5 minute read
SINGLE PARENTING YOUR CHILD WITH A DISABILITY
By Dr. Ron I. Malcolm, EdD
EVEN IN THE BEST SITUATIONS, RAISING A CHILD WITH A DISABILITY AND TWO INVOLVED PARENTS CAN PRESENT A CASCADE OF DAILY CHALLENGES. NAVIGATING THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF PARENTING AS A “SINGLE PARENT” OFTEN OFFERS EVEN MORE TRIALS. HERE ARE 10 SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO ASSIST WITH THE CHALLENGE OF RAISING A CHILD WITH EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS AS A SINGLE PARENT.
1INVOLVE THE OTHER PARENT You may be dealing with a divorce situation or possibly never having been married to your partner. However, even if the other parent does not live in your home, consider letting them care for their child on the weekends. This is particularly true if they are a trusted and safe adult. Research has shown any child being raised by two parents often does better in school and in life in general. While you may not have the option of having the other parent directly in your home, they can still be directly involved with their child. This will give you a necessary break and the opportunity for your child to interact with another trustworthy adult. 2GET INVOLVED IN AFTER-SCHOOL ACTIVITIES Consider involving your child in an after-school activity. Many children with disabilities develop a passion for art, drama, music, or sports. The greatest thing about being involved in after-school activities is that it generally doesn’t require any additional transportation concerns for you as a single parent. Your child generally will complete their day at school and go directly to the after-school activity. This also allows them to socialize with a range of peers.
3USE BABYSITTERS Many single parents of children with disabilities experience a lot of anxiety with the idea of leaving their children
with disabilities with babysitters. However, there are many experienced babysitters within the community. Many of us as teenagers were drawn to children with disabilities, which is one of the main reasons we became teachers working specifically with children with disabilities.
Babysitters can watch children in your own home if you initially provide the babysitter with some training on how to specifically take care of your child with a disability. Having a trained babysitter accessible to you can allow you to run some necessary errands while your child enjoys their time at home with an appropriate peer with whom to interact.
4SIGN UP FOR COMMUNITY PROGRAMS The local YMCA provides some wonderful after-school or weekend programs. They have staff that may be specifically trained in how to interact and work with your child with a disability. Many schools provide bussing directly to the YMCA from schools. However, if transportation is not provided, perhaps your child could carpool with another family that is also going to the YMCA. For a nominal fee, your child could receive swimming lessons, become involved in yoga or martial arts, take babysitting classes that could lead to them becoming a certified babysitter, take a gymnastic class, etc.
5CONNECT WITH GRANDPARENTS Grandparents are a wonderful resource for families. They could come to your house to interact with and take care of your child. Your child could even go to their grandparents’ house for a “sleepover” and provide you with a full day or evening free to do whatever you want to do. It is amazing the benefits your child with a disability can obtain by simply baking some cookies with grandparents, walking their dog, helping them with yard work, or other simple tasks.
6FIND PROGRAMS THROUGH PLACES OF WORSHIP There are many programs available to your child free of charge that occur at churches. Some places of worship offer Sunday School classes, children’s church programs, summer day camps, after-school tutoring programs, mid-week children’s programs, and more. These programs can allow your child with a disability to interact socially with other children and develop possible friendships that can last a lifetime.
7ACCEPT A FRIEND’S OFFER TO HELP Many single parents are often approached by their friends and told, “Let me know if there is ever anything you need.” Yet, many single parents just politely decline. I would challenge you to take your well-meaning and trusted friends up on their offer to assist you with your child. Your friends can come to your home, or your child could go to their home or on a day trip with your friends. It is amazing how well-rested you can become with a simple “nap” or just an opportunity to get some loads of laundry done uninterrupted.
8UTILIZE RESPITE CARE You may be fortunate enough to have insurance that will cover the cost of “respite” care. This service generally provides trained personnel that will come and take care of your child with a disability. You may also have your child involved with a local agency that allows you to access “respite” care. This can allow both you and your child with a disability to have a break from each other.
9RELY ON OTHER SINGLE PARENTS Remember, you are not the only single parent in the community dealing with a child with a disability. Locating other single parents within your community can allow you to share resources with each other. Perhaps one parent could volunteer to carpool their child as well as yours to events at school or within the community. In return, you could host a “sleepover” event that would allow them to have a night off knowing their child with a disability is in a safe and loving environment. Sharing your frustrations and daily challenges with another single parent, even one who is not raising a child with a disability, can be extremely liberating and comforting.
10LOOK AT DAYCARE AS AN OPTION Finally, you may want to look at your local daycare options in the community. Meet with the director and educate them on your child’s disability and the accommodations they may require. You may be surprised that the staff has already had experience with children with disabilities in their programs. Daycare may provide a fun and educational environment for your child.
Dr. Ronald I. Malcolm is an Assistant Director of Special Education for a public school district, an Associate Faculty Member with the University of Phoenix, and a Special Graduate Faculty member at the University of Kansas. He has bachelor’s level degrees in English and Special Education. He holds master’s level degrees in Counseling, Special Education, and School Administration. His doctorate degree is from Northern Arizona University in Educational Leadership. His post graduate degrees are in positive behavior supports and autism spectrum disorders. He has worked for the past 37 years with students between the ages of three to 21 with various health-related concerns in both school and community-based settings.
