COVID 2020: Close to Home. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA)

FA Stories of Recovery from Food Addiction

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Close to Home

COVID 2020

Facing Fears on the Frontline COVID 2020

Features Facing Fears on the Frontline. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1

Being of Service. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

Surrendering. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4

Self-Care in a Pandemic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Isolating but Never Alone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8

Paper Hugs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Gift of Abstinence and Time. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

I Am a Food Addict. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12

Fourth Stepping-in-Place. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

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Lighten Up!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

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A

s a nurse, I am used to very hectic back to work was causing me to feel paradays in a Level 1 Emergency De- lyzed.

I needed to do what this program has partment (ED) in a Boston hospital, but I had no idea how much the world taught me. I asked my Higher Power for would change when COVID-19 arrived. help. I made phone calls. I ate my weighed My days were filled with donning and doff- and measured meals. I prayed to have the ing masks and gloves while wondering courage to walk through my fear. I relied on whether we would have enough personal the power behind me that is much greater protective equipment (PPE) to get me than the problem in front of me.

I was amazed that I climbed over my parathrough my next shift. I was feeling discomlyzing fear and was fort due to the able to put one foot in changes, but I was just I needed to do what front of the other as I getting in the groove of my new reality this program has taught me. walked into the Emergency Departwhen I got sick. Even though my COVIDI prayed to have the courage ment. I asked God to help me practice hu19 test came back to walk through my fear. mility and ask my colnegative, it took twoleagues for assistance. and-a-half weeks until I received an impromptu reorientation and, I was well enough to get back to the ED. Like most other people, I was watching the by the time I got my first COVID patient, I news and hearing how the pandemic was was ready, willing, and able!

I recognized that fear can hit hard even growing in strength. My work friends were telling me how busy it was, that the patients though I have 17 years of recovery. I also reccoming into the hospital were very sick and ognize that, if I put one foot in front of the that there were different rules and policies other and do the next right thing, I can get being announced daily. The better I got through anything with God's help. Thank physically, the more my fear started taking you to my HP and this program of recovery over. The thought that I was going to have to for showing me that this too shall pass!

Karen L., Massachusetts, US hit the ground running as soon as I went

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Being of Service

I

have been a member of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) for over seven years. In FA, I lost 50 pounds (about 23 kilos) and kept it off. I am so grateful for a spiritual answer to food addiction and that I can work the Twelve Steps with fellow FA members.

One night in AWOL (A Way of Life, a study of the Twelve Steps), we talked about praying for someone else instead of just ourselves. We also took a commitment to do so every day for a week. The next morning, I knelt in prayer and asked God to use me to be of service. I prayed for everyone who was suffering and grieving, naming specific people I knew. I did not know how I would be of service to anyone. I live alone and have been sheltering in place for some time. I trusted God’s plan for me, however.

I made phone calls to FA members I do not normally speak to, listening to the quiet voice inside myself. Sure enough, I connected with an FA member who coowned a small business with her husband.

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, the business no longer had any clients. The member stated that she did not know how to apply for a small business loan, and I was able to help. I connected her with an FA member who had just applied for a similar 2

loan, as well as to another member whose job it was to help small businesses obtain loans. She was very grateful. It felt good to be of service, just by being present and listening.

After the FA phone call, I had to go to the bank for help with a problem. When I arrived, a teller kindly informed me that my issue could only be resolved by calling a phone number. I was disappointed because I had called that number the day before, remaining on the phone for 30 minutes with no answer. Nevertheless, I was able to cordially thank the teller for her time. On my way home I remembered that my niece, who had just had a baby, had asked me where to find certain vegetables.

Since I had my mask and gloves and was passing by a grocery store, I stopped and bought the vegetables. I even got a chance to thank the store employees for their work.

