On the Coast Families / Feb Mar 24 edition by On the Coast Publications ~ Families & Over 55

WELLBEING

 PA R E N T I N G  L I F E S T Y L E  I N S P I R AT I O N

YOURS FREE [#128] FEB/MAR 24

STRIVING FOR MEDIOCRITY:

The art of letting go

Six steps to

My teen (and I) need help! NAVIGATING MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES FOR TEENS

self love

CENTRAL COAST’S FAVOURITE FAMILY MAGAZINE FOR OVER 20 YEARS

Welcome

Inside 6

Happy 2024! We hope the new year is off to an incredible start and lots of great memories were made during the festive season – I mean, isn’t that what holidays are for, making memories?

Could your fiery, explosive and strong–willed child be a highly sensitive person (HSP)?

It doesn’t need to be an elaborate holiday overseas or even a camping trip up north. We have the opportunity to make each day special no matter what we are doing. Especially for our kids as we are creating their childhood memories. We had a sticky few weeks in the holidays, from consecutive tummy bugs to an unfortunate complication to a scheduled surgery, the weeks just seemed to fly by. And now at the end of the school holidays, I’m left wishing I could have a few more weeks with my babies at home. But we made the most of what we coul, with activities at the local libraries, sleepovers at Nanny and Poppy’s, playdates, simple, but fun things and that’s what’s important. We only really get 16, maybe 18 summer holidays with our kids before they are ‘too cool’ to hang out with their parents and our eldest is 8, so we are already halfway there – scary! Here’s to a year of memorable moments Coasties! Best wishes for the year ahead!

Tanziexx

10 Secure Your Future: the crucial role of superannuation in your small business journeys

12 Is your child’s vision classroom ready?

15 Matters of life & love 16 Striving for mediocrity: The art of letting go

Art Director/Editor Tanzie Carpenter tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au Production Luke Carpenter luke@onthecoastpublications.com.au Editor Jessica Sanford editor@onthecoastpublications.com.au Publisher Tanzie Carpenter / 0414 611 851 Luke Carpenter / 0405 449 339 trading as On the Coast Publications ABN 52 212 212 482 PO Box 3251, Bateau Bay NSW 2261

For advertising enquiries advertising@onthecoastpublications.com.au For article contribution enquiries tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au Printing Spotpress Pty Ltd / 02 9549 1111 Imagery ingimage.com and freepik.com Contributors Alita Blanchard, Simon Tarrant, Dr Nicholas Altuneg, Sarah Tolmie, Selina Chapman, Sam and Jordi Woods, Alexandra Wilson, Louise Hurley, Dorian Mode and Sam Savva

onthecoastpublications.com.au

18 Six steps to self love 20 My teen (and I) need help! Navigating mental health services for teens

22 Effective ways to strengthen your core (and not a sit–up in sight!)

24 Feeling nostalgic? Reminiscing about backyard games from 1970s

28 See your passion with prescription swimming goggles

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WARRANTY & INDEMNITY Advertisers and/or advertising agencies upon and by lodging material with the Publisher for publication or authorising or approving of the publication of any material INDEMNIFY the Publisher, its servants and agents against all liability claims or proceedings whatsoever arising from the publication and without limiting the generality of the fore–going to indemnify each of them in relation to defamation, slander of title, breach of copyright, infringement of trademarks or names of publication titles, unfair competition or trade practices, royalties or violation of rights or privacy AND WARRANT that the material compiles with all relevant laws and regulations and that its publication will not give rise to any rights against or liabilities in the Publisher, its servants or agents and in particular that nothing therein is capable of being misleading or deceptive or otherwise in breach of Part V of the Trade Practices Act 1974. The views expressed in On the Coast – Families are not necessarily those of the editor or publishing staff. While every effort has been made to insure accuracy of the information in this publication, no responsibility will be accepted by On the Coast – Families. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the publisher.

Read our previous articles at onthecoastfamilies.com.au @onthecoastfamilies FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

heat

MANAGING THE

Dealing with conflict in separated families

It’s the start of another school year and managing routines can be difficult for separated families. We become skilled in the art of careful communication and it can feel like we are walking on eggshells. At Bilson Law, we have a few tips and tricks to help make it more manageable for separated families. Take some time to get to know what stage of communication you and your co–parent are in. Communication dispute stages: Smooth Bumpy The heat is on The wheels are off To keep it ‘smooth’ takes effort and planning. You will need a different strategy depending on which stage you are in. Once you are in the ‘bumpy’, ‘heat’ or ‘wheels–off’ stages, it is time to get some advice from a family therapist or resolution–focused family lawyer.

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Take some time to prepare an agreement about your communication. The co–parent agreement can address: how; when; why; what; and, all things communication related. It’s not just the content that causes difficulty, most of the time, it’s the delivery. KEY BASICS OF THE CO–PARENTING COMMUNICATION AGREEMENT: 1 Value planning What are your agreed values? These are the underlying values that bind your family. For example, we both love our children.

2 ‘No–go zones What are the topics that are off–limits? What topics should only be discussed

with the assistance of a mediator or family therapist?

3 Means of Communication What types of communication work? Are there certain types of communication that don’t work? For example, in–person, text message, email, co–parenting app. 4 Timing What times are off–limits? Are there certain times of the day? Days of the week? Take time to consider a particular time each week that suits both of you. 5 Time frame expectations Consider what time frame is reasonable for certain responses. For example, if

BILSON LAW Will communication be limited back to email only? Or use of a co–parenting application Have a plan about what will happen if the ‘heat is on’ or the ‘wheels fall off’. Agree NOW on who the mediator will be.

8 Third parties Who are the unhelpful people that should not become involved in the communication? Or, are there helpful people who should be involved? the request is a practical issue, perhaps 24 hours is appropriate? Or, if the request is

It’s not just the content that causes difficulty, most of the time, it’s the delivery about education or non–urgent health matters, perhaps 2–3 days is appropriate?

6 Both parents matter Reaching agreement requires that both parents have expressed their view and feel heard. If you do not feel comfortable to express your views about the communication agreement, engage with a mediator. Many legal disputes could be avoided if co–parents are able to develop strategies to communicate safely and effectively.

For guidance on establishing a healthy co–parenting communication strategy to prevent the wheels falling off, contact the Bilson Law team to schedule a co–parents communication strategy appointment.

7 What if?

Have a plan about what will happen if the communication gets bumpy. Will you hold off for 24–48 hours?

Phone 4339 0999 Suite 4, 210 The Entrance Rd Erina NSW Australia 2250 bilsonlaw bilsonlaw.com.au

CONNECT AND GROW LOCALLY: ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS IN OUR CENTRAL COAST FAMILIES MAGAZINE tanzie@onthecoastpublications.com.au onthecoastfamilies.com.au @onthecoastfamilies FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

COULD YOUR FIERY, EXPLOSIVE AND STRONG–WILLED CHILD BE A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP)? BY ALITA BLANCHARD, PARENT COACH

If you sometimes label your child as defiant, challenging, explosive and aggressive, you may have a child who falls into the 20–30% of humans known as a “highly sensitive person” (HSP). These kids are also sometimes called strong willed, spirited, spicy, fiery and/or deeply feeling. They can often have tricky, challenging and baffling behaviours. WHAT IS HSP? Scientifically known as Sensory Processing Sensitivity, HSP is not a disorder but a unique personality trait. Unfortunately, it is often mislabeled with mental health issues and diagnoses, leading to a lack of understanding and appropriate support. THE MAIN CHARACTERISTICS OF HSP (D.O.E.S) Depth of Processing HSPs have a more reactive brain, processing information deeply Parts of their brain are highly active around emotional content They can become deeply involved in projects and research. Example: A highly sensitive child may spend an extended amount of time reflecting on a sad event, expressing deep emotions and empathy for the characters involved. Over Arousal/Overstimulation/ Overwhelm Easily overaroused, leading to anxiety, fear, dysregulation, and shutdown More susceptible to sensory overwhelm, including sensitivity to noise, taste, lights, sight, and touch

