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#236 | July 2022 • Tammuz 5782

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| JEWISH SOUL

The Essence of Leadership

10 | JEWISH THOUGHT

Feeding Faith

His love for his disciples and followers to whom he expounded the inner secrets of the Torah was only matched by his love for his fellow Jew in some distant country.

Sometimes, it’s hard to know where to start describing someone whose vision was so vast and who influenced the world and so many people in so many ways, myself included. So maybe that’s a good place to start.

— From the Rebbe's letters

— by Yoseph Janowski

12 | ASK THE RABBI

editorial jewish soul made you think jewish thought perspectives ask the rabbi our community simchas

| MADE YOU THINK

The Education Crisis

The Metaphysics of Dollars

The evidence is clear and conclusive: Education of the young is the key to preserving spiritual identity. But how? What practical steps can we take? And who will lead the way?

I’ve heard that people used to visit the Rebbe and he would hand out dollar bills when giving meeting them and giving them blessings. What is the meaning of this dollar distribution?

— by Simon Jacobson

— by Rabbi Yoseph Y. Zaltzman

18 | LIFE ON EARTH

| JEWISH THOUGHT

Leadership: Defining Reality

Love Yourself?

One of the gifts of great leaders is that they frame reality. They define its situation. They specify its aims. They articulate its choices. They tell us where we are and where we are going.

You must love yourself, and at the same time, you must be totally fed up with yourself. There's your peel, and there's your banana. Don't fall in love with the packaging or you'll never get to eat the fruit inside.

— by Jonathan Sacks

— by Tzvi Freeman

life on earth marketplace memorials

4 5 6 8 10 12 13 17 18 21 25

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One of the greatest paradoxes in education, whether it comes to educating others or educating oneself on the path to of personal growth and enlightenment, is the struggle between quantity and quality. Indeed the paradox extends to almost every area of life, from relationships to career development: Should I amass volume by striving to accomplish more, or should I concentrate on fewer things and focus on doing them right? Educational models fall short when they fail to strike the right balance in answering this question. One hundred years ago, no one went to school beyond age 12, except for gifted students who were destined to join the scholarly, academic elite. Everyone else went to work on the family farm or business as shoemakers, carpenters, and the like. Then the economy started shifting to a knowledgebased economy. One hundred years ago, 70% of people were farmers. Today, 4% are farmers. To survive in a knowledge-based economy, one need more knowledge. As the knowledge economy grew, more people had to go to school in order to enter the workforce. The problem is that the system of learning used in schools today is the same system that was used to educate the geniuses when only the geniuses went to school. The system was designed for a student population in which everyone is at the same level. Back then, when only geniuses went to school, it worked. But when you have a group of kids at various levels of social and intellectual and tactical development all mixed together in a system designed for homogeneity, what happens is that system forces the kids into more manageable boxes, creating a mold of the average student, and attempting to sculpt every student in that same mold. What we ended up with is an education system that by definition breeds mediocrity. A student who finds himself at either end of the spectrum - either exceptionally gifted or "special needs" - is at a disadvantage in such a system. The unique and the gifted are stifled and repressed. The mediocre, or those

who learn to contort their uniqueness into the mold of mediocrity, are the ones who strive. In the mad dash toward quantity — churning out a certain percentage of students with a specific body of knowledge who bear a set standard and method of mental acuity so that they can attain an acceptable benchmark of functional intelligence that guarantees them a desirable place in the marketplace so they can meet the minimum requirements of financial stability — any semblance of individuality or creativity is tossed aside. In our incessant pursuit of quantity, we lose the quality. But the opposite extreme would also be destructive: An unhealthy obsession with quality can lead us to get stuck and accomplish nothing. Einstein taught that you need both, and that quantity and quality have a transformative effect one another. But you don’t have to be an Einstein to understand how they complement each other. E=MC2. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. In order to attain balance in a relative universe, you need to strike a balance between quality and quantity. Energy, quality, can emanate into the word only by channeling it into the parameters of space and time. Mass, quantity, can create energy, or enhance quality, when it is multiplied and infused with light. On their own, each can be powerful. Mass movements have the ability to affect instant and decisive change, even when built upon lies and leading to destructive ends. Moments of clarity and epiphany can enable us to overcome then greatest darkness, even if they are never developed or expounded. But only when we fuse the two together, do we touch the purpose of existence to make goodness and light fill the entire world. We can get there by taking qualitative experiences and funneling them into the finite world, using the tools at out fingertips to let them shine forth. Or we can get there by taking quantitative experiences of mass consciousness and insisting that they be infused with true goodness and light. Either way, we arrive at the same destination.

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jewish soul

The Essence

Leadership

From the Rebbe's Letters

n the course of his allotted life-span on this earth, my father-in-law had seen and contended with, many different worlds. But whether it was under Czarist Russia or under Soviet Russia, during the two world wars or during their aftermaths, in the Old World or in the New — he was always the indefatigable Jewish leader, dedicated heart and soul to the spiritual and material wellbeing of our people. Exemplifying a pattern of leadership which is the heritage of his illustrious ancestor, the Alter Rebbe, author of the Tanya and Code of Jewish Law (on whose Yahrzeit this letter is written), my father-in law was as vitally concerned with the Aleph-Beit child as with the advanced Yeshivah student, and his love for his disciples and followers to whom he expounded the inner secrets of the Torah was only matched by his love for his fellow Jew in some distant country, deprived of the most elementary educational facilities. Jewish education was his primary concern, and the same spirit of dedication permeated his emissaries who pioneered in many an educational field under his inspiring initiative and guidance. This work truly expressed the unity of our people through the Torah which, on every level from Aleph-Beit to innermost mystical secrets, is the unifying force, uniting the one people by means of the one Torah to the One G‑d.

With regard to your efforts in relation to the ... , and the caution which some of them counsel about the dissemination of Torah and Mitzvoth among them, I certainly cannot agree with that view. The best proof that such an attitude is unjustified is to be found in the fact that hardly anything has been achieved by ... for the attitude of "caution" has only paralyzed action. This is all the more regrettable in view of the fact that conditions are generally conducive to vigorous action in order to take advantage of the general religious awakening on the American Jewish scene. Many are the searchers who are waiting for religious leadership and guidance that would give them the feeling that it is

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

the truth, and the full truth, and not any watered-down, half-hearted kind of Judaism, which is self-contradictory and self-defeating. Thus it is sad to say that the voice of ... if it has been heard at all, has certainly not been heard with sufficient authority and emphasis as one might have expected. Needless to say, I do not wish to minimize whatever ... has accomplished internally, in the way of mutual encouragement within the membership itself. At the same time, one cannot be satisfied when the resources are utilized to the extent of only 1% instead of 100%, by way of example, especially in critical times such as at present. I also feel impelled to express my suspicion that the reason why... counsel caution, is to be found in their basic inferiority complex, feeling ashamed of being regarded as observant Jews, or publicizing the fact. I need hardly enlarge upon the terrible consequences of such an inferiority complex. Suffice it to remember that it is largely responsible for the so-called "lost generation" which has become more than a coin word. It is truly a cause for shame and pain when one sees an orthodox young man who has both a Rabbinical ordination as well as an academic

diploma, yet the whole emphasis is placed on the college degree without mentioning the fact that he is also a Rabbi, except perhaps absent-mindedly. The subject is too painful to elaborate. I only mention this in the hope that a little reflection on the basic reasons for the above mentioned attitude to go about very cautiously in regard to propaganda and influence for the cause of the Torah and Mitzvoth, will reveal the true psychological factors and bring about a change in this attitude, which has hampered the proper functioning of the Association and its members, collectively and individually, leaving them almost insensible to the inner outcry of American Jewish youth thirsting for the truth, and there is no truth but the Torah. The subject has often been mentioned during a Farbrengen, with emphasis on spiritual charity, the importance of which can be inferred from material charity. As for the latter, there is a very impressive episode related in the Talmud (Ketubot 67a, at the beginning of the page) about the terrible consequences of not giving the fullest measure of material aid to the needy, even though the aid in itself may be considerable, but certainly not commensurate with the ability. EM

