January 2014
A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT TO
Merging Money
Tips for newlyweds about to consolidate their finances
The Perks of Planners Why you need a wedding planner
Negotiation Know-How How to get the best deals on wedding services
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
. .. 5 6 9 1 in d e h s li b ta s E ALVAREITA’S COLLEGE OF COSMOTOLOGY
3 Save-the-date card etiquette 3 Wedding invitations tip sheet
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4 Why you need a wedding planner 5 Things to consider when mulling a destination wedding
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6 Roles of the best man and maid of honor 6 Tips when toasting the bride and groom
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7 How to stay energized throughout your wedding day
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8 Explore unique cake flavor combinations 9 Tips for newlyweds about to merge finances 10 Choosing the right wedding reception favors 11 Tips for selecting wedding day flowers 11 Did you know? 12 How to approach music on your wedding day
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14 Careful timing makes weddings go off without a hitch 15 Negotiation know-how
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Tradition behind tossing rice
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nce a couple has been married, tradition states that they be covered with tossed rice upon exiting the ceremony. The idea of throwing rice began during the Middle Ages, when rice symbolized fertility. Rice was tossed at the married couple in the hopes they would have many children and be blessed with prosperity as a family. A false rumor spread that rice was harmful to birds who would eat the discarded rice and explode, so many people now use birdseed or rose petals as alternatives. However, rest assured that the rice myth has been debunked by The Cornell Lab of Ornithology.
Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligencer.com
Save-the-date card etiquette
Wedding invitations tip sheet Steer clear of pastel or yellow text colors, and remember to have a high contrast between the color of the invitation and the text you are using for easy reading.
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any couples find that tradition reigns supreme when planning a weddings. Certain traditions, such as fathers walking their daughters down the aisle and grooms sharing a dance with their mothers at the reception, are moments to cherish. Though such traditions have withstood the test of time, couples still have some opportunities to embrace relatively recent traditions.
• Keep the invitation simple. It may be tempting to load the invitation with lots of information, but all you really need are the key pieces of information, such as the “who,” “what,” “where,” and “when.” Crowding the card will take away from its aesthetic appeal. Most stationers will suggest a separate, smaller insert in the wedding invitation for the reception information and response card. Never put information such as where you are registered or “no kids allowed.” This is material better reserved for word of mouth or on a wedding Web site.
One such recent tradition is the save-the-date card, a precursor to wedding invitations that simply lets guests know when the wedding is so they can clear their calendars and be there on a couple’s big day. While save-the-date cards are best kept simple, there are a few rules couples should follow before sending their cards out to loved ones. • Finalize the guest list before sending save-thedate cards. Couples must finalize their guest lists before sending their save-the-date cards. Doing so avoids the potentially messy situation that would no doubt arise if a person were to receive a savethe-date card but then not make the final guest list. Trimming the guest list often comes down to finances, so couples also want to agree on their budget before sending out their save-the-date cards. Once the guest list has been finalized, couples can send out their save-the-date cards as soon as possible. • Confirm addresses. Couples should confirm their loved ones’ addresses before mailing any savethe-date cards. This can be easily accomplished by sending mass emails to friends and family members or contacting individuals via private messages sent on social media sites. Postage to send save-the-date cards can be costly, especially for couples with large guest lists. Confirming addresses can save couples money on potentially wasted postage should the cards be returned because they were sent to the wrong address. In addition, confirming addresses ensures everyone gets their cards and no one feels left out when relatives receive cards and they don’t because a couple did not have their correct address. • Keep things appropriate. Save-the-date cards need not be as formal as wedding invitations, but they should still be appropriate. Guests often keep save-the-date cards on their refrigerators, where people of all ages can see the cards. So while cards can be light-hearted, they should still be family-friendly. For example, photos of the bride- and groom-to-be decked out in swimsuits should be avoided. • Don’t overdo it with information. Save-the-date cards don’t need to include as much information as the more formal invitations, which tend to include information about the ceremony, reception, hotel, directions, and other relevant wedding details. A save-the-date card only needs to include the date of the wedding, including the month, day and year so guests are not confused if the cards are going out well in advance of the wedding day. Couples can include a link to their wedding Web site on the backs of their save-the-date cards, which makes it easier for guests to learn more details about the wedding without inundating them with information too early.
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edding invitations often provide guests with a first glimpse of a wedding’s style. Invitations also may serve as the means by which distant friends and relatives find out about a couple’s pending nuptials if a formal announcement was not made. Amid the flourishes of calligraphy and impressive paper stock is information that speaks to the importance of the day when two people will be joining their lives together. Guests will learn not only the time and the place of the wedding from the invitation, but also the formality of the event and the scope of the party that will follow. Couples should keep certain things in mind as they begin to design their wedding invitations. • Have a good idea of your potential guest list. Before shopping for wedding invitations, it is key to have a strong idea of just how big the wedding will be and how many guests will be invited. This way you will know how many invitations you will need. Invitations vary in price, so cost may be a consideration if your guest list is extensive. • Decide on the formality of the wedding. Will you be hosting a black tie affair, or will it be a casual gathering at the shore? Guests
infer many things about the wedding from the invitations, which should match the formality of the event in style and the sentiments expressed. An ornate invitation written with classic wording suggests a more formal affair, while a whimsical invitation with less formal wording could indicate a more laidback event. • Dare to be different by playing with invitation sizes and shapes. Rectangular cards are standard for wedding invitations, but you can explore your creativity by choosing more modern, artsy invitations. Circular invites or scalloped edges can add some whimsy to the wedding mood. Invitations that fold out or are embellished with ribbon or other decorations can be appealing. Just keep in mind that cards that are not the standard shape and size could be more costly to send. Always have the entire wedding invitation weighed and priced at the post office so you will know what the postage will cost. • Choose a legible font and text color. Your invitation may look beautiful, but it may prove ineffective if it is difficult to read. Do not risk guests misinterpreting the date or the location because they cannot read the writing on the invitation.
