transcendent
sometimes I have these dreams where i try to open my eyes and i can’t, they’re glued shut and I reach up to peel them open but my hands just brush over emptiness
i often wake up in the middle of the night fingers clawing at my clenched-shut eyes i wonder if this is because of my medication or if it is just my mind turning upon itself
it is strange to think i used to be so sad i am no longer sad, not most of the time instead of a sadness it is more of a strange hollow feeling that quakes in my bones and chills my fingers when it is warm
sometimes I have these dreams that seem real feel real but when i wake up i realize they were creations of my own mind and i wonder is the same true of my waking reality?
occasionally i pass into a different dimension a world where it is me my thoughts and static that parts like water around me i am a goddess in this dimension and this is where i feel the most at home
when i leave my body i feel alive transcendent of all boundaries and yet it scares me when i look down upon myself and see my face my hollow eyes my half-smile
and i know my body is nothing but a vessel a creation i made only to benefit me until i can leave it permanently