Gulf Coast MotorSports Magazine May 2015 by Jimbo Perkins

www.GulfCoastMotorSports.com

MAY 2015

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Vol. 20 No. 5

Cruizin’ in the passin’ lane By: Jimbo If I remember right, I was talking about rain last month and it’s still raining, what's up with that!! Well April showers are over… May flowers and all that.. May is a great month. During May some of the most memorable moments in my life took place. May is, or at least should be, a memorable moment for all of us. The freedoms we have here in this country are defended by our service members. Think of all the history our country has lived thru, and we still have our freedom. Remember them on Memorial Day. I put the history of Memorial Day on page 14 and there's more to this day than “it’s the start of the summer car season.” This month the magazine is filled with things to choose from. Cruisein’s, car shows & benefits….and they all want you to show up. If your car/ bike/truck is not running (or your in between vehicles) go as a spectator. Most of the clubs that put these events on are giving away the proceeds to someone in need. By attending you get hours of entertainment and the feeling of “helping out” a worthy cause and it’s is great way to spend some free time... You may have noticed the last few months I’ve posted a flyer for “Happy-Daze” June 26-28 at the Dragstrip. Truth is it’s a party, 3 days of camping, cook-outs, 60’s, 70’s & 80’s music., live local bands, vintage campers, trucks, vans & art cars. It’s not a car show but lot’s of folks will be showing their stuff. And some if it will be for sale. We have a chance to make an annual weekend event. All you have to do is show up and have a good time. Bring stuff and set up a tent, let’s have a party. Jimbo, An Ole boy over here in South Georgia drove one of those field cars about a ‘55 and worked at the pickle factory for about 15 years or so. Anyway, one day he came home and told his wife he had been fired. She said “what in the world happened?” He told her every since he worked there he wanted to put his Johnson in the pickle cutter. So he got up enough nerve and just did it. She jumped up ran over, pulled his pants down and said, “But your ok! What happened to the pickle cutter?” He replied, “they fired her too!” …

Publisher & Editor-in-Chief - Jas. “Jimbo” Perkins E-mail: Jimbo@dixiepress.com Advertizing & Production - 228 596-0664 CRUIZIN’ IN THE PASSIN’ LANE HOT COFFEE…… STREET RODDER NEWS … SCRAPBOOK TRUNK TALES…… TEXAS TALES………………….... 17 FOREVER…… DIRT TRACK MEMORIES…… CAR EVENTS………………….... SATURN V………. LETS RIDE……….. CLASSIFIED…………………. IT’S CUZ……….. BUSINESS DIRECTORY …… SUBSCRIPTION FORM……

Jimbo page…...3 JR page…...5 Donna Holland page…...7 Candy Cocktail page…...8 Greg Hole page…...13 Rusty page…...14 Terry Mason page…...16 Larry Dunham page…...18 page…...22 Page…...34 Page…...45 Page…...48 Page…...54 page…...55 page…...71

Cover & Centerfold by AdPix.Biz IRONS...News The morning started wet to say the least, however the Boulevard Cruisers persevered and in spite of the wet start put on a good show. The Misfits showed up and were well represented, they won the club participation award. Cars slowly began showing up as the weather cleared. There was also some good Bar-B-Q as the show was a side activity to the Bar-B-Q competition. Lets see Cars Trucks and Bikes and some good Bar BQ, it just don't get any better. Awards were given promptly at 3 pm the Boulevard Cruisers thanked all who came out in support of the event and participants were off to cruise nights or home. Oh and this is a little fellow named Bryce, I decided he needed to win this plaque. Great job Bryce. This is how you make an impact give a small one an award. The future of our hobby is all around us, try to make a positive statement. Later Gizmo This has to be the Inspirational photo of the month… and I think your hat says it all….thanks, Gizmo. Jimbo

seaytrucking@ Now you truckers got some stories…. Jimbo Learn to write your hurts in the sand and carve your blessings in stone. Till next month…

Jimbo May 2015 model is Erin …..our Magazine Photographer at AdPix.biz could “Feature your vehicle with a pin-up model, and possible feature for the centerfold in Gulf Coast MotorSports Magazine” if interested send email to: jack@adpix.biz

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MAY 2015

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The Cole Report….. Great day in picayune at the barbecue cook off and car show for the Boulevard Cruisers. Started out wet on the 6am ride up but cleared up by 9am and got sunny. Good turnout Misfits won the club participation award 18 member cars. Good food, music and fun. Left at 3:30pm headed to Froogels for our monthly 2nd Saturday Cruisin. Great turnout and tonight we made our donations from out Gnat Nationals car show last month. We gave the Hancock county senior citizens a check for $1000 and the C.A.S.A organization of Hancock county a check for $6000. This should help the 430+ children in the counties custody due to family problems. ….. Al

I decided to do something different for this month's Hot Coffee. I was eating a dressed and pressed po-boy at Fayard's in West Biloxi the other day and wondered how many places served good poboys. Now I like the dressed and pressed ham and cheese at Fayard's. Then there is the Shrimp po-boy at Ben's Deli in Gulfport. You could make another po-boy from the shrimp that falls off, it has so much. The thing that makes a good po-boy is the French bread that used. There are several types of French bread, but the best is the New Orleans type of French bread. Kind of crunchy on the outside and kind of soft on the inside. So if you have a favorite po-boy café or restaurant send me an e-mail and I will put the name in next month's magazine. If you live away from the Mississippi Coast send it anyway. We may be going through your town and need a place to eat. My e-mail address is: james.f.roberts@att.net Till I hear from everybody and we eat again. J. R.

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MAY 2015

The Day started off for me early and mighty cold as my drive to the Gnat Nationals proved to be a chilly experience. 40 degrees no top and a 30 plus mile drive at 6:00 a.m. is frigid. Thawed out and helped a little with the setup and parking of the over 150 cars trucks and motorcycles. The day warmed slowly but nicely. Lots of great food, one can never go hungry at this one. Lots of money raised for some of the clubs chosen charities. Many new friends were met in this one as well. Seems like the 17th edition was well represented by several states even one as far away as Michigan. The awards were presented promptly and by 3:30 we were saying thanks for attending and hope to see you down the road soon. Great cars Great folks and Good food. Oh and the music was just right too. Fun was had by all. Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just a sampling of those in attendance.. Till next time Later Gizmo

MAY 2015

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Thomas H. (CW) Smith NSRA MS State Rep. Donna Holland 228-332-3006 NSRA MS State Advisor Jerry Cuevas 228-326-7489 NSRA Safety Inspections

NSRA EVENTS May 1-3 Street Rod Nationals South Plus Chilhowee Park & Exposition Center, Knoxville, Tennessee May 22- 24 Mid-America Street Rod Nationals Plus Ozark Empire Fairgrounds, Springfield, Missouri June 5-7 Street Rod Nationals East Plus York Expo Center York, Pennsylvania June 26-28 Rocky Mountain Street Rod Nationals Plus Colorado State Fairgrounds, Pueblo, Colorado July 31 - Aug 1 Wiggins, MS. 2015 Mississippi NSRA Appreciation Day at Flint Creek Water Park, The NSRA appreciation Day will be July 31 and Aug. 1st. it is not a show, no awards just a fun day. The Red Creek Classic car club is hosting the 2 day event. The NSRA Ms. Rep "Chicken Willie" Smith and Ms. State Advisor Donna Holland and NSRA Inspector Jerry Cuevas will be in attendance. Don't forget to bring you NSRA membership card to get your appreciation pin. They will have hamburgers and hotdogs and ask to bring a favorite picnic dish to add to the meal. Hosted by the Red Creek Classics Charlie

David Laws was presented the NSRA Mississippi advisor pick at the Gulf Coast Auto Show. He and his wife June are very proud of their 1988 Jeep Grand Wagoneer. The Jeep was bought new in Leland, Mississippi with 5 miles on the odometer. David and June have had many antique cars, 14 antiques cars and sold the last one a 1931 Packer, and used the Jeep to pull the trailer. They keep the Jeep now, it is a antique, and show it. They have 148,800 happy Jeep miles and intend on putting many more.

601.528.1172. or Terry 601.528.1361

August 6-9 Street Rod Nationals® Plus Kentucky Exposition Center Louisville, Kentucky September 11-13 Street Rod Nationals North Plus, Kalamazoo County Expo Center & Fairground, Kalamazoo, Michigan September 18-20 Northeast Street Rod Nationals Plus, Champlain Valley Exposition. Burlington, Vermont October 9-11 Southeast Street Rod Nationals Plus. Florida State Fairgrounds, Tampa, Florida The safety of your street rod is of vital importance. If the street rod does not meet a certain set of guidelines, an accident can cause more than just replacing the parts. The NSRA or National Street Rod Association is the organization doing the safety inspections. Keep in mind that these safety inspections are completely voluntary. In most cases, safety inspections can be done at many of the street rod shows around the country. Generally, when a safety inspection is done, it is good for one year. http://www.streetrod101.com/safety-inspection.html

Harold Dittmann joined the NSRA at the Atomic Blast. He live in Perkinston, Ms. and enjoys making laps on the track in his 30 Roaster. He is also a member of the Misfits and enjoys playing with his cars. If you want to join the NSRA just call and I’ll sign you right up Donna - 228 332 3006

Call today….. NSRA Safety Inspections - by Jerry Cuevas www.GulfCoastMotorSports.com

MAY 2015

228-326-7489 7

By Candy Cocktail

MAY 2015

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MAY 2015

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MAY 2015

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I was born in 1948. Cadillac was the first to put fins on a car in 1948. So let me see, there were at least two significant events that occurred in 1948. The true postwar design history at Cadillac begins with the development of the 1948 model. As WWII drew to a close, there was a climate at Cadillac which had never existed before. Forces of unrest were afoot and a couple of key people, who might otherwise be relied upon to make important decisions, weren’t even there. The 1948-1949 Cadillac was a dream-come-true. It was the dream of a young boy way back in 1920. Years before that, the boy’s Detroit socialite mother, Clara, had purchased the third Cadillac ever built in 1903. Since that time there had been a long succession of new Cadillacs in the woman’s life. The boy had literally grown up with Cadillac. There was something in the boy that was awakened and he had a deep appreciation for a welldesigned machine. Promising himself that one day he would design a Cadillac, that boy grew up to be one of the most influential automobile designers of all time: Franklin Q. Hershey. He settled into a position with General Motors in Detroit and he quickly gained recognition and support of Harley Earl, GM’s design czar. One day in the late 30’s, Earl received government permission to take some of his best designers to Michigan’s Selfridge Field to see a secret military aircraft. Designers Bill Mitchell and Frank Hershey were among the group. Though no one knew it then, this field trip was destined to become legendary in the history of automotive design. There on the runway sat the thirteenth Lockheed P-38 Lightning, the twin-boomed aeronautical marvel that was going to set combat records in the coming war. This radical design opened Mitchell’s and Hershey’s eyes to previously un-thought-of possibilities. They were transfixed by the elegance of the plane’s design. When the story of the 1948 Cadillac is told, the influence of the plane’s tail fins is usually the predominant theme, however, the effect of the plane’s design was much more than that. Mitchell said: “You have to understand the value of what we saw in that plane’s design. We saw that you could take one line and continue it from the cowl all the way back to the tip of the tail—that you could have one unbroken, flowing line.” True tail fins are a sweep of the fender itself. “The first tail fins, and the ones that followed for several years, were a response to America’s post-war fascination with the jet age,” said Jeff Leestma, president of the Automotive Hall of Fame. “At that point, air travel had evolved from using propellers to jet engines, and everyone was fascinated with this new jet age. And the stylists at the car companies, particularly at General Motors and Chrysler, really embraced that sensibility in terms of their designs.” After WWII General Motors recognized two elements that helped sell cars. These were the vehicle design itself and the automatic transmission. Engineering is important, but GM felt that people

would not buy what they could not see. You can see the chrome and enjoy the automatic transmission, but the engineering is under the hood and essentially out of sight. The tail fins made a visual statement. The ’48 Cadillac was an instant success with buyers. When dealers first saw it, however, they were apprehensive and some were downright scared the public wouldn’t like it. Any negative opinions the dealers harbored were overshadowed by the public’s instant and massive demand for the car. In 1948, Cadillac was the luxury car to own. Production didn’t start until February, 1948, but even with a short run, demand was higher than supply and 52,706 cars were built. The tail fin was clearly fueled by competition as General Motors and Chrysler were embattled in a race of sorts to see who could bring the biggest, most radical, dashing, and attention-getting fins to the marketplace. Harley Earl and Bill Mitchell of GM and Virgil Exner at Chrysler were in a duel to out-do one another with the biggest and sharpest tail fin. Generally, big tail fins were not part of Ford’s strategy, although the T-birds had some fins. The Packard Hawk had some pretty big tail fins on it when you consider the size of the car. The ultimate fin for size and flamboyance was considered to be the 1959 Cadillac. That is as large as the fins ever got. They used a lot of chrome and tail lamp pieces that visually reflected the jet age. This car appeared to be getting ready to fly away. After 1959, designers felt they had taken the tail fin trend as far as it was going to go. The public had enough of the ever expanding tail fin. The designers then went with a cleaner look. By 1965 there wasn’t a tail fin to be found.

