Emphasis On Moms October 2011 by Carie Trost

Emphasis On Moms ~ October 2011

In This Issue: Home Impressions: Crying Over Spilled Milk

Heartstrings: For the Purpose of Holiness Memory Lane: Making The Drive To

Life is what you make it. Take every opportunity to support someone. You will never know when a person will need to borrow your ears to hear, or your heart to listen. ~ Ann Henry

School Fun Mom Minute: Never Settle Nurture Your Soul: Moving Mt. Everest Timeout: Preparing To Change Treasure Box: Job 9:32-35 All About Relationships: The Best Revenge

The Blog: http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com

Between You and Me ~

Well, ladies. Here we are. My last issue as your Founder and Editor.

I don’t even know where to begin or what to say. I’ve watched my children grow up along with this ministry. And I’m so thankful and blessed that God gave me this gift of being able to navigate our roles as Christian parents together. It’s been such a joy and delight.

I do hope you won’t be strangers. Please visit me often at my blog – “Beauty In the Storm” (http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com) I pray that you will continue to seek out encouragement and wisdom as you love on your family. Embrace who God has created you to be and what He has given you. It is such a gift.

I love you so very much. ~ Dionna Sanchez(madetomom@yahoo.com)

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Carie Rachele Trost. Dionna and I have been friends since high school and youth group days. It is my honored privilege to take on the baton of running her well developed and founded on Jesus website, and finish the race with as much strength and wisdom from God as possible. I can only hope and pray that you will want to keep running with me whether you are a contributing writer or faithful reader!! My heart is bursting with such joy at all the amazing possibilities for the future of this ministry. To begin with, and its already going to be tough for some, but we are renaming the website with the name "STEPPING STONES XO". The website will continue to keep its sub name of "Emphasis on Moms" and will continue to be an outreach to mothers as well as women of all ages - whether young girls on up to older women...single, divorced, widowed, married, students or alone; the mission statement will be focused as follows: "It's about who your following and who is following you!!" Stepping Stones XO in a nutshell is in the stepping stones of life its all about who I am following...and for me it's God, Jesus' dad, and who is following me like, my kids, friends and so on. So please know that you are invited to the celebration of transition from one beautiful servant of God, Mrs. Dionna Sanchez and into the care of Mrs. Carie Trost. Welcome on this journey of growing together in who God made each of us to be and encouraging each other every step of the way! XO (I like to end my emails, texts and so on with XO because well its peaceable and kind and what God calls me to do with even my enemies; it means Kisses and Hugs...so that way YOU always feel loved! The website address will be: www.steppingstonesxo.com (it's a work in progress at the moment will be up and running in a few short weeks!!!) ~ Carie

Home Impressions

Crying Over Spilled Milk Our family farm included cattle. When a mama cow died or couldn’t take care of her calf, feeding responsibilities deferred to one of us. I enjoyed it (most of the time). It was like adventures in adoption – but with a lot less work and worry. In order to feed the calf, we placed powdered formula in a large bottle, added milk, placed the nipple on the bottle and shook until well-mixed. Getting the nipple securely on the bottle was the tricky part. I don’t know what the bottles look like now, but back then, the only way to get the nipple securely onto the bottle was to turn the base of it inside out, hold it securely onto top of the bottle and carefully flip the base over the neck of the bottle. If it wasn’t on straight or completely, I’d have to pry the bottle apart and try again. All this wrestling went on while the bottle was full. Like anything else, the more often I’d do it, the better and faster I’d get. The morning feeding had to take place before I left for school. I like efficiency, and it seemed silly for me to change into work clothes just to feed the calf and then change my clothes again for school. I’d been feeding this calf for quite a while, so surely I could dress in my school clothes. 5

Wrong. The calf pulled on the bottle hard enough that I had to hold the bottle with both hands and counter the calf’s weight by leaning back slightly. The calf’s pulling power is the reason the bottle must be put together correctly. It looked like it was…but after about thirty seconds of tugging, the bottle and nipple flew apart, and I staggered backward, falling in the straw as milk flew all over me. Somehow, I then had to figure out a way to make another bottle, feed the calf, change my clothes and still be ready for school on time! I don’t remember if I made it or not. I’m assuming I did. But I remember not quite being able to get the smell of the milk off of me. I imagined I smelled like it all day long even though anyone I asked said they couldn’t smell it. When has something untimely happened? Something that disrupted your schedule, plans, or dreams? How do you typically respond to “spilled milk,” or unexpected messes? Is there anything about your response you’d like to change? Watch for spilled milk in your day. After the spill, consider it as an opportunity to take a different route, persevere through a challenge, or reprioritize. After all, it could be a learning experience for you to move beyond spilled milk to something better! As newborn babies want milk, you should want the pure and simple teaching. By it you can mature in your salvation, because you have already examined and seen how good the Lord is. 1 Peter 2:2-3

