Emphasis On Moms ~ March 2011 by Carie Trost

Emphasis

On Moms

You are a Mom ~ You are a Wife ~ You are a Lady ~ ~ Embrace who God created you to be ~

Emphasis On Moms is focused on giving moms words of encouragement and support. Our goal is to bring you hope and help for your life as parents, individual women, and wives. We know that your family means everything to you. Yet in our stressed, busy, overwhelmed world a mom can struggle with low self esteem, finding time for her marriage relationship, maintaining family values, and just being a positive parent. Emphasis On Moms is here to help you feel good about who you are, while bringing inspiration and perspective to your heart through our resources, blog, and parenting tips. You put everything you are into caring for your family - now its time to be lavished with some love, honesty and a reminder that you're not alone.

Emphasis On Moms March 2011 Issue Issn: 1529~269X

Inside: Impact: Inspirational Quote Home Impressions: Whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Your Mama? Heartstrings: Happy Anniversary...With Love! Memory Lane: You Choose A Mom Minute: We Only Have Today Applause! (Lady of the Mont): Ivy Torres Nurture Your Soul: Where Is Your Faith? Potpourri: Idea Sparkers For Your Home Timeout: Kind In the Chaos Treasure Box: Matthew 5:4 All About Relationships: Why Me? Social Graces: E-Mail Etiquette

Between You and Me ~ Warm hugs, my sweet friends! How are you this month? It seems like a lot of people I know are going through some really tough times right now. Whether it’s illness, marital, financial, or parental—people are in need of a lot of hope and encouragement. Are you one of them? I dearly hope not, but if you are—would you take a minute to send me an email so that I might lift you up in prayer? I think we need each other more than ever. I pray that I can be there for each one of you. That God speaks to me and somehow uses the words that my writers and I pen, to speak to each of you somewhere right where you are in life at this moment. In return, would you take a minute to pray for each one of us, as well? We pour ourselves out to you, but we still have a lot of refilling that needs to be done so we can keep coming to you so transparently each month. Wherever you are in life, please do know that your hurts and cares matter. That you are valuable and that you have a special gift to give. I’m so thankful we’re in this life together. Keeping It Real,

Dionna Sanchez madetomom@yahoo.com 4

Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it with use. ~ Ruth Gordon

Where Is Your Faith?

Where is your faith? Right now. Where is it? Do you trust that the trial you are walking, crawling, dragging, skinning your knees on the ground through is a result of God loving you and wanting your transformation? Do you believe that not being able to pay your mortgage, not being able to give your children what you want to give them, having to decide which bills are the most important to pay is actually part of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s grand idea for your life? Where is your faith? Do you pray knowing God will hear you, God will think your words are important, God will actually stop, bend and watch your agony as you pray. Have you stopped praying altogether?

Do you have faith that your children will be protected, not knowing the future is actually better, and that disappointment and pain are necessary parts of the Journey. Do you want to control? When your children will not give you a moment to rest, and you don‘t understand why everything you try seems to end in failure…when your husband is here but absent, when your relationships are broken…where is your faith? Where is my faith? My faith is tiny. Minuscule. So small at times I can‘t see past the hurtful word, the tired heart and the blistered hands. I want to control. I want to lock the door so my children never leave and get hurt in the world. I want to stop praying. I have. I want to let broken relationships stay broken. I really want to have faith… But, my faith is in a God who is big enough to make up the difference. My faith is in Him who has given me life, and food on my table. My faith is in Him, even when I worry about my daughters and the mortgage. My faith is in Christ when I don‘t know the future and I don‘t even know the next hour. My faith is in Him when I am disappointed, crushed and trampled. I have to trust that He heals all that has been broken in me and around me. My faith sometimes stands still. But most of the time it grows. Knee-scrapingly slow, but still grows. By inches. By millimeters.

