2019 Bridal Guide

Bride HERE COMES THE

YOUR GUIDE TO THE WEDDING OF YOUR DREAMS

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FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019 SECTION B

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

Bridal bash does not have to break bank

By TERESA CURTO Creators.com Just a few years ago, the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. rang in at $35,329, according to the wedding experts at The Knot. For many, weddings have long left the realm of a simple ceremony with a modest sit-down meal to follow.

Instead, many couples choose to host a full-day event filled with personalized decorative touches, activities and foods as family and friends gather to celebrate their new union. Fortunately, for those who are recently engaged and looking to tie the knot without breaking the bank, there are many ways to enjoy an affordable yet admirable wedding day.

Beyond hearing the exchange of vows and declarations of “I do,” perhaps the most anticipated part of being a guest at a wedding is the food. And hiring a caterer for appetizers, dinner and dessert can be one of biggest expenses. However, There are many economical ways to approach the culinary portion of the wedding day. Even if choosing to hire a traditional caterer, hosting a daytime reception can save couples thousands. For the truly frugal couple, there are many brunch or lunch meal ideas that can be prepared with help from willing family and friends that will both satisfy hungry guests and keep food costs low.

A waffle or pancake bar, bagels, sandwiches with cold-cut selections and pasta are all economical and tasty options that are not too labor intensive.

For dessert, couples needn’t spend $500 on a wedding cake — the average amount reported by Wedding Wire. There are many trendy possibilities. For those who are crafty, creating a “doughnut wall” can be an affordable way to indulge every sweet tooth in attendance. Doughnuts can be purchased in bulk from a local doughnut shop for far less than it costs to have a cake prepared and then attractively displayed on pegs for

Effective communication leading up to your wedding — and in marriage — will benefit you and your new spouse.

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guests to see and choose from.

Dessert bars have also reigned supreme as an alternative to cake for years. Homemade cupcakes, brownies and cookies can be prepared in advance and guests will love having options.

Flowers are rightfully adored, and shouldn’t be skipped for the sake of a small budget. The easiest way to slash any floral budget is to purchase and arrange the flow-

ers with the help of family and friends. Many wholesale or bulk stores, such as Costco or Sam’s Club, offer great deals on flowers, which can be ordered in large volume. Couples can also find great deals at farmers markets. Those with little familiarity with flower arrangement may look to a professional for the bouquets or boutonnieres, as they require a little more craft and savvy.

It has become popular to offer activities to help guests fill downtime during the day, such as when guests wait for the couple to take photos after the ceremony. However, many popular choices, such as a photobooth or a caricature artist, can be costly. There are a few, more frugal ways to help guests have fun as they wait. Placing disposable cameras at each table is an exciting way for couples to see

their wedding day from the points of view of their guests. To provide a memento, couples can have a Polaroid camera available for guests to use. A firepit with a s’mores bar is another affordable and delicious way that attendees can be entertained throughout the night.

Using these tips, having the wedding of their dreams isn’t out of reach for any couple, no matter the size of their budget.

Financial know-how makes honeymoon even sweeter

By MARY HUNT Creators.com When planning their wedding and their new life with the one they love, most people don’t think about how marriage might affect their credit. Will your spouse’s credit affect yours, or vice versa?

Will you be responsible for his student debt? Will your bankruptcy pull down his credit score?

Dear Mary: I’ll be getting married in a few weeks. I have excellent credit; my FICO score is 820. My fiancé, not so much.

She has pretty bad credit and even filed for bankruptcy two years ago. Will her poor credit hurt my credit score once we are married? — Travis Dear Travis: Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Fortunately, your fiancé’s credit history will have no impact on your credit profile once you’re married.

Information will only be shared on both of your credit reports if and when you apply for credit as joint account holders or you add her as an authorized user or account holder on your credit card accounts. However, when you want to buy a home together, if you need both of your incomes to qualify for the mortgage and you apply jointly, her negative credit history will impact your mortgage rates. It will be important for you to work together to improve her bad credit score. I wish you both a

lifetime of joy and happiness.

Dear Mary: My husband and I do not have, nor have we ever had, joint credit with the exception of one mortgage on which we are joint tenants. How does that one joint mortgage with a bank affect our individual credit reports? Does all of his credit history now show up on my credit report, and will my credit history show up on his?

— Emily Dear Emily: Only joint accounts and accounts on which you are an authorized user will show up on your credit report. However, your state laws may have a different take on whether or not you could be held liable for each other’s debts. Some states have community property laws that might hold you responsible for your husband’s debts even though you are not on the account. You would need to

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check with an attorney on that.

Interestingly, FICO announced in 2007 that it would no longer recognize authorized users in the credit scoring process. However, that decision was reversed in 2008.

Anyone who is an authorized user on another’s credit card account needs to know that all of the credit information on that account will be reported -- not just positive data. If the account owner misses a payment or pays late, that negative information will be reported to your credit file, as well.

I’m reminded of one reader who wrote that he was an authorized user on his mother’s credit card account, simply so he could pay for her needs in her last years.

She died and left a huge balance with numerous over-limit penalties and late fees. He was shocked to discover that all of the negative information was being reported to his credit file. In the end, he was not

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responsible for the balance due and the account was written off, as she left no assets. But all of the negative information will be reported to his credit file for seven years from

the date the account was written off. He has no recourse because the information being reported is true, albeit devastating. Authorized usage has its pitfalls.

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 3

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Destination weddings are best kept small and intimate.

Navigating nuptials in distant destinations

By SIMONE SLYKHOUS Creators.com The path from “Yes!” to “I do!” can be long and winding. And if you’re planning on having a destination wedding, it’s as much a metaphorical journey as it is a physical one. Accessibility, being mindful of your guests and a local support team will ensure that there’s ease and enjoyment all the way through.

The first and perhaps biggest decision is where to have your wedding. Are you looking for a beachside getaway, a windswept moor, a glamorous ancient castle or a rugged jungle adventure?

One factor to consider is seasons.

In tropical locations, for example, the weather can turn at the drop of a hat. For Thailand, the rainiest time of year is typically August to October. For Hawaii, the rainy season is usually between November and March. Hurricane season for the Gulf states and the Atlantic is between June and November. And though a winter wedding in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, might sound idyllic, with one airport in town, a large snowstorm could leave guests unable to arrive.

Consider the accessibility of your location, too. A plane ride away is very different from a plane ride, a train ride and a three-hour bus ride. Do any of your guests have limited mobility? Check with hotels and local vendors to make sure your guests will be able to access the ceremony, reception and other wedding activities.

Once your date and location are decided, let your guests know far in advance. According to Tra-

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cy French, owner of The French Connection Events, save the date cards for destination weddings should be sent nine to 12 months in advance. Allowing for a longer window can help guests with planning their trips, and it will help you know exactly how many guests to expect. Depending on the size of the wedding party and guest list, there’s a possibility you can get group discounts on hotels or travel accommodations as well.

