P.E and Pearls

Fat. I was always fat. I was even a fat elementary Physical Education teacher for almost 35 years. Oh, I’m still teaching P.E. but I’m close to being in a right size body after an eighty pound (and counting) weight loss. Our school librarian, a close colleague, recently gifted me a strand of freshwater pearls. She is the samefriend who has the habit of reminding me daily that I need to put on lipstick! Two weeks ago, I joked with her that she was turning me into a lady and that when I start showing up to teach in pearls, her job would be complete. She gave me what I would not have afforded myself. Isn’t that how God works through others? He does for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

I was never able to lose weight with the hope to keep it off until F.A. My story is heard at nearly every meeting; losing weight and gaining it all back plus more. I’ve dieted away the equivalent weight of a large child more times than I can count in my 59 years. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on commercial weight loss groups. I couldn’t understand why I was successful in so many areas of my life but never could keep the weight off. Why does food call my name? Why can’t I stop eating? I called myself “a bulk eater” in an attempt to wrap my brain around my issue with food. I ate reasonably in public and hid my stash of flour and sugar products for binging in isolation. A year prior to finding F.A., I was proclaiming that “food is my drug of choice.” Now I recognize God was preparing me for the truth. And it is my truth; I have used food to numb myself and escape reality. I am a full-blown sensitive food addict.

Recovery is like the pearl necklace. For centuries, pearls have exemplified beauty and purity. And all that created by an irritant within the soft tissue of a living shelled mollusk; aggravated to the point where it produces layers of nacre (pronounced NAY-kur) creating the final hard object. My own sensitive soft tissue was irritated by fear, doubt, and insecurity. My tools to recovery are the strong, resilient, and protective nacre layers. I now wear a strand of freshwater pearls every day, right along with my shorts, polo shirt and athletic shoes, as a visible reminder of my recovery through F.A. God is slowly showing me that I am indeed something rare, fine, admirable, and valuable. A pearl.