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Gotta Cruise! Cubby

MAY 2015

Three years after the Civil War ended, on May 5, 1868, the head of an organization of Union veterans — the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR) — established Decoration Day as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. Maj. Gen. John A. Logan declared that Decoration Day should be observed on May 30. It is believed that date was chosen because flowers would be in bloom all over the country. The first large observance was held that year at Arlington National Cemetery, across the Potomac River from Washington, D.C. The ceremonies centered around the mourning-draped veranda of the Arlington mansion, once the home of Gen. Robert E. Lee. Various Washington officials, including Gen. and Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant, presided over the ceremonies. After speeches, children from the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Orphan Home and members of the GAR made their way through the cemetery, strewing flowers on both Union and Confederate graves, reciting prayers and singing hymns. Local Observances Claim To Be First Local springtime tributes to the Civil War dead already had been held in various places. One of the first occurred in Columbus, Miss., April 25, 1866, when a group of women visited a cemetery to decorate the graves of Confederate soldiers who had fallen in battle at Shiloh. Nearby were the graves of Union soldiers, neglected because they were the enemy. Disturbed at the sight of the bare graves, the women placed some of their flowers on those graves, as well. Today, cities in the North and the South claim to be the birthplace of Memorial Day in 1866. Both Macon and Columbus, Ga., claim the title, as well as Richmond, Va. The village of Boalsburg, Pa., claims it began there two years earlier. A stone in a Carbondale, Ill., cemetery carries the statement that the first Decoration Day ceremony took place there on April 29, 1866. Carbondale was the wartime home of Gen. Logan. Approximately 25 places have been named in connection with the origin of Memorial Day, many of them in the South where most of the war dead were buried. Official Birthplace Declared In 1966, Congress and President Lyndon Johnson declared Waterloo, N.Y., the “birthplace” of Memorial Day. There, a ceremony on May 5, 1866, honored local veterans who had fought in the Civil War. Businesses closed and residents flew flags at halfstaff. Supporters of Waterloo’s claim say earlier observances in other places were either informal, not community-wide or one-time events. By the end of the 19th century, Memorial Day ceremonies were being held on May 30 throughout the nation. State legislatures passed proclamations designating the day, and the Army and Navy adopted regulations for proper observance at their facilities.

MAY 2015

It was not until after World War I, however, that the day was expanded to honor those who have died in all American wars. In 1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday by an act of Congress, though it is still often called Decoration Day. It was then also placed on the last Monday in May, as were some other federal holidays. Some States Have Confederate Observances Many Southern states also have their own days for honoring the Confederate dead. Mississippi celebrates Confederate Memorial Day on the last Monday of April, Alabama on the fourth Monday of April, and Georgia on April 26. North and South Carolina observe it on May 10, Louisiana on June 3 and Tennessee calls that date Confederate Decoration Day. Texas celebrates Confederate Heroes Day January 19 and Virginia calls the last Monday in May Confederate Memorial Day. Gen. Logan’s order for his posts to decorate graves in 1868 “with the choicest flowers of springtime” urged: “We should guard their graves with sacred vigilance. ... Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.” The crowd attending the first Memorial Day ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery was approximately the same size as those that attend today’s observance, about 5,000 people. Then, as now, small American flags were placed on each grave — a tradition followed at many national cemeteries today. In recent years, the custom has grown in many families to decorate the graves of all departed loved ones. The origins of special services to honor those who die in war can be found in antiquity. The Athenian leader Pericles offered a tribute to the fallen heroes of the Peloponnesian War over 24 centuries ago that could be applied today to the 1.1 million Americans who have died in the nation’s wars: “Not only are they commemorated by columns and inscriptions, but there dwells also an unwritten memorial of them, graven not on stone but in the hearts of men.” To ensure the sacrifices of America ’s fallen heroes are never forgotten, in December 2000, the U.S. Congress passed and the president signed into law “The National Moment of Remembrance Act,” P.L. 106-579, creating the White House Commission on the National Moment of Remembrance. The commission’s charter is to “encourage the people of the United States to give something back to their country, which provides them so much freedom and opportunity” by encouraging and coordinating commemorations in the United States of Memorial Day and the National Moment of Remembrance. The National Moment of Remembrance encourages all Americans to pause wherever they are at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day for a minute of silence to remember and honor those who have died in service to the nation. As Moment of Remembrance founder Carmella LaSpada states: “It’s a way we can all help put the memorial back in Memorial Day.” Source …. http://www.va.gov/opa/speceven/memday/history.asp

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ACCORDING TO WHOM? by: Nancy Morgan

Political correctness is loosely defined as "avoidance of expressions or actions that can be perceived to exclude or marginalize or insult people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against." In other words, millions of Americans have willingly allowed themselves to be placed in the losing position of continually being forced to prove a negative. "I'm not a racist," "I'm not homophobic," "I'm not a greedy capitalist"...ad nauseum. Political correctness is a hugely successful campaign that has effectively altered traditional standards of behavior in order to advance the political agenda of mostly left-leaning groups. From gay rights, to feminism to open borders, PC rules dictate that you conform with the prevailing groupthink at the risk of social ostracism. I will not let others dictate manners to me. I was brought up to be respectful of others and to live by the Golden Rule. In other words, I have good manners. So why should I allow others to impose their "manners" on me? Especially when their "manners" only apply to favored groups. Here are a few basic facts. America is the greatest country the world has ever known. We have equality of opportunity, not outcome. Respect must be earned, not granted, and promoting self-esteem is just a subtle message that it's OK and even desirable to be selfish. Most politically correct "elites" who purport to speak for you have been educated way beyond their intelligence. Life isn't fair and everyone is not equal. If any of your "rights" are paid for by others, they not rights, they are entitlements. And redefining words to make them politically correct does not change the underlying reality. A rose is a rose and a jerk is a jerk. With a black man in the White House, I have also decided that I will no longer lower my voice when discussing race. And since I graduated from high school long ago, I've decided that I will never refer to words by their first letter. Those that refer to "the n word" or "the p word" are people who have willingly allowed others to set the rules. They are sheep who have acquiesced to group-think in a vain attempt to appear "with-it." From now on, I will call a lie a lie, not a misstatement. Just because many people lie does not make it right. And I will not allow my opinions to be called judgments. I will not allow debate to be redefined as argument, and I most certainly will not have anyone tell me that my point of view is invalid unless they can prove it. I will ask myself these four questions that will determine the validity of any statement: At what cost? Compared to what? According to whom? What hard evidence do you have? If you're content to allow others to define you, by all means, keep playing by the politically correct rules. If you're OK with allowing others to manipulate your sentiments to achieve their own agendas, feel free. If, however, you value individual freedom and common sense over group-think, maybe it's time you joined me in starting to fight back against all this PC nonsense. It's easy. Just say no.

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Metal print - aprox 11x15 - $20 includes tax & shipping. Check to: DIXIE PRESS 路 P.O. Box 2847 路 Gulfport, MS 39505 www.GulfCoastMotorSports.com

MAY 2015

Car show season is here…but unfortunately so is the rain. I can’t remember a wetter spring time. We (The Coast Cruizers) kicked off our season with The Gulf Coast Auto Show, our Mega Cruize-in and Easter Sunrise Service. All were well attended. The Coast Cruizers each handled different parts of these events. Saturday April 4, The Gulf Coast Auto Show brought people to the coast and filled the Shular hotel properties parking lot on HWY 49 in Gulfport. It was the largest show in the three year history of the show. Folks came, spent the night, enjoyed activities on the Coast and spent their money. Saturday night they all met with local cruisers and enjoyed a good night of fellowship, looking at cool cars, talking cars and enjoying good music. Auto Zone stepped up to the plate once again and provided great door prizes. We began the night with awards from the 3rd Annual Gulf Coast Auto Show and finished it off with a generator we gave away from Gulf Coast MotorSports. Great door prizes were given away from Auto Zone during the night on 50/50 tickets and with car trivia. A lot of money was raised by the Coast Cruizers for our charity work including the handicapped van project that we do every year and give away to a family with a special needs child. Thanks to all the cruisers that came out and supported a great cause. Our Cruize-ins are very well attended, we estimated over 150 cruisers attended and many more spectators. Our next Cruize-in is Saturday night May 2 from 69pm at Edgewater Mall Biloxi. If you’re not going to Burning Up The Beaches Car Show in Ft. Walton Beach, FL that weekend, join our group at Edgewater Mall. We’re there the first Saturday night of the month, each month through September. October we move to the 2nd Saturday night and we’ll close out our Cruize-in season and close out Cruisin The Coast. That final Cruise-in for 2015 will be October 10th. Speaking of Burning Up The Beaches…just got off the phone with Donna at the show. They are expecting a huge show this year April 30-May2, based on the phone calls and the pre-entries. The pre-entries have already exceeded last year’s attendance. This is a very good car show. Many cruisers have told me it was their favorite of 2014. The show is awesome, the folks that put on the show are awesome and the cause they all work for is awesome. The show is put on by Horizons, Horizons does an incredible job with people with disabilities. Their mission statement says it all…“To create a path from disability to capability by providing exceptional services so people of all ages can work, play, learn, achieve personal goals and live meaningful lives.” The location for the car show is awesome also, located at The Boardwalk. The Boardwalk is located on beach in Ft Walton Beach and is a one stop destination for fun day and night, with dinning, nice shops, entertainment and the beautiful white sand beach, with emerald colored water and waves. The parking lot area out front will hold 500 show cars. Donna is already looking at future sites as the shows grows over 500 cars. The problem is…The Boardwalk is such a great site in every way, it’ll be hard to match. The Hot Rod Show will be there doing the music on Saturday, if you get a chance to go, be sure and drop by The Hot Rod Trailer and say hello. I have recovered from the play I did at Center Stage in Biloxi. The director asked me if I was ready to do another and I said maybe next year. After the exhaustion of doing the show wore off, being sick didn’t help any…I was left with the memory of how much fun

MAY 2015

doing a play was and how greatly challenged I was doing it. (Scotty thinks I’m greatly challenged anyway) Well I really enjoyed the experience and learned so very much. The summer play is a musical “Fiddler On The Roof,” I did see a part of a heavy in the play that was also a non-singing part, so I told the director, Chuck White I was interested. Next thing you know he has me auditioning for a singing part at Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College with the director of music there. About the only singing I have done is sing in church or the shower or singing alone in the car with the radio. The non-singing part was about 300 words, more than I ever had, plus it was the part of the villain in the play, but the director has talked me into being part of the ensemble, which involves me even more. A musical is going to be unchartered waters for me and I’m scared to death…but I do love a challenge and I keep finding ways to challenge myself even more. I maybe be way over my head on this one, but the experience I’m sure will be life altering, lol. I’m too old to try skydiving or mountain climbing so this type thing will have to do. Get that Hot Rod out and enjoy that 17 FOREVER Hot Rod state of mind and a little bit of culture won’t hurt you I promise…hope to see you in Ft Walton Beach, FL! Enjoy these photos are from last years Burning up the Beaches 2014 Til next month… Terry terry@supertalk.fm Facebook: Terry Mason’s Hot Rod Show Hear a demo of the Hot Rod Show on Facebook by searching for Terry Mason’s Hot Rod Show” and “like us” while you’re there or search for “Terry Mason’s Hot Rod Show” on YouTube.com or contact Terry @ 228.669.8122

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MAY 2015

It’s been 5 years of writing this article for MotorSports magazine. My youngest son (56 years of age) Brad, called and is putting together a history of the Dunham family for his 7 children. I’m sending him the ancestry data, but I’m going to tell you faithful readers that the following is his racing history (not results) with me, (his only car owner & sponsor). THIS IS CALIF. His mother divorced me when he was 6 years old, and then moved to Buffalo, MO. with the new husband. She sent him back to me when he was 14 (maybe 15). So: I had this `57 Pontiac Star Chief, 347 cu. in. and it would fly! As some of you know, I drove for Pontiac (Ray NIchels) in 1957 for USAC. See photo of this car, this is Brads first drag race, at a professional track. Irwindale, Calif. There was a ¼ dirt oval, and a ¼ mile drag race track. (later they paved the oval) In the photo you will see Brad winning his first event, that’s a 1960 Pontiac in the foreground and he is the 57 in the background crossing the finish line and winning.

