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JAVEA Issue Nº 156
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December 2012 www.grapevinespain.com
Montgo Chorale Christmas Carol Concert Saturday15th December Following the great success of their November concert in Pedreguer, Montgo Chorale, under their director Gordon Lawson, are looking forward to presenting a Christmas Carol Concert at the Loreto church (Fishermen’s) in Jávea Port on Saturday 15th December at 21.00h. This year the concert will be in aid of ‘Caritas’. The choir will be singing many of the well-loved carols sung regularly in churches around the world. Not forgetting they are in Spain, they will also be singing the lovely Rutter carol ‘Esta Noche’ along with such well known carols as ‘Once in Royal David’s City’, ‘Good King Wencelas’ and a few less well known including ‘I sing of a Maiden’ composed by our own director. Entrance to the concert is free, but a retiring collection will be made for ‘Caritas’ who are providing help to feed and clothe so many families who are in difficulty at this time. We do hope you will come along and join in with some of the carols, and sit back and enjoy others singing for you. If you require any additional information, please call Jan Dewland on 965770973
Amazing Gingerbread House For Christmas, at the Bistro Romantica This wonderful gingerbread house at Bistro Romantica in Javea Park took eight weeks to construct. It is completely edible and was built in the attic. Kai has been building gingerbread houses for the last 3 years and this one is the largest at 1metre 40 centimeters tall. It is fully furnished and hiding within are 3 cats and 2 mice. It is well worth a look, go along and see if you can find the hidden animals. Kai runs the family business with mum Brigitte and friend Mauro. They opened the bistro 3 years ago and they serve breakfast, lunch and much more. Mulled wine will be served up to the 6th of January, when the gingerbread house will be demolished. When you visit be sure to try some homemade cake. The bistro has a real family atmosphere and is beautifully decorated for Christmas.
LOOKING TO BUY, SELL OR RENT A PROPERTY IN THE JAVEA AREA ? CONTACT THE PRO-ACTIVE ESTATE AGENT FOR THE CORRECT ADVICE !! WE SPEAK ENGLISH, SPANISH, FRENCH, DUTCH, GERMAN.
Javea port office: Avenida Lepanto 2, Puerto Real E-30, Javea.
Tel: 965 790 803
Email: info@javea-hamiltons.net
Web: www.javea-hamiltons.net
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At your Service
JÁVEA'S UNDERTAKER, CHAPEL OF REST and CREMATORIUM Cremation – Repatriation – Interment
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Fax: 96 579 4138
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
WELCOME TO YOUR
From the
EDITORS DESK Merry Christmas to all our readers and thank for your support in 2012. We are off to Benidorm again this Christmas so the Copishop will be closed from the 23rd of December until the 2nd of January. Whilst everyone is thinking Christmas trees I can’t help thinking of palm trees. This red palm weevil (Rhynchoporus Ferrungineus) is killing off so many of our palm trees. As you drive down the road from the Arenal to the Port you can see the evidence of the damage these parasites have caused. It is difficult to imagine Javea without Palm trees, but if we don’t take preventative measures to protect them we will lose many more. On a lighter note the Christingle market at Al Faro was a nice start to the Christmas festivities. Mulled wine was served and very nice it was. More good news!! the chemist strike is over. Friends of ours have had to share their pills because the chemists had run out. Diabetics who had run out of there medication had to go to the salud for insulin injections, so thank goodness things are back to normal. Did you know that the legal age for a girl to marry in Spain is just 14 years old. I was quite shocked when I heard this. Apparently this is under review and hopefully the new legal age will be 16. The Cancer Charity Shop are producing a cookery book with proceeds going to charity. An ideal stocking filler for Christmas I think. Finally I would like to wish Simon Montague good luck in his new venture. He has opened a new bar in the Old Town called Bar Iberia. Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year to everyone. T.T.F.N Sue and Derek.
ADVERTISING WORKS If you are reading this then you already know!! If you would like to have your business featured here then contact Derek on 96 579 2649
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
OPI SHOP
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Quick Save Javea Port Copishop Javea Port Quick Save Arenal Iceland Humpty Dumpty Arenal Fiesta Craft Arenal Charity Library Javea Park Dicost Montgo Keith and Lyns Stores (Toscamar) The Barber Shop (Javea Park) Paper Shop (Javea Port) opp. Copishop
We would welcome any retailers, interested in selling the Grapevine. For more information please contact:Derek on 96 579 2649 or email copishopjavea@yahoo.com
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Is your pool looking a little tired? ..... Special offer for ‘The Grapevine’ Readers. Over the years a pool will become more difficult to keep clean and algae free as the tile grout breaks down and becomes discoloured, making the pool less attractive and in some cases very uninviting. In time the chemicals in the pool will have had an effect on the grout and if the ph of the pool has moved towards acid, the grout can have dissolved at an alarming pace! As the grout starts to recede the rate at which tiles become dislodged increases; the grout around the tiles has a significant effect on ensuring they stay put. If you are able to see a distinct gap / dip between the pool tiles and the grout is not flush with the tile surface then re-grouting will be required at some point. Often what’s left of the original white grout in your pool changes from white to pale blue indicating copper sulphate been used as an algaecide over the years? Years of sun screen (even though everyone always showers first) causes a nasty black scum around the water line that is practically impossible to clean; a problem rental properties are particularly susceptible to. Another problem that again is very common and nearly impossible to eradicate is the dreaded black algae that can spread over the whole pool grout at an alarming rate, particularly in a summer like we have just had with the prolonged high water temperatures. The black algae is so difficult to control as it is chemical resistant and tends to put a ‘root’ deep into the grout that cannot easily be killed, scrubbing with a stainless steel brush will normally have a temporary effect and improve the look of the pool but in the majority of cases it returns and normally very quickly if the pool ph is not perfect. Chemical treating is reasonably expensive at around €30 a litre for the algaecide but the real effort comes with the scrubbing of the walls often unsuccessfully. In short, re-grouting will normally solve all of the above problems and ensure your pool looks its best with bright white grout, no missing tiles and a vastly improved if not perfect waterline. The empty pool is also a good opportunity to ensure that pool lights are working properly, the rubber seals are in good condition and they are seated correctly in or on the pool wall. Re-grouting involves a number of processes including high pressure commercial power washing, acid cleaning, chemical sanitising, replacing / re-fixing missing tiles and the use of a quality premium product for regrouting; as well as chemical balancing once the pool is refilled. It’s also often a good time to consider changing the sand in your filter and having the pool coronation cleaned. In short rejuvenating your pool ready for next season at a surprisingly competitive price. Please give me a call if you have any questions regarding the above, I’m happy to come and give a genuine no-obligation quote in the Javea area. Also happy to provide contact details of a number of clients who have had their pools completed in the last year! Fully booked for the rest of this year but plenty of time before the new season to have your pool transformed. From now until the end of March 2013 any pool re-grout for Grapevine readers will include cleaning of the coronation at no charge (normally between €60 and €100. This can mean that a black and mouldy coronation can be brought back to a new condition and your whole pool can sparkle for the new season. Please call Clive, Javea Handyman on 625 397 209 to arrange your no obligation quote and mention this Grapevine article.
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
THE ‘CHURCHES TOGETHER’
Invite you to celebrate a traditional Christmas at one of these services. We wish you all peace, love, joy and happiness during Christmas and throughout the coming year. JAVEA JIBC AND ‘CHURCHES TOGETHER’ 12 noon Friday 21st December, Carols at the Port (Outside in the Square, Opposite Miramar Hotel, Javea Port, Javea) ERMITA CHURCH Del Popul, Jesus Pobre, Javea. Father Marcus Ronchetti – Tel: 965 771 792 Wednesday, 19th December at 4.00 p.m. Carol Service Monday, 24th December at 11.30p.m. Christmas Eve Service Tuesday, 25th December at 09.45 a.m. Christmas Day Service JAVEA INTERNATIONAL BAPTIST CHURCH The Church Centre, Carrer Favara 8, Javea Pueblo, Javea. (Just off Plaza de la Constitucion) Pastor John Hansford – Tel: 96 579 5847 Friday, 21st December, at 12 noon, Open Air Carol Singing Javea Port (Square, Opposite Miramar Hotel, Javea Port) Sunday, 23 December, at 10.30 a.m. Carol Service (The Church Centre) Tuesday, 25th December, at 10.30 a.m. Christmas Day Service (The Church Centre) www.javeabaptist.com JAVEA EVANGELICAL CHURCH C/.Arquitecto Urteaga 25, (rear of Notary & Property Register) Pastor Clive Read – Tel: 669 386 702 Thursday, 20th December, at 7.00 p.m. Candle Light Service followed by Christmas Supper Sunday, 23rd December, at 11.00 a.m. Carol Service Tuesday, 25th December, at 11.00 p.m. Christmas Day Service CALPE CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP Pelamar Centre, Avenida Gabriel Miro, Calpe Reverend Dr. Tony Hobbs – Tel: 670 491 283 Sunday, 23 December, at 11.00am Carol Service Tuesday, 25 December, at 11.00am Christmas Morning Service JALON VALLEY FELLOWSHIP Pastor Barbara Chadwick – Tel: 96 648 1108 Sunday, 23rd December, at 11.00 a.m. Carol Service ‘Carols around the Fire – Mince Pies & Sherry’ at Mas La Pau, Lliber
Jávea Handy Man
A new socket, an outside tap, a garden wall or a new fence, painting, patio cleaning & jet washing, flat-pack assembled, shelving, guttering, pool pumps & filters repaired, serviced & sand changes, remote-control garden lighting schemes .… etc. etc. Reliable, conscientious, trustworthy and very reasonable rates! No obligation quotes with a fixed price. Numerous references and recommendations available. Tel: 625 397 209 handyjavea@gmail.com
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
A Christmas message from the Mayor.
Hello everyone, 2012 has been a year of many challenges, and many problems, and the Town Hall, like everyone else, has suffered the implications of the economic crisis. I would first of all like to thank the many dedicated volunteers in the Red Cross, Caritas and the other charitable organizations in Xàbia, who are working so hard to help the poorest families in our community. After many meetings at a personal level with the governments in Valencia and Alicante, we were successful in obtaining funds to make many long overdue improvements to our town. I would like to highlight just a few of them: more than 26 kilometres of roads repaired and asphalted, especially roads in the urbanizations, which for many years have been neglected. The renovation and upgrading of the Paseo del Arenal is finally in progress after 20 years of delay. The municipal water company AMJASA turned around from a loss of approximately 300,000 euros, when the current government took over, to an expected profit of around 280,000 euros by the end of this year. This will provide us with funds for investing in upgrading the water supply network. I would mention that we make six-monthly plans for the renovation and maintenance of the water infrastructure, and to help maintain local employment, these works are all carried out by local companies from Xàbia. We have made good progress in improving communications between the town hall and our citizens, especially through the use of social networks, consultation and much improved transparency. The ruling by the Supreme Court in Madrid relating to the IBI tax has seriously impacted the tax income for the town hall, as the citizens of Xàbia will pay 8.000,000 euros less in IBI in 2012. This has required us to make major efforts to reduce expenditure, and at the same time avoid affecting key services; a difficult balancing act. Many of you will be leaving Xàbia to spend the holidays with family and friends, to those I wish a safe journey and a Happy Christmas. For the residents remaining in Xàbia, I wish you all a Happy Christmas and hope
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you will enjoy Xàbia’s traditional seasonal celebrations. We will face 2013 committed to devote all our energies and efforts to continuously improving Xàbia for the benefit of our citizens, and make it an even more attractive tourist destination. From my wife Monica and myself we wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a healthy, and happy 2013.
THEATRE Calendar Girls. By Tim Firth Based on the Miramax motion picture by Juliette Towhidi and Tim Firth.
If you were unlucky enough to miss this production by the Javea players you missed a real treat. It was funny with a hint of sadness but really funny. It was definitely a feel good production leaving everyone with smiley faces. Well done to the cast and crew we really enjoyed the show.The show was a total sell out for all three performances, with the proceeds from the Gala night going to Marina Alta Breast Cancer Support (M.A.B.S.) I know that some people who left it too late to obtain tickets were very disapointed. The original Calander Girls wanted to raise enough money to buy a new settee for the hospital waiting room. Instead they became an international sensation and raised over 2 million pounds for lukemia reseach. Javea Players were delighted to have been granted permission to perform this wonderful play and to jump on the fundraising band wagon. The Javea Players decided not to do a calander as it would have conflicted with the MABS calander which is on sale for just 5 euros.The next production “Lilies on the land” directed by Penny Grant begins the week commencing 15th April 2013.Get your tickets early to avoid disappointment.
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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Doris Courcelles
Use the stairs more and the lift less Share a vehicle to go to and from work Use only the lighting you need Print documents on both sides of the paper In winter, the heating should be on 20-21 º
The word “crisis” has In summer, the air-con should be on 25-26º become fashionable. Who is not using it at the If you can, use the public transport or a bike to go to and from work moment? For some people, it is a good excuse, for others it is a real catastrophe or a cruel reality.
I am sure that you have a lot of ideas to save money at home........ Don't hesitate to tell us. I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year. After all, money is not important to make people happy. We can all offer love, friendship, time and attention......
The Town Hall department of “Social services”and different associations like Caritas, Red Cross, “Todos juntos Javea”, the My e-mail adresses are: ISVH ( Balcón al mar fire-men), charity shops etc.....are working dorpe@telepolis.com hard with the aim of helping the needy persons. More than doris.courcelles@ajxabia.org ever, voluntary efforts, wilfulness and benevolence are wonDoris Courcelles, councillor for “services, environment and beachderful ways of helping others and our environment.
On Tuesday 11th December, at 8 pm in the “Casa de la Cultura”, there will be a conference about the need to have a more humanitarian economy which is also respectful of the Planet. Juan Antonio Sanchis, director of the Valencia office of the “Triodos Bank", will give examples of sustainable initiatives in the sector of renewable energy and bioclimatic architecture, social intervention etc... (The talk will be in Spanish). In the Town Hall, we have started a “campaign with advice like: Switch off the lights when you leave a room. Don't forget to turn off the air-con when you stop working in the premises. Switch off copiers, computers, printers ..at the end of your working day. Ensure a screensaver on your monitor operates after 5 minutes of inactivity
LOCAL
&
IN T E R N
L
If you have any ideas of how to improve our environment, don't hesitate to mention them to me. I personally think that if every owner would clean the front of his or her house and take the weeds away, it would be a great help and would give a better vision of our little town.
es” was born in Belgium and studied at a French university. She speaks Castellano, English, French, Dutch, and German and is still trying to improve her Valenciano. As a consequence, she knows many residents and societies of Spanish and other nationalities here in Jávea. She moved to Spain in 1978. She has a son aged 29 and can empathise with parents in a foreign country.