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Fast meltdowns can occur due to overstimulation. Example: In a noisy and crowded play area, a highly sensitive child might become overwhelmed, leading to heightened anxiety, withdrawal, or even a sudden meltdown. Emotional Reactivity and Empathy HSPs exhibit strong emotional reactions They can feel the energy of others easily Empathy extends beyond human interactions to animals and the planet They love deep relationships, but this doesn’t always translate to empathy towards siblings as they can find their siblings overstimulating Downtime alone is crucial for emotional wellbeing. Example: When a friend or family member is upset, a highly sensitive child may visibly absorb and reflect that emotion, showing strong empathy or dysregulation. Stimuli Sensitivity HSPs notice the little things in their environment They are sensitive to lighting, physical touch, clothing, environment, noise, vision, movement, atmosphere, and beauty. Example: A highly sensitive child might notice subtle changes in the environment, such as a flickering light, the sound of a

fan, or a specific scent, and react strongly to these stimuli, possibly becoming agitated or seeking solace. WHAT HELPS THESE HIGHLY SENSITIVE KIDS? Embrace them – just as they are!! Praise – so much praise Patience (your growth in self regulation is KEY!) Compassion See their gifts Incentives (used wisely) Working on YOUR triggers Surrender Flexibility Embracing the wild beauty of them Doing your own shame work Teach them how to be good friends instead of bossy friends Talk about tone and language Trust that they will grow (It takes 25 – 30 years for a child’s brain to fully develop!!) Remind them of their goodness (they really need to hear it!) – say things like: – “You’re a good kid, having a hard time” – “You are always loveable” – “You belong here” – “I’ll keep learning how to support you AND me” HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR HIGHLY SENSITIVE CHILD Build Your Awareness Research “highly sensitive people”, do

In a noisy and crowded play area, a highly sensitive child might become overwhelmed, leading to heightened anxiety, withdrawal, or even a sudden meltdown the free test online on www.hsperson. com – for your child and yourself. Listen to podcasts, read articles, access support. Learn to listen to strong emotions and regulate yourself HSP children (and adults) can have very strong emotions and, as such, parents can end up yelling and shaming these kids a lot because they are so triggering. Create a space to listen and support your child, no matter how seemingly small their pain may be. Reach out for support with a therapist who understands HSP traits or a parent coach if you need to deepen your listening skills and ability to regulate. Create a sensory and regulating lifestyle Learn about your child’s needs, sensitivities, comforts and triggers when it comes to the senses such as touch, sound, vision, taste, clothing, movement. HSP kids may need extra movement and like swinging, rocking, jumping, swimming to help them regulate. Establish routines and rituals that provide stability. Structure your family life in a way that accommodates the needs of an HSP child – this may include slowing down, less activities, less socials and simple, short holidays or breaks away as travelling and holidays generally can be hard. WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS MELTDOWNS Once meltdowns start, there is limited intervention possible, and the best approach is to hold space and co–regulate i.e., You must learn to “ride the storm” of the meltdown. Do NOT punish, yell or scream as this will increase their fear and dysregulation

Reduce stimulation – low lights. Low sounds, simple space, less sensory overwhelm Remove task demands – e.g., activities, jobs, chores Slow pace. Voice quiet. Prosody of voice. Minimal or no talking. (This builds trust and safety) Slow your breath. Heart–focused breathing. “This is my most important work today” Physical touch, hugs, massage, back rub, slow firm deep pressure, hug and release (some kids will find touch dysregulating) Total quiet. Dark room, minimal sensory is fine if that is what a child prefers. Check on them or stay outside door Clear the space to make it less overwhelming – simplify their room, tent, less toys, soft pillows, sensory blankets and cuddly toys Soft music, play list, headphones may help some kids. Embracing and supporting highly sensitive children involves a holistic understanding of their unique characteristics. By advocating for their needs, educating yourself, and

A highly sensitive child might notice subtle changes in the environment, such as a flickering light, the sound of a fan, or a specific scent, and react strongly to these stimuli, possibly becoming agitated or seeking solace creating a nurturing environment, you can empower your highly sensitive child to navigate the world with confidence and thrive in their own beautiful way. IMPORTANT – There can be some overlap in the traits of HSP individuals and other neurodivergent traits connected to ADHD, autism, sensory processing disorder, giftedness and anxiety. Please speak to your GP/child healthcare professional if you are concerned.

Visit www.theawaremama.com.au and sign up to Aware Mama news to a free eBook on Radical Self Care tips. hello@theawaremama.com.au | theawaremama.com.au @alitablanchard_

Alita Blanchard – The Aware Mama Based on the NSW Central Coast, Alita is a mother of 4 boys and is a trauma informed Parent Coach, Rites of Passage facilitator, Holistic Counseller (training) and Somatic Emotional Release practitioner. She provides online parenting support and education 1:1, group programs and occasional in person events in NSW.

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

Options for studying that suit you at ST PHILIP’S CHRISTIAN COLLEGE GOSFORD

At St Philip’s Christian College Gosford, we are offering two extra programs that are unique points of difference in how we offer our studies. We encourage you to take a look at our offerings in these two spaces, as well as the multitude of other reasons why you should consider our college. HSC SMARTTRACK This program in years eleven and twelve gives students the opportunity to complete a full Higher School Certificate (HSC) qualification while beginning an apprenticeship or school–based traineeship. The students come two to three days per week to school studying English, Mathematics and Work Studies, and spend the other days of the week studying for their chosen apprenticeship courses, or in the workplace. As HSC SmartTrack operates as a course pathway (and even with a different uniform to our mainstream students),

ON T H E C OA S T – FA MILIES

the students in this program complete all of their hours for their school–based courses on their days at school, and so when at their workplace, are not missing key course content and can focus on their chosen vocations. The course provides a full non–ATAR, non– examination HSC qualification, which grants students access to a number of courses at the University of Newcastle (and other universities as well), without sitting an HSC exam. As part of this innovative pathway in recent years, students have completed qualifications in early childhood education and care, automotive studies, fitness, education support, car mechanics and ICT, to name a few. Exploring their areas of passion – without needing to leave school – makes HSC SmartTrack a wonderful option for students who want to complete their final years of school differently! Want to know more about this exciting program, or the myriad of other course options open to students at SPCC Gosford? We encourage you to get in touch and explore your child’s interests with us, and how we can use their studies to springboard them into their dream vocation or tertiary study.

IGNITE At SPCC Gosford, we are passionate about middle schooling, an approach to years five to eight that puts the focus of education more on the child and less on the subjects that they study. We want students to be known and cared for during these crucial years of development, where they spend significant time with a core teacher as they transition between the junior and senior years of schooling. In year six this

HSC SmartTrack a wonderful option for students who want to complete their final years of school differently! year, we are introducing a new program called ‘Ignite’, where our students will be engaged in a number of activities focused on building resilience, engaging

ST PHILIP’S CHRISTIAN COLLEGE GOSFORD

activities focused on building resilience, engaging within the local community, a project–style approach to learning, and a number of key ‘rites of passage’ events within the local community, a project– style approach to learning, and a number of key ‘rites of passage’ events as the students learn more about themselves and the world they live in. We are excited to launch this program in 2024, and encourage you to come and see what we are doing, so that you can imagine the possibilities for your child as we work together. St Philip’s Christian College Gosford – Igniting Passion and Purpose for the Whole of Life. Come and see what we are doing differently, and how we might partner with you on your child’s educational journey.

“We often have new families comment that our school has a different ‘feel’ to others that they have experienced in the past or visited, and we believe that this is due to God’s Spirit at work in and through our college. All of our staff are Christian and this influences every element of their work, from what they teach, how they interact with students and in the way we partner with parents.” – Cameron Johnston | Principal St Philip’s Christian College Gosford 20 Narara Creek Rd Narara NSW 2250 Phone 4331 4400 | spcc.nsw.edu.au/gosford SPCC Gosford

spccgosford

St Philip’s Christian College Gosford

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

SECURE YOUR FUTURE:

the crucial role of superannuation in your small business journey BY SIMON TARRANT, PRIVATE CLIENT ADVISER

In the hustle and bustle of running a small business in Australia, it’s easy for owners to get caught up in day–to–day operations and overlook critical aspects of their financial future. One such aspect that often takes a backseat is superannuation contributions and retirement planning. Ignoring these crucial elements can have profound implications for the financial wellbeing of small business owners in their golden years. THE PAIN OF NEGLECTING SUPERANNUATION 1. Insufficient Retirement Funds. Small business owners frequently invest heavily in their ventures, often at the expense of adequately funding their superannuation. As a result, they risk reaching retirement age with insufficient savings, leaving them financially vulnerable in their golden years.