It’s ideal to visit your location before you book to see everything firsthand. The wedding experts at The Knot recommend taking a few planning trips to scout the locations and local vendors, and perhaps meet with a local wedding planner. Though Skype, FaceTime and other video conferencing software is great for communication, especially if there are no language barriers or issues with internet connection, seeing everything with your own eyes allows little room for

surprises. It would be a huge disappointment to arrive a few days before the wedding and see massive construction happening next door, or that an algae outbreak has covered the beach on which you had hoped to be married.

Hiring a local wedding planner might be the biggest blessing for your big day. Many all-inclusive resorts have day-of planners or recommendations for trusted planners. According to wedding planner Jamie Bohlin, owner of Cape Cod Celebrations, planners take the stress out of organizing details, and they “also have huge vendor lists and can assist you in finding the perfect setting for your ceremony, a photographer that fits your style, a florist that will work with your budget and so much more.” In case of emergencies, a planner who lives in your wedding location will give you insider knowledge and, say, help you avoid the headache of canceling vendors from around

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the globe. Marriage requirements vary state to state and country to country, so local planners will also know local regulations. Find out what you need, and be sure to have all your paperwork completed early to avoid legal snags.

If you’re planning on shipping decor or personal items to your location beforehand, a local wedding planner can start organizing early. If it’s important that you use your great-aunt’s handstitched tablecloth, Catherine Cindy Leo of CCL Weddings and Events recommends shipping it to the destination two to three weeks prior. “This gives ample time for delivery without paying ridiculous costs in shipping and ... for inspection on the other end, in case anything does break or become damaged,” she says.

Arrive a few days before your wedding so you have time to tie up loose ends and prepare some hospitable touches for guests

who’ve traveled long distances to celebrate with you. Consider having welcome bags waiting when they arrive, filled with snacks, maps, itineraries and other fun add-ins that are relevant to the location. If the heat is overbearing, perhaps a hand fan would be a nice treat. For a snowy soiree, hand warmers could be helpful.

Is the rehearsal dinner going to be a big party? Throw in some ibuprofen packets. Are the Wi-Fi instructions unclear? Add a simple how-to list to keep everyone connected.

The biggest tip for having a successful destination wedding?

Relax. “Your energy as the bride is going to influence the energy of your guests,” says Alison Hotchkiss, an events planner who spoke with Martha Stewart Weddings about destination wedding tips.

“If you are relaxed, your guests will be relaxed. Things might not go as planned, and if that happens, stay calm and carry on.”

PAGE 4 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

Etiquette guide for wonderful wedding presents

By NICOLA BRIDGES Creators.com What to gift the bride and groom can be a conundrum for wedding guests — whether close friends, work colleagues or distant relatives. According to The Knot, a wedding planning website, nearly half of wedding guests report needing help with gifting etiquette. But thankfully, there are guidelines to help you decide whether you should buy a $20 toaster or a $400 mouth-blown lead crystal Tiffany vase.

The notion of “gifting the plate” — spending the equivalent of the cost per person the “soonlyweds” are spending on their wedding — has been a popular guideline in the past. But that’s no longer the case, as there are many variables consider — especially, how much it’s costing the guest to attend the wedding.

“A guest should never spend more than they feel comfortable spending on a gift, and they should ditch the myth of paying for their plate. Just because your friend’s having a casual wedding doesn’t mean you can gift less — after all, your gift isn’t a payment for your meal! So scrap the price-per-plate calculation and give a gift based on your relationship with the couple,” recommends Ivy Jacobson, a senior digital editor at The Knot.

The team at The Knot recommends spending $75 to $100 on gifts for distant relatives and coworkers, $100 to $125 for relatives’ and friends’ weddings and $125 to $200 or more if the wedding is for a close relative or close friend — and no less than $50.

Beyond relationship to the happy couple, the most common considerations guests make when deciding how much to spend are the financial status of the couple, how many of the couple’s other wedding events they’re attending (engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties) and if they’re paying for travel and ac-

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As many tips as there are for picking the “right” wedding gift, it comes down to your personal relationship and your budget. commodations for the wedding celebration.

In fact, says Jacobson, the location of the wedding and cost of travel and accommodations are top factors wedding guests consider before even RSVPing to a wedding, and for good reason. Travel and accommodation costs can quickly add up, with the average guest spending $300 on travel and another $235 on accommodations, according to The Knot’s most recent Wedding Guest Study.

“Couples understand this, which is why many opt to host their wedding in one of their hometowns rather than where they are currently living,” says Jacobson. “And when it comes to destination weddings in far-off locales like Hawaii or the Caribbean, couples may ask guests to forgo a gift as their presence at their celebration is enough.”

So when it comes to what to

buy, should guests stick to the couple’s gift registry or is it OK to go off the registry and buy something different or unique? The Knot has a firm view.

“Couples spend hours putting together a thoughtfully curated registry that’s truly a reflection of their style, personalities, goals and who they are together,” explains Jacobson. “Because of this, we always recommend guests stick to the registry, because it truly reflects what the couple wants and needs to start their newlywed life together.”

Today, 9 in 10 soonlyweds create a registry of about 125 items and may even have multiple registries, covering everything from traditional household items to hiking gear to workout classes to couples experiences, which offers guests a large array of gifting options.

But if you don’t want to buy

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from a registry, then cash is king — and there are even registries for that. They’re becoming increasingly popular due to the very nature of helping the happy couple raise funds for specific things that you may not be able to purchase in a store and have gift-wrapped.

“Money-based registries allow couples to ask for cash in a more meaningful way,” says Jacobson, “by specifying exactly what each monetary gift is going towards.

For example, a honeymoon fund, saving for a new house, a new car, IVF treatments, a puppy or a lifetime supply of Sriracha!”

According to The Knot, among those with cash registries, 49 percent of couples used their cash registry contributions to help pay for their honeymoon, and 27 percent used them toward a down payment on a home. Interestingly, Jacobson points out, couples who attend a wedding within a year of their own celebration are also most likely to make a honeymoon or cash registry contribution as their wedding gift.

Charity registries are also becoming popular as a way for couples to personalize their wedding registries and give back to a charity close to their heart, either through direct donations or by registering for items from which a percentage of the purchase proceeds supports a certain cause.

Ultimately, gift-giving is not a competition, and guidelines just give an idea of spending parameters and different ways to give.

It all comes down to how special the soonlyweds are to you, what you can afford and how much you want to splurge.

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 5

Say ‘I do’ to planet with earth-friendly wedding

By CHELLE CORDERO Creators.com If you’re getting married this year, get a head start on an eternity of happiness by helping preserve the world you live in. An environmentally conscious wedding treats Mother Earth like she’s a special guest. Simple swaps for everything from invitations, to florals, to dresses, to food make it easy and affordable to make the wedding of your dreams a little more green.