Do you have faith today? ~ Sarah Markley is a freelance writer and a stay at home mom. She lives in Southern California with her husband, Chad and her daughters Hope and Naomi. She blogs daily about faith, marriage and mothering at www.sarahmarkley.com. “Originally published at www.sarahmarkley.com in May 2009” 7

Kind In the Chaos ~ By Jenn Whitmer Our words have great power, but I believe even more potent than our vocabulary is the tone and quality with which we speak the words. We’ve all had experiences when phrases escape our lips and they sound vastly different than what we intended. It happens with everyone: customer service employees, our friends, our spouse, and our children. This area of parenting is so simple; nevertheless, it proves to be incredibly challenging. It’s amazing to me how a kind word, even when I want to be incredibly sarcastic, can turn the hearts of my children. Unfortunately, the reverse is true: an angry statement can harden their hearts just as quickly. I don’t know why this always surprises me scripture clearly teaches this principle. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Later in that chapter verse 18 tells us “the slow to anger calm a dispute.” When you are in the midst of dirty laundry, whiny kids, and a burnt supper your frustration boils over into the harsh words. (I’m not the only one, right?) The frustration is not wrong or inappropriate, but we do not have to live as a slave to our emotions. We can, by the grace of God, avoid sinning in our anger. But, in the middle of the chaos, how? Choosing kindness in the moment actually begins before the moment. The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and selfcontrol. If you find yourself consistently struggling with these character qualities, ask the Holy Spirit to fill you. Repent, ask forgiveness and allow God to work in your heart. In the frenetic, frantic moment, here are some strategies that have worked in my life.

Laugh. Yep, just giggle a little. You will feel foolish at first, but think of this say-

ing, “Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.” It really does work wonders. 8

Breathe. Again, simple, but often when we are most frustrated, our breathing has been very shallow and our brain is literally low on oxygen. A good deep breath can restore that oxygen and give you a moment to collect yourself.

Sing. Anything will do. Billy Boy, Blessed Be Your Name, Bryan Adams, Bob Dillon. Often if your kids no the song, they’ll join in.

Call. As gently as you woke them when they were babies, say their name or your nickname for them. There is a heart-turning power in lovingly calling your children by their names.

Empathize. Remember the confusion of childhood for a brief moment, and put yourself in their shoes. They just want to play or express how they feel. Our job is to teach them how to walk in the freedom of obedience.

Pause. Even when the request is crazy, just pause. Repeat the question or your response to yourself 3 times. Just that pause can change your tone.

Touch. A hug or hair tousle can bring you closer and calm your heart before

you speak. Especially for the child whose love language is physical touch. It’s also hard to yell when your are so close to someone that you’re touching.

Leave. At other times, leaving the room and then returning before you speak can do wonders for your tone of voice. This also works well if you or your child is an internal processor and needs a moment to gather your thoughts. Choosing to be kind in our words brings out amazing things in our children. Make an effort this month to practice a tone of voice with your kids that is gentle and compassionate. I think you will be amazed at the results. ~ Jenn Whitmer lives and laughs with her husband, two sons, and 2

daughters in St. Louis, Missouri. Send Email Jennifer at jenniferwhitmer@gmail.com with any thoughts or questions.

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E-Mail Etiquette

Have you ever sent a time-sensitive email and then wondered for days if the person got the message, especially if a new email address was used? This simple offense can be so frustrating! It is important to respond to emails in a timely manner, even with only a few simple words in reply. ~ Edie Bunch

Who’s Your Mama?

I found a goofy card to send to my oldest daughter, who is studying in London this semester. We live in a small town “in the middle of nowhere” – a town which most young adults want to escape at the earliest opportunity, so I chose a card personalized with our small town’s name. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to receive it! I wrote a short note and signed, “Love,….” I paused. I often have to remind myself whether I’m signing “Susan” or “Mom,” depending on the recipient. I signed “Mom” with my usual smiley face for the “O” and paused again. After being a mom for nineteen years, how can I still be caught off guard when the word “mom” signed on a card isn’t from my own mom? You’d think I’d be used to being a mom by now! The word “Mom” is full of significance… I remember staring intently into my daughters’ eyes as they tried to form the sounds for the first times. I remember the babbling “mamamamamamamamama” – more for the girls to hear their own voices than to get my attention. I remember the scream “MAMA!,” packed with immediate need for a hug or bandage. Or, the drawn-out whine: “Moooooom!” when life wasn’t going their way, and I was the instigator of all pain and discipline. I still have the first few scrawled, larger-than-life, letters of my name from each daughter. 12

And there are tough memories, too - One of the girls jumping onto my lap

with a big “I love you, Mom” and a hug while I was talking with a friend who was struggling with infertility. And standing over the hospital bed of my friend’s 15-month-old daughter, who would never say “Mama” again. Being a mom is tough…and wonderful…and exhausting…and beautiful.

