Emphasis On Moms ~ July 2011
In This Issue: Home Impressions: Not My Child! Heartstrings: Ladies In Waiting Memory Lane: The Art Wall Mom Minute: Offering Fine Dining
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, & handed on for them to do the same. ~ Ronald
Reagan
To Your Guests Nurture Your Soul: Grace and Bad Eggs Timeout: Control Vs. Influence Treasure Box: Psalm 86:4 All About Relationships: It Happened At WalMart
Make sure to visit our website! http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com and blog http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com
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Between You and Me ~
Thank you so much for praying for our family last month as we travelled to Guatemala! God kept us safe and we had a GREAT trip. Would you like to see? Here is a video my husband put together with his video & my pictures of our team’s experience…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oosygJ0CFwM (And yes, those are my beautiful daughters’ interacting with the Guatemalan children!)
I hope and pray that your family is having a great summer. That you are able to make many memories together, have down-time to relax, and fun time to explore life, too. Enjoy the sunshine!
~ Dionna (madetomom@yahoo.com)
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Home Impressions
Not My Child! ~ Susan Lawrence My mom made it clear that she would never be one of those moms who make this statement and not believe facts in front of her that, indeed, one of her children did something unacceptable. Not that she expected the worst from us or that she doubted us. She was simply willing to gather and consider all the facts before deciding her next steps. The truth is…each of us is capable of just about anything. All it takes is one choice followed by another, and we can get ourselves into some twisted messes. We can even make what we think are good choices – but for the wrong reasons – and find ourselves in messes. Early in our marriage, Tim and I were very considerate of each other. We had great intentions of supporting each other and considering each other’s needs before our own. Sounds admirable, right? Somewhere along the line, I began to think and behave as if I could make my husband happy. I stayed home when the girls were young, and I loved it…but I also felt pressure to support and thank Tim through the sacrifices he was making. I wanted to have a clean house and dinner ready when he came home. I wanted him to have time to relax after a long day. I wanted him to feel he was a good provider. I wanted to be a pleasing wife and partner. And little by little, when I couldn’t be, I pretended I could. After many years, my efforts became twisted so that if something wasn’t “just right” for him, I’d pretend it didn’t happen. I’d fix a different dinner, clean a little more or neglect to tell him about an unpaid bill. (continued) 4
Of course, what I found out over time is that I can’t make someone else happy. And in reality, Tim wouldn’t want me to even if I could. He wanted me to be me. By assuming I knew what he wanted and what was best for him, I was actually being selfcentered. Seriously…as if I have that much knowledge and power! I was wearing a nice girl mask that was a twisted, self-made craft project made of good intentions and decorated with selfishness. What masks do you wear? When do you feel most exposed and vulnerable? Ask God to help you take – and keep – your masks off. He’s the best protection you can have. He knows and loves you just the way you are…and isn’t content to leave you there. Everything the Lord does is right. He is loyal to all he has made. The Lord is close to everyone who prays to him, to all who truly pray to him. He gives those who respect him what they want. He listens when they cry, and he saves them. The Lord protects everyone who loves him, but he will destroy the wicked. Psalm 145:1720
Susan is the author of two women’s Bible studies, Pure Purpose and Pure Emotion, and is passionate about pouring into women through writing, speaking, and training. Download study samples and get to know Susan better at http://purepurposebook.wordpress.com/
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Nurture Your Soul
Grace and Bad eggs – Sarah Markley
I know now that there isn’t any expiration date on grace. Not like eggs in the icebox that I buy getting ready for omelets and pancakes on the weekend. I buy too many and they sit with a USE BY date stamped on the side. I never use all the eggs by their date. But they are still good. Refrigerated eggs can be used for about a month after their expiration. That purple 21JUL09 is just so intimidating, though. I have to resist the urge to toss them out just because it’s the 24th. I fight it remembering I will use them up tomorrow in fresh blueberry pancakes or vegetable omelets.
Grace is the same.
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It’s always there. Cartons and cartons filling up and getting in the way of the other food. Ready for me to crack open and sink into whenever I want. And sometimes it seems like it’s too late. That grace, somehow, has gone bad. The story of the woman in the streets at the feet of Jesus always makes me weep. She thought any grace that might have been extended to her had run dry. It was over. There is something about her, nameless, that will always resonate inside me.
She is me. But Jesus stooped down to her, gave her all of Heaven’s grace and told her to live her life in a different way. Because His grace never expires. It’s always good and fresh and gives life. Crack it open. Spread it out. Use it. Grace is abundant and doesn’t grow old.
Sarah Markley is a freelance writer and a stay at home mom. She lives in Southern California with her husband, Chad and her daughters Hope and Naomi. She blogs daily about faith, marriage and mothering at http://www.sarahmarkley.com.
