Davids Camp magazine 21st Edition

David’s Camp Magazine

Showing the way, the truth, and the life...John 14:6

SLEEPLESS NIGHT (INSOMNIA) PAGE 3

BE RESOLUTE PAGE 2

WHEN TRAGEDY HAPPENS

HOW TO FIGHT HELPLESSNESS

PAGE 10

WHERE IS YOUR WRAPPER?

PAGE 4

A SURPRISING WAY TO HELP YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION STICK PAGE 12

WHAT A PITY!

Seyi

PAGE 12

Alesh PAGE 6

WHAT OTHERS DONT KNOW

PAGE 5

9 SIGNS THAT YOU’RE DATING A PL AYER

PAGE 9

issued in the UK

Free 21st Edition

Letter From THE David Oluwole-David

Be

he day I made Apostle Paul my biblical mentor was the day I read in the Bible, the book of Acts 14:19-22...

“Then some Jews came from Antioch and Iconium and won the crowd over. They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the city, thinking he was dead. But after the disciples had gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city. The next day he and Barnabas left for Derbe. They preached the gospel in that city and won a large number of disciples. Then they returned to Lystra, Iconium and Antioch, strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.”

Apostle Paul didn’t go home to refresh, bathe, rest, shave, re-strategise or anything; he simply got up and went back into the city.

Few Life-Changing Lessons: 1. I concluded that it’s as if Paul wanted to die but was looking for who will kill him. Remember he said, “I die daily”...1 Corinthians 15:31 2. It as if even if Paul wanted to die, heaven was rejecting him because he needed to suffer the kind of terror he meted out to the disciples while he was wreaking havoc on God’s kingdom.

Be careful about what you do today; the consequences will be waiting for you in the future. The Bible says in Galatians 6:7...”Don’t be misled- you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.”

“Our reality today is the consequence of our decisions yesterday.”

3. In life, if you are not stubborn in a godly way/resolute, you won’t go far. Before God releases grace onto you, He wants to see how resolute/determined you are. The three Hebrew boys said in Daniel 3:16-18...”Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you that have set up.”

Uncle/auntie, that’s not grace. That’s being resolute/stubborn. I love the part, “even if He does not deliver.” Are you willing to face the persecution, the trouble, the name-calling, the pain, the disappointment in the name of God, even if God keeps silent and doesn’t show up when you expect Him to rescue you?

If when anything unpleasant happens to you, you throw in the towel easily, you’ll never achieve anything in life; you’ll never amount David’s Camp Magazine

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a prolific writer, an ardent Bible student, an author and has compassion for the liberation of souls that are yet to know about the faithfulness and goodness of God.

RESOLUTE

T

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EDITOR

to anything. You can’t go far with that attitude.

Everything good in life has to be fought for. Haven’t you read in Matthew 11:12...”From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been subjected to violence, and violent people have been raiding it.”

This year, be resolute. Be stubborn in a good way!

It’s a new year, a new dawn, a new page, a new song, a new opportunity and a new stage. Are you ready to raid this year and get what belongs to you? Be Resolute!

This year, we hope to make it better, cover more grounds and make more impact.

We welcome on board our new editor, Adedayo Showemimo. She’s a lover of God and gifted in what she does. I have no doubt her contributions will take us to the next level.

In this edition, we feature US-based saxophone maestro, Seyi Alesh.

You’ll surely be blessed by his interview with us. You’ll equally be blessed by other articles in this Edition.

We look forward to your feedbacks, comments and recommendations.

Blessings!

Editors Adedayo Showemimo Bose Oluwole-David

Contributing Writers David Oluwole-David Dr. Margaret Rutherford Eniola Israel Pastor Layo Afuape Bose Oluwole-David Bisi Adeleye fayemi

Published by David’s Camp Limited, davidcampministry@yahoo.co.uk www.davidscamp.org

Designed and printed by shalomwales int’l 07806781603, myprints@mail.com

Showing the way the truth and the Life...john 14:6

HEALTH TALK

HEALTH

- Rachael Eniola Israel

- A qualified public health practitioner

Sleepless Night (Insomnia) WHAT IS INSOMNIA? Insomnia is having difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep for long enough to feel refreshed the next morning. It’s a common problem thought to regularly affect around one in every three people in the UK, and is particularly common in elderly people.

If you have insomnia, you may: •find it difficult to fall asleep •lie awake for long periods at night •wake up several times during the night •wake up early in the morning and not be able to get back to sleep •not feel refreshed when you get up •find it hard to nap during the day, despite feeling tired •feel tired and irritable during the day and have difficulty concentrating TYPES OF INSOMNIA There are two types of insomnia: •Primary insomnia: Primary insomnia means that a person is having sleep problems that are not directly associated with any other health condition or problem.