It was time for him to return to MO. to go to school so I drove to Portland, Oregon and picked up a 1960 Chevrolet El Camino that had a Pontiac 390 cu. in. engine for him to drive back. (my oldest son was 3 yrs older than Brad) He flew out to drive with him back to MO. Next year he came out and I found the “Digger’ as he called it. That’s him with the 1970 (split front bumper Camaro) chopped top, 327 hi rise manifold, the top chopped 4 inches.

We turned the Santa Ana Drag strip in under eleven seconds! I was gearing it to turn 7800 to 8000. Didn’t have nitros oxide in those days, and didn’t dare use “Nitro” from Francisco Labs with a 16-17 year old! He called me one nite after going to a “strip” in Salom Spring, Ark. “Dad” he says” on the starting line it’s a “real wash board bumpy, and they leave me at the start”. Now the Camero had a 4 speed a speed “crash box” for a tranny. I told him start in 2nd gear instead of 1 at gear. It worked and he “blow their doors off” as we used to say 60 years ago.

MAY 2015

Now as he goes back to school I told is sister Lynn, “get him graduated” or else! She did, and the high school grad came out to live in Calif. with us. This brings us to photo of Kurtis Kraft Midget #47 as shown in photo. The engine was a Chev. 2, 4 cylinder, with a V-8 head. The block was milled, a plate machined with V-8 head mounting holes and you can see the carbs in the photo, on the V8 head.

We were very unsuccessful with this engine, the 180` degree crank wouldn’t handle 7000 to 8000 RPM. (I never ran a racing engine under 7000 including my V-8-60. (but that’s another story) We now (Pineapple & I), buy a home in Lakeside, Calif., and still have our office in Santa Monica, CA. We also have our apt. in the “stone towers” where C.J. lives and our office at 1401 Ocean Blvd. in Santa Monica. (7th floor, overlooking the ocean) There was a dirt track ¼ mile, ½ on the outside at Chula Vista, CA. Also there was a ½ mile dirt at Corona, CA. In those days (1970”s) it was “run what you brung”. So, with the 327 that was in the “digger” I put together the #17 modified stock car in 1979. (see photo) I put together the aero dynamics with the help of Rod Schapel (of Bonnervile Salt Flats) and Doug Nash of same streamliner work.

We went to Corona, broke the stock car track record and took a second in the main. (that’s another story) We went to Chula Vista, broke the track record, won the main smiling. From then on the national racing publications ran the ads for these 2 tracks starting “No Billboards”. This was before “wings”. I hate wings, but a 327 against 454’s & 460’s ? After the modifies you will see in the “Ad” Brad Dunham for Stanford Electronics. This was my last “shot” at being “Dad” to the “National Champion”. It’s not important to you, but if you’re curious, in 1978 I decided to build a “killer” midget to make Brad National Champ. The chassis was $22,000 the engine was $8,000. For you engine lovers, this was a 4 cylinder (Sesco) which is a V-8 Chevy cut in half length-

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Chocolate Is Salad !!! Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller! Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet! I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off! Old age is coming at a really bad time! When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment ... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation! The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it." Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap! I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights". I'm just very wise. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work. Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees. The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes". I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week. When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"? I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure my wife took it! Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound! Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway? Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice. Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud? wise, with aluminum case on the bottom and a V-8, aluminum head on top. If you look closely, the drive line and gear box, and rear end, are outside the frame! This the #55 car. The engine was laid on its side. We were unsuccessful until I went to Dave Schneider of the “Schneider Camshaft” fame, and he gave me info that finally worked on the engine. It was the 1st lay-down midget engine. We went to “Turkey Nite” at Ascot. It had been raining all week. The mud was 6” deep in the track. 85 cars showed up. Brad went to the pit steward, drew # for qualifying, and drew #1. Out of 85 numbers! I didn’t worry about it, because when the track is deep mud you take 1 and come back in and take the next 1 after everyone has taken 1 or 2. So, it’s fine – Well they changed the rules (or the way everyone was used to) and you “took 2 and parked”. So, to make this short they had 4 races, “last chance” (15 slowest cars) Consolation 15 laps, Semi Main 20 cars, and Main event 25+2 from the Semi (1st & 2nd). Brad started in back row, won the last chance race, moved to the consolation race, (17 cars) won it moved to the Semi started last, ran 3rd (needed to be 2nd to be in the main) He came with tears in his eyes and said “Dad all I needed was one more lap!” My good buddy “Joe Finley” of St. Louis, MO. who’s son also my pal was killed in the midgets years ago. He was St. Louis Racing Assoc. (Missouri) Champion for 2 years (It could have been Brad).

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for. Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree ... that makes it a plant which means ... chocolate is Salad !!!

Three Old Golfers Three golfers are walking down the fairway. "Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old, "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens." "Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old. "When you're 70, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens." "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, I pee every morning at 6.00 am. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all." "Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?" asked the 70-year-0ld. "No, I have one every morning at 6.30 am." Puzzled with this the 60-year-old said, "Let's get this straight. You pee every morning at 6.00 am and poop every morning at 6.30 am. So What's so tough about being 80?" "I don't wake up and get out of the bed until after seven." Sent in by GptTeeByrd@

MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK KEEP IT BETWEEN THE FENCES Larry Dunham – 228-671-6216 Email: usaclarry@gamail.com

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May May 1 Pass Christian, MS the 1st Friday cruise-in at the Pass Pavilion. Corner of 2nd. Street and Davis Ave. ( from Hwy 90 turn at Hancock Bank go one block North) 4pm - 8pm May 2 Biloxi, MS 1st Saturday night Cruise-in. Cedar Lake shopping Plaza, Oldies music, 50/50. Corner of Cedar Lake Rd and Popps Ferry Rd. Biloxi. May to September. Hosted by MS Beach Cruisers Car Club. Information 228 392-6134 May 2 Biloxi, MS Coast Cruizers 1st Saturday Night Cruize-In at Edgewater Mall Hwy 90 in Biloxi, 6-9pm. 50/50, great door prizes and Terry Mason's Hot Rod Show. All are welcome! Hosted by Coast Cruizers, Gulf Coast Motorsports Magazine, the merchants of Edgewater Mall and Auto Zone. Information Jimbo 228 596-0664 May 2, D'Iberville, MS Gear Head Cruizers Benefit Car Show at the St. Martin Community Center, located at 15008 Lemoyne Blvd. D'Iberville, MS, from 11am – 4pm. We are going to have a silent auction and raffle. We have set up a benefit car show with the Gear Head Cruizers, and would like for to invite all Car Clubs to participate. We will have music, food and 50/50 drawing, along with the silent auction and raffles to also help out this young mother of 2 with help for her medical bills. We will have awards for the Top 15 cars, Top 10 Trucks, Best Rat Rod, Best Engine, Best Interior, Best Paint, and Best of Show. We are selling tickets for a one week stay at Wyndham Bonnet Creek Resort in Orlando, FL. It is located on the Disney property. It is six nights and seven days in a 2 bedroom condo that sleeps up to eight people. A value of $2,450.00, tickets are 1 for $5.00 or 3 for $10.00. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me: Malinda Beaugez - 228-297-6516 mbeaugez@jcua-ms.us May 2 Gulfport, MS 5th Annual OPEN CAR & TRUCK SHOW 9:00 am – 2:00 pm, WHHS Hurricane Band presents the 5th Annual OPEN CAR & TRUCK SHOW and Spring Fest. Cars, Trucks, Motorcycles, Rat Rods, Street Rods, Hot Rods, Antique & Classic Cars. $20 registration fee (pay on-site; cash or check). Swap Meet Vendor & Non-food Vendor spots available for $20; set up begins at 7am. Vehicle registration from 9am-11am, participant judging 11-1, awards at 1:30pm. Awards for Top 3 vehicles in each category. 50/50 raffle, goodie bags, music, food from Dickey’s Barbeque Pit and community yard sale. This is a family event. All proceeds go to support the West Harrison High School Marching Band. West Harrison High School, 10399 County Farm Rd, Gulfport, MS 39503. Exit 28 on I-10, go north 1 mile. For info: Becky 228-234-5632; whhbandtreasurer@gmail.com, May 2 Mobile, AL 1st Saturday Cruise-in at Tillmans Corner (KFC at Tillmans Square) Hwy 90, Mobile AL. 50/50, DJ Music, 5:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Mobile's Showcase for Antique, Classic & Custom Cars. Po-Boy's Cruise-in at KFC events are for all of us who love Antique Cars, Classic Cars, Custom Cars, Hot Rods, Street Rods and Rat Rods. Proceeds to benefit local charities. ( and while you are there enjoy the KFC Buffet ) For more info call Jo-Jo Johnson 251 367-6643 May 2 Pass Christian, MS 1st Saturday FREE Swap Meet at the old car wash 227 West North Street, Pass Christian, MS 7am till Noon. Free Set Up Info call 228 332-7777

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Event Information Events and Cruise Stops: Thursday April 30, 2015: Early birds Party at FUDPUCKERS on the Island! 5:30pm – 7:30pm Address: 1318 Miracle Strip Pkwy SE - Fort Walton Beach Fl.

Friday May 1, 2015: Boardwalk – Registration Opens - 9:00am – 5:00pm Pick up your preregistered package, or beat the rush and register here! Music, snacks right on our beautiful Choctawhatchee Bay. Address: 1450 Miracle Strip Pkwy Fort Walton Beach, FL Get registered, or pick up your pre registered package and get out to the stops! Jamming to the music of Terry Masons Hot Rod Show!

Friday Night, May 1st: Return to the Boardwalk at 5:30 for our Friday night party at The Crab Trap! Its a roarin ’20's theme (costume optional) and will include hor’devours, drink specials, the wonders of Pittman Magic followed by Flash Flood, one of the best bands on the Emerald Coast! Howl at the Moon has left our area, but not the Friday night fun! Hosted by the Playground Corvette Club, with snacks provided by Boardwalk restaurants. 6pm until…??

Saturday May 2, 2015: Registration will be open 9am to 5 pm, and its not to late to join in the fun! Vendors and those that are “show only” will be set up.

Terry Masons Hot Rod Show will be spinning again today! Valve cover Race registration must be done today!

THE CAR SHOW! 1:00pm – 5:30pm Be back at the Boardwalk by 1pm and take your spot for the SHOW! Thousands of locals are eagerly anticipating your arrival! Valve Cover Racing, Vendors, the Boardwalks GREAT restaurants and shops, Mega 50/50. Burning Up The Beaches is known as “THE FUN ONE” In keeping with this spirit, all 5 Burning Up The Beaches awards are totally subjective. Our awards include: 1. PUBLIC CHOICE 2. SPONSORS CHOICE 3. BOARDWALKS BEST 4. HORIZONS CLIENTS CHOICE 5. THE WILD BILL AWARD, IN MEMORY OF BURNING UP THE BEACHES SUPPORTER WILD BILL TUTTLE, AWARDED BY HIS FAMILY TO THE MOST FUN CAR AND CREW.