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2. Dependency on Business Success: Relying solely on the success of your business as your retirement plan is a high–stakes gamble. Economic downturns, industry changes, or unforeseen circumstances can impact your business, potentially threatening your retirement funds. 3. Limited Investment Diversification: Neglecting superannuation means

Ignoring these crucial elements can have profound implications for the financial wellbeing of small business owners in their golden years

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O N T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

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missing out on the opportunity to diversify your investments. A well– managed superannuation fund allows for a broader range of investment options, reducing risk and increasing the potential for long–term growth. THE TAX BENEFITS OF SUPERANNUATION 1. Concessional Tax Contributions: One of the key advantages of making superannuation contributions is the concessional tax treatment. By contributing to your super, you can potentially reduce your taxable income, allowing you to keep more of your hard–earned money. 2. Tax Free Retirement Income: Upon reaching retirement age, the earnings from your superannuation fund become tax–free. This tax benefit can significantly boost your retirement income, providing you with a more comfortable and financially secure future. 3. Capital Gains Tax Exemptions: Superannuation funds enjoy certain exemptions from capital gains tax, providing small business owners with an opportunity to optimise their investment returns while minimising tax liabilities, particularly when selling or restructuring a business.

TIPS FOR PROACTIVE RETIREMENT PLANNING 1. Regularly Review and Adjust Contributions: Stay proactive by regularly reviewing and adjusting your superannuation contributions based on your business performance and financial goals. A small, consistent effort can make a significant impact over the long term. 2. Seek Professional Advice: Consult with financial advisors or tax professionals to ensure you’re making the most of available tax benefits and optimising your retirement strategy. Their expertise can help you navigate the complex landscape of superannuation regulations and investment options. 3. Diversify Investments: Embrace the opportunity to diversify your investments through your superannuation fund. This not only mitigates risk but also enhances the potential for steady, long–term growth. As a small business owner in Australia, safeguarding your financial future requires a holistic approach that includes proactive superannuation contributions and retirement planning. By addressing these critical aspects now, you not only mitigate potential pain points in the future but also

A well–managed superannuation fund allows for a broader range of investment options, reducing risk and increasing the potential for long–term growth unlock valuable tax benefits that can significantly impact your overall financial wellbeing. Take the time to prioritise your superannuation contributions and embrace the peace of mind that comes with a well–prepared retirement plan. Your future self will thank you.

If you would like to discuss your superannuation and overall financial strategy please contact Simon at simon.tarrant@morgans.com.au or via (02) 4325 0884 Morgans Financial Limited 1/6 Burns Cres, Gosford NSW 2250 morgans.com.au/gosford

Simon Tarrant (AR: 001270872) is a Private Client Adviser at Morgans Financial Limited (AFSL 235410 / ABN 49 010 669 726). Simon is passionate about creating quality financial strategies that are tailored and customised to a clients’ lifestyle, financial goals and risk profile. Disclaimer: While every care has been taken, Morgans Financial Limited makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of the contents. The information is of a general nature only and has been prepared without consideration of your individual objectives, financial situation or needs. Before making any decisions, you should consider the appropriateness for your personal investment objectives, financial situation or individual needs. We recommend you see a financial adviser, registered tax agent or legal adviser before making any decisions based on this information.

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FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

IS YOUR CHILD’S VISION

lassroom c READY? BY DR NICHOLAS ALTUNEG, BEHAVIOURAL OPTOMETRIST

Getting your child ready for the school routine often involves a flurry of preparations. From neatly ironed uniforms to carefully packed school bags and lunches, parents ensure everything is set for the exciting journey into learning. However, amidst these arrangements, there’s a crucial element many parents might overlook — the readiness of their child’s vision for the upcoming academic challenges. Amidst the anticipation and excitement, assessing how well your child’s eyes and vision are prepared for the classroom is essential. While immunisations and dental check–ups are often prioritised, understanding how well your child processes information in a classroom setting is equally crucial. VISION: THE SILENT DRIVER OF LEARNING Over 80% of the information a child receives is visual information, therefore, vision is the primary channel

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through which children receive, interpret, and understand information. Extensive research emphasises the strong link between vision and academic achievement. THE UNSEEN IMPACT OF VISION Imagine this: your child is sitting in a classroom, trying their best to focus on the teacher’s instructions. However, they’re quietly struggling because they mix letters, the words move on the page, or they keep losing their place when they read. Instead of complaining, they adapt, squinting, straining or rubbing their eyes, believing this is how everyone experiences the world. As parents and educators, it’s not uncommon for us to misinterpret these silent struggles. We might think the child is being difficult, inattentive, or simply disinterested in learning. The truth is that these behaviours often stem from an undiagnosed vision problem, despite the child’s best efforts to cope with it. It’s not just about seeing clearly; it’s about processing visual information effectively. Most children don’t complain of visually related learning problems. Instead they silently struggle, and as parents, we wonder why?

SPOTTING THE TELL–TALE SIGNS If children rarely report symptoms of visually related challenges that they are experiencing, then as parents or educators, how do we know when they should have their eyes examined? The only way is for us to observe our child when they are trying to learn. The following signs could indicate that our child is silently suffering with a visually related learning problem: Frequent loss of place while reading: Does your child frequently lose their place, skip words, or read slowly compared to their classmates? Strain with visual concentration: Does reading, writing or drawing cause eye strain and headaches? Do you observe your child squinting or rubbing their eyes after a short period of visual activity? Avoidance of close–up work: Does your child avoid activities that involve focusing on tasks up close? Difficulty in concentration: Does your child struggle to sustain focus on visually concentrated tasks? Are they easily distracted? Poor visual memory: Does your child struggle remembering the same word on the next page? Are you surprised your child can’t remember words they should know? Struggles with comprehension: Are they often misunderstanding

the success of behavioural optometric treatment for children with learning– related visual challenges. Vision therapy, combined with appropriate lenses, aids in processing visual information more efficiently and enhancing visual recall. Moreover, properly prescribed lenses serve beyond mere clarity correction. They play a pivotal role in improving function, relieving eye stress, and addressing various visual problems encountered during tasks like reading, crafts, or computer use. instructions, leading to assignment errors or frustrated that they are not as “smart as their friends”? Poor handwriting: Is their handwriting often illegible, making it challenging for teachers to assess work accurately? Poor performance in sports: Is hand–eye coordination in sports a challenge? Do they appear to track moving objects or judge distances inaccurately? Do they appear to lack general awareness, resulting in poor performance or clumsiness? These examples highlight how vision–related challenges can hinder a child’s performance, leading to frustration, low self–esteem, and difficulty keeping up with peers. Identifying and addressing these issues through comprehensive behavioural optometry eye tests can significantly improve a child’s learning experience and overall success at school. THE LIMITATIONS OF STANDARD EYE TESTS Many children undergo preschool eye screening tests, which only check the clarity of vision from a distance.

However, these screenings often overlook the essential aspects of vision needed for learning—particularly at near, reading, or writing distances— where most learning occurs. Standard optometric evaluations usually concentrate on ‘refractive error’, measuring clarity with letter charts. However, vision encompasses a complex process that extends beyond how clearly your child can see. BEHAVIOURAL OPTOMETRY: A DEEPER INSIGHT Optometrists specialising in Behavioural Optometry delve deeper into various aspects beyond the standard eye exam. They assess critical functions like focusing, eye teaming, tracking, depth perception, and the child’s ability to comprehend what they see. Addressing subtle yet significant vision problems before they affect learning becomes the cornerstone of their approach. TREATMENT OPTIONS FOR LEARNING–RELATED VISUAL PROBLEMS Documented case studies highlight

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ENSURING YOUR CHILD’S VISION IS CLASSROOM–READY As a parent, understanding your child’s vision health through an eye test conducted by an experienced behavioural optometrist is vital. It offers valuable insights into their eye health and readiness for the remarkable learning journey ahead. Recognising the signs of potential vision–related challenges in your child can be key to early intervention and successful learning. Symptoms such as frequent loss of place while reading, avoidance of close–up work, or poor hand–eye coordination during physical activities could indicate underlying vision issues affecting learning potential. Vision readiness isn’t just about seeing clearly—it’s about how well your child’s eyes work together, interpret information, and comprehend what they see. A comprehensive behavioural optometry assessment can uncover these subtler yet critical issues before they impact your child’s learning experience. It’s about setting the stage for academic success by ensuring your child’s vision is prepared for the vibrant world of learning that awaits them. This article is intended to promote understanding of and knowledge about general eye health topics. It should not be used as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your health care professional prior to incorporating this as part of your health regimen. Dr Nicholas Altuneg is a Behavioural Optometrist who has been working on the Central Coast for almost 30 years. He is the co–founder at Eyes by Design, which is in the Kincumber Centre. Appointments can be made by phone 4369 8169 or online at www.eyesbydesign.com.au FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

Matters of

e v o l & life

Dearly Beloved

I remember this time in my children’s lives. My sons shocked me with the range and bigness of their feelings. I soon discovered children are just ‘little people having the same big feels as big people’, just with less capacity and resources and control. In fact, what I know and can share from my experience as a marriage therapist, is sometimes adults remain ‘childlike’ in their capacity to regulate and communicate their ‘big feelings’. It is important to bring skill and good modelling early in the emotional realm so kids can grow into their skills as good emotional regulators and communicators, because one of the greatest and most necessary skills in relationships is empathy.

