white hot sky
the sky outside is white hot glowing even though there is no sun visible amongst the cobwebbed clouds
the heat is glowing against my tired eyes and reflecting off of my glasses scattering beams of light onto the plastic wall
I am empty floating here in space with nothing holding me to my body save for the inhibitions I have about flying away
I do my best work when I am sad I do everything the best when I am melancholy I want nothing more than to disappear from this earth
the seat I am in is too small and my legs are aching my eyes are burned from the white hot sky my hands hurt my knee is pressed against the seat in front of me and most of all I am sad
do you think they can see this when they look at me can they see I have no light in my eyes can they see even when I am smiling I am pretending
I have not written in too long much too long and now the words are flowing with nothing stopping them they are a river of emotion and my tired eyes have been the dam
it would be easier if no one else knew I tell myself this every day but I don’t think that’s right I think everyone should know that the white hot sky is a manifestation of the anger that shudders my bones and turns my heart to ice
the scariest thing is not death I welcome death I welcome serenity the scariest thing is not ever being able to write again not ever being able to get these horrible words out from behind my tired tired eyes
the sky outside is white hot glowing and the clouds have thickened and a pink smoke has diffused through them and I wonder as I stare out the window why I am still angry
why am I overcome by rage so often why do I feel the need to scream and punch and destroy and why do I never ever act on these hidden desires
the light is gone now the sky is a deep blue with ribbons of pink spread across it like veins the plane's wing wobbles in the air
W
my dreams are feverish I know not what to think of there is no way out there is no way to be free from this lust for revenge
I want to kill him I want to make him suffer the way he has made me suffer I want him to feel the weight of the world on his shoulders I want him to drown in his own fear of the future