Datuk Assoc. Prof. Dr. Hj. Su‘aidi Dato’ Hj. Safei
Malay Wedding Traditions This is to understand, learn and have better understanding on the wedding history, ceremonies, customs and taboos on various ethnics in Malaysia. Wedding : The act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials. Marriage : The social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband & wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. A Malay wedding is usually performed when either one or both spouses are Malay. Malaysian law defines a Malay person as a Muslim.
Malay Wedding Traditions
Malay traditional wedding ceremony consist of 5 main ceremonies (MeMBAB) as follows:
Merisik (Investigate, Visit and Observe)
Meminang (Propose)
Bertunang (Engagement)
Akad Nikah (Solemnization)
Bersanding (Enthronement)
Representatives of man's family pay a friendly visit to the family of the woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation, & it gives visitors the chance to see the woman. A hint will be given to her parents regarding the purpose of the visit, & their reaction will be assessed. The woman's parents may also give the visitors some idea as to whether or not their daughter would be interested in the match. Merisik does not constitute a formal proposal. Following the visit both sides can begin to think more seriously about the possibility or otherwise of a marriage. It is possible that no progress may take place, and the man's parents or representatives will then look for another possible bride.
Once known that the girl has not been committed, the family will set a day for men to send a propose delegation. Managing person will be conducted by the immediate family of the men. Custom made for this pupose to state that they actually officially. Relatives of both parties will negotiate to set the date and time suitable for the engagement. In addition, discussion will also be held with repect to the delivary and the number of trips that will come to the ceremony of engagement to facilitate the women prepared during the engagement soon. But nowadays, the custom of 'Merisik' is seldom to be done because that couple already know each other, so they will proceed with 'Perminangan' to save the cost and time.
Pre-wedding meeting between both parents. The adat bertunang (engagement custom) is normally held at the bride's home. Compromise about amount of expenses, the gift, and actual time for marriage & “persandingan�. Once the proposal is accepted, this may take up to a week, the engagement date is determined. During bertunang (engagement ceremony), gifts are exchanged between the couple, and the amount of mas kahwin (dowry) agreed upon. The engagement period may last between six months and three years.
Akad Nikah or the marriage contract is the first formal part of Malay wedding, as per the Islamic and civil laws. It is believed to give the marriage its sanctity. In this ceremony, the marriage is solemnised before religious officials. The groom signs the marriage contract with the Kadi in front of witness(saksi) and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin or dowry. ď ľ
A brief lecture on marriage and its responsibilities delivered later by the kadi.
This ceremony begins with the groom's procession with friends, relatives, musicians & people waving bunga manggar (palm blossom) to meet the bride. Arrival of groom at bride’s house are welcome with sound of “kompang�. Each guest will receive bunga telur (egg flower), decorated egg with fabric flower, as a sign of fertility. The couple are considered royalty for the day & so various royal customs are performed for them, including musicians playing court music and 'bodyguards' performing a display of pencak silat (traditional Malay martial arts).
The couple will sit on the Dias, “pelamin�. After the bersanding ceremony, the wedded couple and their guests attend a celebratory feast called makan beradab (formal meal). This involves the bride & groom feeding each other sweetened rice. The celebrations are concluded by posing for family photographs.
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Chinese marriage is a ceremonial ritual within Chinese societies that involve a marriage established by pre-arrangement between families.
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Within Chinese culture, romantic love was allowed, & monogamy was the norm for most ordinary citizens.
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The process began with an elaborate marriage proposal and acceptance.
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The important were the parents of the prospective bride & groom.
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Both sets of parents exchanged family credentials as tokens of intention.
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After presenting engagement tokens chose among several fortunate wedding dates suggested by the boy’s family & also set a date for presenting betrothal gifts.
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Installing the bridal bed. ď ś Symbol of many
children mates.
and
living
ď ś After the bed
is replaced, children are invited onto the bed as an omen of fertility.
The “hair dressing” ritual of
the
bride
and
the
“capping” ritual of the groom symbolized their starting into adulthood.
RED, symbolic of joy
Any sweet tea, symbolizing sweetness in the new union, is good for the chinese wedding tea ceremony. For simplicity sake, sweetened red tea can be used, but some traditional chinese sweet teas are preferred for the good connotations in their names.
Lotus seeds and red dates tea, symbolizing that the couple will bear children quickly & continuously.
Longans & red dates tea. The longan represents a "dragon" and the wish for having male children.
Bride serves tea to her parents
to show respect & to thank for raising her.
Bride in front
father in law
while the bridegroom in front of his mother.
In return, they received a lucky red envelope.
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Hindus attach a great deal of importance to marriage. The bride's and groom's home; entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof are decorated with colors, balloons and other decorations.
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Indian weddings are traditionally multi-day affairs, & involve many intricate ceremonies, like painting of hands & feet of the bride called a mehndi.
To see the bride appearance and character.
The representatives must be odd in number.
The souvenirs, such as coconut, sireh, cendana, fruits, musical and kumkum powder will be brought along.
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Information gain from the main person involve & also indirectly through friends & relatives.
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Three
important
traditional wedding:
things i)
Visit
in to
Indian bride
house (pen partaal), ii) Held a promise (niccayam), iii) Giving present (parisam)
Divided into two: Normal parisam: giving present had done earlier before wedding Udan parism: giving present on wedding day early in the morning
3 aspects:
i) Invitation card, ii) Preparation of Thaali iii) Mukuurtta Kaal Invitation Card The invitation card is wiped with liquid of kunyit
and is brought to the kuil in odd number.
Symbol of devoted to God in a marriage.
Done 7 or 9 days before the wedding day.
Gold,
cendana,
kumkum,
sireh
Pinang, coconut and payment for the thaali making.
3 days before the wedding, thaali will be taken and placed at the kuil.
Made 5 days before the wedding day.
Held on a good day according to the Indian community feeling.
To run the custom, tree is still young and cut straight plant is chosen.
Symbolized as wedding will be held at their house.
Wood strip is taken and cleaned.
5
women,
who
already
married wiped the liquid of kunyit and kumkum on the
wood strip.
Its symbolize of wealth.
The praying ceremony will be done by the married couple & 5 other
women.
5 types of seeds is scattered onto the wood strip & an oil lamp will be lighted up.
The couple will make a promise
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Thirumanan
means
sacred
marriage bond that will remain until the end of life and will last forever. ď ľ
The marriage is conducted based
on
the
aspect
ethnic/ tribe groups.
of
The
wedding
ceremony
is
performed by Pedanda: will pray for the married
couple to
live happily ever after, until old age. will scatter 9 types
of grains after
the event wearing the ring.
The groom
will tie thaali made from yarn that
is rubbed with turmeric and the ends tied with a piece of turmeric to the bride to chest level.