• Do some math. It is important to know your dates so you can receive the invitations on time, mail them out, and give guests enough time to respond. A good rule of thumb is to mail out the invitations at least two months before the wedding. Have an RSVP date of no more than three to four weeks before the wedding, giving ample time to the caterers and accommodating anyone who procrastinates in sending in a response. You will need the final headcount in order to confirm seating arrangements and plan for centerpieces and favors. • Handwrite the envelopes. Your invitation will look more impressive if you address them by hand, rather than printing them off of a computer. If your handwriting is not very neat, consider hiring a professional calligrapher to write out your envelopes. • Make it easy for guests to respond. Be sure to place a stamp on the response card envelope and have that envelope already addressed with your home address so that guests will have no excuses not to mail a response back promptly. • Always order extra. Mistakes happen, and you may need to send out a few extra invitations that you hadn’t originally counted. Always order extra invitations just to be on the safe side. And don’t forget you will probably want to keep one as a keepsake for yourself.
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
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Why you need a wedding planner
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lanning a wedding is often both fun and frustrating. While planning a party for friends and family can be fun, couples can easily be overwhelmed by the nuts and bolts of planning such a significant event. Interviewing vendors, negotiating prices and arranging for accommodations are just a few of the many tasks couples must complete before they can finally relax and tie the knot. The sheer volume of decisions couples must make when planning a wedding is one reason many men and women seek the services of wedding planners. The following are some additional reasons couples might want to ease their burdens and hire wedding planners as they get ready for their big day.
• Planners are familiar with vendors. Wedding planners work for couples, and while planners often recommend certain vendors, they typically work with whomever the couples ultimately choose. As a result, veteran wedding planners tend to have worked with every florist, caterer, deejay, and venue in their areas. That makes them an invaluable resource to couples who don’t know where to begin as they start planning their weddings. Wedding planners can save couples time by suggesting couples avoid certain vendors, whether it’s because
those vendors have poor service records or they simply don’t fit into a couple’s budget. Wedding planners also can make recommendations based on what couples want. For example, wedding planners may know which deejays are best for more raucous receptions and which ones are best suited for couples who want a more formal affair. • Planners know pricing. Wedding vendors often leave room for negotiation when making proposals to prospective customers. Seasoned wedding planners will know the going rates for various services, helping couples get the best rates possible and doing so with minimal effort. In addition, planners might be able to negotiate directly with vendors they have worked with in the past, removing one of the biggest stressors of planning a wedding, the negotiation process, from the list of responsibilities couples must handle before tying the knot. • Planners remember the small details you’re likely to forget. Many couples who have large weddings are getting married for the first time, and there are bound to be details they overlook along the way. Seasoned wedding planners are far less likely to overlook even the tiniest of details, helping couples rest easy knowing that no
stone has gone unturned as their big days draw closer and closer. • Planners keep you on course. The longer a couple’s engagement, the easier it becomes to put certain decisions off. But as the wedding day draws nearer, that procrastination often turns into panic, as couples realize their options dwindling and decisions need to be made as soon as possible. Wedding planners hired shortly after a couple gets engaged will be there to ensure couples stay on track, making decisions as needed and not putting important decisions off until the last minute. • Planners make the wedding day less stressful. Despite all the planning and preparation that goes into their weddings, couples often find their wedding days to be whirlwind days that seem to fly by. Small problems on a couple’s wedding day have a tendency to be magnified, but a seasoned wedding planner can address such issues before the couple is even aware they existed. This makes the day much more enjoyable for the bride and groom and their investment in a wedding planner that much more worthwhile.
