David Magazine | Atlanta Issue 601

Page 1

JULY 21, 2010 ISSUE 601

23years celebrating

of Joining Hearts 1 davidatlanta


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DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE 1874 Piedmont Avenue 390-C Atlanta, GA 30324 Mon-Fri 9:30am-6:00pm Phone: 404.418.8901 Fax: 404.418.8901 ext. 7 www.davidatlanta.com mail@davidatlanta.com publisher Matt Neumann matt@davidatlanta.com

editor Jesse Hancock

jesse@davidatlanta.com

creative director Knyckolas Davis

knyckolas@davidatlanta.com

28 july 21, 2010

14 essentially major 44 momma mona 14

seen@ 12 26 42 54 60 62 70 80 81

photography Brian Sawyer Matt Neumann Jon Sinquefield senior account executive Karisha Anderson account executives Jesse Hancock Randy Ladd graphic design Matt Neumann operations and finance Brian Sawyer brian@davidatlanta.com

guides 26 datebook

70 bartab 74 the guide 83 classifieds

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features

68 the brent star report 76 atlanta a-z 99 bitch session

marketing & promotions Chip O'Kelley chip@davidatlanta.com

sales coordinator Travis Gerstman travisg@davidatlanta.com

national ad rep Rivendell Media 908.232.2021 contributors Alex Renteria Michael Jefferys Luis Chiruco David Muller

Brent Star Lucy Dr. Roth Bhairavi Bhatt

cover istockphoto

Opinions expressed by any writer appearing in this publication are not necessarily those of the staff, management, advertisers, organizations or persons appearing in this magazine. No Part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopy recording or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. The mention, appearance or likeness of any person, business, organization, or event in this publication is in no way to be taken as any identification of the sexual, social or political orientation of such persons, businesses, events organizations, staff, shareholders or owners of such. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE is not responsible for claims made by advertisers, errors or changes in information, events and schedules in ads, features or calendars. DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE reserves the right to reject or cancel any advertisement submitted. All copy, text, graphics, photo's and illustrations in submitted ads are published with the understanding that the person and business’ submitting such are fully authorized and have secured proper consent for the use of images, graphics, pictures, names, logos and testimonials used in such ads and that DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE may lawfully publish the same. By submitting such materials, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold blameless DAVID ATLANTA MAGAZINE from any liability resulting from the publication of any such materials or images.

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essentially major by Michael Jeffrey

An Atlantan in Paris (Part Une)

“Bienvenue à l’aéroport Charles de’gaulle international où l’heure locale est 08:45,” said Adrienne, the blonde bombshell of a stewardess that I’d befriended during the extremely long flight to France. And as rusty as my French is, it wasn’t hard to make out her announcement that we’d landed safe and sound in the city of lights. Europe had always been a dream to me; a magical place I saw in movies and photographs, still never within reach. But when my cousin Charles called with news that his company was sending him to Paris for two weeks (all expenses paid) I leapt at the opportunity to tag along. “You have to come!” he shouted over the telephone. “Just please promise you won’t have me partying in the streets all week long. I have to get some work done.” “Oh, of course I’ll behave!” I said, knowing the entire time that once we saw the city lit up at night his thoughts of work would fly right out the window. But just to be thoughtful and not a complete nuisance, I booked my flight to arrive four days after him so he could settle in and at least give the good first impression as being a perfect American businessman to his colleagues. It was early March when I arrived. Weather reports indicated I could be in for frigid temperatures the entire time I was there, none of which deterred me the slightest. I packed two huge suitcases. One full of winter wear, shoes, and separates galore to layer on if necessary. The other was basically empty besides one lone overcoat. I had no idea what Paris had in store for me, but I was certain I’d be taking a new wardrobe home as a memento. “Monsieur Jeffrey?” said Gilbert, the driver holding a sign with my name in bold letters. Apparently travelling for business came with its perks. Charles had arranged for my pick-up and drop-off with a company town car. During the ride I learned Gilbert was a French native originally from the city of Bordeaux. He moved to Paris in his teens when his father discovered he was gay and staunchly disapproved. 14 davidatlanta

“In Paris everyone is okay with who they are,” he told me in perfect English. “Here you can just be yourself or even find yourself if you haven’t quite sorted that out yet.” I prayed he was right. Finding myself was just what the doctor ordered. Dating in Atlanta had left its fair share of battle wounds. All the ups and downs really left me questioning whether or not I was cut out for a relationship at all anymore. Inside I quietly hoped all the romance and allure of Paris would somehow prove me wrong. As the car careened slowly through the city Gilbert pointed out all his favorite landmarks along the way; The Arch de Triumph, The Lourve Pyramid, and every glorious inch of architecture that made up the Opera House. But when we pulled up a few short blocks later to the hotel at 3 Rue de Castiglione, I was certain he had the wrong address. Not only were all expenses paid, but apparently Cousin Charles was doing better in business than he’d let on. Our Parisian home was The Hotel Intercontinental where a trio perfectly groomed bellman greeted me with kind smiles and whisked my bags away. Before I knew it I was settled in my room, gazing out the window overlooking the Tulleries Gardens. “Get the fuck out of here!” was all that kept running through my mind. The fact that I’d flown all night meant nothing. I was wide awake in this brand new world that seemed too rich and beautiful to be true. Then behind me I heard a door close and in rushed Charles screaming at the top of his lungs. “YES! You’re here! Can you believe this!” he shouted. We hugged for a long time and just stared out the window, taking in every inch of the moment. “So where do we begin?” I said. “Darling!” he replied. “We’ve got ten days. Let’s do it all!” Find out what happens in An Atlantan in Paris (Part Deux) in next week’s issue.