According to the Going Zero Waste website, the average wedding results in over 400 pounds of trash. Wedding planner Ashley Chamblin has seen plenty of wasteful weddings. “There are three major areas where we see waste in the event industry: flowers, food, and paper,” she is quoted as saying on the Mind Body Green wellness website. “And there’s actually a lot you can do about each.”

While snail mail paper invitations (ideally made of recycled paper) are traditional, there are more environmentally friendly ways to disseminate information to your guests. It is permissible to email save the dates. Another recommendation is building a wedding website via The Knot, Squarespace, Wix or Riley & Grey that includes the invitation, your personal couple story, information on hotel reservations and your wedding registry.

You can password-protect it so only your invited guests have this information. Not only will you save trees but you will also streamline communication, save money on stationary, and avoid hours of licking stamps and printing labels.

A big opportunity to green your wedding is location, location, location. Choose one that is convenient for most of your bridal party and guests, instead of a faraway destination that will force people to fly and drive long distances. Think about getting married in the great outdoors, where the most energy you’ll use is the sun and gentle breezes. And with a beautiful backdrop of fields and flowers, your decorations will nearly be done. If this is a public site, you’ll need permission, or possibly a permit. For a more intimate outdoor setting, use your own backyard or that of a family member instead. Just start manicuring the lawn and planting decorative plants as early as possible. In either a public or private environment, you’ll need seats for your guests, restrooms and an alternative indoor site in case of inclement weather.

Enroll the venue and catering service into creating the least amount of food waste possible at the reception. Ask whether they can avoid single-use plates, glassware and implements. Locally grown foods should be featured, which will help cut emissions from food transport and support local farmers. Ideally, they can serve foods that only require minimal cooking and heating or none at all.

If the former, look for low-energy methods. Lastly, coordinate ahead

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Weddings in the great outdoors invite Mother Earth as a special guest and reduce environmental impact. of time to donate leftovers to a local food bank or shelter. So long as your vision is shared in the early planning stages, arrangements should easily be made.

When looking at venues for your special day, don’t be shy; ask management about the commitment to using sustainable decorations and locally sourced food. Use natural materials for centerpieces, such as stones, shells and potted plants that can be transferred to a garden. Other decorations that can reused, like candles and vases, will lessen waste. Send your guests home with any of these decorations, as well as something natural like seed packets for party favors.

A common wedding woe is only wearing your outfit one time. The Good Trade digital media and lifestyle brand offers a staff guide to green wedding dresses, saying: “choosing a made-to-order design with high quality natural fabrics

will only result in a dress you wholeheartedly adore. And for those who are less attached to their dresses, secondhand shopping and rental services are an excellent option!” Reformation and Wear Your Love have ethically made designs, and sites like Rent the Runway have beautiful pre-used designer dresses for rent. Purchased dresses can be re-sold or donated to charities that provide wedding gowns to brides in need, such as those in hurricane areas.

Choose locally grown flowers for your wedding bouquet, bridal party flowers and boutonnieres; or even better, create bouquets of paper flowers or leafy vegetables.

Wedding jewelry should be chosen with care to avoid things like conflict diamonds, ivory and coral jewelry. Bridal party gifts can be eco-friendly as well, such as wood, naturally shed deer antlers and other naturally occurring products. You can be thoughtful about

your bridal party and the environment at the same time.

It’s easy to go green for your big day without sacrificing style.

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

Columnist demystifies wedding dress codes

By ANNIE LANE Creators.com Dear Annie: I recently attended the wedding of a college friend of mine.

In the days preceding the wedding, a buddy of mine asked whether I was going to wear a tuxedo. I told him no, because the invitation said “formal attire.” I interpreted “formal” to mean I should wear a suit, whereas “black tie” would have meant men should wear a tux. We asked our respective wives and decided that “formal” meant suit.

The wedding took place during the summer in Southern California. I wore a trueblue suit, blue shirt and light red linen tie. I thought it was perfect for the venue, time of year and location. My buddy wore something comparable.

However, when we showed up in our suits, we were surprised to see that almost everyone else was wearing tuxes.

Business? Business casual?

Business cool? Formal? Black tie? Black tie optional? Toptional? Is there a council of

ways wear a tuxedo.

■■ If it’s “formal,” a tuxedo or dark suit and tie will do.

■■ “Semiformal” or “cocktail” denotes a suit and tie.

■■ For a “casual” wedding, go with dress pants and a buttondown shirt.

If you’re not sure, err on the side of formal. It’s less embarrassing to be overdressed than it is to be underdressed.

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Don’t let a wedding’s dress code be a mystery. elders who decide what we can wear and when? I am writing to you to get the definitive ruling on ambiguous attire definitions. Feeling underdressed

is the pits. — Dressed to Be Stressed Dear Dressed: Here’s a briefmoverview of what wedding dress codes mean for men:

■■ If the invitation says “white tie,” dress to the nines — with a long black jacket with tails, a white bow tie and a white vest.

■■ To a “black tie” wedding, al-

Dear Annie: Thank you for the very useful list (above) of what a gentleman should wear to a wedding or event based on the dress code listed on the invitation. Could you do the same for women, please? — Mary Lou Dear Mary Lou: If it’s a “white tie” event, dress as if you were headed to the Oscars — with a full-length ballgown and carefully styled hair. For “black tie” outings, go with a long evening gown or an elegant black cocktail dress. If it’s “formal,” stick with a chic cocktail dress or long evening gown. “Semiformal” or “cocktail” means a cocktail dress. For a “casual” wedding, go with a sundress or dressy blouse and skirt. When in doubt, ask the host.

Communication on money key for merging households

By CARRIE SCHWAB-POMERANTZ Creators.com Dear Carrie: My girlfriend and I are both financially stable, and each of us owns our own home. We have decided to move in together and are planning to live in her house.

Could you give us some money management tips on how best to handle our finances at this point in our relationship? — A Reader Dear Reader: Moving in together is a big emotional step. It’s also potentially a big financial step — which can impact a relationship positively or negatively, depending on how open each partner is about money.

In a situation such as yours, in which each partner is financially independent, you may not be too concerned about who’s picking up the tab for dinner, but shared daily living expenses — as well as big issues regarding such things

as mortgages, large purchases, vacations and future plans — could cause problems.

There’s no single recommended way to handle your finances.

The details will vary for each couple. The most important thing is that you agree up front on how to handle them. So before you take your togetherness to the next level, I’d make a date to talk through how financially close you want to be.

Because you’ll be moving in to your girlfriend’s house — and assuming she has a mortgage — the first question is how you’ll contribute to the monthly payment.

Will you initially pay the equivalent of rent? If so, how will you determine what’s fair?

The issue here is that by paying rent, you’re contributing to the mortgage without having any ownership in the property. If you were to continue to live together long-term, at what point would you want a share of ownership?

And what percentage of owner-

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ship? It’s easy as time goes on to say “our house,” but for it to legally belong to both of you, the title needs to be in both of your names.