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligencer.com
Things to consider when mulling a destination wedding
wedding takes place, pull the kids out of school for an extended period of time. Couples with smaller guests list might find a destination wedding much more manageable than those whose guest lists crack triple digits. Another thing to consider is that the larger the guest list, the more likely many of those guests will not be able to afford to attend or get enough time off from work to make it to a destination wedding. Couples who want to ensure all of their loved ones can be there with them on their big days might be better off avoiding destination weddings. Accessibility
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ccording to a study from XO Group Inc., creator of wedding Web sites TheKnot.com and WeddingChannel.com, 350,000 destination weddings take place annually. Such figures reflect a growing trend of couples who want to tailor their weddings to their own personalities, even if that means tying the knot in exotic or unusual locales. But as popular as destination weddings have become, couples who have had have such weddings can attest that planning a destination wedding is not necessarily easier than planning a more traditional ceremony close to home. Though destination weddings can make for memorable affairs, there are some factors couples must consider when mull-
ing whether or not to have a destination wedding. Guest list The XO Group study found that destination weddings have an average of 86 guests. When sitting down to organize their guest lists, many couples realize they have well over 100 guests on their lists. Such couples may find a destination wedding especially difficult to pull off, as resorts may or may not be able to accommodate such a substantial number of guests. In addition, couples who hope to invite children to their weddings might want to reconsider a destination affair, as those youngsters’ parents will have to foot the bill for additional airfare and accommodations and, depending on when the
Accessibility is a common concern for couples considering destination weddings. Destination weddings typically ask guests to travel far to attend the ceremony and reception, but there are ways to make that travel less of an ordeal. When choosing a location for their destination weddings, couples should consider the cost and convenience of travel. Remote islands are not very accessible, and as a result guests will likely have to pay a pretty penny for their flights and lodging. In addition, the more remote a destination wedding locale is, the less convenient getting there figures to be. Nonstop flights likely won’t be a possibility. Before choosing a locale for a destination wedding, research flights, making sure that affordable flights are available within spitting distance of loved ones’ homes and that they won’t have to suffer through multiple connecting flights when traveling to and from the wedding. Weather
study found that 30 percent of American couples who have destination weddings choose to tie the knot outside of the continental United States. That’s a distinct disadvantage for couples who likely are not very familiar with weather patterns overseas. Couples who choose outdoor weddings close to home are often familiar enough with local weather patterns to choose a wedding date that likely won’t be interrupted by harsh weather. But choosing an overseas or distant locale erases that comfort level, and couples may find themselves worrying about storms or other inclement weather conditions as their wedding days draw nearer. Before choosing a locale for their destination weddings, couples should thoroughly research each potential destination’s weather patterns. Brides, grooms and guests alike don’t want to do all of that traveling only to end up indoors because it just so happens to be tropical storm season. Competition As destination weddings have grown in popularity, the competition for idyllic locales and top-notch venues has increased. That competition is great for venue owners’ bottom lines, but it might not be so great for couples looking to keep their wedding costs down. Costs might be considerably less in the off-season, but that’s also when storms and inclement weather tend to take hold, Booking a venue early can help couples mitigate some of the costs of a destination wedding, but the growing popularity of destination weddings might make them out of reach for couples working on tight budgets.
Weather is another factor couples must consider before choosing to have a destination wedding. The XO Group
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
Roles of the best man and maid of honor
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eing chosen as a best man or a maid of honor is a significant and meaningful honor. Those roles have evolved over the years, but these special participants must still perform some of the traditional duties of the past, including serving as the official witnesses to the ceremony. The following is a rundown of the various duties maids of honor and best men are now expected to handle once they’re chosen for these distinguished honors.
Tips when toasting the bride and groom
Prior to the wedding
Before the wedding takes place, the maid of honor will closely assist the bride-to-be with many of the important decisions related to the look and the feel of the wedding. She typically accompanies the bride to dress shops to select gowns for the bride and bridesmaids. Much in the same manner, the best man will assist the groom-to-be with choosing tuxedoes or suits and also with coordinating with the ushers to ensure they know when to go for fittings. Although the best man will serve as a sounding board for the groom, traditionally the bride and her bridesmaids have taken on the majority of the wedding planning, so the maid of honor can expect to play a larger role than the best man. The maid of honor may be asked to delegate certain assignments, such as helping to find wedding vendors or addressing invitations. She may go with the bride for makeup and hairstyle trials. Together with the bridesmaids, she will plan a bridal shower party and a bachelorette excursion. She may select a wedding gift for the couple and present it on behalf of all the wedding attendants. The best man will coordinate the bachelor party and may be asked to assist the groom with selecting a honeymoon site or to come along to book the trip. Wedding day On the day of the wedding, the maid
of honor and the best man will act as a support system for the bride and groom. The maid of honor will help the bride get dressed and help iron out any miniemergencies that should crop up. The best man will help ensure all of the ushers are dressed and get the groom to the wedding on time. During the ceremony, the maid of honor will hold the bride’s bouquet while she participates in the wedding. The best man will keep the rings safe until they are needed. The maid of honor also will help adjust the bride’s train and veil as she sits and stands during the ceremony. Both will sign the marriage certificate as witnesses. At the reception, the best man is expected to give a toast and the maid of honor may share some words as well. She also may accompany the bride to the restroom and assist her with managing the gown. After the wedding The best man will be in charge of returning the tuxedoes to the rental shop, if necessary. He also may drive the newly married couple to the airport so they can depart on their honeymoon. The maid of honor will assist the bride in changing out of her gown and into her travel clothes. Oftentimes the maid of honor takes the gown to the cleaners in the days following the ceremony so the dress can be preserved.
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oasting the bride and groom at a wedding reception is a responsibility that typically falls on the shoulders of the bride’s father as well as the best man and the maid of honor. Though it is an honor to give a wedding toast, it also can be nerve-wracking, as no one wants to give a toast that’s memorable for all the wrong reasons. While the best toasts are often those that veer off the beaten path, coming from the heart rather than from a how-to guide found on the Internet, there is a certain formula men and women can follow to ensure their toasts cover all of the appropriate bases without offending the bridal party or fellow guests. • Acknowledge the guests. Families are more geographically diverse than ever before, so more and more weddings host guests who come from far and wide to celebrate with happy couples on their wedding days. It’s customary for men and women making wedding toasts to acknowledge the guests, thanking them for being there. This is often a great way for best men and maids of honor to break the ice and calm their nerves, especially at larger weddings where they may only know a small percentage of the guests. When thanking the guests, be sure to thank the parents of the bride and groom as well. • Explain your relationship to the bride and/or groom. Best men and maids of honor should devote a portion of their toasts to explaining their personal relationships with the bride and/or groom. Introduce yourself and explain how you met the bride or groom. Oftentimes, such stories have a comical twist that can further calm your nerves.