You’re not going to get it right all the time. Apologize when you make mistakes, forgive yourself, and remember that learning and growth are ongoing processes for both you and your child Being able to give safe honouring and expression to feelings is a learned skill and one that you can influence significantly as a parent. Kids learn from watching how you experience feelings. Getting angry because someone else is having a big feeling gives an indication that your husband has his own difficulties providing an empathetic buffering between your son’s feeling experience and his own uncomfortable reaction. As parents, you guys first need to build up your empathetic muscle – hold and brace your own emotional reaction – so you give first care and triage

BY SARAH TOLMIE

READER QUESTION: “My middle child is five years old and he is having massive tantrums and explosive moments that are becoming very disruptive and even scary. I am struggling to deal with them, and my husband gets angry with him. I don’t want him to feel that his feelings get him into trouble and will be punished. We’re running out of ideas.”

to your boy. Another way to describe this is managing your own flood. Next, what I teach big and little people is that feelings are our friends and guides. Follow the feeling. Attend to it first like you would a bleeding wound. If you child came to you hurt, you’d triage and fix the immediate presentation of injury before going into a discussion and lecture. You wouldn’t get angry at the wound. Before you even know why or what is going on, trust his feeling has legitimacy and reason. Validate it. Help to make it safe for that first ‘explosion’ to happen and burn off, and then help to allow continued expression safely and without judgement. When a feeling is believed, respected and validated, it is more likely to accept soothing and calm. Especially when your son learns to trust that you will help him find a way to process and learn the message feelings can reveal. Here are some top tips (for both little kids and big kids): Feelings are OK, even the big ones: Validate your child’s emotions instead of trying to fix them. Let them know their feelings are normal and acceptable, even negative ones like anger or sadness Connection is key: Prioritize genuine connection and understanding over rules and control. Be present with your child, listen actively, and offer empathy Stop the battle of wills: Power struggles don’t work. Shift the focus from control to collaboration and problem solving. Offer choices and involve your child in finding solutions Embrace the tantrum: Tantrums are a normal part of emotional development. Stay calm, set boundaries, and offer comfort without giving in to demands Let them play rough and dirty: Play is how children learn and explore. Allow for messy, unstructured play that encourages

creativity and resilience Don’t compare: Every child is unique and develops at their own pace. Resist comparing your child to others and focus on their individual strengths and progress Boundaries are essential: Set clear and consistent boundaries with love and kindness. This doesn’t mean being harsh but providing structure and guidance to help your child feel safe and secure Self–care matters: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritize your own wellbeing so you can be the best parent you can be. Take time for yourself, manage stress, and seek support when needed Embrace imperfection: You’re not going to get it right all the time. Apologize when you make mistakes, forgive yourself, and remember that learning and growth are ongoing processes for both you and your child Enjoy the journey: Parenthood is a unique and extraordinary adventure. Savor the good moments, be present in the little things, and find joy in the everyday interactions with your child.

Remember, every child and family is different, so find what works best for you and embrace the messy, joyful journey of parenting. Much love, Sarah x Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love: Sarah is a marriage therapist, life & love and relationship coach, end–of–life consultant, an independent and bespoke funeral director and holistic celebrant. She provides holistic care, mentoring, guidance, healing and transformation for individuals, couples and families at their most important times of life & love – at end–of–life, in love & relationship, and in ritual and celebration. Sarah has a relationship online course for couples called “Creating a Miracle Marriage” and a free resource and video series for families facing dying, death and grief called “Landscapes of Life & Love and Loss”. To find out more, visit www.sarahtolmie.com.au and www.miraclemarriage.com.au

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

STRIVING FOR MEDIOCRITY: The art of letting go BY SELINA CHAPMAN, PSYCHOLOGIST

As a mother, a partner, and a psychologist, I strive for mediocrity. I am aware this sounds strange, and I hope you keep reading to see what I mean. I find in a world of ambition and social media influencers we are inundated with images about making the extraordinary an everyday thing. There is an illusion of order among chaos with beautifully edited shorts of idyllic life, parenting and partnerships parading through our social media feeds. Even with the insight that we are watching an edited post, knowing that there is a team working behind the scenes we cannot help but get caught up with the ambitions of a beautifully organised pantry, carefully choreographed family dances or the manipulated spontaneity of the carefree lifestyle influencer who seemingly has their stuff together. That is why I strive for mediocrity. When real life is around me; the kids might be sick or don’t want to go to school, and there are household chores piling up, the mental load of being the hub of a family can easily get overwhelming. Real life is every day, usual, typical,

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and ordinary. And I love it. I strive for it and when I find myself being overwhelmed, I aim for simplicity, and reducing some of the chaos if I can.

expectations for us that are in the realm of extraordinary, such as the idea of ‘perfection’ in our homes, appearance, or relationships.

By focusing on my needs, and the needs of my family, I can more effectively prioritise my life. As a mother, I can easily slip into the habit of putting my needs last or not at all. I work at it and remind myself that it is not selfish to take the time to fill my cup. The world can wait. The kids can wait. Life can wait. For a while at least. And in that time, even two minutes can refresh, recharge, and nourish.

Yes, letting go is easier said than done. It’s because we have an emotional attachment with our expectations. We hold on so tightly at times, that letting go can seem an insurmountable task. Through ACT, we can give ourselves breathing space, room for reflection and mindfulness.

By letting go of unrealistic expectations, we can gain a lot more. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fantastic way of living life that I wholly recommend. In a nutshell, ACT is about accepting I am who I am (warts and all) and making a commitment to change in areas that are not working for ourselves. Acceptance is about acknowledgement, rather than liking. We simply are who we are, no more and no less, in a non–judgemental way. Expectations can be more idealistic and less realistic, such as wanting more from a significant other than what they are capable of. It could be having high

Real life is every day, usual, typical, and ordinary. And I love it. I strive for it and when I find myself being overwhelmed, I aim for simplicity, and reducing some of the chaos if I can Here is a fun activity to do that can help. A piece of A4 size paper or cushion works well. Hold this up against your nose and with eyes straight ahead, think about what you can see. Most of our vision will be obscured by what is

letting go is easier said than done. It’s because we have an emotional attachment with our expectations. We hold on so tightly at times, that letting go can seem an insurmountable task directly in front of us. Emotionally and mentally, we can feel overwhelmed, maybe trapped, sometimes anxious. We may say to ourselves, “I AM anxious”, or “I AM overwhelmed”. Now take a deep breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth, whilst moving the cushion/paper at reading level. Still looking straight ahead, now what can you see? How big is the paper/cushion now? It has stayed the same size, yet our perception and perspective has changed. We can see a smaller obstacle amidst resources, options, and support. We can say to ourselves, “I am FEELING anxious” or “I am FEELING overwhelmed”. Take another deep breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth, whilst moving the cushion/ paper as far as you can holding on with your fingertips. How big is it now? Our perspective has changed again. We can

say to ourselves, “I am NOTICING that I am feeling anxious/overwhelmed/etc”. How are your arms feeling at this point? A bit tired? Do you think you can walk around and live life holding onto this ‘emotional baggage’ easily? Breathing in and exhaling, let go of what you are holding. Maybe it has been easier to let go at this stage. In this exercise, we have created objectivity and a literal space in which to acknowledge and validate our thoughts

and feelings. Only after we have done this, can letting go be an easier and more successful option. I hope you give it a try.

Considered a gold standard expert in Australia on ACT, Dr Russ Harris has excellent and free resources available on www.actmindfully.com.au and on YouTube.

The Heart and Mind Collective 14 Renwick Street, Wyoming, NSW, 2250 Phone: 02 4327 9435 | Fax: 02 4312 6761 admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au theheartandmindcollective.squarespace.com Monday — Saturday 8am – 5pm TheHeartandMindCollective

Selina Chapman is a psychologist at The Heart and Mind Collective in Wyoming, who works with all ages seeking empowerment and support. Selina says, “Seeking support for mental health can be about maintaining wellness as well as having extra help as and when we need it”.