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cover

It’s time for one of the hottest parties of the summer, the 23rd annual Joining Hearts pool party. This year’s event will be held from 4 til 11 p.m. this Saturday night, July 24, at the Piedmont Park pool. DJ/Producer Roland Belmares from Los Angeles will be returning. Even though the event is sold out, organizers encourage those who would still like to donate to visit the website at www.joininghearts.org and make their donation or sign up to be a patron. The goal for this group this year is to donate more than $100,000, and 100% of every dollar raised through ticket sales and tips is donated to AID Atlanta and Jerusalem House. This year’s event brings guests from New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Texas, the Carolinas and Alabama. It will feature a larger VIP Lounge and space to accommodate approximately 300 people with seating areas, private wait staff, signature cocktails by Grey Goose, gourmet food by Bridge Catering and photo opportunities with Jezebel magazine. Joining Hearts, Inc., is a 501(c)(3), all-volunteer, non-profit organization dedicated to providing housing support to people living with HIV and AIDS in Atlanta, Georgia. This year marks our 23rd year committed to this cause. While the events we produce have evolved over the years, one aspect has never changed: Interview with Kerry Loftis, board member for Joining Hearts: David: When did the event begin? 23 years ago? Kerry: Joining Hearts began in 1987 by a group of a dozen friends who saw the need to raise funds and provide assistance to people living HIV / AIDS within the Atlanta community. The first Joining Hearts was actually a black tie event held at the Golden Key Club. The event not only raised close to $10,000, but also heightened awareness towards HIV/AIDS. The following year more people within the community became involved and from that enthusiasm, the annual tradition of Joining Hearts began. We are Atlanta’s oldest HIV/AIDS fundraiser and twenty three years later produce a total of six annual fund raising events: Love on the Rocks (February), Change of Seasons (April), Patron/sponsor party (July), Joining Hearts (main event, July), check

presentation (September), and Wish List (December). David: Have the proceeds always gone to charity? Kerry: After the first year the original committee decided donations raised by Joining Hearts would be designated to meet housing assistance needs of people living with HIV/AIDS in metro Atlanta. While the events we produce have evolved over the years, one aspect has never changed, 100% of every dollar raised through ticket sales and tips is donated to our beneficiaries David: Where exactly does the money go? Kerry: At the end of our fiscal year, which is in September we divide the proceeds equally and donate them to Jerusalem House and Aid Atlanta. Funds raised by Joining Hearts


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Years of Joining Hearts

By JESSE A. HANCOCK

make up a huge portion of the budgets of our beneficiaries and are specifically designated to provide clients with housing assistance needs such as assistance with rent, a house payment, a utility bill or temporary shelter. David: What is your involvement with Joining Hearts? Kerry: I originally began volunteering with Joining Hearts 10 years ago as a bartender. I was new to Atlanta and saw it as a way to get involved with the community and develop good quality friendships. Now Joining Hearts is like family. Through the years I have served on the host committee and three years ago was elected to the Board of Directors. As Director of Events, I oversee all events Joining Hearts produces throughout the year to make sure each event is successful and ran in a cost effective manner in order to meet our donation goals. David: Why should people donate to Joining Hearts? Kerry: There still is a need to raise awareness and provide assistance to people living with HIV/AIDS. Medications and treatments have come a long way since 1987 and the illness is now viewed more as a chronic illness rather than a death sentence. Medical statistics show that a person living with HIV/ AIDS has a better chance of survival if they have a stable living environment. Funds raised by Joining Hearts helps provide that safe environment. Over the last few years with the downturn in the economy HIV/ AIDS organizations are seeing an increase in people needing assistance and it is not just low income individuals anymore. We are seeing more educated professionals

who have been unemployed for an extended period of time having to ask for assistance. If someone living with HIV/AIDS loses their job, they are not only faced with loss of income, but they must maintain health coverage through COBRA, which we all know is not cheap. In many cases these individuals struggle with the financial decisions of maintaining their health coverage, medication, house payments or utilities. So the need for assistance is still there. David: Have you seen a decrease in donations since the economy has been struggling? Kerry: Yes, all charities have seen a decrease in their donations with the downturn in the economy. The Board of Joining Hearts is very aware of this fact and we have been extremely creative and constantly thinking “outside of the box� on ways to cut our budget, produce successful events and continue to make record breaking donations to our beneficiaries. 2009 was an extremely successful year for Joining Hearts. We donated a record breaking $93,000 which brought our cumulative total in historical donations to over $1,029,500. David: Does Joining Hearts ever help people with HIV/AIDS outside Atlanta? Kerry: We do cross promotions with other HIV/AIDS charities outside of Atlanta in other cities and states throughout the country. The funds raised my Joining Hearts are primarily used to assist people within our community and surrounding metro Atlanta. 19 davidatlanta


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Club 91 - Thursdays


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la nota rosa

by Luis Chiruco

¡Hola!

¿tienes un momento?

Mira, estoy hecho un lío con todo esto. Pienso que si el domingo no hubiera ido a tu trabajo, tal y como iba (cansado, bebido, despues de una fiesta y un poco cortado), y hubiera ido en otro momento, las cosas habrían salido de otra manera... Fui para que no te pensaras que no quería verte. No te voy a decir, ni que ya no te quiero, ni nada de eso, porque no sería cierto. Pero si te voy a decir que estaba “ilusionado” por haber conocido a alguien diferente del resto. Me he reido mucho contigo, y la he pasado de maravilla,me encanta estar contigo , no sé, hecho de menos ese buen rollo que había entre nosotros. Pensarás que soy ingenuo. No estoy dispuesto a dejar pasar a una persona que me gusta mucho,a la que adoro y que me ha tratado muy bien, y que por un instante incluso me hizo estar “en las nubes”, sólo por una tontería. Y bueno, seguramente piensas que estoy en las nubes por decir todo esto, tampoco te creas, no soy tan tonto. Es sólo que pienso, que aquel domingo no era el momento oportuno (por cómo ibamos) , y por eso salió “mal” (mal al final, y por mi parte)lo siento . Me rallé pensando que te había “decepcionado”. Hablando claro y para quitarle hierro al asunto, te diré que me he estado “informando” (jejeje), y lo que me pasó (mi momento “tierra trágame”) parece que es más normal de lo que yo pensaba… así que 28 davidatlanta

tomo medidas, y miedo perdido, que al fin y al cabo es una tontería, cosas que pasan...perdoname. Las parejas estamos juntas para cuidarnos y protegernos,en las relaciones siempre van exisitir las altas y bajas,debemos de tratar de superar todos los obstaculos que se nos pongan enfrente y asi podemos fortalecer nuestra relacion.A veces se cree que no hay excusa o justificacion acerca de los actos que cometemos,pero al final todos somos humanos y hacemos cosas que ante los ojos de la otra persona no son lo correcto y es de humanos olviadar ...y seguir siendo felices. En fin, que sólo quiero saber qué piensas tú, sea lo que sea. …Cuando alguien me pregunta el por qué decidí ser gay invariablemente les contesto que si fuera una cuestión de elección no puedo entender que alguien escogiera esta vida, no es una cuestión de moda, ni un virus que se va con tu ampolletita disuelta en jugo de naranja. ¿Quién podría ser tan masoquista como para enfrentarse a burlas en la escuela? ¿A rumores en la familia sobre tu eterna soltería o tu mano caída? ¿A ser despedido o a no ser contratado? ¿A tener que hacer un doble esfuerzo en todo: doblemente más eficiente, doblemente más paciente, doblemente más fuerte?

