Second Bull: “I actually have too many cows to take care of properly. I can spare a few. Not looking for any trouble.” They both look over at the third bull and see him hoofing up the dirt, shaking his horns back and forth and snorting as loud as he GearHead returns home a day ear A passenger in a taxi heading can. for Tampa Airport his bike broke down and he caugh when he leaned over to ask the driver a question First Bull: “Son, don’t be foolish --- let him have some of your “Pervo” was recently at the Fair and he just stood next to one of of town, and then grabbed a cab. and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his cows and live to tell about it.” It’s after midnight. the displays and this gal comes attention. up says “So what are you selling ThirdofBull: can have all 10 of my I’m just making or able to do?” While on cows. his way home, he asks t The driver screamed, lost control the“Hell, cab,henearly would be a witness. The man susp hit athe bus, drove up how overoldthe curb stopped sure and he knows I’m a just damn bull.” Pervo thinks quick and says “I have ability to guess having an affair, and he wants to c you are just by feeling breasts.”inches from a large plate-glass window. act. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. woman goes to the Doctor worried about her husband’s temper. The girl is kinda’ intrigued. “Really. Well then, go on.” After about Then, the shaking driver said, A“Are you o.k.? I’m so For $100 bucks, the cabby agrees woman says, I don’tQuietly know what to do. Every day the my husban 20 seconds of Pervo fondling she gets impatient says, the “Come arriving home, sorry, but youand scared livingThe daylights out “Doc, of me.” husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It kinda’ scares on, how old am I, when was I born?” Pervo says “I reckon you to apologized to the toe into the bedroom. The badly shaken passenger GearHead switches on the lights, driver and said, “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on me.” be in your mid 20’s, but you was born yesterday.” is that his your wife, in bed the shoulder would startle someone so badly.” The Doc says “I have a cure forback that. and Whenthere it seems just as he suspected! The driver replied, “No, no, I’mhusband the one who should angry, just take a glass of water, take a big A wife thinking she’s being veryapologize, modern thinking treats her my hubby GearHead puts his gun to the nak it’s entirely fault. Todayisisgetting my very gulp and swish and swishfor but don’t it until he either to a birthday night at the local expensive strip club. At The Club, The swallow wife shouts, first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse leaves the room or calm down.”‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you the Doorman says, “Hey, Jimbo,the howpast ya’ been buddy?” The wife 25 years.” money Two weeks later the woman comes backfrom to themy Doc Aunt lookingSarah. fresh says “how does he know you?” and Jimbo replies, “I play football Mildred, the small town gossipand and self-appointed HE paid for the Audi I gave you on relaxed. w/ him.” Once inside the Bartender says “Hey, Jimbo, you want monitor of church morals, was always one to stick HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. “Doc, that Most was a brilliant Every timefor my your hubby season started losing the usual?” Jimbo turns to his wife saysinto “before you people’s say herand nose other business. mem- idea! HE paid tickets. it I just swished and swished my mouthful of water but never anything he’s on the Darts Team.” Next hot stripper yells downdid not approve of her bers ofa the congregation HE paid for our house at the lake. but she was fearedswallowed due to her and lethal he just calmed right down.for How doesAfrican a glass oftour with HE paid your from the stage Hey, Jimbo, you intrusions, craving the Special tonight?” forked tongue, so everyone maintained their sibuddies and your new ATV. water do that?” The wife storms out the door dragging Jimbo by the collar and lence. HE does paidnothing. for the custom rims for yo Doctor says, “The water itself hails a taxi. Jumping in the taxi She the Taxi Driver says, “Hey, Jimbo, took that fatal step too farThe one day, when she HE paid for our Family WaterWorld It’s keeping your mouth does theeven trick.”pays the monthly du you sure picked up a fugly one this time....”. accused “Lightning”, a biker, and new member of shut that And, HE the Church, being an alcoholic after she saw his Jimbo should be fine after his testicles return toof their individual Private schooling. old Chevy pickup parked in front of pray the for small town’s histhe head fromand side-to-side Please my wife. A bee Shaking stung her on forehead she sacks. only bar all morning and late into the night. Shedied. ers his gun. He looks totally confu is in I.C.U. She almost emphatically told Lightning in front of the entire cabby and says, Luckily, Ithat was pickup close enough to her and was able to hit the bee Three bulls heard the Rancher was bringing in another bull onto congregation that “Everyone seeing ‘What the hell would you do? as doing”. hard as I Fact could was, with a shovelThe at the very second the abee the ranch. there would know what he was cabby neverthat skips beat and stung Gus, her. the bar Lightning had this volunteered First bull: “I’ve been here 5 years. I’m not giving new bull anyto help his ass with that blanket before he owner, repair a leaky ceiling in the kitchen. But Gus cold.’ of my 100 cows.” was not a member of the congregation nothing Leroy slides so off his trunks at the beach and places his hat over his Second bull: I’ve been here for 3 years and have earned my right was brought to light. “Putter” and all his golfing buddie privates. A woman walks by and says “if youwhile were ahe’s gentleman to 50 cows. I’m keeping all my cows.” Lightning, a man of few words but plenty of action, the green got a very im you’d life your hat.” Leroy says, “if you didn’t look like somebody Third bull: I’ve only been here astared year and so far you guys have at her for a solid minute, then just got up win the game that’s not over 15 fe church. hit you in the face with a shovelstraight it would in. lift itself.” only let me have 10 cows. I mayand not left be asthe big as you twoHe butsaid I’m nothing. Later that early morning; around 1:00 a.m., Light“Handicap” yells out, “come on, a keeping all 10 of my cows.” ning parked his pickup directly in front of Mildred’s all want to finish at his girlfriend’s Baby Shower and sees allup and grab a dr Just then a shiny cattle hauler pulls up in the pasture carrying the house, walked home, and left Grumpy it thereis all night long Putter replies back, although in a his gal’s tummy sayinghere huh? My biggest bull the 3 bulls had everand seen.late At 4,700 eachhour. step these women patting and rubbing into pounds, the lunch “don’t bust my balls “Congratulations!”. this massive animal takes strains the steel ramp. on the Club’s veranda watching us Things get ittoright”. He pops another beer and grumbles himself,Handicap “How come yells back, First Bull: “Well, I think I can spare a fewThat cows Make for our You new Go Hmmmm?? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when forget about that’s way to nobody is over here you rubbing my“Nah, balls and saying “Goodit, Job!?” friend.” Lil’ Johnny was kicked out of Math class and when he sat down in the Principal’s office she asked him what happened. Lil’ Johnny said “The teacher asked the class what comes after 69? Well, apparently “Mouthwash” was the wrong answer”.
get undressed, only to sit down in front of you and see all you got to see in plain view, when they return to the room?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
never hit her from here”.
One year, I decided to buy my mo cemetery plot as a birthday gift The next year, I didn’t buy her a g