I “heard” my name in a new way a couple weeks ago. My youngest daughter was sick. She couldn’t call out for me, so I put her phone beside her in bed. I heard my phone chime and opened it to find a simple message: Mom… Those three small letters were powerful enough to stop what I was doing and immediately check to see what was needed. Three small letters, strung together and infused with overflowing significance. What do the three small letters strung together mean to you? Write Mom all the way down the left side of a piece of paper. Beside each “mom,” write a word or phrase that expresses a variety of your “mom experiences.” They might not all be pleasant, but I pray an underlying joy connects all the experiences together. Each time you hear, say, read, or remember “Mom,” may you be encouraged…even through the discouragement of moments and seasons. Children, come and listen to me. I will teach you to worship the Lord. Psalm 34:1

~ Susan Lawrence is passionate about connecting individuals and teams of people in purposeful and healthy ways. Whether writing, speaking or consulting, I strive to encourage and equip women to meet the others around them while balancing their own needs. We all need support and encouragement! My first Bible Study, Pure Purpose, released Spring 2010. http://purepurposebook.wordpress.com/ 13

We Only Have Today ~ By Dionna Sanchez

you could do it all over again – would you? Would you choose the same path? The same man? The same career or lack of it? Do you sometimes feel as if life chose you instead of the other way around? Things happen. No one‘s life goes exactly as they dreamt or planned it would go. I‘m sure those who actually do sail down the path they dreamed of, would argue that life is not perfect and they‘ve had many detours, unplanned events, and disappointments along the way. Maybe even their chosen life hasn‘t fulfilled the expectations they‘d grown inside of their hearts. What if you could go back? What if you could go back to that crucial juncture in time when you made that life-changing decision….and make a different one? I was thinking about that very question recently when I was watching ―Seventeen… Again‖ with my girls.

A lot of times we live our lives with regrets. We look at the past as if our options could have been better, richer, and more fulfilling. When in reality – they may just have been simply different. Sometimes we just forget what it is we want. We forget what it is we have. And we fail 14

to see the blessings and joys that exist right in front of us.

we had made different choices in life, some of them might have been better for us. But we still probably would have struggled. We still would have had hard things to deal with. Tough obstacles and overwhelming hurts. That‘s what life is. We live, we breathe, we love, we fail, we hurt, and we laugh. Ups and downs. We are where we are for a reason. No amount of looking back will change where we currently are in life. No amount of reliving the past, or hoping we‘d done things differently will change today. Only we can change today and make it better. Only we can be better. Will we? Will we grasp onto what we have and make the most of it? Will we flourish? We only have today. Let’s make it count for something.

~ Dionna Sanchez is the Founder of the EmphasisOnMoms.com Ministry. She blogs her faith at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com and freelance writes from her home in Idaho.

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Heartstrings “Happy Anniversry...With Love! By Angie Maldonado

March is my anniversary month. As I gave some time to planning my own anniversary this year, I wanted to also pass some thoughts and suggestions along to you, to help you celebrate the gift of love God gave you in your spouse. Sometimes we can simply get caught up in the idea that there must be some event to mark another year of marriage with our mate, without giving much thought to what we’re actually celebrating. Let’s face it ladies, we like an excuse for the gifties! But an anniversary is much more than that. Throughout the Old Testament we find the Israelites celebrating and creating spiritual markers to remember joyfully the things the Lord had accomplished in their lives. After their miraculous crossing of the Jordan River on dry ground with the ark of the covenant, God told Joshua to commemorate the event by choosing 12 stones representing the 12 tribes that had crossed. After the Lord saved the Jewish race from annihilation, through Queen Esther, they created a celebration called Purim to annually celebrate that deliverance (which incidentally is also celebrated in March). Every year, we celebrate the union and commitment we made, before God and man, to our husbands. I want to encourage you this year to purposefully consider what you’re celebrating. The Lord has given you to one another as helpmeets. He is pleased with the union of man and woman. It was His design and is a beautiful picture of His own love for us. You are celebrating another year of that precious gift from the Lord. Put aside those things that bug you, habits that make him him, and do something meaningful to commemorate your commitment to one another. To paint an accurate picture, there may be some years you’d rather just forget the whole 18