LA NOTA ROSA IS NOT PRODUCED OR EDITED BY DAVID MAGAZINE.


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datebook

Saturday:

Underwear Fashion Show @ Burkhart’s Benefiting Jerusalem House & Grady IDP

The Mary Edith Pitts’ Underwear Fashion Show at Burkhart’s is sponsored by Brushstrokes. The event benefits Jerusalem House and the Grady Infectious Disease Program. Camp drag local legend Mary Edith Pitts hosts 20 male and female models.

Sunday:

Hotlanta Softball League Commissioner’s Cup Tournament @ West Metro Softball Join the Hotlanta Softball League’s B, C and D Divisions as they strive for the second berth to the 2010 Gay Softball World Series.

“Roem” performance Monday: installation @ Woodruff Arts Center Monday Run with Front “Roem,” Lauri Stalling’s third work at the Midtown center in gloATL’s inaugural season, blends dance, music, multimedia and theatrical design. The production features music by Tom Sherwood of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and Sonic Generator, Georgia Tech’s contemporary music ensemble-in-residence.

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Runners Atlanta

905 Juniper Street in Midtown Front Runners Atlanta is a running, walking and social club for gay people and friends.


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datebook

Tuesday July 27th Pearl Cleage

@ Georgia Center for the Book - 7:15-8:45pm Bestselling author Pearl Cleage reads from and signs her latest novel “Till You Hear From Me” at this library event co-sponsored by Outwrite.

Service Industry Night @ The Heretic

You Work Hard in the Service/Hospitality Industry! Come Play Hard at The Heretic Mondays.

Wednesday July 28th Queer Literary Fiction Book Group

“The Big Bang Symphony” @ Charis 7-8:30pm July’s pick is “The Big Bang Symphony: A Novel of Antarctica” by Lucy Jane Bledsoe, the author of several books including the novel Biting the Apple.

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SM 101: Rubber Bondage

@ The Eagle - 8-11:30pm There will be a short visual presentation, a demo and time allowing there may be an opportunity to try it yourself.

Thursday July29th OFFyerHEAD! Britpop + Indie

@ Mary’s - 9pm-3am DJ POST-MODern’s bi-monthly Britpop + Indie music event: OFFyerHEAD with special guests - DJ Quinn and DJ Isle of Mansfield. Classic Britpop & Indie tracks plus the latest from across the pond and beyond.

Indulge @ W Midtown

9pm-12am Back by popular demand, Chris Coleman’s Thursday party return to its roots at The W Midtown. The outdoor patio will be open, drink specials will be available every week and check your weekly announcements.


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health

Causes of Neck Pain and Fatigue By Anthony Staiano, DC

We have all experienced the feeling of tiredness and/or neck and shoulder pain toward the end of the day, especially after sitting in front of a computer monitor for hours? One of the reasons is that your head weighs between 8 to 12 lbs, or the weight of a small bowling ball, and, though the muscles in your neck are designed to carry this weight in the up right position all day, the monitor acts like a magnet for your head… sucking it closer and closer to the monitor. Eventually, your head is out in front of your shoulders by as much as 30º, causing undue strain on the muscles that are designed to support you. As your head goes forward beyond your shoulders, it acts like a fulcrum or lever adding another bowling ball of weight for every 5º your head moves forward toward the monitor and in front of your shoulders. At the end of the day, you can be carrying around an extra 60 lbs of stress! This added stress is a major cause of afternoon fatigue.

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Here are a few things that you can do about it: Set your monitor so that the center is at eye level. Set your chair so that your body is at all 90º angles, including where your hands rest on your key board. Your torso, hips and knees should be at 90º as well as the bend in your elbows. Your wrist should be almost parallel to the floor when at your desk. Periodically look up and then away from your monitor to let your eyes readjust to a distant object. See your chiropractor & get adjusted which can also help reset your posture. There are a number of other activities that you can do to help you though out the day. Call Dr. Anthony Staiano at Atlanta Health & Wellness Chiropractic Clinic to find out more information. (404-325-8870)


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AEN Party at Aurum Lounge



advice

Momma Mona In case you were not able to sleuth through and find a way to communicate with me, here’s my direct email: MommaMona@DavidAtlanta.com. A few people actually called the office and that’s when we realized that we did not post within the Momma Mona site a contact email. So Sorry! But, many thanks to all the 10+ patrons who did catch the misforgottenishtypesortofnotprint and called the office. This is quite a celebration for so many readers to have responded to this red-headed woman with a little extra weight in her middle – but other than that, a sexy as hell human being! Before jumping into this week’s interest, just want to point out that THIS IS YOUR SPACE! Yes, whatever you want to voice or ask, THIS IS YOUR SPACE. I’m here to moderate, facilitate, and generally screw around with your head. I will research and offer the best practices type of thing, but can’t promise that my weird hormones won’t break away and bite if the topic is ripe.

Momma Mona! Is this you?!?!?! I heard you had died or something a few years ago…. What a perfect gig for you to write an advice column for gays. Hope they pay you at least as much as I did in the way of a really good bottle of wine! I’ll be one of your very best fans and……. (more personal communications here). Trey Hey there You! Yep, it’s me and yes, I did die…for a few minutes. Probably why I lost touch with so many people. Nobody tells you that if you flat line for any length of time, there will be some brain damage. It was a struggle for the first two years because I tried to hide my deficits while not really knowing the extent of them. The damage was so deep that I lost the ability to recognize new faces for almost a year! Every time I visited my docs, it was like visiting with new doctors each time. The good news is that it has been about four years now and I’m finally feeling and thinking close to my past “normal” just as the docs said I would. The weird part is that I feel that I have lost at least a year of whatever interactions I did have because I don’t remember! Nevertheless, the mind is an incredible thing and much can be rehabilitated. I am evidence, for sure. Momma Mona

Dear Momma Mona, Here’s a good one for you: I travel all over the US with my job and I pretty much love it. But because I travel so much, I’m finding it difficult to establish a one and only relationship. I’m now in a situation where I have 2 pretty heavy relationships and not sure what to do or if this is even OK. Can these types of relationships work in the long run or am I just fooling myself into thinking I’ve really got something with these two? Torn