When I arrived at my niece’s home, I knocked gently in case the baby was sleeping. I thought I would have to wait another month to see the precious child, but to my surprise, my niece opened the door with her daughter in her arms. I was thrilled, yet I remembered to social distance and just gaze lovingly at her. God helped me keep COVID 2020

my gloved hands to myself and not ask to hold her. My niece and I had a short, uplifting conversation where she proudly told me that my great niece had grown an additional 0.5 inch (1.27cm), slept well and was even-tempered. It made me fondly remember my time as a new mother. My son (now 25 years old) had also slept well when he was a baby. After the conversation, I headed home. I was so happy, I practically skipped. God had used me to be of service!

After putting the groceries away, I sat

down to call my bank. I expected another long wait on the phone, but after less than five minutes, a patient employee explained that my issue had already been resolved. I am certain that this was God’s way of thanking me for being grateful and serving others. The wonderful feelings I receive from sharing myself sustain me and make me want to do more. Now I know that miracles happen when I pray for others and ask God to use me.

Juliette J., California, US

DANIELLE S., CA

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ay 39 of shelter in place and month By the second call, I remember that I do not 13 since my world truly turned up- always have to be the one who brings the exside-down after losing my 18-year- perience, strength, and hope, that as a fellow, old son. I feel like I have no “experience, I can be the one to receive it. These calls lift strength, and hope” to share with the online me from the place that my addict brain somegathering of fellows set for that evening. I times goes when it gets weary from life on consider not showing up and just taking the life’s terms and the unimaginable pain that night off. profound loss can bring into one’s life. These As I prepare my abcalls remind me of the stinent food for that I am renewed again by the idea gift that can be found evening’s dinner, I when sharing the load make the decision to that sometimes I can bring with understanding get some outreach fellows. calls done. Who to the experience, strength, and Call three—now call? The first two are that is a bit trickier. simple; return calls to hope and sometimes I can be Who to call? As I fellows, both of scroll through the exwhom have lived the one to receive it, but in the tensive list of fellows through many things who have become a best moments both happen. in Program and have part of my safety net an abundance of exin recovery during the perience, strength, and hope to share. These last two years I have been in FA, it hits me. fellows also have the wisdom to be genuine Why not call the lovely 94-year-old with two about the strange new world we are all living decades of experience in program? The two in while trying to be a part of the solution of of us had attended meetings together twice a not spreading COVID-19. As we speak week up until the abrupt changes that ocabout how we are feeling and the tools we are curred when our state’s shelter-in-place was using to deal with those feelings, I begin to declared. Her kind encouragement and honfeel stronger and more able to at least con- est sharing had carried me through some sider being a part of the evening’s fellowship. tough moments when I first joined the pro-

gram, as well as in the months and years to follow.

She had recently been unwell, and this call would be an opportunity to both give and receive some caring and cheer. Ring one, two, three, four. I am sure the answering machine is going to pick up. Just as I resign myself to that outcome, the line rings out with her lovely strong-sounding voice. She greets me with a vibrant hello, using my name with deliberate care. The familiarity with which she greets me feels so normal, so natural, so sweet.

For a brief moment, all seems right in the world. I can hear she is doing better. Through this final call I am filled with hope and the possibility of better times to come, and I am anchored in a way I thought I couldn’t get to today. Before we hang up, I tell her how this call has shifted my energy and she, too, shares that the call has lifted her spirits.

I am renewed again by the idea that sometimes I can bring the experience, strength, and hope and sometimes I can be the one to receive it, but in the best moments both happen. That evening, I show up for my fellows and my program. I am even able to share during our gathering. I share the gratitude I have for the changes in my mind, body, and spirit, which allow me to find a new path forward, even in times of great loss and uncertainty. I am once again filled with the infinite hope and power recovery can bring when I surrender to it.

Anonymous, California, US

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connection

Surrendering

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COVID 2020

Twelve Steps T

1. We admitted we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to food addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

5 Adapted with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous

Self-Care in a Pandemic

S

elf-care sounds great in theory— bubble baths and pedicures. But in real life, self-care is dealing with life on life’s terms, even when those terms are in the form of a world-altering pandemic.