IONAL AT
As far as the environment is concerned and because of the drastic cuts that we have to make next year, the work of all the volunteers is and will be most appreciated. I am speaking of actions like cleaning. “Xabia Viva” helped to clear the area of Santa Lucia or the scarcely accessible Playa de la Sardinera earlier this year and on the 25th November, a team of divers from the Club de buceo Pelicar braved the cold waters and decided to clean up the sea bed in the “Club Nautico” area. 20 divers were brought together. They found all sorts of junk including bottles, motor parts, shopping trolleys, tins, digital cameras, mobile phones, sunglasses, binoculars etc.........
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THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Doom & Gloom ‘Road Shows’ results Politicians and real estate promoters, have for more than a year, been travelling the world with ‘Road Shows’ trying to sell some of the more than 700,000 unsold dwellings which are dragging the Spanish economy downhill. Some of these expensive expeditions have been spearheaded by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, others by regional governments, Diputaciones Provinciales, all assisted by the associations of promoters and real estate agents which caused the glut in the first place. A latest ‘Road Show’ was organised by the Diputacion of the Malaga Province and the Patronato de Turismo de la Costa del Sol, with visits to UK, Russia, Sweden, Bulgaria and Germany. The cost, up to now, 40,000 euros of public money. There are 40,000 unsold dwellings on Costa del Sol. 1,000 of them were offered for sale in the 5 countries visited. The result: not one dwelling sold. The other ‘Road Shows’ have not fared much better, only serving to give the less than serious politicians and promoters the possibility to travel and stay in top hotels, eating and drinking in fancy restaurants, all at the expense of the taxpayer. The grave failure of the ‘Shows’ is a serious warning to the ‘bad bank’ Sareb, which will be saddled with 90 billion euro’s worth of the property mountain. 4,907,817 without a job According to Eurostat, unemployment in Spain reached 26.2% in October. 0.4% more than in September and the highest in the 27 EU member states. Greece has an unemployment rate of 25.4%, Portugal 16.3. And in November nemployment increased by 1.5% to almost to 5 million. Compared with November last year, its up 487,355, and now stands at 4.907.817, more than the total population of Norway. No compensation for retired Next year, the 8.9 million retired pensioners will not be compensated for the rise in inflation. The preliminary inflation figure for this year is only 2.9%, due to a fall in oil prices. Opposition and pensioners are protesting against the decision, since Prime Minister Rajoy one year ago promised pension values ‘would not be touched’.
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IBI - Claiming Over payments for 2006-2011 You can reclaim via the Town Hall website at http://www.ajxabia.com/ At the top of this page is a link to the reclaim page. There you enter the details from last years bill, and your NIE number. This will then generate all of the necessary paperwork which you print and post to the address at the top of the form.
If you need help doing this then you can call into the Copishop in the port, with a copy of your NIE number and last years IBI receipt from your bank, and we will do it for you, for the cost of the photocopies
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NEWS fromAGENDA 21 JÁVEA \ XÁBIA
THE GRAPEVINE December 2012
Agenda 21 is a non-political process whereby inhabitants of a town can have a say in the long-term sustainable development of their community. Jávea has been part of this UN initiative since 2004, but as proceedings are mostly conducted in either Castellano and Valenciano, the authors decided that as more than half the population of Jávea consists of expatriates, it would be useful to set up a Wiki website to disseminate information in English. This column is a summary of recent events. For more information and up-to-date news, please visit; http//agenda21-xabia.wikidot.com
Compiled by Chris Betterton-Jones and Tim Ladd Flexible payment system for local taxes Tax rates hiked to compensate for Catastrazo Xàbia Town Hall is introducing a system whereby, in 2013, people can customise their schedule of payments of local taxes to suit their circumstances. People who pay early will get a discount of up to 4%, and those who wait until the end of the year will pay s small surcharge. This local system is a pioneer in Spain. Other decisions agreed by an extraordinary Plenary Council meeting on 8th November was a hike in the factor to calculate IBI - from 0.93% to 1.13% and the increase in the rubbish collectionj tax. These measure will produce a 5million increase in the tax take, while an anticipated 8.5 million reduction in expenditure (details to be agreed by all municipal political groups) will help to plug some of the shortfall resulting from the Catastrazo ruling. The change in tax rates were approved by the ruling coalition (PSPV, Xàbia Democrática and Ciudadanos por Jáve. Plus the non-aligned councillor Rosa Cardona. Those against were PP, Bloc and the other non-aligned councillors: Juan Planelles, Paco Catalá and Eduardo Monfort. From XAD
the Russians. They come from far away, they are forceful, and there are many of them. According to the Moscow agency Masa International, Spain has become their main purchasing territory, ahead of Bulgaria, which was until now Russians' favorite beach home location. Moscow alone has 250 agencies selling Spanish properties, and some specialize exclusively in Spain, according to the Russian measurement company GIS (Geoinformatiónnaya Sistema). One of the factors behind this boom is tourism: a million Russians visit Spain each year. Russia is the market that Costa Dorada realtors aim for, such as Europa Dom, 75 percent of whose clients are Russian.
Xàbia crime rate below provincial average. Xàbia is a safe place to live, with a crime rate of 23 crimes per 1000 inhabitants, the crime rate is below the provincial average (25.3). In 2012 there were no house burglaries which added to the sense of security. However, the Town plans to improve results by referring all offences such as shoplifting, pilfering of copper and other materials to court, so that repeat offenders are recorded and thus more likely tobe detained. From XAD
Iberdrola clears scrub to prevent fire risk.
Abandoned boat turns into a bonanza
Iberdrola (via an authorised company) is clearing scrub and trees beneath its electricity pylons in Capsades and Cansalades as measures to reduce fire risk. The work consists of clearing 30 metre wide strips below the power lines in forested areas. The clearing will prevent tree branches from chafing the power lines and also act as fire breaks. From Press Release.
Keen diver Daniel was walking his dog on Granadella beach early in the morning a few days ago when he saw a large abandoned boat drawn up on the beach. He tied it to the wall and then alerted the Guardia Civil - after asking for its "custody". It seems that the boat may have belonged to drug smugglers, since it is a large, expensive Zodiac type rib, with three 250 horse power engines. If so, the owners are unlikely to come back and claim it. The boat will therefore be sold at auction, and since Daniel took custody of it, under maritime law he will be entitled to 50% of the proceeds…and the estimated value ? some 100,000 Euros !
Diving Club cleans up sea bed in Club Nautico Area Last weekend the Pelicar Diving Club brought together 20 diver volunteers to clean up the sea bed near the Club Nautico. They found all manner of junk including bottles, motor parts, shopping carts, as well as a digital camera and binoculars. The Town hall provided a skip for all the rubbish. From XAD
Green shoots in Spain’s real estate sector? All is not lost: they say that the end of the property crisis is coming from the East, where Spain offers sunny weather, good services, excellent communications and now, cheap housing too. This has become a land of opportunity for a certain type of foreign client with money in their pockets. Mortgage loans may have dried out, but that does not matter; these customers pay in cash. The most notable clients are
"Gastromusic" in La Perla Restaurant The La Perla Restaurant has launched an initiative to combine music with creative cuisine, and seems to have had a hit with 70 people enjoying their musical meal last weekend. The idea was to combine the flavours of each course with appropriate music. Hence the prawn starter was accompanied by a flamenco, a course called "Chica de Ipanema" with mushrooms and tubers went down with Brasilian music etc. Afterwards guests were able to enjoy a drink in the VIP lounge of the SOCCO nightclub. From XAD For more information and up-to-date news, visit; http//agenda21-xabia.wikidot.com and the workgroups' multilingual website: http://xabia21grupos.com/
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Artist of the month
by Linda McGillycuddy JingleBell Rock What do the following artists have in common? Dean Martin, Justin Bieber, The Drifters, Annie Lennox and Jim Reeves? An eclectic bunch not usually associated together, but they have all released Christmas albums. You can even add to that list, Elvis, Jethro Tull, Mariah Carey and the Muppets, albeit not all at the same time – they didn’t lose the plot altogether! But when it comes to Christmas time, there is something in the air that
makes sane people go a little bonkers! How else could you explain Bing Crosby and David Bowie making a record together? That time is almost upon us, when sentimental songs exuding warmth and love and all that jazz are filling the air. When otherwise hardnosed, street cred artists let their masks slip just a little bit and release Christmas albums in time for the huge record sales. ‘Santa Claus is coming to Town’ first came out in 1934 and ‘White Christmas’ has been recorded over 500 times in dozens of languages, so we all love them, and have done for a very long time.
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Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…………. Well, I don’t know about you, I can’t ever remember roasting chestnuts on an open fire, but these are the words I immediately think of when I think about a Christmas song. We grew up with them and every year a couple of new ones join the classics. The grand prize of the Christmas Number 1 has for the last few years become a foregone conclusion with the X Factor reality TV show producing their winning single timed perfectly to clinch the spot. In 2009, Rage Against the Machine had a successful campaign against the perceived manipulation with their No 1 song ‘Killing in the Name’ (definitely not a Christmassy theme song) but interest seem to wane in subsequent years and we now accept the inevitable like a fattened turkey awaiting late December. But the Christmas No. 1 is only for a few weeks, what is more interesting is the phenomenon of Christmas classics which reappear every season. The favourite for me and for many people is the song for the ultimate anti hero, ‘Fairytale of New York’ by The Pogues, written and performed by Shane McGowen whose Mother would even admit he has a face best suited to radio and the late great Kirsty MacColl, singing about drunks, drug addicts thrown into jail, and love won and lost. Its mixture of poignancy and vitriol stirs the emotions and is a wonderful antidote to all the marzipan music coming our way in the next few weeks. It has consistently been voted the most popular Christmas song and will be around for a very long time. For sheer comic genius, check out Frank Kelly, aka Father Jack Hackett, counting down ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’. I love the image of Twelve maidens dancing, beating the living daylights out of eight Maidsa-milking because they found them carrying on with the eleven Lords-a-leaping. This song is great for a belly laugh if you are not too full of turkey and mince pies. A sure festive favourite must be Slade’s ‘Merry Xmas Everyone’, it’s a guaranteed to make you smile, and reminds us, look to the future now, it’s only just begun…….. MAN WITH A VAN
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T HE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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Eurozone crisis far from over, ECB, IMF warn Daniel Flynn and Leigh Thomas, Reuters PARIS — The eurozone’s crisis is far from over and its members must consolidate their budgets and forge a banking union to put the bloc on a more stable economic footing, the leaders of the IMF and European Central Bank said on Friday. Underlining the bloc’s woes, data showed both German retail sales and French consumer spending falling faster than expected as well as stubborn Spanish inflation that will likely lift the cost of state pension rises for an already hardpressed budget. Eurozone wide numbers showed another 173,000 people joining record jobless queues in October, while a dive in consumer price inflation offered only limited relief to households struggling with the recession. Speaking in Paris, where the government is trying to dispel concerns raised by the IMF that France could be left behind as Italy and Spain reform at a faster pace, ECB President Mario Draghi said the eurozone’s three-year-old crisis was likely to stretch deep into next year. “We have not yet emerged from the crisis,” Draghi told Europe 1 radio. “The recovery for most of the euro zone will certainly begin in the second half of 2013.” “It’s true that budgetary consolidation entails a short-term contraction of economic activity, but this budgetary consolidation is inevitable,” Draghi said, speaking through a translator. A Greek bankruptcy could lead to the break-up of the eurozone German lawmakers approved the latest bailout for Greece on Friday by a large majority despite growing unease about the cost to taxpayers less than a year before federal elections. The package, which aims to cut the Greek debt load to 124 of national output by 2020, coincides with increased speculation among German lawmakers and media that eurozone governments will eventually have to write off much of the Greek debt they hold. Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble said in the Bundestag debate that such speculation could undermine the Greek government’s reform drive. “If we say the debts will be written off (Greece’s) willingness to make savings is correspondingly weakened. Such false speculation does not solve the problems,” he said. “A Greek bankruptcy could lead to the break-up of the eurozone.” ECB policymakers hold their regular monthly policy meeting next week and are widely expected to leave interest rates on hold at a record low of 0.75%. Economists are divided on whether the central bank will cut next year. Draghi has stressed the ECB is ready to help tackle the crisis by buying potentially unlimited amounts of sovereign debt under its new bond-buy plan but until Spain applies for aid, a prerequisite for the ECB to intervene, it cannot use the tool. Resisting fresh ECB action, Bundesbank chief Jens Weidmann said on Thursday central bankers had done more than enough to fight the crisis and it was now up to governments to act by reforming their economies and making the banking sector solid. BANKING UNION Draghi, in Paris for a conference with top financial officials, said eurozone governments should push ahead quickly with implementing a banking union which must apply to all banks to avoid fragmenting the sector. His position puts the ECB, which would take on the role of pan-European banking sector, at odds with Germany. Berlin has said that unified banking supervision under the aegis of the ECB should apply only to the bloc’s largest banks.
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Joerg Asmussen, one of the ECB’s key negotiators for a clos-
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er integration of the eurozone and a former deputy German finance minister, said late on Thursday a new European banking supervisory body would not be ready to operate fully before 2014. But International Monetary Fund head Christine Lagarde pressed for swift implementation of a banking union that would have powers to supervise all banks in the eurozone. “Banking union seems to us to be the first priority,” Lagarde said during the meeting with top financial officials in Paris, adding that closer budgetary consolidation should be the next priority. The economic situation in the eurozone remained fragile and governments should maintain a “reasonable” pace of budgetary consolidation to avoid crimping growth, she added.
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Leroys Christmas Present Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. Christmas was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mum, I want a bike for Christmas. " Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for Christmas. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a religious woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behaviour over the last year. "Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for Christmas." Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter. Letter #1: "Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for Christmas. I want a red one. Your friend, Leroy " Leroy knew that wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year so he tore up the letter and started over. Letter #2: "Dear God, I have been an "OK " boy this year. I still would really like a bike for Christmas. Leroy " Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So he wrote a third letter. Letter #3: God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for Christmas. Please! Thank you, Leroy " Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mum that he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked as Leroy looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner ", Leroy's mother told him. Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Leroy went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Leroy bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy began to write yet another letter to God. Letter #4: "God, I've got your mama. If you want to see her again, send the bike! Signed, YOU KNOW WHO "
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BayRadio with
Tony Myles
“Ho Ho Ho!” . . Well maybe not yet but not too long to wait for Christmas although there will be a number of people holding their breath as we approach the 22nd December when according to Mayan legend the world will end. I will not be among those who will be gazing at the sky in anticipation of some cataclysmic event and you can be heartened by the fact that this particular date is merely the latest in a long series of such predictions. At the last count there have been more than 150 such predictions in the modern calendar including the much publicised Millennium bug which on January 1st 2000 would cause widespread disruption of our IT dependent society including the risk of all aircraft falling from the sky. What it did was create a tremendous rise in only one area. It was the bank accounts of IT professionals who overnight became Y2K bug fixers. Most religious cults have had their own version of impending doom and so far these have all come and gone only to be greeted with protestations that “Oh yes I can explain that non-event because the calculations were only best estimates and here is the absolute guaranteed date. We’re doomed. We’re all DOOMED!” As we are all still here it is evident that these amended dates came and went like all the others. My favourite “End-of-the-World” prediction has got to be the Prophet Hen of Leeds. In the early nineteenth century a hen was discovered to be laying eggs with predictions of the second coming and the apocalypse on the outer shell. Great consternation followed until it was discover that the poultry farmer was etching the predictions in indelible ink and then pushing them back into the reluctant hen. However there is one prediction to which I am prepared to give some credence and that is one from various scientific bodies who predict that in approximately 5 billion years (5,000,000,000) the sun will have packed up and the Earth will have to do the same. If it happens on a Saturday or Sunday I may not turn up for the breakfast show on Bay Radio. Once again at this time of year I wish you everything you need and at least some of what you want. Tony - tony@bayradio.fm PS – If anyone believes that the world will indeed end on 22nd December I am fully prepared to bet a very large amount that it won’t!!