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

SIX STEPS TO

e v o l self

BY SAM & JORDI WOODS

“Self love” is such a broad term. It can be how we feel about ourself, what we do for ourself, how we hold ourself, and the value we put on ourself. Self Love is defined as “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.” [Brain & Behaviour Research Foundation] We are here to tell you that there is an opportunity for EVERYONE to experience self love and learn how to make it part of your everyday life, no matter where your confidence and/or self value levels are currently at. As stylists and image coaches we have seen how the effect of self love can positively impact a person and simultaneously all of those around them. We are very much advocates for the belief that there is nothing selfish about self love and there is nothing vain about being confident in your own skin and how you choose to project yourself to the outside world.

cebook.com/VibrantCon-

WHY DO WE STAND BY THIS? Firstly, if you don’t love and care for yourself and take responsibility for your nstagram.com/vibrantcon-

mental, emotional and physical health why should you expect anyone else to? Secondly, you can’t give what you don’t have! By this we mean if your “cup is empty” or you are not filling yourself with “self love” then you don’t have as much to give to others. This is where humans can start to become exhausted – physically and mentally – resentful in some cases and generally projecting a less than loving vibe around them. As stylists, the one thing we wish (and hope we can help with) is that more people are able to gain the confidence to be comfortable in their own skin and embrace themselves wholeheartedly. Ultimately, we want everyone to acknowledge and accept they are worthy of self care, self love, self respect and self confidence. We know everyone has their hang ups (we do too!) hence we have created this “Six Steps To Self Love” checklist for you to ensure you feel confident no

NEW PODCAST OUT NOW Join mother-daughter style duo Sam and Jordi Woods in their new podcast FEATHER & HEART as they talk about the fashion industry, beauty, culture, life and style. It’s a unique insight into the style and beauty world, sharing their knowledge and the passion they have for the VibrantConcepts brand.

Listen on all good podcast apps, or go to vibrantconcepts.com.au

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matter your age, lifestyle, size, gender or budget. These six steps can be adapted to everyone in the household, so why don’t you all start on a “self love” journey together as a family!? SIX STEPS TO SELF LOVE Stop comparing yourself to ANYONE, even who you USE TO BE. Live in the moment, accept where you are, what you have and only focus on you! Each morning wake up and say a positive affirmation to yourself. “Today I am thankful to my body for…..”, “five things that make me

VIBRANT CONCEPTS

*strong/brave/compassionate* are…..”, “two things I like about my physical appearance are……”, “I am….. and today I am going to show up with confidence”. Create an affirmation that resonates with you and start your morning on a positive note Discover your assets and energy colours and learn what to avoid. You can do the spiritual work, but sometimes you need the help of a stylist to compliment the mental work you are doing with wardrobe items and knowledge that enhance your natural beauty Do one thing for yourself each week that is a luxury, you are worthy of it!! Whether it be a bath, reading a book, watching the sunrise, having a facial, a DIY pedicure. Gift yourself something that says “I love you and you deserve this” Wear things that make you smile! Be it accessories, particular colours, nail polish, lipstick. Put something on, that lights you up Be kind to yourself and know you won’t always feel amazing and that is okay too!

For those with a family, try sitting around the table and listing two things you like about each person. Be sure to not make the two things just physical compliments, it is so important for yourself and your children to feel that they amount to more than just their looks! This exercise can be made into a fun game where everyone will be ultimately empowering each other

with their positive talk and loving compliments.

your personality” or “you look like you are having fun wearing that colour”.

Special Note: Adults and influencing figures, be aware of how you speak to yourself about your body, your abilities and your personality traits. Those younger than us often learn by listening and mimicking what they see and hear and we want to be a positive role model to them.

Self love doesn’t have to be a huge declaration of “I love myself” but it does need to exist. So start by changing the conversation you have with yourself in your head and the words you say to yourself and those around you.

Self Love Compliment Tip: If you have a little one, instead of saying “you look pretty” or “you look handsome”, try saying “you have a cool style”, “I love how you put that outfit together, it suits

We hope this article helps you to be brave and love yourself unconditionally. Vibrantly yours, Sam & Jordi Woods xx

Understanding styling and fashion is one thing. Having a super natural flair for making everyday people look incredible is another. Once you’ve met Sam and Jordi Woods, it’s hard not to catch their infectious passion for dressing to match your own lifestyle, personality and charisma. Through their consultancy ‘Vibrant Concepts’, Sam and Jordi have transformed the lives of thousands. Let Sam and Jordi show you how to look and feel fabulous everyday at their Style Studio in Erina – learn the art of illusion dressing, colour matching, styling, translating fashion trends and savvy shopping with their unique VC Signature Styling Systems and services that are truly personal and really work! To contact Vibrant Concepts phone 0425 221 676

Shop online activatefoods.com.au or instore Shop 2/222 The Entrance Rd, Erina

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

MY TEEN (AND I) NEED HELP! Navigating mental health services for teens BY ALEXANDRA WILSON (AMHSW; CSW; MAASW; BSW USYD)

Raising teenagers is difficult at the best of times, but even more so if your teen is struggling with mental health or behavioural issues. Unfortunately navigating mental health services can be far from simple. Mental health treatment is not a ‘one–size–fits–all’ approach. There are some key factors to consider when getting help for your teen. These are the factors that can help you make informed decisions and find the best treatment fit for your teen.

SEVERITY How much are your teen’s symptoms affecting their life and yours? What counts as severe? Factors such as: Suicidal thoughts or actions Self harm Eating behaviours that are having a significant impact on health Hallucinations, delusions or other signs that someone is losing touch with reality Symptoms that are stopping someone from doing what they usually would (e.g., Attending school, work or other enjoyable activities) If you identify severe symptoms in your teen, the most appropriate mental

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health support may come from a public mental health services (such as the local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service), or a specialised private service such as a private hospital or a private service that specialises in higher levels of support.

TREATMENT HISTORY Has your teen tried other mental health treatment in the past? Are things still not improving? If previous treatment attempts have failed, it may be your teen needs a different approach. Look for the following: Services that specialise in medium to long–term support programs, rather than brief interventions Services that have experience and knowledge managing complex and long–term mental health needs Services able to offer a different kind of approach than your teen has tried before (e.g., Tried CBT with no success? Try DBT, EMDR or ACT instead – see table for more info)

Don’t ever think your teen is just too ‘difficult’ or ‘complex’ for treatment to work – they just haven’t found the right treatment yet! Keep looking and asking for help – it’s out there! different specialities that take different approaches. It’s the fit that matters. Try the following: Look up reputable information about your teens symptoms and see what type of treatment is recommended (see attached table as a guide) Look for specialist practices that target those symptoms. For example, if your teen is struggling with anxiety, look for a service that specialises in anxiety and works with teens. If your teen is struggling with self harm, look for a dialectical behavioural therapy service that targets those specific problems.

SPECIALTY KNOWLEDGE What specific problems is your teen struggling with? It’s important to match the right treatment with the right person. Think about it like this: if you are having chest pains you don’t want to see a podiatrist! It’s the same with mental health – there are many

A FINAL CONSIDERATION Don’t ever think your teen is just too ‘difficult’ or ‘complex’ for treatment to work – they just haven’t found the right treatment yet! Keep looking and asking for help – it’s out there!