day, feeling like you don’t have much to celebrate in the first place. If that’s the case for you, take heart; the healer of all things wants you to be able to celebrate. As I can testify, God is the renovator of broken relationships and can make a new anniversary for you—one where you can mark the day He healed your marriage. It’s my prayer that your anniversary (and mine) are a blessed reminder this year of the goodness of God and that you find deeper and greater joy in one another than ever before. I’ve included a few fun ideas to help you celebrate the big day. Some I’ve done and some I’ve borrowed from others…enjoy! 

Make a marriage time capsule. Fill a box with mementos, pictures, old letters, etc. from your years together as husband and wife. Decorate the box and present it as a thoughtful gift to your spouse. Doesn’t cost much, but its value is priceless.  Write down 10 things you appreciate about your spouse on 10 separate sticky notes and leave them around the house and in his car or briefcase on the day of your anniversary.  Text your husband flirty messages all day with clues about a special evening you’ve planned for the two of you.  If you are able, take a weekend getaway and show one another you’re thinking of the other person by trying an activity you wouldn’t normally try, but that the other person enjoys.  Write a simple love letter in the drive way with sidewalk chalk as a surprise for when he comes home from work. This is just a small sampling. If you get stuck, hit the internet for some more ideas. Happy Anniversary!

~ Angie Maldonado is a home schooling mom of two girls (ages 7 and 9) and an Army wife. She and her family currently reside in Fort Benning, Georgia. Her greatest goal in life is to leave a remarkable spiritual legacy to her two girls and to see them mature with hearts to serve the Lord. She enjoys crafting, decorating, reading and of course, writing. Angie has experienced the renovating power of the Lord at work in her marriage, and considers it a great blessing to use what she has learned to help build other women in their faith. Her first book, Let Your Light Shine, is now available through www.crossbooks.com or at her website, www.letyourlightshineam.com. 19

“God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4 NLT Mourning is not something we choose to do. We only see mourning as one dimensional—the result of pain; and that is something we do our utmost to avoid. Our heart despairs pain. And yet, the Bible tells us that when we mourn, God blesses us with His comfort. I can actually be comforted by the sweet God of the universe. There is only one catch: I have to endure mourning. Is it worth the tradeoff?

~ Cheryl Heindel 20

Name: Ivy Torres Number of children and ages: one son, thirteen years old City and State (or country): Philadelphia, PA What is your favorite song to belt out in the car? One of my favorite Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts

songs,

What is your favorite low-fat snack? Microwave Popcorn Who is a role model for you --- and why? Dr. Wayne Dyer. He inspires me to be a better, more evolved, enlightened person. Have you discovered something new about yourself lately? Something you like or can do? I can do most if not all I set my mind to do. I just recently moved to the city and there was a time I thought I could never do it. How do you deal with negative thoughts? I become aware of them, question why I am having those thoughts, recognize that it's okay to sometimes have negative thoughts, and then focus on the positive Are you more like Mary or Martha in the Bible? How is this a blessing or a curse for you? I am like Martha, often distracted by the many tasks ahead, but soon find my way back. Are you "up-to-date" with current trends? (twitter, facebook, texting, etc) Yes, however, I prefer not to spend too much time on them, and be more active and productive in other areas of my life. As a parent, what is one thing you think you've done right? I let my son know that parents aren't perfect, we do the best we can. I also encourage him to talk and express himself even if I don't always agree with his view or ways.