Dear Torn, Good for you! Multiple relationships can and do work. In fact, only 25% of the world’s countries are monogamous and within that 25%, about 30% have affairs. Hence, it seems that humans tend not to be naturally monogamous. From my research, honesty about this lifestyle is key. Here’s two examples. Years ago I researched polygamy and had the good fortune to meet and interview several people who had embraced this lifestyle since the 60s. The common key was to be totally open about their polygamous nature with their chosen partners. One lady I interviewed had three long term partners in different states --- one guy for 28 years, another for 21 and the third for the past 12-13 years --- AND while still enjoying a rather open lifestyle as a Swinger in her earlier years. They all knew about each other and had even met one another on different occasions. In fact, when she had cancer surgery and chemo, all three coordinated time to care for her over the many months she needed care. She said that she has had many lovers and tends towards long term relationships and three at any particular time seems to be her satisfaction number. Another hetero Swinger I interviewed was an older male who had also enjoyed many long term relationships. Besides complete openness about his lifestyle, he said the long term relationships worked out better when his partners lived more than 4 or 5 hours away. One of his current lovers was not a Swinger by choice, but OK that he was. He had not been open and honest when he first started having multiple lovers and experienced the hurt from one of his lovers when she found out. He said that was his turning point to always be honest with his relationships. Not everyone could or would handle this lifestyle with him, but he has had a very fulfilling love life and at the time of the interview, he had four long term lovers. Both claim fulfilling love and say they have given and received financial assistance through the years whenever there was a need. Honesty about who they were spending Valentine’s Day or other holidays with was not always an easy thing to maintain, but their experience time and again was that life was much easier and respectful if honesty was maintained. Whether this is the lifestyle for you is your choice. My best to you! Momma Mona

Email your questions to MommaMona@DavidAtlanta.com 44 davidatlanta


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the brent star report

Child, have you heard the latest BUZZ in Marietta… The kids are really doing it out in Marietta, GA! There’s an old saying that says, “Build and They will come” and honey, DO THEY like to cum I mean come! “They” being the folks out in Marietta---gays and str8s. And by “Build” I’m talking about the more than a decade old LeBuzz which is THE place to be out there. LeBuzz is taking PRIDE in it’s own hands and doing the “Marietta Rainbow Festival” a celebration for Gay Pride. The extravaganza is this Saturday, July 24th, and it’s the first ever pride event out there with food, ‘dranks’, shopping, entertainment…you know, a pride event. It’s held in LeBuzz’s huge parking lot as well as inside. New owners Johnathan and Mike took over Lebuzz a little over two years ago and have made a few changes since then… like soon as you walk in you see all kinds of half naked men walking around… either on the bar, offering you a shooter, or hell just offering you a good time! The stage has had a nice face lift (not to mention this queen I know…sorry)…speaking of stage, they have been doing benefit shows to give back to the community, they’re also doing musicals like an original piece call LINT and most recently HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY ITCH. It’s worth going out there because it’s just a few minutes outside this fishbowl known as Midtown plus it’s good to do a new scene every once in awhile. On this night (Friday), I’m the special guest in their show. Friends Oscar (of Las Margaritas) and Princess Charles ( host of the Tuesday show at restaurant SHOUT) came out with me to support and we had a blast! This is Destiny Brooks’ show and let me tell you, this Lil Kim Jr is really WORKING the crowds out there. Hold on for a second; let me see if I can sneak in a quickie chat: Brent: show?

Girl, how would you describe your

Destiny: It’s fun. It’s energetic, nasty, raunchy, put it in your face… it’s full of sex appeal… Brent: What? It sound like you said we take lots of pills… Destiny: No SEX APPEALS silly, but if you take some Viagra, the show will last a little longer. Brent: How long have u been doing this show and is this your first time hosting? Destiny: A year in a half…and yes it’s my first. 66 davidatlanta

And also I recently hosted at The Fantasy Girls show a few Wednesdays back and THAT was exciting. I’m thinking about taking this hosting thing to a new level. Thank you Destiny. Folks, you gotta go out there and do something different for a change. Their weekly shows starts right after getting over the hump night Wednesdays, where Thursdays is Ladies Night, Saturdays is Saturday Night Fever with Nicole Paige Brooks and tonight is Fierce Fridays hosted by Destiny Brooks. 585 Franklin Rd. Marietta, GA 30067. Earlier, Destiny told me “A lot of lesbians bring their str8 friends to see the drag queens. “Come out with me tonight Bob and see these men looking like REAL women!”…ha ha, speaking of which, I got a chance to speak with a cast member who’s leaving. I asked her where is she going: Shavanna Brooks: Albany, GA to Club Karma Cafe to be a show director there—my personal chauffeur stole from me so I had to kill him, I don’t play that. You don’t take from me, he took my make up and you know my fans are number one. Sadly the person I’m talking about name happens to be Princess Charles. Brent: (laughs) but aren’t you still doing Princess Charles show on Thursdays? Shavanna Brooks: You mean the “DONCHAwishyourgirlfriendwashotlikeme” show? Yes. Brent: You’re too much! Well, that’s my time for this week, until next week, don’t read the girls, read The Brent Star Report!. Where to catch Brent Star: Mondays at Blakes, Tuesdays at SHOUT, Saturdays at Tijuana Garage, Thursdays and


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atlanta a-z

E

FIV E D O

EPIS

E

by David C. Muller

r o f is

Once upon a time Luke went to a palm reader in Gwinnett County. The palm reader told him, “You must move to Atlanta, Luke, for you will find love there.” Luke was fond of karaoke. Luke especially liked to get up on stage in front of strangers to sing “LaBama” in front of others despite the fact that he could barely hold a tune. On Tuesday, Luke paid a visit to the Eagle on Ponce to partake in their evening of karaoke. It had been years since Luke had visited the Eagle. Luke truly and only went to the Eagle for the karaoke. He had long ago decided the ‘type’ of men that frequented such an establishment were beyond the scope of his physical tastes and preferences and, when he actually got there, Luke became shy and inhibited. Instead of wowing the crowd with his musical inabilities, Luke instead went to the bar and ordered a drink. On this night he ordered a rum and Coke and deflected the advances of men older and hairier than himself: “Well, well, well,” a man old enough to be Luke’s lover came up to him, “I haven’t seen you in here before.” Luke dished out some attitude, “And this will be the last time you see me in here if you keep bothering me.” Luke did not have any issue with older men. He 68 davidatlanta