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made you think

The Education Crisis Simon Jacobson

here is an educational crisis in guaranteeing a Jewish future. Check out the following fascinating statistic: Worldwide intermarriage is currently over 72%. In some places it has reached an astronomical 90%. Ten cities (outside of Israel) have a substantial lower rate of intermarriage: Manchester, Toronto, Baltimore, Melbourne, Sydney, Johannesburg, Cape Town, Antwerp, San Paulo and Monterey. One common denominator distinguishes these cities from all others: Over 75% of Jewish children receive a Jewish education. In New York by contrast, the largest Jewish city in the world, only 12.5% of the Jewish children attend a Jewish school. Only 6% of all Jewish children in the United States attend Jewish Day Schools. The evidence is clear and conclusive: Education of the young is the key to preserving spiritual identity. But how? How do we change the current state of education? What practical steps can we take? And who will lead the way? Half the cure of a problem is identifying it. Wise questions are half the solution. Any unsuccessful institution – in our case, Jewish education which is failing our youth – is flawed in one or both of two ways: 1) The institution itself is not working. 2) The target audience it is trying to reach is not interested. As a framework, let us break down the problem into several categories, which can actually be seen as a type of survey, questions that welcome your answers.

Which brings us finally to the education system itself: What exactly is wrong with our educational systems and methods that simply do not speak to the masses?

First the institutions: Is the problem with the institutions themselves? Are they not serving the needs of – or communicating their services effectively to – the wider population? Or are the existing institutions simply unequipped to serve the secular Jewish population? If so, what types of new institutions need to be created that will attract wider audiences? Now to the target audience: Why do most parents not see Jewish education as a priority? How do we make it a major priority?

For one, many stereotypes, some fed by continuing attitudes, haunt Judaism. The prevailing opinion is that Judaism, and religion in general, is archaic, primitive – a throwback to the past. In one word: Irrelevant to contemporary life. Even those that feel a need for religion and faith do not find the need met in existing institutions. The problem becomes infinitely compounded when you add into the equation the decelerating cycle of lack of education, and resulting ignorance and assimilation. In its ruins, we are left with a vicious cycle of symptoms feeding the root problem, and vice versa.

Here are some of the most common problems in – or attitudes to – the current educational system. Fear vs. Love Some argue that there is a lack of discipline in our educational institutions. Citing the verse, He who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him (Proverbs 13:24), they advocate the need to instill fear and respect in our children. The problem with this approach, of course, is considering that most Jewish children don’t go to Jewish educational institutions in the first place, more discipline will not solve the problem of low enrollment. Even if more discipline may be needed in the existing institutions, this will hardly help get more children into these schools. Others therefore argue that the exact opposite is true. Judaism – and religious education – is plagued with a fear-driven

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

made you think

Conformity vs. Individuality Does religious education help cultivate independence and self-actualization, or does it silence (or annihilate?) our individuality and induce conformity? Does it teach you to “rise on your own” or to always be dependent on others? Passivity vs. Passion For life to be lived to its fullest you need passion. For you to access your innermost resources, you need to feel driven and excited about your possibilities. Do our religious schools teach us how to find our passion, our mission – our vision of life?

approach, instead of one infused with love and sensitivity. Fear may work for the short term, but it does not imbue students with an internal commitment and yes, love for the tradition. Dogma vs. Relevance Religion is preached rather than taught. The perception is that religion is all about rules and rituals – logical or not – that must be accepted or else. Many feel programmed and imposed upon, reinforced by family, community and peer pressure that keeps people in line. Dogma also leads to condescension. Religion often appears divorced from personal relevance, warm spirituality, psychological introspection and overall character refinement. Religious people are not necessarily seen as more sensitive, loving and caring. Which explains why 90% of Americans consider themselves somewhat

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

spiritual, but only 40% identify with religion. When you consider the millennia-old history of “religious” dominance and crusades imposing their authority on the masses, the distrust of religious dogma is quite understandable. Divisiveness vs. Unity Many people feel that religion creates divisiveness. True religion is all about creating unity in this universe. How then is it possible that religion be experienced as a divisive force? This too is a result of the profound distortion of religion appearing divorced of spirituality. Knowledge vs. Tools Are our children being taught facts and information? Or are they being empowered with methodology and tools to find happiness and meaning?

This is just a beginning. I would deeply appreciate your comments and suggestions as to other issues and questions that can be added to this list. Together let us begin a revolution, by identifying the questions, analyzing the dilemma, and then inevitably we will begin to recognize the changes that are necessary to be made. Provocation isn’t always wise. But when it comes to issues that desperately need attention and repair, to provoke is to evoke, to evoke a response and a will to create change. The Hebrew word for education is “chinuch,” which means both “beginning” and “training.” Essentially, true education sets the tone for one’s entire life. How that beginning looks and what type of training we receive defines our entire life. The past is the past – and results are “in the pudding.” Look at your own life and you can trace its genesis to your education. But how that beginning will look for our children and what type of training they will receive is not dependent on the past; it is up to us to create change and improve the entire standard of education. Today, nothing less than a revolution is necessary in our education systems. The first step to initiate any change is: Awareness and the courage to confront our challenges. EM Rabbi Simon Jacobson is the author of Toward a Meaningful Life: The Wisdom of the Rebbe and the director of the Meaningful Life Center (meaningfullife.com).

jewish thought

Leadership: Defining Reality Jonathan Sacks

ne of the gifts of great leaders, and one from which each of us can learn, is that they frame reality for the group. They define its situation. They specify its aims. They articulate its choices. They tell us where we are and where we are going in a way no satellite navigation system could. They show us the map and the destination, and help us see why we should choose this route not that. That is one of their most magisterial roles, and no one did it more powerfully than did Moses in the book of Deuteronomy: See, I am setting before you today the blessing and the curse— the blessing if you obey the commands of the Lord your G‑d that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the Lord your G‑d and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known. (Deut. 11:26-28) Here, in even more powerful words, is how Moses puts it later in the book: See, I set before you today life and the good, death and the bad… I call Heaven and Earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Therefore choose life, so you and your children may live. (Deut. 30:15, 30:19) What Moses is doing here is defining reality for the next generation and for all generations. He is doing so as a preface to what is about to follow in the next many chapters, namely a systematic restatement of Jewish law covering all aspects of life for the new nation in its land. Moses does not want the people to lose the big picture by being overwhelmed by the details. Jewish law with its 613 commands is detailed. It aims at the sanctification of all aspects of life, from daily ritual to the very structure of society and its institutions. Its aim is to shape a social world in which we turn even seemingly secular occasions into encounters with the Divine Presence. Despite the details, says Moses, the choice I set before

