Emphasis On Moms August 2011 by Carie Trost

Emphasis On Moms ~ August 2011

In This Issue: Home Impressions: Do As I Say Heartstrings: Negative Tunnel Vision Memory Lane: Goodbye Breakfast

Be kind. It is hardly ever the wrong thing to do. ~ Author Unknown

Mom Minute: What If For Today I Didn’t Complain? Nurture Your Soul: One Petaled Flower Timeout: Trust in Discipline Treasure Box: 2 Chronicles 26:5b All About Relationships: Provoke One Another

Make sure to visit our website! http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com and blog http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com

Between You and Me ~

Life is full of seasons and changes. Every parent knows that. Our children make us so aware of the passing of time and how – much as you try – things never stay the same. I have been very contemplative this past year and with much thought – have decided to step down from Emphasis On Moms. I’ve been doing “Emphasis” for 14 years. 14!! I am so blessed – it is a gift that God has given me…this ministry. You are a gift. It is not easy at all for me to tell you that I will no longer continue with it. Yet, I know it is the right decision. I have two girls who are entering Jr. high and high school. Their time with me and in my home is getting shorter and shorter. I can feel it is as surely as I breathe. And with their ever-increasing social calendar – I’m in my car more than I’m home these days.  They are my priority. I do plan to continue my blog and to continue writing. For those of you who may not be aware, I blog almost every other day. I do hope you will stop by often – say hello and give me a virtual hug. For I will miss you each. I plan to pursue more freelance writing as well. So as you can see, I will still be around, just in a different context. 3

In next month’s issue, I’ll let you know what the future of Emphasis On Moms will look like – but I am going to “hang out” with you for just a couple more months and leave after the October newsletter issue comes out. I have given you my heart all of these years and I’ve loved doing it. You have blessed me so much. I will continue to give you my heart on my blog and through whatever other writing opportunities that God brings my way. Please don’t be a stranger. Please keep in touch. In fact, write me often. I’d love to walk through life with you. You can email me anytime at madetomom@yahoo.com. Thank you for having the desire to be a Godly mom, wife, and woman.

~ Dionna Sanchez

Home Impressions

I’m the baby of my family. My sisters are a few years older than me and less than a year apart. When we were little, I was left out of a lot of things…but still witnessed many things. Like when one pushed the other and broke a window. When someone took the farm truck (before she had a driver’s license) and got stuck in a field road. When they had friends at the house even though our parents had said no visitors. When chores didn’t get done. The list goes on. They knew lots of things I did wrong, too. To tattle or not to tattle. That was the question. I’ve heard most little sisters tattle a lot. I’m sure I did sometimes, but it wasn’t often. Not because I held myself to a higher standard. I didn’t tattle because…I got bribes. Candy bars were most common. Every now and then a dollar was involved, but I was satisfied with candy bars.

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The funny thing is…most the things I received bribes over things my parents found out anyway. When there’s a broken window or a truck out of place, it doesn’t take long to discover. What role models I had! Fast forward a generation. I don’t think I’ve ever told my daughters “do what I say, not what I do,” but I know there are many things I’ve done that have contradicted what I’ve said. They’re wonderful young women – despite our limited parenting – but there have been times I’ve thought, “Of all things, did they have to pick up that from me?!” We’re all going to live some contradictions. Some we don’t realize, but what do we do with the contradictions we notice? What hypocrisies annoy or pain you in others? What contradictions are in your own life? When you sew, everything needs to line up in order to get a well-fitted garment. Pin a safety on your shirt along one of the seams, preferably where you’ll notice it. Let it serve as a challenge to be consistent through the day. Match up the seams of your life. No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth over a hole in an old coat. Otherwise, the patch will shrink and pull away—the new patch will pull away from the old coat. Then the hole will be worse. Mark 2:21

Susan is the author of two women’s Bible studies, Pure Purpose and Pure Emotion, and is passionate about pouring into women through writing, speaking, and training. Download study samples and get to know Susan better at http://purepurposebook.wordpress.com/

Nurture Your Soul

One-Petaled Flower â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sarah Markley

Naomi picked a tiny white flower for me yesterday from our yard. When she picked it, her unskilled fingers grabbed it so three of the five petals were lost. By the time it made it to my open palm, only one white petal remained. One little white petal fastened to the yellow center with four open spaces, their petals lost between the planter and the pavement.

She set the injured flower in my hand and I made sure to thank her with enthusiasm. I put it behind my ear and she grinned at me. Because as her mama, I love anything she gives me. I love the whole flowers as much as the injured ones. I love the ones that seem destroyed as much as the healthy ones.

