Stylistics Magazine by Ross Her

Blizz Magazine 2008

1.50 Weekly publication. 9th-15th October 2008. Nº 1 www.blizzmagazine.co.uk

In our Book Club section, read all about “CRY OUT LOUD”, novel of the year (p. 24 inside)

JORDAN wins wins GOLD and PHILLIPS loses SILVER in Beijing (Sport World, p.25)

THE INVASION OF THE “ARE“ARE-RABBITS” ScaryScary-looking and carrotcarrot-hungry werewere-rabbits are invading us!!! 1

Blizz Magazine 2008 (p.3 inside)

THE INVASION OF THE “ARE“ARE-RABBITS” The rabbits weigh around 70 st and the police qualify them as “highly dangerous” A horde of massive were-rabbits has been ravaging the carrot fields and terrorising the farmers in Devonshire, south of England. Since the attacks started nine days ago, more than 25 farms in the villages of Barnstaple, Bideford and Newton Abbot have been affected by these beta-carotenethirsty monsters which, according to the description of one of the most recent victims, Morris McAllister, 62, “are more than 10 feet tall, furry as hell and smell like manure”. One of the few were-rabbits caught by the police in the arms of Sgt Brenton

The officer in charge of the case, Sergeant Barry Brenton, has pointed to some facts that are common to all the assaults: the were-rabbits are not interested in anything except carrots; they break into the properties at night, never in daylight, and eat their loot right on the spot, polishing off the vegetables in a question of minutes. But even if they are only interested in carrots, there have been some cases in which the wererabbits have attacked the farmers who were trying to defend their properties, according to the testimony of Clark Cavanaugh, 57, bitten by one of these creatures while trying to confront them. Mr Cavanaugh still feels confused about that night, but he claimed to remember “the strong breath of the mountain-like rabbit biting my neck”. As a consequence of this episode, Mr Cavanaugh has developed an abnormal liking for carrots as well as two long, furry ears and huge front teeth, allegedly due to the attack. Because of these attacks, the Devon County Police have classified the were-rabbits as “potentially dangerous” and have asked the population not to abandon their houses after hours since most of them are still to be caught and even more important, to call the authorities immediately instead of trying to subdue the creatures by themselves.

Blizz Magazine 2008

underwear

www.dolceandlahabanna.com

Blizz Magazine 2008

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“CRY OUT LOUD” Zoe Price. Penguin Publishing. 254 pages. Price: $10 Danny has got everything one can ask for: the best job ever, the most gorgeous and lustiest boyfriend and his ideal pet, Brutus, the French bulldog. But this absolute bliss turns to pieces and he is thrust back into reality after finding out that his contract with life is about to expire. The AIDS might have conquered his body, but he won’t let it conquer his soul. With “Cry Out Loud”, Zoe Price repeats the success she achieved with her previous novels, “Chasing the Sun” and “The City Lights”. Candidate for the Bookworm Golden Award 2007, “Cry Out Loud” tells the story of Danny with the perfect mixture of sensitivity, sweetness and wit, as well as approaching one of the 21st-Century-mostdreaded illnesses from a serene and mature point of view. Price’s spellbinding storytelling skills makes this novel absolutely unputdownable, making it one of the must-read of the year. “Hilarious, witty, touching and mature at equal rates. Simply perfect!” Sarah Weiss, The Guardian “The reader of the century, without fear of contradiction. I thought it was impossible to laugh and cry at the same time. And you?” Shia Bhiryat, Bookworm Golden Award winner 2006 “Bound to be the greatest bestseller of all times. Pure passion.” Edgar Haines, The New Yorker

ZOE PRICE

out loud

Cry

Blizz Magazine 2008

Poetry Panel In this week’s Poetry Panel, we’re going to teach you how to write a sonnet. Don’t panic, it’s not that difficult! Amy Evans, one of our readers from Manchester, has devised some steps that you’ll find very useful when it comes to write a sonnet for your boyfriend or girlfriend… ;) 1. Think about a topic you would like to write about. In Amy’s case, for example, she decided to write a sonnet about her favourite jacket, a black leather one. 2. After deciding on the topic, you have to do a Brainstorming exercise: think about words that are related to the topic you’ve chosen. This is the result of Amy’s brainstorming: black leather jacket dream August expensive

decision shop stop protection fear pigeons

spoil posh perfect soft

3. Now that you’ve written down and organised your ideas, it would be a good idea to come up with some synonyms (you can use a dictionary if you want). This will enrich your sonnet and make it more appealing! weather cold shelter protection fear afraid fret

the one perfect spoil dirty expensive dosh (money)

4. Remember that a Shakespearian sonnet (the one we’re working with here) has got a clear and well-defined structure: - 3 quatrains: The first 2 quatrains introduce the topic and the third elaborates it. - 1 couplet: Here is where the sonnet reaches its final resolution, it is some sort of conclusion. 5. Bearing all this in mind, you can actually start writing your sonnet now. We hope you find it useful. Here comes the result… Thanks a million, Amy!!