Susan is the author of two women’s Bible studies, Pure Purpose and Pure Emotion, and is passionate about pouring into women through writing, speaking, and training. Download study samples and get to know Susan better at http://purepurposebook.wordpress.com/ 6

Nurture Your Soul

Moving Mt. Everest – Sarah Markley

Every time I close my eyes at night to sleep, I exercise faith. When I turn the key in the car ignition. When I kiss my husband “goodbye” in the morning. When i lace up my running shoes to jog. Faith. I usually think Faith is some huge, hard-to-describe thing that I’ve never really seen, but am somehow expected to show, use, have… It’s like the Grand Canyon or the Ocean if you’ve never been to visit. Or Mount Everest (sometimes I wonder if its really there between Nepal and Tibet or if film, photos and people lie to me). But Faith can be small too. When I close my eyes at night, I trust that I will survive until morning; my heart won’t stop, a wildfire won’t overtake my house, no one will break in. When I turn my car on I exercise small bits of faith that we will get to our destination in one piece, that a happy-hour drunk won’t sideswipe me and my kids, and that my car will actually start. Faith.

But I never think about these these things, and I never think about this kind of Faith being, in actuality, real Faith. The kind of Grand Canyon Faith, Ocean Faith, Mount Everest Faith. Lacing up my running shoes (and trusting that I can run to the top of the hill) is small Faith, but it is Faith. Today I realized that it doesn’t feel like Faith if I move through my day without realizing I am trusting God and others for every safe and sound moment of my life. When I sit and think about how much I’m not in control, my Faith grows. Little pieces at a time. I understand that I’m watched over. I’m protected. I’m cared for. And because of that I trust. Recognizing it brings me closer to that Grand Canyon type of Faith. The Faith that moves Mount Everest. What makes you realize you’re not in control? Do you have Faith today?

Sarah Markley is a freelance writer and a stay at home mom. She lives in Southern California with her husband, Chad and her daughters Hope and Naomi. She blogs daily about faith, marriage and mothering at http://www.sarahmarkley.com.

Originally published at www.sarahmarkley.com in September 2009.

Grace Fox, author of several books including, "10-Minute Time Outs for Moms," has recently released a new small group resource titled, "Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman-toWoman Conversation." Produced in partnership with Stonecroft Ministries, it includes a teaching DVD and participant's guide. It's available online, through

https://www.winepressbooks.com/product.asp?pid=3217

and on the author's website http://www.gracefox.com/books/moving-from-fear-to-freedom-a-woman-to-woman-conversation-guide/

where group discounts apply.

MEMORY LANE Making The Drive To School Fun ~ By Dionna Sanchez Sometimes the morning drive into school can be a monotonous one. You go the same way at the same time every day all week. If you’re anything like me and have to drive your kids to a private school or a charter school, the drive is more than 10 minutes. Mine on any given day depending on traffic is at least 20 minutes long.

I feel like any type of occasion or situation can be a bonding time with my kids. Including and especially car-time. Since that is where I spend a great deal of the schools days with my kiddos at!

There are a few ideas I have done with my girls to make car time more fun and more memorable for us on those repetitive school-day drives.

1. Name the animals. We often would pass a corner with some horses every morning. One year when we carpooled, we passed a house that had some llamas. So I asked the kids to name the animals. They’d come up with names such as “Brownie” and other fun names for each animal depending on its color, size, and shape. Every morning after the animals were named – it would be fun to keep an eye out for them. “Where’s Brownie?” Or “Look at Brownie eating” – it made an otherwise normal drive-by a lot more fun.

2. Which car is yours? There are certain stoplights in the morning that depending on traffic – seem to last foooorrrreeevver. So we started playing “which car is yours?” We did this when my girls were 12 and 14 – and on the verge of being interested in driving. Believe me, they didn’t think it was stupid…but rather fun. We’d say, “Ok. The third car rounding the corner is yours.” And we’d count until the third car rounded the corner. We’d all laugh when someone would be stuck with a construction pick-up or ooh and ahh when someone got a cute, shiny car. It was fun and it helped us pass the time – together.

3. Pick Your Music We have a music-loving family. We love a good song. I found that the girls started fighting over what music was playing or groaning if it wasn’t something they liked. So I designated certain days of the week that were “their” day to solely control what music was played on the stereo system. We were lucky enough to be able to play our ipods in the car – so each person could plug in their own ipod and use their own playlist. But if you don’t have an ipod, you could still allow each person to choose the radio station they wanted, CD, or cassette. The fights all but melted away as someone would say, “Remember? Wednesday is my day!”