you is really quite simple. We, he tells the next generation, are unique. We are a small nation. We have not the numbers, the wealth, nor the sophisticated weaponry of the great empires. We are smaller even than many of our neighboring nations. As of now we do not even have a land. But we are different, and that difference defines, once and for all, who we are and why. G‑d has chosen to make us His stake in history. He set us free from slavery and took us as His own covenantal partner. This is not because of our merits. “It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land.” (Deut. 9:5) We are not more righteous than others, said Moses. It is because our ancestors – Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah – were the first people to heed the call of the one G‑d and follow Him, worshipping not nature but the Creator of nature, not power but justice and compassion, not hierarchy but a society of equal dignity that includes within its ambit of concern the widow, the orphan and the stranger. Do not think, says Moses, that we can survive as a nation among nations, worshipping what they worship and living as they live. If we do, we will be subject to the universal law that has governed the fate of nations from the dawn of civilization to today. Nations are born, they grow, they flourish; they become complacent, then corrupt, then divided, then defeated, then they die, to be remembered only in history books and museums. In the case of Israel, small and intensely vulnerable, that fate will happen sooner rather than later. That is what Moses calls “the curse.” The alternative is simple – even though it is demanding and detailed. It means taking G‑d as our Sovereign, Judge of our deeds, Framer of our laws, Author of our liberty, Defender of our destiny, Object of our worship and our love. If we predicate our existence on something – some One – vastly greater than ourselves then we will be lifted higher than we could reach by ourselves. But that demands total loyalty to G‑d and His law. That is the only way we will avoid decay, decline and defeat.

There is nothing puritanical about this vision. Two of the key words of Deuteronomy are love and joy. The word “love” (the root a-h-v) appears twice in Exodus, twice in Leviticus, not all in Numbers, but 23 times in Deuteronomy. The word “joy” (with the root s-m-ch) appears only once in Genesis, once in Exodus, once in Leviticus, once in Numbers but twelve times in Deuteronomy. Moses does not hide the fact, though, that life under the covenant will be demanding. Neither love nor joy come on a social scale without codes of self-restraint and commitment to the common good. Moses knows that people often think and act in short-term ways, preferring today’s pleasure to tomorrow’s happiness, personal advantage to the good of society as a whole.

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

jewish thought

They do foolish things, individually and collectively. So throughout Deuteronomy he insists time and again that the road to longterm flourishing – the ‘good,’ the ‘blessing,’ life itself – consists in making one simple choice: accept G‑d as your Sovereign, do His will, and blessings will follow. If not, sooner or later you will be conquered and dispersed and you will suffer more than you can imagine. Thus Moses defined reality for the Israelites of his time and all time. What has this to do with leadership? The answer is that the meaning of events is never self-evident. It is always subject to interpretation. Sometimes, out of folly or fear or failure of imagination, leaders get it wrong. Neville Chamberlain defined the challenge of the rise to power of Nazi

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

Germany as the search for “peace in our time.” It took a Churchill to realize that this was wrong, and that the real challenge was the defence of liberty against tyranny. In Abraham Lincoln’s day there were any number of people for and against slavery but it took Lincoln to define the abolition of slavery as the necessary step to the preservation of the union. It was that larger vision that allowed him to say, in the Second Inaugural, “With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as G‑d gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds.”[1] He allowed neither abolition itself, nor the end of the Civil War, to be seen as a victory for one side over the other but instead defined it as a victory for the nation as a whole. I explained in my book on religion and science, The Great Partnership,[2] that there is a difference between the cause of something and its meaning. The search for causes is the task of explanation. The search for meaning is the work of interpretation. Science can explain but it cannot interpret. Were the Ten Plagues in Egypt a natural sequence of events, or Divine punishment, or both? There is no scientific experiment that could resolve this question. Was the division of the Red Sea a Divine intervention in history or a freak easterly wind exposing a submerged and ancient riverbank? Was the Exodus an act of Divine liberation or a series of lucky coincidences that allowed a group of fugitive slaves to escape? When all the causal explanations have been given, the quality of miracle – an epoch-changing event in which we see the hand of G‑d – remains. Culture is not nature. There are causes in nature, but only in culture are there meanings. Homo sapiens is uniquely the culture-creating, meaning-seeking animal, and this affects all we do. Viktor Frankl used to emphasise that our lives are determined not by what happens to us but by how we respond to what happens to us – and how we respond depends on how we interpret events. Is this disaster the end of my world or is it life calling on me to exercise heroic strength so that I can survive and help others to survive? The same circumstances

may be interpreted differently by two people, leading one to despair, the other to heroic endurance. The facts may be the same but the meanings are diametrically different. How we interpret the world affects how we respond to the world, and it is our responses that shape our lives, individually and collectively. That is why, in the famous words of Max De Pree, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.”[3] Within every family, every community, and every organization, there are tests, trials and tribulations. Do these lead to arguments, blame and recrimination? Or does the group see them providentially, as a route to some future good (a “descent that leads to an ascent” as the Lubavitcher Rebbe always used to say)? Does it work together to meet the challenge? Much, perhaps all, will depend on how the group defines its reality. This in turn will depend on the leadership or absence of leadership that it has had until now. Strong families and communities have a clear sense of what their ideals are, and they are not blown off-course by the winds of change. No one did this more powerfully than Moses in the way he monumentally framed the choice: between good and bad, life and death, the blessing and the curse, following G‑d on the one hand, or choosing the values of neighboring civilizations on the other. That clarity is why the Hittites, Canaanites, Perizzites and Jebusites are no more, while the people of Israel still lives, despite an unparalleled history of circumstantial change. Who are we? Where are we? What are we trying to achieve and what kind of people do we aspire to be? These are the questions leaders help the group ask and answer, and when a group does so together it is blessed with exceptional resilience and strength. EM Rabbi Dr. Sir Jonathan Sacks, of blessed memory, was the former Chief Rabbi of the UK and the Commonwealth and a member of the House of Lords. He was a leading academic and respected world expert on Judaism. He was the author of several books and thousands of articles, appeared regularly on television and radio, and spoke at engagements around the world.

jewish thought

Feeding Faith Yoseph Janowski

often encounter people who want to know what was special about the Rebbe. Sometimes, it’s hard to know where to start describing someone whose vision was so vast and who influenced the world and so many people in so many ways, myself included. So maybe that’s a good place to start. In the last Chassidic discourse delivered by the Rebbe, he discusses the topic of strengthening faith, by allowing the essential personal connection with G‑d to shine and permeate one's entire being, spiritually and physically. Many of my experiences of the Rebbe reflected this. As a child, I attended a Chabad-run overnight camp near Detroit for about six years in a row. That was, I think, my first connection to Lubavitch and the Rebbe. Later, my older brother Yisroel Yitzchok Eliyokum of blessed memory (who passed away a few months ago), was studying in the Lubavitcher Yeshiva in Montreal. He would write me letters about the Rebbe, and when he came home for holidays, he would talk to me about his positive experiences. When I was about fourteen years old, I attended overnight camp in Montreal where Yisroel was still studying, and at the end of the camp season he arranged for me to join a group of students traveling to New York, where I experienced a farbrengen (Chassidic gathering) with the Rebbe for the first time. The following day I was blessed to have a private audience with the Rebbe, during which he stressed the importance of knowing the names of my grandparents. I had asked for a blessing for my parents, but I didn't know their parents' names, and the custom is that when asking for a blessing for someone, we mention their name and their mother's name. "How is it that you don't know such a commonplace thing?" the Rebbe asked. He then gave me a blessing. During my late teenage years, I studied at Lubavitch yeshivas in Montreal and Brooklyn, so I had the opportunity to see and hear the Rebbe quite often. What I remember most is how the Rebbe taught us how to look at life, to focus on helping others, how to