Otherwise, you could quite literally be left out in the cold should the relationship end.

On your side, what will you do with the house you own? Will you rent it? Sell it? If you sell, you could possibly invest some of the proceeds in your girlfriend’s house, therefore increasing your share of ownership in her home.

There again, the title would have to be legally changed. (Note: If you decide to sell your house, think about completing the sale within the next three years. Otherwise, you would potentially forfeit your homeowner capital gains tax exclusion. Check with your tax adviser for details.)

I’m not trying to make it more complicated than it needs to be, but there’s a lot to think about.

A home is often an individual’s greatest asset, so it’s important for the two of you to agree on these things sooner rather than later.

Living together often means investing in major purchases for your home from time to time — appliances, entertainment systems, furniture. Talk about how you’ll handle these potential costs. Will

you share them equally? Each pay for different items? Again, there’s no right or wrong way to go about it. But it will make it a lot easier when the time comes if you have an idea in advance of how you’ll handle these expenses.

Likewise with such things as entertainment and vacations.

There’s no harm in treating each other, but make sure you have a mutual understanding about the things you want to do. Agree on a savings and costsharing plan so that neither of you always feels obligated to cover for the other.

Sharing a home also means sharing the ongoing costs, such as utilities, cable, internet, cleaning services, groceries — all the daily expenses that can add up quickly.

Figure out how you’ll divide these costs. One approach is to come up with a monthly household budget and then each contribute an equal amount. If one of you earns more than the other, that person could offer to cover a greater percentage of the bills. Once again, the main point is to be fair.

To make things easier for both of you, consider opening a joint account for everyday living expenses. That way, even if one of you is primarily responsible for

handling the bills, each of you has access to the account. A joint account would also allow you to comfortably put certain recurring bills on auto-pay.

In the early days of living together, it’s probably wisest to keep the majority of your finances separate. As your relationship continues or should you marry, you can decide how much you want to share. Some couples — especially those who join their lives when they’re already financially established — set up a “yours, mine and ours” system, allowing them to keep their accumulated assets separate while combining their incomes and sharing expenses.

Down the road, I would also suggest that the two of you meet with a financial adviser. An objective and knowledgeable third party can help you understand your options and create a framework that is fair to both of you.

I’m a firm believer in financial independence for everyone at every stage of life. But that doesn’t mean you can’t work together to achieve your dreams. At this point, take it a step at a time. Just be sure to discuss each step in advance so you know it’s fair to both of you -- and that you’re both headed in the same direction.

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 7

Cheers to cocktails: Personalize your bar options

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com Couples are toasting their wedding with cocktail experiences, showcasing their personalities and tastes, entertaining guests, and providing a memorable moment.

“Weddings can tend to be mundane, and I feel that couples are trying to avoid the dread of guests attending a wedding with bland food and uninspired bar programs,” says Steven Kincade, beverage manager at the Ace Hotel New York’s event space, Liberty Hall.

He says the bar program can make or break a celebration.

That’s why couples are motivated to make the “food amazing and the drinks to a quality you would receive at a cocktail bar or lounge.”

To ensure guests enjoy the party, he suggests that couples serve premium drinks they know their guests like and that they have a favorite distillery or winery at the reception.

Signature drinks, from mai tais to margaritas, have been on the wedding scene for years as a way to keep the bar tab in check and to highlight a drink or two that the newlyweds love. But now signature cocktails are getting a major upgrade.

Hewing Hotel in Minneapolis has seen a rise in requests for next-level his-and-her cocktails.

“Cocktails show a little piece of personality and are also very Instagrammable, another growing trend in weddings,” says Liz Janis, who represents the hotel.

From hand-crafted drinks to wine flights and tequila tastings, it’s more stylish than ever to toast

Custom cocktails While planning the party, request one-on-one time with the event bartender to sample drinks and plan a custom cocktail menu.

“A good mixologist can put together a cocktail tasting, just like a cake tasting before the wedding,” says wedding planner Katherine Frost.

Tell your caterer and venue if you plan to brew your own beer, serve your own wine, etc.

Local laws, as well as rules and regulations at venues, may impact your plans. Permits may be required.

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It’s a personal touch that appeals to couples and their guests, especially the younger crowd.

Alkire says brides and grooms are even renting mobile bars, including vintage trailers, for a retro look and feel.

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Custom cocktails that look and taste great are a staple of modern wedding receptions to impress guests. the newlyweds and their guests.

Couples are setting up bloody mary and mimosa bars at receptions, especially for brunch weddings. Mix and match fresh ingredients to create the perfect celebratory drink.

“My brides and grooms have been including signature martinis, whisky tastings and wine from their favorite vineyard into their weddings,” says wedding planner Katherine Frost of A Frosted Affair. “It’s all about customizing the drinks to demonstrate the couple’s personality and deepen the guests’ experience.”

If budget isn’t a concern, Frost suggests ordering custom-branded martini glasses, which double as party favors for guests.

She says wine connoisseurs are always impressed when couples serve wine from a favorite vineyard.

Spirits such as tequila, rum and whisky are in demand, too.

“Whisky flights aren’t just for the grooms,” she says. “Brides are requesting this, too.”

Flights typically feature three to four sample tastes of a brand of liquor or wine. The server explains each drink and handles the pours. Guests enjoy the variety and the ability to set their tasting preferences.

These days, customization is important.

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servers, and keep the bar clean and well-stocked. Guests will be disappointed if the bar runs out or the area is a mess. “If you are planning to have a free-standing bar, consider if the back of the bar is visible to guests, and do make sure you have easy access to ice, trash cans or even extra glasses,” says Paulette Alkire of Chalet View Lodge.

Encourage guests to drink responsibly and not to drive.

Be imaginative. “The same creativity that sparks the floral arrangements, color themes and décor goes into creating the drink experience,” says Frost.

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THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

Boudoir session: Sexy photo shoot for couples

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com Boudoir photos — where the subject of the photos, usually women, wear sexy attire or nothing at all — have been popular for years. But now men are posing for the sexy pictures, too. The intimate photos are a treat for both brides and grooms.

The word boudoir, with French origins, means a personal dressing room.

“The idea is that it’s a glimpse into the private,” says Will Haynes of Will Haynes Photo. “This often means not necessarily looking into the camera or smiling, although there’s room for that.

“We also shoot boudoir to tell a story, create a sense of allure and to show off beauty. More importantly, it creates a feeling of beauty for the model.”

He says boudoir is becoming more popular for both women and men: “We affectionately call these ‘dude-oir’ sessions.”

Many individuals and couples say they like the photos as gifts for Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, birthdays and other special occasions. Many wedding photographers offer boudoir sessions as add-ons to wedding and engagement packages.

Photographer Mike Allebach says couples boudoir is “bringing couples closer together.” In the past year, he’s photographed 100 couples in sexy bedroom photo sessions. “The feedback we received is this is life-changing.”