Why Me? ~ By Victoria B. Jenkins It’s a question I‘ve asked myself countless times and one I‘ve asked God even more. Perhaps it‘s the very question you‘re asking right now. I don‘t think you have any doubt we need some guidance when it comes to our relationships, but I bet you‘re wondering why I‘m the one to lead the way. I‘m not. Whew, now we can both breathe a little easier. I won‘t pretend to have all the answers if you don‘t look to me to have them…deal? Deal. No, I don‘t know it all, but I know enough. I know enough of the heartache, the frustration, the downright dumped feeling some relationships leave in their wake. I know all about rejection and hard-earned trust issues. I also know about standing strong next to a weakened sister, and lying broken beside a speechless friend. I know how much we long for connections like the latter and how deeply we still hurt from the sting of the former. I know how hard it is to try and trust again, and I know how worthwhile. I know how much you want to have and to be a great friend. After something petty managed to squirm its way into a treasured friendship, I had reached my limit. No more Mrs. Niceguy. I knew God had some ‗splaining to do, so I poured my heart out and asked Him to show me what I could learn 22

from these failures in friendship. That‘s when it became obvious I needed to learn about friendship from a Biblical perspective instead of simply through my circumstances. Over the past couple of years, I‘ve learned so much. Most of all, I‘ve learned we all have a lot to learn about accountability, boundaries, expectations, defining our relationships, and all manner of areas affecting our connections with others. Recently, the Lord began prompting me to share the journey. Inspiration hit for the first time in months and I sat myself down with my favorite study tools spread out around me. I flipped through the little purple notebook I‘d sprinkled with bits on friendship, looking for a good place to begin. Turning from one lined page to the next, I came to that extra little blank sheet they throw at the back of notebooks just to make us wonder. ―Micah 6:8‖ was written, crooked and alone, on the page. I had no idea what the verse was, so I curiously opened three Bibles and read from each translation. Wouldn‘t you know The Message held a message for me, and it is the very foundation on which we‘ll be building better relationships, together: But he‘s already made it plain how to live, what to do, what God is looking for in men and women. It‘s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, And don‘t take yourself too seriously— take God seriously.

~ Whether homeschooling, housewifing, or hiding from the laundry heap, she’s grateful to be a continual work of progress in God’s hands. You can join Victoria each Friday as she shares her heart for Biblical Friendship. {http://biblicalfriendship.com}

You Choose ~ By Dionna Sanchez We went to Disneyworld the Fall of 2009. My youngest daughter was so very excited because the last time we’d gone she was only 1 ½ and she didn’t really remember a thing for herself. As the day approached to leave, her excitement grew and grew. She was so cute. Once we arrived in Florida and were getting ready to head to the park our first day there, I remember Kayla pulling out an envelope. She told me to “pick one.” I had no idea what it was but I obeyed (as any good mother would do!) Out of the envelope, I drew a tiny scrap of paper that said, “choose 1 ride to sit by me.” She had my other daughter and my husband pick papers too. What a creative idea she had! I got to pick whatever ride I wanted to, to be able to get to sit by her. It made that ride and that moment with her extra special. Kayla didn’t remember to have us draw papers everyday, but she did remember most mornings. Sometimes someone could choose a few rides to sit with her, or choose the ride they wanted plus there were many more selections that we just didn’t have time to make. I was so smitten with her creativity and thought that her idea could be applied to many different things. It could be used on a road trip, for example. Someone could get to choose what music was played for a while, or his or her choice of a candy bar at the next gas stop. They could choose where to stop for dinner or what side of the bed they get to sleep in at the motel. This idea can also be used at the local fair or a concert. It can be used by a child or by a parent. What makes it neat, is that it focuses on time spent together and on things that you will already be doing, yet allows someone the freedom to get to navigate how and when those things are done! Give it a try and I think you’ll find your family will have an extra bounce of enthusiasm with this fun little drawing game added to the adventure that you already plan on taking together. Plus, it might even alleviate some battles and sibling rivalry in the process.