just did not expect to find ‘love’ that night at the Eagle Bar. That all changed when a man, well tanned and muscular, came over to him and said: “Hi there, my name is Edward and I think you’re cute. I don’t want to hit on you. I want to get to know you.” The man had a shaved head and Luke liked a man with a shaved head. Luke was impressed with Edward’s opening line, he said, “Sit down, buy me another drink and we can talk.” “Oh we can talk, can we?” Edward smirked, “And all I have to do is buy you a drink?” Luke smiled and, through the course of conversation that evening, it turned out Luke actually liked Edward. Luke had an open mind about where and with who he might find ‘love’ and even though Edward was older than Luke, he was also charming, considerate and a great conversationalist. Edward was clearly older than Luke, from an earlier generation, and he had some wild opinions about the state of gay affairs in America. “I do not like Obama.” Edward told Luke, “I think he needs to do more to clean up the Gulf of Mexico. It’s just shameful what’s going to happen to that beautiful beach down there in Pensacola.” While Luke might not have agreed with Edward


a m g i n E w

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on everything, he did enjoy his company. After that first night, Edward took Luke out. Edward wined him and dined Luke. Edward took Luke to dinner at Joe’s on Juniper, they went out to drink at Chapparal and they shopped together for leather chaps at the Atlanta Leather Company of Cheshire Bridge. One night about a week or so after they met, Edward finally invited Luke back to his place. Edward lived in a very nice apartment; a brand new condo with hardwood floors on Ralph McGill. Edward slept in a giant oversized queen size bed set beneath a ceiling that stretched ten feet towards the heavens. Luke loved the décor: Edward had trimmed his home with dark wood, leather furniture and rugs made of light wool. A horse enthusiast, Edward had hung pictures and posters of equestrian spectaculars all over the place and he illuminated his home with dim mood lighting. Luke, of course, finally put out for Edward and they slept together on their third date. In the bliss of post-coital sumptuousness, as Edward washed up in the nearby bathroom, Luke rested on his back naked as the day he was born, twiddling his thumbs and idling in anticipation. Luke rolled over onto his left side and, by default, Luke had the chance to look through the open door into Edward’s closet. Luke saw something sparkle in that closet: he saw a single

e,

, Luk

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pink and silver sequin glimmer brightly in the light. “Edward, what’s that?” Luke lifted an exhausted finger from the mattress, “I see something pink and sparkly in your closet.” “Oh that?” Edward came in naked and giggling; he was ready for another round with Luke, his younger-hot-piece-o’-ass lying in wait in his bed. “That’s for my other job.” “Your other job? I thought you were just a veterinarian.” “I am, but on select weekends of the year, and in select cities and venues, I become… Enigma!” Edward yanked on the pink and silver sequin aglimmer in his closet. He pulled out a long, flowing gown enmeshed in all sorts of small shiny objects. Luke shook his head, “I don’t understand.” “Sweetie,” Edward said, “I’m a drag queen. I am… Enigma Jones… my shtick is Tammy Wynette crossed with Celine Dion and Shania Twain.” Luke had an open mind, but not that open. “I’m sorry, Edward, I have to go now.” Luke gathered up all his clothes, his shoes and his socks and scrambled out of Edward’s beautiful condo. NEXT EPISODE: “F is for French Kiss” 69 davidatlanta


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drag droppings

Latest and Greatest Drag World News

By Makaila Andrews

OK, so the drag world is always full of exciting and amazing tidbits that everyone wants to know about. It is my job to let you in on the scope, without further ado, here is your first edition of Drag Droppings. The world of drag is in a whirlwind, with old shows, new shows, pageants, seasoned entertainers, and newcomers. Locally, we have some amazing events happening this week, including the first ever Marietta Gay Pride. The Marietta Rainbow Festival will be happening this Saturday, July 24, 2010 at The New LeBuzz. The festivities start at 12 pm with a fantastic array of vendors, events, and entertainers. This is truly a first, something you do not want to miss, inside or outside the perimeter. Also in local news, we have the birthday of Mary Edith Pitts, who hopes to raise $60,000, topping her $40,000 success last year. Each year with our help, she raises this money to benefit two incredible AIDS foundations. I personally want to say thank you to Mary Edith Pitts for all her amazing work as a fundraiser for AIDS research and assistance. I throw my wig off for you! You can see Mary entertaining the masses every week at Burkharts. Just check David calendar of events for more details. Atlanta also says goodbye to a truly superb drag star icon, Mr. Charlie Brown, who has made her way west to star in a cabaret show in Lake Tahoe, Nevada. Charlie has been a pioneer here in Atlanta, paving the way for drag entertainers not just locally but nationally. Her footwork has made it possible for the true art of drag to not only be viewed as a sensational art form, but also as an awesome entertainment aspect. I personally have gotten to work with her many times throughout the 72 davidatlanta

years that I have been entertaining, with each time receiving great advice that I have applied to the development of my craft. Pageants, pageants, pageants!!! It’s pageant season and the girls are out in force offering up stiff competition for each other as they go wig to wig in pageantry systems all across the country. There many up coming pageants locally, and also a number a them throughout the nation. One such local pageant is the triple crowning of Miss Atlanta Showgirl, Grand Diva, and Rising Diva brought to you by the Antoinette Marketing Group. These Pageants will be held at the Jungle on September 23, 2010, for more info you can visit HYPERLINK “http://www.antoinettemarketinggroup. com/”www.antoinettemarketinggroup.com. In national news, Miss Gay U S of A Newcomer will be held August 11-13, 2010 in Indianapolis, IN. For more info you can visit HYPERLINK “http://www.usofacomputers.com/”www. usofacomputers.com. Are you new to the drag world or just an old gal trying to come up with some new tricks? Well, I have found some great drag resources that you should not miss out on. This week I want to point you in the direction of www. amazon.com. Now, I know you might think I am missing the mark, but actually let me tell you, amazon.com has an amazing collection of things that are quintessential to the modern day drag artist. This site offers cosmetics, clothing, fabrics, fringe, shoes in hard to find sizes, and many other items at great prices. If you are like me, and you stay in the drag world long enough, you will have spent a small fortune, with this being said, every little discount helps. Listen, do not take my word for it, check it out,


I know you will be seriously surprised. Finally, for those of us who are absolute Drag Race Fans, RuPaul is at it again with the recently aired first episode of Drag U. Miss Ru has taken members of the last 2 cast of Drag Race and formed an elite group of Glamour Experts to educate “real” woman and how to be utterly fabulous. This is a true must watch, tune into you cable or satellite provider for show times and dates. Well, kiddies, I must bid you farewell for now, but please keep your eyes open for next week’s edition of Drag Droppings.

