January & February 2020
DELIGHTED SOUL
celebrating our 1st year
Letter from the Editor It’s been one year since I took a step out of my comfort zone and launched this magazine. That small step into the unknown was a huge step of obedience, and I have already seen a change in my life because of it. If you’ve been around since January, wow. Words can’t even express how grateful I am, and I pray that something in these issues have helped your walk in some way. If this is your first time reading, welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. This issue focuses on several areas of your health as many people try to get their lives back on track at the start of the year. Whether you’re a fan of new year’s resolutions or not, we can all commit to taking better care of ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically, and of course, spiritually, so let’s get to the good stuff. Happy 1st Birthday Delighted Soul! We have so much more in store for you all.
Jasmine Powell
Table of Contents
2 Friends, How Many of Us Have Them? Healthy Habits in 2020 3 Go Sis, Go 4 Valentine’s Day Looks 6 7 Michelle’s Jewels 8 Break It Down 5 TRAITS OF A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP
IDEAS BY KRYSTAL HAWKINS
TYLER KILES’ JOURNEY
FASHION IDEAS BY KRISTEN MILTON WISDOM FROM MICHELLE POWELL
A magazine for young women in pursuit of deeper relationship with Jesus.
Friends, How Many of Us Have Them? 5 Traits of a Healthy Friendship as told by Jasmine Powell (@delightedsoul)
Unspoken, often unrealistic, expectations can ruin relationships when unmet needs stir up bitterness and frustration in our hearts. Still, a friendship with no standards at all can hardly be considered healthy as there are a few things that should not be compromised. Word to the wise, if one of your friendships is missing any one of these items, try not to throw the friendship away immediately - the passive agressive decisions I made in my past have taught me that much. Consider having an honest conversation about whatever you feel is lacking, ask for your friend’s opinion about your friendship, then give them a chance to make a change (and check yourself to make sure you’re holding up your end of the bargain as well). Candid conversations can strengthen friendships and teach invaluable lessons about relationship management. Here are 5 traits of a healthy friendship in no particular order:
Honesty
Whether you like what they say or not, you shouldn’t have to ask true friend to be honest with you, they just will be. In healthy friendships, this honesty is rooted in love and never intended to hurt you or tear you dow. If you suspect malicious intent or hidden motives, be sure to first check your heart to make sure it’s not just an emotional reaction to receiving a tough message. Think about the history of your friendship and whether that person has a track record of keeping your best interests in mind.
Trust
Honesty, especially in hard situuations, will undoubtedly lead to trust. Other factors that contribute to trust are consistency and dependability. Does this person follow through? Are they a woman or man of their word? Can you call them when you need them? Are they able to treasure the private things you share with them? Trust will make or break a friendship, and while you’re thinking of who you can trust, consider your own trustworthiness too.
Loyalty
When we talk about friendships, most people say they want a ride-or-die, though not everyone can meet the expectations of that title, which, believe it or not, is okay there are different levels of loyalty. The question you should ask is whether your friend will protect or harm your name when you aren’t in the room? What I’ve learned is that sometimes we want people to go to bat for us even in the smallest of situations, but not everyone is built that way, and they’ll often think, “I thought you should fight that battle yourself ”. That doesn’t mean they’re not loyal, it could just be another case of differing expectations. If you truly believe that your friend will advocate for you and step up beside you in the toughest of situations, that’s what actually matters.
Balanced
I don’t think I know of any friendships that are perfectly balanced, but this is referring to friendships that are constantly imbalanced. If one friend is always using another for her or his own benefit, that’s out of line. Seasons change, and sometimes one friend will need more time, energy, or other resources from the other, but at some point the favor should be returned. If you feel that a friend is constantly taking advantage of you or that you’re not reaping the same benefits from your friendship, I encourage you to have a conversation. Some people genuinely don’t see how their actions are affecting someone else, especially someone they consider a friend.
Supportive
Finally, a good friend should make you want to be better, both intentionally and unintentionally. They should hold you accountable to your goals and never cause you to stumble. Your friend doing well should motivate you to do the same and vice versa. Cheer your friends on and make sure you have cheerleaders around you too. There are too many unexpected twists and turns to go through life alone.
