DECUSSATE MULTIDIMENSIONAL

Issue No. 4

DECUSSATE Spring • Summer 2020

FAT E F U L R E A D I N G

TSZ KAM

L O V E YO U R S K I N

Tiffany Wilson of Gilded Serpent Divination talks about tarot reading, the left handed path, and the spiritual journey through divorce.

Big Chicken paints their way to the top. Artist Tsz Kam’s shows us their new work and makes us turmeric chicken salad sandwiches. Yum.

Making a spa day informative and uplifiting, Shauntavia Ward’s mission for skincare is bigger than selling a look. It’s about self-care & love.

M U LT I D I M E N S I O N A L I S S U E

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We are all Multidimensional beings

We are all Multidimensional beings

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Tsz Kam came to Texas when they were 13 years old. Culture shock wasn’t the word they used when they started attending American schools, they would say it was more of a disappointment. Growing up in post colonial Hong Kong, the educational system had strict guidelines on perfection. Being the smartest and the best was easy for Tsz. Fitting in to their new surrounding was never the goal. Find out how they went from taking their high school to state in mathematics to majoring in studio fine art at UT. Page 20

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LETTER

TABLE OF CONTENTS Issue No. 4

Spring • Summer 2020

8. Multidimensional

Beauty + Nutrition 10. Nutrition Beyond the Plate 32. Love Your Skin

Mental Health 12. Inside a K-Hole

Spiritualism 16. The Path of the Gilded Serpent

Cover Story 20. Tsz Kam

Reader Submission 40. Charlotte Friend

MASTHEAD X FOUNDER & CREATIVE DIRECTOR Monica Valenzuela

EDITOR-IN-CHEIF Natalie Stevens

ASSITANT EDITOR Raenesha Thompson

WRITERS

Andrea Gold Ciara Birley Charlotte Friend Natalie Stevens Raenesha Thompson Monica Valenzuela

CREATIVE LEAD Cristin Cornal

PHOTOGRAPHERS Edgar Ramirez Jinni J.

PEOPLE & CONNECTIONS Ciara Birley

CONTACT/SUBMISSIONS/ADS info@decussatemag.com

SPECIAL THANKS Anthony Rooze Brittany Jackson Kailin McGary Nicasio Rangel Devyn Clemence William Barnard

ON THE COVER

Tsz Kam by Jinni J.

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MULTIDIMENSIONAL A

ugust 2019 was the hardest month of my life. The publishing dream job I had been at for over two years sat me down and told me straight that they could no longer afford me. For months, I had a feeling that things were changing at my job, but I was too naive to admit it. I played dumb most days, hoping that if I did my job well, then they couldn’t possibly let me go. I had been made to feel I was a part of a family unit for years, but the last few weeks I spent at my job, my bosses had become distant and cold. The day they let me go, my boss printed out 20 pages of search results off of Indeed. He handed it to me confidently as if my next job would magically appear within these pages.

They gave me the option to finish the day out, or the week, it was up to me. I decided to leave a few days later. A day seemed too short and a week seemed too long.

Then, as if the universe wasn’t satisfied enough with my situation, I realized that my period was two days late. Initially, I didn’t think much of it, other than that I was stressed and starting to fall into a depression.

I was working on updating my portfolio, and I had asked a friend to help me on a project. We met at an ice cream shop to talk and catch up. In the middle of our conversation her attention went to a group of kids waiting in line. She interrupted and said, “Would you ever have children?” My face went completely numb, and I didn’t know how to answer. I might have had said something vague or generic, like, “Maybe one day.” I was caught off-guard by it, because it’s as if she knew and was speaking directly to my inner-conscious. The next day, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive.

August didn’t end there. It kept tormenting me. Telling my partner I was pregnant put some strain on our relationship. We had moved fast and became serious very quickly, but telling him I was pregnant four months in wasn’t something either of us expected. We fought about where our relationship would go. What we would do. What I would do.

Ultimately, the decision I would have to make.

We broke up for a few weeks, and in that time I was so lost. I had no job, no partner, and no idea how to navigate motherhood. September was creeping in, and all I wanted was for time to stop. I needed more than what reality was giving me. I needed to have some revelation and I needed to have it quick.

But that’s not how the universe works, right? No. Not at all.

I put a hold on the magazine. At the time I believed I would never be able to create another issue. It seemed impossible to create the magazine without the resources my publishing job had given me. Then with everything else in my life, how could I continue pursuing my dream?

My revelation did happen, sooner than I had expected and it happened in the Chilis parking lot. I asked my partner to meet me for dinner one night. Chili’s just happened to be what I was craving. We sat in my car and talked about how we felt and what we really wanted for ourselves. We were both scared and had no idea how to be parents. But every other option didn’t feel right to us. We talked about how our realities seemed to be playing tricks on us. Everything we had thought we knew no longer made any sense. He knew being a dad would be trans-

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formative for his life and for his soul. For me, it was about timing.

My whole life had changed, and it would continue to change. I could go with the change or I could rage against it. I decided to go with it.

I no longer felt that the universe was tormenting me, but instead was handing me beautiful gifts covered in terrifying wrapping paper.

In the last nine months, change has been the only constant. September did roll around, and I found a job. Not a dream job, but a job that allowed me some stability, health insurance, a reliable paycheck, and would work with my maternity leave. I told my family and friends about my decision to become a mom. Though it was a shock to some, it was received full of love. My relationship with my partner became stronger, and creating a new family with him brought me so much joy.

During this time I knew that I didn’t want to lose sight of my dreams.

Before my relationship, my job was what brought me joy. The magazine was a direct product of that. Before my baby, my magazine was my baby.

I decided to continue the magazine. I took a break in the fall, but starting January 1st I would work on a new issue.

I asked some of my closest friends for help. I was grateful and relieved that they were down to become part of this magazine. Not only help in the produuction but take on roles that had been difficult for me to accomplish. Their past experiences allowed the magazine to become more than I had originally envisioned. It gave it some much-needed credentials. I had a team with me. A community of support.

When coming up with the theme I knew I didn’t want it to be easy. Everything that was going on in my life, I knew that I needed the next issue to mirror what I was going through. I came up with multidimensional because I needed to look at the world in a multitude of ways. Intersectional feminism isn’t just one-sided so why would anything else we study be the same? People are multidimensional. Everything we are from our behaviors, our jobs, our roles, our identity. Everything we encompass does not just exist in one dimension.

No matter what you believe in or the last thing you remember from science class. We exist infinitely beyond and with-in our own realities.

I’m writing this about 12 days shy of my due date. No one could’ve prepared me for what is about to happen, let alone in the middle of global pandemic. I started this isssue hoping to dig into some controversial topics that went beyond our rational thinking, but what resulted was finding out how complex people really are. One event has completely changed our lives. Adapting to our new normal has shown us that we are more than just cogs in a machine. It has shown us that our basic needs are more important than these ideas society has created for us. It has proven that we are multidimensional beings trying to survive.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. But change is constant, and I’m going with it. Some days I wish I was in another reality. A reality a little less frightening. But that’s not how the universe works, right?

Monica Valenzuela Founder

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Nutrition Beyond the Plate Health Coaching for Women Taking On The World

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By: andrea Gold • Images provided by: Counter/Balance

Beauty • nutrition

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o there I was, living the dream. I was at the top of my professional career doing a job I loved, that defined who I was as a person. A job that came first and foremost above all else, not because it had to, but because I wanted it to. It was at this point I was in the midst of navigating a divorce after 11 years, and was about to board a plane to attend my father’s funeral. He had just passed of Alzheimer’s Disease when I received the news. My mother, who had been his primary caregiver for the last decade, had her own fatal diagnosis; a rare and aggressive form of dementia to call her own. On top of dealing with the loss of my marriage and my father, I was going to have to quit everything I knew and loved to stay home to take care of my mother.