•Secondary insomnia: Secondary insomnia means that a person is having sleep problems because of something else, such as a health condition (like asthma, depression, arthritis, cancer, or heartburn); pain; medication they are taking; or a substance they are using (like alcohol).

Persistent insomnia can have a significant impact on the quality of your life. It can limit what you’re able to do during the day, affect your mood, and lead to relationship problems with friends, family and colleagues.

You’re probably not getting enough good-quality sleep if you

constantly feel tired throughout the day and it’s affecting your everyday life.

Everyone needs different amounts of sleep.

On average, we need: •adults: 7 to 9 hours •children: 9 to 13 hours •toddlers and babies: 12 to 17 hours WHAT CAUSES INSOMNIA? •stress and anxiety •a poor sleeping environment – such as an uncomfortable bed, or a bedroom that’s too light, noisy, hot or cold •lifestyle factors – such as jet lag, shift work, or drinking alcohol or caffeine before going to bed •mental health conditions – such as depression and schizophrenia •physical health conditions – such as heart problems, other sleep disorders and long-term pain •certain medicines – such as some antidepressants, epilepsy medicines and steroid medication.

Treatment Your GP will try to find out what’s causing your insomnia so you get the right treatment.

Sometimes you’ll be referred to a therapist for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

This can help you change the thoughts and behaviours that keep you from sleeping.

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MINISTRY

WHERE IS YOUR BISI ADELEYE-FAYEMI

I

was in Uganda a few years ago for one of the programs we used to run at the African Women’s Leadership Institute, when one day, there was a report about something that had happened in one of the local markets- one of the women in the market went into labour unexpectedly.

It seemed there was no time to get her to a nearby hospital or clinic, so the women around went into action. Some of them ran around to look for basins, hot water, towels, and razors. A few held her hands and encouraged her to push.

Majority of the women around took out their wrappers and held them up, creating a protective ring around the woman, shielding her from prying eyes. Every now and then, this scenario plays itself in other markets around the continent, and the responses are mostly the same – women bring out their wrappers to protect one of their own.

Sadly, this is no longer the case these days. Instead of wrappers coming out, it would be cell phones to record every graphic detail. Sure, help might still come, but not before the person concerned has all their pain and agony out there for the entire world to see.

Recently, there was the case of a young woman in Ajah, Lagos, Nigeria who was found wandering the streets. Reports on how she got there vary, but she was stark naked, extremely emaciated and incoherent. Instead of immediately rushing to help, covering her up and getting her medical attention, onlookers laughed at her, threw things at her and recorded her on their cell phones.

Without any idea of who she was or how she got there, judgements were made on the spot about her being the victim of ritualists which she must have brought on herself in her quest to make quick money. A Good Samaritan, Keira Hewatch, stepped in and took her to the hospital. Even though many onlookers were not prepared to help the poor woman on the road, they tried to stop Keira from helping her, saying she too might be bewitched.

Essentially, they refused to bring out their wrappers to protect and save someone and tried to stop someone else who was willing to bring out hers.

What do these wrappers signify? To me they mean protection, solidarity, sisterhood, empathy, kindness, compassion and dutyall those things and more that make us human beings. In the market places where the scene I described in Uganda happens, there is an unspoken protocol amongst the women – a responsibility to take care of one of their own who needs them- She is in pain, afraid but she has sisters around her, rooting for her and helping her.

So, I ask us my dear sisters, where is your wrapper? Where is your wrapper to shield and protect other women and girls who need you? Where was your wrapper for the little girl who was molested by someone in your household and you said ‘Shhhhh’ and looked the other way? Where was your wrapper when someone you know said she was raped by someone she trusted?

Did you ask her what she was wearing or if she seduced him?

Where was your wrapper when your friend needed succour from 4

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WR AP P ER ?

an abusive husband? Did you gossip behind her back that “it served her right, she is too arrogant?”

Where was your wrapper when your sister or daughter told you that her lecturers were harassing her in the University? Did you tell them that they must have done something to encourage that? Where was your wrapper when a young woman who could have been your own sister, daughter or niece was found on the streets naked? Were you one of the women who stood by and recorded her misery and threw things at her? Were you one of the men who tried to stop brave Keira from helping? What was in it for you to have a very sick woman die untended in broad daylight, with human beings baying for her blood like animals?

Even animals care more for their own.