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
WHATS on in
JAVEA Exibitions Beatriz Rico Ca Lambert November 30th-December 23rd Exhibit of artwork by Beatriz Rico. Ca Lambert November 30th-December 11th The Art Centre: Ca Lambert (calle mayor, 42) presents the exhibit "Feminist Labour Union Women" (CCOO PV 1956-1982). It portrays the situation of women from the dictatorship period up to Democracy. Organized by: Concejalía de la Igualdad (Council of Equality).
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FESTES. En honor a Santa Llúcia Holiday Festivities. In honor of St. Lucia. Romería a la Ermita de Santa Lucía (Pilgrimage to St. Lucia Hermitage). dv - vie - fri 21/12/2012 19:00 h. Centre Històric Performance. Nadales al carrer (Carols in the street). Christmas Carols by the music band: Xirimitab's. ds - sáb - sat 22/12/2012 12:00 h. Port de Xàbia Performance. Christmas Carols. By the music band: Xirimitab's. dg - dom - sun 23/12/2012 10:00 h. Pl. Convent Sports. 29th Edition of the Popular Turkey Race. Organized by: Club Ciclista Jávea (Cycling Club) Sponsor: Council of Sports of Xàbia.
dj - jue - thu 27/12/2012 16:30 h. Palau Municipal d'Esports "Miguel Buigues Andrés" Leisure. Nadal Jove (Children's Christmas Activities). 27th, 28th and 29th of December. Children's Space with race car circuits, inflated jumping zones, adventures, Casa del Cable games and workshops. Outdoors and for young people: Until january 6th Rollerball, Paintball, Bungee Jumping and Xàbia Active Judaeo-Christian Dioramas. Display of Artworks by the Extreme. Free Entrance. Additional information: Nativity Scene Workshop (until 9th of December). www.monjove.net. Betlem hebreu Museu Arqueològic i Etnogràfic municipal Soler Blasco Until january 6th Inauguration: 30th of November.
Otoño & Sofa Bento's Galería Until january 31st Paintings by the artist, Oscar Bento. Museu Arqueològic i Etnogràfic municipal Soler Blasco Until january 27th Commemoration of 400th anniversary of the royal grant for the official Xàbia Town. Fotografies en la comarca Ca Lambert December 21st-January 14th Exhibit of the best photographs from various Fotoclubs (Photography Associations) of the district. Organized by the Agrupación Fotográfica Xàbia (Xabia Photography Association). Fotos al voltant del parc natural del Montgó Casa del Cable December 28th-January 15th Photography Exhibit about the Montgó Natural Park.
Events
dv - vie - fri 28/12/2012 20:00 h. Centre Històric Leisure. Tapas and Shopping Night. Delicious Tapas (Fingerfoods) for 2€ at participating restaurants and shops are open until midnight.
Cáritas Xàbia Port The volunteers of Cáritas Xàbia Port wish all the readers of The Grapevine a Very Happy Christmas. And we would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who have given donations, whether of money or food, clothing etc. in response to our appeals. It is entirely with your help that we are able to supply over 60 needy families with food every month and help to pay for electricity, water, rent and other vital expenses. The economic crisis is not only continuing but getting more acute for some, and a lot of these hard-hit families are receiving little or no assistance from the state, with the outlook for the winter not likely to improve. Many of them are surviving thanks to help from the Red Cross, the local Social Services and Cáritas. Donations are still needed more than ever.
dg - dom - sun 9/12/2012 09:00 h. Hiking route. Montgó route (PR-CV 355). Free Route without prior registration. Time: 5 hr. Difficulty: Our office is situated in the patio to the left of the main Medium-high Equipment: water, food, trainers, photo door of the Port Church of Nuestra Señora de Loreto. camera and warm clothes. The office is open on Mondays from 6 pm to 7.30 pm. Our phone number is: 699307635. (The numbers prodj - jue - thu 13/12/2012 vided in last month’s issue of The Grapevine are no 10:00 h. Pl. Església longer operative).
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Just how "Italian" are Italian Olive Oils? Olive Oils labeled “Italian” are in fact 66% Spanish, says a report recently released by the Turin newspaper, La Stampa. Italy accounts for 65% of all olive oil exports from Spain. Their food industry, one of the world's most powerful and with large multinationals that dominate the crop-processing absorbs most of the Spanish olive oil producers’ harvests. These transactions are conducted via tanker lorries collecting bulk olive oil from depots and cooperatives around the country, including Valencia where I live, which is one of the major producing areas of Spain after Andalucia. Spain’s neighbour then packages the product, maybe even blends it with other oils and then re-exports it through the leading distribution companies in the EU, of course with the stamp “Made in Italy”. Moreover, two-thirds of the oil it sells in its home market is also Spanish, as has recently reported the largest association of producers in the country, Coldiretti, whose leaders warn that in 2011 oil imports exceeded exports by a long way. So the chances are even the Italians, so proud of their Olive Oil probably haven’t even tried an Italian Olive Oil for quite some time! Valencia is one of the leading regions for exporting Olive Oil and mainly to Italy. From Maestrat to Vall d'Albaida, among other regions, they continue sending tankers to the Italian industry throughout the season. According to data provided by ICEX, in recent years the value of exports fell compared to the 8, 2 million euros achieved in 2007. Drought and other factors have reduced the harvests considerably and this year it will be even less compared to previous campaigns owing to the lack of rain during the summer. Nonetheless, exports remain a key feature of their business strategy. The EU is starting to take action in the matter. The Italian producers’ organisation Coldiretti claims that "under the guise of the brand "Made in Italy" national olive oils are mixed with imported Spanish olive oil to acquire the image of the country and pass off as products from historical Italian brands" mentions the report by La Stampa . Olive Oil labelled Italian is in fact two-thirds Spanish says the study carried out by the Italy’s largest association of farmers. Most of the 600,000 tons of oil in 2011 that Italy imported came from Spanish olive groves, but also from Greece, Portugal, France and Turkey. With the case of Spanish Olive Oil, some Italian olive oil producers bought olive oil at a price of 50 cents a kilo, which was then resold on to the domestic market at a cost price of between € 2.50 and €3. "The speculators are manipulating the business and doing a lot of damage," laments the environmental technician and expert on the oil sector, Ferran Gregori. The rogue Italian industry is committing a crime, the European Union not so long ago enforced a law on the clarity of olive oil origin for labelling standards, and those who are carrying out this fraud generate about 5,000 million euros in profit annually, warns the representatives of Coldiretti . According to the technician for the Llauradors Union, "Italy absorbs a lot of Spanish olive oil exports because it runs some of the largest food businesses in the world. The same happens with the almonds in Spain, we import them and then sell them on" Gregori pointed out. In his opinion, the fact that some Italian producers are denouncing this, the volume of imports clearly justifies their complaints. "If there is fraud in the labelling the matter should be taken up with the authorities so not to manipulate consumers," adds the director of the Union. In view of the situation, Italy is working on a bill to protect it’s oil against increased imports of foreign oil and counterfeiting. This legal proposal, according to Agrodigital, has
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
been presented by the producers’ organisation Coldiretti, Symbola Foundation (Foundation for the quality of Italian products) and Unaprol (association of growers). The main changes contained in the bill are to require larger letters on the labels, measures to prevent and eliminate deceptive brands and the secrets around the names of the companies that import foreign oil. Also they will include a classification control to supervise the qualitative characteristics of the oils. This aims to build a system of rules that protect consumers and ensure fair competition between businesses, preserving the authenticity of the product, the certainty of its territorial origin and the transparency of information provided to consumers.
HELP
So when many thought that Italian olive oil was the best in the world, little did they know that it is in fact most probably Spanish.
Hospital
If you are visiting Denia hopspital and are not a confident Spanish speaking person - help is at hand.
Amongst their many local services, the Help organisation of Denia man a special desk situated on the left of the main reception area from 1100 to 1400 Monday to Friday. If you have a definite appointment and feel you may need the assistance of an interpreter, call the “HELP” desk in advance giving the necessary information: date, time, SIP number, department, etc. but please allow as much time as possible. The direct line to the hospital desk during Help working hours is 96 642 9346. There is no charge for this service and it is at the discretion of the patient whether they choose to make a donation to the HELP organisation. Also see web page: www.helpofdenia.com
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THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
A re-print of last months Receipe. Due to a mistake by the type setters the end of the method section was ommitted. Apoligies to all of our cooks for this ommision. HERBED LIVER PATE PIE
Christmas is coming! If your celebration includes a buffet, this would be a superb addition.
INGREDIENTS 675gm minced pork 350gm pork liver 350gm diced cooked ham 1 small onion, finely chopped 30ml chopped fresh parsley 5ml German mustard 5ml salt 25gm sachet aspic jelly 250ml boiling water Ground black pepper For the pastry 450gm plain flour A pinch of salt 275gm butter 2 eggs plus 1 egg yolk 30ml water.
METHOD Pre heat the oven to 200c To make the pastry, sift the flour and salt and rub in the butter. Beat the eggs, the egg yolk and water, add to the dry ingredients and mix. Knead the dough briefly until smooth. Roll out two-thirds on a lightly floured surface and use to line a 10x25cm loaf tin. Trim any excess. Process half the pork and all of the liver until fairly smooth. Stir in the remaining minced pork, ham, onion, parsley, mustard, add the salt and a shake of black pepper. Spoon the filling into the tin, smoothing it down and then levelling the surface. Roll out the remaining pastry and use it to top the pie, sealing the edges with some of the remaining egg white. Decorate with the pastry trimmings and glaze with the rest of the egg white. Using a fork, make 3 or 4 holes in the top to let the steam escape. Bake for 40 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 180c and cook for a further hour. Cover the pastry with foil if the top begins to brown too much. Allow the pie to cool in the tin. Make up the aspic jelly using the boiling water. Stir to dissolve, then allow to cool. Make a small hole near the edge of the pie with a skewer, then pour in the aspic through a baking paper funnel, or icing nozzle. Chill for at least 2 hours before serving.
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What’s cooking in December
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by Elaine Brown
LEFTOVERS
I can almost hear you groaning, but this dish turned out very well when I cooked it recently for my son and his wife, who were both working.
INGREDIENTS Half a roast chicken, or some left over turkey. Some left over gammon joint if you have any. The white part of two small leeks 2 small carrots 1 chicken stock cube dissolved in ½ pint of hot water 1 small pot of natural yoghurt 1 tbsp dried tarragon 1 tbsp plain flour 2 lbs potatoes A little parmesan finely grated (optional) Some butter and milk for the potato topping
METHOD Peel, boil and mash the potatoes Cut the chicken/turkey/gammon into bite size pieces Cut all the vegetables into small dice and fry gently until soft. Sprinkle with plain flour and cook for two minutes. Add the stock slowly together with the tarragon. Allow to boil for two more minutes. Stir the meats and the sauce together and put into an ovenproof dish leaving enough room for the potato topping. Sprinkle with parmesan and cook for about 20 minutes in a pre-heated oven at 200c until nicely brown. Merry Christmas
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THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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EATING OUT RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR Restaurante MASENA (Jávea) : Attracting regular clients of all nationalities this has been the most outstandingly successful restaurant of 2012 by virtue of a consistently high standard of cooking and (if there were another award) for the best Maître D in the area, Valentino leads a team offering impeccable service. These comments reach us from a wide circle. Their muzak is always low and is often turned off on request thus improving the atmosphere and comfort of the guests. Go to the end of Cami Cabanes (behind Barclays) and immediately left onto the Benitachell (Golf Club) road. Beautifully appointed Belgian-owned restaurant with a stylish air of Mexican decoration. Menu del dia €17 (but not Sundays). This superb restaurant is busy all the year around ! If you want to know the reason, go and try it ! Booking essential. Tel : 96 579.3764 / f. Tues Web : http://www.restaurantcostablanca.com/restaurantes/Alicante/JaveaXabia/Masena/ (The runner up restaurant is La Cocina - but they do not open for lunch !).