The word ‘devastated’ does not encompass the emotional atom bomb that was quickly becoming my fractured life.

Beyond the chaos of figuring out the logistics at the time, I was gravely concerned for my own long-term health.

Everyone in my family had always eaten relatively healthy, exercised, and no one was overweight or diabetic, so what, if anything, could I do to protect myself? Leaving my future up to fate suddenly felt like a losing battle plan. I dove headfirst into the latest research behind one of America’s fastest growing epidemics, and what I learned changed my life... and my fate.

Although food and nutrition are major factors for longevity, there are other equally important factors that are

scientifically proven to make major impacts. Sleep, stress, human connection, fulfillment, and food all have a multidimensional affect on our bodies, both for today and the future.

My mother had been stressed out her entire life. I truly believe when my father passed her cortisol-infused house of cards had nothing left to hold itself up and came crashing down in a flurry of cognitive decline. All the veggies in the world couldn’t save her from her body never having the time to recover from a lifetime of constant strain to its exhausted nervous system.

I quickly realized that my high-powered, all-consuming, high stress/high pressure life I had created for myself was about to lead me down an eerily similar path if I didn’t change and as soon as possible. Alzheimer’s Disease begins to manifest in the brain 30-40 years before symptoms begin to show, and all the salads and exercise in the world weren’t going to protect me from these other aspects of my life that seemed so insignificant at the time.

I mean really, we hear ‘self-care’ and we think of spas, expensive retreats, an excuse to drink wine at lunch, and maybe throwing in some afternoon yoga. When I started to look at this foreign concept as ‘taking care of myself’ like my life depended on it, all my priorities started to shift. Coming into this new perspective is something I felt compelled to share when so many women are in the same position that I was. Killing themselves day in and day out because...well, because we can. Because in our society that is what it takes to be “successful”, and we feel like we can take it. I’m here to tell you we don’t have to kill ourselves. Balance involving our food, stress, jobs, fulfillment, and time are not only possible, but necessary.

I created Counter/Balance to help empower other women who are driven, successful and taking on the world to create sustainable health and happiness for a long and healthy life.

Owner Andrea Gold For more information please visit www.counterbalanceme.com decussate x Spring /Summer ‘20

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Fight or Flight or a Third Option Undisclosed: Nothing Anxiety and depression keep my brain in constant fight or flight mode.

Therapeutic ketamine allows me brief moments where I experience neither fight nor flight, just pure nothingness.

By: Natalie Stevens

mental health

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y relationship to therapeutic ketamine, and to my mental health in general, is a bit of a scattered mess, despite how long and hard I’ve worked to contain it all into a neatly packaged box. However, I hold true to the opinion that we should talk about all mental health experiences loudly, often, and at all stages of the experiences.

Yes, this article is essentially about therapeutic ketamine. Yes, the same ketamine that serves as a horse tranquilizer, that catapults its users into the famed “k hole”; ketamine is a dissociative narcotic and a commonly used drug in anaesthesia.

Please, please note my disclaimer before I dive into anything, first: I am in no way providing medical advice or advocating for any treatments over others. Everyone’s mental health journey proves to be different and complex in its own right, and you should consider every option available to you and consult a psychiatrist before using any drug to treat your mental health. I write this article purely as a personal account of my struggles and successes with drugs and with the mental illness community at large.

I started my mental health journey in 2010, when college classes felt impossible to complete or even attend, and my roommate suggested the UT mental health services after she found me sobbing uncontrollably, unable to leave my bed. I was soon diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), dysthymia (long-term moderate depression), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and I’ve accumulated a number of other “maybe

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mental health

this” and “probably that” disorders over the past ten years.

Doctors have prescribed for me a dozen or more oral medications, therapists have put me through hours of extensive Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Fear Immersion Therapy, and others. My parents (god bless them) and I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on therapy sessions, medications, fees, retail therapy, acupuncture, meditation, you name it. I have been desperate to try anything and everything to function, to just feel okay.

Sometimes patches of sunny, sweet feelings slip into my life like sunlight through blinds, but I always find myself back into dull aching dissatisfaction, then sharp hopelessness, then sheer, all-encompassing panic at how to even survive.

It’s a familiar pattern that I’ve been repeating for honestly as long as I can remember. Certain events and behaviors can trigger the pattern to begin or to reset, of course, though I have no central trauma or relationship around which my mental illness circles. My neurochemistry is just fucked up.

Come the beginning of 2019, and I felt as miserable as ever. My career was derailed, my relationship with my first love was falling apart, and I couldn’t fucking stop sleeping.

Suicide never seemed a viable option for me, but 18 hours plus of unconsciousness per day sufficed. Dreams felt more real than waking hours, and I preferred it that way. After another tearful session with my psychiatrist, in which I expressed my hopelessness of ever feeling free of the doom and gloom, he recommended therapeutic ketamine. This was the second doctor to tell me of its purported success in healing.

Expensive and intense, therapeutic ketamine sounded like a terrifying and infeasible option. I had experience with weed and alcohol only, and enjoyed neither in terms of how it affected my psyche; anything beyond that, and especially the thought of any hallucinogenic drug, made me shiver.

I was also in between jobs, without insurance, and would need to rely almost solely on my parents for financing this $3,000 upfront cost.

I began the first of six intramuscular ketamine injections at Roots Behavioral Therapy here in Austin, merely weeks

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Suicide never seemed a viable option for me, but 18 hours plus of unconsciousness per day sufficed. Dreams felt more real than waking hours, and I preferred it that way.

mental health

after my partner proclaimed he didn’t want me, and just before beginning a new full-time job which was twenty grand below my desired pay rate and outside of any scope of my interest. My world had fallen apart, and I was primed and ready for a savior.

Within hours of my first injection, I felt lighter in mood, at relative peace with having been dumped and in the middle of a career lull. I received a surge of energy that was neither manic nor uncomfortable, but just productive and regenerative. Each of the successive five injections proved more enlightening than the first, and with that, I began to tout that therapeutic ketamine had saved my life from depression. Ketamine was Jesus and I was a born-again Christian.

Now, I’ll interrupt the narrative with the part everyone wants to know: the drug trips, what it’s like to enter the fucking “k hole”. Depending on my method of ingestion, ketamine begins for me not unlike drunkenness, and this stage can last one minute to ten minutes. Then, the hallucinations begin. Sounds become blurred into images, I enter a series of rooms (my parents’ RV, a version of my studio apartment, the Roots Behavioral Therapy room in which I first experienced ketamine, rooms from my childhood). These rooms twist and turn like I’m on an expensive theater set, and the walls soften and fold in around me, until everything becomes this soft,

pink foam. I am usually frightened at this point, as though my body is being smothered, and I call out for help, and ask whether I am safe and okay. I become part of the foam, and I receive this feeling of non-personhood, of relief from my body, and it is followed by a peace I can’t describe. It is freedom from self, ego death, horrifying in its disconnection to people but beautiful in its blend with the inanimate and unfeeling. The comedown from this non-person stage is entertaining and filled with different hallucinations and images each time, influenced by my mood, the music playing, the things which occupy my mind that day.

What I described may sound mild, intriguing, or familiar depending on the level of psychotropics you’ve tried. Maybe you’re also at the end of your rope with your mental illness.

I don’t intend to persuade you to try therapeutic ketamine or not at this point in my journey. I maintain mixed feelings about it myself. I’ll always feel gratitude to the drug (and to my parents, my friends, my doctors) for helping me survive last year without sleeping myself into unemployment and homelessness. Ketamine’s chemical taste lingers a little too long, in that it eventually reels me back to the beginning of the pattern--medications lose their efficacy, and my neurochemistry is just, well, fucked up.