Our wrappers might all look different, with varying sizes, shapes and colours, but every one of us has a wrapper. Bring that wrapper out to shield another woman, or a man. Use it to help get her a contract, help with her rent, pay her children’s fees, help her with capital for a business or simply a discreet shoulder to cry on. Never let a day go by without bringing out that wrapper.

The way God works is that the more wrappers you bring out for others, the more that will come out for you. We don’t only need wrappers when we celebrate and buy Aso Ebi; we need the wrappers for our trials and tribulations and we all have them.

The women in the market place might never see the woman they helped again, she might never be able to say thank you, but she will never forget that other women stood by her and gave her dignity and covered her nakedness. Are we prepared to cover the nakedness of others, or do we want to be part of the mob that strips them naked?

These days, there seems to be a war against women. Not only is sexual violence at an all time high, these crimes are now committed in full view of the public. A young woman is accused of stealing and stripped naked, hands all over her and objects being stuck into her. When this happens, what do we do? Do we look the other way? When a woman is being harassed online, do we join in the abuse? The more wrappers we bring out, the safer we will all be. There is another conversation to be had with the men, with our male leaders, with those who have the powers and privileges that weaken our agency and make us forget that we have wrappers in the first place. Today, we are talking to and about ourselves.

Let us all agree to bring out our beautiful, strong, diverse wrappers- Our wrappers of respect, love, dignity, support and endless hope.

Thank you for bringing out your wrapper Keira.

God bless us all.

This is an expanded version of a brief speech that was given at the ARISE Women’s Conference in Lagos, October 26th, 2019.

Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Social Entrepreneur and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She is currently the 1st Lady of Ekiti State.

She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com

Showing the way the truth and the Life...john 14:6

W H AT

OTHERS DO NOT KNOW

BY KUNLE FAKULUJO

S

he wakes up to an empty lonely bed, prays alone, takes her bath all alone and dresses up alone; no one to tell her how beautiful she looks or what fashion error she has made; she cooks and eats breakfast alone, enters her car and drives to work alone; all through work not a single love phone call nor love greeting texts.

She comes back to meet an empty house, no one to share her day at work with, no one to laugh or even have sweet quarrels with; no one to counsel, advice, reproof or encourage her. She makes dinner alone, watches the TV all alone- changing from one channel to the other hoping someone is there to tell her ....”Hey stop now! I’m watching that channel you changed just now.”- Just an empty house; just an empty world.

She is working and making money but no one to spend the money with her- In the supermall she sees other ladies of her age buying and wrapping gifts; ..If only she too has someone to spend her money on ...yet no one genuine ...all those that have come to her thus far are liars and deceivers.

She fights the tears welling up her eyes as she pays for her groceries and toiletries that only her will use, eat and drink ...If only she has just one friend waiting for her in the car to drive her to the movies after shopping...

This might be the picture of not only the unmarried but even the married who are not married to their friends but married to an unfriendly stranger - for we have many who are married but remain single.

This is the worst- married, yet living single; having a wife or husband who does not talk with you or to you in the same house under the same roof. When having your bath, you look at the ring on your finger and ask “what is the essence?” “Does this ring still have any meaning?” “What is the usefulness of the vows taken?” “What is the meaning to life?” Then under the shower there and then, the tears once again flow freely.

“It’s been over a year since we had sex together “, you whisper in your heart as the soap slides freely down your body- your rich in melanin body. “Ain’t I beautiful enough?” “Am I a log of wood?” “Who have I offended?” “Is my marriage for sex toys only?” “Why should I live the life of a widow when my uncaring husband is still alive?”

Even many men are dying slowly from loneliness- buried in a false lifestyle of alcoholism, night clubbing, hanging out with noise makers who were never friends, partying ...only to always return home to the cold arms of a lonely house, a house not a home (for a home is warm with a friend in it); a house so tastefully furnished yet with the quietness and loneliness of the grave. ,,,He returns back home to a nagging, cursing and abusive wife- one with the fury of hell (the house is always hot).

“What have I done again ...I give her everything....yet this is all I get?” She never sees any good in him. She just discovered she really never loved him since she reunited back with her first love in Secondary School, in the Class Alumni WhatsApp group. How can the flames of love of over 25years after writing WAEC and leaving

school, burn again? Her first love and soul mate- though he too is married with kids, yet the flames vehemently burn as if it were the first valentine they shared over 2 decades ago. Now she is not sure if she wants to continue with her marriage; she is confused ...she has started having sex with her first love- it’s been 4 times now in different hotels.

She knows it’s wrong yet it feels right; it’s killing her and destroying her home and yet it seems the right thing to do.

Back in the office, the Secretary notices his sorrow written all over his face. He knows he has lost his wife, no doubt but to who and to what? He can’t lay his hands on any clue. “Why does she hate me so suddenly....what have I done?