Originally published at www.sarahmarkley.com in July 2009.
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MEMORY LANE The Art Wall ~ By Dionna Sanchez
This is what I see when I go out in my garage every day to get into my car.
A wall full of pictures and artwork from my kiddos. I love it.
When we moved into this house, our garage walls were unfinished. We could have painted them, but my husband started something else instead. The wall of art.
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Everyone knows that kids bring home boatloads of drawings, artwork, projects, papers, and crafts home from school. There isn’t always a good place to keep it. I have some bins – one for each child that I keep the favorites in. Some day, I’ll give the precious pieces back to them. But for now – they are our “keepers.” That left the other stuff. Some of it, we still liked but didn’t know what to do with it. So my husband started tacking it up in the garage. After awhile, it looked like this…..
It is so cheerful. So full of love. I’m so glad it’s all there. To greet us as we come and go about our days. To remind us of who we are investing in. And to remind them, that we care what they do.
My kids don’t bring home much artwork anymore. They are getting older …the craft projects and art time – fewer and farther between.
Who would have thought I would miss so much – seeing every new creation that they thought up or crafted?
Oh. But I do.
I’m so thankful all I have to do is look at the wall of our garage to make me smile and remember – who is really important in my life.
~ Dionna Sanchez (http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com) 9
Last month, I confessed to you that patience is not likely a virtue I could place as a strength on my resume. Unfortunately, that contradicts the fact that it’s a daily requirement in the life of a growing Christian wife and mother. The average list of things we wait for can seem endless— …victory over the same old point of contention between you and your spouse •
Ladies In Waiting By Angie Maldonado
…an honoring tongue toward or from your beloved …freedom from the battle with the figure in the mirror
•
…some payoff for all your efforts in Christian child-‐ training.
And these are just the “normal” waits. In recent years, I have been witness to some “abnormal” demands on patience in Christian sisters that put my list to shame. Young wives, just barely in their twenties, are waiting on prognoses and treatment options for themselves or their husbands, with serious diagnoses. Women with children battling special needs—physical and emotional—are waiting for a breath of fresh air. Divorce rages on, leaving women (and men) waiting for reprieve from their deep pain and bewilderment. And one wait just piles on to the next.
Heartstrings
These things are just hard! We wait for Divine intervention and sometimes it doesn’t seem to come. Even when we squint our eyes to see what’s on the horizon, things look bleak. So where is God? What makes God decide to seemingly withhold intervention? What is He doing? The answers to those questions are difficult to sum up in under a thousand words! But, my Instructor is teaching me a few lessons I want to share with you, my fellow ladies in waiting. 10
• It is in the challenge of the waiting that the lessons come. We are wives and moms in training. If there’s no race to run, no obstacle course, we won’t grow any closer to the likeness of the King. • God is faithful to all His promises (Psalm 145:13). But remember, when we’re squinting at that horizon, He sees far beyond it. His answers may not come to fruition on this earth. But He has a perfect eternity in store for us. • God is God! “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” God questioned Job. I’d like to avoid that line of questioning with God. He knows what He’s doing, and we don’t have to. So, briefly, what do we do during the dark hours of the wait? “…so our eyes look to the Lord our God, till He shows us His mercy. Psalm 123:2 We look to God TILL. We don’t stop looking TILL. The waiting may have to be endured from this life TILL the eternal one, but we look to Him TILL we see His answer. He is our hope in the wait.
~ Angie Maldonado is a home schooling mom of two girls (ages 7 and 9) and an Army wife. She desires to leave a remarkable spiritual legacy to her two girls and to see them mature with hearts to serve the Lord. Angie has experienced the renovating power of the Lord at work in her marriage, and considers it a great blessing to use what she has learned to help build other women in their faith. Her first book, Let Your Light Shine, is now available through a division of Lifeway, www.crossbooks.com, at her website, www.letyourlightshineam.com, or through your favorite online book retailer.
He is our hope in the wait.
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A Mom Minute
By Dionna Sanchez
Offering Fine Dining To Your Guests How many times do we fret over our meals? When company or visitors stop by, we stress and strain over what to make them. It has to be elaborate. Gourmet. Fancy.
Why the fuss? Is it about filling them up with good food and good company…or is it about us and our image?
I’ve decided (for the most part, because I’m still human and get caught up in vanity and pride) that I’m done cooking “fancy.” I’m going for simple. Casual. Comfortable.
I’d much rather spend less time fussing over food in the kitchen and more time enjoying good conversation and company with my guests. I’m not fond of cooking anyways – so why try to impress?
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I do want to make those who enter my home feel special. Valued. Worth my time. But I don’t want to get sucked into pretense. I’m not about pretending I whip up huge home-cooked meals when our family is simply content with sub sandwiches or tacos on most week-nights.
