FENUXE
8.1.2013
FEATURES 16 Vanity Gone Wicked 18 BDSM: You've Been Bad. Good. 21 Drinks & Vices:
The Hidden dangers of fun 41 Suit up to drink up
ESSENTIALS 53 54 56 58 60 68
Fenuxe After Dark Calendar & Parties Whoroscopes Hey Girl Hey OUT Photos Gay Atlanta Map Cover photo: Shayan Asadi
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8.1.2013
Editor’s
Note Coming from a Southern Baptist background, you don’t have to tell me that it’s easy to feel bad abut yourself. When you grow up hearing that you’re a sinner, a deviant, and ultimately going to end up in hell simply because you’re gay... it can start to hurt.
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Negative ideas like these weigh on your soul and can ignite a vicious cycle of self-hate combined with feelings of inadequacy. Unfortunately, these feelings get worse without adequate support. That’s why as gay, bi, or trans men and women, it’s so important for us to accept and love one another. Chances are we’ve all been mistreated, made fun of, or humiliated in the past. We may not all look alike, we may not all have the same amount of resources, but we’re all in this fight together. So, in anticipation of our drinks & vices issue, I’ve decided to change up a few things. First, I want to make a commitment to loving others even when they hurt me. I’ve decided not to get angry at those who try to tear me down, make fun of me, or stab me in the back. Chances are they are just hurting themselves. Perhaps, if someone shows them love, they might start showing that love to others. Second, I’ve decided to give up alcohol for a month. Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing wrong with alcohol at all. I’ve just been over-indulging lately (damn you fireball whiskey!) and want to lead a healthier life. Just remember that true acceptance starts from within. Yes, it’s wonderful if your family and/or friends accept you, but first, you have to accept yourself. In order to give love to others, you must first love yourself. You’re worth every ounce of it. Remember that. Embrace it. Then live it. I hope you enjoy this issue! Love you all!
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FENUXE.COM : 17
You've Been Bad. Good. Berlin Sylvestre, Contributor
This just in from The Journal of Sexual Medicine: The kinkier you are, the better your mental health may be. (No wonder you guys are so chill!) The sexual focus of the study was on BDSM, which is such an umbrella term that can stand for more sexual subsets than the four-letter acronym suggests. It showed that kink-masters are more extroverted and open to new experiences than the “vanilla” participants. They are also less neurotic, more conscientious, and less sensitive to rejection. This is especially interesting considering the fact that all forms of BDSM are listed as mental disorders (for real?). No matter. To devotees, BDSM is an electrifying world where power, humiliation, pain, and pleasure all converge. Let’s explore the grounds, shall we? (It’s for our health.) Bondage: Exactly as it sounds: binding someone. The use of ropes, cuffs, bondage tape, and other (often clever) restraints is implemented to take physical control of a lover. The restrained individual takes pleasure from the utter helplessness he’s experiencing and the gratification of giving absolute control to his lover. The one who binds can derive immense pleasure from taking physical advantage of the restrained, or simply relish the visual impact of seeing his lover in a vulnerable spot and knowing he could have him any way he wanted. It’s perhaps the ultimate trust game. Bondage can be for mere decorative purposes and the ropes used for binding can put nautical knots to shame in their complexity. Done well, it’s an art form. The darker side is torture bondage, where materials can be used as actual torture devices, rendering the “victim” helpless and in uncomfortable (even painful) positions for however long his lover chooses. (Or until the safeword is uttered, either slowing down the act or bringing it to a halt entirely. Again, it’s the trust game and it’s all mutual.) DOMINANCE: Some people can’t — and won’t — be told what to do. Rather, they’re the shot callers who demand submission in nearly all facets of their willful lovers’ lives — not just the bedroom. Doms are sometimes referred to as “tops,” which is a misnomer, as one can just as easily be a dominant bottom. The “bottom” line is that when a dom gives the orders, his lover had better do as told or face the (tantalizing and/or torturesome) consequences. DISCIPLINE: It’d be easy to interpret discipline as