5:30pm to 9:00pm THE BEACH BASH at THE SWAMP! Move on into the Boardwalks own, THE SWAMP! Bring your stamped stop ticket and any other raffle tickets you picked up, cause we are giving away CASH AND PRIZES TONIGHT! Great live music provided and a buffet dinner compliments of The Crab Trap, a Saltwater Group restaurant.

Sunday May 3, 2015 8:30am – 10:30am We always hate to say goodbye! Stop by the registration area on your way out for coffee and donuts! You can go ahead and register for next year, as YOUR GOING TO WANT TO!

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Cruise Stops The fun goes on at the Burning Up The Beaches Cruise Stops! Spend Friday 9 TO 5 and Saturday morning, 9 TO NOON cruising to 5 local hot spots, with music, games, food and drink specials! Make sure and get your ticket at each stop, the more you go to, the more chances you have to win a weekend back here at the BEACH!

Friday, May 1st Stop #1 The Fort Walton Beach Landing 8:30am – 10:00am The Fort Walton Beach Landing is home to community-coffeeour Billy Bowlegs Pirate Festival each June, and another locals fave. Sitting along the Sound, come by and stretch your legs and have a cup of coffee, compliments of Community Coffee! Stop #2 Destin Commons 9:30 am to 12:30 pm Our premiere outdoor mall is waiting for you to cover up their Main St! Home to Bass Pros Shops, Uncle Bucks Fish Bowl, Williams and Sonoma, World of Beer and many other fantastic shops. This one is a favorite! Stop #3 AJ’s Seafood & Oyster Bar 12:30 pm – 5:00 pm Join us on the beautiful Destin Harbor at the locals favorite place to hang! Great live music, cold drinks, great food and the best view in town! Make sure and take a stroll on the docks to see the local fishing fleets daily catch, or take a boat ride, either a dolphin cruise, or maybe a pirate ship? This will be a perfect after noon! Return to the Boardwalk at 5:30 for our Friday night party at The Crab Trap! Its a roarin ’20's theme (costume optional) and will include hor’devours, drink specials, the wonders of Pittman Magic followed by Flash Flood, one of the best bands on the Emerald Coast!

Saturday, May 2nd Stop #4 The Armament Museum 9:00am – 12:00pm The Armament Museum is a permanent Burning Up The Beaches stop. Our rich air force history is on display for your pleasure. While here, take a picture of your classic car right next to a classic plane, and meet some of our wonderful Horizons clients! Stop #5 Premier Paint and Body Works, Fort Walton Beach 9:00am – 12:30pm Stop by Premier Paint and Body, and receive a complimentary buff down! Premier Paint and Body is truly the PREMIER place to take your hot rod on the Emerald Coast. This locally owned, 3rd generation family run body shop is famous for their restoration body work, courteous staff and 1st class service. Located at 37 Beal Parkway NE in Fort Walton Beach. ALL VEHICLES NEED TO RETURN TO THE BOARDWALK BY 1 PM FOR CAR SHOW!

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May 2 Slidell, LA Open Cruise Night 1st Saturday of each month at North Shore Square Mall. 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Music, 50/50. North Shore Rd. & I-10, Slidell, LA. Info: John at 985-845-0527 Coastal Cruisers of Slidell March-November. May 8 Bay St. Louis, MS Cruise-In with the Crescents! Our Lady Academy presents, "Cruise-In with the Crescents!" Friday, May 8 from 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm in Bay St Louis, MS! Call to reserve your spot at the Crescent Cinema Drive-In and tickets today! $60 person/ $100 couple. Two tickets includes car fee, food and entertainment. Dine at Sweet Lew's Diner and back by popular demand, The Right Lane Bandits will be keeping the party going all night! Be there or be square! Cash bar. Theme dress encouraged. 228-467-7048 May 8 Lucedale, MS 2nd Friday Breakfast Cruise-in at Hardees in Lucedale, corner of old Hwy 63 and Cowart Street from 8:30am till. For more info call Mike Lachaussee 228-369-1431 May 8 Slidell, LA 2nd Friday Night Cruise-in at Fremaux Town Center, I-10 and Fremaux Ave exit..New Mall in, Slidell, Louisiana, 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Fun, family friends & fellowship.Open to all cars! Lot's of restaurants to choose from. Cruise-in participants qualify for 10% discounts at all eateries. Door prizes, music, 50/50, games, Restaurant coupon giveaways each month. Hosted by: the I.R.O.N.S, Car Club - Independent Rodders of North Slidell. Information call 985-643-4224 ( if it rains we won't be there! ) March - Nov. May 9 Bay St. Louis, MS. 2nd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm 9pm. at Market Town Plaza Hwy 90 Bay St. Louis, Hosted by the Misfits Street Krewzers. 50â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music, 50/50 & prizes. Walking distance to restaurants Neal's Diner, Brooklyn Pizza, King Wah, and Subway Info: call Bobby 228 493 2033 May 9 Biloxi, MS 2nd Saturday Super Cruise-In at Edgewater Mall west parking lot. 6-9 p.m. April thru September. Music, fun and friends. Spend a warm evening with cool cars and friendly people. Hosted by Mississippi Coast Mustang Club & Antique Auto and Engine Club of Mississippi. (Continued on page 26)

SLIDELL OPEN CRUISE NIGHT 1st SATURDAY NIGHT of the month. 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Music, 50/50

North Shore Square Mall,

North Shore Rd. and I-10, Slidell, LA. Coastal Cruisers of Slidell 1st Saturday of each month March-November. 24

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May 9 Biloxi, MS Annual Honoring our Veterans Car Show at the Biloxi VA Hospital. 400 Veterans Ave, Biloxi, MS. Open show for Cars, Trucks & Motorcycles. Awards, Games, 50/50 and Oldies music. Rain out date 6 June 2015. For more information call 228 392-6134 May 9 Pascagoula, MS The 6th Annual Live Oak Arts Festival & Cruise-in on Saturday, May 9 in downtown Pascagoula on Pascagoula Avenue. Arrive by 9 a.m. to receive a souvenir dash plaque while supply lasts. For more details, find Live Oak Arts Festival on Facebook. May 9 Wiggins, MS 2nd Saturday Cruise-in at Wendy's 1051 East Frontage Rd., Wiggins, MS. 39577 (Hwy-49) 6pm - 9pm. 50/50 Drawing & Door Prizes. Street Rods, Hot Rods, Classic Cars, Antiques, Customs, Motorcycles. Everyone Welcome. Hosted and Music provided by Red Creek Classic car club. info call Charlie Farmer 601-528-1172 May 15 Long Beach MS 3rd Friday Night Cruisin' on Jeff Davis Ave. Havin' a 'Large Time' bringing back the past as we cruise Jeff Davis Ave. in Long Beach, MS. Lot's of restaurants to choose from. 5pm-til ( Year-around ) May 16 D’Iberville, MS Gearheads 3rd Saturday Cruise-in 7pm. at Cypress Lanes Bowling Arcade Bar & Grill, Lakeview Village, D'Iberville, 3200 Mallett Road, D'Iberville, MS 39540 (every 3rd Saturday of the month) Info: call Shawn Cook 228 424-6378 May 16 French Settlement, LA. Car & Bike Show & "Poker Run" at the Moon Light Inn, 16757 Hwy 42, French Settlement, LA. 70733. (225) 698-6759. Saturday May 16th. Registration 9:00 am12:00 pm. Awards & Auction at 4:00 pm. OLDER THAN 1979 will be judged separately from Newer Models (cars & trucks). (Bikes & 4 wheel vehicles judged separately) Registration fee $20 (includes 1 Jambalaya plate) Top 10 cars & trucks, 1st, 2nd, 3rd place for bikes. Poker Run pay-outs Top 3 & Worst Hand. Proceeds to benefit "Dreams Come True of Louisiana" Live Music, Auction. For information Shelby Bergeron 225-287-8446 or Laura Bradley 225614-6414

We serve Oysters on the half shell all week long. Tuesday, Wednesdays & Thursdays Oyster Happy Hour 4pm to 9pm $8 a dozen raw $10 Charbroiled

May 16 Gulfport, MS 3rd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm-9pm at Arcadian Plaza 2 miles north of I-10 (exit 34) on Hwy 49. Next to the Golden Corral. 50/50, door prizes, valve cover outlaw racing (providing we get enough kids to show up.) easy walk to several restaurants…. Taco Sombrero, Sweet Peppers Deli, Fatsumo Sushi, and Golden Corral…. Hosted by the Orange Grove Kruisers May 16 Ocean Springs, MS Classic Car and Truck Show at the Ocean Springs Civic Center, 3730 Bienville Blvd., Ocean Springs, MS. Sponsored by Ocean Springs Health and Rehabilitation Center All proceeds will be donated to THE RONALD McDONALD HOUSE OF NEW ORLEANS! $20 Registration fee. Registration from 8am till 12pm with Awards at 2pm. Top 15 Cars - pre 1980 Top 10 Trucks - pre 1980 5 Specialty Awards - open class 50/50, Door Prizes, Silent Auction, BBQ Cook off too! BBQ Plates $7.00 plus drink Contact Randy Davidson at 228-669-9096 for further details.

da Swamp Shack Open Tues - Sat 11am-9pm

May 16 Pass Christian, MS 3rd Saturday night cruise-in. 4pm8pm at the West end of the New Pass Christian Harbor. (behind MotherCluckers and Keith's Super Store)

Sun 11am-3pm 228-255-2028 Local Art · Kids · Jewelry

MAY 2015

May 16 Pascagoula, MS Magnolia Classic Cruisers 10th Annual Show by the Shore Car Show. will be held at Beach Park, (rain or shine) Registration 8am-10am. Judging starts at 10am. Awards at 3:30pm. Silent Auction, Bingo Games, Wipe out board, Door Prizes, 50/50, Food & Drinks. Early registration $20 must be received by 5/10/15. (Day of show $25) Information call Betty Carter 228 2189831 or Bob Hand 228 218-7218

May 16 Slidell, LA 2nd Annual Louisiana Veterans Festival, it’s your opportunity to show off your prized vehicle and help the East St. Tammany Habitat for Humanity in their efforts to provide affordable homes for deserving veterans. Festival 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. Car & Truck Exhibition 9 a.m. - 5 p.m., Awards at 5 p.m., Slidell, LA. Live entertainment, fabulous food, games, rides and a spectacular Car and Truck Exhibition. $25 Advanced Registration Fee. Your