The only thing I struggle with is feeling a bit….”less than.” I feel a little immature and childish if I serve grilled cheese sandwiches to company. But trust me, I’m trying to get over that – because honestly? Grilled cheese sandwiches are so much more “me” than lobster anyways.
How about you? Do you struggle to cook fine meals for your guests? Or are you comfortable going with something that is more in your budget and low-key? Do you avoid having company all together because you feel inept to serve them?
God often broke bread with others in the Bible. I wonder how they felt
about having the great “I AM” in their presence and simply eating bread instead of a lavish meal? If it’s one thing I’m learning as each year goes by it’s that life is more about WHO we are than WHAT we do. We should certainly make the effort to love on others - as long as our hearts are in the right place. But we should also remember to strive for authenticity. And let’s face it, sometimes pizza that we ordered out is so much more authentic than chicken cacciatore.
~ Dionna Sanchez writes from her home in Idaho. She is passionate about faith and family and serving her God. You can visit Dionna’s blog at http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com or contact her at madetomom@yahoo.com
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Social Graces
Grace Under Pressure
Hospitality comes easily in certain circles. Other times, it is extremely difficult to see or share. How do you extend true hospitality and social grace in situations of stress and pressure? Prayer is the first tool, followed by a willing spirit, and a servant's heart. Jesus is our best example of how to show grace to others in difficult circumstances. Sometimes, when grace is the hardest to give, it is needed the most.
~ Edie Bunch
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It Happened At
All About Relationships
WalMart By Victoria B. Jenkins
I’ve never quite been able to reconcile the “me” inside with the version other people see. Sometimes shy, others outgoing, there’s just no telling what impression I might leave. When asked point blank, I finally put a name to the dichotomy—I am a closet extrovert. Oh, I’d love to take you by the hand as we chat and laugh the time away, I’m just too chicken to chance looking like a fool and giving away too much of myself in the process. God is wooing me out of my closet and into the life He’s called me to live—one I’m perfectly content to look a bit foolish living if it makes Him a tiny bit more famous. Having only just discovered the Lord’s movement to break down the barrier I’d been hiding behind, I wasn’t expecting the prompting He placed on my heart. I certainly wasn’t looking for something so profound, but there it was, and it happened at Wal-Mart! In fairness, I practically live at Wal-Mart, so where else was it going to happen? With the madness of back to school shopping, the place was swamped. I made my way toward the checkout lanes with a sigh as I equipped myself to take it all in stride. There ahead, a woman wrapped up her payment and I dashed toward the empty conveyor belt. Stopping to snag my sweetie an orange Fanta from the cooler, I thanked God for giving me some small way to tell my husband he is loved. Once the cashier had finished with the customer ahead of me, she greeted me that same small greeting you’re sure everyone is trained to deliver though so few actually do. I extended the same courtesy she had shown me, and replied. She looked me square in the eye and thanked me for talking to her. The way she said it said so much.
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Then it happened. That look-like-a-weirdo moment I’d always wished for and away all at one time—God told me to ask if I could pray for her. Right then. Right there. Ask her, this total stranger just trying to do her job, if I could pray for her. The weirdest part? I didn’t even hesitate! I can’t say enough how not like me this was. Please know that it is God alone that made me woman enough to “man up” to the task! Naturally, the cashier was surprised by my question, but she didn’t skip a beat in answering. After simply saying, “Yes,” she paused for a moment as we stood looking at one another. We both knew there was more to follow, though I don’t think either of us expected what she’d say next. “Yes. My daughter just died two years ago; you can pray for me.” There just aren’t words to fit the emotion in her eyes. All I could do was take her by both hands, look straight into her sweet face and let her know beyond all doubt that I would be praying for her. On my way home, the Lord gave me such a vivid illustration to go along with the lesson He had began teaching me in that checkout lane. As one car after another slowed down in effort to look out for a gnarly, mangy old stray dog weaving his way in and out of traffic, I couldn’t help but wonder why we never slow down that way for the woman at the post office, the guy ahead of us in line at the bookstore, or even the cashier at Wal-Mart. Who knows how many stray people we zip past in our daily lives? God does, that’s exactly why He prompts us to do the seemingly strangest things! It’s a beautiful burden our Heavenly Father has placed on us, to care for one another!
