SOUTHERN WITH A GAY TWIST
05.20.16 V7-10
Dates in old quebec
a body, undone
Summer Heat BY DANNY GRIFFIN
FENUXE Contents
05.20.2016
Summer Heat BY DANNY GRIFFIN
PG 30
06
CALENDAR: 8 GREAT THINGS TO DO
10
OUT & ABOUT PHOTOS
22
DATES IN OLD QUEBEC
24
BOOK REVIEW: A BODY UNDONE
26
BEHAVIOR CHANGE
30
SUMMER HEAT
36
HEY GIRL HEY
38
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Friday, May 20 Atlanta Ballet presents MAYhem Kissed, featuring the Atlanta premiere of Gustavo Ramírez Sansano’s “El Beso,” Yuri Possokhov’s “Classical Symphony” and a world premiere from Andrea Miller at 8 p.m. Friday, 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. Saturday and a 2 p.m. curtain Sunday, Cobb Energy Centre, www. cobbenergycentre.com
OF CONTROL MAY 22
THEATRE
“
MAZING
RENAISSANCE Now Thru June Ready to have a medieval blast? Guests at the Renassance Festival this year will be greeted by Queen Anne Boleyn and her Court, merry minstrels, fair maidens, gallant Knights in shining armor and a full-day of entertainment on 10 stages, food fit for kings, and a marketplace of over 150 master artisans. You will not want to miss this one! MUSIC MAY 24
MAYHEM KISSED
MAY 20
COMMUNITY
FUN
BRITNEY BASH
LEZ TALK
Friday, May 20 Charis presents readings from “Lez Talk.” A necessary and relevant addition to the black LGBTQ literary canon, “Lez Talk” is a collection of short stories that embrace the fullness of black lesbian experiences. At once provocative, emotional, adventurous and celebratory, “Lez Talk” crosses a range of fictional genres, including romance, speculative and humor. 7:30 – 9 p.m.
Saturday, May 21st Atlanta Pride presents the third annual Atlanta Eagle Britney Bash with DJ Pat Scott and special guest star Buck Cooke, former Atlanta Pride executive director, who will be visiting from London. Get ready to have the time of your life! 10 p.m. – 3 a.m., www.atlantaeagle.com
FUN CHARITY
SPORTS
MAY 25 05.03.15
NOW
MAY 20
FUN
MAY 21
BALLET
MAY 26
CALENDAR
– THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
Sunday, May 22 Beehive” is a high-energy musical revue tracing the coming of age of women’s music through dozens of popular hits of the girl groups and solo singers of the 1960’s. The Chiffons, The Supremes, Tina Turner, and Aretha Franklin are just some of the 60’s pop stars portrayed by the super talented cast. Atlanta Lyric Theatre - www. atlantalyrictheatre.com
BEAUTIFUL
Tuesday, May 24 She fought her way into the record business as a teenager and, by the time she reached her twenties, had the husband of her dreams and a flourishing career writing hits for the biggest acts in rock ‘n’ roll. But it wasn’t until her personal life began to crack that she finally found her true voice. The Tonywinning “Beautiful” opens at the Fox Theatre tonight. www.foxtheatre.org
DIARY OF A MADMAN Sunday, May 25 World conflict. Global warming. Presidential primaries. Crazy! In an insane world, excellent theater is the only sane solution. Prodan Dimov’s awardwinning direction of Nikolai Gogol’s masterpiece, starring acclaimed actor Jon Hayden, will take your mind off it all. Synchronicity Theatre. www.synchrotheatre.com
ON SALE NOW! MAY 24-29
FoxTheatre.org/Beautiful • 855-285-8499
THE BIG PEACH Photo: Joan Marcus
BEEHIVE
Thursday, May 26 When some 49 LGBT softball teams gather at the Metro Atlanta Softball Complex (“Metro fields”) over Memorial Day weekend, chances are that there will be as many rainbow colors as there will be bats and balls. The Big Peach softball tournament kicks off tonight, bringing in players from all over the country, various fields, bigpeachtournament. sportngin.com FENUXE.COM : 6
New Odefsey is now available Actual Size (15.4 mm x 7.3 mm)
One small pill contains rilpivirine, emtricitabine, and tenofovir alafenamide (TAF).
Ask your healthcare provider if ODEFSEY is right for you. To learn more visit ODEFSEY.com
Please see Brief Summary of Patient Information with important warnings on the adjacent pages.