Like other photography shoots and packages, boudoir photos can vary in price and scope. Many are shot at a photographer’s studio with backdrops such as a bedroom or shower, whereas others are mobile and can be at the location of the couple’s choosing.

Prices typically are several hundred dollars or more. Couples are advised to prepare in advance for their boudoir photo session.

Have a few different clothing and accessory options, including such accessories as jewelry and shoes. Some photography studios have clothing and props to use during the shoot. Ask ahead of time to see what is or isn’t available.

Taylor suggests paying close attention to grooming well before the shoot. She says that if you want to get waxed, it’s best to do it about five days to a week before your shoot to minimize the appearance of bumps or redness.

Don’t invite other people to your shoot, because they could be distractions. It’s best for individuals to do their shoots solo or for couples to share the moment together.

The photographer will shoot for a set amount of time — e.g., two hours — not including time for hair and makeup.

A few days or weeks after the photo shoot, the photographer will send you a link to an online gallery. Typically, you can purchase prints and get digital down-

loads. Retouching on blemishes is often available.

The boudoir photographer helps couples pose. Haynes says poses might include arching your back, lifting your legs, twisting your torso, being on your back or lying on your stomach.

“Great photographers are not only good at getting the shot but are excellent at making the model feel comfortable while capturing his/her most flattering poses,” he says.

Don’t mistake boudoir for glamour pix or pornography. It’s important to work with a professional photographer to ensure the images are tasteful and on point.

Be honest with the photographer about what you’re self-conscious about and what you want to shoot. Haynes says that though professional photographers might make suggestions about what to show or how to pose, they won’t pressure clients into revealing more than they are comfortable with showing.

ALLEBACH PHOTOGRAPHY/CREATORS.COM

Boudoir photo sessions can be a private peak into the couple’s intimate life.

Many photographers offer hair and makeup for an additional fee, and the resulting look is more polished. Plus, it can help couples feel sexy and looking their best.

It’s not necessary to wear lingerie or other sexy clothing.

Jenny Taylor, owner of Jenny Taylor Boudoir Photography, says that many of her clients skip lingerie and instead opt for playful looks, such as wearing robes or strategically placed bedsheets or their partner’s sports jersey.

old cake. Though not usually considered, this should be a concern.

Any food frozen for a long time can turn rancid. When a cake isn’t properly wrapped, air can get into the cake, transforming it into a stomach-churning disaster.

Certain types of cakes, fill ings and frostings freeze better than others. For example, lighter cakes will not hold up well. This is especially true if the cake has a filling such as custard, cream or pudding. Richer, denser, moister cakes will tolerate an extended freeze much better. Cakes such as chocolate and carrot are known to stay moist and have a longer shelf

life than cakes such as fruit or angel cake. So the type of cake you originally ordered for your big day will factor into you a successful preservation.

By freezing the cake, you take on risks of ingredients breaking down, drying out or tasting “off,” which can lead to stomach upset and disappointment.

One option is to give that anniversary tradition a twist, and defrost your cake layer on your one-month anniversary instead.

You still get to experience the romantic ritual, and your cake, with only one month in the freezer, will taste much better.

BEAU TIFU L L Y Is it safe to eat old wedding cake? EVER AFT ER

By SHARON NAYLOR Creators.com The time-honored tradition of freezing the top layer of a wedding cake to share on a first anniversary gives many couples a chance to relive a wonderful moment. For decades, couples have joyfully defrosted the leftover cake and dug in with hopes that it will taste just like it did on their big day. And many couples have been left disappointed when their cakes were dry, stale and tasted of the cardboard layers they had been sitting on for a year.

Beyond taste, another concern is how healthy it is to eat a year-

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BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 11

Stay in control when stormy weather strikes

By CHELLE CORDERO Creators.com As if brides and grooms weren’t nervous enough about taking that big step into matrimony, the mere thought of disaster striking to disrupt their wedding plans can be devastating.

Bridal couples planning to say “I do” in areas susceptible to extreme storms know that there are no guarantees, and yet they find themselves hoping for sunny weather. While there is often some warning before extreme weather conditions, there are also unexpected, catastrophic events like tornadoes, earthquakes, flash floods and fires.

Imagine beginning the procession down the aisle only to hear the words “Everybody get out!

There’s a flood coming!” Suddenly, everyone is scrambling, and all of the loving couple’s dreams are washed away. Or imagine receiving an unbelievable phone call from the catering hall manager on the morning of the wedding, saying “The venue burned down last night.” As absurd as these situations might seem, some brides- and grooms-to-be have heard these very words. And yet many couples still manage to get married. Is there a magic wand that somehow makes wedding vows happen against nature’s spitefulness?

Here are some tips from couples that have faced these unexpected events: ■■ Purchase wedding/cancellation insurance.

If you are in an area that might be subject to a storm or other natural disaster, you should consider purchasing wedding insurance.

The caveat is that this insurance must be purchased well before the planned event and well before any predictions of storms or other disasters are made. Depending on the event and whether or not the wedding can take place, your insurance policy may help you recoup losses. Be sure to read through the policy and understand what it does and does not cover.

■■ Read all venue and vendor contracts carefully.

Do this before signing. Know what each contract’s cancellation policy is and how long before the event you need to cancel in order to get a refund. If you’ve sched-

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If stormy weather is moving in and your wedding is coming up, make sure you are prepared. uled your special day and then hear a weather alert, you might decide to play it safe. Under the cancellation clauses, if the wedding needs to be postponed, some vendors may give the couple a specific time period to rebook without penalty.

■■ Have backup plans.

Some facilities have cancellation or liability clauses built into their contracts that attempt to limit their responsibility. If they are totally unable to host your event, you may have legal options to recoup your losses. In cases such as fire or structural damage, some facilities will attempt to make arrangements for hosting the couple’s nuptials elsewhere, which would allow all plans to proceed as scheduled. Understand all of your options and ask about backup plans in case they become necessary.

If you know that stormy weather is headed your way but aren’t sure whether it will im-

pact your location or not, consider how surrounding travel and resources might be affected.

Will your long-distance family be able to fly in as scheduled? Will recommended evacuations bog down local roadways and make it impossible to get to your wedding site? Will the local hotels be able to accommodate your out-oftown guests? If the storm causes a blackout, does your venue have a backup generator? While you are anxious for your day to go

as planned, you also need to consider everyone’s safety. Speak to friends and family that would be attending and get advice from the facility’s management and vendors before making any decision to cancel your plans.

If it’s safe to go ahead with your scheduled affair even with a storm moving in, send out a mass email to your guests to let them know plans and any alternatives.

Have a phone number where you can leave a voicemail message

for your guests, and include that number in your email. Update the message as necessary so that your guests have the information readily available. Provide two or three trusted friends with a full list of contact numbers for all of your guests in case individual phone calls need to be made.