Mental Health Access Line (Central Coast): 1800 011 511 Lifeline: 13 11 14 Mindful Recovery Services: (02) 4660 0100 mindfulrecovery.com.au

TREATMENT OPTIONS TYPE OF TREATMENT

SYMPTOMS TARGETED

OVERVIEW

PROS & CONS

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Anxiety/ Depression Skills focused Pros: Widely practiced Adjustment disorders Targets distorted and Strong evidence–base NFD (neurological functional unhelpful thought patterns disorder) 6–10 session treatment duration Cons: Limited efficacy for complex symptoms Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)

Emotion dysregulation Skills focus and therapeutic Pros: Strong evidence–base Self harm/ suicidal relationship focus Designed for more complex Difficulties w/ engagement Medium to long term treatment and ‘treatment–resistant’ (eg. teens) Groups, 1:1 sessions and support conditions Disordered eating between sessions Complex PTSD Cons: Not widely practiced Borderline Personality Disorder (in full) 12–months plus for full program Higher cost due to intensity and duration of treatment Trauma Therapy PTSD Focuses on talking about recalling traumatic memories

Pros: Treats underlying cause of symptoms

Eye Movement PTSD Uses eye movement exercises Desensitisation to process past trauma Reprocessing (EMDR)

Pros: May relieve symptoms quickly for ‘simple’ trauma (eg. 1x traumatic event)

Cons: Not safe for those with Complex – PTSD; risky behaviours or suicidality

Cons: May not be safe for those with Complex – PTSD; risky behaviours or suicidality Acceptance and Anxiety/ Depression Based on concepts of acceptance Pros: Fair research base Commitment Therapy Emotion dysregulation and commitment to identified May benefit those who (ACT) Adjustment disorders goals and values tend towards control themes Uses metaphors and other cognitive concepts to illustrate Cons: Not many practical ideas /body–based skills Requires cognitive processing skills May not be suitable for risky behaviours Alex Wilson is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Director of Mindful Recovery Services and the Central Coast DBT Centre, providing psychological treatment and support for adolescents and adults. Alex is passionate about dispelling myths about mental illness, and is highly skilled in dialectical behavioural therapy. She is an experienced public speaker and provides consultation to other professionals on managing difficult behaviours in teens. Alex lives on the NSW Central Coast with her partner, 2 young boys, 2 goats, a bunch of chickens and a cheeky puppy named Axel.

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

EFFECTIVE WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR CORE sight!) n

i p u – t i s a t (and no

BY LOUISE HURLEY, MumSafeTM TRAINER OF THE YEAR 2022

How often do you tell yourself that you need to strengthen your core? Most people have this thought after experiencing back pain or after the Christmas period. Years before I became a mum’s fitness professional and a MumSafe™ trainer, I was baffled by how I could strengthen my core. I felt like I was consistently going to the gym, I was active every day, but I wasn’t seeing any progress. Here’s where I was going wrong: I was measuring my core strength by how my abdominal wall looked. I didn’t have a visible six pack and I therefore thought that I didn’t have a strong core. I didn’t understand how my core muscles were made up, how they worked together and what I should do to strengthen them other than sit–ups and crunches.

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So that’s exactly what I did, I stuck to doing just sit–ups, planks and using the ab machines at the gym. Whilst these were not inherently “bad” exercises for my core, I personally found them a bit boring and they definitely were not the most effective way to increase my overall core strength. Obviously now, being an experienced mum’s fitness professional I know much

I was measuring my core strength by how my abdominal wall looked. I didn’t have a visible six pack and I therefore thought that I didn’t have a strong core

A strong core means no back pain, good pelvic floor function, good ribcage mobility and the ability to lift heavy stuff, like your children without over–straining other muscle groups more about how to get a strong core. It’s my job! I’ve helped hundreds of mums strengthen their core and improve their health. So, here are my five most valuable tips and pieces of advice for strengthening your core effectively. Understand your core Your core is made up of your diaphragm (the large flat muscle under your rib cage that helps you inhale and exhale), your pelvic floor (the group of muscles at the base of your pelvis, which supports your internal organs), your back muscles and four layers of abdominal wall muscle at the front, including your deep core (helps to stabilise our torso), obliques (twisting and turning) and six pack muscles (flexion, like sitting up). All of these muscles work together and all of them need to be strengthened, which needs more than just sit–ups and crunches. Think outside the box Moving in different planes of direction with resistance is a great way to

A N Z A C D AY P R O U D LY P R E S E N T E D B Y

strengthen your core. Add in twists, turns and bends. Anti–rotation exercises are also fantastic for building deep core strength. Look up Pallof Presses on the internet for a starting point (they’re one of my favourite core exercises). Start off light if you’re using weight and gradually increase the weight as you get stronger. Going too heavy too soon may lead to a back injury. Increase your rib cage and thoracic (top section of your torso) mobility Lack of movement and mobility through the rib cage section of your torso can lead to the over–use of particular core muscles, making them tired, tight and inefficient. Practising breathing into your rib cage as opposed to up into your collarbones is a great place to start. Using a foam roller to gently arch and flex your back is also effective at increasing thoracic mobility. Strengthen the muscles that support your core, like your glutes (your bum muscles)! Your core muscles work as a system with other muscle groups to help you move and stand. Strong glutes will help ease back pain and improve the way that you stand as well as helping you lift things from the ground. Start light and gradually build up the weight or resistance that you use

Progressive overload (gradually increasing the weight you use over a period of weeks or months) builds muscle and reduces the risk of injury. You don’t need to have a six pack, a flat tummy or a small waist to have a strong core. A strong core means no back pain, good pelvic floor function, good ribcage mobility and the ability to lift heavy stuff, like your children, without over–straining other muscle groups. If you’re pregnant or newly postpartum always seek the advice from an experienced exercise professional with trusted qualifications in pre and postnatal movement.

Check out Louise’s podcast or visit her website for more info strongmums.com Strong Mums Gosford strongmumsgosford

Louise Hurley, owner of Strong Mums and the Body Resilient Mum podcast is on a mission to help mums to return to exercise safely and realise that they are so much more than what their post–baby body looks like, at any stage of motherhood. Find out more at www.strongmums.com

The Palmdale Group will host ANZAC Day Ceremonies at both Palmdale and Greenway on 25th April, paying respect to the memory of our service men and women. Services and Wreath laying ceremonies will be held at both Palmdale and Greenway.

Palmdale Lawn Cemetery & Memorial Park 57 Palmdale Road, Palmdale Commencing at 9am, the service will be held adjacent to the Defence Force Memorial. Greenway Chapel & Memorial Gardens 460 Avoca Drive, Green Point Commencing at 11am, the service will be held adjacent to the Defence Force Memorial. Palmdale Phone: 4362 1203 Greenway Phone: 4369 2013

palmdalegroup.com.au

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

FEELING NOSTALGIC? REMINISCING ABOUT

s e m ga

BACKYARD from 1970s WORDS BY DORIAN MODE

As the weather heats up this summer, I’ve been reflecting on the nostalgia of how we used to entertain ourselves in the backyard in the 1970s. YELLOW BRAKE ROAD If you weren’t rich enough to own a swimming pool in the 1970s, the next best thing was the Slip ‘N Slide. This was invented accidentally when its inventor saw his son sliding on wet painted concrete at his home in California and thought: ‘This kid’s gonna break his neck’. So he took a strip of plastic and sewed a tube into the side, forming an “irrigating duct” to which his garden hose could attach. It’s still available for purchase today but was taken off the market for a while in the early 90s. While kids are fairly mailable, your beer–gutted dad, sliding down the ‘yellow brake road’ holding a can of KB and a damp cigarette bobbing in the corner of his mouth, going faster than a Qantas share portfolio, might indeed break his neck. This is what happened, resulting in numerous lawsuits in the US. My chum Pete says he cracked two ribs on the slide some years ago while

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playing with his kids. (It now says “not recommended for adults” and is back on the market.) There were Slip ‘N Slide secrets of course. You needed a big run–up. And you never placed it at the end of a footpath as the slides inertia was unpredictable. Particularly, if you used the secret ingredient: a bottle of mum’s jade green Palmolive detergent. Indeed, there was an ad on telly with Madge, a bottle–blonde manicurist, telling a customer she was soaking her hands in said dishwashing liquid. ‘It’s mild on hands while you do dishes,’ says Madge. ‘It’s green,’ replies the shocked client. ‘Yes. You’re soaking in it,’ she adds. The customer looks perplexed before peering down at her feet. ‘And my pedicure? It’s blue.’ ‘Yep. Harpic Toilet Cleaner. Works wonders on your bunions.’ At this stage, Madge’s long–suffering boss flags her into his office. ‘Madge, we are going to have to let you go.’ ‘What on earth for?’ ‘Well, first there was the Palmolive incident. Now this new “Harpic Pedicure” of yours. And last week a customer complained that you died her hair with Kiwi Boot Polish.’ ‘But these are all products we simply have lying around