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Healthy Habits in 2020 Ideas from Krystal Hawkins (@kryslejoye)
Happy New Year Ladies! Let’s set this year off with healthy habits in mind. Try making these small adjustments in your day and see what major impact they have on your well-being!
Morning Hydration Start your morning off by hydrating. Rise and shine out of bed and grab a tall glass of water (lemons in mine, please). Having a glass of water first thing in the a.m. can help to increase energy, boost metabolism, hydrate the body and help fight off toxins! And if you forget one morning (or multiple) – don’t sweat it. You have an entire year to get this healthy habit in check. Quench that thirst girl, before you even have it!
Words of Affirmation One thing I have learned along the way: not all 365 days will be the best. There are productive days, lazy days, days that feel overwhelming and days where you lose complete control. Regardless of what the day brings, set a healthy habit by using words of affirmation.
For me, the unpleasant days require the most use of word affirmation. Whether I feel stressed from work, overwhelmed by family or it’s just an emotional day – I overcome the pressure by standing in front of a mirror and giving myself a dosage of, “Hey, you! You know that you are a baddie, right? You can even move mountains if you wanted to, because God says so.” Matthew 17:20 reads: “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” In this scripture, God reminds us to have faith and to speak with power. Speaking positive words of affirmation can help us to manifest our goals and move forward.
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Taking Breaks @ Work This is something I really struggle with y'all. When I am swamped with work, I find myself skipping breaks or working through lunch. This is NOT okay for me or you to do. If break times have been delegated, take a break, sis! We are legally given short breaks and lunch times by employers to help maintain work-life balance and prevent burnout. Let’s stop passing up our blessings in 2020. Let’s stand firm with our breaks at work. Try standing up from your desk to take a walk around the office. Go have a conversation with a few co-workers and develop those networking skills. Listen to a short podcast online. Check out a new food spot and eat for the entire hour. Take a short nap, read a book, or find a whole new way to boost your afternoon productivity. The choice is yours, but know that skipping breaks can be more damaging than good. The best advice – start the clock and get your break time in check, boo!
Resources
refinery 29’s Healthy Resolutions refinery 29’s Healthy Morning Rituals refinery 29’s How to Keep a New Year’s Resolution
Go Sis, Go! CAREER PROFILE
Name Tyler Marie Kiles, Pharm.D. BC-ADM (@tkdaisy6) Hometown
Arlington, TX
Current City
Memphis, TN
Education High School: James W. Martin High School, 2008. Undergraduate: The University of Texas at Austin, 2012 Graduate: The University of Houston College of Pharmacy, 2016 Professional Employer: Mercer University College of Pharmacy and Rite Aid Pharmacy Position: PGY1 Community-based Resident, Adjunct Assistant Clinical Professor How long? July 2016 - July 2017 Employer: Kroger Pharmacy Position: Assistant Pharmacy Manager How long? July 2017 - July 2018 Employer: The University of Houston College of Pharmacy Position: Post-Doctoral Academic Fellow How long? August 2018 - July 2019 Employer: The University of Tennessee Health Science Center College of Pharmacy Position: Assistant Professor, Clinical Coordinator of PGY1 Community-based Residency Program How long? September 2019 - Present
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What do you love most about your current job?
I love that it gives me the opportunity to keep learning! I’ve always been a nerd, and soon after I started working full-time, I realized that my intellectual curiosity wasn’t being stimulated as much anymore. I love that in this work, not only do I get to teach students (who ask the hardest questions), but I get to keep asking my own questions and have the resources to find and/or create the answers.
What is one of the most monumental experiences in your journey?
One of the most monumental experiences on my journey was one day, my first year of pharmacy school, when my professor pulled me aside as I was walking down the hallway and convinced me to participate in a school-wide patient-counseling competition. Mind you, I had never once spoken to a real (or fake for that matter) patient, we had only learned about the concept in class a few months prior. She told me that I should go for it, and that I would be a natural! I was nervous as all get-out, but when I got in the room with the patient, everything went surprisingly smoothly, and I ended up placing in the top 10 for competition – out of the entire school! I doubt my professor even remembers this moment, but it was a game changer for me. It confirmed that this pharmacy thing was what I was supposed to be doing, it encouraged me to challenge myself throughout my career, and it inspired me to want to instill that confidence in others – to make little black girls like me feel seen and valued in this professional school space that often doesn’t provide that.