Brief Summary of Patient Information about ODEFSEY ODEFSEY (oh-DEF-see) (emtricitabine, rilpivirine and tenofovir alafenamide) tablets Important: Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with ODEFSEY. There may be new information about ODEFSEY. This information is only a summary and does not take the place of talking with your healthcare provider about your medical condition or treatment. What is the most important information I should know about ODEFSEY? ODEFSEY can cause serious side effects, including: • Build-up of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis). Lactic acidosis may happen in some people who take ODEFSEY or similar medicines. Lactic acidosis is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Lactic acidosis can be hard to identify early, because the symptoms could seem like symptoms of other health problems. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms which could be signs of lactic acidosis: – feel very weak or tired – have unusual (not normal) muscle pain – have trouble breathing – have stomach pain with nausea or vomiting – feel cold, especially in your arms and legs – feel dizzy or lightheaded – have a fast or irregular heartbeat • Severe liver problems. Severe liver problems may happen in people who take ODEFSEY. In some cases, these liver problems can lead to death. Your liver may become large and you may develop fat in your liver. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms of liver problems: – your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice) – dark “tea-colored” urine – light-colored bowel movements (stools) – loss of appetite – nausea – pain, aching, or tenderness on the right side of your stomach area • You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight (obese), or have been taking ODEFSEY or a similar medicine for a long time. • Worsening of Hepatitis B virus (HBV) infection. ODEFSEY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have HBV and take ODEFSEY, your HBV may get worse (flare-up) if you stop taking ODEFSEY. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection suddenly returns in a worse way than before. – Do not run out of ODEFSEY. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider before your ODEFSEY is all gone. – Do not stop taking ODEFSEY without first talking to your healthcare provider. – If you stop taking ODEFSEY, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and do blood tests regularly for several months to check your HBV infection. Tell your healthcare provider about any new or unusual symptoms you may have after you stop taking ODEFSEY.
What is ODEFSEY? ODEFSEY is a prescription medicine that is used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older: • who have not received HIV-1 medicines in the past and have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL, or • to replace their current HIV-1 medicines in people who have been on the same HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months, have a viral load that is less than 50 copies/mL, and have never failed past HIV-1 treatment. It is not known if ODEFSEY is safe and effective in children under 12 years of age or who weigh less than 77 lb (35 kg). When used to treat HIV-1 infection, ODEFSEY may help: • Reduce the amount of HIV-1 in your blood. This is called “viral load”. • Increase the number of CD4+ (T) cells in your blood that help fight off other infections. Reducing the amount of HIV-1 and increasing the CD4+ (T) cells in your blood may help improve your immune system. This may reduce your risk of death or getting infections that can happen when your immune system is weak (opportunistic infections). ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. You must keep taking HIV-1 medicines to control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses. Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others. Do not share or re-use needles, injection equipment, or personal items that can have blood or body fluids on them. Do not have sex without protection. Always practice safer sex by using a latex or polyurethane condom to lower the chance of sexual contact with semen, vaginal secretions, or blood.
Who should not take ODEFSEY? Do not take ODEFSEY if you also take a medicine that contains: • carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro ®, Tegretol®, Tegretol-XR®, Teril®) • dexamethasone (Ozurdex®, Maxidex®, Decadron®, BaycadronTM) • dexlansoprazole (Dexilant®) • esomeprazole (Nexium®, Vimovo ®) • lansoprazole (Prevacid®) • omeprazole (Prilosec ®, Zegerid®) • oxcarbazepine (Trileptal®) • pantoprazole sodium (Protonix®) • phenobarbital (Luminal®) • phenytoin (Dilantin®, Dilantin-125 ®, Phenytek®) • rabeprazole (Aciphex®) • rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®) • rifapentine (Priftin®) • the herb St. John’s wort or a product that contains St. John’s wort
What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking ODEFSEY? Before taking ODEFSEY, tell your healthcare provider if you: • have liver problems including hepatitis B or C virus infection • have kidney and bone problems • have had depression or suicidal thoughts • have any other medical conditions • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if ODEFSEY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking ODEFSEY.
Pregnancy registry: there is a pregnancy registry for women who take HIV-1 medicines during pregnancy. The purpose of this registry is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. Talk with your healthcare provider about how you can take part in this registry. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take ODEFSEY. – You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby. – At least one of the medicines in ODEFSEY can pass to your baby in your breast milk. It is not known if the other medicines in ODEFSEY can pass into your breast milk. – Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Some medicines may interact with ODEFSEY. Keep a list of your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. • You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for a list of medicines that interact with ODEFSEY. • Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider. Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take ODEFSEY with other medicines. How should I take ODEFSEY? • Take ODEFSEY exactly as your healthcare provider tells you to take
• •
• • •
it. ODEFSEY is taken by itself (not with other HIV-1 medicines) to treat HIV-1 infection. Take ODEFSEY 1 time each day with a meal. Do not change your dose or stop taking ODEFSEY without first talking with your healthcare provider. Stay under a healthcare provider’s care when taking ODEFSEY. Do not miss a dose of ODEFSEY. If you take too much ODEFSEY, call your healthcare provider or go to the nearest hospital emergency room right away. When your ODEFSEY supply starts to run low, get more from your healthcare provider or pharmacy. This is very important because the amount of virus in your blood may increase if the medicine is stopped for even a short time. The virus may develop resistance to ODEFSEY and become harder to treat.