• Aim for a jovial toast. Wedding toasts are typically given at the wedding reception, when guests and the bridal party are ready to celebrate. Such an atmosphere lends itself to a jovial toast wherein best men and maids of honor focus on happy times with the bride and groom. Tell a funny anecdote that illustrates the special bond you have with the bride or groom. When choosing a story to tell, remember to keep things appropriate for guests of all ages, including young children. • Steer clear of alcohol before giving your toast. Many people overindulge in alcohol at wedding receptions, but best men and maids of honor should avoid consuming alcohol until after they have toasted the bride and groom. Horror stories about drunken, inappropriate wedding toasts may seem more like an urban legend than a legitimate possibility, but the tendency for alcohol to lower people’s inhibitions makes it dangerous for men and women to consume it before giving their toasts. • Give your best wishes to the bride and groom before raising your glass. Raising your glass to toast the bride and groom is often the last step before your toasting duties officially end. But before you raise your glass, remember to offer your best wishes to both the bride and groom. Once those sentiments have been expressed, ask the guests to raise their glasses and toast the newlyweds. Toasting happy couples at their wedding receptions can be stressful for best men and maids of honor who are unaccustomed to speaking in front of large groups of people. But following a certain formula and speaking from the heart will ensure such toasts go off without a hitch.
Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligencer.com
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How to stay energized throughout your wedding day As enjoyable as a wedding can be, most brides and grooms who have already tied the knot can attest that a wedding is a long, often tiring day. It is very easy for energy levels to wane. To ensure you have enough energy to last through to the final good-bye of the evening, follow these suggestions to remain energized.
• Recognize your wedding day is a very long day. It’s possible to rise quite early in the morning to begin prepping with makeup, hair styles, wardrobe and more. If the party is an evening reception, it could last until the wee hours of the night. You may find yourself up for nearly 24 hours, when the cameras will be flashing and the video rolling throughout. Naturally, you’ll want to look your best throughout.
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couple’s wedding day is the culmination of months and months of planning. For most, it is one of the most memorable, magical days of their lives, filled with fond moments of time spent with close friends and family.
• Get a good night’s sleep the night before. Get to bed early the night before so you will get ample sleep and look rested. It is understandable that nerves and excitement may get the best of you and make it difficult to fall asleep. If you often grow anxious and struggle to fall asleep before big events, talk to your doctor prior to the wedding to ask if you can be prescribed a one-time-only sleeping pill that will ensure you get to sleep promptly. Do not take this medication with alcohol, and be sure to take it only if you can get a full 7 to
8 hours of sleep. Otherwise you may experience medicine hangover.
• Enjoy a hearty breakfast. At breakfast on the morning of your wedding, consume a combination of carbohydrates and protein. The carbs will provide the initial burst of energy you need to get going, and the protein will keep you feeling full. A combination of whole wheat toast, fresh fruit and Greek yogurt makes for a filling start to the day. • Stay hydrated. Although drinking a lot of water can result in more frequent trips to the bathroom — which can be cumbersome for brides wearing their gowns — it is essential to stay hydrated. Dehydration can result in headaches, weakness and dizziness and may make you feel cranky. Be sure to consume water throughout the day. • Pack some snacks. The time between breakfast and the cocktail hour of a wedding may be significant. In your wedding “survival” kit, be sure to pack some easy snacks to eat. Trail mix can be nibbled for a boost of energy, and a banana can take the edge off of hunger pangs. Avoid anything messy that can drip onto clothing or get stuck in your teeth. Arrange to have snacks stowed in the limousine or another mode of transportation so that you can refuel on the way to the ceremony or in transit to the reception.
• Don’t overdo it with caffeine. It may be tempting to lean on an energy drink or a super-size cup of coffee to give you the boost you need. But caffeine is only a temporary fix. After the effects of the caffeine wear off, you could find yourself more tired than before and crash at an inopportune time during the day. Instead, a brisk walk outdoors may recharge your batteries. Afterward, time spent on the dance floor enjoying the reception will likely stimulate some adrenaline to keep you going. • Eat dinner. When family is beckoning and the photographer needs to get yet another pose, it is easy to skip dinner. Be firm with your decision to enjoy your meal. After all, you paid for it and it should not go to waste. Besides, sitting down to dinner enables you to rest and absorb the atmosphere of the wedding.
• Continue to drink plenty of water throughout the night. Alcoholic beverages may be flowing, but too many spirits can compromise your energy levels. Be sure to balance the booze with hydrating fluids, such as water or juice. Weddings take up the entire day, and it can be easy to succumb to a lack of energy as the day progresses. But by heeding a few tips, it’s possible to remain in top form throughout the entire wedding.
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
Wedding Cakes & Specialty Desserts Wedding cake consults by appointment
Explore unique cake flavor combinations
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wedding cake is the pièce de résistance of the wedding ceremony. Guests anxiously await the unveiling of the cake near the end of the festivities. Modern cakes are showpieces grander in scale than in years past. As bakers and confectioners hone their skills with fondant, buttercream and gum paste even further, the results are often impressive, aweinspiring cake designs.
While the look of a wedding cake is certainly important, cakes should not only look good, but taste good as well. Vanilla cake with vanilla buttercream frosting was once the gold standard. But today’s couples are being more adventurous with their wedding cakes and winning rave reviews from guests along the way.