renew our energies, retain our optimism, and how to be happy knowing that we are close to G‑d and bringing Him joy through living a Jewish life and being kind to others. He would quote the teaching of the Alter Rebbe, the first Lubavitcher Rebbe, based on the verse (Psalm 149): "Israel will rejoice with its Maker," saying that every Jew has reason to be happy simply due to the joy we bring to G‑d by being His partners in making this world into a Divine dwelling. The privilege that we all have, as simple beings, to be part

of something infinite, should bring joy to every moment. I once entered the Rebbe's study on the occasion of my birthday, and the Rebbe told me, "Together with the happiness of your birthday, G-d is rejoicing with you." I remember walking out feeling elated, that G-d Almighty is rejoicing and sharing in my personal happiness. I felt quite profoundly and deeply a G-d Who relates to me on a personal, intimate level.

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

The Rebbe told us that by opening our eyes we can see the world becoming better, and humanity getting closer to Redemption. Twice a day we recite the verses of the Shema, “Hear O Israel, G‑d our Lord, G‑d is One," which expresses our connection to the oneness of existence; we believe that G‑d made this world, and us, and everything in the universe, and we know by extension that He is intrinsically united with everything, always. He creates the world every second, and it is all one with Him. The Rebbe gave us all the ability to feel, clearly, the unity of G‑d within everything. The Rebbe gave us the feeling, and awareness, and confidence, that we are one with G‑d, and that we have a mission to reveal how G‑d is everywhere. He taught us that by fulfilling our mission, via Torah and its commandments, and especially being a role model and teacher and helper to others, we can bring about the Redemption. The Rebbe taught us that there is a G-d in this world. How? With his personal example, he exuded calm confidence, sureness and optimism in all situations. With the many miracles that he performed, bringing Divine healing and help to so many. With his teachings and clarifications of Torah, explaining them in a way that made sense to a new generation. With his spirited enthusiasm and joy, an almost mischievous presence that was inspiring and infectious. And with his unique ability to relate to each individual and, on each one’s level, to show that G-d is personally united with us and cares deeply about every detail of our lives. With all of this, we are imbued with the clarity to feel strongly that our life matters, that our purpose of transforming this world into a Divine abode is eminently doable – and that it is actually happening right now. The Rebbe told us that by opening our eyes we can see the world becoming better, and humanity getting closer to Redemption.

I often wonder how he would view how world events are unfolding today. As his student and disciple, all I can share is how I see them, inspired by the way he taught me to see – without discounting or ignoring the suffering and the imperfections, to see the positives in everything. I believe we can see this especially clearly when it comes to Israel and its standing in the world. Despite so many forces trying to fight its existence and delegitimize it in different ways, Israel is thriving on so many levels. Instead of being boycotted, as many conspired to accomplish, it is being sought out by corporations and governments around the world for its much-needed expertise – in agriculture, technology, medical research and defense among other fields – that are central to solving so many of the world’s problems. As Western European nations deal with a major crisis in energy supply due to the war in Ukraine and other factors, they are turning to Israel’s newly found abundance of offshore natural gas to fill the void. This development, in turn, is making the potential enemies of Egypt and Turkey into friends, since they are the most likely transit routes through which the energy will flow. Instead of Israel being harmed by Iran’s threat to wipe it off the map,the entire Iranian geopolitical standing and economy are being wiped out, while at the same time many nations in the region pivot towards warmer relations with Israel in response to the Iranian threat. Things are looking bright. Perhaps, as the Rebbe predicted, the ultimate Redemption, a time when all the nations will honor and respect the Jewish people and G‑d, is close at hand – a time when humanity will finally reach universal peace and prosperity. May it happen very soon. EM Yoseph Janowski lives in Toronto, Canada.

future tense

MOSHIACH MUSINGS

There is a profound link between the concept of the red heifer, whose ashes were used for ritual purification purposes, and the principle of the redemption through Moshiach: For the duration of the exile, until the coming of Moshiach, all Jews are in a state of impurity caused by proximity to corpses. We no longer have ashes of a red heifer to purify us, and new ones can be prepared only in the presence of the Holy Temple. Both

the

red

heifer

and

the

redemption effect purification. The ashes of the red heifer are used for removing a technical state of impurity. The redemption will purify the entire people of Israel (including those who are technically pure) from any trace of deficiency in the bond with our Father in Heaven. One of the prophecies thus says of that time, in terms analogous to the “waters of purification” of the red heifer: “I shall sprinkle pure waters upon you that you be purified. I will purify you from all your impurities and from all your idols!” (Ezekiel 36:25) Maimonides cites a Mishnah with the following words: “Nine red heifers were prepared from the time this precept was ordained until the Second Temple was destroyed: the first was prepared by Moses our Master, the second Ezra prepared, and there were seven from Ezra to the destruction of the Temple. The tenth will be prepared by King Moshiach – may he soon be revealed, amen, may thus be (G‑d’s) Will!” (Hilchot Parah Adumah 3:4) Our present mitzvot can make this happen momentarily!

ask the rabbi

The Metaphysics of Dollars Rabbi Yoseph Y. Zaltzman

I’ve heard that people used to visit the Rebbe and he would hand out dollar bills when giving meeting them and giving them blessings. What is the meaning of this dollar distribution?

It is well known that for hours upon hours every Sunday and on other occasions, the Rebbe would stand as people from all walks of life passed by for “dollars” to receive his counsel and his blessings. The Rebbe’s intention was that the recipient should give the dollar to charity. In this way, explained the Rebbe, when two meet, it should benefit another. Usually, instead of giving the actual dollar bill to charity, the recipient would keep it and give away another dollar in its place. The Rebbe commonly requested that we go out of our way to share something we have with others. Receiving a dollar from the Rebbe gives one the responsibility of helping another. Whether it’s physical charity with money or goods, or time and effort, going out of your way for another’s benefit is what this dollar represents. The dollar should serve as a constant reminder that the Jewish people are all about helping others, both spiritually and materially. For this reason, many keep the dollar in their wallets, or in a place where it can easily be seen. Some noticed that the dollars the Rebbe distributed were always crisp and new. Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, the founder of the Chabad movement known as the Alter Rebbe, once asked one of his followers for a large sum of money. The formerly prosperous merchant from had fallen on hard times and lost his fortune. Alas, he felt heartbroken because he did not have the money for the Alter Rebbe. Upon learning of her husband’s distress, his wife sold her pearls and jewelry for the required sum of money. She then polished the coins until

they sparkled, and packed them up for her husband to bring to the rebbe. When the Alter Rebbe opened the package, the coins shone with an extraordinary brilliance. “Tell me,” he asked, “where did you get these coins?” The businessman told him of his plight, and how his wife had raised the money. The Alter Rebbe said of the coins, “Of all the gold, silver and copper which the Jews gave to build the Tabernacle (the desert Sanctuary), nothing shone but the brass laver and its stand,” referring to the items made from the copper cosmetic mirrors which the Jewish women had selflessly and joyously given to the sanctuary. The Rebbe once intimated that this is the reason he gives mint-condition currency. The crisp dollar bill should serve as a reminder that giving charity, or for that matter any good deed, is best done with a smile, and in the purest way, and then the mitzvah will shine. Perhaps more than anything else, a Rebbe is an expert at making soul connection with people. In order for that spiritual connection and the blessings that flow from it to find expression in our material existence, it requires a physical “vessel” or “vehicle” to carry it. The handing of a very physical, material dollar serves as that vehicle, to transmit the spiritual energy and blessing. EM