My history, along with binge eating, is one of negativity. Alcoholics Anonymous states “[The grouch and the brainstorm] may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.” For me, the “brainstorm” includes fear, negativity, anger, and self-pity and a whole host of other character defects.

This is not to say I never venture down those paths; I am human. However, if I engage in negativity for too long, it will lead me back into the ultimate poison—food.

I don’t have TV, but I have become very selective of the media sources I read, and I have also pooled all my work emails related to the pandemic so I can read them at set times during the day rather than reacting to the onslaught filling my in-box every hour. Within days of the media deluge, I deleted certain social media apps off my phone. Between the politics and feardriven posts, I could just tell it wasn’t a healthy playground for me.

I have also taken care of myself by looking for the gratitude, and I have easily 6

found it, which is not something I was capable of even just a few years ago. My mom is high-risk due to her age and health and lives several hours away, but she is taking care of herself, and if needed, she could come and stay long-term without us being on top of each other. Anyone who knows me and my “mommy issues” knows that my willingness to even consider this option is proof of the miracles of the FA program.

I have been in Program since 2010, and have built a network of fellows who are like-minded, logical individuals. Some of these fellows have long-term abstinence; some struggle but never leave, others are fairly new, and all of us are affected in some form by this virus, but we have chosen not to give ownership to the fear. We share our fears, but we also share silly memes or other COVID-19 jokes we’ve heard. COVID-19 does not run all of our conversations. We also have other life issues, thoughts and feelings unrelated to the virus that we discuss, support, and help each other through, even when the greatest help is often just in the form of listening.

My corner of Washington state has always had very tiny meetings and qualifies COVID 2020

as the frontier. As one of the few fellows out here with back-to-back abstinence, I carry many service positions and often lead our meetings. Without face-to-face meetings, some of these service positions are not needed. Luckily, in 2013, I was asked to do service on the connection committee and have served in that position since. In addition, I continue to perform the service of sponsoring and have even started working with a sponsee trying to return after a year of experimenting on her own.

Helping others is another way I take care of myself, because I often hear what I needed to hear most when I am saying it to another fellow.

I am grateful that, because of my job, I was already adjusted to the hurdles of staying focused and attentive at home and also unplugging and being off when the day is done. My job has also had a fair amount of overnight travel, and therefore my sponsor and I have already had many discussions about abstinent food options when we are in a pinch. So when the healthy, fresh foods started dwindling to connection

nothing during the panic-buying stage of the pandemic, I was un-phased when I could not find my preferred items, as I already knew alternatives and already trusted that these empty shelves were not always going to be empty; I would get the food I needed. I trusted all my norms would be back in stock, and soon enough, they were.

Finally, I weigh and measure three abstinent meals a day. Our disease is cunning and baffling in that food is the problem, but tries so convincingly to tell us that it is the solution. I know there is only one solution for me. I tried the food as a solution and it beCINDY S., CA trayed me all the way up to 350 pounds and all the way down to a relentless depression. Weighing and measuring abstinent meals is the most significant self-care I do for myself each and every day: not because I want to every day, not because I feel like it every day, but because I need to every day. I need to take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually, and this program provides me a one-stop-shop for all my self-care needs.

Karen W., Washington, US 7

Isolating but Never Alone

D

espite my initial trepidation about staying home during the COVID19 pandemic, sheltering with my husband and my adult children has been a relatively stress-free experience. My prescient first reaction, “I can’t stay home! I need to get out or I will go crazy,” turned out to be wrong.

I get up in the morning, take my sponsee calls, do quiet time, read, eat breakfast, and exercise.

My husband (also a member of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous) and I work from home on our respective computers set up in different rooms of the house. I’m amazed by what I can accomplish during the day. My husband and I sometimes meet for lunch and always have dinner together, our version of date night. With their unusual schedule—in bed at 5 a.m. and up by 3 p.m., near the end of the work day—our children stay out of our way. After dinner we all go for walks, play games, watch movies, talk or clean. I find myself calmer and taking care of myself more.