“Sir, please do not be mad at me“ says his office secretary as she jolted him out of his deep thoughts.

“Sir, I noticed you haven’t been responsive to your appointments and documents that require your signature lately. Can you share with me what the problem is sir?”

He looks at her ....though she’s been working with him for just 8months but for the first time, he notices the slim and tall figure; her hips and curves like half calabash glued to each sides of her body, upper laps, well-carved bosom with two full moons that carry audacity on her chest. He looked at her from his desk.

Her green leaf-coloured, tight-fitted tube dress that gave her body a pencil- like drawing structure- a model drawn on a drawing sheet, a sketching of a dress designer.

His eyes reddened with tears he cried while driving to work; then he smiled at her. She smiled back ...lovely strawberry lips she has; cat eyes and pointed nose. He finally found his voice.

“Oh! I’m sorry....eeermmm .. Can we talk over this tonight? Do you care for dinner with me?” His heart was filled with the thought of “hmm! why not kill my sorrow with this one ...she’s been very nice to me more than the woman I married at home; .though I wished I wouldn’t have to go through this route but if I don’t drink, how else shall I be comforted?”

She smiled again “Why not sir? I will be glad to share a meal with you sir.”

And that’s how she became what many call a side chick ...his wife drove him into her arms.

It’s a wicked world out there- a world of many battles but one war; a world for the strong, the valiant and the untamed.

Never think you are alone ...men and women may forsake you but God is with you.

May this year kill loneliness in all lives!

May the unmarried be married!

May the married but lonely receive mercy and a new beginning according to God’s will in Jesus’ precious name, Amen,

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» Star Influence

Seyi

of our Time

ALESHINLOYE

1.

Shall we start by knowing your background, full names, family and your history please ?

2.

How did you get into music, and why gospel music, not secular music?

Hi. My name is Seyi Aleshinloye, popularly known as Seyi Alesh. I’m from a family of six children and I’m the fifth child- that is the second to the last child. I was born in Lagos but originally from Kwara State, Omupo, to be precise.

I did most of my schooling back in Kwara State but was always in Lagos for the holidays but when I finished secondary school, I moved to Lagos fully to join my parents.

I was with my grandmother back in Kwara State then.

So, when I was done, I moved straight to Lagos. And that’s how it started.

I’ve always been around music anyway. I’ve always loved music. Music has always been part of my journey.

How did I get into music? Like I said earlier, music has always been part of me; my mum was a choir mistress, my elder brother sings my sisters, they also sing.

I’ve always been around music- in church, we sang every time, and we usually followed my mum to rehearsals. I

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Showing the way the truth and the Life...john 14:6

ined the Boy’s Brigade back in Kwara State where I used to play the trumpet a little bit, I played the drums and every musical instruments. I joined the main choir when I was like 8 or 9years old I think. I used to sing with them, learning along and trying to just understand what they did. Gradually, I found myself being in music full time too which is a long story.

Why gospel music? I love God so much, I love to worship Him and I love to use my gift for Him. I studied music at school but I chose to use my gift in the house of God. God called me into what I do. I do music as a ministry and as a profession, so I do it professionally. That’s the only job I do and God has been so good. So yeah, gospel music all the way!

3.

What are your musical achievements like albums produced, places music has taken you and concerts done?

Response: What are my musical achievements? Yeah, by the grace of God, I’ve done two albums and I’m working on the third one presently. I started my concert in 2012. I did one in 2012 and one in 2013. I took it to Nigeria in 2014, I did one in 2015 in Euston, and then I put a pause on it because I believed there is something more that God wants me to do, so I stopped for like 2 years. We did one this year after I changed the scope of things and called it ‘Seyi Alesh Live.’

It was a powerful one; it was a major achievement and we thank God for that- for that breakthrough, for that opportunity and for that blessing.

Yeah, I’ve travelled a lot. I’ve been to South Africa, I’ve been to the U. K and I’ve been to a lot of states in the U.S. Back in Nigeria, I was everywhere- for like 4 or 5years, I played with Pastor Kunle Ajayi, for another 4 or 5years, I was with Sammie Okposo. I’ve played with Tope Alabi, I’ve been on the stage with a lot of known artistes. When I was with Sammie Okposo, I was always on the stage with all these known artistes. I’ve been on the same flyer with Don Moen, I’ve been on the same flyer with a lot of African artistes, I’ve been at an event where I ministered and Paula White was there too to minister. I was at an event where William McDowell was to minister and I was also there to minister. I’ve been on a lot of great platforms and God has been so good. Yeah I’ve done a lot of concerts with people and I’ve done my own concerts too as I said before.