How do you avoid getting burned out?
This is still something I struggle with, but I have learned to do a lot of ‘checking in’ with myself. If I learned anything in my residency training, it was how to recognize the signs of the edge. I know what it looks like when I’m over the edge (I call it “zombie facesunken eyes and cheeks,” which often comes with irrational anger at everything, high blood pressure, and fuzzy thoughts). But reflection on ‘how did I get here…again’ helped me make some changes. I now know that I cannot function without sleep – sleep is my escape, my restoration, my best friend. But I also know that when I start to feel restless even after I’ve slept, that it’s time to slow down. 2 Timothy 1:7 says “God hath...given us the spirit…of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” When my mind is in a tizzy, I know it is not of the Lord, and I need to get myself back on track. I know now to go watch a sermon or go play outside, or call a friend, or just take a moment to meditate.
I still kick it old school with a paper planner. It is color-coded, with stickie notes! It never leaves my side. At some point I realized that I had to physically schedule myself downtime! Like a real adult! I highlight social events in Pink, and I do my best to make How do you sure that there is something Pink at least every 2 weeks for my sanity. I highlight the balance your work, church, big projects/presentations/due dates in Blue, so that I can see those coming and plan accordingly. I’ve had to recognize that my priorities may shift from one day/week/season to and social responsibilities? another – that I may have to grind hard this week so that I can relax the next, or vice versa. I’ve always been a person who wants to have it all, but I have learned that I can’t have it all together all the time.
What is your ultimate career goal?
The job I want, I’m pretty sure doesn’t exist…yet– but my ultimate career goal is to enable pharmacists to significantly impact the health of communities of color. I know that pharmacists have so much knowledge about diseases and medications and can be an invaluable resource to the communities they serve. I want to study, develop, and implement ways to change how minority communities in particular interact with community pharmacists in order to provide these underserved communities with better healthcare. What that looks like for me may require additional research training (such as an MPH or a PhD), but in the meantime, it means teaching my students valuable skills and providing them opportunities to connect with the community. I aim to inspire their passions and harness their energy to implement and ultimately share successful innovative ideas.
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Valentine's Day Looks Fashion Tips from Kristen Milton (@kristen_lanell)
Got a special occasion penciled into your diary? This dress is the one for you. Add some volume to your look with this bodycon dress this season. Step out in style with these dreamy strappy sandals to match perfectly with this look.
Look lush in lace in this stunning dress. Just style with your strappy heels and a statement clutch to complete the look.
Pretty Little Thing
Pretty Little Thing Pretty Little Thing
Pretty Little Thing
Make way for the matchy-matchy trend this season as style gets streamlined with co-ord sets. People will stare. Make it worth their while.
Pretty Little Thing
This jumpsuit is essential for any upcoming special occasions. Fashion has to reflect who you are, what you feel at the moment and where you’re going.
Dance the night away in this Satin Off-theShoulder Wrap Dress! A cascading, highlow midi skirt sweeps below the sash tie waist to finish the glam look.