Then it began! My kids started baking every other day or so. They bake something new or repeat something they love. The aroma is hard to escape. It triggers a mental binge about sweets. I start playing this game in my head.

Should I? Why not? No one is watching. No one will know. Maybe I should, just this once?

My son is a chef and baker, so being his mom, 8

I felt like I was missing out on his achievements.

Since joining FA in June 2015, I’ve shed 97 pounds (about 44 kilos) of the 214 pounds (about 97 kilos) I was carrying. Maintaining my abstinence has been quite an accomplishment for me. I was not a fan of FA at first. I was blind to the benefits because I had better ways to tweak the program. Eventually, I learned that my way was not the way.

I also learned from Program what would happen if I gave into that mental obsession over the baked goods. I wouldn’t eat just one or two sugar-flour products. It might be three or more. How would I be able to stop?

My kids’ almost-daily baking would be a challenge, but instead of giving in, I walk away and feel grateful that I have a program that works for me. I go right to my tools, whether I read, call a fellow, listen to an FA podcast, join a gathering on Zoom, or read Step One over and over to remind myself that I am and will always be a food addict. I go into another room and recite the Serenity Prayer and feel much better. I pray to God every day for my abstinence, and He listens. I cannot do this alone. I need God to guide me through these moments and walk with me through my journey of hope during this most difficult time.

Loretta C., Toronto, Canada COVID 2020

Paper Hugs

I

have to confess that I didn't take the them a few cards (beautifully decorated coronavirus warnings seriously. I was blank cards) so they could send paper shocked when my supervisor in- hugs to others on their hearts during these structed us to work from home until fur- scary times.

They received ther notice. I three paper hugs, thought, Yahoo! A three envelopes, paid vacation! I'll have three 55-cent stamps time to create greeting with a note suggestcards for my business ing passing on a hobby and, if time alpaper hug, if desired. lows, I'll clean out my They were so surcraft closet, too. Wink, prised and grateful. wink.

They loved the idea The gathering calls of sending their own on Zoom helped me MARYLOU R., NY paper hug. ♥ stay connected.

This helped me Upon listening to FA fellows share The postage money spent was keep busy and not dwell in fear about their fears, loneliness and concerns, I felt nothing in comparison to the this deadly virus.

The postage money so sad that I wanted binge foods I used to buy to spent was nothing in to give them a hug. comparison to the But we can't hug anynumb out and/or hurt myself. binge foods I used more because of soto buy to numb out cial distancing to and/or hurt myself. Staying home has stay healthy.

I thought, What if I were to mail them a helped me save more money and apprecigreeting card I just made? I will send them a ate what I already have. Now I can buy more paper! "paper hug!"

Mary Lou R., New York, US Well, that's exactly what I did. I mailed connection

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Gift of Abstinence and Time

A

s the COVID-19 experience off of doing too much. started in March of 2020, I was I work full-time, have a husband who travnine months abstinent. I remem- els extensively and three teenagers with very ber feeling confused, scared and unsettled full, active lives. With COVID-19, all activas I walked through the first few days of en- ities stopped. Abruptly. We transitioned to tering into this new world and reality of "so- a new world of working and learning from cial distancing," "sheltering in place" and home, moving from face-to-face meetings observing empty to phone gatherings. shelves at the grocery I have not been one I think my Higher Power stores. Many queswho likes to be at tions came to mind, was saying to me, not only have home, and now I was such as what will hapbeing asked to stay pen to our meetings, I given you the gift of abstinence home to keep myself will I have a job or and others safe and continue to get paid, through FA, I am giving you healthy. I was able to how will we do work my tools and school with our three connect with fellows. the gift of time to be still, teenagers, will my When I eat flour, be quiet, to slow down husband continue to sugar and quantities, travel for work, will my disease is trigand get closer to me. we cancel our spring gered and I crave break trip to the more and more, deGrand Canyon, and will I ever find toilet spite the tragic and devastating consepaper again? quences (self-hatred, self-loathing, and I was guided by my sponsor to stay in depression). When I connect with my today, work the program, do the tools and Higher Power, I find myself craving that weigh and measure my food. Being absti- more and more and the life-giving consenent, I abstain from flour, sugar, quantities, quences of peace, sanity and serenity. individual binge foods, and caffeine, but I I think my Higher Power was saying to can use the activity as a drug. I can get a hit me, not only have I given you the gift of ab-