DECEMBER 6th : THE NEXT ENGLISH TEA at the JÁVEA PARADOR will be on Thursday December 6th. This excellent - and very successful event - is now well established by an excellent turnout on Nov.1st so the word is getting around as to the very high quality. popular. This is a regular event on the first Thursday of every month (excl. July/August). The hotel offers perfectly made tea (incl. Earl Grey) as well as cucumber sandwiches, delicious scones (with clotted cream and red jam) and carrot & walnut cake and a glass of Cava to finish. A delight. Yes, readers .... It is a triumph and all for €10. The next tea will be on Thursday 6th December (16:30h - 18:00h) Because the teas have been so successful it remains essential to book [96 579 0200]. Make up a small group - and book early. TOP OF JÁVEA'S CLASS - for all true Gastronauts ! BONAMB : Dutch owned, this restaurant (formerly Giardino, at the Tarraula roundabout at the end of Cabanes and the beginning of the Benitachell/ Golf Club Road) has opened recently after a complete retransformation with beautifully laid out gardens and terraces. This is the most important gastronomic investment in Jávea - ever - and it really puts Jávea on the map completing the triangle of world-class restaurants formed by Quique Dacosta (Denia) and Casa Pepa (Ondara). I was both charmed and enchanted by my visit. Reports are consistently excellent. The new lunch-only Menu-del-día is €24 (soup, apéritif, choice 4 starters, choice 4 main courses, choice 2 puds plus glass of house wine) sounds like a terrific bargain so do go and try it. Main menus at €49.50 (7-courses) and €70 for the 9-course one. Tel : 96 508 4440 / E-mail: Reservations : reservas@bonamb.com / Website: http://bonamb.com/index.html
John
WITH
Deacon
English language films in Jávea puerto have resumed. JÁVEA : CINEMA JAYAN - special offer (dinner + ticket on Tues - Wed - Thurs at 18:45h for only €14) : The excellent Restaurante LA RENDA is right beside the Cinema Jayan and offers a pre-performance menu del día including your cinema ticket for €14 (which means, on a Tues or a Wed., a meal will cost you €8 !). This newly and beautifully appointed restaurant offers some some serious, adventurous and very creative cuisine. To take up this offer you must book. Tel: 96 579.3763 / E-mail: larenda.javea@gmail.com N.B. To find out what film is showing, go to : http://www.cinejayan.com/ click English "English version". IN A CLASS OF THEIR OWN (from €35+ per head) ATALAYA : On the right side of Jávea's Arenal beach (above Scallops). This restaurant serves creative dishes of superb quality and many have asked why it has only recently joined the list. The reason has been some of the most offensive/loud muzak of any restaurant in the area (and even if turned down, most ungraciously, they soon jacked it up again - three times on one visit). However recent reports suggest they may have begun to understand how clients have been offended by the noise for we are told that on recent visits there was none !! So we are pleased to acknowledge their excellent culinary skills with the proviso that we hope that common sense has now prevailed here and that clients are now spared the (previous) infernal noise ! Tel: 96 628.9666 / f. / Web: http://atalayajavea.com/ LA BOHÈME (Jávea, Arenal beach front) : This restaurant (and Los Remos de la Nao, Le Gourmand, Mira Jávea & Atalaya) are the best French styled restarants on the Arenal beach front. Fine tapas, superb steaks. Menu del dia €15.95. Consistently excellent reports throughout the summer but comments reveal this is an expensive place. Parador end of Arenal promenade. Tel : 96 579.1600 / open daily. / http://www.javeacompany.com/javeacompany/boheme/index.html RE-OPENING : Restaurante LE GOURMAND : This excellent restaurant will reopen on 16th December at the former premises of < 121 > on the Jesús Pobre road. We are of the opinion that a move away from front-line tourism will enable their reputation beter to spread through the resident community and especially to offer their excellent creative cuisine to the Montgó area and Jesús Pobre. Tel: 96 628.9686 / E-mail : legourmand.javea@gmail.com (both remain unchanged) LA PLAZA No.6 : (in the "triangular square" (sic) opp. Humpty Dumpty). All-year-round successful and delightful German-owned establishment offering excellent international cuisine (but can include the excellent Wiener schnitzel !). A favourite with residents in tranquil surroundings. Menu del dia €11 (midday) & €19.00 evenings. Kitchen open till 23:30h. Live music one evening a week. Tel: 96 646 2314 /f. Monday / www.laplaza6.com / E-mail: oliver@laplaza6.net SOFIA'S : Avda. del Pla 20, Jávea. Really delicious and excellently prepared food. This restaurant has not featured on this list for 5 years due to its over loud muzak but an accommodation has been reached and a simple request will now see it turned down (or even off !). The Menu-del-día is one of the best, cost/quality, that we know (currently Euros 14.50h with a glass of wine - but available Thursday lunch only - currently suspended for the summer. High standards pervade all their dishes and the restaurant is beautifully appointed. Easy parking. Tel: 96 646.2903 / Open 19:00 - 22:30h / f. Sun/Mon : Web: www.sofiasrestaurantspain.com
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
TOSCA (Arenal beach, on the bridge overlooking the creek and close to Jávea Parador); Creative cooking. Approx. Euros 35.00. Excellent Menudel-día 17.90 Euros. Muzak here can be irritating (they say they play it to cover the noise from the kitchen !). You may BYO - but corkage is €9 !!!! Tel : 96 579.3145 / f. Monday midday / Web: http://www.buscorestaurantes.com/restaurante/Restaurante-Tosca-105829-0.html
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LUNGO MARE (Jávea, Arenal beach front) : Magnificent Italian restaurant - beware large portions (some can be shared !). Beware muzak can be bad ! Nearly always full so best to try to book. Tel : 96 647.1196 / open daily / Web : http://www.verema.com/restaurantes/46085-lungomare-javea
CALIMA (Jávea port, Avda. de la Marina Española - pedestrianized seafront). Next to Piri-Piri and recently refurbished. Marvellous, imaginative and sometimes rewardingly experimental. Jazz on Thurs. Menu del dia €11.95 (Mon-Sat) but Sun. €13. Tel : 96 579 4821 / open daily. Email: restaurantecalima@gmail.com
MEZQUIDA : Main road from Jávea towards Arenal, on right side, just after Iceland roundabout on left but before Sol-Mar offices. Good ambience/very popular Spanish 'family' restaurant. Serves the best Arroz negro (a delicious rice and squid dish) that we know of. Good prices, superb meat, spotless & mostly muzak-free. Delightful, large and musakfree terrace. Menu-del-día €16. Tel : 96 579.3620 / open daily CHEZ ANGEL (Jávea Arenal - close to Humpty Dumpty on right after http://www.restaurantemezquida.com/ Arenal traffic lights). Brasserie style. Excellent meat - absolutely the best Châteaubriand in the area (with Masena at No. 2 !). Wonderful Cous- NESFOR : Cta. Cabo de la Nao-Pla 25. Re-opened by the same famiCous. Serves copious vegetables. Menus del dia c.€16.00 & €25.00. ly after 14 years this restaurant has immediately impressed. A lunch visit Tel : 96 579.2723 / f. Tues [ no web site found ] (we ate à la carte) proved excellent. New parking area at the back. Tel: 96 646 3872 / E-mail: reservas@restaurantenesfor.com / Web : LA COCINA : leaving Jávea port towards the old town - on the corner of www.restaurantenesfor.com (under construction) the last of row of shops before petrol station. This restaurant is being talked about all over the Jávea community (and is runner-up for the LA PERLA de JÁVEA (Arenal beach front, right hand side). Menu-delGrapevine Restaurant of the Year Award). The food is truly excellent, well día €14. Consistently good reports all through the summer but fresh presented and served with charm and shows great flair. Adventurous comments would be welcome. Tel : 96 647 0772 / open daily / regional Spanish & international cuisine. Remarkably sensible prices Web: http://www.perladejavea.com/index.php?lang=es&section=restauand a fascinating and very honestly priced wine list; it is also a challege rant but do not be intimidated as you will receive good advice if needed ! PIRI-PIRI : Excellent/imaginative (copious) 'tapas'. Widely praised and Quality wines also available by the glass. Evenings only. Tel: 96 579.5140 (f. Sunday & Monday) / Web: www.lacocinajavea.com popular with residents. On the port's pedestrianised sea-front, leading from the bridge. Arrive early for lunch, but best to book. Excellent Menus/ E-mail : info@lacocinajavea.com del-día €11.50 (w/ends €13.60). Charming host & very professional - one LOS REMOS de la NÃO (Jávea, Arenal beach front) : French owned of our favourites and was probably the best of all the Arenal beach restaurants although Tel : 96 579.4745 / f. Sun.pm & Mon (closed early New Year). there have been recent reports of standards slipping with much increased competition. Lies at the extreme right hand end of the bay on PIZZERIA PEPA (Jávea: Arenal beach front, nr. middle). Spanish; excelthe edge of the large car park overlooking the beach. Fish a speciality. lent value, swift service. Pizza takeaway. VERY efficient, popular with good atmosphere; muzak low; must book ! Menu-del-día €16. The best Great views. Menu del día €15 (Sunday €20). Best to book. quick-service "family" restaurant at the beach. Tel : 96 579.2572 / open Tel : 96 647.0776 / Open 7/7. daily / Web : http://www.pizzeriapepa.com/site/page-2-2-3.html http://www.losremoslanao.com/index.php?section=restaurant LA RENDA : Jávea Port, right beside the Cinema Jayan. Beautifully appointed restaurant with some serious, adventurous and very creative cuisine - we even found Sweetbreads on the menu. Menu del día €12.50. Live music on Friday. Muzak turned off on request. Tel: 96 579.3763 / E-mail: larenda.javea@gmail.com N.B. This restaurant offers a bargain pre-cinema special menu from 18:45h (Mon-Thurs) at €14 which includes your cinema ticket ! See details above.
EL RANCHO : Cta. Cabo de la Nao (between the German clinic & Saladar SuperMarket). Another recently reopened restaurant ! A young British couple (Simon & Danielle) have taken over and added, recently, a French chef to make the 3-chef team. Well appointed and in delightful surroundings. Now the food can be taken seriously once again. Reports are, overall, very good to variable so they are still settling in. Menu-deldía (€13.95). We think you need to book ! Good parking either side of main road. Xmas lunch is already fully booked !! Closed on 31st Dec.. Tel: 96 577.1126 / f. Sunday p.m. & Monday. E-mail: elranchojavea@hotmail.com / Web : (under construction)
FAMILY RESTAURANTS / GOOD & RELIABLE (Euros 20 - 35 per LA RUSTICA (Jávea - Cami Cabanes) : Excellent (Belgian) cuisine, head) lovely situation/terrace (Menus-del-día €14 & €16). Poor muzak (someAUSTRIACO & Bakery (Jávea; Arenal beach front) - wonderful break- times too loud and "thumpy"). Take road to right of Barclays, right at fasts and the best bakery in Jávea (also known as Café Wien). Superb roundabout; it's along on the left after the first burmp. Tel : 96 577.0855 / bread/croissants from 07:00h daily. A top choice for breakfasts. (Another f. Sun.pm & Mon / E-mail: la_rustica@apdo.com Web : http://www.larusticajavea.com/ source of excellent bread is the Saladar Supermarket). Tel : 96 647.1004 / open daily / Web : http://www.austriacocafewien.com/index.php?idm=en JÁVEA's TOP MENUS DEL DÍA [ between €14 - €20 : full details in text ] BACCHUS (Jávea) : Wonderful quality, Swiss owned. Cook your own (superb) steak on stone. Pinosol-Cansalades road. Must book. Menus- Many restaurants are now producing menus-del-día of such outstanding del-día from €15 (W/ends €18). quality that we thought it best to recognise their achievement in listing Tel : 96 647.3096 / f. Mon. / them here. Fuller details in the main text. http://www.infocostablanca.com/bacchus/first%20en.htm 152 - Masena - El Rancho - Parador (€33) - Piri-Piri L'ÉCHALOTE :Jávea Costa Nova, beside the tennis club just before the Amarre La Plaza - Los Remos - La Renda - La Rustica - Sophia's (Thurs. La Guardia cross roads. International cuisine of excellent quality with cov- only) - Tosca ered terrace behind. Good parking. Tel: 96 647.3364 / [ no web site ] .... and, if you don't mind travelling a little further the sensational, Ca' Pepe EL GAUCHO : This re-opened restaurant is gaining numerous plaudits (Moraira) in the area under the management of the excellent Pizzeria Pepa (at Arenal). Our recent meal (for 8) was a considerable success. A very worthwhile restaurant for the residents of Montgó. Tel: 96 646.1338 / If you wish to be sent John Deacon's full restaurant listing, covering the Marina Alta, mail to : j.deacon@terra.es www.pizzeriapepa.com
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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Craft Corner Christmas Easel Card Show your loved ones you care this Christmas by sending them a homemade card. For both beginners and advanced card makers an easel card is a good choice as it is just a bit different from a basic fold and yet easy to achieve. An easel card will not only look decorative but will make your card stand out from the rest on the mantelpiece. You will need: A piece of A4 card Christmas toppers, decoupage or stickers Double sided tape or glue Foam tape First take a piece of A4 card, score at the half way mark
and fold it in half. On one side of the card, measure half way across, then score and fold along this central point (as shown in the picture). Take an A5 piece of decorative card and attach it to the front, only applying glue or double sided tape to the bottom as the top part will not be attached. Decorate this panel with your chosen Christmas toppers or embellishments. Cover the base of the card with decorative paper. Cut a piece of card to act as a stopper and attach this to the base of the card to stop your folded panel from slipping forward. This can be decorated to match the rest of the card. The top of the card will fold flat, to fit into a standard A5 sized envelope. Samantha and Sally at Fiesta Crafts would like to wish you a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous New Year. At Fiesta Crafts you will find everything that you need to make your Christmas, birthday and special occasion cards. You can find Fiesta Crafts at Local 22, Moreras del Saladar, Avinguida del Pla, Ctra Cabo La Nao, Javea , 03730. Telephone 966461788. www.fiestacrafts.eu.
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THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Page 19
A Gift from a Grateful King - Jávea Museum lengthened the windows turning them into fashionable full-length windows with little balconies. Hands up everyone who doesn't know where the Jávea In the 1920's its use was donated as an “asilo” for the museum is ? (… a great many) elderly – a sort of old people's home. Then after the Hands up everyone who didn't know there was museum Spanish Civil war it was turned into offices for the Post Office. in Jávea ? (quite a few ! ). In the 1970's Jávea's mayor was an enthusiastic amateur archaeologist, historian and painter called Juan Bautista Soler Blasco. He was so keen, he had a private collection of historical relics and opened a small museum in the Santa Anna chapel, where the technical office now is. He realised that more space was needed and in 1975 he arranged for the municipality to buy the Banyuls house. Two years later he opened it as a museum with (Tip: If you stand with your back to the doors of the Old himself as the first director and hence the museum bears Town Tourism Office and look straight down the narrow his name. road ahead, the museum faces you at the T junction at That is not the end of the story. As we all know, by the the end.) beginning of the 21st century Jávea town was very The building doesn't look much like a museum – in fact wealthy because of the building boom. Some of this it looks like a very big traditional town house, and that's money was ploughed into enlarging the museum by what it was when it was built - so the story goes – as a demolishing the adjoining building and creating a gift from the King of Spain to Jávea resident Antoni spanking new extension which includes display rooms, storage for specimens and an auditorium. Banyuls. This is hardly surprising, since there are no signs around town directing you to the museum. Even when you walk right past it you may not be aware of what it is because the sign is high up, made of smallish letters on ceramic tiles which together say “Museu Historico y Ethnografico Municipal JP Soler Blasco Jávea” - which is quite an eyeful.