What are the possible side effects of ODEFSEY? ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects, including: • See “What is the most important information I should know about ODEFSEY?” • Severe skin rash and allergic reactions. Skin rash is a common side effect of ODEFSEY. Rash can be serious. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get a rash. In some cases, rash and allergic reaction may need to be treated in a hospital. If you get a rash with any of the following symptoms, stop taking ODEFSEY and call your healthcare provider right away: – fever – skin blisters – mouth sores – redness or swelling of the eyes (conjunctivitis) – swelling of the face, lips, mouth or throat – trouble breathing or swallowing – pain on the right side of the stomach (abdominal) area – dark “tea-colored” urine
• Depression or mood changes. Tell your healthcare provider right
away if you have any of the following symptoms: – feel sad or hopeless – feel anxious or restless – have thoughts of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt yourself • Change in liver enzymes. People with a history of hepatitis B or C virus infection or who have certain liver enzyme changes may have an increased risk of developing new or worsening liver problems during treatment with ODEFSEY. Liver problems can also happen during treatment with ODEFSEY in people without a history of liver disease. Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your liver enzymes before and during treatment with ODEFSEY. • Changes in body fat can happen in people who take HIV-1 medicine. These changes may include increased amount of fat in the upper back and neck (“buffalo hump”), breast, and around the middle of your body (trunk). Loss of fat from the legs, arms and face may also happen. The exact cause and long-term health effects of these conditions are not known. • Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having any new symptoms after starting your HIV-1 medicine. • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys before you start and while you are taking ODEFSEY. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking ODEFSEY if you develop new or worse kidney problems. • Bone problems can happen in some people who take ODEFSEY. Bone problems may include bone pain, softening or thinning (which may lead to fractures). Your healthcare provider may need to do tests to check your bones. The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble sleeping (insomnia), and headache. The most common side effect of emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide, two of the medicines in ODEFSEY, is nausea. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away. • These are not all the possible side effects of ODEFSEY. For more information, ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist. • Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088. This Brief Summary summarizes the most important information about ODEFSEY. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for information about ODEFSEY that is written for health professionals. For more information, call 1-800-445-3235 or go to www.ODEFSEY.com. Keep ODEFSEY and all medicines out of reach of children. Issued: March 2016
ODEFSEY, the ODEFSEY logo, EMTRIVA, GILEAD, the GILEAD Logo, and GSI are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other trademarks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. © 2016 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. GILC0216 03/16
OUT & ABOUT
10: May 20, 2016
PHOTOS
2016 HRC DINNER GALA PHOTOS BY: SHER PRUITT
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OUT & ABOUT
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PHOTOS
CHASTAIN ARTS FESTIVAL PHOTOS BY: SHER PRUITT
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OUT & ABOUT
14: May 20, 2016
PHOTOS
PARTY @ JOES ON JUNIPER PHOTOS BY: SHER PRUITT
Come View our Decorated Model
Towns at Druid Hills Townhomes from the low $500s For more information, please call Bakari Maxwell or Tarecia Johnson at 404.634.4485.
Limited Time Only! Purchase a New Home and Receive:
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* Available only when you close on a to-be-built home in the Towns at Druid Hills community in the Atlanta division being marketed under Ryland Homes pursuant to a contract you sign on or between April 1, 2016 and May 31, 2016. Seller provided “Use How You Choose” credits may be applied to closing costs, design center options, lot premiums, finished basement and other structural options. Upgrades and options available solely through Seller’s Design Center. Availability of items may vary by community. Offer does not have any cash value. ** Available only when you close on a home in the Towns at Druid Hills community in the Atlanta division being marketed under Ryland Homes pursuant to a contract you sign on or between April 1, 2016 and May 31, 2016. Receipt of closing cost credit is contingent upon buyer closing a loan with our affiliated lender, CalAtlantic Mortgage, and closing through a CalAtlantic Homes preferred closing attorney, and is subject to limits. The combined value of seller incentives, credits and other seller contributions may exceed lender limits established for the loan program for which buyer qualifies. Buyer should ask his or her lender about the impact of such limits. Prices, plans, and terms are effective on the date of publication and subject to change without notice. Depictions of homes or other features are artist conceptions. Hardscape, landscape, and other items shown may be decorator suggestions that are not included in the purchase price and availability may vary. CalAtlantic Mortgage, Inc.®, NMLS ID #203897, Georgia Residential Mortgage Licensee Number 24225, 8660 E Hartford Drive Suite 200a, Scottsdale, AZ 85255 and branch location 1000 Mansell Exchange West, Suite 210, Alpharetta, GA 30022 License #68278. © 2016 CalAtlantic Group, Inc. RA2065
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OUT & ABOUT
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PHOTOS
DERBY PARTY @ BLAKES ON THE PARK PHOTOS BY: SHER PRUITT
New Townhome Designs Towns at Breton Ridge Townhomes from the mid $300s For more information, please call Heather Isaac at 678.627.0772.