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registration fee includes: • Reserved space for your vehicle in the Car Exhibition • Admission for two into Louisiana Veterans Festival ($16 value) • Dash plaques for first 200 vehicles registered • Certificate of Recognition for your participation • Opportunity to share a message on the “Surround a Veteran with Love” wall (to be used in the construction of the veteran’s home) • First 100 paid registrants will also receive a beautiful, limited edition Louisiana Veterans Festival bronze commemorative coin ($10 value) including info Call Barry Barone 601.749.8517 May 22-23 Biloxi, MS Back to the Point!! 37th Annual “May Show” Antique Auto / Engine & Motorcycle Show. Hosted by the Antique Automobile & Engine Club of Mississippi, Inc. Point Cadet - Biloxi, Mississippi, Located just off Hwy 90 at the Ocean Springs / Biloxi Bridge. Trophy Awards: 1st ~ 2nd ~ 3rd Place as defined by point standards. Prestige Awards: Stock Antique vehicles that define the original showroom presence (95+ point), Special Awards: ~ Best of Show Pre-War ~ Best of Show Post War ~ Best of Show Modified, Longest Distance Driven (Pre-War, PostWar & Modified), Trouble Award (by popular vote) ~ Kids Choice Award, Ugliest Car Running (vehicle must be driven through the gate under its own power). Judging will begin at noon, Saturday and will be based on points and not classes. Awards will be presented to all vehicles scoring above 70 points. Vehicles newer than 1989 will be for display only. Dash Plaques Dash Plaques are provided to all registered participants. For More Information, call prior 5/22: Peter (228) 832-7710, Mark (228) 832-0294 May 23 Pascagoula, MS. 4th Saturday Night Cruise-In, Magnolia Classic Cruisers at Ingalls Engineering Complex, 3943 Denny Ave.( Hwy 90 next to KFC), Pascagoula, Ms Large Parking lot is 100% lighted, 6:00 P.M. til 9:00 P.M. Cruiser of the Month Award, 50/50 with door prize drawings from 50/50 tickets. For additional Info:, Call: Bob Hand at 228-218-7218, Magnolia Classic Cruisers of Jackson County MS. (March through September) May 23 Waveland, MS St Clare's Church Seafood Festival Car Show. The St. Clare’s Seafood Festival presents the first annual Classic Car Show being held in conjunction with the annual festival. All proceeds benefit St. Clare’s Church. The festival provides all types of food, craft vendors, children’s rides and activites, silent auction, dash plaques and top 10 awards voted by People’s Choice. The beautiful view of the Gulf, the sandy beaches, the smell of great food, music and cool breezes provide a great day of fun and relaxation. Registration begins at 8 am. Votes in by 1 and awards at 3 pm. For more information, please contact John or Mary Ann at 228-586-2194 or 228-467-4639 Register by May 10, 2015 and the entry fee is only $20. Day of Show is $25 May 30 D' Iberville, MS NEW 5th Saturday night Cruise-in. 69PM At the new Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market in D'Iberville next to Hardees. Sponsored by Wal Mart and Hardees. Hosted by MS Beach Cruisers Car club. Cruise-in May 30th and August 29th. Info 228 392 6134 JUNE June 5 Pass Christian, MS the 1st Friday cruise-in at the Pass Pavilion. Corner of 2nd. Street and Davis Ave. ( from Hwy 90 turn at Hancock Bank go one block North) 4pm - 8pm June 6 Biloxi, MS Coast Cruizers 1st Saturday Night Cruize-In at Edgewater Mall Hwy 90 in Biloxi, 6-9pm. 50/50, great door prizes and Terry Mason's Hot Rod Show. All are welcome! Hosted by Coast Cruizers, Gulf Coast Motorsports Magazine, the merchants of Edgewater Mall and Auto Zone. Information Jimbo 228 596-0664 June 6 Mobile, AL Po-Boy's 1st Saturday Cruise-in at Tillmans Corner (KFC at Tillmans Square) Hwy 90, Mobile AL. 50/50, DJ Music, 5:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Mobile's Showcase for Antique, Classic & Custom Cars. Po-Boy's Cruise-in at KFC events are for all of us who love Antique Cars, Classic Cars, Custom Cars, Hot Rods, Street Rods and Rat Rods. Proceeds to benefit local charities. For

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more info call Jo-Jo Johnson 251 367-6643

May 2015

June 6 Pass Christian, MS 1st Saturday FREE Swap Meet at the old car wash 227 West North Street, Pass Christian, MS 7am till Noon. Free Set Up Info call 228 332-7777 June 6 Slidell, LA Open Cruise Night 1st Saturday of each month at North Shore Square Mall. 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Music, 50/50. North Shore Rd. & I-10, Slidell, LA. Info: John at 985-8450527 Coastal Cruisers of Slidell March-November. June 6 Biloxi, MS. 35th Annual Southern Hospitality Open Car Show. Saturday, June 6, Edgewater Mall, Hwy 90, Biloxi. Registration and parking 8 -11 a.m. Judging at noon. Awards 3 p.m. Registration is $30. Open class judged on 100 point system. Mustangs/Fords judged in MCA classes. . Reg. questions, call Bonnie @ 228-255-3761. Judging info, call Mike @ 228-872-5622. Vendor space available. Hosted by the MS Coast Mustang Club. June 12 Lucedale, MS 2nd Friday Breakfast Cruise-in at Hardees in Lucedale, corner of old Hwy 63 and Cowart Street from 8:30am till. For more info call Mike Lachaussee 228-369-1431 June 12 Slidell, LA 2nd Friday Night Cruise-in at Fremaux Town Center, I-10 and Fremaux Ave exit..New Mall in, Slidell, Louisiana, 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Fun, family friends & fellowship.Open to all cars! Lot's of restaurants to choose from. Cruise-in participants qualify for 10% discounts at all eateries. Door prizes, music, 50/50, games, Restaurant coupon giveaways each month. Hosted by: the I.R.O.N.S, Car Club - Independent Rodders of North Slidell. Info call 985-643-4224 ( if it rains we won't be there! ) June 13 Bay St. Louis, MS. 2nd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm 9pm. at Market Town Plaza Hwy 90 Bay St. Louis, Hosted by the Misfits Street Krewzers. 50â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music, 50/50 & prizes. Walking distance to restaurants Neal's Diner, Brooklyn Pizza, King Wah,

May 2-3 Saturday & Sunday FREE SWAPMEET WEEKEND Set up FREE Automotive & Car Parts only May 6 Wednesday night King of the Hill Gates open 6pm - Time trials 6pm. Admission car/driver $25 /spectator $8 /children 10 years & under $5 May 8 Friday Test & Tune Friday 6pm -10pm $25 car & driver $10 spectator $5 children 10 years & under May 9 Saturday Summit SuperSeries 1/8 Mile Double Hitter (2 races in one day) Race 1 8am juniors-footbrake-electronics Race 2 5pm footbrakeelectronics $40 per car & driver per race $10 spectator $5 children 10 years & under May 13 Wednesday night King of the Hill Gates open 6pm Time trials 6pm. Admission car/ driver $25 /spectator $8 /children 10 years & under $5 May 20 CLOSED on this Wednesday May 22 Friday BLOWOUT WEEKEND! May 23 Saturday Memorial Day Blowout May 24 Sunday Memorial Day Blowout any motorcycles! www.gulfportmemorialdayblowout.com facebook memorialdayblowout May 27 Wednesday night King of the Hill Gates open 6pm - Time trials 6pm. Admission car/driver $25 /spectator $8 /children 10 years & under $5

1 Mile South of I-10 (MS Exit 31) on Canal Road.

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Why Teachers Drink.. True answers by students! Q. How is dew formed. A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on. A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections? A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. Q. What are steroids? A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q. What happens to your body as you age. A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A.. Premature death. Q. What is artificial insemination? A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. Q. How can you delay milk turning sour? A.. Keep it in the cow. Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)? A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U Q. What is the fibula? A.. A small lie. Q. What does 'varicose' mean? A.. Nearby. Q. What is the most common form of birth control? A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'. A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q. What is a seizure? A.. A Roman Emperor.? Q. What is a terminal illness? A. When you are sick at the airport. Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

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and Subway Info: call Bobby 228 493 2033 June 13 2nd Saturday Super Cruise-In at Edgewater Mall west parking lot. 6-9 p.m. April thru September. Music, fun and friends. Spend a warm evening with cool cars and friendly people. Hosted by Mississippi Coast Mustang Club & Antique Auto and Engine Club of Mississippi. June 13 Mandeville, LA - Northshore Mustang Club's Open Car Show at Mandeville, LA 8am-3pm. Registration $25, free food/ drink, 50/50 drawing, prizes, music, top 50 and other awards. Call Phylis 504-382-9176 www.northshoremustangclub.com June 13 Wiggins, MS 2nd Saturday Cruise-in at Wendy's 1051 East Frontage Rd., Wiggins, MS. 39577 (Hwy-49) 6pm - 9pm. 50/50 Drawing & Door Prizes. Street Rods, Hot Rods, Classic Cars, Antiques, Customs, Motorcycles. Everyone Welcome. Hosted and Music provided by Red Creek Classic car club. info call Charlie Farmer 601-528-1172 June 19-21 Biloxi, MS Scrapin the Coast is the Wildest Car, Truck and Bike Show on the coast and is the south's largest and premier car, truck and bike show. Started in 2002, it has grown by leaps and bounds every year. Scrapin the Coast is one show you do not want to miss out on. Scrapin The Coast 2015 is located in the beautiful city of Biloxi right on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi. The show is held at The MS Coast Coliseum and Convention Center. Featuring an enormous outdoor show along with an indoor section within the coliseum. 2350 Beach Boulevard Biloxi, MS 39531 June 19 Long Beach MS 3rd Friday Night Cruisin' on Jeff Davis Ave. Havin' a 'Large Time' bringing back the past as we cruise Jeff Davis Ave. in Long Beach, MS. Lot's of restaurants to choose from. 5pm-til ( Year-around ) June 20 Covington, LA First Annual Street Rod & Classic Car Rally Lakeview Regional Medical Center will be hosting there first annual street rod and classic car rally open car show June 20th 2015. All proceeds will benefit the St. Tammany Alzheimer's association. It will be held at Lakeview Regional Medical Center 95 Judge Tanner blvd. Covington La. Registration will be $25.00 the day of the show. Registration is from 8:30-11:30 am judging is from 11:30-1:30 and awards at 3:00. Awards for top 25 cars , top 25 trucks, the Lakeview Regional Medical Center award, best of show award and sponsor awards. 50/50 drawing, door prizes and music. Info Ricky 985-237-9134 June 20 D’Iberville, MS Gearheads 3rd Saturday Cruise-in 7pm. at Cypress Lanes Bowling Arcade Bar & Grill, Lakeview Village, D'Iberville, 3200 Mallett Road, D'Iberville, MS 39540 (every 3rd Saturday of the month) Info: call Shawn Cook 228 424-6378 June 20 Gulfport, MS 3rd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm-9pm at Arcadian Plaza 2 miles north of I-10 (exit 34) on Hwy 49. Next to the Golden Corral. 50/50, door prizes, valve cover outlaw racing (providing we get enough kids to show up.) easy walk to several restaurants…. Taco Sombrero, Sweet Peppers Deli, Fatsumo Sushi, and Golden Corral…. Hosted by the Orange Grove Kruisers June 26-28 Gulfport, MS Happy-Daze Music Festival & Rally It’s a Party at the Gulfport Dragstrip. 3 days of camping, cook-outs, 60’s, 70’s & 80’s music., Custom Vans, Art Cars, Vintage Trucks with Campers. Live local ol’ School Rock Bands, Alternative & Christian Rock Bands. Arts & Craft vendors, swap-meet-vendors welcome. Bring Your Tents!!! (Food Vendors must be approved by the track. Call 228 863-4408) (this is not a car show and there will be no racing during the weekend)

Music Festival info 228 596-0664 June 27 Jackson MS 5th annual Veterans Appreciation Fun Run. . Power Cruise from Jackson to Collins MS. A salute to our nursing home veterans. Let them enjoy the day admiring our vehicles. Open to all cars, trucks, motorcycles. 9am to 11am MS (Continued on page 34)

