Day 24
The Big Hurt of My Childhood
On this 24th day of Authenticity, identify your “Big Hurt” from childhood. You might not have one, or you might have so many it’s hard to choose one.
Map out what the hurt was and everyone who was involved in it. Again, err on the side of being thorough, as writing it out will offer a layer of clarity and some healing. If it is responsive to you, read it aloud to yourself, a Connection Buddy, or another supporter.
My Big Hurt from childhood was my mother and father arguing, and one time it was a very bad scene. I was 11 years old.
I chose for My Big Hurt the loss of my dog, who was run over at the same time my sister went off to college. That’s when I started using drugs in a serious way.
I didn’t have a major hurt at that time, but an ongoing hurt, which was the whole family ignored me. My sisters got attention, but I was on my own. That was the Big Hurt.
If the hurt is very deep in the brain, be sure that you do some Anger Cycles as they balance anger and go deep. Stay with expressing anger until it turns into gratitude. Think of it as an emotional refresh!
The Anger Cycle
What: The Be Positive Tool without sadness, fear, and guilt
Why: It heals deep hurts with less risk of stress overload.
How: Stay in anger until it turns into gratitude. Keep the positive flow of feelings (grateful, happy, secure, and proud) on the same topic.
Example of an Anger Cycle
The situation is…my mother died of cancer when I was 12, and I was left alone with her when she passed away. My father was nowhere to be found, and my grandmother later wanted me to comfort her. She didn’t even think about comforting me. What I’m most stressed about is…They deserted me. I feel angry that…they deserted me. I can’t stand it that…they deserted me. I HATE it that…they deserted me. I HATE IT…that they deserted me. I really HATE IT that…they deserted me. I really, really HATE IT that…they deserted me. I HATE it that…they deserted me!!! I am furious that…THEY DIDN’T GIVE A #&%$!! I am…angry that I was SO ALONE…I HATE IT THAT…they were TERRIBLE to me. I hate it! I HATE IT! I really, really HATE IT!!!! I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT…Oh …it shifted. I feel grateful that…I was so strong. I feel happy that…I became so determined. I feel secure that…I can deal with anything. I feel proud that…I didn’t give up. I expect myself to do the best I can to…do more Anger Cycles. The positive, powerful thought…I need to do that. The essential pain is…I am alone. Nobody can do it for me. My earned reward is…Sanctuary, peace, and power from within. Okay, now I feel a surge of joy. Tingles. I spiraled up. Collect a Joy Point.