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The Path of The Gilded Serpent How tarot helped guide the various dimensions within

By: raenesha thompson • images provided by: gilded serpent divination • Illustration by monica valenzuela

Spiritualism

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hen I went to meet Tiffany Wilson, owner of The Gilded Serpent, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had only interacted with her at events, and it was a passing hello, or to compliment her outfit. Upon entering our agreed meeting spot, I scanned the patrons of the coffee shop -- and I found her. Jet black hair shaping a face adorned with cat-eye shaped glasses. A black blazer covering a black blouse with a pair of velvet black leggings. I will be the first to admit my experience with tarot (and tarot readers) was limited, but I was ready to dive in and know everything about Tiffany, her path, how she perceives the idea of multiple dimensions, and how she has transformed into The Gilded Serpent.

Rae with Decussate Mag: So how long have you been reading professionally?

Tiffany Wilson: After learning and studying the practice, I began reading professionally about five years ago.

How were you introduced to tarot?

T: I got an email in my inbox about how to connect with tarot intuitively. I enrolled in the class and bought a tarot deck. My first tarot deck was The Wild Unknown, not a good deck with beginners.

When I started that class with this deck, I was like, “I don’t get it, uhh, I don’t see that.” I think it’s really important as a new tarot to start with the Deck of Decks, The Rider-Waite deck. It is really the deck pretty much all decks are based on. So having an understanding of all its symbolism is very important. I did the class: I did about five classes, I think there were 30. It was like a month-long thing, and they gave us an exercise each day. And it really took off for me. I felt like I didn’t need the course after. I was feeling it my own way. I’d pull out a card a day and see how it made me feel, and compare that to what the traditional meaning is, to see how different my intuition was. That’s when I learned different cards mean different things to me, and they might not always align with the traditional meaning. But I learned by reading professionally that following my intuition was the most important part of using them when connecting with the person I am reading for. It never fails that it is somehow connected to that individual.

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Spiritualism

You got an email for the course, I assume were you looking for other practices or something connecting you spiritually? Or was the universe sending you an email?

T: It was a Facebook group I was involved in. [The admin] had my email and sent us newsletters, and one of the things was this tarot course being offered. And I was like, “hmm, okay,” so it was a kind of universe message saying “do this.”

Was the Facebook group about spiritualism and occultism?

T: It was, it was spiritualism, but like, light? Kind of introductory level, like casual. I feel like a lot of the ladies in the group were just beginning their spiritual journey outside the Abrahamic religions. I have to say I was already curious about that path because I had decided I was atheist, but then felt like something was missing from my life. And so I decided I needed to find some spiritual path that felt authentic to me. So I began to study and work with Wicca. My studies and practice grew from that to full-blown occultism and left-hand path.

So you claimed Atheism, moved to Wicca, do you identify as a Wiccan?

T: I currently do not identify as Wiccan, but still have some practices. Only instead of attributing the empowerment that I receive from the practice to a god or goddess, I attribute it to myself as the god or goddess of my own world. That’s the left-hand path.

So how did you start moving to the left-hand path?

T: I don’t remember the catalyst specifically, but somewhere on the world wide web I began to see some articles and information about Luciferianism, and [I] identify with that specific path the most. I do agree with Satanism for the most part as well, but largely with Luciferianism. Luciferianism is more about the academic aspect of the left-hand path and creating enlightenment through your studies and journey. Satanism is more of an activist group (look up Lucien Greaves - she loves him.)

I’ve been to a few rituals and ceremonies locally. I have a dear friend who is involved who told me about it and invited me to participate. It’s such a beautiful ritual, it’s something I think anyone who is curious about the left-hand path should experience. It is fraternal and there are different levels. I don’t participate on that level but I do enjoy the gnostic mass. I really have a tendency to view more things from a more academic perspective than participatory. I enjoy experiencing all of the pageantry surrounding these things. I feel like those who don’t believe in magic and are total atheists there is something about the ritualistic part of things that tend to stir 18

up action in the individual. It’s all psychological. You’re more likely to invite things in your life that match the energy of your psychological and magical aspiration, and if you think of that from that perspective, manifestation is a real thing. I am still kind of involved in some ceremonial aspects privately for my own practice. I do observe the new moon and full moon, my rituals are largely done in the bathtub. Over time my bath rituals have grown and developed. My ingredients depend on what I’m feeling, I go with that vibe and add to it. And of course candles. I have a great friend who makes candles for your ritual and intention purposes. She is phenomenal: I will say, “this is how I feel right now, and here is some artwork I like, I want something based on this.” It’s beautiful. She herself is such a spiritual and magical person. She and I will sit and smoke a joint together and connect on the magical level.

So what are your thoughts on the growth of tarot?

It has become more mainstream. You see big publications talking about feminism and magic or feminism and tarot. What do you think about that?

T: I love the fact that it’s becoming more well-known. I think it’s an unbeatable self-development tool. I think as a species, we need more self-development. Most cultures have hammered into us that being focused on the self is selfish, and to become martyrs. And we do martyr ourselves to please other people, because we are afraid of going against the expectation that we need to be “all give and no take.” And I think self-development in any form is a great way of saying, “I need to take some time for myself, I want to be a better person and be more authentic and find what authenticity is for me.” I feel like tarot is such a good path for that. That’s the indoctrination of the puritanical beginnings of our nation.

Spiritualism

I think it’s so important to develop yourself separate from social conditioning. Asking yourself, “how do I really feel about this really deep down inside aside from being raised like this, how would I really feel?” I think tarot aid people in that. Tarot is a deck of cards that offers perspective, that’s its job. If you aren’t thinking about your question in a way you haven’t considered before, you aren’t doing it right, and that [thinking is] what causes growth.

On the subject of multidimensional, have you had any experience with connecting with the other side or a dimension or reality outside of our own?

T: So as far as connecting with the other side is concerned, I don’t feel that, because I really try to focus more on connecting with myself. I feel like my inner world is complex enough without me trying to reach out to something beyond this world. Not that I’m saying that isn’t a thing, and not saying that I don’t believe in it, because for some people it is a very real experience. Like I said, I do have a magical practice, but like, I said I really rely on myself as the source of power instead of giving that power away to anything outside of myself. When I’m working with any kind of deity, like Kali Ma, I

am evoking [them] within. And I am asking myself, specifically with her energy. I am asking, “what do I need to remove from my path that is impeding my progress?”

Would you say you don’t look at multidimensionality as beyond you but within you?

T: Oh absolutely! We are multidimensional as individuals, where each person is a separate entire universe, and they create their own universe with their own thoughts, actions, beliefs, and rituals. Everything. Everything you do is a ritual, so I think that it’s important to look within, [and] I nurture those dimensions within. So whenever they radiate outwards you’re creating something you enjoy. Lovely. That’s true magic to me.

When you said, for example, you would channel Kali Ma would you say that is reaching into other realms?

T: Yes, but still within, because I feel like all deities are manmade, and you can’t help but see they are created in one specific aspect of self. I’m convinced this is the path for me because I always felt like I have more control of my life than anyone or

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Spiritualism

anything else does. So anything that supports that logic for me I’m all about. It’s kind of funny, being on the other side of what people think Satanism and the left-hand path is, I can’t help but smile. When we were talking about multidimensional and it being more internal, one of the multidimensional practices I have for myself is knowing when it’s time to work on something. Like a challenge that comes up. So I am divorced and dating, and one of the challenges that came up with my dating life recently was learning to be comfortable with being alone. Building myself from there, because before I was building myself as I was.

I was married when I began this practice and now that I’m not married and not in a relationship, it has been a challenge for me to further establish my identity as myself. I moved into my own apartment in July, and ever since then I have done everything I can to make it mine. And that included getting rid of every single thing my husband and I shared. So in doing that, I’m creating an atmosphere around myself that feels like a cocoon for me. It’s like my identity is everywhere. There is nothing left of me as a married woman, so that person is gone, but her experiences now come forward, and I am honoring that as the evolution I am experiencing right now.