Drag Artist of the Week This week I want to feature the talented Gigi Monroe! She is truly a gal after my own heart, and although she is no longer in Atlanta, she is still one of our favorite entertainers. Gigi, aka, James, has been quite the busy boy, just returning from a great run on a cruise ship touring parts of Europe, she is now putting the finishing touches on a new show called, “Gone Country” in which she will be giving the illusions of great country stars like Dolly Parton, Taylor Swift, and Lady Antebellum. The show is located at the 7 Feathers Casino in Canyonville, Oregon. Gigi will be working along side the talents of Coti Collins, Denise Russell, and Phyl Craig, as they embark on a 10 week, 10 shows per week extravaganza of pure entertainment. As a finally thought, she would like to tell Atlanta thanks for all your continued love and support... you know I’d be no where without it!

Weekly Highlights Wednesday: July 21, 2010/10pm/The Jungle/ Fantasy Girls Thursday: July 22, 2010/11pm/Blake’s/The Shawnna Factor Friday: July 23, 2010/10pm/3 Legged Cowboy/ Studs and Spurs Saturday: July 24, 2010/12pm Until/The New LeBuzz/Marietta Rainbow Festival Sunday: July 25, 2010/9pm/Burkharts/The Mary Edith Pitts Sunday Spectacular Monday: July 26, 2010/11pm/Blake’s/Drag On The Edge with Alexandria Martin Tuesday: July 27, 2010/10pm/Mary’s/Karaoke with CJ

Drag Tip of the Week For smoother, more airbrushed eye shadow, use clown white as your blending agent! Question of The Week Email Response to makailaandrews@hotmail. com Pumptagious- the addiction of silicone injections for the enhancement of body and face. Question: How do you feel about silicone injections?

having

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horoscopes ARIES TAURUS

by Lucy

You’re feeling extra zippy and ready to forslow almost anything lately You need to do whatever it takes down this week — so even if that slamming the Your brakes on some -get out theremeans and shake things up! creative mind projectit that lot to you. Things should pickfun. up makes muchmeans easier toa surmount obstacles and have great very soon, but progress this week is false.

You have every right to feel superior this week -- but that Open up andit’s take in another perspective — it around shouldyou be doesn’t mean a good idea to flaunt it! The people quite valuable totoyou! It’s athat good time of foregotism, you to so step are extra-sensitive anything smacks dialup it your efforts to two. show a friend or loved one that you are down a notch or totally on their side.

GEMINI

You’ve or two that you now, don’t mind sharing -- and Thingsgot areanaopinion little strained right but not so much those around youfigure shouldit be to engage them. that you can’t allready out. You do need to It’s try aagood few time for long, dynamic that might actually lead somewhere. experiments beforetalks you’re likely to know how to

CANCER

You’ve got more coming at you right now than you expect -- so get ready! A bigare improvement is in the works, one that you and may Other people more than a little confused lately, know nothing about, and nowkeep is themisunderstanding time for the big unveiling. that could mean that they you — even fun! when you try to explain yourself! You may want to Have

LEO

proceed, so use your brain!

let it go until next week.

Your fiery sense of self is provoking you to tackle all kinds Don’t off half-cocked — or you need to of new run challenges -- at work, inright your now love life pretty much absorb theIt’s situation fully time before you up canand really make anywhere. an excellent to step ensure thatany the headway. and double-check. Once you know world knowsCheck your name. what’s going on, your actions should stick.

VIRGO

Those closest to you are very right nowif--you probably Your energy just right fordemanding now— especially have too much you so!isYou’ve to forward! step up Little and make your own big plans want to got push things should expectations clear, so that they can take their needs elsewhere conspire to help you out, so you can expect to meet all if they must. goals.

LIBRA

Your side isstate out and focusdifficult -- so make sure thatright you Your active emotional is ainlittle to handle surround with get all the right together people! It’s a really a good now. Seeyourself if you can things long enough to time group activities, andoryou’ve got more than bow for outbig of any big meetings appointments. It’s aenough good self-care that’s for sure! ideas to gotime, around.

SCORPIO

Your social has definitely beensome working for you You’re not energy an egomaniac -- though misinformed — it’s a might great think timesotoright bury the make spectators now. Youhatchet, know you’re bestnew for contacts or even take the first step toward a new romanthe task at hand, and you don’t feel the need to spend much time tic entanglement. Why not? convincing others.

SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN

This not aof good time to bust out the credit or to A wildisabout stroke hits you just when you needyour itcards thesavings most -forget theluck long-term. If you can boost one you could never predict, so don’t go buying stocks or lottery this month, you are sure to appreciate your foresight in tickets. Thisfuture. could result in a big boost to your work or love life. the far-off

Try tofeel put as tooifmuch first impressions this week -Younot may your stock good in energy has been driving you there areweek’s liable to bemoment. serious errors! Superficial appearances to this big It could be an award or justare a extremely deceiving, take the time to really plumb depths. hint of praise from so exactly the right person, butthe now you know where to start building.

AQUARIUS PISCES

You’re feeling a little too settled in your thinking lately -- that This is anot a good forStill, struggles — at least notwith for is often danger sign week for you! you might want to roll you! to get friendscataclysm and colleagues to back you it for Try a while, as your the ensuing could have delightful up, but you may just need to hunker down and wait for a consequences! more auspicious day to fight back.

This is not the best time to offer advice, as it’s seen as unnecessary A stroke good you luckmeet. is more seems to be — by almost of anyone Holdthan on toit your gems of wisdom though that doesn’t mean you have tobeget to the bottom for a few more days, when people should more receptive. of it! You can just enjoy the good energy and give thanks to those who watch out for you.


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Cristina at Chaparral


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bartab Monday

Felix’s

Mixx

Video Request NightIndustry Night 9pm

Friends on Ponce

Model T

Heretic

Tripps

Amsterdam

BJ Roosters

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Blake’s

Smirnoff Martini Night

Enchanted Evnings With Ken & Donnie

Gay Film Festival with Paul @ 9:30pm.

Drag on The Edge 11pm with Alexandria Martin

LeBuzz

Burkharts

Mary’s

Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close

The Eagle

Bare Chest Night $3PBR

Felix’s

Free Pool! Industry Night

Friends on Ponce

Afternoons with Jasen 2pm

Frogs

$1 Tacos 6-9pm

Heretic

Brian May is pouring up stiff drinks & great conversation. 10pm to 3 am

LeBuzz

Man Dance Cabaret GOGO Dancers Food& Drink Specials 8pm

Mary’s

Open 5pm DJ Va Jay Jay Spins

Mixx

Live Pianist 9pm - 1am

Model T

SIN! Service Industry Night! Discounted Drinks! Party with Elvis!