physical punishment, but getting smacked around isn’t entirely what it’s about. Discipline is more to do with total command and control. Perhaps he was washing your car as instructed, but intentionally used the wrong kind of soap. Now, he eagerly awaits the repercussions of not only dealing with an incredibly belittling lecture on his ineptitude, but must rewash the car using the correct chemicals … five times. Of course, discipline can lead to corporeal punishment, but just because he’s been naughty doesn’t mean he automatically gets the paddle. SADISM: Sadists are people who get off on inflicting pain. Mild sadism might include light spanking, whipping, demeaning name-calling, and other activities that others might consider unsavory. The toybox of a more severe
18 : August 1, 2013
might include shock devices, oversized and oddly-shaped sex toys, choke-chains, steel contraptions you’d find on a medical tray, and all sorts of what-have-you. Consider it a sexual schadenfreude where both parties win. MASOCHISM: Masochists enjoy being on the receiving end of physical (and sometimes emotional) pain. They revel in what others might consider torment or torture. Being placed in compromising situations where he feel debased sexually arouses him. Humiliate him, degrade him, make him feel like garbage and you’ve unlocked what it takes to satisfy his primal desire of feeling needed for your devious and sadistic schemes. It may seem odd, but those into it absolutely love the contrast of being punished for pleasure. Fascinating, no? The “m” in BDSM can also stand for master, meaning he governs every move of his enslaved lover, public and private, and often in a territorial and proprietary way. From treating his (willing) partner like a demeaned sexual object, literally collaring and leashing him like an animal, to fulfilling a rape fantasy, few things are out of bounds. (Remember: It’s all mutual.) The submissive member of this relationship goes to any length to prove he’s the property of his beloved, even donning chastity devices in his absence and possibly
“The only way
to get rid of a
temptation is to yield to it.”
- Oscar Wilde.
marking his body with tattoos that make his “taken” status public knowledge. The “s” can also stand for submission and slavery and, though similar, there is a distinct difference: A submissive (much like a masochist) likes to relinquish control; a slave never had control in the first place … and never will. If it sounds interesting to the newcomer, it’s recommended. The study results reveal that BDSM scenesters reported higher levels of well-being than those outside it, and heightened feelings of attachment in their relationships. (That could be literal.) So, where does one go in this city to hang with those in the BDSM know? The Heretic has an on-site shop full of goodies to get you started and some kink-meisters who might show you “the ropes.” As well, The Atlanta Eagle has a great shop and lots of hot leather clad men, so go on: Be a pain in the ass. Someone’s going to love (to punish) your enthusiasm, you naughty boy, you.
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r dito ital E randt g i D eb y, inne Hyld ne K Mikkel y a Dw ns by tio Cap
Vices. For some people it means having a cigare tte (or three) while drin others it means locking king. For yourself in the bathroom at a club and snorting blow. According to Equa a line of lity Counseling therap ist William Brown, “Eve vices, it is part of being ryone has human.”
Almost two pounds of pot was discovered in a 2,700 year-oldgrave in China
It’s true. Humans have nurtured a torrid love affair with their vices since the beginning. The earliest evidence of drug use dates back to 3400 B.C. when the Sumerians cultivated opium. They called the opium poppy Hul Gil, the “joy plant.” The Sumerians gave it to the Assyrians. They gave it to the Babylonians and it continued to spread to every corner of the globe. Eventually people figured out how to chemically process it and started producing heroin. And now major multi-national corporations like Abbott Laboratories and GlaxoSmithKline import legal opium from India and Turkey or grow it themselves in Australia so they can turn it into a tiny pill. Yet, it wasn’t just opium getting passed around back in the day either. In 2008 the Journal of Experimental Botany revealed the world’s oldest marijuana stash ever found. Almost two pounds of pot was discovered in a 2,700 year-old-grave in China. It was buried with an approximately 45 year old man along with other items archeologists believe he cherished and wanted to take into the afterlife.