Obviously the whole process of going through the divorce woke some of those feelings up. Was there something in the finality of it that that also woke

We are multidimensional as individuals, where each person is a separate entire universe and they create their own universe with their own thoughts, actions, beliefs, and rituals.

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something up internally?

T: You know, it’s funny you ask that because yes, it did awaken that. When I started my spiritual journey experience, I was staying at home. And while my husband and daughter were away at school and work, I was meditating pulling cards, taking a spiritual course to get in touch with my intuition, journaling, crying. It was everything. All of that went on for about three years, [and] all of that brought me to the point where I was able to see that my ex-husband and I weren’t in alignment, and it empowered me to acknowledge, “hey, maybe it’s time to let that go and become an independent person again.” Because there was a lot of friction between me and where I was as a powerful [and] independent woman -- even though I was married. And my ex-husband who is probably like, “who is this person? This is not who I married.” My ex-husband and I are really good friends, and the divorce was so easy and peaceful.

We didn’t even have attorneys, we just did it online. The day we went to court to finalize [the divorce], we had lunch before we went and afterwards, we went and hung out on South Congress together. It was like no big deal, and he let me live with him for some time so I could save up money. So when I did move, I was able to spread my wings entirely. When I moved into my apartment, I was like, “this is all mine!” So I systematically begin to replace things one at a time with things that were authentic to me. It’s funny, my ex-husband will come over to drop off my daughter and will be like “wow this is really cool,” and I’ll look at how he redecorated the house and think “that’s pretty badass”, so we’ve both grown and it’s kind of fun for our friendship.

That’s really refreshing to hear. We hear so many stories about how ugly divorce can get.

T: It can be a bear, but it doesn’t have to be. If the two individuals are not totally narcissistic and really try to make things peaceful, not only for themselves but realizing, “I am connected with this person until I die, because I have a child with this person,” and in some capacity or another you’re going to have this person in your life, so it’s worth it to try and make the relationship work. Just in a new direction. So we’ve become fantastic co-parents and even better friends than we were before. We text each other all the time sending pictures of cool furniture we found, and it’s like, “this is good, I like this better.”

Now you’re building on what I believe you said was loneliness but it’s independence from not being in a relationship or marital relationship?

T: Yes. So now I feel I have released an archetype of being a wife and come into the archetype of independent single female. And with that comes a lot of realization. Like that you don’t have to compromise with someone or ask for permission to do something. The first time I felt that is when I bought the dishes, I was like, “oh! I can buy stuff that he never would have

Spiritualism

liked!” When I met him I was in my early twenties. I was just a baby, and I hadn’t really gotten to the point in my life where I was in touch with myself. So I made the mistake a lot of women make of “marrying my father”, and he was very father-like in our relationship. He would do a lot of things for me, and a lot of times it kept me from growing. So fear, for a little while, kept me from separating, because now I have to do this shit by myself. I thought “I would so much rather do that than continue on in this way.” So releasing him was probably the best decision I ever made for myself, and that’s to say he’s not a bad person, he’s just not right for me. Honestly, I don’t think I was very right for him either. He went on to date a woman who’s more like him, and I feel like he’s more comfortable and he seems happy.

It’s very interesting you said that multidimensional was inside of us, and now we’re discussing a very different side of you. We haven’t even spoken about tarot in a hot minute! There’s so much of a universe inside of us and we’re almost switching planets in the Tiffany universe. From tarot and divination.

Now, to a part of Tiffany involving relationships with others, romantically, platonically, being a parent, co-parenting. It’s really solidified that idea, that there could be stuff beyond us but there is a whole universe in us.

T: Exactly! And one of the things about tarot reading that echoes that is the archetypes. In the whole deck, there are different aspects of personality. And whenever you draw those cards, it’s asking you to focus on that aspect and how it pertains to your question. Or it can help you formulate a question for your question whose answer is the answer.

That sounds like a complicated math problem

universes are in a collision working together, and it’s easy to lose sight of the fact. I wanted to talk about when I read people what I find myself doing is showing people who they are by asking them questions and I help them arrive at the conclusion with the answers, it’s called the Socratic method, basically what I do when I lay the cards down and have a conversation about what that could mean to them and their current path. I start to realize,“so this is what their world is like,” and I can see where they need to focus on self-development. So then I ask questions that help them arrive to the conclusion they need to be at. A lot of times it’s people overcoming indoctrination and the conditioning of their families and all of those things to really focus on self-development, because nobody really wants to do it because it’s challenging. When you think of self-development, it’s more than just virtual, it is challenging everything you’ve ever been taught and starting over again. So I kind of guide people in that direction, like “this is what needs to happen for you to feel better about the situation.”

You said when you started practicing professionally, it was not too long after you started doing the practice for yourself. Are there any situations or scenarios when you read for other people where it starts something in you?

T: Yeah, because any time you talk to someone about their situation you can’t help but compare to your own. A lot of times, if you’ve been through that situation and you have some solid advice on how to get through to the other side, especially when it’s emotionally challenging, it helps you empower other people. And it helps you to challenge yourself because there are going to be people who come to you with their own set of beliefs, and you have to put ego aside and open up and receive. Everyone has a gift of perspective to give, and I’m here to receive.

T: *Lets out a laugh* It kind of is, because we’re complex individuals. If you’re familiar with Carl Jung, he brought archetypal energy into psychology, and that’s where the inner dimensions really rule. In that logic, we all have those different roles that we play in our lives. We take off that “I’m working” hat and put on the “it’s happy hour and have some fun with your friends” hat. Some evenings you put on the “parent” hat and when you go to work you put back on your “work” hat. Whenever it’s time for you to set one aside to focus on the other, sometimes there’s a little bit of shadow within that archetype that challenges you as a whole. With relationships, my challenges with loneliness have really helped me to discover ways to enjoy time by myself. As well as understand that the reason I’m alone right now is because I need to be to get back in touch with who I am, without being a wife and a partner. So whenever I do reenter another relationship, I will have that connection.

We have a tendency to lose that when we’re in a relationship we tend to mind-meld with our partners and become a singular mind. Having this time gives you an opportunity to solidify that you are just you, and they are another person. Our two

Do you still get a lot of people who come to you with the intention of thinking you read the future?

T: I do and I have to remind myself that everyone is on a certain path, and they are on a certain place on their path, and it’s not my place to judge. If they haven’t figured out what tarot is yet, it could very well be it is up to me to introduce them. I do so with grace and I’m polite and patient, and they’re like, “this is so cool,” and boom I’ve created another tarot reader!

And someone is going to discover the beauty of reading for yourself and growing from that. I always try to be really cool and really open and let people take what they want from it.

Because the last thing I want anyone to feel when they come to me is judgment. We all deal with enough of that shit already, and there’s not going to be any of that at my table.

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By: Monica Valenzuela Photography by: Jinni J Illustrations by: Cristin Cornal

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was on my way to visit a friend at a tea shop during The East Austin Studio Tour. The tea shop was located in a new development off of Springdale road. The concrete parking lot looked freshly-painted.

There were only a few vacant retail spaces with for-lease signs. The rest of the development had brought in niche shops that fit in well with the type of demographic East Austin had created. It was Saturday afternoon, and I kept complaining that there were too many people out and about. A usual complaint I always make in a city with a population of over one million. As I’m navigating through groups of pedestrians to find my destination, I’m caught off-guard by a bright mural on a large grey steel wall.

The familiarity of the mural gives me a sense of calm in the crowd. I smile very wide while a large yellow macaroni noodle stares right back at me.