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The vast scope of wedding cake flavor choices available to brides and grooms is astonishing. Options may range from the traditional to something adventurous and daring. Keeping in mind that couples will need to please the masses, finding a compromise between plain vanilla and a mocha-chile-coconut surprise is essential. Otherwise, they risk an unpopular flavor and a lot of wasted, expensive cake. Some couples shy away from more adventurous cakes because they fear something chocolately or not white in color will not be well suited to a wedding reception. Such couples should keep in mind that any flavor of cake can be hidden beneath layers of pearly white fondant or royal icing. Therefore, the sky is the limit with regard to flavor combinations. Those who might want to veer from tradition can consider these clever cake combinations. • Lemon cake with vanilla buttercream: Lemons are tart, juicy and refreshing, helping to cleanse the palate after a rich meal. Lemon cake, with its summery feel, is tailor-made for summer weddings. The flavor is popular enough to appeal to many, but just a little different to add an unexpected zip of flavor. • Chocolate cake with chocolate gânache and mocha filling: True chocoholics will be hard-pressed to resist such a decadent flavor profile. Chocolate can be sweet and satisfying and a welcome change from the vanilla cakes commonly served. For traditionalists, the cake can be covered with a white chocolate gânache. Or couples can ask that the cake be adorned with white sugar roses for an eye-appealing contrast. Chocolate cakes covered with autumn hued flowers go over well at fall weddings.
Think outside of the cake box when selecting flavors for the centerpiece of the wedding reception. • Red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting: Red velvet cake was once a regionally specific staple, but now has grown steadily in popularity across the country. Red velvet has quickly become the new classic, as its vibrant red coloring offers a shock of something different, while the flavor is mild for those who are not comfortable taking risks. The richness and creaminess of cream cheese is irresistible. • White cake with chocolate mousse: Couples who want a bit of chocolate but do not want to be overwhelmed can select a white cake that is filled with light and rich chocolate mousse. It’s the perfect blend of vanilla and chocolate for guests who enjoy both. • Variety tiers: Those who cannot settle on just one flavor can have different flavors on each tier of their cakes. This gives guest some flavorful variety and enables them to pick their favorite flavor combination. Brides- and grooms-to-be who have specific flavors in mind can ask their bakers to include two cupcakes with the wedding cake. Then the couple can enjoy their own mini cakes while the rest of the guests enjoy a more classic cake. In addition, an assortment of cupcakes in lieu of one cake can give guests the opportunity to sample several different flavors. Cakes are a part of many special events, but few cakes are fawned over as much as wedding cakes. Couples can spice things up by choosing a nontraditional flavor combination.
Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligencer.com
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Tips for newlyweds about to merge finances
finances, define both short-term and long-term goals and how each of you can adjust your spending habits to make those goals come true.
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• Pay off any debts. The cost of weddings has skyrocketed over the last several decades, and many newlyweds find themselves in a considerable amount of debt upon returning from their honeymoons. When merging finances, couples should prioritize paying down such debt, as debt is a significant source of stress for newlyweds and long-married couples alike. Newly married couples with little or no debt should avoid spending above their means in the months after they get married. Such spending is commonplace, as newly married couples often want to fully furnish their new homes or reward themselves for pulling off their weddings. But new debt can be just as stressful on a marriage as debt from the wedding, so avoid this potentially problematic pitfall by paying down existing debts with your newly merged finances.
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ewlyweds often have a lot on their plates upon returning from their honeymoons. One of the more critical issues newly married couples must address is their finances and how those finances will be combined going forward. Combining finances can be a touchy subject for many couples, especially those who had not given much thought to their finances prior to tying the knot. But there are steps couples can take to make the process of merging finances go more smoothly.
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• Discuss finances early and often. Allowing finances to be the elephant in the room is a mistake, as couples do not want to begin their lives together treading lightly around an issue as significant as finances. Couples should discuss their expenditures and spending habits as early as possible, as one of the biggest hurdles newly married couples must clear is coming to grips with one another’s financial habits. If such habits have already been discussed, then developing a financial plan will be much easier once that time comes. When discussing
• Make note of mutual expenses and open a joint account to pay for those expenses. Mutual expenses like mortgage payments, food and utilities should be the responsibility of each partner, and a joint account should be established to handle such expenses. When opening a joint account, discuss how much and how often each partner will contribute money. One partner might earn considerably more money than another, so work out a reasonable agreement that details how much each partner will contribute each month, and whether such contributions will be made on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis. • Make concessions for one another. When merging finances, couples often discover that they don’t see eye-to-eye on how each person spends money. Couples who successfully merge their finances often note the importance of making concessions with regard to their partners’ spending on certain hobbies or luxuries. As long as those hobbies are not putting couples in debt or jeopardizing their financial goals, couples can make concessions so their partners continue to be happy and enjoy their favorite activities. Merging finances is an issue that looms for many newlyweds or couples about to tie the knot. Though it’s not always easy, merging finances early and discussing goals can ensure newlyweds get off on the right financial foot.
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
Choosing the right wedding reception favors
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lanning a perfect wedding is no small undertaking. From scheduling venues and hiring vendors to tasting menus, lots of decisions must be made when planning a wedding. But when the pieces fall into place, the entire day can be magical. One of the final components of weddings are the favors guests will take home with them as mementos of the festivities. Though favors don’t require immediate attention, that does not mean couples should wait until the last minute to made decisions regarding their wedding favors. Brides- and grooms-to-be should not underestimate the importance of handing out wedding favors, a tradition with a rich history. A wedding favor is considered a
symbol of good will to guests, and there are many different wedding favors on the market. Finding the right one can take a little work. It is usually a good idea to find something that suits the theme of the wedding and is both long-lasting and practical. Try to avoid anything that is too kitschy. A couple’s budget should be considered when choosing wedding favors. A couple may want to give their guests lavish gifts but should only do so if their budget allows. It may be challenging for couples to find favors that fit the theme of their wedding, as well as their own personalities and budgets. But it can be done. The following are some favor-finding guidelines.