FENUXE.COM : 21
ta ive and order and no s a t ic m d is d l a rly a e as al dis ying: hopaho sive Bu : oniomania, s hopping can b is an emotion d more popula adverse l u p m o C n s s ver, it nown a us as as very rder (a Also k g as innocuo g habit; howe e buying diso that often h aviour. h in iv u Someth tive as a dr n as compuls for shopping irrational be n w d c o io n u n s r dest se. K s an obses s in mood, a nd l disea e eling a s n u o c physica lic) it produc debt, change s both s include shopaho like enormou r e d r o ing dis effects ive buy s l u p m o c ent for Treatm sed therapy. drug-ba
ay ices m nd V “ ? l a ed. A ig de the b own clarifi mming s i t Br ha ste ices w ver time,” cal issues rovider of v s a o h di care p issues e me cutely ryone If eve e medical Meltz, th orse. “As a IV, I am a egan b . becom ing to Dr e getting w ed with H ’s when I ry to g 0 a r d n 8 r a d e 9 o l n s l c ac ha , ice eco te 1 our v th those c e in the la is now s prevalent m m o o r r f i f f e V k r I i o t w l a n H e n s ar ere ses at ,u eas s diff ’re just as 24 ye that today erapist, th al diagno n the dis a s e e th re Du able tha selv ently we as a Unlik awa t tion. f our nk o But, appar ey were. drugs my work e of addic more trea i h t d h o e s t e t . a abuse mad dise stors . easy ue becom es as rugs caine, d It is cient ance ur troubl nces have s contin r. the HIV has Meltz said n o m a n . o a, co omm our a to forget odern adv ial proble ur vices. D d and iction,” Dr ost c “Marijuan good old m c e o d e o s m r s d h e , n , t a ith ice eag ew ors, most clude ourse own, “I tion w ncest nd n and L to Br munity in and of c tially the ically g our a to find a y’s infatua ychology , explains, s n i G, log t l g com oten s cord easier our socie ctor of P de Medica those thin e Ac he LGBT Special K, ese are p or psycho l i t r o h g r e e y , f l D T y P n u l r i b a eth an to f r at ltz, inte ine. hysic as me stal m nselo at, y Me ately nicot and p re.” ide Sherr ional Cou w [a vice] that ultim uggests th y cry hol and g n i ag at Pr a) o ll alco s the ss m s n a e s t a e z f k n e t u d v o l o i u y r o i l e l s t y P s l r in is al Dr. M excep rn physical substance th (T ssion th ou ame profe terfere wi ss factor.” s to be n and sco the s rystal me is not, e v s i t e c e i s o c a e n i m n add that i ur happin unity see a, alienat ion l and t she ly. Ti m s tha at alcoho t frequent Its addict a o m g y i a h t t m s s i ” o . f . w y o os “th uce eltz rug gay c societ esult le or Dr. M l, finding, s I treat m eational d e can ind b a “The able as a r nts of our r e im ln r e edica a recr ologie men one t re vu vulne any elem s mo e that gay ype M e the path troduced, heroin -i y m t i r t n in f from eotyp mmu stereo f a a so often ike that o apable.” ay co niable ster d. This s l o sc g a s e i e n y i l r h cove ty and potentia ce that is her t an unde sex-crave s t i e d h r W is and ciety’s in Pa d enden here ] m so articipate t drugs an dep not, t ug-fueled o r f ge 24 p r ed ee rn on pa d e are d ostly bo men who f using str drug-fuel e u t g m o y ontin was ture of ga is the act e fact tha the avera r [C l u h e P t u o scrib part of subc NP). PN Despite ot de P . e tions Play ( ng in sex ed does n is a larg addic e i v m r g a o e a r r h f g c t en ex rs n, and s BT perso that suffe y . LG t e i s un bu comm ubstance a s d an
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commonmmunity. t s o m e f th the gay co o e n o used in tes are today’s Cigareattional drugs Despite gative ond read ne e c p e ing, r s s e c id e h e w t r rd smok moking is es towa ur skin know...? Did you study 7
22 : August 1, 2013
S yo attitud al shift hing for tur worst t exposure for this cul cent. As un re e after s aging. There is quit 80s re as the s y l prematu han 4,000 t n e c e r wa t g e smokin are mor obacco d and 90s t ing h in t e s l m chemica oy elastin an ered so id s n o c str e that de hat is vital that th t e g a l col n ing your skin’s ain to maint nd elasticity. a t g stren h kids did.