В редакцию прислали вопрос, почему был разрушен Второй Храм. Что Вы можете сказать об этом? Написано, что Второй Храм был разрушен из-за беспричинной ненависти евреев друг к другу. Нена-висть без причины – это такое чувство, когда кто-то не нравится не потому, что сделал другому что-то плохое, а просто так – вот не нравится, и все! Обычно наше хорошее отношение к человеку основано на том, сколько положительного в нем мы находим. Иными словами: нашей симпатии есть объяснение. Но для того, чтобы исправить грех беспричинной ненависти, любить нужно тоже без причины. То есть, нужно любить каждого вне зависимости от его отношения к нам. Это чувство должно быть сродни любви к ребенку. Родился ребенок, и вы еще не знаете, каким он вырастет, какими качествами будет обладать. Пока что вы пеленаете его, ухаживаете за ним, не спите ночами, но вы его уже любите! Почему? Потому что он – ваш. А любите ли вы своего брата или сестру? Конечно, ведь это близкие мне люди, члены моей семьи. Каждый человек является для меня братом или сестрой, потому что у нас один Отец – Вс-вышний в небесах. Хасидизм задается вопросом: «Почему ближнего надо любить, как самого себя? Почему не больше, чем себя?» Когда человек совершает проступки, он находит массу причин для их оправдания... The article above is excerpted from the Russian edition of Exodus Magazine. To subscribe, please visit exodusmagazine.org or call 416.222.7105.

Rabbi Yoseph Y. Zaltzman is the Senior Rabbi of the Jewish Russian Community Centre of Ontario. You can Ask the Rabbi at jrcc.org or fax to 416.222.7812. To meet with Rabbi Zaltzman in person, feel free to call 416.222.7105 to book an appointment. Appointments are generally available on Wednesday evenings after 7pm. Rebbitzin Chiena Zaltzman is also available for private consultations by appointment on Wednesday evenings from 9 to 10pm by calling 416.222.7105.

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

‫ב”ה‬ ‫ב''ה‬

Our

JULY 2022 | SIVAN 5782

Community

COMMUNITY CALENDAR

SHAVUOT AT THE JRCC

T H E M O N T H I N R E V I E W. U P C O M I N G E V E N T S & P R O G R A M S .

J U L Y 2 0 2 2 JULY

02-04

JULY

TRIP TO REBBE

12-13 TAMMUZ FARBRENGEN

FAST OF 17 TAMMUZ

On Sunday, June 5, hundreds of children and adults attended the annual reading of the Ten Commandments on Shavuot at nine JRCC locations in the GTA. The children were treated to the now famous Shavuot Ice Cream Party, as they joined. thousands of Jewish communities around the world ICE CREAM PARTY in celebrating the receiving of the Torah at Mt. Sinai over 3,300 years ago. The readings were followed by a light dairy brunch buffet, including delicious homemade cheesecakes. The event was held simultaneously at all JRCC branches, with some branches holding multiple readings and parties throughout the day to accommodate everyone’s schedules. On the previous evening, dozens of people joined the traditional all-night learning sessions and the reading of the Kabbalistic “Tikun Leil Shavuot” on the night of Shavuot, expressing our love for the Torah and anticipating receiving it anew as we do at this time each year.

SHAVUOT

JRCC TABLE AT COMMUNITY MARKETPLACE AT PROMENADE MALL On May 31, the JRCC joined UJA, JF&CS, and JIAS Toronto in holding a community marketplace for Ukrainian refugees. The pop-up event, which was hosted at the Family Resource Centre at Promenade Mall in Thornhill, enabled some of our newest community members to get access essential services, basic needs and community information, including applying for SIN cards and receive clothing and essential items. At the JRCC table, people were greeted warmly and welcomed to the community, received a copy of the JRCC Calendar, religious articles, and information about JRCC programs and services. FAMILY PURITY COURSE FOR MEN The traditions and laws of family purity are central to Jewish married life, breathing life into the deeper dimension of marriage and its spiritual, emotional and biological rhythms. The JRCC South Thornhill hosted a three-part family purity crash course for men, taught by Rabbi Levi Blau, and each class was accompanied by choice refreshments of sushi and whiskey. For beginners, it was a comprehensive introduction to the basic concepts and practices, while for the initiated it was a good refresher, which is important to do from time to time given the details and complexities that can sometimes be forgotten or overlooked. This is the first of hopefully many courses to be hosted at the JRCC South Thornhill’s new permanent location.

CANDLE LIGHTING TIMES Friday, July 1, 2022

8:45 PM

Friday, July 8, 2022

8:43 PM

Friday, July 15, 2022

8:39 PM

Friday, July 22, 2022

8:33 PM

Friday, July 29, 2022

8:26 PM

July 2022 / Sivan 5782

JRCC HEBREW SCHOOL END OF YEAR CELEBRATION After the successful completion of a great year, over 100 students and teachers from the JRCC Hebrew School celebrated with a graduation evening, and each Hebrew School branch also held its own end-of-year party. The main graduation event featured a presentation that highlighted the material covered in the past year, an art gallery of student’s works, and a ceremony awarding Aleph Champ medals to the students for completing their new Hebrew proficiency levels. An engaging and entertaining game show pitted students agains parents, and while the students won the parents put up a good fight. An Israel-themed musical presentation also provided a cultural entertainment component. The JRCC Hebrew School currently operates at a total of six locations in Richmond Hill, Maple, Concord, Thornhill, and North York. Sessions are available at various times and days of the week. To give your child the gift of Jewish education, and to give yourself the gift of Jewish naches, contact the JRCC Hebrew School at 416.222.7105 x225 or visit jrccschools.ca. Registration is now open for September 2022, and a limited number of scholarships are available.

PHOTO OF THE MONTH

Women’s

TRIP TO THE

An uplifting journey of inspiration and connection to the Rebbe

REBBE

AUGUST 9-10

Pray in 770 shul, the Rebbe’s room, the Rebbe’s house and at the Ohel. Tour the 770’s broadcasting room and the Rebbe’s library of ancient texts and heirlooms Lively lectures and Farbrengens Shop the Avenue Visit a Jewish Art Gallery

Rabbi Yoseph Zaltzman - Senior Rabbi and founder of the JRCC of Ontario speaks at one of the JRCC Hebrew School end of year graduations.

Eat in New York Kosher restaurants For more information on pricing, accommodation and tickets booking, contact Chanie Zaltzman at 416.222.7105 x234 or email chanie.zaltzman@jrcc.org

PROVIDING SUPPORT FOR

JEWISH REFUGEES

FROM UKRAINE ARRIVING IN ONTARIO • FURNITURE • KITCHEN PACKAGES • GIFT CARDS • AND MORE

Packing and / or distributing holiday gift packages Packing and / or distributing life cycle gift packages Getting involved with the birthday cake program Food bank – packing and delivery FOR MORE INFORMATION

Cintact Jenny Shigorina ukraine@jrcc.org | 416-222-7105 #293

WWW.JRCC.ORG/UKRAINE 14

416-222-7105 #291 hana.uralsky@jrcc.org

July 2022 / Sivan 5782

Did you just give birth? Did you become a grandparent? Do you know any of your friends who just gave birth? JRCC is ready to deliver a baby package right to the house. It includes: baby diapers, body suits, napkins, baby cream, kids cup, baby powder, shower gel, Jewish soft toy, blessing for a child and a mother, Jewish educational book, baby blanket. Contact JRCC office for more info

416.222.7105 ext.245

Upcoming

FARBRENGEN JRCC South Thornhill, 28 Townsgate Dr.