I must get this straight. I’m not new to the noodle. The mural I had seen was by local artist Tsz Kam. I had actually been obsessed with Tsz for some time. I first discovered them at a local Bossbabes event. They were a featured artist, and what drew me to their work wasn’t just a noodle. It was everything that surrounded the noodle. The vibrant colors popped off the canvas. The pigment of the paints looked otherworldly, as if Tsz flew out into the solar system and hand-picked rare elements to mix into their acrylics. The subject matter they created could be anything from plants to creatures to their own image, and somehow make perfect sense or no sense at all.

Reaching out to Tsz for an interview felt right. Not only did I love their art, it was really the main inspiration for the topic of this issue. Visually, each piece that I had seen done by Tsz sent me to another place and time. I use the word multidimensional because I didn’t just have one feeling when looking at their work. I would feel multiple things, or would see so much. I could see myself tucked away in the armpit of a creature or see myself nestled softly in neon-colored plants. I could fall asleep in their art, and I could stay there forever.

Tsz wanted to meet at their place for the interview. Their art had become their full-time job. They worked from home and felt comfortable in their makeshift studio. They had been working on new art for an upcoming show and wanted to show me what their process looked like. They even offered to make me lunch. As a hungry pregnant lady at the end of her second trimester, I wasn’t going to turn down a free meal.

I show up to their place late as usual, but they don’t seem to mind. I’m greeted

by Tsz at the door and they are warm and welcoming. They show me their living room which doubles as their studio. I see semi-exposed canvases and small heartshaped containers full of paints. We head to their kitchen where Tsz already has lunch waiting. On the menu is turmeric chicken salad sandwiches, spring mix salad, roasted carrots, and macarons for dessert.

Tsz starts to explain, “I used to work for this fancy restaurant where they made this chicken salad, and they added turmeric to it, so any time I buy chicken salad I have to add turmeric to it. I can’t have it just plain.” They serve me a plate with food and I dig in. I kind of forget why I’m there besides eating. After a few bites I snap back to reality. Oh, yeah I’m here for an interview.

I start recording, and our casual conversation shifts its focus to a more serious tone. We talk about math: a subject I’m not a fan of but seems to be Tsz’s strongest ability. In ninth grade, Tsz started attending North Shore High School in Houston, Texas. A school known more for its football and not much else. During their time at North Shore, Tsz would help take the mathematics team to UIL (University Interscholastic League) and win a state championship.

Excelling at the American school standard came easy to Tsz. Coming from a culture that always emphasized education, it seemed pretty drastic how different high school in Hong Kong was versus Houston, Texas. “Chinese people invented 24

civil service exams which pretty much is what the SAT and all standardized tests are based off of. So the culture I grew up in, we believe in testing for the best and brightest people to join the workforce and to help lead. When I came to the United States, I was already in my second year of secondary school (in Hong Kong it was based on the UK system). So since the system was different here in Texas I felt I was ahead in the type of education I was receiving.”

Tsz moved to Texas from Hong Kong in 2007.

“My grandpa always wanted someone from our family to study overseas. Actually, that’s what he wanted for himself, but he never had that chance. I look up to him a lot. I wanted to be him. I wanted to make him happy and impress him, so I decided to come by myself.

I had aunts who lived in Houston and so I got a travel visa and made my way over here. My aunts at the time had offered to adopt me but things fell through, and it ended up not working out. School ended up keeping me here. I started going to college and was able to stay here because of it. I was unsure how to get citizenship here. Time passed, and I thought maybe marriage, haha. That’s how a lot of people get citizenship, but I’m not ready for marriage. This art thing seems to be working right now. I’ll just keeping going with that.”

The impact that Tsz’s grandpa had on their life wasn’t just about visiting the United States.

Tsz wanted to encompass everything that their grandfather was. By the time they were born, their grandfather had essentially retired allowing unlimited time together. Tsz’s parents worked late nights and early mornings at a night club leaving Tsz to be raised by their grandparents and their uncle.

“I lived in this strong male-figure household: my grandfather and my oldest uncle. I was never intimidated by this traditional patriarchal set up. I just wanted to be like them.

My grandfather had came to Hong Kong from the southern region of China in a time where things were constantly changing politically but also had an affect on how people were viewed. My grandfather was seen as scholarly and he wanted to continue that image for his family. I wanted to become that. He would share stories with me and ideas that he never told anyone. I felt special in knowing that I could be his legacy.”

Tsz’s ability to excel in school was met with de-

termination from their family. It was never something that felt forced or even something they second guessed about themselves. They wanted to do well and make their family proud.

That mentality continued well after moving to the United States.

“I feel like early on in high school a lot of teenagers have trouble fitting in or trying to find out who they are, I never dealt with that. For me it was the opposite. I knew who I wanted to be, I knew who I was, I know my mission, I’m here to impress these people and show them how great I am. Because that’s what my grandfather showed me. It wasn’t until I was around seventeen that I started questioning my identity. My grandfather actually passed away right before I graduated high school. After he passed, I decussate x Spring /Summer ‘20

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was kicked into a space where I started questioning who I was.

If he’s not around then, who am I?” Due to school and the visa, Tsz was unable to go back to Hong Kong for the funeral.

“I recently talked to a friend about this. They lost their loved one in a traumatic way, but I don’t necessarily feel like what I went through was traumatic. Yeah, it was sad and difficult to not be there, but he meant so much to me, and I internalized this idea that I’m supposed to continue doing everything he wanted me to do. Spiritually I’m okay. I’m not sad in any way. I feel like he’s always with me.”

After graduating high school Tsz got accepted into the University of Texas. They moved to Austin and began majoring in studio art.

Their inspiration for becoming an artist was very similar to the majority of creative kids who grew up in the ‘90s.

“It sounds cliche coming from an Asian but anime and comic books really inspired my art. They told stories, and I’m a fan of 26

being able to tell a story visually. I’m not really into anime anymore, but when I was younger I was really into Fullmetal Alchemist. Dragon Ball Z too. My mom actually watched Dragon Ball Z when I was in the womb, so maybe that had some influence in utero. I remember thinking, Mom? Aren’t you supposed to listen to Mozart or something? haha. But I guess Dragon Ball Z worked.”

The transformation that Tsz was going through entering college was giving them perspective on their art. After losing their grandfather and trying to adapt to college in a new city, Tsz wasn’t really prepared for what the next few years would hold.

“I don’t know what I was expecting what college life would be like. I was amazed at all the parties. I didn’t understand it. I thought, Hey, aren’t we supposed to be here to learn?

Why is everyone partying? Until this day I don’t understand fraternities. I also was amazed at all the white people in Austin.

Coming from Houston and a school that was pretty diverse, going to college was my first experience with culture shock.”

Like most artists, college becomes a defining moment. A place where artists can work on their talent and abilities while discovering their style.

For Tsz, the timing of that would be almost too perfect. During college, Tsz would constantly find new things about their identity, from their queerness to how society would see them. It translated well in their art.

“When I was in college, I started investigating my self-image and how it related to my identity, being perceived as an Asian American woman, all of the stereotypes that are associated with it and how I feel about it. I was confronting myself, what I looked like to myself. As a child in Hong Kong, I was always told that I wasn’t pretty. Thats a big reason why I focused on my studies, and I did well because I got a lot of push back on my image: Well, if people think I’m ugly, then I’ll just focus on being the best in everything else.”

They look back on it now and realize it has had an impact on how they view themselves.

The culture saw their monolids as not as attractive, and their overall facial structure not as pleasing. Something so specific has an effect on young girls which has led to generations of women struggling with their image. Feeling like women don’t have options for themselves, that how they look has already been formed into

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their brain, and they can’t think past it. Even though Tsz saw it as negative, it wasn’t going to change their path. It wasn’t going to change them. It shows up in their art, but it may not be as obvious as you think.