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If a vice is interfering with someone’s happiness factor why are they using it or doing it in the first place? Dr. Meltz stresses that the reason we turn to vices isn’t so cut and dry. “Substances are used to provide an escape mechanism from fear, trauma, alienation, and stigma. In the event my client has been told that he/she is unworthy and tainted, shutting down with drugs may be the only escape, and it is often deadly,” Dr. Meltz said. OK, but what’s the difference between a dangerous vice and wanting washing away a bad day at work with a few drinks? Brown explained, “Many people go out for a few drinks from time to time - some of us go out for more than a few drinks from time to time. Alcoholism implies physical and psychological dependence. There are some clear indications that you may have crossed into that territory. Do you ever blackout - meaning getting up the next day with no memory at all of some of the things that happened? Do you find you need increasing amounts of alcohol to feel as drunk? Do your nights usually go like this - I'm not gonna drink tonight; I'm gonna just have one or two; just one more; how many have I had?; good morning - who are you and how did I get here? Do the people closest to you say they are concerned about how much you drink? These are some of the indicators that what started as a fun night out has become a dependence that truly needs to be addressed.” It is pretty easy to see how drug use or alcohol abuse can seriously impact a person’s life and their happiness. However, Brown warns that, “Even overuse and attachment to social media apps like Grindr and Scruff have reached a level at times that can damage relationships and overall well-being.” And it’s not just gay
24 : August 1, 2013
dating apps that can lead to life impacting vices. “Sexual addiction in the gay community is an issue that I encounter with my clients so frequently, and ‘falling in lust’ is a short-cut to a relationship disaster. Yet, wanting love and someone to share life with is something we all pursue. How we do it can oftentimes lead to very negative consequences and feed the desire to ‘insulate, isolate or shut down.’ This is when those ‘vices’ rear their ugly heads,” Dr. Meltz added. So when does a vice turn into a need for medical attention? Both Brown and Dr. Meltz suggest that you look inward at how the vice is affecting you. Dr. Meltz oftens asks her patients, “Does your work suffer? Is your relationship in jeopardy as a result? Is your health suffering and do you realize that you don’t know when to stop.” Brown stresses that the key is to figure out how a person’s vices are affecting them and getting the person who needs help to recognize their need. “Perhaps engaging in a vice behavior has become more important than going to the grocery store or getting some exercise. If any of these are the case, it wouldn't hurt to check things out with a medical or mental health professional,” Brown said. Michael D. McAllister, another therapist at Equality Counseling, explained that indulging in vices is a balancing act, “All in all, it’s great to have fun, have sex, live life to the fullest and to be in the moment. But, we need to have
acts vaosus e in e f f a C ntral ner t, which a ce em stimulan s you syst orarily pick ou more temp nd makes y comes in up a t. Caffeine d sizes aler shapes an ee) to many liquid (coffs. People from and potion dictions, pills caffeine ad to other with e addictions n readily unlik s, will ofte l or drug a physica ce. admital dependen ment caffeinfeee. n o m m o Most ocmes from coofurces fix c r popular sude Othe affeine incl nd of c gy drinks a re ener -Cola (whertedly Cocaeine is repo . caff for taste) used
ources nt food asddiction a d n u b a ’s ver, food mon. ith today ereat. Wial groups. Moreecooming more com are v o o t d e s c d b o narcotic food) is ically co s es and s lso geneatffecting all ag relationship toilar to the waayke which include a e r a e e t w im m iv in s t e s l u s d b b e o s o s o s , r b f e e p o iv tr Some ly limiting ogical s food to l ecoming a lsive and order.in their We need is increasingly rbized by a compurelieves psychoplectrum is severe is d g eatin image obesity ition characte g temporarily r end of the s ns. out ing agn on body as comingy and p o l (a cond and overeatin in. At the othe edical conditio e v de focusin ts such king ga Binging nced in the bra both serious m k of er ris men hyperstress evenanxiety ma h ig h experie and anorexia a e y ? bulimia knoxuwa.l.. men hisavdeue manypoginat to measjtoerem or gcaduissorder. u o y Didy and biseelieve this elf. Otherslower selfin-g an eatin Ga tists b ideal s t can develop scien n of the llying tha ptible to notio eenage bu ore susce or t ual men m bisex [Continued on page 26]
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t alcohol is, by far, the mos nt xica into e abl socially accept l oho alc r, on Earth. Howeve consumption can lead to sing addiction (alcoholism) cau severe detriment to your hips, health, personal relations job, and social life.
Every year drunk drivers get behind the wheel approximately 112 million times. Only one percent of those (1.4 million) trips end with a DUI and a ride to jail.
Did you know...?
In 2007 the average alcohol consumption per capita dropped from 2.75 gallons annually to 2.31 gallons (2007 is the last time these statistics were available).
balance in our lives around these activities, and it is easy to be in denial when we are out of balance.” Unfortunately, when a person’s vices throw their life out of balance they may not admit it until it is too late. “With substance dependence, especially alcohol, withdrawal could become a life-threatening situation. The other medical aspect is that use of mind-altering substances impairs judgement and opens the door to risky sexual practices. Clearly, that can lead to some medical conditions that you don't want,” Brown warned. Abusing heroin or meth obviously warrants an immediate need for medical help.