Woofs

Texas Hold’em 8pm

Tuesday 3 Legged Cowboy Family Poker 7:30pm

Amsterdam

Showtunes 9pm

BJ Roosters

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Blake’s

Twisted Trivia @ 9pm starring The Lady Shabazz

Burkharts

Karaoke 11:30pm

The Eagle

Karaoke $3.75 Well Drinks

86 davidatlanta

Talent Search & Karaoke

CJ Hosting Mary-Oke @ 10pm

Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm

Karaoke! With The Fabulous CJ! or The Party Man Patrick! 9:30pm

Taco Night - Free Tacos 5PM

Swinging Richards

$5 Cover! Free VIP Lounge Entry

Woofs

Woofs House Trivia starts at 8:00pm

Mixx

Thursday

Model T

Dance Lessons @ 8-9 Ladies Night

Texas Hold’em Poker 7:30 - 10pm

Always A Party! Wyatt, Gary & Elvis serve up their Best!

Swinging Richards

3 Legged Cowboy

Amsterdam Rita’s & Smirnoff Tini’s Special

No Cover Tuesdays!

Bellissima

Woofs

Live DJ Entertainment

Free WII from 4:00 till close Industry Night!!

Wednesday

BJ Roosters Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

3 Legged Cowboy

Blake’s

Amsterdam

Get L.I.T. All Day Specials

Texas Holdem Poker @ 7p The Shawnna Factor @ 11p featuring: Alexandria Martin, Nicole Paige Brooks, Phoenix and Lena Lust

Bellissima

Burkharts

Intermediate 2Step @ 8-9

Texas Hold ‘Em Poker 7pm

BJ Roosters

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Blake’s

Princess Charles Fashionistas 11:30pm

The Eagle Dance Music $2.50 Schnapps

Rated R @ 11pm - starring Lady Shabazz, Shawnna Brooks, Nichelle Paris, Lateasha Shante Schuntel, Lena Lust & Destiny Brooks Half Price Apps: ALL DAY

Felix’s

Burkharts

Heretic

Karaoke Idol 10:30pm - Close w/ Shavonna B. Brooks

The Eagle

Modern Family Night $3 PBR

Friends on Ponce

H.U.M.P. DAY With Jeremy, Ken & Daniel

Heretic

Boys Night Out Dress Code party 10pm - 3am

LeBuzz

Hump Night & New Entertainer Showcase

Mary’s

DJ Yes Sir Spins Rock 9pm

Karaoke

Friends on Ponce HOT NIGHTS With Jasen and Donnie

Papi’s Cafe Con Leche presents “HAVANA HEAT”! NYC-Style Latin Tribal Beats & Live Bongos! 10pm

LeBuzz Ladies Night Shows

Mary’s Themed Parties Reto DJ’s

Swinging Richards 2-4-1 Night Door Entry and VIP $10 Open 6:30pm

Mixx Kareoke Remixx Show 9pm-1am

Model T Robert & Michael serve up their Best!


Woofs Meet and Greet for “Gathering Time”! Daily Food Specials

Mixx

Mixx

High Energy Music Videos 9pm-1am

Dance Party 10pm - 3am

Model T

Friday

Model T

Bagel Day! Free Bagels Noon-3pm

Free Tacos! All The Fixins! 3:30 pm to gone!

3 Legged Cowboy

Swinging Richards

Swinging Richards

Studs & Spurs Shows at 10, 11, 12, and 1

Open 6:30pm - $10 Hot Naked Men and Big Cocktails

Amsterdam

Tripps Bar

Laser Show Dance Party with DJ Steve Lynch

High Energy Videos 9pm

Bellissima

Woofs

Live DJ Entertainment

Great Food, Drink & Good Times

BJ Roosters

Saturday

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

3 Legged Cowboy Dance Lessons @ 8-9

Blake’s

Kitty LeClaw’s Meow Mix 11pm

Amsterdam

High Energy Videos 9pm

Burkharts

Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm

Bellissima

Live DJ Entertainment

Chaparral

Got Leche? Latino dance Party & Show with DJ Chirucco 10pm - Hot Latino Dancers and Divas

Karaoke with Brett & Tyler

Friends on Ponce

Heretic

ndulge Your “PRIMAL URGES” with DJ Rick Walsh - 10pm

Open @ Noon with Bob Brewer

Heretic

Fresh with top 40 music & Video dance party 10pm-3am

Presenting the finest dance entertainment with the best local & nationally acclaimed deejays every week! Check our ad elsewhere in David for details! 10pm

LeBuzz

LeBuzz

Jungle

Dance Party & Show

Mary’s

Open 5pm Boys Room Party Themed Party - Love DJ

Saturday Night Fever Show

Mary’s

Dance Party Hot Mess 9PM Differnt DJ Every Week

Ansley

Eye Ansley Eye Care |

Amsterdam

Sunday Brunch 11:30am - 3pm Showtunes with a Twist 7pm

Bellissima

Live DJ Entertainment

Blake’s

Felix’s

Happy Time With Daniel and Terry

Sunday

Blake’s

DJ Dance Party

Friends on Ponce

Great Food, Drink & Good Times

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

The Eagle

Bartenders Ray & Cory Serve it up!

Woofs

BJ Roosters

Mary Edith Pitts Show 11:30pm

Felix’s

BBQ Cookout 1-5pm

Male Bar Top Dancers 8pm-1am

Burkharts

DJ Dance Party & Club Night

Tripps

BJ Roosters

Jealouse’s Daring Divas 11pm

The Eagle

Open 6:30pm - $10 T-Shirt Review @ Midnight

Ansley Mall

The Armorettes @ 8pm

Burkharts

Mary Edith Pitts Show @ 9pm

Felix’s

Bloody Mary & Mimosa Wallet Pleasers

Eagle

Closed- See Us On Monday!

Friends on Ponce Sunday Dinner 4pm

Model T

Free Lunch Buffett with Ron @ 3:30 pm til it’s gone!

Tripps

Free buffet 3pm Karokee 7pm

Woofs

Great Food, Drink & Good Times

CARE

1544 Piedmont Avenue NE, Ste. 320 • Atlanta, GA 30324 Phone 404.888.9444 • F. 404.888.9666 • www.ansleyeyecare.com

87 davidatlanta


@

the guide SEEN Lindbergh Dr.