I love them because I love her. And I love her heart. I love that her first thought when she saw the flower was to pick it to give to me. Even if it only had one petal, she was not embarrassed. Not at all. In fact, she was proud of her treasure and willing to entrust her treasure to me. A one petaled flower was the best she could do.

wonder how often I don’t give God my treasures: my sickly, one petaled flowers that I am embarrassed of. He’s gifted me to do things for Him, and I try to give back but I’m often too critical of my own work. I feel like it isn’t enough. If I’m not happy with my injured flower, certainly it can’t be worthy of an Almighty Creator.

But with the openness of my little girl who marches right up to me and places a tiny, beautiful one-petalled flower in her mama’s palm, I should do the same with Him. My first instinct should be to give him all my injured things, my insignificant flowers; to place them in His hand, knowing how much He loves me. And He loves me not for the beauty of my flower, but for me alone. Sarah Markley is a freelance writer and a stay at home mom. She lives in Southern California with her husband, Chad and her daughters Hope and Naomi. She blogs daily about faith, marriage and mothering at http://www.sarahmarkley.com.

Originally published at www.sarahmarkley.com in January 2009.

MEMORY LANE The Goodbye Breakfast ~ By Dionna Sanchez

A week after my grandpa turned 90 years old, he was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. He was given one month to live at the most – possibly only a week or two. As you can imagine, our family rallied quickly and flew to his side. We all wanted the chance to be able to see him before he passed away. For me, I drove 9 hrs with my children to get to see him. When I arrived, I found a flurry of activity and a lot of family around. Initially, I was disappointed because it didn’t look like I’d get any alone time with him or have the opportunity for some closure that I wanted to have. That is, until my cousin came up with a great idea. She must have been feeling the same way as she too, flew home.

She came up with the idea for each of the grandkids to have a breakfast alone with my grandpa.

I anxiously awaited my day for my breakfast time. I took my girls and we headed over. It was so nice to have his sole attention and to be able to ask him questions, focus on him, and listen to him tell stories. He prayed, and we even did a devotion together. What a special, special time. I was able to say what was on my heart and give him a long-lasting hug. I’ll never forget it. We were given a gift – my family. For many people don’t have the opportunity to know when a loved one will pass away. For me, I will always look at the passing of my grandpa as hard, but also as a special present from God for giving me a chance to know I need to get one last picture, one last hug, and one last time of saying “I love you. You are dear to my heart and this is what you mean to me.” Knowing all that, I may not have been able to do it privately if it weren’t for our special breakfast.

If you have a loved one who is declining in health and you know their time is short, perhaps you might want to consider implementing something like our breakfasts. Especially if a lot of family is around vying to be with that person – a special designated time might eliminate any rivalry or upset feelings. You could do a special breakfast, lunch, or something else if that works for your family. But be considerate of each other’s feelings and the need each one has to be able to personally connect with the ailing person during this time.

I will never ever forget my special morning with my grandpa. I will carry it with me always and be forever grateful and thankful for those few hours I was given to soak in memories of my grandpa.

~ Dionna Sanchez is Founder of EmphasisOnMoms.com and she also freelance writes. Visit her blog at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com

Why is it we ladies can be beautiful all over, yet when we gaze into the mirror our eyes channel directly to the “wings” under our arms, or the “orange peel” thighs, or any host of bodily imperfections that capture our negative tunnel vision? We can be hard on ourselves. You know what? We can be hard on our spouses, too. Our negative tunnel vision can put some strain on the heartstrings.

Negative Tunnel Visions By Angie Maldonado

My poor guy can measure practically perfect in every other way, but for some reason, if there’s one annoyance that has caught my attention, it’s like a big black sheet has draped over everything positive and all I see is the glaring white “X” across his flaw. The flaw is then how I begin to filter my thoughts about him, which greatly impacts all our interactions. If we let this negativity fester without addressing it, we can really damage our relationship with our spouse. However, it’s the “how” in addressing flaws in others that has the potential of the most damage. Of course we want to avoid hurtful explosions, disregarding the issue, or embarrassing our spouse by telling others.