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ODE TO MY BLACK SHELTER One boiling August morning I spotted you in that shop And I knew that ‘till I got you I wouldn’t stop. You were the one, ideal for me, The perfect jacket, the garment of my dreams. You are made out of leather To protect me from cold weather. I am afraid and always fretting That some damned pigeon makes you dirty. With the finest skin and softest touch A hundred euros weren’t that much. Shall I care about dosh When you make me look so posh? My protection, my black shelter, A piece of sky made out of leather.

Brilliant, isn’t it? If you, like Amy, want your work published, we give you the opportunity. Send a letter to:

BLIZZ MAGAZINE Ref: Poetry Panel 7, Brunswick Row LO11 2QY LONDON Or simply send an e-mail with your name, address and telephone number to: www.blizzmagazine.co.uk (If you’re underage, remember that you need explicit permission from your parents or legal tutors)

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SHEFFIELD SHEER SHAME Benjamin O’Malley. SHEFFIELD__________________________________________________ Who could have imagined that what was supposed to be a normal football match would turn into an utter nightmare? Hillsborough Stadium witnessed last night one more of the usual horrific football games to which Sheffield supporters have already got used this season, the match being a festival of red cards, sending-offs and stupid own goals; but this is not the worst that happened last night according to referee Russell

Adamson, 54 , who had to be taken to hospital after being beaten by a horde of raging hooligans whose blood was boiling due to the miserable spectacle that Sheffield United was offering them on being beaten by the Scottish 3rd division bottom team, Dumbarton FC. The twenty hooligans burst into the pitch carrying all sorts of weapons such as brass knuckles, flick-knives and even small foldable

truncheons (how they got around the security measures is still under investigation) and unleashed all their anger and frustration for the result of the match on Mr. Adamson, causing him several internal bleedings, breaking his spleen and fracturing five of his ribs. The attackers were handcuffed and arrested on the spot, and taken to Killamarsh Police Station and will appear before the judge tomorrow.

WINS WINS AND WOES IN ENGLISH ATHLETICS Ashley Riggs. BEIJING__________________________________________________________ The bright young hope of English athletics, Mark Jordan, won yesterday the Gold Medal in high jump in the World Athletics Championship, which is being celebrated in Beijing. Jordan cleared 4.97 m, thus setting a new World Record on beating the former record holder, the Russian athlete Vladimir Yashchenko (WR: 4.93 m, 2004)

quantities of EPO in her system. As it is known, this hormone increases the level of oxygen in the blood, thus boosting up the runner’s resistance. Because of this fact, its use is strictly forbidden in sports competitions, so it is likely that PhillipsStanton will lose her Silver Medal. In spite of these accusations, the English athlete claims innocence and will ask for a counter analysis to prove the wrongness of the results, which she thinks to have been “altered by some corrupt doctor who has been bribed by another delegation”

However, the bad news for the English delegation was the disqualification of Marion Phillips-Stanton, 100m hurdles Silver Medal winner, who is being accused of doping after the result of her blood test showed high

Blizz Magazine 2008

If a job is worth doing,

itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth doing well

Blizz Magazine 2008

One of our readers from Paris, Robert Doisneau, came across this photograph taken long ago by his grandfather, Robert Doisneau Senior, and has sent it to us, enclosing a poem he wrote inspired in the picture. “It’s one of the most beautiful photographs I’ve ever seen, so I think it deserves a tribute“, said the author in his letter. BLIZZ agrees with you, Robert. Thanks a million for your letter! Paris, the City of Lights, City of Lovers, Two souls entwined, two souls made one, Passers-by ignoring their bodies touching, their lips matching in a wet and tender kiss. A kiss like this, with which the world stops. A kiss like this, with which nothing else matters. A kiss illuminating this path of grief called Life. A kiss, so brief and ever-lasting, so soft and so firm. The man at the coffee table sighs, The man in the beret ignores their bliss, The lady behind them feels moved, “It’s been long since I’m not given such a kiss” His sheltering arms protecting her, Her whole body yielding to him Cars, people, winter in the street, Love, passion, summer in their hearts. People rushing. Lovers loving.