“People aren’t getting it. I felt like each time people saw my art, they didn’t seem to understand what I was trying to say about my self-image. I start off by putting my figure out there, but sometimes when people see a nude woman, they tend to associate it with something else, or they over-analyze it. I was tired of trying to explain it so I wanted to create a symbol to replace my figure. I wanted it to be funny. I was like well a macaroni is yellow. Asian people’s skin is referred to as yellow. A bunch of macaroni look all the same, so do Asian people. There’s two holes. If you get right down to it, humans are just two holes interconnected. We’re just a tube.”

After Tsz explains to me the macaroni symbol, I can’t help but laugh. The whole time I just thought it was their favorite food. Having them explain to me what it stood for was interesting and gave me insight into their vision. Their art was about their identity, but from different perspectives. It was fun, but also a stereotype. It was serious and also sad. It was a discovery in who they were and who they were becoming.

“I’m a visual artist, so I think of aesthetics first. I always go with what looks nice. I don’t always put symbolism in there, but when I do, it comes second to how it looks. I get inspired by what I’m reading, or things I’m into at the time so my art can change over a small period of time. I enjoy having people look at it and see something different each time. Makes me feel like I’m doing something right.”

We somehow talk about other subjects that don’t pertain to the questions I wrote down, but I go with it. It’s over an hour now and I don’t really want to stop talking. We talk about psychedelics and how we both have never tried them. Our argument is the same. What’s the point? Life is already a trip. We then start talking about other dimensions, and how we have found ourselves in this unique one. The conversation leads to Tsz showing me a book they are currently reading by Ursula K. Le Guin called Cheek by Jowl: Talks and Essays on How & Why Fantasy Matters. They want to read me an excerpt from the book. They think it will fit in really nicely with the theme of the issue.

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“The monstrous homogenization of our world has now almost destroyed the map, any map, by making every place on it exactly like every other place, and leaving no blanks. No unknown lands. A hamburger joint and a coffee shop in every block, repeated forever. No Others; nothing unfamiliar.

As in the Mandelbrot fractal set, the enormously large and the infinitesimally small are exactly the same, and the same leads always to the same again; there is no other; there is no escape, because there is nowhere else.

In reinventing the world of intense, unreproducible, local knowledge, seemingly by a denial or evasion of current reality, fantasists are perhaps trying to assert and explore a larger reality than we now allow ourselves.

They are trying to restore the sense— to regain the knowledge— that there is somewhere else, anywhere else, where other people may live another kind of life.

The literature of imagination, even when tragic, is reassuring, not necessarily in the sense of offering nostalgic comfort, but because it offers a world large enough to contain alternatives and therefore offers hope.

The fractal world of endless repetition is appallingly fragile. There is no illusion, even, of safety in it; a human construct, it can be entirely destroyed at any moment by human agency. It is the world of the neutron bomb, the terrorist, and the next plague. It is Man studying Man alone.

It is the reality trap. Is it any wonder that people want to look somewhere else? But there is no somewhere else, except in what is not human— and in our imagination.”

Tsz puts the book down and I find it to be a perfect end. I thank them for the lunch and the wonderful conversation. Before I leave, they show me some of their art for the next show called Step into the Water and You Remember Everything. It’s a collabrotive effort with their creative partner Nat Power. Nat and Tsz (also known as Big Chicken & Little Bird) have been friends since college and have worked together on many projects. Nat is currently pursuing an apprenticeship at a local tattoo shop and likes to keep a low profile. They are working hard to meet their deadline for their opening reception on March 6th. I try not to keep them any longer and see my way out. Before I grab my stuff and head out the door they catch me and say, “Wait, you almost forgot the macarons! Take as many as you want!”

“Tsz” was given to me by a fortune teller my parents took me to, it is my legal name and often a boy’s name. However, my grandfather gave me a different name that is in our family’s genealogy book, which is Sui Mui. It means “snow plum blossom”. He named all the girls in my generation with the suffix “plum blossom” because that is the national flower of the Republic of China aka Taiwan, the only place on Earth where a majority Sino population live under a democratic system. Plum blossoms bloom the most vibrant in winter, it is a symbol for resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity.

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Love Your Skin After 8 years in medicine, Nurse Practitioner Shauntavia Ward craved a deeper connection by inspiring people to feel good about themselves. In 2019 Shauntavia opened her own space, eleMINT skin health & wellness studio. She wanted to create a place where her customers can show up in their most natural state, beyond the needle.

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By: ciara birley • photography by: edgar ramirez

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beauty

S

hauntavia starts the conversation by talking about her favorite snack, chocolate chip cookies. She discovered her love of cookies at the mall, specifically at Insomnia. Her husband even included in his wedding vows that he promises to always give her the last cookie. Now that is true love. I decide to switch gears a bit. From talk of desserts to dharma.

Ciara with Decussate: What makes you your highest-self, what’s your dharma?

Shauntavia: Being grounded in knowing who I am. And that’s new. I’m 33, I’ll be 34 this year and I just really started to dive into who is Shauntavia? To take up space for who that person is and be present more.

Connect more deeply with every experience. When I feel most comfortable in my skin. Showing up for me, and not to people please.

Do you feel a connection that giving to yourself is the ultimate way you can give to others?

S: It is the only way. I had someone ask me years ago, “What do you do for self- care?” and I was mind boggled. I said go to work and I love skin but what do I do for myself? I do everything for everyone else’s self-care, but not my own. So I started to completely change the narrative and started to focus more on what I can do to ground more and pour into me so I can show up for other people. It did not always look like that for me. I used to always overextend myself to help others, which led to anxiety and the inability to control my emotions. All I needed was to take some more time to focus on me.

What are some things you do for self-care?

S: A girl’s got a thing now! Self-care starts at night. Sleep is important. I sleep seven to eight hours a night.

I love my sleep! If I sleep eight hours a night I will be happy. Once I wake up, I stretch. Just waking up my bones and muscles and saying “HELLO WORLD I AM READY!”.

Another thing I have started is hot yoga. I just feel like it gets rid of all of the things. It is a symbolism of me detoxing the drama from the week, or any negative energies. It is a place where I can go to just not think about anything and be present. I have so much going on in my life right now, but I leave it outside of the yoga studio.

I also just started seeing a therapist, which I think is going to be my ultimate self-care! Team therapy. It is 34

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so important— especially in the black community. We have grown up learning to just sweep things under the rug or we don’t tell people what is going on inside of the family. I think breaking those types of generational beliefs is so important to our well-being. Not even just for right now, but for our future generations. I want my future children to grow up knowing mom has a therapist and there is not a taboo about getting help.

Putting myself on a social media schedule. Sometimes you just go down a hole with social media. Comparison Syndrome. It can be really awful if you’re not taking breaks from it. If I feel someone’s presence makes me uneasy - I unfollow. I do not engage with the drama. I am starting to follow certain pages that focus on self-help, empowerment, or entrepreneurial things.

Self-care is a journey. It’s nothing that you just wake up one day and do perfectly. It is a process.

Where do you feel that there was a big turning point/defining point for you to start eleMINT?

time I tell this story I feel like it is more profound to me about why I decided to do this.

I was not feeling like I was getting quality skin care and the experience I deserve at any spa regularly. Especially as a woman of color! I have worked in many different esthetics and plastic surgery and the message they are driving is treatment. “We can treat that. We can fix that.”

There wasn’t enough prevention. Too many people would come in (super young) wanting to look like the next IG filter. It just wasn’t okay with me. We have to create a space where we can prioritize skin care and make it about selfcare, self-love, and well-being. Make that fun!

Help educate people on how to take care of their skin. So if they did decide to look into cosmetic adjustment/surgery they would only enhance their own natural beauty.

I felt like spas were just too expensive to go all the time. They weren’t very personal and felt pretentious. You couldn’t just walk in and ask the esthetician about products without feeling like you were interrupting. The spa setting isn’t where facials should be. Facials are too unique and too personal. I wanted to make skin-care more of a lifestyle than a luxury. When we don’t get facials - our skin suffers. I wanted to create a space that is inclusive, accessible, and affordable.