~ Dionna Sanchez is Founder of the EmphasisOnMoms.com ministry. She also blogs at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com and freelance writes. 24

Potpourri your Home

~ Idea Sparkers for

We’ve all had times when we try to stave off cravings of foods that are “bad” for us. Some more than others may need to eat more healthy for various reasons. Here are some great tips for better dealing with those food cravings. Increase your intake of fiber, especially in fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains and nuts. Fiber rich foods help you feel full for longer periods of time, causing you to eat less of the foods you shouldn’t. Increase your intake of protein. It has the same effects of fiber. It will also help decrease your sugar cravings. Increase your intake of water. If you are dehydrated, your hunger will increase. In addition, drinking a glass of water before a meal will help you eat less at mealtime. Eat breakfast. If you skip the meal, it will decrease your blood sugar, causing you to crave more food throughout the day. Substitute green tea for coffee. Green tea has been proven to suppress your appetite. Plus it is naturally a fat-burner. Decrease your intake of salty foods. Not only does salt increase cravings, but it causes “water weight.” Try to wait out cravings. Oftentimes, distraction and keeping yourself busy will work well. If you are still hungry after 30 minutes of activity, then it was probably not a craving and you should eat. Exercise! Exercise will help increase the hormones which tell you that you are full. Believe it or not, it is better to allow yourself to cheat every now and then. As long as it isn’t too often, “caving to a craving” is a good idea. Depriving yourself of all treats will only result in overeating in the long run. ~ Amy McCormick 25

Dionna Sanchez is Founder & Editor of Emphasis On Moms. She loves to write and minister to women after her first love : raising her children. madetomom@yahoo.com

Angie Maldonado writes the Hearstsrings column. She is a home schooling mom of two girls in Georgia.. She just published her first book dedicated to helping women let their lights shine for Jesus.

Jennifer Whitmer writes our Timeout column. She is an accomplished music teacher, full-time mother of three and part time makeup artist. jenniferwhitmer@gmail.com

Susan Lawrence is our Home Impressions Columnist. Her first Bible Study released in Spring 2001. Whether writing, speaking, or consulting, Susan strives to encourage and equip women.

Sarah Markley writes our Nurture Your Soul column. She is a freelance writer and a stay at home mom. Sarah blogs daily about faith, marriage and mothering at SarahMarkley.com.

Edie Bunch submits our Social Graces tips. She is a military wife and registered pharmacist who has chosen to stay at home with her children.

Amy McCormick submits our “Potpourri” tips. She is a single mom and a special education teacher. She aspires to be a writer and has penned a children’s book and some single parenting literature.

Cheryl Heindel writes our Treasure Box devotionals. She lives in Idaho and is active in her church and prison ministry with her husband, Bob.

Victoria B. Jenkins is grateful to be a continual work of progress in God's hands. You can join Victoria each Friday as she shares her heart for Biblical Friendship. {http://biblicalfriendship.com.}

There are people that God places in our life through different means and you are one of those people. Without even knowing it you

Does Emphasis On Moms minister to you? Let Dionna know. Send your comments to: madetomom@yahoo.com

have deeply affected my life . Keep on keeping on. Don't ever doubt that what you are doing isn't affecting others. I for one can say proudly that you have positively influenced my life.

Bright Blessings, Paulette Boone

Emphasis

On Moms 29

Does Emphasis encourage your heart?? Take a minute to let Dionna know, or support the ministry through prayer or a donation. Visit http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com or email at mailto:madetomom@yahoo.com ~~~~~~~~~~ The appearance of advertising in Emphasis should not be interpreted as an endorsement of the service, product, business, or program being advertised. Emphasis On Moms takes no responsibility for claims or representations made in any ads. Emphasis On Moms is for informational purposes only and is a notfor-profit publication. In no event shall Dionna Sanchez be liable for any damages whatsoever resulting from any action arising in connection with the use of this information or its publication, including any action for infringement of copyright or defamation. ~~~~~~~~~~ No articles may be used without the author’s consent. ~~~~~~~~~~ EMPHASIS ON MOMS is here for you as a ministry to encourage your heart. It comes from Dionna's heart and devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you have a prayer request or would like to find out more how you can ask Jesus into your heart to become a part of your life; email at madetomom@yahoo.com.

Do you need help? Social networking, blogging, freelance writing, editing, speech writing? Ask Dionna to give you a hand! If you’re interested in hiring her—email at mailto:madetomom@yahoo.com.