MONDAY, JULY 11 | 8:00 PM 12-13 TAMMUZ FARBRENGEN

Celebrating the release of the Previous Rebbe from Communist prison

July 2022 / Sivan 5782

Faces of the Community Hana Fridlis Health Care Professional Please tell us about your career. I am a paramedic. In the Soviet Union, I graduated from the University of Medicine in Chisinau, after which I worked as a head nurse in a large (299 seat) kindergarten, which belonged to the Chisinau Vibropribor Factory. On the day the Yom Kippur War began - September 3, 1973 - we received permission to leave for Israel, and a month later we departed. In Israel, I completed courses at the Rothschild Hospital and became a registered nurse. Then I graduated from the the Medical Care & Administrative Program at the University of Haifa, and I became the head nurse in the clinic. My eldest daughter studied music, and my youngest studied painting and she is now a graphic artist. Thirtysix years ago we came to Canada. Tell us about your family. My paternal grandmother, Sura Gelman, came from a family of Breslov chassidim. She celebrated the Sabbath and all Jewish holidays and, of course, knew Yiddish. Her husband, my grandfather, the handsome Azril Strazhnikov, worked as a cooper - he made barrels. They lived in Uman, where Jews from all countries come to the grave of the Rebbe Nachman, the righteous founder of Breslov. My grandfather was very religious, and for the last twenty years of his life he served as a cantor. There was no synagogue in Uman at that time, so the local Jews gathered for the holidays in someone's house. They also baked matzah before Passover. My grandparents had six children. One of their sons, Abram, was wounded and returned from the front disabled with the rank of captain. The husband of their daughter, a lieutenant, died in the first days of the war. In 1914 the First World War began. My mother's father, Joseph Yaroslavsky, was immediately taken prisoner in Austria, and soon after that my mother Haika was born. My grandmother, my mother's mother, Khana, whose name I bear with great pride, traveled with her neighbors in a wagon to perform a bris (circumcision) for her newborn son in 1919. On the way they were attacked by bandits who wanted to kill my mother. The neighbor, crying, begged: “She grew up before my eyes, please don’t kill her!” And the bandits ran away. My mother, returning home in a terrible shock, did not pay attention to the fact that they put the baby on the stove and forgot about him. The child died. A few days later, my grandmother died of grief. After the death of my grandmother, my grandfather Joseph married her younger sister, Lyba. They had a son named Sanyk. In the first year of the war, Lyba ended up in a ghetto in the town of Teplik, while my grandfather and Sanyk managed to escape. They met a Polish neighbor who lived nearby with her Ukrainian husband. The husband's brother collaborated with the Germans. The Polish woman said to my grandfather: "I'll leave the latch open, and you and your son slowly go to the stable." The stable had a cellar where vegetables were kept. There they hid my grandfather and Sanyk. Soon the Germans placed their stable upstairs. Meanwhile, young Ukrainian girls began to be sent to work in Germany, and the people who hid us also hid their daughter in the cellar where the grandfather and son were. The Polish woman, pretending to go down for potatoes, brought them food. My grandfather's son, Sanyk, almost lost his sight during his stay in the dark cellar. Lyba remained in the ghetto. One day a Ukrainian policeman gave her a shovel and said: "Dig!" She dug a hole, and they shot her. In July 1946, my parents gave birth to a girl, who was named Lena in honor of Lyba's grandmother, retaining the first letter of her name. Having lost her mother early, at the age of nine my mother washed earthen floors in the house and baked bread. My mother was unusually beautiful - a brunette with bright green eyes. In 1933, my grandfather's family and my mother left for the Crimea to the first created Jewish collective farm where my mother collected wheat and stacked it in stacks. The collective farm gave excellent harvests, but it was soon shut down. Hunger had begun. A relative came from Kyiv and took my mother with her. There, my mother rented a corner in the apartment where the Jews lived, and went to work in a printing house, having learned how to type. When she received a salary, she sent a parcel with brown bread to her relatives. Returning to Teplik, she met her father, Volodya Strazhnikov, who came from Uman to visit a friend. In 1935, my mother got married and left with my father for Uman. There was no work at all, so my father went to Chisinau in search of work. My father had golden hands. He made excellent barrels, from a small barrels with a tap for wine to large vats. After securing a job, he called his family to Chisinau. Before every holiday, at home they cooked a big turkey and baked, and my mother went to the synagogue, where hundreds of Jews gathered, and distributed money to the poor. I am 85 years old, my husband and I have lived a decent life - more than 62 years together. We have wonderful children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I wish everyone happiness and health.

JRCC Directory

JRCC Program Spotlight

COMMUNITY BARBECUES ARE BACK! Now that we are (hopefully, probably, more or less) living in a post-pandemic reality, the JRCC is bringing back one of the most popular annual events: The Community Barbecue. Yes, barbecue season is officially here, and the JRCC is relaunching its series of community barbecues this summer. It’s a great way to reconnect with one another and regain our sense of community. Each JRCC branch hosts its own event, providing a casual setting for community residents to meet, connect, interact and enjoy an informal family experience. These types of events are a great way to get to know one another, and a great opportunity and the perfect environment in which to feel a sense of community.

The barbecues generally feature music, activities for kids, and, of course, cold beer and great marinated food on the grill. Some neighborhoods have local connoisseurs that have become legends on the grill, providing unique culinary

treats that draw a crowd around the barbecue. One such example is Bucharian plov (pilaf) traditionally served up at the JRCC East Thornhill’s community barbecue. Even though people come

out to enjoy the sunshine and good times, often something much deeper also transpires. Friendships are discovered and built, resulting in long-term local camaraderie. Neighborhood children get to know one another, leading to more play dates and family connections. And the community as a whole is strengthened, leading to wider and more active participation in programs and volunteering. You can give your family the gift of community by simply attending the upcoming barbecue in your neighborhood, and see what happens next. For a list of upcoming barbecues visit jrcc.org/bbq or get in touch with your local JRCC branch.