If it looks like the event is not happening but your officiant and a few witnesses are there, go ahead and get married — then have the party later!

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PAGE 12 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

Getting close to sweetheart’s family takes work

By JULIA PRICE Creators.com Falling in love in itself requires a lot of factors to line up in just the right way; the chemistry, life goals and the timing all coming together to create a couple’s special love story. For some people, falling in love with their beloved’s family — and vice versa — is just as important. So whether you’re ready to take the plunge, you’ve already said “I do” or you’re somewhere in between, here’s a list of some surefire ways to get close to your sweetheart’s family.

Humor Like music, comedy can bond people quickly. And what better way to connect than with laughter by inquiring about your honey’s awkward stages growing up? Caroline Utz, in writing the article “5 Ways to Bond with Your Future Mother-in-Law” for the Martha Stewart Weddings website, says: “You and your future MIL share an important common interest — her son! Ask to look at old photo albums and yearbooks, and ask questions about what your groom was like growing up.

If she’s like most moms, she’ll be more than happy to chat about him.” Request to hear all the embarrassing stories (and photos, of course) you can. If you’re at an event with siblings and cousins, even better! They’ll be able to give you the “insider” versions of the stories, the ones that were not suitable for adults back in the day. Besides bonding over laughter, you’ll get a glimpse into a side of your special someone that you didn’t know. While everyone’s relaxed, stories of his or her accomplishments — and your own — are appropriate as well.

Shared, unique interests You may fear that you and your in-laws are more different than alike, but if you keep an open mind and inquire about their favorite activities, you can plan something around them. “Whether you listen to the same music, have a similar taste in clothes, both started bingeing the latest Netflix series, or share a love for cooking, take time to bond over things that you both enjoy,” writes Gabrielle Gresge on the Brit + Co website. This is a great way to help them feel comfortable with you, as their guard will naturally be down

JULIA PRICE/CREATORS.COM

Getting into your in-laws’ world with kindness and fun is a surefire way to create a closer relationship. while engaging in an activity they love. Who knows? You may find out you have a secret passion for card games, relay races or cookoffs that you never knew existed!

Mum’s the word Sometimes the easy way to bond with your in-laws is by not talking. A simple way to relieve a situation where the stakes and expectations are high is to immerse yourselves in an experience where you don’t have to talk, like watching a movie or a play. That way, you’re all sharing the experience without anyone feeling stress or anxiety. This is also a great way to include teenagers or children, especially around the holiday season, as there are many family friendly movies playing that time of year. Not only is this a wonderful way to bridge generational gaps but if there are also issues with certain conversation topics — say, politics — you can keep things as light as possible.

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you can use in every conversation. Oftentimes in-laws have opinions about choices you and your significant other should make. You can set boundaries early on in a kind and healthy way by declaring that you will make decisions for your lives as a team of two; everyone else’s

voices will be heard and considered, but ultimately, you will choose what you feel is best. As long as you both know and practice this, you can truly enjoy the time with your in-laws and extended family — even those who drive you both crazy — because you know that you have each

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Just like your relationship with your sweetheart, the relationship with your in-laws and family members must be nurtured so it grows stronger over time. The common theme among all of these tactics is this: Start where you’re at, and build from there.

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BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 13

Take 2 or 3: Finding love, tying knot — again

By TAWNY MAYA MCCRAY Creators.com Sometimes it takes more than once to get things right, and that can go for marriage, too. It’s one of the biggest decisions we ever make and one of the hardest commitments to keep. There are many reasons why marriages don’t last.

But that doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel and never try again. Giving marriage a second, or third, shot can make all the difference.

Monica Harrison, 58, has been married three times. She met and married her first husband when she was a teenager. They had three kids together and were married for 24 years before he passed away in 2000. Her second marriage lasted four years. She married her third and current husband, Roberto, two years ago, after meeting him through the online dating site Plenty of Fish.

“I went on Plenty of Fish and I had one date and it scared me to death and so I got off, and then decided to get on again two weeks later. Roberto had a picture of he and his brother on there and I put a happy face on it.”

And so it began. Harrison said from there they started talking online for about 10 days and then she finally gave him her phone number. After a week of talking on the phone, Roberto wanted to meet for lunch.

“It was raining and we went to a nice little restaurant and had a great time,” she recalled.

She said they continued talking on the phone for another week and the week after that he proposed.

“He said, ‘Why don’t we get married?’ So, we got married the following Friday. And we’ve been happily ever after since that day.”

Harrison says their relationship has not been without its hardships, though. In their relatively short amount of time together, they have endured the death of her father, the deaths of five of Roberto’s family members, and they have moved from Arkansas to Texas in a U-Haul.

“We were definitely tested right off the bat, so we must be a pretty darn tough couple,” she said. “We just did one thing at a time and just got through it and supported each other.”

Shannon (who declined to give her last name) was 22 the first time she got married. She and her first husband were married for 13 years and had one son together.

They split when their son was young. She married her current husband, Matt, when her son was 6 years old. They have been married for 17 years.

“My son always tells people he has two dads,” Shannon said.

Shannon says her son and Matt are very close, and she and her ex have a very good and positive relationship. Her son is away at college now but when he is home the four of them make sure to spend time together.

“We really do have a great time when we are together. It’s a healthy and loving dynamic.

We are all very comfortable being around each other. We even hang out when our son isn’t around.”

Shannon says people are often shocked when they see how well the four of them get along, but most are supportive and happy that they make it work.

“I think people that are in second marriages wish that they had this type of relationship with their ex,” she said. “We feel blessed to have our ‘modern family’.”

Shannon says the most impor-

PHOTO COURTESY OF MONICA AND ROBERTO HARRISON/CREATORS.COM

For Monica Harrison, her third marriage, to Roberto, was the charm. tant thing is to think of the child first.

“The child’s happiness is the

number one priority. I feel if the grownups are comfortable with the situation then the child will be

too.”

For Jennifer Kawa, having two marriages under her belt, and now a 5-year-old daughter, has made her re-evaluate what it is that she wants and for now that’s putting marriage on the back burner.

Kawa, 43, married her first husband at 24 and it lasted a year and a half. She married her second husband at 29, and they were married for five years.

“I was too young both times, in my honest opinion. I wasn’t emotionally mature enough. I was not a good communicator and I think that will tank any marriage.”

Kawa learned that she was sacrificing her likes, wants and needs in order to make her partner happy or to avoid conflict. But those bottled up emotions came pouring out “in an ugly mess.” Says Kawa, “In the end I’d just resent them.”

Kawa says the No. 1 thing she’d look for in a future husband would be someone she can communicate with comfortably, easily and openly. But she’s not looking for one anytime soon.

“Realistically, I know I don’t have it in me to offer what I need to be in a successful relationship or marriage. I’m definitely not looking for another failed marriage, so until I feel I can come to the table with the time, energy and focus I need to be a successful partner, I’ll be happy focusing on my very important job of motherhood.”