17th St.

ire esh Ch

16 10th St. 37,13,3

5

31

26. Oscar’s

1510 Piedmont Avenue NE At Ansley Square www.oscarsatlanta.com

Monroe Dr.

Pie dm on tA ve .

9

Spring St. W. Peachtree St. Peachtree St. Juniper St. Piedmont Ave.

10th St.

COMING SOON

6,11,21,35 15 36 1,2

14th St.

4

25 40 175 38 39 Rd. 3 14 idge 19 Br

24 27

8

28 10

Briarcliff Rd.

Northside Dr.

29

ay sw res p Ex

st ea rth o N 31 34

30

33

85

N. Highland

75

7

Amsterdam Ave. Virginia Ave.

Ponce De Leon Pl.

18

Peach tree R d.

400

12

Ponce de leon Ave.

22North Ave.

Ralph McGill Blvd.

20

88 davidatlanta

NEW 91

Boulevard Dr.

Downtown

91 Broad Street SW 404.581.0577 www.91below.com

Airport

N 20,23


1. Amsterdam 502 Amsterdam Ave. 404-892-2227 myspace.com/amsterdamatlanta

18. LeBuzz 585 Franklin Rd. (Marietta) 770-424-1337 www.thenewlebuzz.com

36. Boy Next Door 1447 Piedmont Rd. 404.873.2264 www.boynextdoor.biz

2. Bellissima 560-B Amsterdam Ave. 404-917-0220 myspace.com/bellissima_lounge

19. Las Margaritas 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-873-4464 www.lasmargaritasatl.com

37. Outwrite Bookstore & Cafe 991 Piedmont Ave. 404-607-0082

3. Blake’s on the Park 227 10th St. 404-892-5786 myspace.com/blakesonthepark

20. Mary’s 1287 Glenwood Ave. 404-624-4411 www.marysatlanta.com

4. BJ Roosters 2345 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-634-5895 www.bjroostersatl.com

21. Mixx 1492 Piedmont Rd. 404-228-4372

5. Bulldogs 893 Peachtree St. 404-872-3025

22. Model-T 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-872-2209 www.modeltatlanta.com

6. Burkhart’s 1492-F Piedmont Rd. 404-872-4403 www.burkharts.com

23. My Sisters Room 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 678-705-4585

7. Chaparral 2715 Buford Hwy. 678-886-3205 8. Club Europe 4001 Presidential Pkwy. 770-452-1240 www.thelionsdenatlanta.com 9. Club Opera 1150-B Crescent Ave. 404-872-1150 www.operaatlanta.com 10. Eagle 306 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-873-2453 www.atlantaeagle.com 11. Felix’s 1510-G Piedmont Rd. 404-249-7899 12. Friends On Ponce 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. 404-817-3820 www.friendsonponce-atl.com 13. Gilbert’s 219 10th St. 404-872-8012 www.gilbertscafe.com 14. Heretic 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-325-3061 www.hereticatlanta.com 15.HOBNOB 1551 Piedmont Ave. 404-968-2288 16. Joe’s on Juniper 1049 Juniper St. 404-875-6634 www.joesatlanta.com 17. Jungle 2115 Faulkner Rd. 404-844-8800 myspace.com/ jungle_bradwilliams

38. Poster Hut 2175 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-633-7491 PRIVATE SOCIAL CLUBS 39. Eros 2219 Faulkner Rd. 404-287-4482 34. Manifest 2103 Faulkner Rd. 404-549-2815

24. New Order 1544 Piedmont Rd. 404-874-8247 25. Opus 1 1086 Alco St. 404-634-6478 26. Phaze 1 4933 Memorial Dr. 404-296-4895 27. Swinging Richards 1400 Northside Dr. 404-352-0532 www.swingingrichards.com 28. 3 Legged Cowboy 931 Monroe Dr. 404-876-0001 www.3leggedcowboy.net 29. Tripps 1931 Piedmont Cir. 404-724-0067 30. Woofs 2425 Piedmont Rd. 404-869-9422 www.woofsatlanta.com GYMS/SPAS/BATHS 31. FLEX 76 - 4th St. NW 404-815-0456 32. Gravity Fitness 2201 Faulkner Rd. NW 404-486-0506 33. Workout Anytime 2140 Peachtree Rd. 404-351-3264 RETAIL/BOOKS/DVDS 34. Atlanta Leather Company 2070 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 404-320-8989

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35. Brushstrokes/Capulets 1510 Piedmont Ave. 404-876-6567 89 davidatlanta


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To the bitch who is so insecure who has to say open relationships don’t work; your man was in my bed last night right next to my BF.

Why is it straight couples always have to hold hands when walking thru midtown? Like they are afraid someone will think their gay?

I have loved you for 7 years now and finally we can start a relationship. I knew you would learn to love me back! When i hear guys say that they are d and d free that’s when I wonder if they are lying. Have you ever noticed most of the people judging long term relationships are so damaged and bitter they can never find someone to put up with them for a month. I have had enough of circumcised penises! The scars are ugly and there’s nothing there to play with. I have to buy lube just to get the guy off! Ugh! Maybe you should date a girl. Cause I’m not putting on the g sting and pink panties honey. All seems calm and peaceful in Gay Atlanta now that you`re sitting in a jail cell.

How can anyone find these bar room conversations so interesting? Wind-up Ken dolls completely fascinated y the most trivial things. Just because I don’t walk with the gay swagger and do not speak with a gay lisp does not mean that I am not gay. I really wish you mean would recognize a member of the family instead of acting like I am not good enough to be who I really am.

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Why is it I cant find a Paul Rudd, Paul Walker or Jason Statham whenever I go out and instead always end up stuck in a room with a dozen Bruce Villanch lookalikes?

The ‘80s ended a little while ago. Feel free to lose that perpetual three-day beard. I’m not being at all shallow when I reject trolls and fatsos as potential mates. After all, If you lie down with dogs you’re likely to get up with fleas if not rabies!

It’s not getting older that makes you ugly, it’s not taking care of yourself as you do assuming you were good looking to begin with. Of course, if you were an eyesore at 20 you’re likely to always be one reardless of age. Trolls come in all ages. I want a poke and choke with Steve Carell and Paul Rudd. Why are all escorts in this town “versatile?” Even the ones that say they are tops say they are “versatile.” What is a versatile top anyway, one whose rear door is open to visitors? To the person who was bitching about the guy with the Asian fetish that freaks him out: You unnappreciative bitch! Not only am I the best thing you’ve had in a long time, but I’m also the only worthwhile thing you can get!




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