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State Veterans Home in Jackson MS. 4607 Lindberg Drive, Jackson, MS. 11am - 2pm cruise to lunch (Berry’s Seafood, 2942 US Hwy 49 North, Florence, MS. 39073) and then to MS State Veterans Home Collins, MS 2pm - 4pm FREE registration. Info Ollie Patterson 601 829-2589 or Casey Yates 601 829-0689 June 27 Pascagoula, MS. 4th Saturday Night Cruise-In, Magnolia Classic Cruisers at Ingalls Engineering Complex, 3943 Denny Ave.( Hwy 90 next to KFC), Pascagoula, Ms Large Parking lot is 100% lighted, 6:00 P.M. til 9:00 P.M. Cruiser of the Month Award, 50/50 with door prize drawings from 50/50 tickets. For additional Info:, Call: Bob Hand at 228-218-7218, Magnolia Classic Cruisers of Jackson County MS. (March through September) JULY 2015 July 3 Pass Christian, MS the 1st Friday cruise-in at the Pass Pavilion. Corner of 2nd. Street and Davis Ave. ( from Hwy 90 turn at Hancock Bank go one block North) 4pm - 8pm July 4 Biloxi, MS Coast Cruizers 1st Saturday Night Cruize-In at Edgewater Mall Hwy 90 in Biloxi, 6-9pm. 50/50, great door prizes and Terry Mason's Hot Rod Show. All are welcome! Hosted by Coast Cruizers, Gulf Coast Motorsports Magazine, the merchants of Edgewater Mall and Auto Zone. Information Jimbo 228 596-0664 July 4 Mobile, AL Po-Boy's 1st Saturday Cruise-in at Tillmans Corner (KFC at Tillmans Square) Hwy 90, Mobile AL. 50/50, DJ Music, 5:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Mobile's Showcase for Antique, Classic & Custom Cars. Po-Boy's Cruise-in at KFC events are for all of us who love Antique Cars, Classic Cars, Custom Cars, Hot Rods, Street Rods and Rat Rods. Proceeds to benefit local charities. For more info call Jo-Jo Johnson 251 367-6643 July 4 Slidell, LA Open Cruise Night 1st Saturday of each month at North Shore Square Mall. 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Music, 50/50. North Shore Rd. & I-10, Slidell, LA. Info: John at 985-8450527 Coastal Cruisers of Slidell March-November. July 10 Lucedale, MS 2nd Friday Breakfast Cruise-in at Hardees in Lucedale, corner of old Hwy 63 and Cowart Street from 8:30am till. For more info call Mike Lachaussee 228-369-1431 July 10 Slidell, LA 2nd Friday Night Cruise-in at Fremaux Town Center, I-10 and Fremaux Ave exit..New Mall in, Slidell, Louisiana, 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Fun, family friends & fellowship.Open to all cars! Lot's of restaurants to choose from. Cruise-in participants qualify for 10% discounts at all eateries. Door prizes, music, 50/50, games, Restaurant coupon giveaways each month. Hosted by: the I.R.O.N.S, Car Club. Info call 985-643-4224 July 11 Bay St. Louis, MS. 2nd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm 9pm. at Market Town Plaza Hwy 90 Bay St. Louis, Hosted by the Misfits Street Krewzers. 50’s music, 50/50 & prizes. Walking distance to restaurants Neal's Diner, Brooklyn Pizza, King Wah, and Subway Info: call Bobby 228 493 2033 July 11 2nd Saturday Super Cruise-In at Edgewater Mall west parking lot. 6-9 p.m. April thru September. Music, fun and friends. Spend a warm evening with cool cars and friendly people. Hosted by Mississippi Coast Mustang Club & Antique Auto and Engine Club of Mississippi. July 11 Wiggins, MS 2nd Saturday Cruise-in at Wendy's 1051 East Frontage Rd., Wiggins, MS. 39577 (Hwy-49) 6pm - 9pm. 50/50 Drawing & Door Prizes. Street Rods, Hot Rods, Classic Cars, Antiques, Customs, Motorcycles. Everyone Welcome. Hosted and Music provided by Red Creek Classic car club. info call Charlie Farmer 601-528-1172 July 17 Long Beach MS 3rd Friday Night Cruisin' on Jeff Davis Ave. Havin' a 'Large Time' bringing back the past as we cruise Jeff Davis Ave. in Long Beach, MS. Lot's of restaurants to choose from. 5pm-til ( Year-around )

Saturn V Text & photos: AdPix.Biz Model: Erin By now you may have seen Brett Anderson's '32 Coupe, even if you were only looking for Erin the model. Calling this thing merely a '32 Coupe is about like calling the Saturn V a bottle rocket. Brett is a custom-building handcrafter artisan from the old school. He custom-builds kitchen cabinets and monster motors (at different times). In fact, he's custom-built a lot of cool things that show off his craftsmanship, but it's hot rods like this, and particular their motors, that really lights his rocket. To hear him talk, as much as he loves this car, it's really only a carrier for the motor. Sure, a darn fine carrier, or booster stage perhaps. But that motor is his masterpiece, his passion, and we know that the motor makes the car, so that's why this one turned out so well. Compare that to Zaporozhets, for example. Their only passion was to illustrate the superiority of a Central-Planning Government, such as the Soviet's at the time. This is why you'll never see a Zaporozhet featured in a car magazine or even lasting very far on the road. But building a car around a motor like this, yeah that works!! Freedom can be cool, as well as being the most effective. And when this 396-cubic-inch 600-hp baby cranks up, your inner organs are all cheering Freedom! Brett had to buy and build about 12 prior “pedestrian” cars before he got to this one, the God-Loving-Free-Enterprise Godzilla Monster of '32 Coupes, and the fulfillment of his life-long dream. He designed, fabricated and customized everything on this car, but the synergy green tri-coat paint. The car benefits from 12 practice builds. As a payback, he's now building one for his wife. When it's done, Jimbo himself agreed to model with it. (That shoot will only appear in “Zaporozhets Monthly”) Just in case you missed it, that's a 671 BDS blower and it's doing 16 lbs of boost. When asked “how much horsepower does it do?” Brett responds in typical pro-motor-builder-fashion: about 600 hp. That means the real number is much higher. You or me, as non-professional-builders, would say 600 hp if it only put out 500 hp, because we don't want to admit that we were suckered by the salesman. But Brett knows that at only 2,000 pounds, most of which is in the tires, he can beat pretty much anything but a formula dragster, and he knows everyone else knows it too, so there's no need to puff up the chest prematurely. Somehow he gets all of that power, however much it actually is, through a Turbo 350 transmission to the Ford 9” using a Kilduff Lightning Rod shifter. And that shifter is really as cool a feature as the motor itself. There's only a few of these shifters in the known universe, according to NASA. It's unique because, not only does it make gorgeous models like Erin ask all sorts of cool questions about it, it's designed so that the driver has no doubt which gear he's in. (Yes, that's right HE). There's no shifting from 2nd gear to 4th in the red mist of the moment, like with H-pattern shifters. Further, upon lift-off, when you're getting slammed back in to the depths of that slightly-padded custom bucket seat, you're not really able to push anything forward. With this shifter, every shift is a quick snatch backward, in the direction of your competition. Brett and wife Hilary completely built the car in their garage in only a few months, despite doing it all themselves. And Brett added heat and air-conditioning and drives it to cruise-ins, pretty much anywhere that's not going to be too rainy, much more useful than your average Saturn V.

July 18 D’Iberville, MS Gearheads 3rd Saturday Cruise-in 7pm. at Cypress Lanes Bowling Arcade Bar & Grill, Lakeview Village, (Continued on page 38)

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Brett Anderson's

1932 Ford coupe Mobile Alabama 396 cubic inch Small block Chevy 671 BDS blower - 16 lbs of boost. Approx 600hp Th350 - Kilduff Lightning rod shifters 9" ford AC & Heat Paint is PPG Synergy Green Tri Coat

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D'Iberville, 3200 Mallett Road, D'Iberville, MS 39540 (every 3rd Saturday of the month) Info: call Shawn Cook 228 424-6378 July 18 Gulfport, MS 3rd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm-9pm at Arcadian Plaza 2 miles north of I-10 (exit 34) on Hwy 49. Next to the Golden Corral. 50/50, door prizes, valve cover outlaw racing (providing we get enough kids to show up.) easy walk to several restaurants…. Taco Sombrero, Sweet Peppers Deli, Fatsumo Sushi, and Golden Corral…. Hosted by the Orange Grove Kruisers July 18 Mize, MS. 37th Annual Mississippi Watermelon Festival Car & Truck Show. The Smith County Cruisers will host the 37th Annual Mississippi Watermelon Festival Car & Truck Show on July 18, 2015 on Main Street in Mize, Ms. Event time is 8:00 am3:00 pm. This is an open event, all makes & models are welcome. Awards will be presented to Best of Show car, truck & pre ’49. Top 15 Cars, Top 15 Trucks, Top 5 Pre ’49, Best Race Car, Top 5 ’90 Model & Up, Best Project. Long Distance, Club Participant, Hard Luck Award Dash plaques and goody bags will be given to the first 100 entries. There will be door prizes and a 50/50 drawing. For more information contact: Max @ 601-405-7685 (day or night), or email SmithCoCruisers@aol.com visit us on Face Book at Smith City Cruisers, July 25 Pascagoula, MS. 4th Saturday Night Cruise-In, Magnolia Classic Cruisers at Ingalls Engineering Complex, 3943 Denny Ave.( Hwy 90 next to KFC), Pascagoula, Ms Large Parking lot is 100% lighted, 6:00 P.M. til 9:00 P.M. Cruiser of the Month Award, 50/50 with door prize drawings from 50/50 tickets. For additional Info:, Call: Bob Hand at 228-218-7218, Magnolia Classic Cruisers of Jackson County MS. (March through September) July 31 - Aug 1 Wiggins, MS 5th Annual Red Creek Classic Antique Car Appreciation Picnic & Cruise-in 2015, will take place Friday July 31 and Saturday August 1 at Flint Creek Water Park, Wiggins, MS. Plans are ongoing but will include local (Continued on page 41)

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business stamped stops for cash prizes, a guided country cruise, Friday night cruise-in.. Saturday is the Car Club Appreciation Day Picnic and ALL Car Clubs and Independents are invited to attend there will be hamburgers, hot dogs & cold drinks. contributions and donations accepted). Sponsored in part by; Stone County Supervisors, City of Wiggins, Merchants of Stone County and Stone County EDP. There is a large air conditioned building (just in -case you need to get out of the heat) and plenty of shade trees. No charge to attend. Hosted by the Red Creek Classics car club. Info: Charlie 601 528.1172. or Terry 601 528.1361

AUGUST 2015 August 1 Wiggins, MS. Annual Mississippi NSRA Appreciation Day at Flint Creek Water Park, Wiggins, MS. at the Red Creek Classics 5th Annual Antique Car Appreciation Picnic & Cruise-in ALL Car Clubs and Independents are invited to attend - there will be hamburgers, hot dogs & cold drinks. contributions and donations accepted. (NSRA members don't forget your card to get your appreciation pin) Info: call â&#x20AC;&#x153;Chicken" Willy Smith at 601 6953890 August 1 Biloxi, MS Coast Cruizers 1st Saturday Night CruizeIn at Edgewater Mall Hwy 90 in Biloxi, 6-9pm. 50/50, great door prizes and Terry Mason's Hot Rod Show. All are welcome! Hosted by Coast Cruizers, Gulf Coast Motorsports Magazine, the merchants of Edgewater Mall and Auto Zone. Information Jimbo 228 596-0664 August 1 Mobile, AL Po-Boy's 1st Saturday Cruise-in at Tillmans Corner (KFC at Tillmans Square) Hwy 90, Mobile AL. 50/50, DJ Music, 5:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Mobile's Showcase for Antique, Classic & Custom Cars. Po-Boy's Cruise-in at KFC events are for all of us who love Antique Cars, Classic Cars, Custom Cars, Hot Rods, Street Rods and Rat Rods. Proceeds to benefit local charities. ( and while you are there enjoy the KFC Buffet ) For more info call Jo-Jo Johnson 251 367-6643 August 1 Slidell, LA Open Cruise Night 1st Saturday of each month at North Shore Square Mall. 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Music, 50/50. North Shore Rd. & I-10, Slidell, LA. Info: John at 985-8450527 Coastal Cruisers of Slidell March-November. August 7 Pass Christian, MS the 1st Friday cruise-in at the Pass Pavilion. Corner of 2nd. Street and Davis Ave. ( from Hwy 90 turn at Hancock Bank go one block North) 4pm - 8pm August 8 Bay St. Louis, MS. 2nd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm - 9pm. at Market Town Plaza Hwy 90 Bay St. Louis, Hosted by the Misfits Street Krewzers. 50â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music, 50/50 & prizes. Walking distance to restaurants Neal's Diner, Brooklyn Pizza, King Wah, and Subway Info: call Bobby 228 493 2033 August 8 2nd Saturday Super Cruise-In at Edgewater Mall west parking lot. 6-9 p.m. April thru September. Music, fun and friends. Spend a warm evening with cool cars and friendly people. Hosted by Mississippi Coast Mustang Club & Antique Auto and Engine Club of Mississippi. August 8 Wiggins, MS 2nd Saturday Cruise-in at Wendy's 1051 East Frontage Rd., Wiggins, MS. 39577 (Hwy-49) 6pm - 9pm. 50/50 Drawing & Door Prizes. Street Rods, Hot Rods, Classic