These are just a couple of the ideas you could use and a few that worked for me with my own children. Car time doesn’t have to be dreaded. It can be fun.

We have such a fascinating world around us. I’ve discovered that through these games, I’ve opened up my children’s eyes to look out the window and see that the world is a fun and exciting place full of curiosities. Even as recently as yesterday, as we were all riding in the car together, my 14 year old said, “Let’s see who can find the first bird and the first bald man!” It was funny and fun at the same time.

Bonding time. Learning time. And Awareness. All incorporated in a car ride. Go figure.

~ Dionna Sanchez is a stepmom, grandma, and mom to two girls. Visit her blog and get encouragement weekly at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com 11

Almost sixty Heartstring articles have flowed from my home to yours over the course of nearly five years I have been with Emphasis on Moms. I am blessed to have had this opportunity. Writing for Emphasis has challenged me to consider the health of my own marriage along the way; to strive for a picture closer to that which Christ has held out for me. As I have put words to page, I’ve always done so with transparency and genuineness of heart. My prayer today, as it has been every month, is that God speaks to you (and to me) through the words before you, which will be my last for Emphasis on Moms. As I made the decision to conclude my writing, I pondered what the Lord might have me share with you. I want you to extract some treasure for your marriage that you keep tucked in a special place for use when needed. What I believe the Lord has settled me on is the concept of holiness.

For the Purpose of Holiness By Angie Maldonado

Heartstrings

In my home church, during a month long focus on the family and marriage, we were asked to reflect upon this question: Did you ever consider that God gave you a marriage to make you holy, not to make you happy? Holy, not happy. We spend most of our time – consciously or subconsciously – on a quest for a happy marriage, when what God is more concerned with is our holiness. And, He’s going to use you and me and the relationships we have with our mates to propel us in the direction of holiness. The quest for a happy marriage often leaves us disappointed and bewildered, doesn’t it?

We examine our differences, conflicts, and failures, and question God’s work in our relationships. Instead, God wants us to take our examinations a step further, and seek His purposes in those areas. If He’d given us one another simply for our pleasure, might He have made us more alike and seemingly “compatible?” He uses the uniqueness of the marriage relationship to mold our character. As we are reshaped as individuals closer to a state of holiness, our marriage relationships experience that renovation power as a whole. Consider this: it’s in learning to keep no record of wrongs that we become merciful—holiness. It’s in saying, “I’m sorry,” that we learn about forgiveness— holiness. It’s in bearing one another’s burdens that we learn patience—holiness. It’s in learning to vulnerably trust another that we grow in faith—holiness. No other relationship brings these lessons to light more than the marital one. I pray God continues to open all our eyes to His purposes for us in marriage; that we may see the opportunities we have to glorify Him through our relationship as husband and wife. And, I pray we remain moldable and expectant of His renovation power at work in all of us. May God be alive and active in you and yours!

~ Angie Maldonado is a home schooling mom of two girls (ages 8 and 10) and an Army wife. She desires to leave a remarkable spiritual legacy to her two girls and to see them mature with hearts to serve the Lord. Angie has experienced the renovating power of the Lord at work in her marriage, and considers it a great blessing to use what she has learned to help build other women in their faith. Her first book, Let Your Light Shine, is now available through a division of Lifeway, www.crossbooks.com, at her website, www.letyourlightshineam.com, or through your favorite online book retailer.

Did you ever consider that God gave you a marriage to make you holy, not happy?

A Mom Minute

By Dionna Sanchez

Never Settle I want to teach my kids so many things. I want to teach them how to forgive themselves when they’ve messed up and how to have compassion for others. I want to teach them what it’s like to serve the Lord and the amazing feeling that goes along with it. I want to teach them lots of things and I’m sure I’ll teach them a few things that I’d rather not have passed along.

One thing I want to teach my kids is to “never settle.” Because we settle so much in life.

We settle for mediocrity when we could have amazing.

We settle for “what is and has always been” when we could have “new and exciting.”

We settle for being what someone else has told us we are.

Without even realizing it (or maybe WITH realizing it), we settle. Fear grips us from reaching out to change where we currently are. We’re afraid of what “could be” because we think it “shouldn’t be or “probably won’t be” and where would that leave our bruised and scarred hearts? 14

I want to teach my kids to think outside of the box. To learn that those in charge of you don’t always know what is best for you. To take your every dream, wish, concern, and hurt to the Lord in prayer and let HIM show you what is and what is not to be. We let human voices into our heads too often and let them penetrate too deeply.