416-222-7105 | www.jrcc.org Jewish Russian Community Centre of Ontario 5987 Bathurst Street, #3 Toronto, ON M2R 1Z3 Canada Office Hours: Sun: 12 - 5 Mon to Thurs: 9 - 6 • Fri: 9 - 3hrs before Shabbat

JRCC BRANCHES JRCC of Ontario: 5987 Bathurst St., #3 Rabbi Yoseph Y. Zaltzman x278 Roi Aftabi, COO x257 JRCC Woodbridge: 12 Muscadel Rd. Rabbi Avrohom Yusewitz x261 JRCC S. Richmond Hill & Maple: 9699 Bathurst St. Rabbi Avrohom Zaltzman x247 JRCC Concord: 411 Confederation Parkway, #14 Rabbi Levi Mishulovin x 253 JRCC Affiliate CRC of Thornhill Woods: 8808 Bathurst St. Rabbi Chaim Hildeshaim x224 JRCC West Thornhill: 1136 Centre St., #2 Rabbi Levi Jacobson x240 JRCC East Thornhill: 7608 Yonge St., #3 Rabbi Mendel Zaltzman x227 JRCC South Thornhill: 1 Cordoba Dr., Party Room Rabbi Levi Blau x288 JRCC Rockford: 18 Rockford Rd. Rabbi Shmuel Neft x235 JRCC Affiliate Jewish Gorsky Assn.: 465 Patricia Ave. Rabbi Dovid Davidov x255 Downstairs JRCC Willowdale and the City: 5700 Yonge St. Rabbi Yisroel Zaltzman x231 JRCC Sheppard & Bathurst Senior’s Building 4455 Bathurst St., Party Room / Mr. Roman Goldstein x221 JRCC Lawrence & Bathurst Senior’s Building 3174 Bathurst St., Party Room x221

JRCC AFFILIATES

Danforth Beaches Rabbi Shalom Lezell (416) 809-1365

Durham Region Rabbi Tzali Borensein (905) 493-9007 Georgina, Ontario Rabbi Yossi Vorovitch (905) 909-8818 Hamilton Region Rabbi Chanoch Rosenfeld (905) 529-7458 London, Ontario Rabbi Lazer Gurkow (519) 438-3333 Niagara Region Rabbi Zalman Zaltzman (905) 356-7200 Ottawa, Ontario Rabbi Chaim Mendelsohn (613) 218-8505 Waterloo Region Rabbi Moshe Goldman (519) 725-4289

EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMS

L&M Gelfand Daycare JRCC Daycare and Preschool x501

JRCC Hebrew School Sunday and after-school program x225 Institute of Jewish Studies Classes & Lectures for Adults x221 Exodus Magazine Monthly Publications in Rus & Eng x222 JRCC Bookstore & Library jrcc.org/bookstore x221

SOCIAL PROGRAMS

Furniture Depot: 1416 Centre St. #6 x500 jrccfurnituredepot.org Hospital & Jail Visitations x221 Family Counselling & Legal Advice Holiday Programs x234 Events, Parties & Holiday Awareness

Jewish Identity Verification x237 Mazal Makalski jewishidentity@jrcc.org Simcha Gemach x234 Chanie Zaltzman chanie.zaltzman@jrcc.org Volunteering x254 Get involved in your community! YEDinstitute – Entrepreneurial Mentorship x221 yedinstitute.org

July 2022 / Sivan 5782

SHARE THE JOY! t he ex odus ma g azine sim cha sectio n Mazel Tov to

Rabbi Shmuel & Mrs. Esther Neft On the birth of their son

IT’S A BOY!

Simcha Moshe!

Max Shanesky

May it be G-d’s will that you raise him and enable him to attain Torah, marriage and good deeds amidst prosperity. With best wishes, the JRCC Rabbi & Staff

Simcha Moshe Neft Levi Logan Mingov Aasron Madariev Eden Tal Tamir Egivaev Timothy Fedchin Gabriel Hiutin Shmuel Benjamin Levesin Marhasin

Mazel Tov to

IT’S A GIRL!

Dovid & Yehudis Faynberg

Ariella Tabak Shaina Faynberg

On the birth of their daughter

Shylie Ben Dahan

Shaina!

Izzy Rose Kepecs

BAR-MITZVAH!

May it be G-d’s will that you raise her and enable her to attain Torah, marriage, and good deeds amidst prosperity. With best wishes, the JRCC Rabbi & Staff

Pinchas Shulim Rosenbaum

MARRIAGE! Dan Fridmar & Liz Dobkin Ryan Ethan Render & Shoshana Rachel Khazanski Yankel Piekarski & Mushki Spalter

Mazel Tov to

Wishing you much health, happiness and nachas, from the rabbis of the JRCC

Rabbi Yoseph & Mrs. Chiena Zaltzman on the recent marriage of their son

Rabbi Yoseph Y. Zaltzman (Senior Rabbi)

Meir Shlomo to Miriam,

Rabbi Avrohom Yusewitz, Rabbi Avrohom Zaltzman, Rabbi Levi Mishulovin, Rabbi Chaim Hildeshaim, Rabbi Levi Jacobson, Rabbi Mendel Zaltzman, Rabbi Levi Blau, Rabbi Shmuel Neft, Rabbi David Davidov, Rabbi Yisroel Zaltzman

daughter of

Rabbi Gershon & Mrs. Esther Overlander (London, England)

SPREAD THE JOY!

July 2022 / Sivan 5782

CHUPPAH

OPSHERN

BABY NAMING BAT MITZVAH

BAR MITZVAH

BRIT

PIDION HABEN

For the next special event in your friend’s or family’s life, post a special greeting ad in Exodus Magazine’s Simcha section. For details call 416.222.7105 x222

NAMES LISTED ABOVE AND ADS IN THIS MAZEL TOV PAGE ARE NO PROOF OF JEWISH IDENTITY

Love Yourself? Tzvi Freeman

n 2021, Cris Galera, a Brazilian woman living in Italy, invited friends to her marriage ceremony—to herself. It seems things didn’t work out so well because only three months later, she divorced herself to marry someone else. I didn’t get to ask Ms. Galera if she no longer loves herself. The evidence is there: If she still loves herself, why did she require a divorce from herself? I checked, and neither in Brazil nor in Italy is there any law against people married to their own selves marrying someone else’s self. But obviously, she saw this as two conflicting sides of the coin: Either she loves her own self, or she loves someone else’s self. Can’t do both. Had Ms. Galera asked us, we would have assured her that in this case the Torah explicitly demands the coin land on both sides at once, as it instructs us to "love the other guy as you love yourself." Now, obviously, that's telling you to love the other guy a whole lot. Which implies that you have to love yourself a whole lot. Otherwise, what’s the point of having to love someone “like yourself?” Must be that we are all capable of loving both ourselves and everybody else

simultaneously. Sounds nice. But empirically flawed. We all know that if you love yourself a whole lot, there's no room left for the other guy. When you say, "She's madly in love with herself," you mean that whatever she does for others is really for herself. A narcissist lives inside a two-way iron dome, impervious to the missiles of love and incapable of firing them off, all radiant energy fated to only echo back towards its source. This would seem to lock us into a recursive loop: If loving others precludes loving yourself, why does Torah place so much value on loving the other guy "like yourself?" Quote the contrary, it should say, "Love the other guy unlike yourself." But that would be even more incongruous. Because we all know that as much as we may be disappointed, fed up, ashamed, and really outright angry and spiteful of our own selves, we're all totally obsessed with ourselves nonetheless. Mothers excluded, at least 90% of your thoughts and 100% of your breathing, eating, and grooming are dedicated to one yours truly alone. And my suspicion is that mothers, as precious as we all hold them, simply see their offspring as an extension of themselves.