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Cars, Antiques, Customs, Motorcycles. Everyone Welcome. Hosted and Music provided by Red Creek Classic car club. info call Charlie Farmer 601-528-1172 August 14 Lucedale, MS 2nd Friday Breakfast Cruise-in at Hardees in Lucedale, corner of old Hwy 63 and Cowart Street from 8:30am till. For more info call Mike Lachaussee 228-369-1431 August 14 Slidell, LA 2nd Friday Night Cruise-in at Fremaux Town Center, I-10 and Fremaux Ave exit..New Mall in, Slidell, Louisiana, 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Fun, family friends & fellowship.Open to all cars! Lot's of restaurants to choose from. Cruise-in participants qualify for 10% discounts at all eateries. Door prizes, music, 50/50, games, Restaurant coupon giveaways each month. Hosted by: the I.R.O.N.S, Car Club - Independent Rodders of North Slidell. Info call 985-643-4224 if it rains we won't be there! August 15 D’Iberville, MS Gearheads 3rd Saturday Cruise-in 7pm. at Cypress Lanes Bowling Arcade Bar & Grill, Lakeview Village, D'Iberville, 3200 Mallett Road, D'Iberville, MS 39540 (every 3rd Saturday of the month) Info: call Shawn Cook 228 424-6378 August 15 Gulfport, MS 3rd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm9pm at Arcadian Plaza 2 miles north of I-10 (exit 34) on Hwy 49. Next to the Golden Corral. 50/50, door prizes, valve cover outlaw racing (providing we get enough kids to show up.) easy walk to several restaurants…. Taco Sombrero, Sweet Peppers Deli, Fatsumo Sushi, and Golden Corral…. Hosted by the Orange Grove Kruisers August 21 Long Beach MS 3rd Friday Night Cruisin' on Jeff Davis Ave. Havin' a 'Large Time' bringing back the past as we cruise Jeff Davis Ave. in Long Beach, MS. Lot's of restaurants to choose from. 5pm-til ( Year-around ) August 22 Pascagoula, MS. 4th Saturday Night Cruise-In, Magnolia Classic Cruisers at Ingalls Engineering Complex, 3943 Denny Ave.( Hwy 90 next to KFC), Pascagoula, Ms Large Parking lot is 100% lighted, 6:00 P.M. til 9:00 P.M. Cruiser of the Month Award, 50/50 with door prize drawings from 50/50 tickets. For additional Info:, Call: Bob Hand at 228-218-7218, Magnolia Classic Cruisers of Jackson County MS. (March through September) August 29 D' Iberville, MS NEW 5th Saturday night Cruise-in. 6 -9PM At the new Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market in D'Iberville next to Hardees. Sponsered by Wal Mart and Hardees. Hosted by MS Beach Cruisers Car club. Cruise-in August 29th. Info 228 392 6134 SEPTEMBER 2015 September 4 Pass Christian, MS the 1st Friday cruise-in at the Pass Pavilion. Corner of 2nd. Street and Davis Ave. ( from Hwy 90 turn at Hancock Bank go one block North) 4pm - 8pm September 9 Biloxi, MS Coast Cruizers 1st Saturday Night Cruize-In at Edgewater Mall Hwy 90 in Biloxi, 6-9pm. 50/50, great door prizes and Terry Mason's Hot Rod Show. All are welcome! Hosted by Coast Cruizers, Gulf Coast Motorsports Magazine, the merchants of Edgewater Mall and Auto Zone. Information Jimbo 228 596-0664 September 5 Mobile, AL Po-Boy's 1st Saturday Cruise-in at Tillmans Corner (KFC at Tillmans Square) Hwy 90, Mobile AL. 50/50, DJ Music, 5:00 pm - 8:30 pm. Mobile's Showcase for Antique, Classic & Custom Cars. Po-Boy's Cruise-in at KFC events are for all of us who love Antique Cars, Classic Cars, Custom Cars, Hot Rods, Street Rods and Rat Rods. Proceeds to benefit local charities. ( and while you are there enjoy the KFC Buffet ) For more info call Jo-Jo Johnson 251 367-6643 September 5 Slidell, LA Open Cruise Night 1st Saturday of each month at North Shore Square Mall. 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM. Music, 50/50. North Shore Rd. & I-10, Slidell, LA. Info: John at 985 -845-0527 Coastal Cruisers of Slidell March-November. September 11 Lucedale, MS 2nd Friday Breakfast Cruise-in at Hardees in Lucedale, corner of old Hwy 63 and Cowart Street from 8:30am till. For more info call Mike Lachaussee 228-369-1431

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September 11 Slidell, LA 2nd Friday Night Cruise-in. at Fremaux Town Center, I-10 and Fremaux Ave exit..New Mall in, Slidell, Louisiana, 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Fun, family friends & fellowship. Open to all cars! Lot's of restaurants to choose from. Cruise-in participants qualify for 10% discounts at all eateries. Door prizes, music, 50/50, games, Restaurant coupon giveaways each month. Hosted by: the I.R.O.N.S, Car Club - Independent Rodders of North Slidell. Information call 985-643-4224 September 12 Bay St. Louis, MS. 2nd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm - 9pm. at Market Town Plaza Hwy 90 Bay St. Louis, Hosted by the Misfits Street Krewzers. 50’s music, 50/50 & prizes. Walking distance to restaurants Neal's Diner, Brooklyn Pizza, King Wah, and Subway Info: call Bobby 228 493 2033 September 12 2nd Saturday Super Cruise-In at Edgewater Mall west parking lot. 6-9 p.m. April thru September. Music, fun and friends. Spend a warm evening with cool cars and friendly people. Hosted by Mississippi Coast Mustang Club & Antique Auto and Engine Club of Mississippi. September 12, Kiln MS. 2 Annual Knights of Columbus Car & Truck Show. at the Annunciation Church parking lot. Located one mile East of Hwy 603 on Kiln Delisle Rd. Plaques awarded to top 15 cars, top 5 trucks. Best engine, best interior, best paint, best of show, best rat rod. Registration begins at 8am till 12 noon. $20 to register each car or truck. Dash plaques will be given for the first 50 cars to register. Awards will be presented at 1:30 pm. Lots of door prizes, food, 5o's music, 50/50 pot. Air conditioned building for your dining comfort if you so desire. Lots of parking. Any questions please contact Jim at 228-494-7833 or Richard at 228-493-7416 or Wayne at 228-731-4402 September 12 Wiggins, MS 2nd Saturday Cruise-in at Wendy's 1051 East Frontage Rd., Wiggins, MS. 39577 (Hwy-49) 6pm - 9pm. 50/50 Drawing & Door Prizes. Street Rods, Hot Rods, Classic Cars, Antiques, Customs, Motorcycles. Everyone Welcome. Hosted and Music provided by Red Creek Classic car club. info call Charlie Farmer 601-528-1172 September 18 Long Beach MS 3rd Friday Night Cruisin' on Jeff Davis Ave. Havin' a 'Large Time' bringing back the past as we cruise Jeff Davis Ave. in Long Beach, MS. Lot's of restaurants to choose from. 5pm-til ( Year-around ) September 19 D’Iberville, MS Gearheads 3rd Saturday Cruisein 7pm. at Cypress Lanes Bowling Arcade Bar & Grill, Lakeview Village, D'Iberville, 3200 Mallett Road, D'Iberville, MS 39540 (every 3rd Saturday of the month) Info: call Shawn Cook 228 424-6378 September 19 Diamondhead, MS Stunt Force All Star Cheerleading 2nd Annual Car Show. . $20 registration per vehicle starts at 8am. Cheer-leading performance & awards starting at 2pm. Top 25 cars, Top 5 trucks, Top 3 rat rods, & specialty awards. Located in Diamondhead True Value Parking Lot. Please come out and support this great group of kids. Information call Wade Cuevas 228 234-1705 or Gail Cuevas 228 234-1041 (Rain date Sept. 26.) September 19 Gulfport, MS 3rd Saturday Night Cruise-in 6pm9pm at Arcadian Plaza 2 miles north of I-10 (exit 34) on Hwy 49. Next to the Golden Corral. 50/50, door prizes, valve cover outlaw racing (providing we get enough kids to show up.) easy walk to several restaurants…. Taco Sombrero, Sweet Peppers Deli, Fatsumo Sushi, Golden Corral Hosted by the Orange Grove Kruisers September 26 Pascagoula, MS. 4th Saturday Night Cruise-In, Magnolia Classic Cruisers at Ingalls Engineering Complex, 3943 Denny Ave.( Hwy 90 next to KFC), Pascagoula, Ms Large Parking lot is 100% lighted, 6:00 P.M. til 9:00 P.M. Cruiser of the Month Award, 50/50 with door prize drawings from 50/50 tickets. For additional Info:, Call: Bob Hand at 228-218-7218, Magnolia Classic Cruisers of Jackson County MS. (March through September)

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EVENTS 2 May Metric Sale 13 Jun Pre-Loved MC Sale 13 Jun Bike Wash 28 Jun CMA Hot Dog Frenzy 3-4 July Nation of Patriots Tour 15 Aug Tent Sale 29 Aug Dixie Thunder Run Biloxi â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Meridian 12 Sep Humane Society Kingofthebeau ride 3 Oct CMA Hot Dog Frenzy 25 Oct Holidays for Heroes Poker Run 31 Oct Chili Cook-Off 14 Nov Children of Fallen Soldiers Poker Run 29 Nov ASGARD Toy Run Afterparty 12 Dec Pre-Owned MC Sale

Monday - 9am - 5pm Tuesday - Friday - 9am - 6pm Saturday 9am - 5pm Sunday Closed

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Southern XX "Ride to the Wall South" 8890 Ashland Ave · Pensacola, Florida 32514

May 22-24 Lets Ride - Motorcycle Events MAY May 1-3 Fredericksburg, Texas Hill Country Run Motorcycle Rally Sponsored by Optimist Club of Fredericksburg The rally will take place at 412 Luckenbach Town Loop in Fredericksburg beginning at 9:00 am on Friday. The event includes rides through the Hill Country, bike games, a bike show, a Hill Country road trip, food, entertainment and more. Awards will be given to bike show and bike game winners. Admission is $50.00 per person. Admission fee includes a social kickoff party on Thursday night, breakfast on Saturday and Sunday, the rides and more. The fee includes a souvenir t-shirt if registration is received by April 17th. For more information call (830) 997-8515, May 2 - 3, 2015 Panama City Beach, Florida Bikes on the Beach Vintage Motorcycle Show The bike show will be held at Wyndham Bay Point Conference Center, Wyndham Bay Point Beach and Golf Resort, 4114 Jan Cooley Drive in Panama City. the show opens at 9:00 am on Saturday. Setup begins at 9:00 am on Friday. The fee to enter a motorcycle is $25.00. There is no fee for spectators. The vintage motorcycle show is a judged competition showcasing historic, restored and customized American, Japanese and European vintage motorcycles. Motorcycles will be judged in various classes. Top placing motorcycles in each category will be awarded trophies with a special trophy going to the best of show. For more information call (850) 624-8811 May 2, 2015 Panama City Beach, Florida Friar Tuck Memorial Dice Run Sponsored by Combat Vets Motorcycle Association, Chapter 20-9 The ride starts at VFW 10555, 17680 Ashley Drive in Panama City Beach. Registration is from 10:00 am to 11:00 am. The ride fee is $15.00 for the rider and $5.00 for a passenger. The the ride is an 80 mile dice run ending with a 50/50 drawing, and giveaways. Prizes will be awarded for the high and low score. All proceeds support local veteran activities. May 2, 2015 Jennings, LA Jennings Lions Club Annual Poker Run The ride starts at Shop Rite on Highway 26 in Jennings. Registration begins at 8:00 am. Proceeds support the Crippled Children's Camp and the La Eye Foundation For more information call (337) 616-8120 Sponsored by Jennings Lions Club May 22-25 Gulfport, MS Mississippi Gulf Coast Memorial Day Blowout Host Asgard MC This four day event offers a wide array of events such as five racing classes with over a $17,000 prize purse, nine bike show classes, a swap meet and flea market, eight other unique events to enjoy, and live music! Formally the All Harley Memorial Day Blowout! Same group...same FUN...just had to invite everyone...now open to all types of bikes! Free live music Friday, Saturday and Sunday Camping on 100+ cleared acres Designated motor home camping (no hookups) Food & beer available Recommended for Adults only. No dogs. Covered by National Motorcycle Magazines Some of this years events... OPEN TO ALL Tattoo Contest - Ring toss - Slow Race - Weenie Bite Barrel Race WINNERS TAKE ALL! FREE BIKE SHOW BIKINI & WET T-SHIRT CONTEST Burn Out & Live music Location Gulfport Dragway - Address 17085 Race Track Road Gulfport MS Phone (228) 392-8281 www.gulfportmemorialdayblowout.com Email harleyblowout@harleyblowout.com