“I think we have all seen the before and after pictures of people who are addicted to meth - and believe me, those pictures are accurate,” Brown said. However, some vices are perfectly legal to purchase and you can consume them right out in the open, like cigarettes. Are cigarettes and alcohol really such a big deal? “Some vices are more physically damaging to health than other by themselves. Alcohol and nicotine, while more socially acceptable, can also lead to chronic and fatal health conditions including cancers, organ failure, and heart disease. Body image issues that lead to binging, purging, or chemically enhanced physical appearance also can become life threatening situations very quickly - and lead to long term damage to many of the body's systems,” Brown cautions. Where should you turn if your vices have thrown your life out of balance? “There are many options for help - beginning with educating yourself by reading books and doing some research. Talking to your doctor can open the door. Asking around for a good counselor or therapist with some training and experience with your own issue can be a great gift to give yourself. If you are concerned about maybe being an alcoholic or having an addiction, look up a 12 step meeting - they are all over Atlanta at all hours of the day. Just because you go doesn't mean you have the addiction, but it can provide some clarity. The first step is to be honest with yourself and then be honest with someone who can help,” Brown said.
Not only do gays like sex, but rumour has it that we’re good at it. Yet, sometimes sexual urges, thoughts, or behavioural patterns get out of control and turn into sexual addictions. Some say that there is no such thing as sexual addiction, but recent scientific research suggests it should is be categorized with hypersexuality, erotomania, nymphomania, satyriasis and Don Juanism where sex labeled as a self-destructive force.
Gay Sex Myth
notion For some reason gay sex spawns fantastical sexual myths and misconceptions. For example, thenumerous despite continues myth The sex. for men straight chase and promiscuous are men gay all that surveys repeatedly showing that gay sex patterns are strikingly similar to heterosexual sex patters. Straight men cheat and have just as many one night stands as gays.
26 : August 1, 2013
Dr. Meltz sees treating vices as both a medical and behavioral issue. To address both she believes in a three-pronged approach. “Vices are most definitely a medical issue, but also a behavioral one. As a therapist I refer to the mind, body, and spirit as the triad of health. All three must be taken into consideration for the body to thrive. Because I so often work with dual diagnosis clients (struggling with medical issues and addiction), I am acutely aware of the potential for physical and psychological damage if all three elements [mind, body, and spirit] are not addressed. Bringing awareness of those things that do not contribute to good physical and mental health is the first step to recovery,” Dr. Meltz explained. One way of addressing the triad of health is through talk therapy with a licensed therapist. Both Pride Medical and Equality Counseling are excellent resources. “Talk therapy involves meeting with a professional counselor regularly to discuss deeply personal issues that are relevant in your life at that moment in an effort to change behavior or improve your life through personal insight and skills that the therapist will teach you. It is a unique and intimate relationship that is unlike most others in your life because your counselor listens to you like no one else usually will and is not your mother or your best friend, and thus doesn't have the biases that people who are close to you have. Your relationship with a counselor will be very close, but should lack bias and judgment [Continued on page 28]
Did you know...? Being part of the LGBT co statistically means you’re mmunity higher risk of exposure to se at a transmitted diseases, incxually syphilis, gonorrhea, and HIV. luding
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Even though na ics ar e not usually outrcinotth e op en like alcohol an ettes, drugs are a padrtcigofarth community whether we like gay not. Studies show that gae it or are more likel to use ill y men egal drugs than they he rosexual population. The mote used drug by the LGBTstcoab mm is marijuana, bu y meunity n and lesbian women altsogagr av ita toward stimulants like co te and crystal meth. Additi caine designer drugs like ecstasonally, y, ketamine and MDM A are still popular as a weeken d or party drug.