There were Slip ‘N Slide secrets of course. You needed a big run–up the house!’ Anyway, I digress. The Palmolive turbocharged your sliding experience. But my wife Lydia says she remembers the detergent stinging her eyes as a kid on the slide. Nonetheless, no summer was complete without that grass kill on your front lawn, where the yellow strip was left for a month where it subsequently killed off dad’s lawn. A summer garden tattoo. TOKEN TENNIS I’m putting it out there that McEnroe never made a Wimbledon final by playing totem tennis – which like Slip ‘N Slide, you can still purchase today. It was kinda lame. It was simply a tennis ball attached to a cord connected to a vertical pole with a coil on top. Inevitably, the ball would become tangled, and you would be left wildly swinging your racquet in an ever–

shrinking arc till you bashed each other. Overseas it was also known by other brand names such as Zim Zam, Tether Tennis, Swingball and in the UK under the patent, Unbelievably Crap Tennis. Annoyingly, my childhood friend, Jamie McDougal, used to turn up to play Totem Tennis dressed like Bjorn Borg: headband, wrist bands and wearing inaptly named Dunlop Volleys, all freshly painted with that white paint we used to use. Irritatingly, he would grunt with each double–handed strike of the ball. “Really?” I would say. “It’s Totem Tennis!” You always drank Tang at game’s end. This was an orange powdered drink that tasted like radiator fluid flavoured with asbestos. No matter how hard you stirred it you never got rid of the powdery texture. But the tennis stars all drank it on the telly. Sure, they did. In the way John Newcombe always walked into a bar after a game of doubles and ordered a schooner of Cinzano. RUSH HOUR One of my favourite neighbourhood games was Bull Rush – also known as British Bulldog/ Red Rover/Cocky Laura. It was banned at our school for being too violent. (And this was the 70s. And I went to a famous rugby school.) So we simply played it in the local park. It was all about rugby tackling. However, each time someone was taken out by a Ray Price–style grassing tackle, they, in turn, became one of the predators in what quickly devolved into a Lord of the Flies contest of betrayal. Someone who you thought was your best friend, would suddenly target you because you were slow or wore glasses or both. You’d hear them taunt you from the middle of the field. ‘You take out Mad Malcolm and I’ll cream the Piano Nerd.’

Show the kids some good old fashioned fun this summer and build your own Slip’N’Slide? TWANG The game Lydia used to play with the girls in her street was the mysterious ‘elastics’. I remember girls playing this game for hours in the neighbourhood. It was played with three or four people (or two and a chair) and a long piece of elastic fabric (it was never rubber) that was tied in a loop and placed around the ankles of the players. The third or fourth player would then jump over different parts of the elastic. With each successful jump, the height of the elastic was raised from the ankles to the knees, and then the waist. Lydia, a dancer, says she was crap at elastics for some reason. Group skipping was equally a terror for her as she’d inexorably wait for the giant rope to garrotte her before a chorus of groans from the cool kids.

But like Palmolive, the secret was the ‘mini bat’. This was a great leveller. A regular bat and a moth eaten tennis ball put the batsman/person (Lyd played with her family too.) at a distinct advantage. You see, it was impossible to resist the Pavlovian impulse to smash the tennis ball into the ‘grandstands’ i.e. Mrs Warboys’ Rhododendrons. The mini–bat also made the game slightly less macho, which I always liked. In the way a fat man playing the ukulele

ASHES WEDNESDAY Of course, this essay on backyard games from the 1970s wouldn’t be complete without mentioning backyard cricket. We all adored this game and played it year round. But I mostly remember it in summer, under azure blue skies with no sunscreen or hats and the grating of cicadas as we’d play long into the twilight. Every Australian knows that ‘over the fence’ was six–and–out and any catch off the roof was taken one– handed and crowed about for hours. The gentleman’s rule was you were never out the first ball. And it was always hit and run. The wicket was an old metal garbage bin we used to have in the 70s.

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Nonetheless, no summer was complete without that grass kill on your front lawn, where the yellow strip was left for a month where it subsequently killed off dad’s lawn. A summer garden tattoo will always make you smile. But I recall that perennial irritating fielder on the boundary: my inaptly named Golden Retriever. She would never “retrieve” anything but rather snatch any rogue

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tennis ball and bolt with it, chased by a chorus of angry children, thongs flapping like maracas. Sometimes she would catch the ball on the full, which meant you were out, and the bowler became the new batsman. I secretly think she knew exactly what she was doing and loved the game. Show the kids some good old fashioned fun this summer and build your own Slip’N’Slide? POSTSCRIPT Oh, when I was a student at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music and living in Surry Hills in the 80s, a game we all played – thinking we were hip – was the French game of Boules. This was essentially lawn bowls wrapped in a baguette. I’d be there dressed in black, wearing a beret in the 40–degree

summer heat, and smoking a French cigarette, hooting in my schoolboy French “Cette cigarette a le goût d’une mouette morte” (This cigarette tastes like a dead seagull.) Le Rainbow Warrior était une terrible erreur (The Rainbow Warrior was a terrible mistake.) Les vacances européennes de Chevy Chase étaient–elles réalisées par Cocteau? (Was Chevy Chase’s ‘European Vacation’ directed by Cocteau?)

CENTRAL COAST KIDS DAY OUT

e t a d e h t e v Sa

SUNDAY 5TH MAY 2024 Central Coast Kids Day Out is set to be even bigger and better in 2024.

SHINING BRIGHTLY – Healthy Minds, Strong Bodies, Resilient Kids = Happy Families The message of Central Coast Kids Day Out is loud and clear this year – building strong, happy, healthy and resilient families in this beautiful community of The Central Coast in which we all are privileged to reside. Central Coast Kids Day Out (CCKDO) has provided an affordable family event for kids and parents since 1999. For 25 years CCKDO has been not only an affordable family event, jam packed full of new free experiences, activities, themed and sensory areas, carnival rides, but also with loads of free advice and resources for families on the Central Coast. The focus of Kids Day Out is Early Intervention. In these days of rising rents and mortgages, housing shortage, increasing cost of energy and food, families are under pressure like never before which impacts both parents and kids. There

is wonderful support available through government and non– government agencies. Central Coast Kids Day Out provides a marketplace to showcase theses support services as well as supporting our local artisans and businesses in with family friendly products to purchase, share and enjoy. Central Coast Kids Day Out was initiated to connect families with the services available to them, to promote these services and to provide a fun affordable day out for kids aged 0–12 year old. Entertainment this year includes the best of our amazing local talent PLUS performances by everyone’s favourite blue heeler Bluey and her sister Bingo presenting their Live Interactive Experience and PAW Patrol – meet Chase, Marshall, Rubble, Skye and Ryder. See them perform live! Great reciprocal SPONSORSHIPS, ACTIVITY CONTRIBUTIONS and STALLS are still available. Email us on info@cckdo.org If you have something to offer for the wellbeing of kids and families we’d love to hear from you.

SAVE THE DATE! Stay in touch via our website and social media and we’ll see you on Sunday May 5, 2024!

For more detail about Central Coast Kids Day Out visit https://www.cckdo.org or find us or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/CCKDO

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

See your passion with prescription

s e l g g o g g n i m swim BY SAM SAVVA, PRACTICE MANAGER AND FRAME STYLIST,

Swimming goggles make it easier for swimmers who need vision correction to see clearly underwater. They are perfect for anyone who would rather not wear their glasses in the pool or risk the dangers associated with swimming in their contact lenses. One of the main benefits of wearing swim goggles is that they protect the eyes against chlorine and saltwater, which cause stinging and irritation and in extreme cases some bacterial infections. Prescription swim goggles look just like regular off–the–shelf swimming goggles but cater to your vision needs. The best way to explain it is instead of having a standard clear lens for your goggle, a prescription corrective lens will provide you with either short–sighted or long–sighted visual assistance required for you to see clearer. In addition to having short and long sighted lenses available, there are some other options for those more complex prescriptions. For example, some prescriptions might also include Astigmatism or higher prescriptions. Most swimming goggles come in 0.50

steps so you may have to select the nearest power. However, you will need to consult with your Optometrist on which prescription will be suited to your vision needs.

or come visit us at Adrenaline Optometry, where we stock the widest range of performance eyewear on the Central Coast and hand selected from boutique brands.

CASE STUDY John is a beach swimmer at Terrigal Beach. He currently wears glasses with a prescription of –2.50 in his left eye and –3.25 in his right eye. He finds it difficult to see under water as his short sightedness is impeding him from being able to see the amazing wonders of the ocean as he cannot see anything clear from 1m or beyond. He also finds it challenging to adjust to the glare as his current goggles do not have a UV protection coating.

All of our sports swimming goggles and prescription dive mask or snorkels can be found on our website and available in store. Prices for a complete set from $169 to $440. We have some ready to be purchased and some can be custom made to your needs. Please allow up to three weeks for a custom swim goggle. See your passion and go after it!!!