As for all that inner-directed anger—why would you spend so much fury on someone you don't care for? Self-hatred is patently just another form of self-infatuation. So far, it sounds like “love them like you love yourself” is a classic oxymoron. If so, Ms. Galera clearly did have to choose between herself and someone else. Fortunately for us, the classic Jewish work of ethics and psychology called Tanya comes to the rescue, undoing this Gordian knot in one fell swoop—not with a sword, but with a peeler. Yes, you must love yourself, and at the same time, you must be totally fed up with yourself. Because there's two of you: There's your peel, and there's your banana; there’s the packaging, and there’s the nifty delivery inside. Don't fall in love with the packaging because you'll never get to eat the fruit inside. So, no, Ms. Galera did not need to divorce herself. She only needed to shed her outer self to make room for someone else’s self. She could have simply molted, like snakes, bugs, and crustaceans do. Okay, let’s look at that step by step: Molt Like a Snake The Zohar, in an oft brutally misinterpreted phrase, calls the human body, "the skin of the snake." As with almost everything in Zohar, none of those words are meant to be taken literally. Skin doesn't mean skin, snake doesn't mean snake, and your body is not slimy, scaley, or reprehensible. Quite the contrary, without a body, the soul cannot climb beyond itself. Your soul descended to this world and squeezed itself into a body because that's the only way it can experience perfect union with G‑d—by performing a mitzvah, which can only be done from within a meat-and-guts physical body. Rather, when the Zohar says "body," it means simply your outer self—as the word for "body" (guf) generally means in Talmudic literature. And the comparison to a serpent's skin is not because the Zohar thinks we’re slimy, but simply because a snake grows by shedding its outer self from time to time. It literally, punctures a hole in its skin and then

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

crawls out of itself like you take a sock off your foot. For the snake, an intractable attachment to its outer self would be a terminal sentence. Narcissism is not much different, and no less deadly. In the words of the Talmud, “Give me friendship or give me death!” Yet the snake is only able to divest that skin because it instinctively knows this is not who it truly is. It knows there's someone deeper, bigger, and more permanent inside that must grow and continue to live—and the only way to do that is by repeatedly breaking out of the prison of its outer self. So too, you're only able to reject that outer self when you believe in your inner self. You know you are a divine soul, and therefore, you recognize your current personality is not really you. It's only a stop along the way, a chrysalis to be broken. That neatly explains how the fiercest, most stubborn personalities of Jewish history were also the most humble. They were all earthrattling snap, crackle, and pop from the inside, with a crisp, easily dispensable shell on the outside. Moses, “the most humble man on earth,” had the grit to put Pharaoh in his place and even to argue with G‑d when necessary. David composed poetry describing himself as a worm, a subhuman, and a weirdo—yes, the same David who took on Goliath without hesitation and vanquished the Philistines. The list goes on. It may sound counter-intuitive, but the two attitudes go hand in hand. When you’re coming from a position of inner strength, you have no need to cling to your outer presentation. And vice versa, the pathway to sense that inner power is through a crack in your love affair with your outer self. Divorce your shell. Marry the true you. Love Like Me And now, look at the other guy. If you would be married to yourself, locked into an obsessive relationship with your outer personality, you would be incapable of seeing this other guy as anything more than an accessory to your own pretty package. Just like some people can't eat the cake

July 2022 / Tammuz 5782

because it looks so pretty, or can't open the gift because the bow on top is so neat, you wouldn't be capable of leaving yourself to commune with another person. You would be perpetually stuck with, "I like these people, because they really enhance everything that makes me so amazing." Or: "This guy affirms for me that the tone I chose for my hair is just the right shade." Or: “This person is good for me, because her approval confirms that my expertise in Torah knowledge is significant and I really am a holy dude.” Or, on the flip side: "I can't stand these people, because they just don't match my color scheme." Or: "They don't appreciate me when I spread my feathers and glitter in the sun." Or: “Hey, if they can exist without me, like, why am I here?” So there's no real love or friendship in your life. Everything is contingent on self. Lonely self. “A human being without a friend,” wrote Rabbi Yeshaya Horowitz in 16th century Tiberias, “is like a left hand without

a right.” But if you're in a perpetual state of selftranscendence, of "un-being," incessantly molting and escaping the trap of any defined state of "I am this," then love and friendship is always within your grasp. You look at the other guy, and you say, "Wow, this holy dude is on the same journey as me—stuck within a crusty layer, struggling to break out and fulfill some divine mission within this reality. A divine soul! Who knows how great and sublime that soul must be to take on such a mission inside that hunk of meat and bones? Mamesh, I can identify with that soul so deeply. At some point, really deep, we are one and the same." As much as you love yourself, your inner self, so you love the other guy. Because you are the other guy. If your outer self is an isolated particle of matter, your inner self is an instance of allpervasive energy. If your outer self is a chunk of meat, your inner self is the life force that renders that meat just one iteration of an awesome living

being called humankind, itself nothing more than a single breath of the Life of All Life. If your outer self is a high-definition pixel at xy coordinates, your inner self belongs to a current that courses through all colors, shapes, and forms, and is not defined by any of them, a oneness of being, perpetually transcending all boundaries, the kicking bronco anathema to the walls of self, the juice of infinite sweetness and love. Indeed, this inner self can hardly be called a self at all—if not that it has been temporarily locked within the cell of a particular person and assigned a particular mission for the duration of a human life. Turns out that by divorcing your outer self, you end up married to every other soul in the universe. Sparrow In a Cage But hold on—how about we all love that snake-skin self just a little? Why can’t I say, “I really love the way I part my hair. But I can appreciate that others might like to part their lovely hair differently.” Or “I believe my external persona, the way I handle my SUV, the tone to my biceps, the suave with which I deal with social situations, makes me a truly hot dude. But,

hey, a world of nothing but hot dudes could overheat real fast.” Or maybe, “It’s so nice that I do so many beautiful mitzvahs and know so much Torah. My very sincere and altruistic mitzvahs make such a pretty outfit for a neshamah such as mine! I love everyone else so much, I want them to have a mitzvah-wardrobe just as nice.” As you can see, this isn’t going to work. We’re dealing with a classic eat-cake/havecake duality. The two loves are mutually exclusive. The reason is obvious. If your outer self is a cage, your inner self is a sparrow, an eagle, a moose, or maybe even a tiger. If your outer self is a stone tower with iron-grid windows, your inner self is the fair maiden awaiting the rescue of some prince in shining armor. Whatever it is, to define yourself within a persona is to fossilize your soul. And who is this outer self after all? Nothing more than some modality you found for yourself over the years that works, sort of, but often not so impressively, when dealing with others. It's mostly built around how the instinctual beasty into which you were born reacted to others in the first six years of life, with a few minor tweaks during your crazy adolescence. Embracing who you imagine yourself to be is no different than sticking to

pablum because that's what you started with. Even if you’ve fastidiously installed upgrades to that persona on every new release, no matter how adult, how refined, how suave, resilient, empathetic, and all the other nice adjectives you make yourself, even before the paint starts to dry, it's time to get another one. Because the soul inside does not accept adjectives. It's infinite. So the truth is, as much as you love yourself, that’s how much you will be totally fed up with yourself. Because true love is love of your inner self, that inner mysterious beauty that can never be soiled or blemished. And if you truly love her, you’re charging toward the dragon and the castle to liberate her from her prison. You’re ever-ready and eager to totally rip apart your outer packaging so that the butterfly can emerge from its cocoon to fly up, up, and away. Divorce yourself. Discover love. EM

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, a senior editor at Chabad.org, is the author of Bringing Heaven Down to Earth and more recently Wisdom to Heal the Earth. To subscribe to regular updates of Rabbi Freeman's writing or purchase his books, visit Chabad.org. Follow him on FaceBook @RabbiTzviFreeman.

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Exodus Magazine - July 2022

Articles inside

JEWISH THOUGHT

MADE YOU THINK

JEWISH THOUGHT

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