that other relationships are filled with. The therapeutic relationship also has the benefit of being completely confidential,” McAllister said. However, McAllister suggests greater intervention if warranted. “If a client is facing serious substance abuse issues, I might recommend either a hospital stay, a drug treatment program, or an intensive outpatient program combined with individual talk therapy sessions and 12-step support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Crystal Meth Anonymous (CMA),” McAllister said. But, treatment costs. And those costs can add up quickly. Luckily, there are organizations like the Health Initiative that can help. Linda Ellis, executive director at the Health Initiative, explained, “We can support people in accessing physical and mental health services through our Health Fund. Our community Health Fund allows us to cover up to $200 per year for physical or mental health services.” The Health Fund was started in 2008 to help uninsured and underinsured lesbians in Georgia. In 2011, the Health Fund was opened up to any LGBTQ person that is uninsured or underinsured. In addition to helping LGBTQ persons access healthcare, the Health Initiative is working tirelessly on tobacco cessation. “We don’t talk enough about the impact of tobacco on our community,” Ellis said. “We are working with the state on a tobacco cessation program that is specific to the LGBT community. The state has currently run out of money for such programs during this fiscal year. We’re hoping it gets picked back up and funded in the next fiscal year. We need ongoing tobacco cessation programs that are specific to the LGBT community. The tobacco companies are specifically targeting our community. They’ve been doing it for years. Tobacco companies are in the bars and at events offering samples or providing single cigarettes that can be easily picked up. They’ve even taken out ads in National LGBT magazines that equate your right to marry or love who you want with your right to smoke. What we’ve got to do is turn that around and claim health as a right for our community,” Ellis explained. The line between a vice that’s a bad habit and one that is destroying your life is incredibly murky. Are you using your vice to have fun or to escape and self-medicate? “If you are in that situation -- reach out and ask for help. Things truly can get better,” Brown advises. Michael McAllister, LPC and William Brown, MS are therapists in clinical practice at Equality Counseling Center who specialize in working with the LGBT community. If you would like to contact Michael McAllister visit his website at www.NOWtherapy.com or email him at mytherapist247@comcast.net. To contact William Brown visit his website at www.williambrowncounseling.com or email him at wbrown@ williambrowncounseling.com. Dr. Sherry Meltz, LPC the Professional Mental Health Counselor at Pride Medical. She specializes in treating depression, anxiety and issues related to addiction, as well as relationship and communication counseling. If you would like to contact Dr. Meltz visit www.pridemedical. com or call (404) 355-3788.
28 : August 1, 2013
Popping Pil
ls Prescription drug e not only abused by the gasy ar co mmunity, but are a problem thro America. Pills like Xanaughout (Alprazolam) for anxietyx and Vicodin (H rocodone and Acetaminophen)ydar e fo r pa are used to relieve stre in induce a pharma logical ss and high. The Controlled co bstances Act divides drugsSuint categories. Xanax is oa five Schedule IV an Vicodin Schedule III withd th number the greater echloanwer the ce for abuse. Did you kn
Substance ow...? abuse can treated. Hobwe treatments v ever, largely from ary tapering th dosage of teh drug to enro e in actual drulling rehabilitation g programs.
30 : August 1, 2013
FENUXE.COM : 31
Your financial needs are unique. With an Accredited Domestic Partnership designation, I can help. Wherever you are, whenever you need it, meetings are available by phone or online at a time and place convenient for you. We’ll look at all aspects of your finances, then find solutions that are right for your unique needs. And as your goals and needs change, we’ll be there to adjust your plan and help put your dreams within reach. Our Advisors. Your Dreams. MORE WITHIN REACH® Call us today for more information or to schedule an initial consultation at (877) 417-8940 or (901) 312-5099 Brian Douglas, CFP®, CRPC®, ADPA® Financial Advisor Douglas & Associates A financial advisory practice of Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. 465 South Main, Suite 101 Memphis, Tennessee 38103 901-312-5099 brian.k.douglas@ampf.com www.ameripriseadvisors.com/brian.k.douglas Win
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The initial consultation provides an overview of financial planning concepts. You will not receive written analysis and/or recommendations. As a client of Ameriprise Financial you may work with different financial advisors over time. Ameriprise Financial cannot guarantee future financial results. Brokerage, investment and financial advisory services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. © 2013 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved
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38 : August 1, 2013
40 : August 1, 2013
Model: DANIEL MCGRAW Styling & Makeup: MIKKEL HYLDEBRANDT Photography: SHAYAN ASADI Special thanks to Boy Next Door and ROC Republic of Couture
When you wear a suit or a dress jacket, you’ve probably given your outfit much more thought than you normally would. So, now that you look your best, why not choose your drink with the same careful consideration? We’ve assembled some current suit fashions and paired them with a corresponding drink that’ll complement your sharp, clean look.