Please, tell us about your amazingly gorgeous

who also thrives in the music ministry.

4. wife Wow! Yeah I love to talk about this! - “tell us about

your amazingly gorgeous wife who also thrives in the music ministry.”

My wife, her name is Adetomi Oluseyi Aleshinloye. We are actually have the same name- she’s also called ‘Seyi’ which is her middle name. Yeah! I love her so much. She’s a beautiful, highly gifted person. She’s a writer, a preacher, a rapper, a song writer and a producer. She’s a piano player, she loves music so much and she’s a singer.

She’s doing really well and I really thank God for her ministry. I really thank God for everything that God has been doing for her. God has been so good, God has been so faithful with His covenant upon her life and that means a lot to me. I really thank God for that.

Yeah she’s started having her concert which is called ‘BOW’ –Bringing Our Worship. We’ve done two and we’re working on the third one. Actually we’ve done four; wow!

Thank you Jesus! We started in Dallas, we’ve done two in Euston and the next one is on September 7 this year.

Indeed God has been so good to us. She’s very highly gifted. She’s a great song writer and has featured with a lot of artistes. She just did a single called ‘AWAMARIDI’ with Nathanael Bassey. What a great privilege! More to come! There is a lot that God has in stock for her. I’m so happy and privileged to be her husband and we are blessed with two beautiful children- Isaac and Isabella.

Does the fact you both do music make composition, song writing and rehearsals easier at home? Give us a peep into your music itinerary at home please.

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Sincerely, I really love the fact that we’re both doing music.

You know, we don’t have to talk too much before she understands where you’re going, what you’re trying to do or achieve. We both understand each other very well. Even though we’re both doing into music, we still have our differences like in terms of the kind of approach that we put into our music – she’s a singer and I’m a saxophonist. I sing too but not the way she does her own thing. We do rehearsals together at home because in our house we have two different studios in different rooms. Sometimes when she needs to do something privately, maybe she needs to write a song or she wants to be by herself, she goes into one of the studios and I sit in the other studio to do what I need to do. Sometimes we sit down together in the same studio to work together. We’ve been able to work it out because it’s a blessing when you have your spouse doing the same thing as you. We’ve been able to work together as a team; we support each other all the way. When I’m doing my concert, she puts in her best and when she’s doing hers, I put in my best.

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Continued from page 7

Our itinery is really busy: we travel a lot. We’ve been able to manage that with our two children- Isaac and Isabella Aleshinloye. God has been so good, we’ve been able to. Before now, we had our live-in nanny and we have friends and family that are very close to us and sometimes we have to buy tickets for the children if we’re travelling to the same place. Basically, that’s where we are at and God has been good to us.

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Let’s talk about your concerts. What’s the story behind them and what’s the aim?

Yeah! My concert, ‘Seyi Alesh Live,’ I bless God. I started having my concert since 2012 and this year God helped us, we actually rebranded it through the help of the Holy Spirit and a lot of good friends around me and sharing ideas together with me. We’ve been able to achieve something really big and great. The concert we had in May was a powerful one; people came from everywhere. It was a major one. The hall was filled up, people came, enjoyed the concert and everybody was really blessed. We give God the glory for that.

The story behind it started from Los Angeles. I did two of the concerts in Los Angeles, I did one in Nigeria, I did one in Dallas and I’ve done two now in Euston. God has been good and I know that gradually, we’ll be taking it around the world. I believe God that very soon, we’ll be coming to the U.K to have one; we’ll be touring Europe and all Thank God it’s been good. The aim is to reach out to every single soul.

Being a saxophone player, you know it’s an instrument that crosses over on its own. It’s not as difficult as it is for singers to cross over. We’ve been able to express love to people through music. The concert we had cut across the globe. We had Whites, African-Americans, we had Nigerians, non-Nigerians and other nationalities from Africa coming along to be part of it. I mean the aim is to touch the hearts of people; bring people together to worship Yahweh, to worship God.

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I remember vividly when you ministered at late Dr. Myles Munroe’s church and he gave you unparalleled recommendation years back. What makes your music style different, yet keeping the same gospel message?

Yeah: Dr Myles Munroe was a great man, a great leader, an influencer and a wonderful person. I was privileged to know him through one of my Pastors here in the U. S. He was invited and I was also invited to minister. He saw me minister and he said wow! You’re so great and I want you to come to my church and that was it. That was how the relationship started. I’m still benefitting from some of the relationships he connected me with before he died. I really thank God for His life, the time I met him and I really thank God for that great privilege.