Heartstrings

There are some productive steps that a wife after God’s heart should consider to overcome her negative tunnel vision: ~ Begin with prayer. Take your thoughts, annoyances, negativity – all of it – to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him to give you His eyes in seeing the situation. Ask Him to prepare your words and your

spouse’s heart. Ask for His guidance. He may not want you to address it right away, if He would like to do some work first. But, set your heart right by humbly submitting the issue at hand to the Lord • ~Examine yourself. This, too, can be a prayerful act. Ask yourself why this flaw in your husband has become so bothersome to you. Consider if there is other stress in your life that is exacerbating something that may otherwise be no big deal. Where has the flaw originated? What you want to avoid is putting blame on your spouse for something that’s actually going on in you. • ~If it is a genuine issue that the Lord has shown you needs to be addressed, be nice and be merciful. Remember that we are ALL flawed individuals. Approach the conversation with a heart that wants to improve a valuable relationship, not with an aggression that wants revenge. The Lord wants us to have positive tunnel vision. In fact, He exhorts us to do this very thing in Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything praiseworthy—think about such things.” It doesn’t mean that “less than praiseworthy” will never grace our vision. It means, however, that when our focus opposes “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy,” we need to make efforts to get realigned in our relationships. ~ Angie Maldonado is a home schooling mom of two girls (ages 7 and 9) and an Army wife. Her first book, Let Your Light Shine, is now available through a division of Lifeway, www.crossbooks.com, at her website, www.letyourlightshineam.com, or through your favorite online book retailer.

If we let negativity fester, it can damage our relationship with our spouse

Grace Fox, author of several books including, "10-Minute Time Outs for Moms," has recently released a new small group resource titled, "Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman-toWoman Conversation." Produced in partnership with Stonecroft Ministries, it includes a teaching DVD and participant's guide. It's available online, through

https://www.winepressbooks.com/product.asp?pid=3217

and on the author's website http://www.gracefox.com/books/moving-from-fear-to-freedom-a-woman-to-woman-conversation-guide/

where group discounts apply.

A Mom Minute

By Dionna Sanchez

What If For Today I Didn’t Complain? We have become a society of complainers. I’m speaking to myself here, too. But I was thinking – what if for one day, I was very intentional about NOT complaining? Would it draw attention to the fact of how often I DO complain on a day-to-day basis? What if for one day….

…..I didn’t complain about the slow driver, the driver who cut me off, or the bad traffic? ….I didn’t complain about what was not picked up by my children at home?

….I didn’t complain about how much work I had to do around the house?

….I didn’t complain about someone letting me down or disappointing me?

….I didn’t complain about being tired?

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….I didn’t complain about how long I had to wait in a line at the store, for my child to get out of school, or for my food at a restaurant?

….I didn’t complain about the government?

….I didn’t complain about the medical bill I got in the mail?

…I didn’t complain about the price of gas?

….I didn’t complain about how much homework my children have?

….I didn’t complain about my weight?

We complain about so much. No wonder we so often feel depressed, “less than,” and “blue!” We do it to ourselves.

What if we were INTENTIONAL about having a heart of gratitude and thanks? Or at least an attitude of contentment knowing that life is unfair. Knowing that we have to have patience. Knowing that there will be people and situations that we will need to take into prayer.

But if we ask God to help us deal with things that come our way and into our life DAILY that rub us the wrong way; He will give us the opportunity to choose a right heart. And it will feel good to know that we COULD have been irritated, grumpy , and complained about things but instead chose to let things go and let God rule the moment.

One day. Try it for just one day.

And see how it feels.

Social Graces

Bringing Up Boys Parenting boys in today's society is not for the faint at heart. Prevailing attitudes of feminism and gender neutrality are encountered daily. Use these as teachable moments for your sons. Show, by example, the importance of cherishing special ladies in their lives and what it looks like in daily life. Teach young boys how to respect young ladies and interact with them in engaging ways to build relationships. Gender differences should not be shameful, but celebrated, in that God made boys and girls differently and with the intention of complimenting each other. Instruct in chivalry and keep the fairy tale alive...our daughters still want to find their Prince Charming! ~ Edie Bunch

Provoke One

All About Relationships

Another By Victoria B. Jenkins And let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24, NRSV)  Giving consideration in this way doesn't merely suggest that we brainstorm new ways to encourage people, the deeper meaning is to perceive distinctly, to discern clearly how to provoke one another. You really have to know someone's heart and gifts in order to perceive and discern precisely how to best encourage them in their walk.  While that makes it seem that we are quite limited in our ability to inspire, it is really quite the opposite. Our Father knows us each so well that He has numbered each and every hair on our head!   Seek His wisdom and direction and He will help you push all the right buttons in order to provoke another to love and good deeds. You might not always know just what those buttons are, but the Lord won't let you miss them when you allow Him to do the pushing. Just keep in mind, sometimes you'll be the one who is encouraged by another to do what is right and good. You use steel to sharpen steel, and one friend sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17, MSG)