So, the museum we have now is the result of several financial bonanzas and bits of good luck spread over more than 400 years. Traces of the past are there for those who have a keen eye. Once you find the museum (;-) go up the main staircase to the first floor and into the room which faces you. The floor is tiled with original 400-year-old small square “handkerchief” tiles of green and white, mixed with larger, brown terracotta tiles. See
There are several versions of the story which go something like this. Some time a little over 400 years ago, the Spanish Crown Prince visited Jávea with his friend and advisor the Duke of Lerma. They decided to play a game of “pelota” (Valencian handball – still played today) and fell out with each other over who had won a point. Crown Prince Felipe asked the spectators to adjudicate (you can imagine the deathly silence), and quick witted Antoni Banyuls said “ Your royal highness has not made a mistake, though the ball has” - thereby saving everyone's blushes (and necks). The prince was pleased with this diplomatic reply and when he became King Felipe III he remembered Banyuls and made him royal butler. Later, the King decided to build a house for his faithful servant in his home-town to retire to. Another story relates that when the King saw the estimated cost of the house he said “I mean a house – not a cottage!”
if you can spot the odd small tile out ( it was an antique in its day – then 100 years old – now 500). You can also look for the signature of the tile maker engraved on one of the terracotta tiles. He certainly chose a good place to leave his mark on the world – whoever he was! Chris Betterton-Jones
Note: The Museum is open Tuesday to Fridays: 10.00am to 1.00pm and 5.00pm to 8.00pm. By the 19th century the house belonged to the Piera Saturdays, Sundays and fiesta days: mornings only. family from Benissa who, like several families from Mondays: closed. Admission free. these parts, had become seriously rich as a result of the highly profitable raisin industry. They did what most The Friends of the Jávea Museum association people do when that have a bit of money to spare and an old house; they modernised it and did it up. They ripped (AMUX) has its website on : out the old staircase, re-tiled most of the floors and http://amuxabia.weebly.com/index.html
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Jávea U3A
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Restaurant in the Arenal, organised by group leader Gillian Breen. Restaurant owner Martin Cox took time out to chat to members about the preparation and cooking of Thai cuisine as they enjoyed a specially prepared selection of dishes. The Foodies’ next get-together will be on Thursday THE Christmas spirit has truly arrived for the Javea December 13, although the venue is yet to be confirmed. U3A with members already enjoying a host of festive Anyone interested in joining the group should email fun as the big day beckons. Gillian at gillian.breen@hotmail.co.uk. Highlight of the season was undoubtedly the committee’s annual Christmas Extravaganza, presented at the November general meeting, replacing the usual formalities. It was certainly a surprise and an unfamiliar sight to see association president Peter Allin together with membership secretary Howard Parker and shy and retiring member Roy Heaton dressed in women’s underwear opening the proceedings with a racy Winter Wonderland sketch! Then on came Roy’s wife Jackie and fellow member Sally Wells in their own very different version of the popular Christmas pantomime Aladdin – “Oh yes it was!” The show closed with a colourful Spanish dance routine cleverly executed by well-rehearsed members John Bellinger-Smith, Carol Pilgram, Ian and Jacqui Rogerson, Wilma Stevenson, Karen White, Jean Miller and Brenda Bates – who left celebrity dancers from TV’s Strictly Come Dancing struggling in their wake! The Costa Blanca Male Voice Choir returned after last year’s well-received performance to entertain the audience in their own inimitable style. * Look out for some fascinating (and revealing) pictures from the Extravaganza in next month’s Grapevine!
Pictured is Monsoon Restaurant owner Martin Cox, standing left, talking to Foodies diners about Thai cuisine.
There was an early Christmas Lunch and the opportuniThe hugely popular annual Barn Dance, held last month ty for Javea U3A members to dress up in their festive at Los Arcos Restaurant near Pedreguer was again a finery at La Masena restaurant in Javea in November, huge success. A total of 123 members and guests attend- organised by Mike Frost. ed and €826.82 was raised for the association’s nominated charity for this year, The Cancer Care Charity. The live band, Los Rancheros, who came all the way from the UK to perform, went down well, guiding dancers as best they could through the various routines! Special thanks were expressed by U3A president Peter Allin to organisers Peter and Pauline Speer as well as Shirley King, Val Dromgoole and all the other helpers and assistants who contributed to the event’s success.
picture shows retiring events co-ordinators Peter and Pauline Speer, left, with fellow diners at the lunch. However, the best Christmas costumes were displayed at the final Not Just Folk Music Club of the year at the Inn on The Green at the end of November when group leader Ian Mackenzie dressed up as a little elf – complete with a pair of huge false ears – to introduce a riproaring night of Yuletide-inspired music. The new Curry Club was launched with an inaugural supper at the home of group leaders James and Dodie Hodgkinson in Jesus Pobre. James and Dodie were photo shows some of the participants enjoying joined by six members - Tony and Heidi Hancock, Geoff themselves on the dance floor. and Sherry Spinks, and Ian and Jacqui Rogerson – who The Foodies had an early Christmas luncheon, sitting sampled cuisine from the Hyderabad region of India, all down to a splendid Thai meal at the Monsoon cooked and prepared by each of them.
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
The group will next meet in January when the theme of the meal will be Kashmir cuisine. If any U3A members are interested in joining the club, please email james@atwisteria.com for details.
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Couldn’t Afford a Theatre.
Away from eating and drinking, The Walking Group took on their biggest challenge of the year with a trek up the Montgo. Following a few days of heavy rain, group leader Clive White refused to be put off and, together with a small band of hardy souls, braved the elements to conquer the area’s highest peak. Unfortunately, by the time they reached the summit, it was shrouded in mist so views of the surrounding country and coastline were somewhat hampered – but an enjoyable day was had by all, as the photo taken at the top illustrates.
Front Tony Cabban and Simon Montague Rear Cherry Cabban, Keith Grant and Penny Grant Simon Montague has two great loves and two great talents; the theatre and providing hospitality. He couldn’t afford to buy a theatre, so, with partner, Angel Pando, he has bought a bar. Their bar Iberia, right in the heart of the Old Town of Javea, just round the corner from the old cinema which Simon would have bought and made into a life theatre if only he had the money, opened last Saturday, December 1. And some of his friends from his theatre days with the Javea Players were there to wish him well and to present him with reproductions of some of his press cuttings, framed for a place on the wall of U3A Travel Group members have enjoyed a number of his new bar. excursions, not least a day trip to Valencia. Two coaches were laid on to give members the choice of visiting Simon played his first stage role at the age of six, a shepthe Bio Park (zoo) or to enjoy shopping and other sights herd in his school’s naivety play. A year later his school, of this beautiful city – and both groups enjoyed their dif- Elmswell County Primary in Suffolk, staged a ferent experiences. Christmas Special and Simon played Father Christmas. The following year he came to Spain where he joined the children’s theatre group, JETS and he played in their production at the 2003 International Schools’ Drama Festival in Vienna. His performance led to him being invited to join the Javea Players and to him being one of the citizens of Vienna in their production of Amadeus. The following year he played Tom in Semi-Detached. Subsequent roles included Jack in the Players first pantomime, Dr Cornish in Shut Your Eyes and Think of England and the drama critic, Moon in The Real Inspector Hound. Moon is a pompous, wordy and vindictive second stringer theatre critic. Playing him is a challenge for any actor and the fact that Simon, at the age of 19, played him to the delight of his audiences and the winning of high praise of the local press drama critics was no mean triumph. Pictured are day-trippers Adrienne and Heidi getting up close and personal with a hippos swimming underwater at the Bio Park.
* The Javea U3A has more than 60 groups covering social, sporting, cultural and travel activities. If you would like to discover more about what is on offer with a view to joining, log onto the website at www.u3ajavea.org.
When Simon completed his studies work took him to Madrid and when he returned to Javea he joined the staff of a leading local restaurant and his working hours made it impossible for him to continue to participate in local theatre. His many friends in Javea Players hope that he will enjoy such success as a bar owner that in the not too distant future he will be able to find the time to become an active member of the Players again. They would quite like him to also make enough money to buy that old cinema.
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THE HOBBY HORSE AND GOAT
Timo Dee’s view on things, in and out of Javea, from up on his hobbyhorse (and with his old goat.)
"GEE-UP, OLD RAM !" So it was that my Old Goat (MOG) recently exclaimed. He went on... I don't like that tone at all. WE do our best to keep up, dear Timo But now it seems you want us to go even faster.What on earth is all this hurry about now? TD (Timo) I knew I was quite a bit behind by contemporaries, from long way back.But they all seem to be steaming ahead, so fast. It's, well beyond my capacity to ever catch 'em up. HH (Hobby Horse) Well just let them keep at it, I say. Please don't try to drag us along as well. I have a nasty feeling one of my wheels might drop off, if you keep on with this chase. MOG We hardly have time to sit and observe nowadays. HH Like all three of us used to, out and about in a bar or café with you?. MOG Nowadays you just leave us outside when you do pop into that 'JCC' fast service café. HH You come out muttering about needing to have more to bite on. MOG And your chums in there already getting faster service? HH And they seem to get know more abou what's on offer, especially if they find something tasty, that's free! TD There is only so much that I can digest at a time, on my side nowadays, it's best for me not to get too far into involved and also to avoid indigestion. Remember, by the way you two, bite in this case in spelt byte MOG How can that be? You say they are all eating eating away faster and faster, yet to not apear to be geting any fatter. Not like the rest that over- indulge! HH And as for callling our Billy just any old ram, that's not being fair to him either. TD Well, I have got some news for you two. On top of all the tablets that I have to take, I am getting a new sort shortly. This tablet is not on the National Health, so I hope I can get used to it, without close supervision. MOG Is this new one for your heart, gout or kidneys? TD I might react badly with it... and find it does me no good in any direction. HH I hope you don't mind my asking, but what benefit is it meant to give you? TD Well it's slim, neat and ever so smart. What's more I am allowed to touch and finger it lightly. big change from the days of being told "don't touch" or " keep your fingers off" or even stronger threats and worse admonitions .... HH A completely new set of rules for you, then? TD Looks like it. So much so that I am off to Ireland for a few days now, just to get used to it MOG Let us know how you get on with new tablet, as we can't be flying with you. TD I should really be OK. I have decided only to wait until I ge back before I start on the new tablet ..... MOG We shall enjoy not rushing around for a while then? TD Yes, that's right. this new tablet is so fast that I may be able to catch up just a bit with the others MOG But what if the others speed up even more meanwhile? TD I shall just enjoy fingering my new tablet. Goes by the name of Galaxy. When I so wish, can fit very com fortably on my laptop. HH I think I'm starting to get the picture....slim, neat and ever so smart, you say. Are you sure it's a tablet? TD That's more like it, my dear old hobby. You are starting to Gee Up already .....
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
The Tribe: Birth Of The Mall Rats by Harry Duffin is the first story in a series of novelizations of The Tribe. By popular demand we are proud to present novelizations of your favourite television series The Tribe! Birth Of The Mall Rats interweaves all the action of the first episodes and is the first book to be released in an ongoing series in a novel format of the actual television series. The world began without the human race. Now, after a mysterious pandemic decimates the entire adult population, it looks as if it will end exactly the same way. Unless the young survivors – who band together in warring Tribes – overcome the power struggles, dangers and unexpected challenges in a lawless dystopian society to unite and build a new world from the ashes of the old. The Birth of The Mall Rats is the first story in a compelling series of novelizations of the global cult television phenomenon, The Tribe. Creating a new world in their own image – whatever that image might be… This novel is currently on an exclusive pre-order basis for fans of The Tribe who use Facebook, Twitter or our website and will eventually be available around midDecember 2012 (such as on Amazon and through eBooks like Kindle).
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Funny Christmas Jokes and One-liners
We had turkey.
1) Angels Bert, aged 25. 'My wife's an angel'. Don, aged 57. 'Your lucky, mine is still alive'.Christmas Mistletoe
6) Reindeer Joke What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.
2) Christmas Kiss Romeo: What would it take to make you kiss me under the mistletoe? Juliette: An anaesthetic.
7) Sales Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. Handmade gifts for that hard-to-find person.
3) Christmas Drink A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre ...... So the barman gives her one. 4) Christmas Pudding Charms Silver Christmas charms bring you good fortune. Packaging Notice: Potential choking hazard: do not use with food. 5) How Was Your Christmas Meal? We had grandma for Christmas dinner. Really?
8) Christmas Joke Pizza Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino's for a pizza. The salesgirl asked him:'Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?' 9) Mike walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barmaid looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it. 'Tiny', answers Mike. 'Why's that?' enquires the barmaid. 'Because he's my newt' concludes Mike. (Will had to explain this riddle to me. My newt minute)
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Page 24
¡Feliz Navidad!
OK, in the spirit of Christmas, I have got my el Gordo tickets securely placed in the bank, where the children can’t reach them and I have already run out of “Cheese Balls” because they only sell them during the run up to Christmas and they get eaten as soon as they hit the larder… So I am now doing re-runs in my head of past Christmas disasters in the hope that I have learned from them – OK, so everything so far is going really well… the cat has been rescued from the Christmas Tree and the dog is being banned to the garage on Christmas day, as last year he started on the Christmas Lunch before we did. I am hiding the camera that our guests borrowed last year, as the images they took are burned into my retina display (they didn’t come back until after dark and apparently there were Naturists staying near us without curtains). I am pinning the events calendar near the kitchen door so that noone misses visiting the diorama display at the Soler Blasco Museum and the special exhibition in the Casa del Cable, from the 6th, by the the Betlemistes de Xàbia, the association which makes the dioramas, plus on the 13th December it is the Fiesta Santa Llúcia with the walk to the Chapel. There is a huge temptation to tell visitors that we will not be celebrating Christmas until el Día de Reyes on the 6th January, but as that might mean that I miss out on presents on Christmas day, I expect I will give in and ‘do the Turkey thing’. I don’t think that I will have the energy to cook a big meal on Christmas Eve in the tradition of la Nochebuena as well. The only day that I am not looking forward to is the 28th, el día de los Santos Inocentes, Holy Innocents' day, as I understand it is the equivalent of April Fool’s day. I am looking forward to last minute stocking-filler hunting – not least as it is an excuse to try different restaurants while we are out. Our business meetings start again on January 3rd at Peri Pera in Javea Port (7:30pm) and Denia meetings resume on January 8th at 12:30 - at Haweli Restaurant in Els Poblets, Denia. In celebration of our fifth anniversary, we have opened our networking meetings to make them free to non-members, we have changed our logo and we are now running a free Home and Leisure magazine online www.5Ws.biz Gaile Griffin Peers, MABC Club Manager: To find out more about Marina Alta Business Club, ring 966461913 or contact me on manager@mabc.biz.
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Page 25
Reindeer's Story at Christmas
'Too expensive,' muttered Nathan.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.
The young lady returned with a smaller bottle for £50. 'Oh dear,' Nathan groused, 'still far too much.'
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should have known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost. Names of the other Reindeer In addition to Rudolph, Santa has nine more reindeer who haul the sleigh the other reindeer are called: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner.
Trust Him?
Growing rather annoyed at Nathan's meanness, the sales girl brought out a tiny £10 bottle and offered it to him. Nathan became really agitated, 'What I mean', he whined, 'is I'd like to see something really cheap.' So the sales girl handed him a mirror.
Christmas Quotes: 'Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!' Ogden Nash 'Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveller back to his own fireside and quiet home!' Charles Dickens 'Love came down at Christmas; Love all lovely, love divine; Love was born at Christmas, Stars and angels gave the sign.' Christina Rossetti I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, Just like the ones I used to know, Where the tree tops glisten And children listen To hear sleigh bells in the snow. Irving Berlin
On the Sunday before Christmas Reverend Billy Graham was walking down Highland street in Mt Holly, North Carolina on his way to see a parishioner. However, he wanted to post a parcel urgently so he asked a young boy where he could find the post office. 'I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old familWhen the boy had directed him, Reverend Graham iar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeat. thanked him and said, 'If you'll come to the Church this Of peace on earth goodwill to men.' Henry Wadsworth evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get Longfellow to heaven.' The boy replied, 'I think I'll give your sermon a miss. If you don't even know your way to the post office, how will you lead me to heaven?'
Mirror Image On Christmas Eve, Nathan thought it would be nice to buy his wife a little gift for the next day. Always short of money, he thought long and hard about what that present might be' Unable to decide, Nathan entered Debenhams and in the cosmetics section he asked the girl, 'How about some perfume?' She showed him a bottle costing £75.