My style of music is different because I’m the type that loves to express myself the way I feel musically. I try not to think too much. If there’s a particular way I feel about life, I try to express it in my language. I’m an African guy and I love to play African music a lot. Music is a universal language, so whatever you’re hearing, you still hear the element of me being an African guy- the percussion, the rhythm and the sound fully inside. I give it out the way I receive it. If I receive something that sounds like reggae, hip hop, highlife, afro music, country music; however I receive it i give it out. But you can still hear my sound, my originality in my music; it’s just the compilation of who I am, what I’ve been through in life, where I’ve been what I’ve heard and as I said, I grew up around music.

What are the experiences in your music journey that have left you with long-lasting memories?

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Yeah! My experience with Sammie Okposo; we used to rehearse a lot, we used to do 8

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Showing the way the truth and the Life...john 14:6

RELATIONSHIP

9 SIGNS THAT YOU’RE DATING A PLAYER Have you ever dated a player?

I

t takes two mature individuals to make a relationship work.

Unfortunately for most, there are just a lot of men who take longer than others to mature. Some men go through particular stages in their life before they can ever be ready for a real relationship with another person. For some very select men, they only need minimal experimentation and experience in the field of romance and love before they can become ready for a scorching and heavy relationship. But the vast majority of men will go through a very misogynistic phase of their life wherein they will treat their women as objects and points to be scored in a game.

These men are the players in the dating world. They treat love and romance like a game wherein the winners get to take home women as their prizes. It’s a cruel and downright immature way to go about life, but sadly, it’s the truth for a lot of men. So ladies, do yourself a favour- make sure that you never end up dating a guy who is a player. You are only going to be setting yourself up for severe frustration and disappointment by doing so. You must always ensure that you protect your heart by only dating quality men who are mature and who know how to take care of you.

But it’s always going to be difficult. The players are good at the games that they play. They know how to weaken a girl’s defences and manipulate their way into her heart. That’s why you must always be extra vigilant and try to spot a player early on so that you don’t ever allow yourself to be vulnerable to them.

It’s easier said than done, but once you know the signs, then it won’t be as hard as you would expect. So this article is for you; it’s going to highlight the blatant signs that you need to keep an eye out for. These are the red flags that the guy that you’re dating is a player, and you should probably dump him.

1. He still regularly goes out clubbing and bar-hopping even if you’re not there.

It’s one thing for him to always want to go out clubbing and to party with you. He’s eventually going to have to grow out of that phase. But if he keeps on doing it without you, then it means he’s probably still playing the field.

2. He only ever agrees to date you on particular days of the week.

The only way a man could ever juggle multiple girls at once is if he manages to develop a sort of routine to keep them all happy. If he only agrees to see you on particular days of the week, it may be because his other days are reserved for other girls.

3. He will dodge any questions or discussions about the state of your relationship.

He will not want to talk about your relationship status. He will not want to talk about labels. He will avoid having these kinds of discussions with you because you might then realize that he’s not all that serious about you.

4. He has a reputation for being a player.

If he has a reputation for playing around, then that might be a massive indication that he’s also just playing with you. Always be suspicious of men who have reputations for playing the field often.

5. He surrounds himself with friends who are also players.

“You are the company that you keep.” If a lot of his friends are going to be players, then the chances are that their personalities will also rub off on him. You better make sure that he surrounds himself with better people.

6. His social media activity is sketchy.

He likes the photos of a particular girl; he is always commenting on the images of specific women; then you have to consider the possibility that they may be more than just friends.

7. He is inconsistent in his love and affection for you.

A man who is seriously in love with you would always try his best to give off a sense of stability and consistency in his relationship with you. But if you can’t seem to ever rely on him to be there for you a hundred percent of the time, it may be because his attention is divided.

8. He doesn’t make an effort to get to know your friends and family.

He doesn’t want to make you think that things are getting serious. And frankly, he won’t have the time to establish new relationships with your social circle. He would be too busy juggling his women.

9. He treats you like an object.

Lastly, if he only ever treats you like an object of pleasure, then he doesn’t love you. He only wants you when it suits him, and he isn’t in it for love.

David’s Camp Magazine

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MENTAL HEALTH

BY DR. MARGARET RUTHERFORD

When Tragedy Happens:

HOW TO FIGHT HELPLESSNESS A

horrible accident happened this week in my hometown of Fayetteville, Arkansas. Not all of the details are known, especially not the “why.” But a young police officer was murdered while sitting in his patrol car at the back of the station, preparing for his late night shift and waiting for his partner.

This happened not up to two blocks from our cosy little town’s downtown square, where people were with their kids, gazing upward at holiday lights, riding ponies and drinking hot chocolate. The businesses quickly opened their doors and let extremely frightened and panicked people into safety.

