When things work against you

The following article was submitted by Esther Teneth.

A social worker, social change agent and an author. She is a self-published author of five self-help books carrying the following titles: Breadfor NormalFunctionality , Outof theCrowd , PowerofSelfAssessment , BeforeWePart Waysand DearGraduate which deliver strategies that provide redemption for various life setbacks, and give direction to boost holistic human development.

Life is full of challenges and setbacks, but how we respond to them makes all the difference. Some people let negative emotions overwhelm them and resort to destructive strategies to cope. Others learn to embrace negative results with a positive attitude and use them as opportunities for growth and improvement.

I used to belong to the first group. I would isolate myself, blame myself, avoid taking risks, hold grudges, and fear rejection. I felt like a failure and a victim of circumstances. But then I realized that I had to take charge of my own happiness and well-being. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and change my perspective.

I learned to accept that things don’t always go as planned and that bad things happen to good people. I learned to be more open-minded and empathetic. I learned to focus on the things that I can control and let go of the things that I can’t. I learned to celebrate my achievements and learn from my mistakes.

Of course, I still face negative situations from time to time. But instead of giving up or feeling sorry for myself, I look for the silver lining and the lesson in every challenge. I see every obstacle as an opportunity to grow and improve.

For example, if I get rejected after a job interview or an application, I don’t quit searching for other opportunities. I ask for feedback and try to improve my skills and qualifications. If I face unfair treatment or discrimination, I don’t let it define me or limit me. I seek justice and stand up for my rights. If I experience a break-up or a loss, I don’t lose hope or faith in love. I heal myself and open my heart to new possibilities.

One of the current issues that illustrates the importance of turning negative situations into positive opportunities is the case of some standard eight pupils in Dedza, Dowa and other districts who failed to write their national exams due to some corrupt deeds of some teachers in handling pupils’ examination fees. Imagine how devastating it must be for them and their parents. They worked hard and prepared for their exams, only to be denied the chance to cross over to form one.

But instead of giving up on their dreams or resorting to violence or crime, they can use this setback as a motivation to work harder and smarter. They can seek alternative ways to pursue their education, such as online courses or scholarships. They can also join forces with other pupils and parents who are facing the same problem and demand accountability and transparency from the authorities.

The bottom line is that we all have the power to turn negative situations into positive opportunities. It is not easy, but it is possible and necessary. By doing so, we can enhance our holistic development and contribute positively to our society.