I tell this story a lot but I love to share this because I feel it is important. Every

I was intimidated the first time I came

If you could have one day of solitude, how would you spend it?

Where would you go? Any place in the world?

S: It’s funny because when life gets busy and things happen with family work, you forget about you. You are centering me back to me. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? Great question! I really love Marfa, TX. It’s the kind of place that slows you down no matter what. They have great food (I am a big foodie)! Something about Marfa is really peaceful and makes you feel disconnected. I am really big on believing you disconnect to reconnect.

I think all too often I get so busy - that I need to disconnect. Marfa is truly special. Its got such a rich artistic West Texas culture. Art keeps me inspired in everything in life.

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to you for service, because the beauty industry always intimidated me. But this very quickly changed being in your studio.

S: I need it to be different! I want to create a community. We give this exclusionary feeling to skin-care. When it is closed and behind a door, we don’t know what is going on. People become intimidated and might not try out something new.

Even you admit you were intimidated. But when you know you aren’t the only person with acne or the only person with acne who is embarrassed about it - it’s okay! I want it to be a safe space for all.

With a focus on preventative care do you feel that you have a goal to take the pressure off of people having to come as regularly?

S: Absolutely. When you are on a good skin-care regimen and you have a good esthetician, a lot of people do not need to come once a month. To be realistic a lot of people can’t afford once a month. It is important that the message I bring to my clients is that we are going to pick the best regimen for you. It’s not just about your skin. It’s about your diet, your lifestyle, and what your financial well-being is like. I want to see you thrive, but I do not want to see others go broke trying to keep up.

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I personally never thought skincare was something I could afford in my life at this level. When I heard of the message you put out about preventative care I felt a lot more comfortable with spending the money, knowing I wasn’t expected to schedule something regularly. Do you feel like this brings others to feel like they can actually afford to put money back into themselves?

S: It helps people understand their self-worth. It helps them prioritize themselves PERIOD. It is beyond skincare. That is just part of the puzzle. When people come into my space it is about the experience. Having someone to talk to, who understands your needs. Even your ability to just walk into a space that may be intimidating. We are going to make this whatever you need it to be. It is not about me or eleMINT, it is about creating space for you and your skin to thrive - whatever that looks like for you.

Something that makes you multi-dimensional that I want to highlight is that you are a nurse practitioner outside of skin-care. How do you feel this ties into what you are doing?

S: I have been a nurse for about 10 years. I think the overall message in nursing is preventative health. The overall mes-

It’s not just about your skin. It’s about your diet, your lifestyle, and what your financial well-being is like. I want to see you thrive, but I do not want to see others go broke trying to keep up. sage in retail skin care is more of a “let’s fix that, let’s treat that, let’s cover that.” I think medicine has provided a guide to me to treat my clients differently. I see it as the medical preventative aspect— not so much medical grade products— that’s not my cup of tea. But it helped me understand people as a whole. I look at someone and see all the systems. I see you emotionally and spiritually. We are trained to see people holistically. I took all of my knowledge and brought it together. Nursing helped me have a solid foundation to how I wanted to structure seeing clients in a skincare setting. I always say my nursing career and skincare have been mashed together. This has really brought me so much freedom. To create the most amazing skin care experience for you.

Do you feel there are some beauty misconceptions people have that you want to debunk?

S: I think people think there is such a

thing as perfect skin. I see it all too often. Social media and society have trained people to think there is something wrong with their skin. That is the biggest misconception. Your skin is so unique. It is your skin. Nobody else has this skin. It is going to go through changes. It’s a part of life. Skin is the largest organ on your body and it is exposed to all the elements all the time. There is no such thing as perfect skin.

Once you understand that, you can truly treat your skin. There is no cure for fixing changes in your skin. I am trying to transform how my clients associate with their skin. We try not to call anything good or bad. Just connection with how we identify with our skin. We could do a lot better as a society.

What do you want your clients to take away?

S: The top two takeaways are written on my walls. I want people to “love the skin they are in.” It is much deeper than skin. If you think about it, skin is surface level. It is what you see on the outside. When you go home at night and look in the mirror after a shower, you see yourself better than anybody. I really want people to love that person. No matter what you look like or what season you are going through.

I also want people to feel confident. On the ceiling in the treatment room it says “Your confidence is about to evolve.” That is because I want to give you the knowledge base, the tools. I want to empower you to be confident in whatever is going on with your skin. If your skin is being moody and you are getting a breakout - own it. Show up in it, this is what you are getting today. You are human, we aren’t perfect— and your skin is not either.

Also I want people to remember how they felt when they were here. That is what you connect with. It’s not all about how you look. Did you feel excited, empowered, confident, like you can go out and do anything? That’s what I want people to feel so

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they can take that back out into the world with them.

It is super cliché but beauty is really more than skin-deep.

I love that! But it is real. It is so much more. It is your mental health. Your physical health. When I look in the mirror and I feel beautiful, it has nothing to do with what my skin looks like. When people realize this, they can really show up as their best self.

Something you mentioned in a Bossbabes interview is that you are not taking any profit with eleMINT to put all the money back into the business.

You are still working your career as a nurse practitioner to help sustain this, correct?

S: At the end of the day - passion does not pay the bills right away. Ultimately it will, but it takes a lot of work to get there. I still work in family medicine two days a week. I have to support my household. There will come a time where I walk away from my career to focus solely on eleMINT. It is not realistic to quit your job to start a business. You still have to support yourself. I decided I wanted eleMINT to be more than what it is today and more than it will become tomorrow. I knew to be able to make big dreams come true, not only for the business, but to service people, I would need to put as much money as I could back into the business. So I do not take a profit at all - which is allowing me to grow the business. Which works for me right now.

It is important to outline the realistic nature that not everyone has money to just do their passion.

Which I think also stops people from doing what they are passionate about.

S: It does. You think you have to have all this capital to go for your dreams, but you don’t. You have to focus on your passion, and don’t ever stop. You will get to a point where you can eventually start putting more work into your passion but it takes time and a plan. Not just a business plan. A self-care plan. A life plan. To know what you want and how you get there. It all starts to make sense in the end. You can’t just jump into something and quit your job.

And you can’t go in thinking you’re going to make a lot of money S: If you’re doing it for the money, are you really passionate about it? It’s about doing your passion until it becomes second nature and then you are able to monetize it.

Don’t get it twisted though. Your girl doesn’t do it for free. Maybe you start off doing some free services, but then you realize how much value you add to the space you created and then the price tag goes up. It’s a balance.

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Do you do worth and value checks as your business is newly growing? It’s a fact that as you grow your worth grows!

S: Being so new I am at a steady pace right now. So I haven’t checked-in and changed the pricing structure yet. But I am sure it will change. I have had a lot of people reach out for entrepreneurial direction and guidance. The people who reach out want to have a mentor and someone to learn from.

I love it! I’m like “Oh yes girl, let’s do it. Let’s go get coffee.”

But then I am like, “do I have time for this?” So then you think about how valuable your time is. Do you put a percentage on that? But I love to give back so much, so right now I’m just doing it. Talking about boundaries may be the first thing I talk about to my therapist haha. My weakness is I am too sympathetic and care too much. I can’t help it though! I want to help everyone out. It is such a care-giver trait.

Something that people always question in the beauty industry, how do you tip?

S: I do things a lot differently. I think making skin care in-

clusive and affordable is so important. I’m not even sure the proper amount because we do not take tips here. We prefer if you tip that you donate to your favorite charity, or one we support. I want people to make skincare a lifestyle. If I tell you that your facial costs “X amount of money” and you show up with that, but then you are expected to tip. Maybe you don’t have the extra money to tip? How have I just empowered you as a human but then at the end of your visit I made you feel embarrassed? I have so many clients when we get to that point that don’t know the policy. People literally take a deep sigh and tell me how much that helps. I’m not here to be judgemental, make you feel embarrassed, or like you can’t afford your facial. I am big on the price you see is the price you pay. I would not sleep well at night if I knew I was creating financial problems with my clients.