The assailant ran, shooting at other police officers who had immediately spilled out of the station. He was killed as he bolted towards the square. What we can surmise from the facts we do have...He was planning a massacre.

The police officer, a 27-year old man named Stephen Carr, has been honored this week. Thousands of people lined the streets as the funeral procession slowly proceeded, or they attended his service at the local university basketball arena. It was senseless and shocking but we are going through what so many other communities have had to face- An incredible sense of vulnerability, fear and anger.

I’m a psychologist, a therapist. So my message isn’t a political one. My words are for anyone who may be overwhelmed with fear, or a sense of helplessness or hopelessness. I’ve seen several people this week whose sessions have revolved around what happened, and how it’s affecting them. My own eyes have filled with tears more than once, as I read more details about how our community was coming together to mourn and lend support where we can.

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David’s Camp Magazine

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But I’ll relay what I’ve learned from so many people who’ve faced senseless crime and abuse in their own lives. You have to allow yourself to feel, connect with the emotions that will be unique to you. Seek help and comfort when you need it. Come together with others who are willing to demonstrate their own feelings and find support and reassurance there. If you’re struggling with nightmares or flashbacks, a deepened depression or heightened anxiety, please seek help. This can happen especially if you have violence in your past. It’s called being triggered.

And it can happen far more easily than you might think.

Then look for what you can do. Whether that’s an act of kindness or caring, or joining a peaceful group seeking change, or doing something for the people who take incredible risks every day to protect others — then do it. One small kindness may not seem to make a difference. But it does.

If you stay afraid or if your actions are governed by hatred, nothing will change for the better.

I went to the square yesterday afternoon and walked around, realizing that the horror of what had happened could’ve been even more devastating. For so many, Officer Stephen Carr will always remain a hero in this community’s eyes. The shots that killed him, because they provoked such an immediate police response, saved more lives. I grieve that we cannot thank him for his service.

But we can do that for the many others that serve, as well as those that are fighting in any way to create safety.

Continued from page 8

Showing the way the truth and the Life...john 14:6

rehearsals round the clock. I can never forget those experiences. That has really helped me a lot to be diligent with my instrument as I still rehearse a lot. Also, my experience with Pastor Kunle Ajayi– we used to go to Camp and pray. I can remember the first Fridays and other events inside the camp- it was a spiritual journey for me with him. I can never forget those experiences and part of my own personal experiences travelling around. I can never forget the experience and the opportunity that brought me to the US. I went to a church to minister. This is a different story entirely, maybe I’ll need a full page to tell the story of my testimony of how I found myself where I am today, I can never forget how I met the man. I was invited to this Church with almost no payment to come but God rewarded my effort. Here I am, I got a visa through the Pastor and here I am today, met my wife during my journey and I’m here today by the grace of God, doing wonderfully well.

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What are your future plans in music if Jesus delays His 2nd coming?

I have a lot of plans. I want my concerts taking the whole of the Stadium, bringing people from all over the world to worship Jesus- to enjoy good music. I want to touch souls, to touch lives; i want my sound to heal the sick and raise the dead. I really want it to perform wonders. I have plans to have my concerts all over the world, travel around the world, be a blessing to millions of people in the name of Jesus, Those are my heart desires. I also want to impact a lot of young ones, teach them music, have a musical school where people can learn; not just learning music but also learning the business- just to give opportunity to people, be a blessing to people and put a smile on people’s faces. These are my future plans and to keep doing what I’m doing with God unravelling different ideas for us to be able to move it to the next level.

What would be your pieces of advice to upcoming young saxophonists, musicians and artistes?

Also, a word to lovers of your music all over the world who follow you and your music.

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My major advice to the upcoming; please, no matter how good you are, no matter how successful your journey is becoming, please stay humble. Don’t be full of yourself, don’t be arrogant, don’t insult the older ones please- that’s my advice for you. Be humble and keep doing what you do. Never stop learning, never stop improving yourself, seize every opportunity and don’t leave any stone unturned. Relate with people, ask questions, be a blessing, don’t call people your mentor just to take from them but serve people.

The lovers of my music out there, I appreciate you all. You keep on supporting us because without you guys we can’t really do anything, without you guys we can’t be who we are, without the audience who are we playing the music to? Nobody! So we really appreciate you guys. Tell everybody to keep listening to positive music, there’s power in music. The way you accept music determines what you’ve got inside of you. You have to be able to listen to positive music, something impactful, something that will be a blessing to you, something that you can let your children listen to. Listen to positive music, there’s a lot of junks out there. Pick your kind of music with sincerity, don’t lie to yourself, and don’t listen to bad music that will corrupt your heart and your soul. Listen to positive music.

