ROLANGE THE RHYMING ORANGE
YET ANOTHER RIDICULOUS BOOK BY
T
B HIS
OX, OPEN TH
Dizzying Design by ENRICO BOXMAN (A.K.A. Foxy Boxy)
E
RE A LEV
1
PE :
lope O pen the Enve
NT ENVELO
ER ENEV YOU SE H E W
C. LEE PHRANCQUE *
*(Shouldn’t he be in his Pilates class !?)
Now Rolange, Was a very lonely orange, Whose only friend, In the end,
Was the mirror, The mirror on the wall.
Why am I round,
Round like a ball? And the mirror,
The mirror said nothing,
Nothing at all.
PAGE VUN
Sad, and in despair,
twirling, swirling,
on a swivel chair,
then and there did Rolange I do declare!
lope O pen the Enve
Dearest Teddy bear,
It is the air I must clear! WHAT TO DO? CRY: BOO-HOO? OR ACT AND FIX THE FACT ?!
So in the end,
Our Rolange turned to the mirror’s friend. PAGE TOWOO
2
The
QUATHALSCOPE
Yes! Yes. a quathalscope! That is what I said Fred! Really!
The yooth of today! Yes! Yes!
lope O pen the Enve
3
I did indeed say a quathalscope.
K WA -TH A L- S CO P E , QU A TH A L S C O P E Available in all good stories.
Quite simple to make yourself.
All you need are the MARSHMALLOWS
and
S T I C K S and the attached envelope.
Follow the instructions and build your very own quathalscope.
PAGE TREE PLUS AITCH
Gently squeeze the edges of the
MARSHMALLOWS and state:
What makes you sad? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ................................... What makes you glad? . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
What makes you bad? . . . . . . . . . . . .
.....................................
What makes you mad? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
........................................
What would you have liked to have had?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .(Write this on a note pad)
.......................................
What is the capital of Chad? . . . . . . . . . . . .
........................................
Paj faw
“Now”, thought Rolange,
“How would the blue strawberry get out this jam?” Now Wow -
Abuzz with this quiz, And juice all a-fizz,
Rolange rolled into a ball,
Ever so small, - and ….
Rollanged out of the door,
Heading north – well….
North-north-west!
Pahje five-jive
In a huff,
And of course – a puff, (and all that stuff)
Rolled into a small ball,
Rolled, rolled and rolledand BUMPED BUMPED BUMPED BUMPED
right into
Tareen the Green Tangerine
page six-tricks-hot-sticks
“Oh! How stupid of me” said Rolange,
“ H e lllll o o o o ! ”
O pen the Envelope
said Tareen – the green tangerine
4
“That is not at all stupid - but maybe it is silly” “Excuse me! Excuse me! excuse moi!” said Rolange, “Still all – a – rush with a blood red blush: “What is the difference between stupid and silly”. “Oh, all the world” said Tareen (who – as you might well know – is a green tangerine). If I say “1 and 1 is 3. Well you know that is stupid. It is stupid because it is completely wrong and cannot be right.” “But” continued Tareen (who to the best of my recollection is a green tangerine) “If I say 1 and 1 is 11. Well that is silly. It is silly because – although it is wrong, there is still something true about it.” “Think about it” said Tareen (who by now you should know – is a green tangerine.) Page vii
“Ahh. Ah-hah!”, said Rolange (who unlike Tareen the green tangerine is a Rhyming Orange),
“This is the difficulty with words.
“Let us ask therefore ask”, said Rolange (a distinctly rhyming orange):
“What is the difference between
a cat and a dog?”
“Ah-hah!” , said Tareen, searching for the best rhyme (very unlike a green tangerine)
“Well,” said Tareen (and now is the time to tell you a very big secret: – Tareen is a green tangerine. There! The secret is out!)
“Words mean what they mean because
they mean what we say they mean”,
sayeth Tareen. “What does that mean?!”
queried Rolange.
“Ahhh! That is another question altogether”
Page eight – now what rhymes with ate?
It was at this point that Tareen (an unequivacally green tangerine) slipped an old Japanese poem into Rolange’s pocket (you know – the pocket where orange’s keep things like their heart, their juices and their vitamin c). And this was the poem:
5
“ a FROG, a POND, a PLOP ! ”
Page German No
Ah said Tareen,
Well here-and-now I have a riddle, with which you can fiddle,
See if you can figure this one out my buddy:
If I owe you no money and I don’t
have any money no money, but I still
have a lot to give you: What can I give you?
Page
OFF |
ON
You make me the me I didn’t know I was!
It is...
Page wunty wun
LOVE 6
YES IT MUST BE THAT.
LOVE YES LOOOOVE, LOOOVE, LOOOOVE! LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED LOVE IS ALL YOU HAVE
LOVE IS A BALL!
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