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* Available only when you close on a to-be-built home in the Towns at Breton Ridge community in the Atlanta division being marketed under Ryland Homes pursuant to a contract you sign on or between April 1, 2016 and May 31, 2016. Seller provided “Use How You Choose” credits may be applied to closing costs, design center options, lot premiums, finished basement and other structural options. Upgrades and options available solely through Seller’s Design Center. Availability of items may vary by community. ** Available only when you close on a home in the Towns at Breton Ridge community in the Atlanta division being marketed under Ryland Homes pursuant to a contract you sign on or between April 1, 2016 and May 31, 2016. Receipt of closing cost credit is contingent upon buyer closing a loan with our affiliated lender, CalAtlantic Mortgage, and closing through a CalAtlantic Homes preferred closing attorney, and is subject to limits. The combined value of seller incentives, credits and other seller contributions may exceed lender limits established for the loan program for which buyer qualifies. Buyer should ask his or her lender about the impact of such limits. Prices, plans, and terms are effective on the date of publication and subject to change without notice. Depictions of homes or other features are artist conceptions. Hardscape, landscape, and other items shown may be decorator suggestions that are not included in the purchase price and availability may vary. CalAtlantic Mortgage, Inc.®, NMLS ID #203897, Georgia Residential Mortgage Licensee Number 24225, 8660 E Hartford Drive Suite 200a, Scottsdale, AZ 85255 and branch location 1000 Mansell Exchange West, Suite 210, Alpharetta, GA 30022 License #68278. © 2016 CalAtlantic Group, Inc. RA2065
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OUT & ABOUT
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PHOTOS
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OUT & ABOUT
20: May 20, 2016
PHOTOS
PURPLE DRESS RUN OPENING PARTY @ THE HIDEAWAY PHOTOS BY: ANDREA DWYER
SPOTLIGHT BY: TOM CORBETT
ROMANTIC DATE IDEAS FOR A TRIP TO OLD QUEBEC
For a romantic getaway with European charm, head to Old QuĂŠbec where you can find charming cobblestone streets, horse-drawn carriages and intimate French bistros right here on our own continent.
22: May 20, 2016
Québec City in Québec, Canada was founded way back in 1608. The original section, known as Old Québec, is the only neighborhood in North America that has preserved its stone bastions and gates, which lends it a old-world European flair. It’s the perfect background for a romantic trip to sweep your beloved off their feet. Take A Romantic Stroll Through The City Old Québec is a UNESCO heritage site, meaning there’s no shortage of charming, age-old buildings lining the cobblestone streets. Spend a leisurely morning meandering through narrow alleyways and visiting antique shops in the Old Port area and exquisite boutiques in Quartier Petit Champlain. Or take a stroll on promenade Samuel-De Champlain, named after the city’s founder. It’s a stunning boardwalk with a view on the St. Lawrence River built around a reclaimed industrial wharf that features an observation tower, themed gardens and lots of walking paths. Take A Carriage Ride Nothing says romance like two lovers cuddling in a horse-drawn carriage beneath the stars. It’s a magical experience from a bygone era that perfectly suits a city that sometimes feels frozen in time. Enjoy An Intimate Tête-àtête At Château Frontenac’s Bar Château Frontenac has
access to the most stunning views in all of Québec City. Its imposing presence atop a cliff overlooking the St. Lawrence River gives this landmark a special status all on its own. The 1608 Wine & Cheese Bar in the hotel offers an exquisite selection of top local cheeses and a vast selection of quality wines. Share a beautifully arranged platter while enjoying a tête-à-tête. Pack A Picnic And Head To Terrace Dufferin The Terrace Dufferin boardwalk overlooking the St. Lawrence River is the perfect spot for a romantic picnic for two. Pack a basket with a fresh baguette or buttery croissants from Café-boulangerie Le Paillard or l’Épicerie J.A. Moisan alongside an assortment of delectable local cheeses, charcuterie, homemade jams, and desserts for the perfect
It’s a magical experience from a bygone era that perfectly suits a city that sometimes feels frozen in time.
afternoon. A Candlelit Dinner At SaintAmour Awaken your senses at SaintAmour, a not-to-be-missed fine dining destination in Old Québec and a long-time foodie favourite. French terroir cuisine, a lush indoor garden, and one of the most impressive wine cellars you’ll ever come across -- if that doesn’t say romance, what does? Poutine For Two Visiting on a budget and can’t afford to make every meal a grandiose affair? Money should never stand in the way of romance. Head over to Snack Bar Saint-Jean and re-enact the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp, but this time with a string of melted cheese. Share a poutine, an affordable and quintessentially Québec offering of French fries, gravy and cheese curds. This place stays open until 5 a.m. so you can save it for your afterhours fun. Spend The Day At The Spa
Is there anything more relaxing and sensual than a day at the spa? Sibéria Station Spa is one of the best in town. Spend the day enjoying the outdoor hot tubs, relaxing in the Finnishstyle sauna and eucalyptus steam baths or get a couple’s massage. You’ll love life (and each other) more than ever after all this pampering. Enjoy A Decadent Brunch At Le Clocher Penché The region’s famous joie de vivre certainly shows up in everyone’s love for weekend brunch. Poached eggs, duck rillettes, salmon tartar and buckwheat pancakes are on the menu at this stylish place in the classy Saint Roch district. They also prepare gourmet lunch bags for those picnicking in style, so take notes for next time. With Old Québec, there’ll always be a next time. Old Québec, a UNESCO world heritage treasure, is alive with history. See for
yourself and book a trip now. So Europe. So close. FENUXE.COM : 23
REVIEW
By: Terri Schlichenmeyer
BOOK REVIEW:
T
“A BODY, UNDONE” BY CHRISTINA CROSBY
ouch your ear.
