Tempering the Talk

In recovery from food addiction I need to be careful not only of what I put into my mouth, but also the words that come out of it. When I was active in my addiction, I had no filter; I said whatever came to mind. If someone couldn’t handle what I said, I thought that was their issue. I took zero responsibility.

Gratefully, I have since changed my opinion. In recovery, I want to take responsibility for my words. I can share my story openly and honestly, but I don’t have to express my political or sociological views at a meeting. Others may have opposing opinions and values. There are other places to debate opinions on those issues, because while they may affect me tremendously, these issues are not directly related to my recovery from food addiction.

I come from an inner-city background and the language commonly used in my home could be offensive to those without this same background. When I first came into FA, my qualification focused on that background and fellows commented on how dramatic it was. How much of it, though, was related to food addiction?

In a meeting, I want to hear about recovery from food addiction and I want to focus my own sharing on that. Yes, I need to share what is happening with me, but within the framework of how using our tools centers me or how the step I’m working in my AWOL is helping me change and grow. This is how I believe my sharing can be useful for other FA members.

If there is something going on with me that feels a bit less focused on food addiction or if I am troubled by a disturbing memory, I can discuss it with my sponsor or share it on outreach calls.

I do not want my words to be a distraction to anyone at an FA meeting, nor do I want to say something hurtful. I stay away from political and social issues, focusing instead on my recovery from food addiction. I avoid saying things that are negative or judgmental of others; instead, I ask myself how I can help all feel welcome. What can I share about living through life’s challenges abstinently?

As I continually engage in the study of the Twelve Steps, I become more aware of how I can depend on my Higher Power for help. So often I hear a quiet little voice that says “Don’t say anything” or “be gentle with those words.” I know this is a nudge from my Higher Power. I’m learning to listen—although sometimes I ignore the hint and then need to make amends. I know that in the past I have said hurtful things in meetings, and for that I sincerely apologize, because even if I haven’t meant them in a harmful manner, my words can still hurt someone.

Today, I want to open my heart to all food addicts, stay abstinent, and refrain from using language or a tone that may cause harm. Recovery feels really good and I want to continue to let my Higher Power transform me by showing me how to grow in love and tolerance.