He is thinking about purchasing prescription swim goggles. I would recommend that he purchases the ANTI–FOG prescription swim goggles corrective lens with 1x lens of –2.50 and 1x lens of –3.00 with the adjustable head–straps. We want to keep the corrective lenses as close as possible to the current prescription. I recommend the –3.00 over the –3.50 because over correcting the lens could possibly result in eye strains, headaches, or dizziness. If any of this sounds confusing, please speak to your local Optometrist,

Adrenaline Optometry 1/15 Church St Terrigal NSW | 02 4339 0900 Team: Dr Baz, Sam and Bailey adrenalineoptometry.com.au adrenalineoptometryterrigal

adrenalineoptometryterrigal

Adrenaline Optometry – Born from a desire to provide cutting edge eyecare, our mission is to upgrade your vision with innovative technologies, exclusive brands and the latest optical lenses. Enjoy expert service at our independent and locally owned practice! We aim to elevate the humble eye test! Our Optometrists use sophisticated equipment to take a digital fingerprint of your eyeball, improving the accuracy of our prescriptions.

O N T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES

Foundation for life Book a tour! We’d love to meet you. 37 Bundaleer Cres, Bensville NSW p. 4368 3377 coastcs.nsw.edu.au

Blast off

WITH THE SMEDS AND THE SMOOS

at The Art House Wyong

Soar into space at The Art House this February with The Smeds and The Smoos. Adapted from the award–winning and hugely popular picture book by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler, this new stage play promises music, laughs and interplanetary adventure for everyone ages three and up! A story about love, family, discovery and overcoming prejudices, audiences may also recognise The Smeds and The Smoos from the animated adaptation from ABC Kids. In this space–aged take on Romeo and Juliet, The Smeds who are red, never mix with The Smoos who are blue. That is until a young Smed and Smoo fall in love, and despite strong disapproval from their families, end up uniting their estranged races through their gorgeous purple baby.

The Smeds and The Smoos are also The Art House’s first Education programming of 2024, with educators across the region encouraged to book a theatre excursion to see this exciting new theatre work from the same company that brought beloved children’s books, The Gruffalo and Room on the Broom to life on stage. Dedicated school group performances are available.

Adapted from the picture book by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler Monday FEB 26 – 6PM Tuesday FEB 27 – 10AM and 12:30PM* (*Tuesday shows are dedicated school excursion performances) DURATION 55 minutes TICKETS Adult: $25.00, Encore Members: $20.00, Child Under 12: $20.00 Family (1A & 3C or 2A & 2C): $75.00, School Groups: $15.00

SELL | BUY | PROPERTY MANAGEMENT Blake Gray 0448 822 123 bg@apexestateagents.com @bg_mylifeinrealestate

The Art House Presents CDP with Tall Stories’ production of THE SMEDS AND THE SMOOS

thearthousewyong.com.au (02) 4335 1485 CONTACT DETAILS Kristina Reddaway (02) 4335 1485 kristina@thearthousewyong.com.au

@unlockedwithblake

FEB/MAR 2024 – ISSUE 128

INDUSTREE GROUP REVOLUTIONISES PPE WASTE MANAGEMENT WITH EPICYCLE: A Game–Changing Recycling Initiative Industree Group, a leading Australian producer of premium Personal Protective Equipment (PPE), breaks new ground with the launch of Epicycle, a pioneering recycling program designed to combat the growing menace of PPE waste at worksites nationwide. In collaboration with TerraCycle, a global leader in recycling innovation, Industree Group introduces a cutting– edge recycling program tailored for safety glasses, safety gloves, and disposable respirators. Epicycle initiative: rethinking safety waste challenges Tackling the distinctive waste hurdles faced by the manufacturing industry, Industree Group and TerraCycle unveil custom–designed recycling boxes as the cornerstone of the Epicycle initiative. This program represents a significant step in diverting PPE waste from landfills. Molly Picklum, Pro Surfer and Industree Group Brand Ambassador, remarks; “I’m excited about the launch of Industree Group’s groundbreaking recycling program, Epicycle. This initiative transforms PPE waste into new, useful life, preventing it from ending up in landfills or our oceans. Partnering with businesses actively working towards a sustainable future resonates deeply with my passion for the environment”. The Epicycle initiative embodies Industree Group’s and TerraCycle’s shared commitment to sustainability and

responsible waste management. TerraCycle ANZ General Manager, Jean Bailliard shares;”PPE has traditionally been considered a hard–to–recycle waste stream because it consists of different kinds of complex, composite materials including hard and soft plastics, leather, and fabrics. For this reason, we are proud to join forces with Industree Group to provide a recycling solution for a waste stream which often ends up in landfill. This initiative is a significant stride towards minimising PPE waste and accelerating the transition to a Zero– waste economy in Australia.” Driving sustainability across the board Epicycle is the latest addition to Industree Group’s robust sustainability portfolio, including solar panel installations, reduction of stretch wrap usage, energy–saving measures, and an incentive program for hybrid/electric vehicles. Industry accolades like Silver Status EcoVadis certification and SCS Responsible Forestry Certified attest to Industree Group’s global recognition for sustainability efforts. Carbon Zero certification since 2011 underscores Industree Group’s unwavering commitment to offsetting its carbon footprint. Industree Group CEO, Jon Fleming, affirms; “Sustainability isn’t just good for the environment – it’s the key to a brighter future. By curbing our environmental impact, we’re paving the way for a better tomorrow. Our commitment to sustainability is a genuine investment in a thriving future”.

The Impact of PPE Waste In the wake of the global COVID–19 pandemic, the surge in PPE usage has compounded an already alarming environmental issue. Recent data reveals a concerning rise in PPE waste worldwide, with millions of tons1 finding their way into landfills or oceans annually, amplifying pollution and environmental degradation. The Epicycle initiative emerges as a timely and impactful response to this crisis, setting a new standard for responsible waste management in Australia. About Industree Group: Industree Group is an Australian–owned and operated innovator in the design and production of premium Personal Protective Equipment (PPE). With a commitment to sustainability and environmental responsibility, Industree Group strives to lead the way in fostering a culture of safety and conservation. About TerraCycle: TerraCycle is an international leader in innovative sustainability solutions, creating and operating first–of–theirkind platforms in recycling, recycled materials, and reuse. Across 21 countries, TerraCycle is on a mission to rethink waste and develop practical solutions for today’s complex waste challenges. The company engages an expansive multi–stakeholder community across a wide range of accessible programs, from Fortune 500 companies to schools and individuals. To learn more about TerraCycle and join them on their journey to move the world from a linear economy to a circular one, please visit www.terracycle.com.

References 1 Andeobu L, Wibowo S, Grandhi S. Medical Waste from COVID–19 Pandemic–A Systematic Review of Management and Environmental Impacts in Australia. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2022 Jan 26;19(3):1381. doi: 10.3390/ijerph19031381. PMID: 35162400; PMCID: PMC8835138.

ON T H E C OA S T – FAM ILIES

FEB/MAR 2024– ISSUE 128

A community focused on happiness, education and belonging.

A place to shine

Call us on 4384 9000 to book a tour.

1 Reads Road, Wamberal Open from 6:30am to 6pm Monday to Friday Catering for Children aged 0–6 /alkiraearlylearningcentrewamberal

1 Reads Road, Wamberal

www.alkiraelc.com.au Alkira_elc

/alkiraearlylearningcentrewamberal oad, Wamberal

www.alkiraelc.com.au www.alkiraelc.com.au aearlylearningcentrewamberal Alkira_elc

alkiraelc.com.au

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4384 9000

/alkiraearlylearningcentrewamberal www.alkiraelc.com.au Alkira_elc

On the Coast Families / Feb Mar 24 edition

Articles inside

Industree Group revolutionises PPE Waste management with epicycle: A game–changing recycling intiative

Blastoff at The Art House Wyong WITH THE SMEDS AND THE SMOOS

See your passion with prescription swimming goggles

SAVE THE DATE - Sunday 5th May 2024 - Central Coast Kids Day Out

Feeling Nostalgic? Reminiscing about Backyard Games from 1970s

EFFECTIVE WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR CORE and not a sit-up in sight!

MY TEEN (AND I) NEED HELP! Navigating mental health services for teens

SIX STEPS TO SELF LOVE

STRIVING FOR MEDIOCRITY: The art of letting go

Matters of life & love

Is your child's vision classroom ready?

SECURE YOUR FUTURE: the crucial role of superannuation in your small business journey

Options for studying that suit you at ST PHILIP’S CHRISTIAN COLLEGE GOSFORD

COULD YOUR FIERY, EXPLOSIVE AND STRONG-WILLED CHILD BE A HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON (HSP)?

Managing the heat – Dealing with conflict in seperated families