Go ahead. Reach up there and give it a tug. Either ear, it doesn’t matter, just grab and pull. The point is that when you want to tug your ear, scratch an itch, chew your nails, or wiggle your toes, you can without much effort – and once you’ve read “A Body, Undone” by Christina Crosby, you’ll appreciate it more. For most of her first fifty years on earth, Christina Crosby was strong, confident, and determined. She played hard, excelled at sports, was passionate about her professorship at Wesleyan University, and was planning life with her partner, Janet. And then everything changed: nearly a month after her fiftieth birthday, Crosby’s speedy, custom-fit bicycle caught a branch in its front wheel and stopped abruptly, bucking her off, knocking her to the pavement. She took the full brunt of the accident on her chin, which broke her neck. Weeks later, she woke up in ICU, a quadriplegic. When she was growing up in a small Pennsylvania town, Crosby and her older brother were raised to know that neither was better than the other. Because Jeff had been a year older, Crosby says she often fantasized that they were twins; indeed, they tussled and competed as though they were. But then, as a relatively young man, Jeff was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and was eventually wheelchair-bound. Her old dreams and the irony of the situation didn’t escape Crosby’s notice. With the help of her “lover,” assorted friends, and paid caregivers, Crosby began to learn to live differently. She could no longer ride a bike or motorcycle, walk, take the stairs, or use a pen or bathroom by herself. Getting showered took two extra people and ten steps. Her sex life adapted but her bowels did not. And though it’s been more than a decade since the accident, Crosby admits that she still has fears: she’s afraid of grief, of making peace with her situation. Afraid that there’ll come a time when she will no longer want to live… On many levels, “A Body, Undone” is a surprise. Readers will almost immediately notice that author Christina Crosby is matter-of-factly blunt. Just as you’ll learn that modesty is
near-impossible when relying on caregiver help for the most basic bodily functions, you’ll also learn that – at least for Crosby – that easy attitude extends to sharing her reality. That’s not at all a bad thing; it’s just a surprise, especially when it comes to bathrooms, bedrooms, and profanity. The second, most welcome, surprise is that there’s a good amount of warmth in this book, despite its sometimes-winceful subject matter. It’s filled with friends and family, and memories of them, which seems a nice distraction from the shocking details of Crosby’s accident and its aftermath. This is a powerful book that asks its readers to think about many things. It’s not an easy read, but it’s not one you’ll easily be able to tear yourself away from, either. “A Body, Undone” won’t just touch your heart – it’ll tug at your mind, too. By: Always Overbooked... Terri Schlichenmeyer The Bookworm Sez, LLC bookwormsez@gmail.com Bio: The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer. Terri has been reading since she was 3 years old and she never goes anywhere without a book. She lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 14,000 books
Ollison counted on music to anchor him. It was his means of escape as his oldest sister took her rage out on him, as his family moved repeatedly, as he was bullied in school for “actin’ like a woman.”
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Spiritual Fitness
FAITH
BY JOSHUA NEAL
BEHAVIOR CHANGE WITHIN THE MIND AND BODY 1. You must want change for personal improvements for yourself. That starts by taking a deep and honest inventory of your current behaviors, and you have to do it because you want to do it. 2. You must began to evaluate your environment. Ask yourself: “is this place right for me?” 3. Increase you way of thinking and the ability to change. Repetition is important. You may not succeed each time but when you fall you get back up and keep trying the more the behavior is positive the more the mind begins to take over the body leading to a better overall life. 4. Evaluate your social activities and influences. Changing behaviors also mean possibly changing your social network. Must behaviors are improved by practicing more than one of these steps and most successful at practicing all.