Saying a Prayer for the Christmas Meal Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Page 26
with Dr Christoph Semler
Dr. Christoph Semler qualified as a doctor at the University of Frankfurt and then specialised in General Practice in the UK. He is a Member of the Royal College of General Practitioners, holds a Diploma from the Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, a Diploma in Child Health Surveillance. He opened his private practice in Jรกvea in 2001. Dr Semler is fluent in English, Spanish and French and has a working knowledge of Dutch. Dear doctor, I want to ask you about my diabetes. I have been a diabetic for more than 15 years and always been good on tablets. I now take metformin three times a day and also euglucon three times a day. Last time I had my blood tests the doctor told me I might have to go on insulin. I do not want this, I do not like injections and having to handle the ampoules and all that. I am now 64 years old and also take medication for high blood pressure and drops for glaucoma. Is there not some other medication I can try or do I have no other choice? Dear Liz from Javea, there comes a moment in life when we have to face the stark truth only to find we do not like it. Such a moment seems to have come up for you. Your doctor says it is either insulin injections or bad diabetes control with all the unpleasent consequences. However, in your case there might indeed be an alternative solution to tak-
ing insulin injections just now. You write your blood test results were worse than before. I assume you refer to the blood sugar levels which are usually taken to see how well the sugar is controlled. Your doctor is not happy, so the readings will be too high. There are two tablets you take, both apparently to the maximum dose. They make for a very sensible combination and usually work well together for a long time. Now comes the but: at some point these two tablets will simply not be strong enough to keep the sugar levels controlled. It is the almost inevitable course diabetes takes: it gets more and more difficult to control on any combination of medication. And when this moment arrives the option of going on insulin injections has got to be considered. Now, there are more tablets to chose from for diabetes control than the two you are already taking. There have been quite a lot of new developements in the treatment of diabetes lately opening up new ways of dealing with
it. It would be going into too much detail to list these new drugs but they are here in Spain and can be prescribed by your GP before switching you onto insulin. Having said that, there is an even better way of dealing with poor diabetes control: you find it entering the magic world of exercise. Exercise is the key to diabetes management. In all medical text books it always says the first line of treatment for a diabetic is diet and exercise. It is cheap, selfadministered, very flexible and even more effective. It will certainly help in somebody like you, Liz, who has been a diabetic for many years and now finds that managing the illness suddenly becomes more complicated. And it does not take a lot to get started. The type of exercise I am talking of is aimed at weight reduction and some build-up of muscle tissue. It is well demonstrated that regular cardiovascular exercise and a moderate amount of muscle training helps bring sugar levels down to almost normal levels even in well-established diabetes. So I suggest you start by power-walking. An impressive word for a rather humble activity: just long walks at a brisk pace including some uphill stretches. At the beginning 20 minutes would be enough, at least three times a week. A good measure for having done well is the sensation at the end of the walk of feeling a bit puffed out. No need to run or to sweat or wave sticks about, just walk at a quick pace. Once you get into the swing of things extend the length of your
walks to 30 and even 40 minutes. Look for more challenging roads with more up-hill bits or go four times a week. A bit of muscle build-up is also necessary. Gentle does it, no need to turn into Popey. But in the end it is mainly the muscle tissue that burns up sugar. So, by using your muscles and actually stimulating your body to build new muscle tissue you remove sugar out of the blood stream. Just like that. No medication, no side-effects, no prescription charges. I am certain that doing this regularly will bring your sugar readings down and probably also achieve that you can drop one or two of your tablets. And there is another benefit that comes with the exercise: your blood pressure will be better as well. Should your cholesterol be high it will also go down. Sugar down, blood pressure down, cholesterol down, health and life quality up: what could be better. All you have to do is to get started one day and be carried away by it.
OPENING HOURS Monday - Friday 0900 - 1300 . 1600 - 1900 Apointments: 96 646 3912 Emergencies: 648 779 659 www.euroclinicajavea.com
Dr Semler will be happy to answer your health mail in the next issue of Grapevine. info@euroclinicajavea.com
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Dr. Walter van Harmelen
Page 27
DENIA Aldea Felina
Gynecologist Emergencies 620 179 108 Clinica La Plaza Javea Tel:- 96 646 1120 www.5starclinic.com
Cat Protection League
The Missing Five Pound NoteSnowman Stories
Aldea felina is a charity registered in Spain to shelter, feed and re-home cats abandoned in the Denia area. Our helpers all work on a volunrary basis
Chippenham George worked for the Post Office and his job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day just before Christmas, a letter landed on his desk simply addressed in shaky handwriting: 'To God'. With no other clue on the envelope, George opened the letter and read:
We have a variety of feline friends, old and young, waiting to be adopted. All adult cats are blood tested, wormed, vaccinated and sterilised and the kittens wormed and vaccinated. If you can give a loving home to any please call Lynda on 648100629.
Dear God,
We also require short-term foster homes, teaching the young to interact with people or to bring an ill cat to full health. If you can help, please contact us on one of the numbers above.
I am an 93 year old widow living on the State pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had in the world and no pension due until after Christmas. Next week is Christmas and I had invited two of my friends over for Christmas lunch. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. God; can you please help me? Chippenham George was really touched, and being kind hearted, he put a copy of the letter up on the staff notice board at the main Fareham sorting office where he worked. The letter touched the other postmen and they all dug into their pockets and had a whip round. Between them they raised £95. [$170 USD] Using an officially franked Post Office envelope, they sent the cash on to the old lady, and for the rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter simply addressed to 'God' landed in the Sorting Office. Many of the postmen gathered around while George opened the letter. It read, Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your generosity, I was able to provide a lovely luncheon for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift - in fact we haven't gotten over it and even Father John, our parish priest, is beside himself with joy. By the way, there was £5 [$10 USD] missing. I think it must have been those thieving fellows at the Post Office. George could not help musing on Oscar Wilde's quote: 'A good deed never goes unpunished'
CAT OF THE MONTH These gorgeous little kittens are 2 of triplets we have ready for a home now. We have many cats and kittens who are desperate to be with a loving family by Christmas. If you would like to adopt a kitten, or an older, more sedate cat, please call Lynda on 648100629. For more information see our new website – aldea-felina.blogspot.com. We Need Your Help! We are always in need of people to help out at the centre. If you have a few spare hours one morning per week and would like to spend them caring for young kittens, or would be prepared to help cover for sickness and holidays at the centre please call Lynda. Donations Donations are most welcome as one-off gifts or regular payments. Lynda can provide you with the relevant information or see our new website http://aldeafelina.blogspot.com. Every little helps. We’d also like your bric-a-brac, books and unwanted gifts, to sell in our charity shop at Els Poblets, close to the (well signposted) veterinary clinic. Open Mon to Sat: 10-2.
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Page 28
PUZZLE CORNER
Compiled by Martyn Hardy
CHAD'S QUIZ RATING
0-5 Some learning to do. 6-10 You're getting there. 10-15 Join a quiz team. 16-20 You should be on T.V.
1. In which country is the Inca city of Machu Picchu? 2. Which TV family had a pet dragon called Spot? 3. What is an Appaloosa?
Across 8. If broke, live where it´s warm ! (8) 9. Ability to get story from bible (6) 10. Allow soldier in, just (5) 11. Celebrity guest arrives in this (4) 12. Business at home makes a little money (4) 13. Over - tense ? (4) 14. In favour of breaking noses if it´s one´s line of work (10) 15. Admire Pole putting in counter (7) 17. Country seat in disarray - nothing inside (7) 21. Many involved in fight, though none charged (4,3,3) 24. Accomplished tutor takes English (4) 25. Patient beginning to be sick may get one ! (4) 26. Aquatic centre featuring seal and duck (4) 27. Note, real distress may be signalled thus (5) 29. Diana gets small drink outside and starts eating (4,2) 30. Demanding hug, plan to be embraced (8)
Down 1. Left one to have a go at rescue (8) 2. Rubbish advice on how to downsize ? (8) 3. Number ten is done up (3) 4. Notices faulty component (7) 5. Arrests model going around King´s Head with no clothes on (8) 6. Originally she does not have a pair of trousers (6) 7. One doing abstract in colour (6) 16. Pulling a face, throw animal inside (8) 18. With whom one was romantically involved an unsuitable match, perhaps (3,5) 19. Gran into changing in the dark (8) 20. Used to have discount fish (7) 22. Ingredient in cake not quite lifting (6) 23. Note, Holland first to sign up (6) 28. Walk home ! (3)
4. Berlin stands on which river? 5. What is Tiger Wood´s real first name? 6. Which two planets have no known moon? 7. In which Australian state is Ayer´s Rock? 8. What was the first bird released by Noah? 9. What is an apiarist? 10. Which Christmas song is based on a poem by Robert I May? 11. How is candy floss known in the USA? 12. How many sides does a rhombus have? 13. On a yacht, what are “sheets” ? 14. Where did Davy Crockett die? 15. Name the Three Wise Men? 16. What is the name for a young turkey? 17. Which is the world´s largest fish? 18. What is the capital of New York State? 19. Who was the first man to walk on the moon? 20. In Peter Pan, where did the Lost Boys live? Last months answers are on page 33
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Page 29
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THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Page 30
SATELLITE KNOW HOW
Richard Pollock Consultant Electronic Engineer First may I wish the all , Best Wishes for Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Dish becomes a 1.5 metre Dish, this we find in practice happens quite a lot!
With the expected changes in signal levels that threaten our reception of U.K. National Television Services including BBC1, 2, 3 and 4 and also ITV, Four, Five etc it may be time to review Satellite Dishes.
Mention things growing is not the whole story, one Client had enjoyed excellent reception from a 2.4 metre Dish strategically installed at the rear of the side garden, this operated for several years and then it was decided to build a Car Port leading off the road, however as was being constructed the roof line was going to interfere with the line of sight of the Satellite Dish, careful measurement suggested it would be O.K. if the Car Port was moved forward by a metre, on this occasion this was not a problem, the Car Port was a success and the Client still enjoyed quality reception. Finally have a check on the surface of the Dish, has it picked up and signs of bumps, scratches etc (often caused by gardeners catching the Dish while carrying equipment) people often forget that the Dish Face is machined to very a close tolerances and a one millimetre distortion can alter the profile of the signal reflected into the LNB Feed Horn,yes its that critical!
Most people in Javea and surrounding districts who wanted the best possible quality of reception of H.D. transmissions elected to have a quality 2.4 metre Satellite Dish, along with an LNB, again of offering maximum rejection of cross channel interference and again using Webro 100 or CT100+ Cables which offer minimum reduction in loss of signal. There are several checks that the system owner can make themselves, probably the first check to be made is to study the position of the Satellite Dish, we have had a very hot summer and this has promoted rapid growth of everything in the garden including, Shrubs, Bushes, Hedges and Trees. For maximum reception conditions it is vital that any of the aforementioned that are in direct line of sight of the signal should be cut back, best to stand behind the Satellite Dish and take a line at some 36 degrees, to ensure that you are somewhere near have a side view look at the Dish observing that from the LNB (this points to the centre of the Dish ) now imagine that following this line skywards then if their are any obstacle's they should be cut back, if its a branch of a tree easier said than done! Its quite surprising that Shrubs can often be allowed to grow in front of the Dish and of course they again mask the signal and so your 2.4 meter
Another area of checking involves having a close look at the LNB itself, mounted on the tripod at first glance it appears to be tilted from centre point in a clockwise direction to about 10 o.clock do not be tempted to straighten it up, this tilt is to match as best possible the off-set value of the actual Satellite Transponder out in space, its a very specific adjustment and for complete accuracy requires to be completed by a Technician using quality Test Equipment, you can check however that it feels quite tight, as it should be, it is also possible to slide it nearer or
farther from the Dish Face, again it requires very accurate adjustment again require quality Test Equipment for maximum accuracy! Finally, it does pay to check out the input of the Feed Horn, this item is attached to the LNB and faces the Dish Face Plate, it has a range of circular rings and in the middle the entrance to LNB proper. It should have a plastic cover, however in time and with the extremes of heat this can be displaced or lost, however a quick cure it shape a small piece of Polystyrene (you can press a piece of Polystyrene against the Feed Horn entrance hole , this will give you the size and then allow a couple of centimetres in length and trim to suit) before inserting the replacement cover have a look up the through the centre hole and ensure no little beasties have made a home! should that be the case use drinking straw to encourage them to leave! At the same time check out the connections to the LNB, they will either be Rubber Boots, these can crack or as an alternative covered by Self Amalgamating Tape, do not use ordinary Electrical Tape as in time it slackens and allows an ingress of water.
print tomorrow !!!) is that it may be the Wednesday 5th or Thursday 6th of December 2012. When all settles down then I will be taking a range of readings using my Promax Test Equipment right across all the Astra/SES Satellite Transponders at 28.2 degrees SSE and of course my main object will be to log the various signal strengths and most vital the BER (Bit Error Rate) readings using a 2.4 metre High Gain Satellite Dish with a top class combined Feed Horn/LNB. The readings I take will be used as the the ’Template’ and a comparison I can then use when solving the quality of 2.4 meter Satellite Installations
An inspection of the Concrete Base can be quite revealing, any cracks in the construction may indicate base movement, in frequent heavy rain I have known a base sink by a few millimetres, this can rapidly alter the whole performance settings, yes, when Fringe Area condition are with us this can be a major concern. Finally the cables should be inspected, checking that they are secure and nor rubbing against any protrusions causing damage to the outer cable and of course any ingress of water, follow the cable run checking for cracks in the outer cable, usually caused by heat and ensure any clips used have not damaged the cable.
The equipment I use is the Promax H.D. Ranger + Series plus some of the Add ones, so if you have some £5,000 to spend you can purchase one, on the downside as Peter and Geoff remark they are still expected to supply this level of equipment, plus a vehicle, Fuel, Tax, Ins and ‘ Know How ‘ and compete with people charging 50 Euros for an alignment, its the old, old story pay Nuts and you get a Monkey!
At the moment we are all still enjoying very good reception of the U.K. National Programmes, however word has it that this is sure to change! In last month Grapevine I mentioned that it was imminent and mention was made of mid November, the last information I have (not confirmed as yet , on the 3rd of December and we go into
It should be worth mentioning that information coming out of the U.K. points to an even more reduced signal than that that prior to February of this year when even 2.4 metre Satellite Dishes in this area of Spain could manage a BBC1 signal and ITV1 signal till after midnight Spanish Time, however BBC2 as an example usually faded away between 8 P.M. and 10 P.B. and BBC3 and 4...........well we just had to forger about receiving them.