Call It Spring Fashion Nova
BooHoo
Lulus
Lulus
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ALDO
Michelle's Jewels
Words of Wisdom from Mother-In-Chief Michelle Powell You are a valuable beautiful, treasure unto God, through Jesus Christ. Your whole being is important to God. Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers (3 John 2). We were created to glorify God. To be Holy and blameless before him (Ephesians 1:4). The Bible tells us that God has a plan for our lives. It is very important that we care for our whole being, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It is important to God that we care for ourselves. The Bible questions the believer, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received of God? You are not your own” (I Cor. 6:19). The Bible tells us to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind” (Matthew 22:37). MENTAL HEALTH is very important to our existence. Many times we as women, overlook our mental health. We are so busy day to day, wearing ourselves out. We carry frustrations, stress, and worry around like groceries. We must take care of our mental health as well as we do our physical health. Clarity of our mind is necessary. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2). We must rise above the stigma of being ashamed because of mental health issues (bi-polar, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, etc.) Take your prescribed medicine to help you feel better, behave appropriately, and think with clarity. We must quit hiding behind unanswered diagnoses in our mental being because we as African American women sometimes feel it is not okay to have a therapist. A therapist is a professionally trained person that can guide us through the difficulties we experience. It is ok to pursue the best help you need for your mental health. Seek counseling with a therapist or a Christian counselor if you are troubled, need to express yourself, or need advice on coping with life. There are tools to help us to relax our minds when it’s filled with busy thoughts. Meditation is a great way to quiet your mind from the racing day. Meditation is a tool that can help you prepare to hear from God. It may not be audible, but the Holy Spirit may speak and give you peace. Breathing exercises are great tools for calming your mind, listening to your breath, slowing down your heart rate, and relaxing all together. For you to have great EMOTIONAL HEALTH, you must surround yourself with love and positivity. Love God, and love yourself, so that you can love others. Surround yourself with people who are positive. Love yourself so much that you don’t mind spending time with yourself. Show yourself friendly to others. Do not sink into anger, envy, bitterness, and jealousy, but love others, and forgive others, and be happy for others. Think on good things. “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8). Repeat positive mantras daily, such as, I am a Christian. I deserve love. I am loving. I am kind. I am a good person. I make good decisions. I am God’s daughter. I am God’s possession. I am valuable. I am exceptional. I am important. Change your attitude from negativity to positivity and you will change your world. Our PHYSICAL HEALTH is crucial to our existence as beings. There are requirements we must keep for our bodies to function properly. We should drink water, eat fruit, vegetables, and the right choice of meat, watch our portion of food intake, get a good amount of rest, and exercise regularly. If we take medicine, we should take it as prescribed. Thirty minutes of daily exercise is beneficial to the body. Walking, water aerobics, Zumba, soccer, dancing, cycling, kick boxing, martial arts, and weight lifting are all ways to help your body become healthy and strong. If you don’t like sports, climb the stairs at work instead of taking the elevator, and park farther away from your office building.
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Our SPIRITUAL HEALTH is so important to our life as believers. Our spiritual health is strengthened, and improved as we draw closer to God, and make Him first in our life through the belief in His son, Jesus Christ. Studying the word of God helps us to know God and be prepared for life situations. The Bible reads, “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” (2 Tim. 2:15). We strengthen our spiritual health through personal and intercessory prayer. “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (Ephesians 6:18). We strengthen our spiritual health through spiritual songs and hymns. “Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:19). Dear Reader, I hope that 2020 will be the year that you take a few extra minutes to tune into treating your body, mind, spirit, and emotions much better. Please be intentional in focusing on your health first. It will help you to take care of your family and others in a greater way. What you do to enhance your mind, body, spirit, and emotions today can help propel you to a better, healthier future.
This Issue’s Scripture “23Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. 24Avoid all perverse talk; stay away from corrupt speech. 25Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. 26Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. 27Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” - Proverbs 4:23-27 -
Break It Down
We have been instructed by God, in so many ways, to take care of ourselves. This scripture is an explicit rule of thumb for us to practice, which is to protect our hearts. The Bible tells us that we’ll know a tree by the fruit that it bears, which is based completely on what’s inside of our hearts. This is why we must proctect it. Our heart determines our actions and the things we do today will decide where we go in the future, so why not set ourselves up for success? We can protect our hearts by avoiding gossip and dismissing negative conversations, pursuing the future instead of sitting in fear, bitterness or shame because of our pasts, and staying focused on the end goal and not falling prey to life’s distractions. These are all big picture ideas that we can apply to our lives in small ways every day. In the last week, have you laughed at something you shouldn’t have? Responded out of anger instead of letting the Holy Spirit filter your words first? Have you forgotten that our sins are forgiven and regretted something in your past? Have you considered some worldly standard to be more important than the things God asks of us? We all have our misteps, and if it was easy to avoid these things, we wouldn’t need to be warned to protect ourselves. Today, let’s take the first step of identifying one way we frequently put our heart in danger, and come up will a plan to remove it from our behavior. Let’s make healthier decisions all around.
Do you want to share feedback or see a specific topic covered in the future? Let me know! jas@delightedsoulmag.com 8