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Wedding favors can be just about anything, so there’s no need to stick to Jordan almonds or wine bottle stoppers. The more creative couples are, the more receptive their guests will likely be. For example, for an autumn-theme wedding, fill mason jars with the ingredients for a spiced cake and give the recipe directions on a tag. For a summer wedding, gift guests with a sun and surf survival bag, full of sunblock, a beach towel and sunglasses.
Couples who opt for universally appealing favors can lean toward some popular options, such as silver cake servers, candlestick holders, decorative photo frames, or engraved keepsake boxes. Aim for favors that have utility. Otherwise, favors may end up collecting dust on someone’s shelf.
Complete the theme Some weddings follow a particular theme from start to finish, and wedding favors should stick with that theme. Couples who will showcase their love of travel on their wedding days may want to give guests keychains or purse holders that feature popular landmarks around the world. Those who are admitted beach bums may want to present a small fishbowl with sand and a goldfish inside, reminiscent of days at the seashore.
Food and beverage gifts are fun Food favors mean guests can enjoy their gifts and not have to worry about finding space inside their homes to display trinkets. Food favors can be lavishly decorated cookies, fine chocolates, petit fours, small bottles of champagne or cupcakes decorated like the wedding cake. Favors are often integral to wedding celebrations. Selecting a favor that will be appreciated and fit with the wedding is often a fun and stress-free part of planning a wedding.
Our unique Center offers an intimate and affordable venue for Weddings of all faiths. For that special day, have your ceremony in our special local landmark building that is “crowned” with a geodesic dome of the earth designed by R. Buckminster Fuller. The global perspective depicted in the ballooning expanse of the dome instills a sense of the world and its wonders. Located on the campus of SIUE.
Contact us: (618) 650-3246 or siue.edu/religion
Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligencer.com
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Tips for selecting wedding day flowers • To give the impression that there are more flowers than there really are, use fragrance and filler as your tools. Fragrant flowers can fill up the room with a welcoming aroma. Look for frangipani, lilies, hyacinths, jasmine, and sweet peas for a big impact. Florists know how to stretch arrangements by using greenery and other filler to lend bulk without too much extra cost.
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hat would a wedding day be without flowers? The beauty and the aroma of fresh-cut flowers can create a welcoming atmosphere and complement the beauty and the style of a wedding wardrobe. Flowers are often the first things that guests see upon arriving for the ceremony, and they may even be something guests take home at the end of the night. Flowers create an air of romance, and most couples want to make flowers — whether fresh or silk — an integral part of their wedding day. As with any decision when planning a wedding, choosing the right flowers requires some research and a basic knowledge of which flowers will convey the message and the theme of your wedding. The number of colors, textures and combinations that can be created are so numerous that couples may feel the decision on the floral arrangements is best left to the florist. But it doesn’t take a lot of expertise to know what you want, and it is important for couples to convey their feelings to the florist. Consider these tips when choosing a florist and selecting flowers. • Experts advise that a couple start looking for a florist at least six months before the wedding, especially if the wedding will take place during the peak season of May through September. Get recommendations from friends as to which florist they used or find out if your wedding planner or banquet hall manager recommends a particular florist. Some catering halls have agreements with florists, and they work together.
• Browse magazines to get ideas of what you like. You also may be able to find a florist through an advertisement or if he or she has been featured in publications. Keep a scrapbook of the colors, types of flowers and arrangements and any other ideas that attract you so you will be able to present this information to the florist. • Establish your flower budget prior to sitting down with the florist. You should expect to pay at least 8 percent of the total wedding cost on flowers. Get an estimate on the floral arrangement and then tweak your needs according to your budget. Many florists can modify arrangements and find a middle ground with regard to cost. Selecting flowers that are in-season will result in more affordable rates than if you desire exotic or out-ofseason blooms. • Once you’ve hired the florist, you can come up with a wedding flower worksheet that establishes all of your needs. The florist may ask for specific information, such as photos of the bride’s gown as well as the colors and styles that the wedding party will be wearing. A good florist knows that a bouquet should not overpower or detract from the beauty of the bride. The florist may want to mimic textures from the dress, such as beading, with smaller flowers or berries within the arrangement. The groom’s boutonniere is traditionally one of the flowers from the bride’s bouquet so that the look is cohesive.
• Ceremony flowers may be traditional, and some houses of worship have strict guidelines as to what can and cannot be used. However, reception flowers can be where you show off your creativity and whimsy. After all, this is a party and it should be fun. You may want to give the florist more freedom of expression with regard to reception centerpieces and flowers that adorn other areas of the room. • Because receptions tend to take place in the evening hours and are often indoor affairs, experts say that added lighting may be needed to put emphasis on the floral centerpieces and help present them in their best light. You may want to think about hiring a lighting designer to spotlight some areas of the room or at the very least incorporate candlelight into your centerpiece arrangements.