Whether homeschooling, housewifing, or hiding from the laundry heap, Victoria Jenkins is grateful to be a continual work of progress in God's hands. You can join Victoria each Friday as she shares her heart for Biblical Friendship. {http://biblicalfriendship.com}
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Treasure Box Give me happiness, O Lord, for my life depends on You. Psalm 86:4 I can search all my life for happiness, but it will always prove to be unstable or elusive, apart from You. True joy—that leads to both happiness and contentment— is a gift from You, Lord. I receive it as I depend on You; as I seek Your will for my life. Because You created me and wired me very specifically and uniquely, You know exactly what the key is to my personal happiness. Why is it so difficult at times to just trust You with my happiness? To believe that You not only know the key to my heart but actually possess it, and You are just waiting to unlock it and then fill it to overflowing? ~ Cheryl Heindel
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Control Vs. Influence ~ By Jenn Whitmer
Timeout
I’ve spent the last couple weeks potty-‐training our youngest and likely last child. You have to understand, I HATE potty training. Seriously, HATE it. It was one of my biggest hang-‐ups when deciding about having a fourth child. We’ve also been putting our house back up for sale—for the 4th time in 5 years. In the midst of these circumstances, I’ve asked to God to teach me something through the difficulties. Ever faithful, He brought to mind the difference between control and influence. Ineffective Illusion Control is actual not ours. We serve a great God who is absolutely in control. He does grant us authority over some aspects of our lives and people. Self-‐ control is a fruit of the Spirit working in us, not a character trait we create in ourselves. Control over other people is even less ours. We may say we have control over our children, but really, we do not. I can take my toddler to the bathroom, set her on the toilet, but I am absolutely incapable of making her pee. I can make every effort to present my house to buyers, but I cannot write a contract for anyone to purchase it. Control is fruitless as well. If we seek to discipline and raise our children with the mentality that we control them or their circumstances, the result is always rebellion or unhealthy co-‐ dependence. Neither is God’s or our desire for our children.
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Loving Influence Sovereign God gave us Free Will. (How that all works is one of those amazing theological mysteries, but that’s another column!) God doesn’t use control to change us; Romans says he uses kindness to lead us to repentance. We do not have control over our children’s lives, but we have inestimable influence. God has given us the privilege of designing some our children’s circumstances, with His wisdom, to provide the best learning environment possible to bring them into a heart relationship with Him. We do that by building trust with our kids and demonstrating our own relationship with Him. Not by emotional manipulation, but we orchestrate schedules, routines, activities, relationships, and prayer all to guide them toward Jesus. We cannot choose Jesus, obedience, or trust for them. With my house, I can clean it, polish it, stage it, price it, and pray, I am leading the buyer, but not choosing for them. When I talk to my kids about the heart of an issue and follow with consequences that fit the sin, I am leading my child to make right choices, but I cannot choose for them. Control is a frustrated attempted at omnipotence. Even He who is all-‐powerful, uses influence to change us. Influence is motivated by love and kindness. Attempting to control our children is futile at best, sinful at worst. Capture your child’s heart so you can bring your influence to bear in their lives. I’m happy to say that through my profound influence, my daughter is a rock star and staying dry all the time. My house, we’ll see what God does. I’m glad He’s in control!
Jenn Whitmer lives and laughs with her husband, two sons, and 2 daughters in St. Louis, Missouri. Send Email Jennifer at jenniferwhitmer@gmail.com with any thoughts or questions. 19
Potpourri
While air conditioning is a good way to cool down in the hot summer weather, it is not always cost-effective or a realistic option for everyone. A ceiling fan is a great investment to make for your home. By circulating the air from above, you can make the room feel about 7 degrees cooler! Ceiling fans usually cost less than $10 each month to use. Even a standard floor fan can work to help you feel cooler. Another good tip is the use of light colored window shades or drapes. The light color will reflect heat away from the windows. Keep the shades or drapes closed when the sun is shining on them. Try to only use the stove and oven during the cooler parts of the day (morning and night), as the heat emitted from them will only heat your home more. If you do use air conditioning, it is important to not place lamps or TVs near the air-conditioner, as the heat from the appliances will only make the AC work harder. Make sure the AC units are shaded by trees, make sure that the fan part of the air conditioner is not blocked by leaves or branches. Keeping the air conditioning unit in the shade can save a lot of money each month. Another helpful hint is having a lightly colored roof! The heat will reflect off the roof versus heating your home! ~ Amy McCormick
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Does Emphasis encourage your heart?? Take a minute to let Dionna know, or support the ministry through prayer or a donation. Visit http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com or email at madetomom@yahoo.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The appearance of advertising in Emphasis should not be interpreted as an endorsement of the service, product, business, or program being advertised. Emphasis On Moms takes no responsibility for claims or representations made in any ads. Emphasis On Moms is for your information and entertainment purposes only. In no event shall Dionna Sanchez be liable for any damages whatsoever resulting from any action arising in connection with the use of this information or its publication, including any action for infringement of copyright or defamation. ~~~~~~~~~~ EMPHASIS ON MOMS is here for you as a ministry to encourage your heart. It comes from Dionna's heart and devotion to the Lord Jesus Christ. If you have a prayer request or would like to find out more how you can ask Jesus into your heart to become a part of your life; email me Dionna at madetomom@yahoo.com.