Kawa says she does see herself marrying later in life, though, and maybe the third time will be the charm.

It was for Harrison.

“Everything just was very comfortable and it seems like we’ve always been together,” Harrison said of her marriage to Roberto. “He always says he wishes he would’ve met me 30 years ago and had more time.”

Urge guests to stay off social media during wedding

By JULIA PRICE Creators.com With so much of the world now incorporating social media into social engagements, you may want a break from the real-time posting on your wedding day. In fact, many wedding photographers have complained that they now have difficulty in getting the perfect shots of couples getting hitched because smartphone cameras tend to pop up all over

the place, either blocking their view or adding less-than-romantic technology in the foreground of the capture. We all know you want that perfect picture for the ‘Gram, but come on! People are trying to remember this moment for the rest of their lives!

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Wi-Fi-free event and that all social media posting is either prohibited entirely or prohibited until after the event. You can make it feel a little less rule-ish and a lot more fun by using language that is playful yet direct. For example, you can say: “The theme of this wedding is throwback! No, don’t worry; that doesn’t mean the bridesmaids will be wearing huge neon

green dresses with puffed sleeves.

But it does mean that we will request you to leave your cellphones in your car or in a cute little box at the entrance of the ceremony.”

If you don’t want to actually request that guests leave their phones in a box or bin at the front, then you can give them personal cellphone holders with their names on them -- something satin

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or silky or whatever goes with your theme. Once someone drops his phone into the pouch (which will have his name on it), you can have a greeter collect it and place it at his reception table. If you’d like to remove yourself from any responsibility of holding the See SOCIAL on Page 14

PAGE 14 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

Social (Concluded from Page 13) phones at all, have multiple greeters who will welcome the guests and then ask them to put their phones on airplane mode. Should a guest have an emergency reason to keep her phone on her person, ask her to keep her phone on vibrate and respect the wishes of the bride

and groom by refraining from taking photos and posting anything to social networking sites.

Another way to limit guests’ access to their phones is to go off the grid. You can search for locations where there is not any service or barely any at all. Though this may not free you from those annoying shots of phones taking photos while your photographer is taking photos, you’ll have a lot less to worry about when it comes to having your guests wait

to post their photos. You may want to warn guests that there will be spotty service. That way, they can handle any personal or professional stuff that needs to be put in order before your day of love. And of course, this opens the door to have a lot of fun with creating the theme and vibe that really celebrates the beauty in detaching from the outside world.

Overall, you have to ask yourself what is more important.

Would you rather have guests be

totally present with you and your loved ones as you exchange vows to your sweetie, or do you want to have a special hashtag where you can search and find a bunch of photos that your guests took — photos that the photographer possibly didn’t capture. Because though you’ll gain quality over quantity by leaving the pictures up to the professionals, sometimes the people who know you best are looking for special moments that can only be seen by someone who

truly knows you. If going off the grid is what you’re looking for, perhaps you can gift guests with disposable cameras so they can still add their very special memories to your very special day.

For a list of locations that are remote and far from the grid, you can find a number of options simply by searching “off-the-grid locations” in your search bar. You can then call and double-check that you’ll be as far away from Wi-Fi as possible.

Nontraditional desserts taking over cake table

By CHELLE CORDER Creators.com Here come the bride and groom to cut the cake. Wait; perhaps that isn’t their style. Maybe the couple want something that fits their personality better — a little whimsy, a bit of easygoing finger foods or something sophisticated and unique. The traditional wedding cake isn’t a given anymore.

When it comes to the sweet touch, couples have choices. There are no rules.

Yes, there are still traditional three-, four- and five-tier wedding cakes, but they aren’t necessarily all frosting and flowers anymore. The superhero groom, for example, could have a cake that reveals its own Batcave entrance.

Cakes can be made to look like scenic adventures. They can have surfboards, tourist attractions, piano keyboards — the list is almost endless. The cake can fit the wedding theme, whether it’s castles, beaches, computers and technology, or skydiving.

And there doesn’t even have to be a cake. Weddings can feature doughnut walls, cupcake towers, trays of petits fours or ice-cream parfaits. Having an early-morning wedding? Try serving Belgian waffles with ice cream. Nighttime weddings are perfect for milk and cookies, such as chocolate chip cookies, shortbread cookies, snickerdoodles or colored sugar wafers. Young couples with lots of college friends attending might even enjoy serving alcoholic, as well as nonalcoholic, Jell-O shots.

Another terrific alternative

can be Bundt cakes. Put a fullsize cake on each table to let the guests help themselves, or put mini Bundt cakes on the dessert table with a choice of toppings.

The full-size Bundt cakes can serve as part of the centerpiece.

Try mini angel food shells with fruit and whipped cream for a delicious and light taste. Top a stack of Rice Krispies bars with a traditional or not-so-traditional cake topper; no one is too old to appreciate this sweet and slightly gooey treat. A good idea when serving sticky-finger sweets is a basket of wet wipes for your guests.

Parfaits can be served in

Champagne flutes, wine glasses, mini or full-size sundae glasses, or even shot glasses. Parfait fillings can be ice cream, pudding or cheesecake. A delicious dessert starts with small juice glasses and a base of crushed graham crackers. Fill it with creamy cheesecake, and top it with blueberries, strawberries or raspberries. You can use colors that match the colors of the bridal party, wedding theme or season.

Even more wedding dessert

ideas include small scoops of ice cream on palette-shaped cookies, made-to-order dessert crepes, macaroons and homemade toaster pastries. Couples have even had “cakes” made of multiple-tiered cheese wheels and served their guests small wedges of cheese with grapes or sliced apples and bread or crackers. Depending on the venue, wedding desserts are the perfect setting for your favorite aunt’s blue-ribbon blondies and brownies. Say “yes” to your friend

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These blueberry cheesecake shots are a fun and delicious wedding dessert that can be made with a variety of fruit toppings to please multiple palates or continue the color themes of the wedding. who wants to bring her homemade rugelach and mini pastries.

If you or your guests are healthconscious or require gluten-free

desserts, try yogurt and fresh fruit parfaits. Pair up doughnut holes, fresh fruit pieces, marshmallows and even pretzel sticks with chocolate and caramel fountains, whipped toppings or syrups for fun do-it-yourself wedding sweets that your guests will love. Outdoor weddings with fire pits are perfect settings for s’mores. Give each guest an individual s’mores kit and watch the fun. What is a more perfect fit at a summer beach wedding than small pastel-colored cotton candy cones?

Couples who opt for nontra ditional desserts can have a traditional cake cutting and photo opportunity if they want with a small one-layer cake or big cookie cake. Both can be adorned with cake toppers and later cut into small bite-size pieces to be served at the dessert table along with other goodies.