• Experienced florists will know how long it takes certain buds to open and show off their maximum beauty. Therefore, expect a florist to be working on your floral arrangements as much as a week before the wedding date — purchasing containers, cleaning flowers and waiting for certain ones to open fully. Minimize changes close to your wedding date as most things will already be started. • It is possible to make your own centerpieces or bouquets if you so desire. Simplicity will work best for the novice. Think about grouping similar-hued calla lilies together for a bridal bouquet. Hydrangea and peonies are larger flowers that can easily fill up a vessel on a table as a centerpiece. White flowers will coordinate with any color scheme and could be the easiest to mix and match. White blooms include sweet pea, rose, camellia, stephanotis, narcissus, gardenia, orchid, lily of the valley, jasmine, and gypsophila. Flowers are one component of the wedding that will help achieve the magic and beautiful atmosphere couples desire.
Did you know?
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hough many couples still tie the knot in traditional religious ceremonies officiated by a minister, priest, rabbi or other religious leader, more couples are embracing less traditional ceremonies that can be officiated by secular officiants. Humanist weddings, for example, may be officiated by someone who shares the same philosophy of life as the bride and/or groom, and such officials typically have no religious affiliation. Civil ceremonies are another type of wedding ceremony for couples who do not want a traditional religious wedding. Civil ceremonies are often presided over by a justice of the peace, political official or even a certified notary public. The rules regarding civil ceremonies vary from state to state, so couples considering a civil ceremony should do their homework before moving forward with any wedding plans. Couples with different religious backgrounds who still want a religious ceremony may want to consider an interfaith ceremony that includes traditions from each faith and may even include religious leaders from each faith.
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
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How to approach music on your wedding day Ceremony The ceremony itself often sets the tone for a couple’s wedding day. A beach wedding, for example, often creates a laid back atmosphere, while a ceremony held in a large church or temple often sets a more formal tone. Music played during the ceremony also goes a long way toward setting the tone couples hope to establish.
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usic often plays an important role on festive occasions, and wedding days are no exception. The right music can make a wedding day that much more meaningful, while the wrong music can make a couple’s big event memorable for all the wrong reasons. Though music selection might seem like one of the easier decisions couples must make, those about to tie the knot typically
must make a host of music-related decisions regarding their wedding day, including whether to choose a live band or a deejay to perform at their wedding receptions. While the reception is when music might be most on display, couples planning their weddings must think beyond the reception when setting the musical tones for their weddings.
When choosing music for the ceremony, couples should first consider the venue where they are tying the knot. Some, such as houses of worship, may have rules pertaining to what can and cannot be played inside the venue. Classical, hymnal or processional music often makes the best fit when weddings are taking place in more formal venues. Outdoor weddings tend to give couples more leeway. But in general couples don’t want to choose any music that’s too loud or over-the-top for their ceremonies. Keep in mind that while the music played during the ceremony can set the tone for
the day, this music can vary significantly from the music played during the reception. A favorite performer may not be appropriate during the ceremony, but that doesn’t mean the couple can’t dance to that artist’s music during the reception. Live musicians can add a more elegant feel to the ceremony, but such performers also can be costly. Playing prerecorded music may not be as elegant as having a live performer, but it can cost a lot less and still make for an enjoyable day and evening. Reception Many couples prefer deejays to live bands for their wedding receptions. Deejays can play favorite songs as couples and their guests know them, while bands can only play their own renditions of those songs. Another thing to consider when choosing
Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligencer.com need to consider equipment when choosing bands or deejays to play their weddings. For example, some venues do not provide equipment, such as microphones and speaker systems, to couples for their ceremonies. Renting such equipment can be costly, but couples can often skirt such charges by hiring deejays or bands who lend couples their equipment during the ceremony. Deejays or bands who will loan and set up the necessary sound equipment for outdoor ceremonies merit extra consideration. between a deejay or live band for the reception is the venue itself. Some venues are smaller and unable to accommodate a full band, while others may not have ideal acoustics, making it difficult for a live band to sound as good as they might in a more music-friendly environment. The formality of the event should also come into consideration when choosing between a live band or a deejay for the reception. Deejays spinning the latest top 40 hits may stick out like sore thumbs at especially formal weddings, while a classical orchestra likely won’t fit into the laid back theme of a beach or destination wedding.
When discussing music to be played during the reception, couples must consider their own musical tastes as well as those of their guests. A wide range of popular music tends to go best at wedding receptions, as guests are more likely to dance to songs they recognize. Avoid any music that has the potential to offend guests, opting for lighter, happier tunes instead. Whether hiring a band or deejay, couples should make a list of no-play songs or artists and make sure that such lists are included in their contracts. Music plays an important role on couples’ wedding days. Though choosing music for the ceremony and the reception is often fun, couples must take such decisions seriously.
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
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Careful timing makes weddings go off without a hitch begins at the reception site, leaving guests with time to kill before the reception.
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s any holiday host can attest, timing is crucial to getting a meal out hot and ensuring each course is ready for the table. Timing is equally important when planning a wedding. Various elements must come together in the right order to create a seamless day for couples and guests alike. In addition to organizing floral deliveries, ensuring the wedding party arrives on time, and getting hair and makeup done promptly, couples who will be having their ceremony in a different location from the reception will need to spend more time factoring timing into their wedding day equations. Factors like traveling to and from the site, as well as hunger pangs and potential weather-related complications, will need to be considered.