I actually thought about doing where they can leave a beauty tip for the next person coming in.

What is your favorite aspect of yourself ? What do you love about you?

situation or conversation. I am here and I am like let’s talk about it and be about it. I am so impulsive and I love that about myself.

Right at this moment someone walked into the building and Shauntavia recognized their voice and had to go say hello. I could hear her shouting downstairs saying hello to her clients. If this doesn’t show you how amazing and outgoing she is - then I don’t know what does. At eleMINT, people are paying less than they would at a high end spa - but leaving with so much more.

Currently, Shauntavia is working on expanding her business. She is working on bringing eleMINT to a larger space where she can bring all of her new ideas for her business to life. She is crowdfunding through iFundwomen and has already raised $9,557 as of April 1st. If you would like to help Shauntavia reach her goals for 2020 you can visit https://ifundwomen.com/projects/elemint-skin

S: I love that I am so outgoing. I will literally jump into any decussate x Spring /Summer ‘20

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reader submission

Angels are different than saints, but I can’t understand why they have to be. Our language can only expand as far as we can witness.

Haven’t you witnessed an angel?

Maybe the effect of their actions...but an angel themself? A seraphim?

Not to brag, but I’m currently reading a novel, a non-fiction, and a poetry book. At. The. Same. Damn. Time. I also have a habit of reading my horoscope and tarot cards. Not to mention I havefriends...I’m like, totally popular *twirls hair around finger.* I mention these things to mention I’m feeling a synchronicity among them all. The themes in the books align with the growth in my life.

And these are topics that my friends slip into conversations before I can run my loud mouth about it. And when I flip back through my notes in my personal journal, I see the cards tell me know what was really happening all along.

Listening What a concept.

I read a tweet that we shouldn’t be looking for the signs and visions and simply live.

Being present in the moment is as powerful as my lizard brain is impatient.

So where do we begin?

Well, quite frankly, I believe that’s why we’re here.

By: Charlotte friend

AMATEUR HOROSCOPES The ladies of Decussate Magazine looked at the stars and said “naw that can’t be right.” So we decided to just make it up as we go along. These Horoscopes are either self drags or theraputic reads to our exes. Sorry if these are inaccurate but also sorry if they are too accurate.

ARIES

March 21st- April 19th I understand that you can’t have it your way all the time but did you have to make a scene at TJ Maxx because of it?

No, but that’s okay! The best part of being an Aries is that we make mistakes and then we make a bunch more mistakes and then somewhere down the road we learn.

Summer has a lot of potential waiting for you but don’t let your past mistakes force you to make decisions you are not comfortable with. Go with your gut. I know you always do. But take it easy, lets keep the public freakouts to a minimum. At least for the time being.

TAURUS

April 20 – May 20

You fucking know already what you need to do and how you need to do it. Stop doubting yourself. You’ve known your priorities since day one, and they haven’t changed much, so go ahead and write those goals on a piece of paper and start crossing shit out. You hold so much in your stomach, good and bad, and you need to release it into the world instead of swallowing it down every time it bubbles up your esophagus.

You put effort into your relationships, and they will support you no matter what, so don’t worry about offending someone or failing at something. The word vomit will happen eventually, so you might as well let it out in controlled spurts.

gemini

cancer June 21 – July 22

May 21 – June 20 In typical Gemini fashion you grew bored of your winter personality quickly and you stay ready for that summer warm-up for your hot ass to shine. So don’t be alarmed if you feel like you don’t know who you are from one minute to the next. It’s feeling like it is about time to blast some Dreamville ft. Ari Lennox and imagine yourself on a beach somewhere getting fresh fruit juices served to you in martini glasses. You are a commonly mis-understood and hated star sign, but this comes from people misplacing your confidence and honesty as bitchiness. Don’t let this make you question your self-worth. You ARE amazing and worth so much.

LEo

July 23 – August 22 Leo, Leo, Leo. I know summer is on its way and that means it’s time to strut your hot self by a pool and laugh loudest at gatherings. But maybe, take a backseat and look at yourself. But like inside yourself, we all know you already look in a mirror enough.

Lets take this summer and work on reconnecting with yourself and parts of you that need attention. I know this is a shock but there are parts of you that are neglected by no genuine attention from yourself. Attention from others isnt always the attention we always need in order to grow. Speaking of growing, maybe try a summer garden? That always humbles people the first time around.

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Please dear lort stop watching The Dodo right after you do your eye makeup.

You already know those cute ass animal videos will make you cry. You may be warming up to some summer time love coming your way - but try to focus some of that energy back into yourself. It is the summer time and you don’t want to look back realizing you may have wasted your time on a relationship not worthy of your big ole heckin’ heart.

Virgo

August 23 – September 22 You have an addictive/ obsessive personality so try something new to put your energy in to. Instead of self-loathing, turn that energy around and become as obsessed with yourself as others are with you. Start that zine you have been talking about for months and for fucks sake please don’t make it another one about conspiracy theories regarding aliens. People love seeing what you create, so keep going pushing forward even if you hit some blocks.

Sometimes you have to get a little lost to start forging a new path that’s all yours.

Libra

Scorpio

September 23 – October 22

October 23 – November 21

Just because the weather is getting hot does not mean you should sit around at home and scroll endlessly online. Stop going on to online stores and spending hours filling your shopping cart up when you know damn well that you don’t have that kind of money to spend. Use that energy to keep hyping up your friends that you love more than life itself! Just stop trying to convince all your girls to dump their boyfriends. I know you believe all of your friends are too good for anyone, but some of their beaus aren’t THAT bad.

Your shady Bad Girls Club ass always has something brewing up your sleeve. You may be in denial of this personality trait - but don’t worry even you can’t keep yourself fooled for that long. The good news is, you are very sexy and this will serve you well in your scheming. Be careful who you spill the tea to this season, as other signs are growing impatient with you and may utilize this information against you.

sagitarius March 21st- April 19th

The most opinionated of all the signs. You are a wordsmith and have a knack for building an online presence. Try not to get lost in “selling your brand” and take some time to be vulnerable and open up to the real you. I know you have got an inner freak flag and she needs to fly high right now. You would be surprised how many people will be able to relate to your freaky freak.

aquarius

capricorn

December 22 – January 19

Breathe. When was the last time you were lazy? Just sat and were lazy, you didn’t plot your next move, think of how to make something better, or start a new project. Maybe give that a shot, give yourself a break.

Sip some tea and chill. Spend a couple of hours on youtube watching “Top Ten’’ videos about not very necessary information. Just take a damn break.

Pisces

January 20 – February 18 Put the book down and please go outside and share your thoughts with a stranger. You like to call yourself boring but I’m pretty sure you’re the most interesting person in the room at any given moment but you don;t like to admit it. Spring and Summer creep up on you and every year you act surprised that people are making plans without you. Stop daydreaming and get up and do that thing you wanted to do last summer. You know, that thing you wrote in your journal that you highlighted pink. GO DO IT!

February 19 – March 20

My crystal queeeeens. You derive so much strength from nature and the gifts she has to offer us. Go out and forage some natural ingredients out in the woods to make some tinctures and tea. Your gift of zoning out can be used during this time to strengthen your meditation practice. Who ever said you can’t meditate while drinking a bottle of vino?!

submissions The back pages of Decussate are a way of featuring new and fun ideas. From comics, to poetry, to art, to literally anything we want to highlight for our readers by our readers. If you have something you would like to submit please let us know. You can submit your ideas to info@decussatemag.com. It’s like the wild west west back here. Anything goes!

We are open to everything!

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