If I can teach my kids not to settle for what the rest of the world throws their hands up over…I think I will have given them something that will carry them through so many storms and challenges in life. If I can only get the point across to them that settling isn’t a sign of being content and obedient; but one of abandon and loss…I will have helped give them a valuable tool for fighting for who God created them to be.

The world wants us to settle. It wants us to give up the fight and give in to the pressures, temptations, labels, and demands all around us. It wants us to settle for materialism, the myth that money buys happiness, that “I” come first, image means everything, size matters, and so much more.

I don’t care if my children learn how to cook. It would be nice, but it’s not life altering. I’m not too concerned with whether or not they get a college degree, or if they like the same activities and things I do. I am however, concerned about their morals, values, and character.

I AM concerned with how deep their roots will be and how strong their armor will be once they go out into the world on their own.

May I teach them now. May I arm them, now. And may they never – ever – settle.

~ You can contact Dionna at madetomom@yahoo.com or follow her on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/DionnaSanchez. She is a freelance writer and blogs at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com

Social Graces

The Heart of Hospitality While pondering and praying about what to write for this closing tip on social graces, God brought me back to the basics...the Bible. I guess you could say God wrote the book on hospitality! One of my favorite Scripture passages paints a lovely picture of hospitality in action, as if we were clothing ourselves in graciousness daily. Colossians 3:12-14 says, "Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Whether we have studied and learned social skills or not, these Christ-like characteristics will produce hospitality and grace towards others. We just need to remember to wear them daily in our hearts! ~ Edie Bunch

Home Rules Always be honest (Proverbs 12:22)

Count your blessings (Psalm 34:1-3)

Bear each other's burdens (Galatians 6:2)

Forgive and forget (Micah 7:18)

Be kind and tender hearted (Ephesians 4:32)

Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)

Keep your promises (Romans 4:21)

Be supportive of one another (Acts 20:35)

Be true to one another (Revelation 15:3)

Look after each other (Deuteronomy 15:11)

Treat each other like you treat your friends (Matthew 7:12)

but most important

Love~One~Another deeply from the heart (1 Peter 1:22)

~Carole Taylor~ 17

The Best Revenge

All About Relationships

By Victoria B. Jenkins

If your enemies are hungry, give them bread to eat; and if they are thirsty, give them water to drink; for you will heap coals of fire on their heads, and the LORD will reward you. (Proverbs 25:21-22 NRSV)

I was positively giddy the first time I read those words. Negatively giddy is more like it. If I couldn’t exact the murderous revenge on all those supposed friends who had so brutally betrayed me, I could at least kill ‘em with kindness. After all, God Himself had just given me permission. Right?

Not so much. Killing someone with false kindness won’t bring about a lasting change in that person. That sort of transformation requires the real thing. Man-heaped coals will provide a certain level of discomfort that can deter one from certain behaviors, but God-heaped coals remove the impurities at the root of the behavior.

When our showing kindness is motivated by a desire to make someone squirm, we’ve missed the point entirely.

Forgiving others should stem from our gratefulness to God for giving His Son. It is through Christ we are made pure and that allows us to be reconciled to our Father in heaven. Our Christ-like actions are what heap the attention grabbing, imperfection removing coals on our enemies’ heads. When motivated by a desire to be pleasing to the Lord, our efforts become an offering and for that we will be rewarded!

In my own struggles with forgiveness I’ve found it is seldom a once and done thing. Oftentimes the repeating stages overlap one another, though that’s not always the case. Naturally the initial forgiveness won’t always look like the subsequent relinquishings. As much as I’d love to tell you it gets easier to give the hurt over, the truth is it varies. I will say that our God is faithful every single time. Even when we’re not.

Those times I’d rather hold onto the pain, resentment, and not so occasional bouts of self-entitlement, I’m reminded of how much healing and joy lie in the alternative.

A lot like you, I’ve had to get over my share of heartache. I want to encourage you to begin giving over that hurt today. It starts with prayer and from there come sweet opportunities for obedience. The rewards are countless and holding onto unforgiveness, pointless. Pray the Lord grows you to be more compassionate and soon this next prayer suggestion won’t seem so difficult. Pray for your enemies’ relationships with our Father. Pray for their healing. Pray for their repentance. Pray for God to soften your heart and thicken your skin in future dealings with them, but also when it comes to revisiting the past.

I promise, God will be faithful to reward you. More importantly, He promises!