Blizz Magazine 2008

This week in our section for people’s opinion we are going to ask citizens about the controversial law that the Government might pass in the next few weeks:

What do you think about homosexual couples being allowed to adopt? Ralph, 59, Pensioner__________________________________________________________ “Well, I don’t think it’s very normal that two fathers or two mothers have a child. But it’s not as if I lose any sleep over such things, either. Let’s say 51% to “No” and 49% to “Let them do as they wish”.

Josephine, 56, Housewife_____________________________________________________ “They can love each other as much as they want, but let the children alone. Anyway, as I see it, two lesbian women would be better prepared when it comes to raise their son or daughter, because a mother is always a mother, regardless of her faults”.

Roxanne, 33, Tourist guide____________________________________________________ “If orphan children live in an orphanage, the attention they are being paid and the education they are receiving cannot be as good as if they were part of a family, where they are going to be loved and looked after. In my opinion, the gender of those family members is totally irrelevant. Apart from this, belonging to “traditional” families doesn’t necessarily mean that the child’s upbringing is going to be easy and 100% satisfactory just because he or she lives in a heterosexual environment.”

Alfred, 28, Computer programmer____________________________________________ “This is a very controversial topic and quite delicate, too, which requires to be deeply studied. We have to take into account both the parents’ and the child’s rights particularly the latter. I can’t tell you, however, the extent to which the child might be affected by the clearly differentiating, though not necessarily negative fact of having two fathers or two mothers.

Blizz Magazine 2008 As far as I’m concerned, the most important aspect to analyse is how this circumstance is going to affect the child in one of the key periods of his or her life, which is childhood-adolescence. Anyway, I don’t think that this experience can be carried out successfully because this country is a piece of shit, full of reactionary and nauseating people, and that’s the way it works”.

Charles, 23, Painter__________________________________________________________ “For me, it’s OK. Well, actually it’s the same for me, they are perfectly within their rights, why not?

Veronica, 22, Teacher________________________________________________________ “Well, as I see it, a family is always a family, whoever composes it. It’s not fair to prevent someone from being a parent just because they love people from their same sex. It’s time we left prejudices behind and started being more tolerant, everybody should live and let live. Moreover, it’s possible that those children adopted by homosexual couples get to be better people because they will have been raised in a tolerant environment. It is true, though, that this circumstance is not usual, it’s not what we are accustomed to, so it could be a good idea to put psychologists and social workers at the service of both children and parents to help them overcome possible moments of confusion that can be triggered by friends, relatives and even schoolmates during the earliest periods of a child’s development.

Elizabeth, 51, Cleaner________________________________________________________ “I think that they are within their rights, I’m not actually against their adopting children, but we are used to having a mother and a father, and the child...Well, I don’t know how to put it. How do you get a child to understand this circumstance? Look, it’s the same with Adam and Eve. What would happen if we, who are used to wearing clothes in the streets, started going out all naked? It’d be shocking, wouldn’t it? It’d be transgressive. As I said before, I think that they have the right to adopt as long as they are human beings, but I’m not sure if it’d be positive for the children, who might be better off belonging to a normal family, I reckon”

Blizz Magazine 2008

THE 4TH WALL Drama fans, welcome back to your favourite section. This week we are offering you a new episode of the amateur play “The Court of Desire”, by the bright hope of English drama, John T. Wilkinson. In last week’s issue, Veyron catches his fiancée red-handed, having sex with another man in her house. In this number, we are going to enjoy his tragic and overwhelming soliloquy and his attempt to commit suicide, thwarted at the last minute by his fiancée. But, how will she explain herself? We hope you enjoy the reading!