This day and age it is no longer a
debate that there is a direct connection between your mind and your body. A healthier mind equal a healthier body. A troubled or uneasy mind equals and troubled Body. By changing our minds and behaviors, we can really change our bodies and overall our lives. Behavior change is complex and can be a challenge for many people but the progress and results are rewarding. I would to dive right into behavior change. According to Wikipedia: Behavior change is a transformation or modification of human behavior and is used Behavior Change Therapy is used especially for those that are dealing with any type of unconstructiveness, disability, negativity, addiction, mental disorder or stress. “Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice & change; it is not a thing to be achieved.” - William Jennings Bryan. “No one is like me, no one else has the exact same view, experience or feelings as
26: May 20, 2016
me. No one know how I truly feel inside. No one can change me, only I can change me.” – Joshuah Neal This statement may sound very arrogant but it is not. I tell my clients and members all the time that only you can change yourself. We can have the best support system, read countless self-help book & guides, we can get help from any therapist or counselor, we can have all the answer at your fingertips and see all the signs but the CHANGE is within ourselves. I can only CHANGE myself and you can only change yourself. Behavior change can be hard and challenging. It’s a progrogression for me but the results along the way have been very rewarding. The purpose of this article is to offer direct communication and help with anyone that needs additional guidance with behavior change. But again only ADDITIONAL GUIDANCE, the change is up to you. Let’s go in depth into the ways that we can increase the chances of changing unwanted behaviors. I have found 4 ways that that can help your behavior change:
According to writers at Stanford University there are 10 mistakes we all make in Behavior Change. They are listed below. The words that are in parenthesis are to give you more insight on the mistake listed and/or handle the mistake which some are some personal advise from me. 1. Relying on willpower ( try to imagine that will power doesn’t exist) 2. Attempting big leaps ( take everything step by step) 3. Ignoring our environment and how it shapes our behaviors ( change the environment and begin to change your life) 4. Trying to stop old behaviors and instead of creating new ones ( focus on action not avoidance) 5. Blaming failures on lack of motivation or progress (make the new behavior easier to do) 6. Underestimating the power of triggers and negativity (know your negative surroundings and know your triggers, no behaviors happens without triggers) 7. Believing that information leads to action( we are not as rational as we think that’s why it is up to you to change yourself) 8. Focusing on abstracts goals instead of concrete goals (abstract: get in shape, concrete: walk/jog 15 mins a day)
9. Seeking to a behavior forever instead of a period of time. (Focus on small goals for a small period of time, not large goals forever.) 10. Assuming that behavior change is impossible. (Behavior change is a progress and can be accomplished with the right process and mind.)
The Brain!
When you are hoping to change behaviors into better ones, you must understand the brain and how it responds to change, especially when you are thinking about getting healthier and staying that way. The brain initially does not like it. Your brain will resist any new behavior in the beginning ie; eating healthy, exercising, quitting alcohol or drugs. It will complain and makes excuses which is what you will do. That’s where you sometimes get discourage or relapse come into play. In the beginning phases of behavior change you have to understand that your brain is more of an adversary that a friend. Your brain is just trying to protect those old behaviors. The brain is trained to see any CURRENT behavior necessary for survival. With repetition, the more that you train you mind to tell your brain to change your behaviors the more your brain will began to accept the changes. Therefore it is a progress. Just like before the bad habits when you were NOT eating a lot, not having negative thoughts and feelings, not drinking a lot, not doing drugs, not gambling, etc., your brain was introduced to these bad behaviors it was and adversary to them. Especially when you would wake up the next morning feeling horrible. It’s a challenge when you try to change a habitual behavior your brain says no no no, however again you have to program your mind over the matter to program your brain and body yes yes yes. According to Phillippa Lally at the University of London, people begins to see good habits and behaviors developed about 66 days in practice. That’s the 66 day rule. Try it! Most of have heard of the 21 day rule, which is true. Its take about 21 days for your brain to develop muscle memory for behavior change. That’s why the first 21 days is very important. But at day 66
your brain begins to protect the new habit that has developed not the old bad and behavior. So start with 21 then increase to 40…50….and 66 and see what happens. I will never say that changing a behavior is easy or hard. Loving you and living the life that is truly meant for you is worth all the pains, labor, hard work and efforts. No one know how you truly feel. You will know when you feel the need to change. You will put every effort forward and even though you may fall you get your Ass right back up and try harder the next time. That’s what I did. And just like I mention earlier it’s a progress but the results and success feel so good and rewarding. Personal note: I speak and write only from personal experience and I am not ashamed. I rode my bike to work today and on my way I had about three different opportunities result to previous bad behaviors, but with the help of Jesus in my presence and my mind programming my brain to new behaviors, I am to sit in this chair write this article and smile realizing that I have succeeded yet another day. I hope this helps! Joshua Neal Behavioral Health Coach & Fitness Expert Fitness Expert www.tinyhabits .com www.anytimefitness.com www.crisistextline.com Behavioral Health & Development 2 Peachtree St NW Atlanta, Ga 404-657-2252
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WHAT IT MEANS TO BE
BY: STEPHANIE MOTT
TRANSGENDER/GENDER NON-CONFORMING? means I have endured, and will continue to endure, being referred to by more pejoratives than I can keep track of. It means I have had to make decisions about maintaining relationships with family members versus living my life authentically. Being TGNC also means to me that I have been on an amazing journey of self-discovery. I have had no choice but to look deep within and learn about the person who is me. I have learned to love my TGNC-ness. This makes me one of the lucky ones. In many of my more than 400 public presentations about being transgender, I have borrowed an old, but relevant, statement - If you ask 100 transgender people what it means to be transgender, you will get 103 different answers. This is because by the time you get 100 transgender people to answer the question, three of us have changed our minds. Not to say transgender people are any more unable to make up our minds than anyone else. It speaks to the elusive nature of the question. What does it mean to be TGNC (Transgender/Gender NonConforming)? Well, the short answer to the question has two parts. The first part is that it means something different to every TGNC human being. The second part is pretty simple. That’s okay. I’m gonna venture to say, if you use the word snow, it will mean something different to someone who lives in Denver, than it does to someone who lives in upstate New York, and yet something different to someone who lives in Houston. It means something different to different people because they have different lived-experiences. 29: May 20, 2016
It is beyond important to recognize that different TGNC people have different lived-experiences, as well. This does not make them less transgender or gender nonconforming. This does not remove anyone’s right to identify as TGNC or not.
