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La vita è BELLA (minus the pizza)
Prediction’s Editor Alexandra Wenman and Deputy Editor Gemma Birss head to Italy for a pizza and pasta fest, only to return three kilos lighter…
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argherita pizzas and Valpolicella. That’s what Alex and I had on our minds as we flew into Bergamo airport on our way to one of north Italy’s most prestigious boutique spa retreats. OK, so a bit of pampering on the side wouldn’t go amiss, but it was the food and wine that we were really excited about. And as our destination, Ti Sana, is the proud owner of numerous spa awards, we knew that we were in for some of the best Italian fare out there. We were delivered gracefully to the wrought iron gates of the retreat, ushered into Ti Sana’s courtyard and greeted by the charming Virginia who handed us our programme for the three days. Our hearts dropped into our toes and rolled back to England. What we thought would be a decadent pamper fest was actually a detox regime, complete with a
juice fast, colonic irrigations, live blood tests, fitness classes and medical analyses. The juice fast includes five juices a day – most of which are comprised of Ti Sana’s home-grown fruit and vegetables, plus a bowl of hot soup in the evening. You are also welcome to as much herbal tea and water as you want. As we digested our news (and, regretfully, the remainder of the Pret sandwiches that we’d eaten on the flight over), Virginia took us on a guided tour of the retreat. Ti Sana is exquisite – a converted home dating back to 1711 with beautifully designed bedrooms and spa facilities that even the most seasoned spa junkie would swoon over: as well as the usual sauna, hammam and Jacuzzi, is a tropical mist and rain experience, a salt cave and a hydrotherapy neck and shoulder massager – and that’s even before you get to the infrared sauna. Our enthusiasm was somewhat diluted by the thought of the looming
liquid detox, but we were buoyed up again by dinner which, to our relief, was solid. In fact, more than that, it was delicious. Ti Sana offers a plant-based menu. Valeria, Ti Sana’s chef, is ingenious, creating sushi rolls from grated cauliflower and vegetables wrapped in nori, and crackers from dehydrated seeds. Day one started with a power walk along the Adda river with Ti Sana’s fitness instructor and Italy’s top Tai Chi guru, Mario. It was less power walk, more jaunty stroll through views of snowcapped mountains. Then it was back to Ti Sana for our breakfast: a grape and courgette juice. Next came the live blood test, where Virginia takes a sample of your blood to study your state of health. I’m no fan of injections, but this prick on the finger was relatively innocuous. She places my blood drop under a microscope where we can see it, up close and personal, on a screen. Virginia pointed out that I need
40 January 2013 predictionmagazine.com
ItalyGB.indd 1
14/11/2012 20:35
BODY Ti Sana’s juice ingredients are mainly home-grown
One of the luxurious spa treatment rooms
us going is the promise that tomorrow, solid foods will be back in town.
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS The next morning, we don’t feel any better. We pry ourselves out of bed for the ‘power’ walk, bellies grumbling and tempers frayed. All we can think about is breakfast – a bowl of porridge perhaps? Or some fruit with Greek yoghurt? No. The single glass of juice that awaits us on our return pricks the bubble of our fantasy. Fortunately, lunch is a heartier affair, with barley risotto followed by sweet potato cake and a giant salad. However, it’s apparent that Alex and I are still detoxing, as we both feel as if we’re about to die. We’ve been on detoxes before, but we’ve never felt this rough. Slightly concerned that our internal organs are going to pack in at any moment, we Google the effects of detoxing. Flu-like symptoms, nausea, shivering, exhaustion, moodiness... Ah! We get full marks, then.
HOMEWARD BOUND
Ti Sana’s suites are all individually decorated
to drink more water, as my blood cells were all huddled together, and should avoid tap water as there was a heavy metal crystal in the sample, too.