Act 4, Scene 1 [On top of a cliff in Scarborough] [Enters Veyron]

VEYRON: Oh, vain skies, who allowed me to fall into this pit of misery! Oh, cruel Heaven, who thrust me upon this abyss of humiliation! Damned be the hour when my tired feet, covered in the path’s dust enter’d that room of sodomy, depravation and endless lust. God, let my eyes be eaten by a crow so’s they don’t witness such a shame again. My dear fiancée, my lover, my Gemini, being impaled by a wicked and hairy satyr. Like Judas betrayed our Lord Jesus Christ, thou hast betrayed me, Like greedy noblemen betray their lawful king, thou hast betrayed me. Oh, all-forgiving stars! Receive me in your bosom, suicide is the only way out of this agony. Let the sharp blade of this dagger enter my guts, Let this dreadful knife pierce my body so that my soul escapes, so that my maimed heart stops beating in this world of grief. I have been cover’d with a shroud of shame, mocked, scorned, Is there, then, anything left in this world worth living for? Nay, nay! There is not. My reputation has been killed like Brutus killed Caesar with a cursed plot! Farewell, life. Away with dishonour! [Brandishing a dagger] Cleanse my soul, dagger... [His fiancée, Miranda, enters right on time to prevent him form stabbing himself]

Blizz Magazine 2008 MIRANDA: Stop, you fool! Don’t let your blood be shed without a reason. VEYRON: Without a reason, you mean? MIRANDA: Without a reason, I mean. VEYRON: Could Her Highness explain herself? MIRANDA: She could. VEYRON: Could she? MIRANDA: She could. VEYRON: I don’t think so. MIRANDA: You’re wrong. VEYRON: I don’t want to listen to you. MIRANDA: You have to. VEYRON: I think that my eyes have seen enough and my ears aren’t ready to hear so shameful a narration. MIRANDA: It’s not your sight what is corrupted, but your mind. VEYRON: It’s my wife who is corrupted, not my mind. MIRANDA: What you witnessed is not disgrace, but the tailor measuring my hips for a new dress. VEYRON: He must be really short-sighted if he needs to touch that much. MIRANDA: You speak true there. VEYRON: And wherefore was he naked? MIRANDA: The room was too hot and we couldn’t breathe. VEYRON: There you might be right, since he was panting like a dog. Now I see it clear. MIRANDA: You do? Hem, I mean...Shame on you to mistrust your loving girlfriend. [with feigned tone of outrage]

VEYRON: Right you are. Let me compensate you, let me fix this wrong. What can I do? MIRANDA: You can say sorry, to start with. VEYRON: Sorry, dear. MIRANDA: You can kneel down. VEYRON: [Kneeling] I’m down on my knees for you. I prithee, forgive my wicked soul. I need you so. I beg you, marry me! MIRANDA: Marry you? VEYRON: Marry me! MIRANDA: That’s settled, then. VEYRON: Will you? MIRANDA: I will. VEYRON: Thank God, let my corrupted eyes and rotten thoughts enjoy the bliss that this woman makes me feel with her acceptance. MIRANDA: Yes, but I hope you own many acres of land, much land is needed to make up for your offence. [Exeunt Miranda and Veyron. Miranda winks an eye to the audience and the curtain draws upon the stage]

Blizz Magazine 2008

GOOSEBUMPS!! A promise is always a promise, and we’ve kept ours. You’ve been waiting for too long… Imagine spending ten days in one of the most beautiful and spooky areas areas of Romania, Romania walking around the castles where Dracula lived and many people died…

WINNER OF THE DRACULA ROUTE TOUR: GREG PALMER, STOKESTOKE-ONON-TRENT, NOTTINGHAMSHIRE.

Greg’s story has made our hair stand on end, has made us feel part of the story. We at BLIZZ believe that, from among the great number of hi-quality tales, Greg’s deserves to be the winner of this fantastic trip. Don’t worry, next time it could be youuuuuuuuuu!!

When they dragged me into that hospital I felt outraged. As I saw it, they had no right to take me there against my will. ‘Release me or you’ll regret it!’, I kept saying. ‘But, S-Sir, y-you need to be assisted!’, stuttered a tonsured monk while he carried me past the cloisters and headed towards that crumbling building they called hospital. Its façade, formerly whitewashed, was filthy, with streaks of dirt running down the wall. Not only that, it also presented cracks where the mortar hadn’t had time to dry up before they carried on building, such was the need to finish the hospital as soon as possible. The reason for this rush was the deathly outbreak of Bubonic plague that was devastating the city, having already wiped the lives of half the population. Those still alive could hardly cope with the daily increasing number of victims, and the old hospital where pilgrims and visitors stayed was already packed with both plague victims and peasants with stomach upsets, diarrhoea and other minor problems. Therefore, the need for a new hospital was pressing. 15