One of the ways I like to explore what somethings means is to also explore what it doesn’t mean. Being transgender does not mean I am bad, sick, sinful, confused, or disordered. Being transgender does not mean I am a lesser human being.
Lived experiences. Different if you were allowed to thrive or if you spent years dying silently. Different if you live in a city or if you live in a rural area. Different if you have supportive family or if you lose everyone you have ever believed loved you. Different if you are Caucasian or if you are a person of color.
Being transgender does not mean I should have to deny my truth, in order to make someone else feel comfortable. Being TGNC does not mean I should have to choose between Box F and Box M. If you get rid of the boxes, the whole wide sky opens up. Who you are does not have to conform to anyone’s idea of who you should be.
Being TGNC also means something different to someone who lives in Denver, than it does to someone who lives in upstate New York, and yet something different to someone who lives in Houston. Not to mention North Carolina. All these different lived experiences come together to make up what we know as a unique, individual human being. This concept is really key to learning to live together in harmony. I will share a few of the things it means to me. It means I have become constantly vigilant. I am intentionally and exceedingly aware of my surroundings at all times. It
That, my friend, is freedom. That is authenticity. That is the most powerful act of self-love any human being can own. Be yourself. If you are TGNC, or love someone who is TGNC, or just care about human dignity and justice; it means we fight for the day when everyone can experience the unrestricted freedom to live their gender authentically. What does it mean to be TGNC? Whatever we say it means.
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Hey Girl Hey!
Holler Poodles!! Life is full of embarrassing moments and if you can laugh at them, you’re one step ahead of the game. I’ve told this story many times over the years to many friends and to this day, it remains my most embarrassing, disgusting yet hilarious moment in my life. Picture it, Sicily, 19 aught 2. I was a very shy young boy who needed to have two back surgeries in order to correct a hump in my spine. Suffice it to say, the lack of privacy in a semi-private room at 16 years old was less than appealing. However, as the days passed, the level of of embarrassment seemed to increase. From the first indignity of having my pubic hair shaved to the last indignity, I don’t think a kid could be more embarrassed. After enduring two back surgeries 15 days apart and approaching the 28th day of my hospital stay, an old familiar feeling came to visit me. Because anesthesia shuts down the digestive tract, I had not gone to the bathroom for the last month. I was also laid out flat on my back unable to move. I was also sharing this room with a 16 yo boy from Iran with steel pins in his toes. I could only think this story would be fraught with tragedy. After putting it off as long as I could, I finally called the nurse and tried to whisper I would need a bedpan. As if whispering would make it less traumatic. The nurse comes happily along, pulls the curtain and places the bedpan under me and says “Well just call me when you’re finished.” I could only think of my poor roommate at this time because I knew I was getting ready to release the Cracken! Not 3 seconds after I started did I hear my Iranian friend yelling “OH MAN, THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! THE SMELL, THE SMELL, OHHH NOOOOOOOOO.” I felt about two inches tall. I thought how could this get any worse? Finally, I call the nurse back. Now keep in mind she was probably in her mid fifties and had been through everything and seen everything. When she walked in the room, I could hear her say “Oh Lord!” Again, I thought my humiliation was complete. But when she walked over to collect the bedpan, she pulled the bedpan from under me and said in her sweetest voice “Honey, are you trying to make soft serve ice cream?” because there were concentric circles of poop in the bedpan. I was DONE! My embarrassment was complete!! Being able now to look back at this and laugh at myself is certainly empowering. Love and lashes,
Mary Edith Pitts Mary Edith Pitts
PS. If you have any questions, comments or feedback, please email me at maryedith99@gmail.com or on twitter @maryedithpitts
Gay News At A Glance TRANSGENDER PATIENTS CAN’T BE DENIED MEDICAL TREATMENT UNDER OBAMACARE It is now against the law for US medical providers who receive federal funding to deny treatment to transgender people. The US Department of Health and Human Services announced a rule on Friday (13 May) that bans the denial of health insurance coverage or health care itself on the basis of gender identity and other factors. The rule comes under the Affordable Care Act – commonly known as Obamacare. It states that individuals are protected from discrimination in health care on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, disability and sex. This includes discrimination based on
pregnancy, gender identity and sex stereotyping. ‘A central goal of the Affordable Care Act is to help all Americans access quality, affordable health care,’ HHS Secretary Sylvia M. Burwell said in a statement. Burwell called the announcement ‘a key step toward realizing equity within our health care system.’ The National LGBTQ Task Force had conducted a study which found that 19% of those surveyed had been refused care due to their transgender or gender non-conforming status. The numbers are even higher numbers among people of color. ‘In essence, the new guidance clarifies that discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people is prohibited in health care settings, including clinics, hospitals, mental health facilities, and doctor’s offices,’ said the Task Force’s Meghan Maury. Other LGBTI activists applaud the rule and the timing of it. Several states in recent months have passed laws making it legal to
discriminate against LGBTI people including North Carolina which is not allowing trans people to use bathrooms matching their gender identity. ‘These protections are especially critical in the current moment, when states such as North Carolina, Mississippi, and Tennessee are enacting laws condoning or even encouraging discrimination against LGBT people and their families,’ said Neera Tanden, president and CEO of the Center for American Progress.
