Kids S TA R T I N G H I G H S C H O O L Moving to a new school or transitioning from primary to high school, is a big life change for kids. It can be exciting with the promise of new experiences, but it can also be challenging and worrying. The best way to help is by making sure children are prepared and feel supported. Kids have mixed feelings about starting secondary school. It’s a heady combination of excitement and nerves about; new friends, subjects, teachers, new routines, making friends, uniforms, workload, or fitting in. Parents can also worry about whether their children will have the confidence and skills to handle all the changes. Secondary school also means a move from the familiar to the unknown – and a whole new way of doing things. Parents have the biggest influence on how smooth the transition is. Friends also impact how a child feels about the move, but parental support has stronger and longer-lasting effects. You can help to ease any worries your child has about starting secondary school by preparing your child beforehand.
Dealing with worries Talk with children about what they are most looking forward to and nervous about. Really listen when kids share and reassure them that it’s normal to worry about going to secondary school. Encourage them to focus on the positives. For example, highlight the new opportunities they will have by talking about extracurricular activities at the new school. Talk about friendships. For example, ask what their friends are saying about secondary school. Also talk about how they
might keep in touch with old friends and make new friends at high school.
Relationships Kids will need a lot of reassurance about meeting new peers and making new friends and establishing or re-establishing their position within a new peer group. It’s normal to worry and let them know that finding friends that are a ‘good fit’ for them can take time. Encourage your child to invite new friends over, or be ready to transport your child to play dates. Discovering new opportunities, like trying a new sport or joining a drama class, are great ways to meet new friends and get involved in school.
Schoolwork Kids will need to adapt to new teaching and assessment styles, cope with a wide range of subjects, adjust to having different teachers in different classrooms, become more responsible for their learning, manage a heavier and more complicated work load, become more computer literate, and manage a new, complex timetable.
Getting around They will have to adjust to a new school campus, find their way around, get to class on time with the right books and materials, and possibly cope with new
transport arrangements.
schoolwork or new activities
Transition Try to arrange for a parent, grandparent or other close adult to be home before and after school for the first few weeks. Find out the name of the teacher responsible for your child’s overall care, then introduce yourself as early as possible. Make home comfortable for study time. For example, make sure your child has a quiet place to study, away from distractions.
Feelings Be prepared for ups and downs. Adjusting to change takes time, but if things don’t stabilise after the first term, talk to your child’s homeroom teacher. Remind children that it’s normal to feel nervous about starting something new –you could share how nervous and excited you feel when starting a new job. Talk to other parents to check whether your child’s experiences are similar to those of others. Sporting and school events are good opportunities to meet other parents. Make sure your child eats well, has plenty of physical activity and gets lots of sleep. The change to secondary school will make them more tired at first.
• Doesn’t talk with you about school or friends • Seems low on confidence or self-esteem – your child might say he’s dumb or nobody likes them • Is getting lower marks If your child is struggling don’t wait for things to improve on their own. Try to get them talking about their feelings, let them know that feeling worried is normal, and see whether you can work out some strategies together. But if things don’t improve within a couple of weeks, consider speaking with the teacher, year coordinator, councillor or GP. Talking to other parents, particularly those who have already gone through high school transition, often helps. It might ease your mind to know that most children find things a little hard at first but settle in during the year. Also, other parents who are experienced at the school can give you tips about how things work at the new school.
Stay calm. If you’re calm and reassuring, you’ll give your child more confidence to get through the tough parts. Keep talking.
Don’t be surprised if your kids don’t want you to be as visible at high school as you might have been during the primary years. But they’ll still need family support outside of school, and that it’s all part of the way kids develop greater independence.
Signs of difficulty
learningpotential.gov.au
• Doesn’t want to go to school, or refuses to go
education.qld.gov.au
• Say feel sick on Sunday nights
raisingchildren.net.au
• Doesn’t seem interested in
T I P S F O R S TA R T I N G H I G H S C H O O L 1. Expectations Talk about what to expect before school starts so they’re aware of the changes. Discuss different strategies to help them manage. Go to open days.
2. Friendships Give kids a few ideas about how to make new friends. Remind them that everyone else will be nervous too. Encourage them to try and talk to someone they don’t know on their first day – the other child will really appreciate it – & your child will have a new companion for the day.
3. Positivity Listen to concerns but point out the positives. Talk about the opportunities – more independence, different facilities & equipment, more extracurricular activities, more tech, & new subjects. Remind them of other challenges they’ve overcome successfully.
4. Extracurricular Before school starts, sit down with your child & look at the range of activities available at their new school. Which activities might they like to get involved in.
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5. Get organised Use a planner to record homework, stay organised and manage workload. Encourage a study routine for homework each afternoon & to stick to this same routine. This will help develop the time management skills needed.
6. Goals Write down some goals before school starts – social & extracurricular, as well as academic. This will help to motivate through the busy first term & help them feel more in control. Setting goals also helps them take more responsibility for learning & development.
