ANY OTHER NIGHT YOU’D TREAT ME JUST THE SAME
eden kurr
“I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.” thinking this i sit on the floor of room 503 legs crossed headphones in “I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.” my right foot is falling asleep now i move my leg to wake it up “I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.” the tingling numbness spreads from my toes to my knee i wince “I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.” even though this isn’t real pain it still hurts “I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.”
most things hurt these days ever since he left i’ve been so lost “I WONDER WHAT YOU THINK OF ME.” sitting on the floor i look up and i realize. am i trying to find someone else to replace him? “I WONDER IF HE STILL THINKS OF ME.”
when i am very sad i like to lay in my bed with the comforter over my whole body i like to imagine that the warmth surrounding me is filled with stars i think i might be in love with space, or maybe just the idea of it because there is something comforting about it the fact that for billions and billions of miles there is nothing i like to imagine myself floating in the vacuum, surrounded by light and stars my favorite planet is saturn and when i dream i picture her rings
swirling around me i picture myself as a goddess because saturn and the moon are my best friends when i am lonely they watch me from above and give me their protection but am i worth it? am i worthy of the moon and her light casting down on me? am i worthy of saturn, her rings surrounding my frail form? am i worth anything?
the only one i need is myself i have realized this i know now i do not need anyone aside from myself saturn and the moon i am worthy of everything i have i can do as i please i need no one’s approval the only one i need is myself
even if i trusted him he would continue to treat me the same everything would keep going as it has been
any other time he’d treat me just the same the only one i need is myself so why is now any different?