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XULHAZ MANNAD, EDITOR OF THE FIRST LGBT MAGAZINE IN BAGLADESH, FOUND HACKED AND BRUTALLY MURDERED
38: May 20, 2016
The murder of magazine editor Xulhaz Mannad shocked Bangladesh late April: Police have announced they may have found one of his killers. Mannad, 35, was found hacked to death and shot in Dhaka, Bangladesh in a series of attacks on Bangladesh’s intellectual and atheist community. He was the editor of Bangladesh’s first gay and lesbian magazine, Roopbaan. With Mahbub Tonoy, 25, who was also murdered, he organized the Rainbow Rally on Bengali New Year, 14 April. They both also worked for the government aid organization, USAID. The two were killed in brutal fashion by six men armed with machetes and guns. Police have now arrested suspected Islamic militant Shariful Islam Shihab, 37, believing him to be one of the assailants. ‘We’ve arrested one man in connection with the murder of Xulhaz Mannan,’ Dhaka police spokesman Maruf Hossain Sorder said in a press conference. Shibab is thought to be a member of Harkatul Jihad: a radical Islamist group banned in Bangladesh. An elderly Buddhist monk was found hacked to death on Saturday in a temple in Bandarban. Three men are currently being held in connection with the killing. Homosexuality is illegal in Bangladesh and is rarely acknowledged.
SALT LAKE CITY MAYOR INSTALLS HARVEY MILK BOULEVARD Salt Lake City now has a street honoring Harvey Milk, the first openly gay person to hold public office in California. On May 13, Mayor Jackie Biskupski put up the street sign changing part of 900 South to Harvey Milk Boulevard. ‘I am where I am because of people like Harvey,’ Biskupski said. Last December Biskupski was sworn in as mayor of Utah’s capital, with her new fiancée by her side. She is Salt Lake City’s first out LGBTI mayor. This past April, the city council unanimously approved the renaming of the downtown street. ‘American cities have a proud tradition of recognizing the achievement of diverse communities with honorary street names,’ the group said on its fundraising page. ‘Salt Lake City honors Martin Luther King Jr. (600 South), Rosa Parks (200 East) and Cesar Chavez (500 South). In May of 2016 LGBTQ advocate Harvey Milk will take his place among these civil rights icons.’
GAY PASTOR STABBED IN KS A gay pastor in Wichita, Kansas, was walking his dog when he says he was stabbed by a man with a high-pitched voice who asked him for a cigarette. He had just returned home from his church and and was walking the dog behind his apartment building in the dark when a man suddenly appeared out of the bushes. ‘(He) moved toward me and shoved a blade in my stomach and referred to me as a “stupid faggot pastor,”‘ Garcia said. The pastor said he fell to the
ground after he was stabbed and his attacker fled the scene. Garcia suffered a puncture wound in his stomach muscle but the damage is more psychological. He wants Christians and members of the gay community to be vigilant. ‘This has brought it to the forefront… that people truly want to harm the gay community,’ the pastor said. He added: ‘Whether they be gay or love everyone, we are a target just by loving other people no matter what. It’s a frightening place to be.’ Police in Wichita have not made any arrests in the attack. Garcia says his attacker is about 30 years old, 5-foot-10 and has a thin build and a beard.
KANSAS WILL BAN TRANSGENDER PEOPLE FROM UPDATING THEIR BIRTH CERTIFICATE Kansas is looking to ban transgender people from updating their birth certificates. Officials want to impose new regulations within six weeks that could force trans people to live with their original birth certificate, forever being forced to be reminded of being born in the ‘wrong’ body. Transgender advocates warn these regulatory changes will cause more transgender youth to attempt suicide because the state will be rejecting their identities and preventing them from having authentic lives. Republican Kansas senator Mary Pilcher-Cook said a birth certificate is ‘a record for future generations’ and shouldn’t be changed. She said the document should reflect the ‘science’ behind a person’s gender and not ‘political purposes’. ‘Men and women are biologically different,’ she said. This is the latest attack on trans people after North Carolina, and many other jurisdictions, passing bathroom laws forcing trans people to use public bathrooms that correspond to the sex on their birth certificate. The US Justice Department and North Carolina’s state governor sued each other this week.country.
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