My FA Journey

Over the nearly 16 years of my participation in Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), I have been privileged to experience three forms of our fellowship: first, as part of a large, well-established FA community; then, as a member of two fledgling fellowships; and now, on the FA frontier. Each has contributed something special and unique to my recovery, and I’m grateful that my FA journey has included these diverse experiences.

I started in FA in April 2005 in the San Francisco Bay Area, where there were an abundance of meetings. My first two years in the program were so important, laying the foundation for what a strong recovery looked like, and giving me the chance to see others model behavior at meetings for effective sharing, reading, and doing service. I took on a number of different service positions, but as a participant in mostly large meetings of 30 to 70 fellows or more, it was easy to sit back at times and blend into the group; there was always someone available to do what was needed. All these years later, when I visit meetings in the Bay Area, I love the fact that I still know about one-third of the people in the room. This is such a powerful testament to the value and lasting benefits of our program.

In July 2007, I moved to Spokane, Washington, where there was no established fellowship. With only two years of abstinence and one AWOL (A Way of Life, a study of the Twelve Steps) under my belt, I was nervous about sustaining my program, so I asked a fellow in California to co-lead a telephone AWOL with me. I thought that doing service as a co-leader would be a good way to keep me grounded and more connected to my recovery.

I soon discovered another FA member who had also relocated from California, and within a few months we started a new FA meeting. This was exciting and scary, but somehow by getting the word out and sharing with others, we slowly started attracting newcomers. At the same time, there was another new meeting about an hour away, across the state line in Idaho, started by fellows also formerly in the Bay Area. Within a few months, I had three committed FA meetings and I stopped attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings.

The new Idaho meeting was bolstered by fellows from two other “local” areas. There was a growing group of fellows from a city about an hour north, and a second group from an area about 90 minutes south. Occasionally, we even had folks attending all the way from Montana! I was inspired by everyone’s commitment to their recovery and willingness to “go to any lengths,” carpooling a long way each Saturday, especially in winter, when we often encountered extreme and sometimes dangerous weather conditions.

The Spokane fellowship continued to grow over the next two years, and we eventually started a second meeting. But then my comfortable recovery schedule was thrown a major curve when I accepted a job in a rural community about 75 miles south. This meant that I now had a nearly two-hour daily commute each way. How would I find time to attend my meetings and work my tools?

At first, I drove every day, on the road by 5:30AM. It was a peaceful drive through scenic rolling hills of fields growing wheat, barley, and peas, with barely any traffic, so I took sponsee calls during my morning commute and devoted the return home to outreach calls. But my work day was 14-hours long and I was struggling to get home in time to eat dinner and attend my weeknight FA meeting. After nearly a year of dividing my time in two cities, I was tired of such a long commute, so my husband and I bought a house and moved to the town where my job was located.

Being part of such a tiny fellowship was an amazing experience, and one for which I will always be grateful. These fellows became my dearest friends. We developed a deep and abiding intimacy and connectedness that I don’t think I would have achieved had I only experienced FA in a large fellowship. I treasure my relationships with these fellows, who are still an important and vital part of my recovery to this day. Looking back, I believe that the extra degree of responsibility to keep our tiny meetings strong and intact was the foundation for me developing an intense commitment to FA and my abstinence.

In 2016, I took a new job and relocated to Oregon. This put me on the FA frontier, with the nearest fellowship about two hours north. Since those meetings were all scheduled on weekday nights, it was not feasible for me to attend with my work schedule, commute traffic, eating dinner, and getting home at a reasonable hour. So my sponsor encouraged me to attend the nearest weekend meeting, which was located even a bit farther north.

I didn’t follow her suggestion right away, instead attending meetings from other Twelve Step programs and participating in a telephone AWOL. I felt that I was doing fine, even without an FA meeting. I’m embarrassed to admit that, during one conversation with my sponsor, balking at the idea of giving up my Saturday, I said, “Frankly, I’m not desperate enough to go to that meeting regularly.” After all, by that point I had more than 12 years of abstinence and was arrogant enough to think I didn’t need FA meetings. Was I wrong! The first time I visited that Saturday morning meeting, I had to fight back tears the entire time. I was so grateful to be with my fellows.

Since the pandemic, the entire FA fellowship is on the frontier, and as with all things in life, this brings blessings as well as disadvantages. I love seeing and hearing fellows from all over the world in our virtual gatherings. Yes, for those in established fellowships, these online gatherings might not be as good as being together in person, but for me, being on the frontier, these virtual meetings have been a powerful lifeline and a boon for my recovery. Though I am tremendously grateful for the availability of meetings from other Twelve Step programs and their welcoming generosity, I still find my strongest recovery comes through FA, where I can freely share about my food addiction with fellows who share that same disease.

I believe that my experiences as part of the widespread FA community in the Bay Area, as a core member of two tiny fellowships, and as a fellow on the FA frontier gives me a unique perspective and ability to relate with other fellows. I value every lesson learned along the way and cherish the people I have connected with in each of these communities. I’m grateful that my diverse FA journey has taught me how to successfully thrive in recovery and maintain my abstinence, no matter where I live or the size of the fellowship.