JUNE June 15, is Ride Your Motorcycle to Work Day 2015

Come out and support the Pensacola Memorial Wall Foundation, the American Legion and the Viet Nam Vets / Legacy Vets Motorcycle club raise funds and awareness of our local veterans, veteran charities and our Veteran's Memorial Park this Memorial Day weekend. We are hosting a 3 day event with an escorted ride from the American Legion Post 340 to the Pensacola Memorial Park. So come on down and join the fun. All bikes, clubs, and women are welcome! Especially the single women;) Here is the rundown: Friday May 22nd @ Legion Post 340 • Entertainment & Karaoke from 8 – 12 • Drink Specials at the Bar Saturday May 23rd @ Post 340 • FREE Pasta Dinner 6 – food runs out • Live Band from 8 – 12 • Bonfire • Drink Specials at the Bar Sunday May 24th Legion Post 340 • Breakfast 8 – 11 • Registration Opens at 9a.m. • T-Shirts – Vendors – Tattoos’ • 50/50 – Bike Wash – Music • Drink Specials at the Bar • 11:30 staging of Bikes begins • 12:00 KSU Escorted Ride Begins • 12:45 (approximate) arrive at Veteran’s Memorial Park • 1 p.m. Memorial Day Ceremony presented by Wall South Foundation Run Fee is $10 per person. Ride Starts at American Legion Post 340, 8890 Ashland Ave., Pensacola 32514 First Come First Serve Camping @ Legion Post 340 Friday to Sunday. Limited Electrical Hook ups available. ($10 per day donation requested) Info call “Kahuna” 850.776.0660, “Throttle” 850.512.2009 “Spanky” 850.384.9243 AUGUST August 1, 2015 Slidell, Louisiana 2nd Annual Blue Knights MS II Charity Poker Run Sponsored by Mike Bruno's Harley Davidson The ride starts at Mike Bruno's Northshore HarleyDavidson, 791 W I 10 Service Road in Slidell beginning at 11:00 am. The poker run will include five stops before ending in Biloxi, Mississippi. For more information call (228) 223-5844 August 14 Gulfport, MS Deep South Crew's Rob Ride. 6:00 PM This is a no-cost ride that coincides with a candleight vigil to remember a good man and a great friend and honor his memory, as well as, to show support to his family. This is an annual ride to remember a good friend and colleague, Lt. Robert J. Curry, who was tragically killed in the line of duty on August 14th, 2008 when his police motorcycle was struck by a vehicle attempting to cross Highway 49 in Gulfport, MS. We ride in his honor to show our love and respect to the Curry family and to raise motorcycle awareness along our beautiful Gulf Coast. This ride is open to the public, however, at the discretion of the Curry family and the Saints of the Apocalypse MC, anyone acting inappropriately or disrespectfully will be removed from the ride . Address 11072 U.S. Highway 49 Gulfport, MS www. s o t a m c . c om / e v e nt s Email deepsouthcrew@sotamc.com

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Classified Ads You get 2 months in Gulf Coast MotorSports Magazine 2 months on www.GulfCoastMotorSports.com Web Site Description with 1 (one) Picture - $10 路 additional photos $5 each Non Picture Ad Only - $5

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1934 Ford, 3-window coupe, turbo 400 transmission, 350 Chevy engine, power steering and brakes, A.C. and Heat, l6,000 miles. $25,000 call 985-882-5216 7/15

1952 MG TD Roadster (Replica Manufactured in South Africa - All Ford running gear) 14,800 original miles. Runs and drives great Asking $15,000.00 - will consider offers. Call 601-916-6600 5/15

Wanted - for 1968 Ford Galaxie 500 fastback all 4 wheel well moldings; also, a good, solid trunk floor Contact Jeffery at 706 938-4789 4/15

1967 Chevy C-10. V-8 - 350 / Automatic transmission. Complete truck rebuild - including front end structure. Frame off restoration. New Vintage air - heat. Awesome AM/FM CD-Amp. New custom interior - seat, door panels, carpet. New Foose wheels, tires and alignment - all less than 2 months old. Custom flame paint cost $15,000 - flames on side rails of frame transmission - under hood - in cab with custom made dash - custom console. Truck runs and drives like new - Really HOT show truck. $22,500 contact Roger at 615 406-0527 5/15 1973 Pontiac Grand Prix. This car has had a frame off restoration. Original Cameo White with Red Burgundy interior. 400/4 barrel with less than 1600 miles on rebuild and restoration. Just Dashes restored the dash and SMS Fabrics supplied seat material for Bucket seats. Odometer before restoration 99,787. Currently reads 01366. Actual miles on car 101366. $16,500. Presley 601-940-8602 Pettitbuilders@gmail.com

MAY 2015

1978 VW Super Beetle. Air Cond, 4 speed, runs & drives excellent $8,800 OBO 5/15 call Jerry 228 326-7489 1953 F100 6cyl Engine OHV in running condition. Includes radiator, shroud, transmission and steering box Warren 601-337-1324 5/15

Original 1955 Pontiac Chieftain with 65,000 original miles. Runs and drives great. Asking $10,000.00 - Phone: 601-916-6600 will consider offers. 5/15

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Ford tailgate in good condition. $150.00 228-216-6863 or fixme@cableone.net

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1964 Olds Jestar 1 original 394 Starfire engine, runs, needs total restoration. Factory bucket seats, console shift with factory tach. Rare find, every thing there but outside Jestar 1 emblems. asking $3000, delivery available for a fee. Call 404-376-1896 for info. 5/15

Restored 1967 Nova with a built 409 has aluminum heads. $21,000 228-861-0666

Rust free 1966 Chevelle with ZZ 430. $18,000 228-861-0666

Restored 1979 Corvette ZZ4 with aluminum heads, $10,000 - 228-861-0666 Four 17 Dayton Gold 100 Spoke Wheels with Falken Ziex Tires, size 215/45ZR17. In Great Condition. Asking $2,300.00 call 601-916-6600 will consider offers. 5/15

1985 Chevrolet C10 Pickup. All original interior, 350 motor, 90K on odometer. Rust free, factory AC, AM/FM radio. All documentation.$8000. Jess 228-586-9670 or jeannembw1@yahoo.com

1986 Silverado pick-up, 383, new tires and wheels, interior. $9,500 228-861-0666

1985 Chevy pick-up with a ZZ4 engine $9,000 228-861-0666

383 SB Stroker Engines Starting at $2,400

1933 Plymouth with 383 aluminum head engine. Has all the luxury's. $22,000 Call 228-861-0666

MAY 2015

Big Block Starting at $3,500 Now is the time to turn your old 350 Chevy engine into the high performance 383 stroker you always wanted.

1967 Chevrolet Chevy II Nova Frame Off Restoration 383 Eagle Rotating Assembly Disc Brakes 路 Aluminum Heads MSD Ignition 路 Ceramic Exhaust Built 350 Automatic Transmission Aluminum Radiator 路 Air Conditioning $21,000 Call 228-861-0666

Restored 1992 Cadillac Allante Convertible only 60K original miles $7,000 228-861-0666

CALL K.W. COOK ... 228-861-0666

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Transmissions Repair & Installation Also Available WOOLMARKET, MS I-10 exit 41

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1965 T-Bird. 390 automatic, cold air, excellent shape, drive anywhere. $19, 500 O.B.O. call Bill at 228 363-2193 or 228 424-8022 3/15

2000 40' American Tradition Motorhome Class A Diesel Pusher. 76,653 miles Spartan Chassis. Cummins 8.3 turbo diesel engine 400hp+. New tires. New TVs (bedroom & living room). Satellite for TV. 3 Awnings, 2 Air Conditioners, 2 slides, sleeps 4, good generator. New Queen mattress. New inverter/converter. Replaced the toilet to a handicap height toilet. Plenty of storage. Washer/Dryer European style unit. Has power leveling jacks. Moves great on inclines. Has plenty of diesel power. Maintained well. Had a great time visiting the USA. Selling as we just can't get away as much. Purchased used from Lazydays RV in Tampa Florida in 2005. Great Condition made by American Coach: . Has clear title. Information call 228 860-5837 located in Long Beach MS

Fins for sale. selling parts or a vehicle? You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t beat the deal in Gulf Coast MotorSports Magazine and on our web site. www.gulfcoastmotorsports.com Two months with pictures for only $10.

Classified Ads Picture Ad - $10 Non Picture Ad - $5 2 Months in the Magazine & on 1937 Dodge $27,000 OBO All Steel Body 350 cu in Crate Motor 350 Transmission 9" Ford Rear End 4 Wheel Power Disc Brakes Power Steering Shortie Headers Power Windows Manual and Electric Assist Fan Pioneer Stereo and Amplifier Cold A/C Air Bags on Rear with small Air Compressor Mounted in Trunk Mustang II Front Clip call 228-304-1063 Charlie

GulfCoastMotorSports.com 2001 Harley-Davidson FLHPI call 703 304-2708 5/15

Chevy 12 bolt locker 488 ring gear and pinion. Few miles great condition. Asking $500 call 601 528-2268 3/15

MAY 2015

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Math teacher arrested at JFK airport is suspected of belonging to secret terror society There is this dude I know who wasn’t feelin very good for quite some time, so he went to see this doctor dude. The doctor checked him out with all kinds of test, Cat Scans, MRI, EKG, different blood tests, and the ole five finger rubber glove exam. When he was thru with all of that, he invited the dude back into his office for a consultation. The doctor told him he unfortunately had some bad news to tell him. “Although there is no easy way to break it to you, I will just come right out and tell you. It looks like you only have about 6 months at best to live”. The other dude said, “Doctor are you sure? What am I going to do?” The doctor dude thought about it for a moment and said, “why don’t you give it some thought to moving to the Delta, marry a woman with a lot of junk in her trunk, with about 5 wild out of control kids, and raise a bunch of hogs”. The dude said, “doctor, will that really help me live longer”? The doctor said, “well no, but that 6 months will seem like a lifetime to ya”!! You know, ya talk about a doctor in practice. Sounds like he’s been practicing a long time and he still ain’t got it right. Lately, I don’t know if I’m getting older or maybe it’s the company I’ve been keepin. As I was talkin to this dude one day, out of the clear blue sky he said, “ well it looks like it is gonna be about a 50% chance of rain today”. I said, “a 50% chance of rain huh, how can you be so sure of that?” He said, “ because only one of my knees is hurting me today”. Now this is the same dude that believes an ‘ice bucket challenge’ is a 12 pack of beer on ice. At a funeral home, an ole lady was checkin out all the different coffins on display for her deceased husband. One of the salesmen thought she was behaving a little quirky, as she would raise a coffin lid and drop it, then she would kick at it with her foot as if to see how sturdy it was. So the one salesman said to the other salesman, “what is the deal with that”? The other salesman said, “oh she’s alright, she just wants to make sure she is getting the right one. Her husband use to be a used car salesman.

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, an ancient wooden device called a “slide-rule” and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. “Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. “Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.” As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.'” When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.” White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow.

Bought vs Homemade Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks: "Oh. How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers. "Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital." Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed." "No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves

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