stinence through FA, I am giving you the gift of time to be still, be quiet, to slow down and get closer to me. I have found peace of mind, continued neutrality with food, and the ability to be present for my family. My understanding of my Higher Power is growing. It is not my understanding that God causes car accidents, cancer and illness, job losses or worldwide pandemics like COVID-19, but my Higher Power demon-

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COVID 2020

ANONYMOUS

strates the good that can come from these difficult and challenging times. God cares about me and is my comforter, protector and friend. My Higher Power has gifted me abstinence, one day at a time, and will continue to meet all my needs. I welcome this opportunity to slow down and as a parent, my Higher Power is thrilled to have more time to spend alone with me.

LeeAnn W., Colorado, US 11

I Am a Food Addict

F

irst, let me start with saying that at this days, basked in the comfort of nostalgia. I moment, I am abstinent. One day at thought about calling my daughter who lives a time, I commit the third-step prayer in the hot spot of Brooklyn, NY just to hear and offer prayers to a higher power asking to her voice again. I wanted to pass on the be assisted in all efforts to remain abstinent recipe that I had cooked when they were littoday. I told my sponsor my plan for my food tle tykes, before their dad had passed away. I for this day. I also said that I planned on felt the need to share some memories. But going to the grocery better parenting market. I live alone, I learned in another So for right now, I will grab work from home, Twelve-Step program and I do not report to slowed me down. I my dog, put on gloves anyone for my work wanted to be respecton a daily basis. ful of her remote and a homemade mask, Therefore, my conworking hours, so nection to my spon- and walk with her for a while waiting patiently until sor is an integral, after five o’clock as I get spiritually centered. critical part of my would be an approprimental health within ate gesture. So I kept my recovery. cleaning out the refrigerator, making room She is not my higher power, nor my God, for new produce. nor my last word. My recovery is, in fact, in I told my sponsor I was planning to go to God’s hands, along with my ego, personality, the grocery store today. I wondered if it was strengths, and weaknesses. God’s grace cov- really necessary, because I was only out of leters my back as old Irish culture has passed tuce. Is it mature? Is it wise? It’s part of my down to me. So here I am, having no lettuce daily step work in life to ask myself questions left in my refrigerator. I have spent the last to eliminate “stinking thinking.” What are two hours preparing old perishable foods so my motivations in this action? What’s underthey will not be wasted in this time of poten- neath my choices? Am I afraid? Am I looktial scarcity. ing for distraction from difficult feelings?

I pulled out old recipes from my younger Am I looking to be entertained? Is looking 12

COVID 2020

at the stimulation of the colors, the foods, the actions of others in the store underneath this thought? Am I being loving, kind, and compassionate to my core wounded little girl self? A friend in the program once said, “Prior proper planning prevents poor performance.” I had once written that down and taped it to my refrigerator, but wondered if I had memorized it. It speaks to the need to value and protect my abstinence. God helps me and, with God’s grace, I have learned to pray. Am I properly planning to take action to stay abstinent? Have I called anyone this morning in my fellowship during all this alone time in the kitchen? Has my character quality of complete self-reliance kicked in?

Have I waited the recommended two or more weeks before going out there in public and keeping significant social distancing?

So for right now, I will grab my dog, put on gloves and a homemade mask, and walk with her for a while as I get spiritually centered. I’ll talk to a fellow in recovery with my baggycovered cellphone. Then I’ll wait while God helps me intuit what the next right thing to do is for me today. I am so very blessed to have a relationship with some kind of higher power and a willingness.

God bless you all. Thank you for listening to my stream of consciousness rambling.