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

BRIDAL GUIDE ■ PAGE 15

Planning pitfalls: 5 wedding mistakes to avoid

By KRISTEN CASTILLO Creators.com You only get one shot to plan and execute your wedding so don’t want to make any mistakes that could waste your time, money or energy. Nothing should jeopardize the success of your big day.

“If you are planning your wedding, you can try to stay clear of avoidable mistakes by just enjoying the process and being grateful,” says wedding expert Racquel Kristi of PopBliss pop-up wedding celebrations. “Not everyone gets to celebrate love and get married but you can, so think of it as a gift!

“Remember it’s not just about that special moment down the aisle ... you and your fiance are what is special about that moment, so take care of yourselves.”

Krystel Tien, owner of Couture Events and Elle Bridal Boutique, advises couples not to sweat the small stuff.

“At the end of the day, if you are married, you have had a successful wedding day,” Tien says.

“Once you start letting the little details bother you, you are not focusing on what really matters, and that is that you are marrying the love of your life.

So what wedding mistakes

should you avoid? Read on as wedding coordinators breakdown the things you shouldn’t do as you’re planning for your big day.

■■ Mistake 1: not having a wedding planner. Many brides want to handle wedding planning on their own, but wedding professionals say that’s a bad idea.

“Brides do not save money by not hiring a wedding planner,” says Kristi, “They waste money if they do not. A professional and well-respected planner will have experience, relationships, creativity and the time to solve wedding traumas -- being over budget, poor time management, regretful vendor selections, unruly guests and logistical fiascos.”

Don’t wait to hire a planner either. Kristi says it’s one of the first things couples should do after getting engaged. That way you’ll be focused from the start, which can help ensure your wedding choices are good decisions.

■■ Mistake 2: DIYing. From handcrafted invitations to personalized favors, these days many brides want to be hands-on designing their wedding. Still, wedding experts frown upon this idea.

Though DIY weddings are incredibly popular, set realistic expectations for your walk down the aisle.

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“ Many brides overcommit

to DIY projects,” says Tien.

“Then, months before the wedding, they are already so stressed out because they are working on too many projects.

Hire someone to take care of that work for you.”

■■ Mistake 3: not having a realistic budget. Every wedding needs a budget and couples need to make an honest projection of what they want and can afford.

“A wedding for 200 people will usually be more costly than a 50 person wedding,” says Olivia Bawarski, co-owner of Dare to Dream Events. With more guests, you’ll have to spend more on essentials like flowers, decor and food. “Make sure you have realistic expectations,” notes Bawarski.

Another budget tip? Don’t always look for the lowest pricing.

“Make sure you look at quality, too,” says Bawarski.

■■ Mistake 4: inviting too many people. You may feel pressure to invite lots of people, including former classmates, childhood neighbors and parents’ friends.

However, try to keep your guest list moderate. Those extra guests will only mean extra expenses and additional stress.

“Cut the guest list,” says Tien.

“Aunt Sally’s cousin does not need

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to be invited. Don’t feel bad about the people you were not able to include. Instead focus on those who were invited, those closest to you.”

■■ Mistake 5: obsessing over your wedding. Yes the wedding day is exciting, but the real celebration is your marriage.

“Focus on what your ‘happily forever after’ looks like, keeping your relationship in a comfortable place and let the professionals worry about your wedding,” says Kristi, who explains stressing about the wedding can be negative and make it “feel like a duty instead of a choice.”

Take regular breaks from your wedding checklist so you and your partner can enjoy some quality time to relax.

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PAGE 16 ■ BRIDAL GUIDE

THE HERALD ■ FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2019

Dance the night away: Traditional first dances

By TAWNY MCCRAY Creators.com Weddings are incredibly personal events, as they are crafted around the personality of the couple. One place to really put an extra personal stamp on things is the first dance, as well as the mothers’ and fathers’ dance.

Some couples might go all out and do the choreography to classics like the big dance number to “Time of Your Life” in “Dirty Dancing” — lift and all! Others may start with a more traditional song then break out and do some fun moves to their favorite hiphop or country song.

Others might get creative and write their own songs to dance to with their new spouses.

When Lynda Sterns married

her husband, Michael, in March of 1969, their first dance was the first time they had ever danced together.

He was in college and she was in high school when they got together, so they never attended a school dance together. Lynda had only ever danced with her peers and on dates at summer dances in junior high and high school.

So her first dance with Michael — to The Beatles’ “Here, There, and Everywhere” — was especially meaningful.

“We were love birds when we got married, and we adored each other. I finally got to dance with my love.”

Sterns said that led to them

taking several dance lessons, like swing dancing and line dancing, together over the years.

“The swing still serves us today because you can swing to rock, country or Duke Ellington.

Somehow Michael gets this kind of beat.”

Kristen

Bollman married Bryan in November 2010. They danced to two songs together, from different genres, at different times in their ceremony. The first was “Come a Little Closer” by Dierks Bentley, and the second was “Faithfully” by Journey.

“We just really liked both of them,” she said.

When it came time for her to dance with her dad, Bollman said he surprised her a bit.

“My dad didn’t want to dance with me, because he doesn’t like to dance or be the center of attention. He saw me starting to dance with my father-in-law and said, ‘Hey, wait a minute, I’ll dance with you,’ and cut in. Super sweet of my dad.”

Sherry Engberg said a song she and her husband Bob loved listening to in college — Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong’s version of “Our Love Is Here to Stay” — ended up playing a role in their daughter Catherine’s wedding decades later.

“Bob would play it in his dorm room as a freshman,” she said “When it came to the line ‘the Rockies may tumble, Gibraltar may crumble, they’re only made of clay’ his roommate, a geology major, would interrupt and blurt out ‘igneous intrusions!’”

Years later, Catherine got engaged to Tom — a geotechnical engineer.

“We knew what song should

be played for the father-daughter dance,” Engberg said.

Catherine and her dad danced to the song at her wedding.

Maria Nieto Senour said she

had a very moving first dance to one of John Lennon’s best songs with her son Carlos at his wedding a couple years ago.

“Carlos took my hand and led me to the dance floor as “Imagine”

started playing. It surprised and moved me so much I both wept and laughed.”

S enour said it was one of

the best days of her life and she fondly recalled her new daughter-in-law beaming at the two of them on the dance floor, “knowing that a man who loves and respects his mother is a man who will know how to love and respect his wife.”

When a bride or groom has lost a parent, that first dance might be omitted altogether.

One married couple — high

school sweethearts who have been married for nearly two decades ‚— said they skipped that part of the ceremony on purpose.

“I know it sounds bad, but my dad and I are not that close and I didn’t want to fake anything at my wedding,” said the bride. “And my husband’s mom passed away years before our wedding.”

She said when it came to her first dance with her hubby, they selected a song that resonated with them both.

“We chose “Luna” by Smashing Pumpkins. The chorus is ‘I’m in love with you, so in love.’”

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The fatherdaughter dance is just one of the special moments that takes place during a wedding reception.

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