COLONIC IRRIGATION Juice two was followed by my first ever colonic irrigation with the state-of-theart Angel of Water machines. What I had thought would be someone shoving a hose up my bottom was actually a pretty civilized affair. You lower yourself on to a lubricated nozzle, and then Erica d’Angelo, Ti Sana’s manageress and expert in this field, comes to turn on your water and instruct you on how to let the water in, hold it while you massage your abdomen before releasing and allowing it to flush out. She then leaves you to it, which I’m relieved about. The only person I ever want to see my number twos is me. You can see everything that leaves your colon through a clear pipe, and half way through, I’m beginning to marvel at how much s*** I’ve been carrying about with me! Another juice and I’m back down at the spa waiting for a massage. By now I’m feeling exhausted – apparently a colonic will do that – not to mention a
little peckish. I’m smothered in luxurious algae and wrapped in cling film as my therapist works on massaging my face. I can tell that this lady has kneaded her fair share of pizza dough – she has mastered the art. Once the algae has been cleaned away, I’m treated to a full body massage, which is heavenly. But by the time I’m done, I’m totally shattered, spaced out and starting to feel decidedly out of sorts. I wobble up to our room where I find Alex, who is in a similar state to me. We have just enough energy to lie on our beds and breathe. We’re shivery and nauseous, and our skin and joints hurt. We feel like the cold-turkey heroin addicts in Trainspotting. Needless to say, we don’t give the afternoon Qi Gong class a look in and sleep our way through the afternoon. Dinner time rolls around and Alex and I dodder our way feebly towards our bowls of pumpkin soup. It’s such a relief to eat something warming that soothes my shivers, but I’m also swinging biliously between bouts of nausea. We finish our soup glumly and retreat to our beds, lacking the energy or inclination to do anything else. The only thing that keeps
By the time day three rocks around, we’re finally feeling chipper again. Does this mean that we’ve detoxed enough to have reached the shores of purity once more? Or are we just excited to get home and eat? We’re not sure. We’ve both lost weight – the dress I arrived in is now hanging off me, and Alex has cheek bones to die for. We’ve also got some colour in our cheeks. So the detox worked. We’re given some healthy recipes to take home, as well as some delicious vegan snacks, and we’re packed off to spend the day in beautiful Bergamo. Our first stop? A coffee shop. Well… you can’t go to Italy without having an espresso, can you?! ■ Ti Sana offers a range of detox and healthy lifestyle programmes, catered to your needs. The two-day New Year programme is designed to get you in gear for 2013 at a special price of EUR165. Visit 1711.it for more info
predictionmagazine.com January 2013 41
ItalyGB.indd 2
14/11/2012 20:35
BODY Ti Sana’s juice ingredients are mainly home-grown
One of the luxurious spa treatment rooms
us going is the promise that tomorrow, solid foods will be back in town.
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS The next morning, we don’t feel any better. We pry ourselves out of bed for the ‘power’ walk, bellies grumbling and tempers frayed. All we can think about is breakfast – a bowl of porridge perhaps? Or some fruit with Greek yoghurt? No. The single glass of juice that awaits us on our return pricks the bubble of our fantasy. Fortunately, lunch is a heartier affair, with barley risotto followed by sweet potato cake and a giant salad. However, it’s apparent that Alex and I are still detoxing, as we both feel as if we’re about to die. We’ve been on detoxes before, but we’ve never felt this rough. Slightly concerned that our internal organs are going to pack in at any moment, we Google the effects of detoxing. Flu-like symptoms, nausea, shivering, exhaustion, moodiness... Ah! We get full marks, then.
HOMEWARD BOUND
Ti Sana’s suites are all individually decorated
to drink more water, as my blood cells were all huddled together, and should avoid tap water as there was a heavy metal crystal in the sample, too.
COLONIC IRRIGATION Juice two was followed by my first ever colonic irrigation with the state-of-theart Angel of Water machines. What I had thought would be someone shoving a hose up my bottom was actually a pretty civilized affair. You lower yourself on to a lubricated nozzle, and then Erica d’Angelo, Ti Sana’s manageress and expert in this field, comes to turn on your water and instruct you on how to let the water in, hold it while you massage your abdomen before releasing and allowing it to flush out. She then leaves you to it, which I’m relieved about. The only person I ever want to see my number twos is me. You can see everything that leaves your colon through a clear pipe, and half way through, I’m beginning to marvel at how much s*** I’ve been carrying about with me! Another juice and I’m back down at the spa waiting for a massage. By now I’m feeling exhausted – apparently a colonic will do that – not to mention a
little peckish. I’m smothered in luxurious algae and wrapped in cling film as my therapist works on massaging my face. I can tell that this lady has kneaded her fair share of pizza dough – she has mastered the art. Once the algae has been cleaned away, I’m treated to a full body massage, which is heavenly. But by the time I’m done, I’m totally shattered, spaced out and starting to feel decidedly out of sorts. I wobble up to our room where I find Alex, who is in a similar state to me. We have just enough energy to lie on our beds and breathe. We’re shivery and nauseous, and our skin and joints hurt. We feel like the cold-turkey heroin addicts in Trainspotting. Needless to say, we don’t give the afternoon Qi Gong class a look in and sleep our way through the afternoon. Dinner time rolls around and Alex and I dodder our way feebly towards our bowls of pumpkin soup. It’s such a relief to eat something warming that soothes my shivers, but I’m also swinging biliously between bouts of nausea. We finish our soup glumly and retreat to our beds, lacking the energy or inclination to do anything else. The only thing that keeps
By the time day three rocks around, we’re finally feeling chipper again. Does this mean that we’ve detoxed enough to have reached the shores of purity once more? Or are we just excited to get home and eat? We’re not sure. We’ve both lost weight – the dress I arrived in is now hanging off me, and Alex has cheek bones to die for. We’ve also got some colour in our cheeks. So the detox worked. We’re given some healthy recipes to take home, as well as some delicious vegan snacks, and we’re packed off to spend the day in beautiful Bergamo. Our first stop? A coffee shop. Well… you can’t go to Italy without having an espresso, can you?! ■ Ti Sana offers a range of detox and healthy lifestyle programmes, catered to your needs. The two-day New Year programme is designed to get you in gear for 2013 at a special price of EUR165. Visit 1711.it for more info
predictionmagazine.com January 2013 41
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