This writing helps heal me and make me feel that authentic intimacy is worth the risk it is for me.

Lucinda L., New Hampshire, US connection

Twelve Traditions 1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on FA unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for FA membership is a desire to stop eating addictively.

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or FA as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the food addict who still suffers.

6. An FA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the FA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every FA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. FA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the FA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Adapted with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous 13

Fourth Stepping-in-Place

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hat an interesting time to be writing a Fourth Step, while sheltering-in-place!

Some people have said “Oh wow—on top of everything else?” I see it more as intertwined with everything else. I am finding this sheltering-in-place thing a very introspective time, so writing a “searching and fearless moral inventory” seems very fitting. All this social distancing—being inside, not being out and about, and not even getting together with family or my regular FA fellows, is providing an opportunity to go inside. As an introvert, I tend to do that anyway, yet I usually find plenty of distractions, as going inside is not always comfortable and, in this particular set of circumstances, I am seeing some character defects that have been dormant for some time.

I have found myself a bit more irritable than usual, with little things setting me off. The other night my husband said something that annoyed me and I overreacted. He then reacted to my overreaction and on it went. After about five minutes of this, he was the one who stopped and said, “Why are we fighting about this?” What I wanted to say was 14

“YOU STARTED IT!” Perhaps because I am abstinent and have been working this program for 16 years, or maybe because I am in the midst of doing my best to be fearless and thorough—whatever the reason—what I did instead was step back and take a look at what the intensity of my reaction was all about. His comment had felt like a criticism; I don’t like being criticized under normal circumstances, and our current circumstances are anything but normal. I owned my part, fessed up, and we carried on.

Another of my (least) favorite character defects is jealousy. It started way back in my relationship with my older sister. She and I are very close and jealousy of her has been a non-issue for some time. We now live about 12 minutes apart, which is a real treat, as we have not lived in proximity since we were kids and lived in the same house. We have been communicating via video conferencing and several joint emails and texts with extended family—cousins and the like.

As my sponsor often says, “When the conditions are right, the mushrooms will grow.” Well, sheltering in place has provided the perfect conditions for jealousy to once again show itself. Of course, my COVID 2020

sister’s emails were longer, funnier, and opportunities to be of service, both in more meaningful than mine; her text re- and outside of FA—being in contact with sponses came more quickly and, of those who do not have the resources that course, on our video calls, her hair looks I have, getting out of myself, and feeling ever so much better than mine. Once a connection to everyone on the planet, again, thanks to abstinence and the as we are all in this together. The first line scrutiny my character defects are getting of the tool of service reminds me that the just now, I recognized jealousy immedi- best service I have to offer is staying abately. I even interacted with it for a time, stinent. Pity my poor husband, with whom I am quaranuntil I decided I retined, if I were not ally did not want to All this social distancing— abstinent right now! hang out there for I think of the another five secbeing inside, not being out Twelve Steps and onds; I talked about it, did some writing, and about, and not even getting Twelve Traditions, in the Third Step, and moved on.

The Twelve Steps together with family or my where it says that, when members of and our tools of recovery have pro- regular FA fellows, is providing Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) were vided me with a an opportunity to go inside. sent off to war, structure, a rhythm many worried about to my life. Needless to say, I have been doing a great deal of their ability to stay sober. In looking at writing—daily journaling in addition to the record, it turned out that AA’s overmy Fourth Step. I have been attending seas often fared as well or better than both audio and video gatherings in my those at home. Well, we are “overseas” local area, as well as in other parts of the right now in unknown circumstances. country. I make sure I have the food I For me, this program is providing a navineed and am satisfied even when not hav- gation system to get me through these ing my favorite brands or the exact things uncharted waters. I have a rhythm to my life, guard rails and signposts along the I am used to.

Quiet time is more of a gift now than it way, and a Higher Power to hold me up ever has been, and there is so much to be through it all.

Glenny D., Florida, US grateful for. This time is also offering me connection

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Lighten Up! N

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COVID 2020

connection

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