Let's dig further into Hebrews 10:24, taking a closer look at the word "provoke".  Several translations have varying words in its place and this alone sheds some light on the deeper meaning implied. Really reflect on the implication of some of the various translations. • spur (NIV) • stimulate (NASB) • motivate (NLT) • stir (ESV) • encourage (MSG) When I looked in the Greek text for the original word used and its meaning, I learned that this is the sole scripture in all of the Bible that used this connotation. The word was "paroxusmos", which translates to "contention", meaning a sharpening of the feeling or action, an incitement, and it was only used in this one verse.  Doesn't that just speak volumes about the importance placed on this sharpening of one another? It screams of the value in learning that no man is an island and that we all have self-righteous tendencies when left unchecked by other Christ-biased people.  It's easier said than done, understood than executed, and better to give than to receive; but this spurring is a real and necessary part of our Christian lives. We need to seek the Lord's help in embracing and relaying it as such. Whether homeschooling, housewifing, or hiding from the laundry heap, Victoria Jenkins is grateful to be a continual work of progress in God's hands. You can join Victoria each Friday as she shares her heart for Biblical Friendship. {http://biblicalfriendship.com} 18

Treasure Box And as long as the king [Uzziah] sought guidance from the Lord, God gave him success. 2 Chronicles 26:5b It can be a real struggle at times to know what the will of God is for our life. Making the “right” choice can be difficult, but I believe that if our heart is surrendered to the Lord, and our desire is to cooperate with Him as He accomplishes His will in us and through us…we will end up successful—exactly where and who He intends for us to be. Even more important than the decisions we make, is who or what did we seek to make them? Who or what guided our steps? Is it the Lord? Or is it logic, or money, or another person, or simply our own desire? If we aren’t trusting God, He owes us nothing. But if we are…He can’t fail us or forsake us. It just isn’t in His nature. ~ Cheryl Heindel 19

Trust In Discipline ~ By Jenn Whitmer

Timeout

Trusting God is the hallmark of faith—believing Him when you cannot see how He’s going to work things out. As our children grow and mature, we want them to have this faith in God. The best way to practice that faith is to trust us as parents. That will give our children a foundation for trusting Him. The Position God is creator and ultimate authority. God created us to worship Him; we are His. The Bible uses the analogy of a potter and clay; “Does the pot say to the potter, ‘Why did you make me this way?’” As ultimate authority, God gives others the right to rule in His name. Over children, it’s parents. We have been given the position to lovingly protect our children as authority over them. The bible uses the language of a shield to describe God’s authority and protection over us. I use the picture of an umbrella when I describe authority to my children. The umbrella of authority protects the one under the umbrella.

Everyone sticks their hands out occasionally, but we want to teach our children that we are that umbrella, given to them by God, as of protection over them. The Language I use questions to remind my children to trust me and why they should. “Who created you?” “God.” “Does He love you?” “Yes” “Do I love you?” “Yes.” “Who put me in charge of you?” “God.” “Trust that I want what’s best for you.” With older children, you will have to explain your reasoning more than with younger children to continue to build trust with them. They may not agree with your reasoning, but if they can hear you articulate why you make a decision, they can trust that you’re thinking about them and for their good. It also helps them reason through their own decisions as they mature. Using these questions in the midst of strife can greatly lower the tension level and guide children into obedience. Much disobedience occurs because the child thinks they know better than the parent. Guiding them to trust guides them to the wise choice of obedience. God will always come through. He is perfectly faithful. What a gift to give our children this faith practice in our discipline techniques.

Jenn Whitmer lives and laughs with her husband, two sons, and 2 daughters in St. Louis, Missouri. Send Email Jennifer at jenniferwhitmer@gmail.com with any thoughts or questions.

Potpourri

My neighbor recently told me this tidbit and I would not have believed her had I not tried it myself (with success). To keep your vegetables more crisp in the refrigerator, place crumpled up sheets of newspaper inside the compartments. Smooth the crumpled sheets out a bit and then lay the vegetables on top (inside their bags). It's an easy fix to soggy veggies!

~ Amy McCormick

Does Emphasis encourage your heart?? Take a minute to let Dionna know, or support the ministry through prayer or a donation. Visit http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com or email at madetomom@yahoo.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The appearance of advertising in Emphasis should not be interpreted as an endorsement of the service, product, business, or program being advertised. Emphasis On Moms takes no responsibility for claims or representations made in any ads. Emphasis On Moms is for your information and entertainment purposes only. In no event shall Dionna Sanchez be liable for any damages whatsoever resulting from any action arising in connection with the use of this information or its publication, including any action for infringement of copyright or defamation. ~~~~~~~~~~ EMPHASIS ON MOMS is here for you as a ministry to encourage your heart. It comes from Dionna's heart and devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you have a prayer request or would like to find out more how you can ask Jesus into your heart to become a part of your life; email me Dionna at madetomom@yahoo.com.