There is lots of good music out there. As I said, my wife is a graceful writer. There are other ministers, even a lot of artistes out there that are not necessarily in church; they have positive sounds. Listen to good music but majorly, read your bible.

David’s Camp Magazine

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A Surprising Way To Help Your New Year’s Resolution Stick

I

t’s that time of the year when people are talking about New Year’s resolutions.

You search with renewed determination to change behaviours that make you unhappy; maybe you’re successful and this will be the year that you’ll maintain that resolve. If so, that’s wonderful.

But if February rolls in and you slip back into your old habits, then you’re likely to struggle with shame. You have one more reason (or at least so you tell yourself) to beat yourself up. Once more, you tried and you failed.

These thoughts are not only unhelpful, but they are damaging.

Change that’s set up for success cannot begin with hatred or self-loathing. You need a more positive context. What do I mean by that? You have to accept yourself for where you are and understand the difficulty of change, Three steps to set up the chance of successful change: Firstly, accept, don’t deny.

This may seem contradictory at first. How can you accept yourself exactly as you are if your goal is to change? However, consider this: you haven’t denied that you have a problem, which is a huge step right there. It’s denial that keeps people stuck because they don’t define a problem as a problem; and so nothing happens.

The first step is assessing yourself, just the way you are. It’s from that stance that you can begin to chisel into yourself for a change.

Secondly, be compassionate to yourself — don’t add hate or shame to the mix.

So you’ve accepted you have a problem. You have looked at it squarely in the eye and decided to do something about it. Congratulate yourself on taking those steps while reminding your-

self that changing behaviours and maintaining those changes are no walk in the park. It’s going to take time, effort and understanding when old habits want to creep back in.

This seems simple but folks get acceptance confused with resignation; “No! I can’t accept it. I want to change it. I HAVE to change it. I want it gone!”

Many of the things you want to change about yourself are things you hate or feel ashamed of their presence. And when you hate yourself for the problem or struggle, it actually lends that problem more power. You feel ashamed that you have created the problem or are part of the problem still existing. You feel you’ve been too weak, or you’ve procrastinated, justified, or you’ve been afraid of change.

All of those things make you human.

Thirdly, Take responsibility and make a plan that begins with small steps.

At the same time, whatever has caused the issue, there’s likely some part of it that you need to claim responsibility for; not blame but responsibility and since you’re taking your fair share of responsibility, then you can begin to work within the confines of your situation or your life to take the small steps that will lead you where you want to go.

And if you do it in small steps, then those fears or justifications will be easier to work with, as again, you treat yourself compassionately.

You are worth it. You’re more than worth it. And if you risk change, perhaps this New Year will bring you belief in yourself as you find your courage.

Courage isn’t the lack of fear; it’s going on when you are afraid.

what a pity She gave her car key to the youngest child in the car while she went to buy some stuff in the mall.

remain spiritually connected.

On her return, the boy had misplaced the key and the whole family was stranded on the road.

Don’t lose your children while searching for their school fees.

Observing her discomfort with innocent kids without a masculine shepherd, I joined the search party.

For each passing minute without the key, she landed the boy that had the key a slap or a concentrated curse!

After a few minutes, she strayed in frustration into a motorbike’s way and was knocked down.

Don’t lose your mind because the job is lost.

Don’t lose your ministry while searching for tithes, offerings, first fruits and members.

Don’t lose your mantle while searching for title.

When you eventually discover or acquire those things, greater things (your life, relationships, character, values & virtues) would have probably dissolved!

She had already lost herself before the key was found!

The apostles were looking for peace in the midst of a storm, but by the time Jesus restored calmness, they had lost their faith just as Elimelech lost his life and sons in search of greener pastures.

Many people lose themselves in search of what is missing in their lives.

When you eventually get the hammer, will your nail still be strong to hold the woods of your integrity in a frame?

Many lose their moral limb while searching for the “missing rib!”

Some lose their health while searching for material wealth.

By the time you become popular, would you not be strange to dignity?

I know those who lost their message while searching for relevance and sponsors.

By the time you get the visa or fame, would your passport to purity not have torn?

Some lose their marriage while searching for a mirage.

When you eventually make the money, would your marriage, friendship and relationships still have meaning?

In the process of helping her up and picking the pieces of her belongings, the car key was found but she was dead.

Some have lost their integrity while looking for affinity.

Don’t get missing because something was lost. Sometimes, you just need to ignore the emotional missing link so you can

God bless you as you ponder on this.