For those requiring further information, please check out my Web Site. I will always try and answer your problems via e-mail, however with some of the more complex problems, without conducting a 'Field Test' which involves a home visit and of course conducting a series of test it is impossible to reach a conclusion. Richard Pollock B. Ed I. Eng FIEEIE Consultant Electronic Engineer Formerly Lecturer in RTVE at Bradford College Telephone 670 362 395 (Monday - Friday 10 AM to 6 PM) e-mails to richardsatellitesolutions@gmail.com Web Site at www.richardpollock.biz
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
JPG Computer talk
Grapevine@jpg-assistencia.com telephone: 644 46 41 49
Hi Everyone! Last post of the year… it’s amazing how time flies! It seems like it was only a few days ago when we were getting tanned under the sun by the sea or our swimming pool… and here we are, with Christmas looking at us from around the corner! This season, apart from family meetings where we eat & drink too much we receive or give big and or little gifts to those who we have nearby and perhaps, if we or they have been good and the economy allows it, one of those gifts might be a computer that might have Windows 8 installed on it, so why not revise a little the latest operating system from the Microsoft family? Believe me, if you turn your new device on without any prior info about this version, you will surely be surprised, not only with how it looks, also with where things are now!! To start, the classical Start menu disappears and in comes the new touch-oriented Start screen with new apps (that’s how programs are called now), new interface treaties - even experienced PC users may be left feeling a little lost! Its brand new interface it’s composed of all different color tiles and touch-friendly apps. If you're using a tablet then it'll all be very straight forward: just swipe left or right with your finger to scroll the screen, and tap
on any tile of interest to access its contents. If you are not using a touch operated device, don’t panic, you can still use your mouse to move around and select the different options. The mouse wheel will allow you to scroll backwards and forwards through the tiles you see and obviously the left click to access the desired app. Right click (or swipe down - if you use your fingers) on apps you don't need or require them on your new ‘Start page’ and select Unpin to remove them from the initial tile menu. To arrange them in a more suitable order for us, just drag and drop the other tiles around to organize them as you like. The keyboard can also be used to navigate through the screens. Pressing the Home or End keys will jump from one end of your Start screen to the other; then use the cursor keys to select a particular tile, tapping on Enter to select it. Pressing the Windows key will return you to the Start screen. This Start screen’s apps are initially displayed in a fairly random order, but if you'd prefer a more organized life then it's easy to sort them into custom arranged groups. For example, you can form a separate ‘Social’ group by dragging People, Mail, Messaging and Calendar
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over to the left-hand side. If you run out of visual space on the screen (it can happen as you install more software), clicking the 'minus' icon in the bottom right corner of the screen will zoom the view out and we will now be able to see the whole list of tiles. Then you can drag and drop the new group (or any of the others) around as a unique block. While we are still at the zoomed out view, if you right click within the block you'll also be able to give the group a name, which - if you go on to add another 20 or 30 apps to your Start screen - will make it much easier to find the tools and applications you need. Something many of you will appreciate is the Quick access menu feature, which is accessible by right clicking in the bottom left corner (or holding down the Windows key and press X). This will pop up a menu that provides easy access to lots of useful features, such as the Device Manager, Control Panel, Explorer, the Search dialog and a few more. All for now! I hope that with this brief introduction you can start working with your new device, if Santa is happy you’re your behaviour this year… On further posts we will continue discovering Windows 8 together.
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. With this thought, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, all the Happiest Holidays and all the luck the New Year could possibly bring to you and all yours! Please find our contact details on our advert in this edition; in case you have any questions or queries, we can assure a quick and professional reply. If these queries are of general benefit, we will post the reply on further editions of the Grapevine so they can be for everybody’s benefit. Also, please visit our new Facebook page, where we will try to keep you all posted on latest news about computers and the world around them. Here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/p ages/Valencia-Javea/JPGAsistencia/1215141978777 46 you will find a link to the Grapevine’s website too, where you’ll find the latest edition for online reading. Back to work till the next post!
Until then, keep clicking!!
grapevine@jpgasistencia.com
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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Local Club Directory The Marina Alta Business Club The club meets twice a week in the evenings. All nationalities welcome. Meetings conducted in English. Contact Gaile on 96 646 1913, email manager@mabc.biz Javea International Magic Club For more information please call 627 046 897 or 96 579 2808. Royal Air Force Association. The North Costa Blanca Branch meets at Los Arcos Restaurante, Pedreguer (N332, west side) on the second Monday of each month at 12:00 to 13:00, followed by lunch. We have nearly 140 members, who enjoy friendship, help and support with RAFA; and we always look for new members who have, or have not, served in the RAF. For more information, visit www.rafa-ncb.org or call 966 430 215 Toscamar Tennis Friends Join us for a friendly game of tennis on Mondays and Wednesdays 10.00 12.00 at Ciudad Toscamar, Javea. Just turn up or ring Christine on 96 649 3900 Costa Blanca Yachting Association The CBYA welcomes all boat owners; We meet every week, please our for details & location of the meeting website www.cbya.org. Costa Blanca Astronomical Society Meets on first Tuesday of every month at 4 p.m. in Montgó Visitors Centre in Dénia. For details and directions call Ed Morley on 96 574 4612 or e-mail cbastronomy@gmail.com Scottish Country Dancing Enquiries please call 96 645 6881. Stamp Collectors/Philatelists/Postcards Meeting - 2nd & 4th Monday of every month at Marples Bar, Avenida La Fontana , Arenal at 10.00. For more details please call Derek Guyett on 96 579 5499 or Dave Anderson on 96 647 6034 The Firs Nursery Mother & Toddler Group Every Monday from 14.00 - 15.30. Children aged from 18 months to school age. Call 96 647 2929 for more information. Backgammon Club We meet on Mondays at the Grand Cafe residential Toscamar at 20.00. For more information please call Steve on 96 647 1708 or 635 377 335. Javea Netball Club Playing Wednesdays, 20.00 - 21.30 at L'Ancora Playa Tennis club. contact Anita on 96 647 2169 or 660 782 165.
Javea Al-Anon Support Group The Al-Anon group for friends or relatives of alcoholics to share their experiences. No membership fee. Call 96 646 3689. Expatriate Ostomates of Spain EOS Contact Cynthia on 96 646 0063. MABS Cancer Support Group Jacqui 96 579 4083 or 686 305 006 Brenda 678 843 666 Valencia area Cynthia 652 835 063 Kirsten 646 865 308 Rian 619 876 062 www.mabscancersupport.org Stress Busting Yoga Club in Javea Yoga for beginners. We meet Tuesday at a house on the Jesus Pobre Road. For more infomation call Maria Palomar on 96 646 0851. Art Clubs Art Clubs which are for Oils, Watercolurs, Pastels, Acrylic & now meet in Javea at ArtyFacts, Denia, Cumbre del Sol & Benimeli. Call Lesley Clark 96 579 4462 or email lesleyclarkjavea@gmail.com Wall Hangings and Rug Making Club We meet every other Tuesday in Javea from 09.30 - 12.00. Contact Amanda on 639 987 301 or email amrug@telefonica.net Art Centre Association - Javea Subjects available are: - Painting in Oil, Acrylic, Watercolour, Pastel, Drawing, Mixed Media, Portraiture, Creative Textiles and Restoration of Porcelain. Join in at any time. Come and visit the Art Centre, we can fax, E-mail or post you info: and a map, or for more details phone:- Lorely Griffiths, Javea – 96 647 20 49. E-mail: artcentrejavea@yahoo.com Patchwork/Quilters Group meet Wednesday 10.00 - 13.00 at the Centre Public Formacio e Persones Adultos in Javea, Calle Ramon Llido, Javea. Contact Debbie on 96 579 0086 Javea Public Lending Library Borrow books in English from Javea Public Lending Library, FREE! The English section is open every Tuesday and Saturday morning between 10.00 - 12.00. The Javea Public Library, Calle Mayor 9, Javea Pueblo, the old town. Javea Public Lending Library: Contact Alma Dorndorf on 96 646 3262 or 636898162 Javea International Civic Society Enquiries to Jeni Jackson Phillips 96 579 0470, 619 270 493. Javea School of Bridge and Social Club Edifico 80, Avenida Tamarits.
Tel 96 649 1539. Crochet & Soft Yarn Club Meets fortnightly in a private house in Javea. Contact lesleyclarkjavea@gmail.com or phone 96 579 4462. Taoist Tai Chi Society of Javea New instrucors, new space. Beginners welcome anytime Monday and Wednesday 11.30 at Danza Ronda Sur (near paint shop in old town) Info 649 161 290. Javea Bridge Club Avdna de Paris 2. www.javeabridgeclub.com or call Margaret on 96 579 3413. Javea Book Circle We meet on alternate Tuesdays at 19.30 for 19.45 at the Centro Social, behind the Centro de Salud Contact Eleanor Joy on 96 647 2876 UFO Discussion/Research Group We meet on the first Friday of every month at 10.00 for 10.30 start in the Social Services Centre Javea. contactPresident, Jeanine El
Khouri. Tel.no 965795148 or Christine Newton tel.no. 618111376. Group e.mail ufojavea@gmail.com
The Javea Branch of the Royal British Legion meet every 2nd & 4th Tuesday of each month. We start our meetings at 11.30am but most people start arriving at 11.00am to have a coffee etc, before we commence our meetings. You don't have to have been in the services to now join the Legion, anyone can join or come along and see what we do. We have a great social programme thought out the year, so come and join us, you will be most welcome. Make your self known to Pam and Roger. Javea Whist Club Javea Whist Club meets every Monday and Thursday (7.45 for 8 p.m.) at L’Ancora Playa at the Arenal to play progressive partner whist. All card players welcome particularly at the Thursday session when the numbers are lower. Women in business club Monthly Business Meetings open to all members and non members, but you must be a WOMEN THIRD MONDAY OF THE MONTH JAVEA - L'Ancora Tennis Club Time: from 2pm to 4pm Location: L'Ancora Tennis Club The Javea Players, Amateur Theatre in English, Contact Membership Secretary: 96 579 0379 email: membership.jp@gmail.com Apart from putting on several plays per year we also have social nights
in our Studio and a monthly Cinema Club,we are situated behind Book World , a few doors away from Fuentes Restaurant in Thiviers, Javea. Costa Blanca Anglo Spanish Association We enjoy meetings and trips to further our knowledge and understanding of Spain; its history, geography, culture and institutions.New members are welcome. Visit the web site on www.anglospanish.org or email the secretary on secretary09@anglospanish.org Peña Javeamigos The international supporter's club and now the primary source of information for CD Javea. For more details, see www.javeamigos.com Benitachell Christian Fellowship Sun. 11am in the Arts Museum Tel David Newman 650738638 Ray Davies 96 649 4036 New Country Linedancers Line Dancing classes every Thursday at Socco on the Arenal Beginners: 7.00 - 8.00pm Intermediate: 8.00 - 9.30pm For further information phone David on 96 647 0632 ARNAAP Association of Royal Navy, Army and Air Force Personnel. If you enjoy lunching in congenial company join us. It is not essential to be Ex-Service, just like minded. Call Susan on 966 404650, or shollister@hotmail.com Costa Blanca Male Voice Choir rehearse every Tuesday 7-9pm, at Bar Mediterraneo, Teulada. New members always welcome, no experience necessary. Come along and give us a try! Tel: Mike Evans 965744577 or go to our web site: www.costablancamalevoicechoir.wikidot.com Arsenal Costa Blanca Supporters Club, meet every match day at Cheers Bar, Javea Port under the archway. All club matches are shown live. If you live in or around Javea or are just visiting and would like to renew or start your support for the club, come along. All will be made welcome, young or old. Any further information, e-mail, Bob at arsenalcostablanca@gmail.com Crib Club every Thurs 8pm at Bombers Bar in the Port If you would like your club to be included , please contact us at info@grapevinespain.com or tel: 96 579 2649 or call in to the Copishop in Javea Port
CLASSIADS
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
For Sale Nearly new cat travel basket. New 32 euros on sale for 20 euros o.n.o. Contact Nancy on 965 793 582
550 euros. Buyer collects. Tel: 965 771 365 Mob;- 610 684 926
Wanted Light weight aluminium wheel chair 96 5766 520
GARAGE WANTED TO RENT. Min. 6m x 3.5m must be secure & easily accessable. Balcon al Mar or Costa Nova area. Tel: 965 771 365 Mob;- 610 684 926
FOR SALE Nearly new pool table, incl waterproof cover,4 cues,1 rest balls etc.
FOR SALE. Hot Chilli Peppers. For more details call Flo. King 966 470 256
24h DUTY CHEMISTS in Jávea November 2012 7-1
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EMERGENCY CHEMISTS 1 Consuelo Espinos Soliveres Plaza de la Iglesia, 11 (Old Town) 2 Farmacia Belchi-Cholbi Ronda de Calón, 4 (old Town) 3 Amparo Marsal Romany Avda. Rey Juan Carlos I, 33 (Port-Town) 4 Isabel Garcés Castells Servilla, Edificio Adumar I, (Port) 5 María Paz Uriol Batuecas Playa Arenal (Beach) 6 Juana María Ripoll Ripoll Ctra. Cabl la Nao, (Cala Blanca) 7 José Miguel Muñoz Moltó Anda. de Lepanto, 12, (Port) 8 Rosa Må Perez Ortuño Avda. del Pla, Cabo la Nao, 9 Almodovar Morell, Antonio Vte Plaza Joanot Martorell, 5 Local 3 10 Gol Esquer, Lydia (by Quicksave) Ctra. Cabo La Nao Pla 121 11 Lillo Garcia, Ana Maria Antonio Bañuls, Esq. Ramón Llidó 12 Salort Miralles, Vicente Ctra Del Cabo de la Nao, 165 13 Marin Lluch, Antonio Avda. Augusta, 30
Information provided by Må Salomé Martínez Pastor at the Av. Lepanto, 12, Farmacia.
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Business Cards OFFER Full Colour-Design Included 100 single sided 20€ 200 single sided 30€ 500 single sided 40€ Double sided +50% CALL IN TO THE COPISHOP or call us on
96 579 2649 LAST MONTH'S ANSWERS The entry with the most correct answers to last months quiz is Eric Johnson of Javea. The prize, a 12 Euro Book Token donated by Bookworld España can be collected from the CopiShop, Jávea Port. 1. Pablo 2. The electric battery 3. A puma 4. A crash 5. Mojave Desert 6. Martial Arts 7. Basil 8. The candlestick 9. Ganymede 10. Anne 11. The Dead Sea 12. Gustav Holst 13. 8 14. Honolulu 15 Westminster Abbey 16. Edwin Hubble 17. Alcock & Brown 18. Digital Versatile Disc 19. Cockles and mussels 20. Orange
Telephones of Interest Emergencies Town Hall Local Police Guardia Civil Fire Service Red Cross Ambulance Health Centre Port Amjasa Water Post Office Electricity Disasters Taxi - Radio Town Port Alsa Buses Culture Centre OMIC Tourist Centre Port Arenal Museum Justice Dept. Rubbish Library Town Port Centro Socia Sports Hall Prop. Register Notary Creama Parking Abril
112 96 579 0500 96 579 0081 96 579 1085 112 96 579 1961 96 579 6099 96 642 8150 96 646 0456 96 579 0162 96 579 0053 901 20 20 20 96 579 1295 96 646 2179 96 579 3224 96 579 1060 96 579 1015 902 42 22 42 96 579 4151 96 579 3499 96 579 4356 96 579 0736 96 646 0605 96 579 1098 96 579 1093 96 579 6161 96 579 3938 96 646 2652 96 579 1405 96 579 2000 96 579 2319 96 579 0504 96 579 4266 609 648 900
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APASA Kennel Talk
Asociacion Protectera de animales de San Antonio The APASA Javea dog refuge provides accommodation for over 200 abandoned and stray dogs . APASA is proud of its reputation of never putting a healthy dog to sleep. The APASA centre can be found behind the Tormos garden centre, off the Cami Cabanes in Cami de les Sorts. For further information, please ring Nicole: 96 646 3976 or Maggie: 96 574 4449. www.apasa.javea.eu
WE ALL AT APASA WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT DURING
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
other male dogs with girls he feels in heaven. He has a good character, he does not jump and he walks perfectly on the lead. Turko is one of the dogs that could become an excellent guard dog but a family member as well. YERRY, male, Shelter since 12.05.2012 Retriever Mix, DOB 01.04.2012 – Puppy What beautiful puppies Yeti and Yerry are! They have an amazing colour and are so lovely. They could have walked straight out of a commercial! Their eyes are blue and noses pink. What more can I tell you. Only that these little gems need to go to paradise soon. Paradise for them would be a nice family, a well sized garden and lots of exercise. They can be adopted together, but would do
2012 AND WISH YOU A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.
very well without each other too.