Blizz Magazine 2008 When I was taken into the room, feverish and delirious as I was, my nostrils were assaulted by a bittersweet smell that I couldn’t identify at first, but finally when I got used to it, I was able to discern what it was: a mixture of sweat, vomit, urine and blood, the typical hospital stench. I felt like throwing up myself, but my own weakness made it impossible. I looked around the crammed hall and saw dozens of cadaverous faces lying on straw mattresses stained with the blood that came from their noses, filling the room with the foul smell of sickness. Some of them were already dead, but the nurses hadn’t realised it yet, so busy and outnumbered they were. The waning light coming in through the small windows scattered along the hall cast phantasmagorical, long shadows which made my hair rise. I reprimanded myself for being so weak and womanish. ‘You’re a knight, you know better than this. Don’t let them scare you…’ Suddenly all those corpses dressed in rags opened wide their half-closed eyes and started to stretch their bony fingers at me, trying to lull me into their pits of despair and disease. Groaning and convulsing, they fought to get out of bed and staggered towards me, their groans becoming tormented screams and their appearance turning into that of a fiendish creature. Pulling my bloodstained linen tunic with all their might, the devils took me away from my cot and a strangled cry of agony remained stuck in my throat. I was about to die, I knew…I would burn in the eternal fires of hell, with those demoniac figures pestering and torturing me, inflicting me endless pain for my sinning soul… I regained consciousness two weeks later. My mattress was drenched in sweat, my body ached and I felt weak and terribly thirsty. ‘Water…’, I moaned. A charitable soul brought me a jug full of crystalline water, which I downed in one gulp. But I wanted more. I felt as if the ocean wouldn’t be enough to quench my thirst. I made an effort and sat upright, casting a look around the room. I noticed the smell of consumption, putrid and fermented, in those bodies infected by the plague, delirious and convulsing. I couldn’t stand that suffocating atmosphere any longer, I had to escape. You could almost see the disease spreading from one body to the next and it was unbearable…

Blizz Magazine 2008

A WORLD OF NEWS By Lorna Campbell ______________________________________________________________________________________ More blood is being shed these days in the already war-beaten area of Mosul, Iraq. Two new terrorist attacks have devastated the city and killed 400 civilians and three Reuters journalists. The last attack, two days ago, was particularly virulent, killing 150 people who were attending a public celebration in one of the most battered districts of Mogul. The two kamikazes were wrapped in a belt carrying 3 kilos of explosives each and caused total havoc. Peter McAllister, one of the Reuters journalists who survived the attack, has agreed to give Blizz an interview. Q: Hello, Mr. McAllister. Welcome back to England and thank you for your kindness. A: Hello, it’s a pleasure. Q: Mr. McAllister, there’s one question that I keep asking myself ever since I knew I was going to interview you: What makes a journalist accept a job in the middle of a war? A: Well, that’s a difficult one…I suppose that in my case it was the desire for adventure. I’ve always liked risk and I’ve always liked journalism, so it was the perfect combination. Moreover, I particularly think that conflicts should be reported from the spot, all the brutality and savageness must be heard and seen to raise people’s consciousness. Q: And aren’t you afraid? A: Of course I am, but I can’t just lock myself up in a room and cry waiting for others to do my job. It was my decision and I have to grin and bear it. Then, there’s also the fact that you don’t think much about death when you’re working, at least not in my case. Q: Mr. McAllister, I presume that you will still be in shock after seeing two of your workmates die right beside you. A: Definitely. It’s one of the most difficult moments I’ve ever lived, hearing their cries of agony and not being able to help them. I’m so lucky to be alive… Q: Could you describe us the panorama after the attack?

Blizz Magazine 2008 A: It was impossible to breathe, we were choking because of the smoke, At the beginning we couldn’t see anything but after a few seconds we could make out people crying all over the place, trying to revive their relatives, there were men and women soaked in their and others’ blood, dragging people away from the centre of the massacre…It was horrific. Q: What was your family’s reaction after seeing you come back safe and sound? A: You can imagine. Everybody was crying of happiness, except my baby daughter, who was crying for food (Laughs). No, seriously they were relieved. Q: I suppose that they will have forbidden you to go back to Iraq? A: Sure, they have. But I’m waiting for this sad episode to end and return to my duty, keep people informed and alert. Q: Thanks very much for your time and kindness, Mr. McAllister. A: Anytime, thanks to you for this opportunity.

Martin S., John K. and George L., the Reuters journalists killed in the last terrorist attack to Mogul.

Peter McAllister, work colleague of the three journalists killed in Mogul.

Blizz Magazine 2008