Whether homeschooling, housewifing, or hiding from the laundry heap, Victoria Jenkins is grateful to be a continual work of progress in God's hands. You can join Victoria each Friday as she shares her heart for Biblical Friendship. {http://biblicalfriendship.com}

Treasure Box “God is not a mortal like me, so I cannot argue with him or take him to trial. If only there were a mediator who could bring us together, but there is none. The mediator could make God stop beating me, and I would no longer live in terror of his punishment. Then I could speak to him without fear, but I cannot do that in my own strength.” (Job 9:32-35) These verses changed my perspective on the book of Job. I used to think Job was mostly a book about human suffering at the hands of a very real enemy. I could look at the person of Job and see the truth…that godly people still have to endure suffering during their earthly existence—great suffering even. I could even look at this poor man and feel good about the slight level of suffering I’ve been called to endure. But now I also see how this book points to Christ—in so many ways. Job was caught up in the hopelessness of deep despair. Not because of his physical, emotional, and mental sufferings…but because of his spiritual. His relationship with God had changed and he saw no way back to Him. He recognized the inadequacy of his righteousness before a holy God, and he saw his need for a mediator…but he didn’t have a clue about the person of Jesus Christ. How fortunate we are that we don’t have to face such despair. Jesus is readily available to anyone who calls on Him. ~ Cheryl Heindel 20

Preparing to Change ~ By Jenn Whitmer

Timeout

“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Ben Franklin Ouch! No one likes to fail. We all talk about using failure and its importance, but no one likes it while it’s happening. I, for one, want to avoid failure if I can. So in the spirit of Franklin’s quote, this article is about preparation. I do have to admit to you that this comes very easily to some people and is always a struggle for others. I tend to fall in the latter category; I am not a naturally organized person. I have learned its value over the years, but I still have to really think about it. Preparing children for change and transition is some of the most important preparation you can do for your children’s discipline. Transitions come in many different shapes and sizes. After leaving teaching 5 years ago, I have gone back to work as a part-time Director of Assessment at my children’s school; this has been and is still a big transition for our family. Each day we go from playing to the car to eating: little transitions. Preparing your children for these transitions sets them up for success. Not that we will never fail (disobey), but you’re giving a great platform to choose obedience.

Stories Big transitions are usually expected or gradual, other than death. I have found that children do well with stories where the plot includes a relevant transition. First day of school, new baby, moving house, moving out…all these kinds of transitions happen to lots of people and many of them have told there story through a book, magazine article, or movie. Read or watch the story with your child and use the character’s experience as a starting point for conversation with your child about his or her upcoming transition. Games Silly games are a great way to prepare for transition, even for older kids. Want to get a car loan…how about a game of Monopoly and let’s discuss debt. Modified Hide and Seek is great for teaching young children to come when you call them. Practice “arguing” with a play. Yes, these games do take a little work, but practice gives children a bit of muscle memory for the appropriate response. Routine I could go on about routine all the livelong day! Routine takes so many opportunities for conflict out of play and provides structure & security for children. Build time into your routine for transition and remind your children of what’s coming next. “In 10 minutes your time with the Wii/Xbox/DS is over. After that we’re getting in the car to go to the store.” Tell them in advance, let them prepare to stop what they’re doing before you move onto the next activity. Franklin’s quote does not give us a guarantee of success, but shows us a sure fire way to fail! Preparing for transition is an important disciplinary tool that will benefit you and your children.

Jenn Whitmer lives and laughs with her husband, two sons, and 2 daughters in St. Louis, Missouri. Send Email Jennifer at jenniferwhitmer@gmail.com with any thoughts or questions. 22

Potpourri

Need some time to recharge but don’t have extra time or money? Make dinner for your family as normal, then take your plate and go into your bedroom and close the doors while your husband minds the kids for the meal. Eat with a book, the television, or simply in quiet – but getting even a ½ hour break will help you find some energy to complete the remainder of the day. When you come out, not only will you feel a little more sane, but you’ll probably get extra hugs from your children as well!

Does Emphasis encourage your heart?? Take a minute to let Dionna know email at madetomom@yahoo.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The appearance of advertising in Emphasis should not be interpreted as an endorsement of the service, product, business, or program being advertised. Emphasis On Moms takes no responsibility for claims or representations made in any ads. Emphasis On Moms is for your information and entertainment purposes only. In no event shall Dionna Sanchez be liable for any damages whatsoever resulting from any action arising in connection with the use of this information or its publication, including any action for infringement of copyright or defamation. ~~~~~~~~~~ EMPHASIS ON MOMS is here for you as a ministry to encourage your heart. It comes from Dionna's heart and devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you have a prayer request or would like to find out more how you can ask Jesus into your heart to become a part of your life; email me Dionna at madetomom@yahoo.com.