Many couples choose to have their ceremonies and receptions at the same site, a decision that makes scheduling much easier. Once the ceremony is over, guests simply go inside or to another area of the grounds to begin the reception. Some traditionalists, though, prefer to have their ceremony in a place of worship and then travel to a separate reception location afterward. Both scenarios are acceptable, but the latter option requires a little more planning. Couples will need to know when the church or temple is available for the ceremony and when the reception hall will be open to guests. Some weddings are held after daily masses or other religious ceremonies. An afternoon wedding may end a few hours before the cocktail hour
Couples can try to remove as much time between the reception and ceremony as possible by coordinating with their catering managers. If finances allow, couples can request the wedding reception begin early. This way guests can arrive at the cocktail hour and comfortably mingle among themselves. These requests are common, and many catering managers will be happy to meet requests to keep a bride and groom’s business. If this is not possible, couples have a few alternatives. If the reception site is a good distance away, the travel there may take up the idle time. Otherwise, the bride and groom may need to come up with another plan. In some instances, a family member opens his or her home up to some of the guests, who may enjoy light refreshments. It may be possible to use a cafeteria or gathering space at the ceremony site for a little while as well. If the photographer plans to take outdoor photos between the
ceremony and reception, the couple can invite some guests along to witness the shots or be a part of the photo shoot.
Thoughtful couples also can provide other accommodations, such as letting guests know about local restaurants where they can spend a little time and grab a small bite to eat before the reception begins. Hotels affiliated with the wedding party may be able to host guests during these in-between hours as well. The hotel bar or a conference room might be ideal spots for guests to kill some time. Couples also can arrange something with the reception hall. While the party room or cocktail area may not be ready until the designated time, the site may have an attached restaurant, salon or gardens, where guests can relax as they wait for the start of the festivities. Timing all of the elements of a wedding day properly can be challenging. Guests’ comfort and needs should always be a priority.
Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligencer.com
Negotiation know-how How to get the best deals on wedding services
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any engaged couples have grandiose visions of their wedding days. While such visions typically come to fruition, they often do so only after heavy negotiations with the various vendors necessary to turn a dream wedding into a reality.
Couples who make the most of the negotiation process with wedding vendors often find it easier to make their dream weddings a reality.
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Negotiating prices with wedding vendors is something brides- and grooms-to-be may not anticipate, but the process of negotiation is paramount for couples who hope to plan their dream weddings without ruining their budgets. Though vendors vary considerably with regard to their willingness to negotiate, the following are a few tips for couples hoping to get the best deals possible on their wedding services. • Prepare, prepare, prepare. Couples who blindly enter negotiations with wedding venues and vendors are far less likely to get a good deal. When working with any wedding vendor, whether it’s a wedding venue representative, a local florist or a deejay, couples should know what the going rate for the vendor’s services are. Couples who find a venue they like should receive quotes from similar venues before negotiating a rate with the venue they most prefer. Arming oneself with quotes from competitors increases the chances of receiving a more couplefriendly quote from the venue liked best, as that venue won’t want to lose business, especially to one of its chief competitors. In addition to pricing, estimates from other venues can vary based on what they include. Even if a favorite venue does not come down much on its original quote, they may be willing to add extra services, such as an open bar or an extra hour during the reception, free of charge to match a competitor’s offer. But they cannot match such offers if couples don’t first do their homework and solicit estimates from their competitors. • Avoid making demands. Coming off as too demanding when negotiating prices with wedding vendors may not produce the results couples are hoping for. Much like couples don’t want to receive “take it or leave it” offers, vendors don’t want to be given demands they have to meet in order to book a wedding. The right tone can go a long way with wedding vendors, who are typically more willing to work with couples who treat them nicely than couples who enter the negotiation process full of demands. Vendors often like it when couples know what they want, but couples are not doing themselves any favors when they express those desires as demands. • Don’t be afraid to ask for more.
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Making demands and asking for more are not the same thing. When negotiating with wedding vendors, there’s no harm in asking for more. For example, the worst a deejay can do when asked to play an extra hour at no additional charge is deny that request. Reception venues often have the most wiggle room, so don’t be afraid to ask for free coffee with dessert or valet parking. Vendors are often open to suggestion and willing to honor requests, but it’s not their responsibility to make such offers. • Make sure all contracts are itemized, and read them thoroughly before signing on the dotted line. The negotiation process is often tedious, and contracts should reflect that. When hiring a wedding vendor, make sure the contract is itemized, spelling out in intimate detail just what was negotiated and how much each item costs. Couples may even notice items in the contract that can be removed, saving them a few dollars as a result. Be especially mindful of extra fees that can add up. For example, some venues try to make up for lower rates couples negotiated by tacking on fees for cutting the cake or other minute details. These fees will be in the contract, and it’s up to couples to have them removed before they sign and the contract becomes official. • Remember there are two parties involved in the negotiation process. Vendors are not the only ones who might need to bend a little at the negotiating table. Couples might have to be flexible in order to make their dream weddings a reality. Some vendors charge considerably less during certain times of the year than they do during peak wedding season. If couples are finding it impossible to afford the wedding of their dreams during peak wedding season, they should consider tying the knot during a less popular time of year, when venues and vendors can offer them more competitive rates. Brides- and grooms-to-be cannot expect vendors to bend over backward for couples who aren’t willing to make any concessions themselves, so couples might have to make certain sacrifices at the negotiating table when planning their weddings. Negotiation plays a significant role in wedding planning. Couples who take the process of negotiation seriously often find the best deals without having to make too many concessions.
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Edwardsville Intelligencer • January, 2014 • theintelligenccer.com
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