Day 27
Releasing the Past: The Healthy Boundaries Tool
On this 27th day of Authenticity, let’s separate from the past. We are attached to old beliefs and responses, so taking this step to release the past is important.
The skill for today centers on the Healthy Boundaries Tool (also called the Separation Tool). The tool drives a wedge between two things. Create the responses, then repeat the statement until you feel your body relax and the words ring true.
The Healthy Boundaries Tool
Just because X, doesn’t mean Y. (state in clusters of 5, as many times as needed)
What follow are some common examples. Use one of them or construct another that gives you the safety that you need.
I had so many judgments about my mother. I spent most of my adulthood blaming her for my problems and seeing her as all bad. Just because I wasn’t close to my mother in the past, doesn’t mean I can’t be close to her now.
My childhood was marked by criticism about my body as if my relatives (particularly my grandmother and my dad) thought they owned my body and could make any statement about it they wanted. Just because my father expects my body to be perfect, doesn’t mean I have to expect my body to be perfect.
Due to the drinking that went on in those years, I never knew what to expect. Just because my childhood was chaotic, doesn’t mean I have to live in chaos now.
I grew up in a family that was critical of anyone who was not exactly like them. Most conversations were about finding fault with other people and making our family out as perfect. Just because my parents judged people, doesn’t mean I have to judge people.
Separate from your childhood
■ Just because my childhood was , doesn’t mean that my adulthood .
■ Just because during my childhood my parents , doesn’t mean that now I have to .
Separate from others’ expectations and thoughts
■ Just because they expect me to , doesn’t mean that I will .
■ Just because they think I am , doesn’t mean that I think I am .
Separate from others’ feelings
■ Just because they feel , doesn’t mean that I have to feel
Separate from others’ actions
■ Just because they do this , doesn’t mean that I have to do this
Separate from the past
■ Just because I used to do this , doesn’t mean that I have to do this now .
Choose one of the above statements and use it to create your Healthy Boundaries Tool to separate from your childhood.
The Healthy Boundaries Tool
Did I break this circuit? YES ALMOST NOT YET
Just because , doesn’t mean .
The number of times I repeated this: 5 10 15 20 25
My most important learning from this activity:
Day 27 Activities
■ Spiral Up – I spiraled up 10 times.
■ Learn – I used the Healthy Boundaries Tool to release the past.
■ Connection – I made one or more Connections.
■ Reward – I identified why I did these activities: Sanctuary Authenticity Vibrancy Integrity Intimacy Spirituality Freedom
Goals Met: 1 2 3 4
Well done! Collect a Joy Point!
Day 27: Releasing the Past: The Healthy Boundaries Tool