PARIZA, female, Shelter since 23.09.2011 Podenco, DOB 15.09.2010
ZOE; female, Shelter since 28.08.2012 Labrador Mix, DOB 15.08.2010 – 54 cm
– 53 cm Can a podenco smile when she has been tied to our gate? Yes, but not out of
Zoe was probably abandoned on purpose because she was pregnant. A female
dog being shortly happiness! Pariza has an before giving birth is overbite, which makes her face very funny and almost highly exposed to look like a shark. But she is healthy and nothing seems to bother her at all. Pariza is very outgoing and active. stress in our shelter and we have therefore decided to put She loves to play and an active family would do her her into a foster home. There she has proved that she good. Other dogs and bigger children will not be any equally loves people and other dogs. She is house trained and she has awesomely looked after her puppies. problem for her, the more the merrier! Now that the puppies are getting more and more indeTURKO, male, Shelter since 28.09.2012
pendent or have even been adopted, it is high time to also find a new home for Zoe. She really is a very Alsatian Mix, DOB 15.08.2012 – 65 cm Turko was found straight forward dog that would really deserve a new somewhere in the chance. We would be very sorry to have to house her field, all alone. He here in the pound again. is a big boy, one of the biggest we EVENTS have in our shelter. We are busy planning events for 2013 and will be Turko does not like publishing these in the next issue.
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Politically Correct Santa 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to "Elves", "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety, Released to the wilds by the Humane Society. And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!? The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops. Second-hand smoke from
his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows: Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife, Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life, Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot. Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific. Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific. No candy or sweets...they
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were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden. For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt. Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, But you've got to be careful with that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground; Nothing fully acceptable was to be found. Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion; Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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By post to: Organización Nacional de Transplantes, C/ Sinesio Delgado 6-8, Pabellón 3, 28029 Madrid. By means of the Virtual Office (Oficina Virtual) of Portal del Clot office, Avda Amanecer 2 (Clot parking) the ONT on their web-page: e-mail: help@ajxabia.org Tel: 96 5790500 Ext: 1316 http://oficina-virtual.ont.es/tarjeta-de-donante/solicitud-de-tarjeta
HelpDesk for Foreign Residents
FACT FILE: Number 16
Overseas Healthcare Letter
The only information required is your full name and the postal address where you wish to receive the card. For those who are not entitled If, after obtaining the card, you at some point decide to UK-funded healthcare and not to continue to be a donor, then simply destroy the are applying for healthcare on card and communicate your decision to your family the grounds of low income members. Since the details you gave upon applying ("sin recursos") or applying to for the card are not registered anywhere, but are used join a regional autonomous for administrative purposes only, it is not necessary to healthcare scheme, you may be cancel the card nor is it necessary to communicate asked to provide a letter from your country of origin your decision to any organism. which confirms that they do not cover your heathcare whilst you are resident in Spain. The official name Residencia Applications for persons 65 and over for this letter is a "legislation letter" and it is available in Spanish. You can request it from the Overseas A British Help Desk "client" kindly sent me this upHealthcare Team in UK by calling Tel: 0044 191 218 dated information in connection with applications for 1999. Residencia .. first hand information: More information available on the British Consulate website which tells you what you need to know to get the letter. You need to give your National Insurance number, Date of Birth and date that you left the UK. Organ Donors A number of people have enquired as to how to become an Organ Donor. Here are the steps to take: first it is necessary to apply for the Donor's Card. This card indicates the desire to be an organ donor after death. The card, however, has no legal validity. Your desire to be a donor must be communicated to your family in order that they may authorise organ removal after death. There are several types of donor card issued by different organisms or patient associations; all of them witness the desire to be a donor at the time of death. How to apply for the card:
When he and his wife (both aged 65) went to their appointment at the "Extranjería" office in Denia, Avenida Marquesado 53, (previous appointment arranged) they were asked for the following documents: -
Completed EX18 forms (obtainable at the appoint ment) Original passports and photocopies S1 Forms from the Dept of Social Security in Newcastle, UK Copies of NIE numbers A payment of 10.30€ each was to be made at a nearby bank and proof of payment handed in They went armed with a Padrón certificate, a certificate from their bank indicating their monthly income, the title deeds of their property, their marriage certificate and their birth certificates (!!) .. apparently none of which were required.
You can call the National Organisation for Transplants (ONT) on 24 hr Tel Nº: 902300224 SEASONS GREETINGS Send an e-mail to: ont@msssi.es FROM THE HELP DESK!
TO
EVERYONE
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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Grapevine Services Directory INTERNET UK TV Watch TV on your computer Check it out at
uktv4u.com
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Tel: 616 300 950
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Telephone John Bridges on 966 471 030 mob 696 824 785
Painting & Decorating Peter Ayling. Tel: 96 646 0933 Mob: 616 375 608
Groups in Javea and Orba Call Sheena on 965 584 298
We bring IKEA to you! we make it so easy we shop for you we deliver to you we also assemble for you. www.easyflatpax.com sales@easyflatpax.com 96 647 0770/647 790 340
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T HE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
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SPANISH EXPLAINED by Teacher Writer Cathy Perez Pinto CATHY: Buenos días a todos. (Good morning everybody) Parece mentira que está acabando otro año y que se acercan las Navidades (It doesn’t seem possible that we are coming to the end of another year and that Christmas is approaching.) Supongo que es de las Navidades que queréis hablar hoy. (I suppose that you want to talk about Christmas today.)
ered to be a sacred place is that it represents the fertilisation of the land following a good harvest.) Solía ser un hombre vulgar en ropa tradicional, no obstante, últimamente parecen haber tomado la forma de celebridades y figuras públicas. (It used to be an ordinary little man in traditional clothing, however, lately they seem to take the form of celebrities and public figures.)
JOANNE: Sí, claro. (Yes, of course.) La Navidad es una época muy especial para muchas personas alrededor del mundo pero hay algunas extrañas costumbres en estas fechas en diversos lugares. (Christmas is a very special time for many people around the world but there are some strange customs at this time of year in many places.) ¿Las hay aquí en España? (Are there any here in Spain?)
IRVING: Catalonia tiene otra costumbre sorprendente ¿Verdad? (There is s another surprising custom in Catalonia, isn’t there?)
CATHY: Sí. En Cataluña, en los belenes, esconden una figura curiosa que se llama el “caganer.” (Yes. In the cribs in Catalonia they hide a strange figurine known as the “caganer.”) Es un hombre haciendo sus necesidades y la figura se presenta con los pantalones bajo defecando en cuclillas en el suelo, normalmente en una esquina retirada de la escena para que los niños se entretengan tratando de descubrirlo. (It is a man answering the call of nature and the figure is shown squatting down with his trousers round his ankles defecating on the floor. It is usually hidden in a corner of the scene so that the children can have fun trying to find it.) Una teoría para explicar como tal figura llegó a un lugar considerado sagrado es que es una representación de la fertilización de la tierra en pos de una buena cosecha. (One theory to explain how such a figure came to be in what is consid-
CATHY: Sí. Se llama el “Caga Tïo” y es un tronco de Navidad con una cara alegre y un sombrero rojo. (Yes. It’s called the “Caga Tío” and it is a Christmas log with a jolly face and a red hat.) Además, tiene una inusual propensión a “defecar” dulces en Nochebuena. (Furthermore, it has an unusual tendency to “defecate” sweets on Christmas Eve.) El Caga Tío hace su primera aparición en los hogares catalanes justo dos semanas antes de Navidad. (It makes its first appearance in Catalan homes just two weeks before Christmas.) Desde ese momento es alimentado diariamente con una variedad de delicias navideñas como dulces, caramelos y frutos secos. (From that moment on it is fed daily with an assortment of Christmas delicacies like cakes, sweets and dried fruits.) En Nochebuena los niños lo golpean con palos mientras cantan bien alto una canción tradicional para que descargue para ellos algunos deliciosos regalos que se reparten entre los niños. (On Christmas Eve the youngsters bang it with sticks while they sing a traditional song very loudly so that it will release some love-
ly presents to be shared among the children.)
or two unusual customs outside Europe. Aren’t there?)
NORMAN: Supongo que otros países europeos tienen sus costumbres raras también. (I suppose that other European countries have their strange customs as well.)
CATHY: Por supuesto. (Of course.) Por ejemplo en Caracas, capital de Venezuela, es costumbre en toda la ciudad, despertarse temprano por la mañana para ir a misa de Navidad en un inusual método de transporte, sobre patines. (In Caracas, the capital of Venezuela, for example, it’s a custom throughout the city to get up early to go to Christmas mass using a most unusual form of transport, roller skates.) En distintas zonas de a ciudad, antes de las ocho de la mañana, se bloquea el acceso vehicular para permitir esta forma poco convencional de transporte. (Before eight o’clock in the morning, in different parts of the city, access to traffic is blocked off in order to facilitate this unconventional form of transport.) La noche anterior los niños atan uno de los extremos de una cuerda al dedo gordo de uno de sus pies y el otro por fuera de la ventana para que los patinadores matinales les den un amistoso tirón cuando pasan por allí. (The previous night children tie one end of a rope to one of their big toes and hang the other end of the rope out of the window so that the skaters can give it a friendly tug as they go by.)
CATHY: Sí, es verdad. (Yes, that’s true.) Mientras en la mayoría de los países es Papa Noel o Santa Claus que reparte regalos, en tiempos navideños, en Italia es una amable vieja bruja llamada la “Bufana” que distribuye los regalos entre los niños. (While in the majority of countries it is Father Christmas or Santa Claus who gives out presents at Christmas time, in Italy it is a kind old witch called “Bufana” who distributes the presents among the children.) Una leyenda cristiana cuenta que tres hombres sabios se acercaron a la Befana para saber en que dirección dirigirse para visitar a Jesu Cristo. (A Christian legend tells of three wise men who approached the Befana in order to find out which direction to take in order to visit Jesus Christ.) Ella no supo ayudarles, pero fue tan hospitalaria que la invitaron a sumarse a su marcha. (She couldn’t help them but as she was so hospitable they invited her to join them on their march.) Ella rechazó la oferta aduciendo que tenía mucho trabajo en casa. (She refused their offer explaining that she had a lot of work to do at home.) No obstante, luego se arrepintió de su decisión y desde entonces recorre el mundo en búsqueda de aquellos hombres sabios y el niño Jesús, dejando regalos en las casas por donde pasa. (However, she later regretted her decision and ever since then she wanders around the world in search of those wise men and the baby Jesus, leaving presents in all the houses she passes.) VERONICA: Fuera de Europa habrá alguna que otra costumbre inusual. ¿Verdad? (There must be one
ROGER: A mí me han dicho que en Japón no se debe enviar una tarjeta roja de Navidad. (I have been told that you shouldn’t send red Christmas cards in Japan.) Sería considerado de mal gusto porque ellos envían sus notas fúnebres en tarjetas rojas. (It would be considered bad taste as they send their funeral announcements on red cards.) CATHY: ¡Qué curioso! (How weird!) Bueno, que sean lo que sean las costumbres vuestras, os deseo a todos unas Navidades muy felices y hasta el año que viene. (Well, no matter what your customs are I wish you all a very happy Christmas and see you next year.)
THE GRAPEVINE, December 2012
Time Marches on By Jessica Of necessity three young boys took their departure from Dares Salaam in Africa. Accompanied by their mother they boarded a “Comet” areoplane which took them all to Nairobi in order to kit them out with the “Kaptagat” uniform for their preparatory school, which was on the border of Eldorte and Kenya. With their mother they boarded in the “ Ambassador Hotel” in Nairobi. After wandering around the city looking at the shops, buying a few things for their toy lockers, the day arrived for them to leave. The 3 boys were wearing their school uniforms and just as they were leaving the receptionist said “ what very smart boys, they look great” then my eldest son Peter said “ thank you and this is my new watch, it is a Seiko” Then Johnathon my second son said “ Oh yes and I too have a new watch, look see it is a Seiko.” Then my little son Paul who was only eight years old said “Oh yes! mine’s not a seiko, just look at my watch. It was my brothers, it is very old and if you look closely you can see all the scatches on the face and all over the glass!!! we got them as lovely Christmas presents. Their mother and father were transferred to a place called Daressalam and were in fact married there 61 years ago. Happy Christmas Love Jessica.
Revised Christmas days Effective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary: Snowman 1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance 2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated 3) The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French 4) The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked. 5) The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills
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and high technology overkill. The high cost of stocks, appear to be in Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, order prompted the 6) The six geese-a-laying Compensation Committee constitutes a luxury which to suggest replacing this can no longer be afforded. group with ten out-ofIt has long been felt that work congressmen. While the production rate of one leaping ability may be egg per goose per day was somewhat sacrificed, the an example of the general savings are significant as decline in productivity. we expect an oversupply Three geese will be let go, of unemployed congressand an upgrading in the men this year selection procedure by personnel will assure man- 11) Eleven pipers piping agement that, from now and twelve drummers on, every goose it gets will drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. be a good one A substitution with a string 7) The seven swans-a- quartet, a cutback on new swimming is obviously a music, and no uniforms, number chosen in better will produce savings times. The function is pri- which will drop right to marily decorative. the bottom line Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans Overall we can expect a will be retrained to learn substantial reduction in some new strokes, thereby assorted people, fowl, anienhancing their outplace- mals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studment ies indicate that stretching 8) As you know, the eight deliveries over twelve maids-a-milking concept days is inefficient. If we has been under heavy can drop ship in one day, scrutiny by the EEOC. A service levels will be male/female balance in the improved. workforce is being sought. The more militant maids Regarding the lawsuit consider this a dead-end filed by the attorney's job with no upward mobil- association seeking expanity. Automation of the sion to include the legal ("thirteen process may permit the profession maids to try a-mending, a- lawyers-a-suing"), a decision is pending. mentoring or a-mulching Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven 10) Ten Lords-a-leaping is dwarfs is the right numb 9) Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps
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