Tallia Suit, $650 Calvin Klein Shirt, $70 Penguin Tie, $55
THE THREE-PIECE SUIT Pair this traditional, yet crisp and contemporary look, with a classic cocktail that features a bite of bourbon and the freshness of mint. We hear they are coming back... MINT JULEP • • • •
6 leaves fresh mint Crushed ice 1/4 cup(s) bourbon 1 1/2 teaspoon(s) Simple Syrup or corn syrup
Muddle syrup and mint, add bourbon and ice
FENUXE.COM : 41
Kenneth Cole Suit, $650 adidas SLVR Shirt, $126 Bar III Tie, $50
THE BLACK SUIT Every guy should own a plain black suit because it is the "little black dress" for men. Pair your dapper look with a Manhattan, which is equally as strong with no-frills.
MANHATTAN • • • •
2 parts whiskey part sweet vermouth dash bitters maraschino cherry
Shake with ice and strain into cocktail glass
42 : August 1, 2013
678-713-4255 info@klinkeimmigration.com
Love knows no borders, but the law does. At Klinke Immigration, we handle the ever-changing rules of LGBT immigration policy and can find a way for love to flourish in the melting pot.
FENUXE.COM : 43
Andrew Fezza Suit, $350 Calvin Klein Shirt, $65 Kenneth Cole Reaction Tie, $55
THE BLUE SUIT The color of corporate America! Not as formal as the black suit, but still up there on the savvy style scale. Pair your blue suit with a Dry Martini because you'll want to emphasize the traditional clean-cut style. MARTINI • 1 part gin • 1 part dry vermouth Shake with ice and pour into martini glass
44 : August 1, 2013
FENUXE.COM : 45
adidas SLVR Jacket, $396 adidas SLVR Shirt, $126 Howe Jeans, $156 DIBI Bowtie, $48 All items available at ROC Republic of Couture
THE SUIT-ISH If you still want the look of a suit, but want to be comfortable, pair your dress jacket with a complementary pair of jeans. You will look like you are (almost) wearing a suit, but will maintain an effortless trendy flair - especially when paired with a hipster bowtie. Your drink is a cool and contemporary Mojito! MOJITO • • • • • •
8 fresh mint leaves Cane sugar Fresh lime juice freshly grated lime peel 1 part golden rum 3 parts club soda
Crush mint and sugar, add ice, lime juice, lemon and rum
46 : August 1, 2013
FENUXE.COM : 47
7Diamonds Jacket, $420 7Diamonds Jeans, $145 7Diamonds Shirt, $97 All items available at Boy Next Door
THE DRESS JACKET Wearing a dress jacket with some jeans and a nice shirt (but no tie) will keep you dressy and comfortable. The perfect drink for you is a White Russian - delicious, stylish, and very relaxed.
WHITE RUSSIAN • 1 part Kahula , any coffee liquor will do • 1 1/2 part vodka, any vodka will do • 3 parts milk, use 2% milk Pour Kahlua, then vodka over ice, finish with milk
48 : August 1, 2013
FENUXE.COM : 49
adidas SLVR Jacket, $396 Bugatchi Uomo Shirt, $149
THE POPPING SHIRT Sometimes your dress jacket is out-staged by the shirt you wear under it. This is great way to update your look with another strong style statement. Plus, as the night progresses, you can check your jacket, roll up your sleeves, and dance the night away in your colorful shirt! Your drink is refreshing and fun like a Margarita or a Watermelon Mint Martini. MARGARITA • • • •
2 parts tequila 1 part cointreau 1 part lime juice Salt for garnish
Blend with plenty of ice until slushy, serve in salt-rimmed glasses
50 : August 1, 2013
Tallia Suit, $650 Bugatchi Uomo Shirt, $149
WATERMELON MINT MARTINI • • • • •
6 mint leaves 1 Tsp. simple syrup (see directions below) 1 Tsp. fresh lemon juice 1/2 cup watermelon cubes 2 parts vodka
muddle mint and watermelon with syrup and lemon juice in shaker, add vodka and ice, shake and strain into martini glass
FENUXE.COM : 51
FENUXE after dark
YOUR GUIDE TO GAY ATLANTA
OUTPHOTOS
JOINING HEARTS 07.20.2013 • Piedmont Park
The drinks were refreshing, the food tasty, and the men were absolutely delicious. Atlanta’s favorite pool party was, once again, a smashing success this year.
Sponsored by:
SERENA CHA CHA
BIEBER FEVER
MISTER APP ATLANTA LAUNCH
DRAG SUPERSTAR TAKES OVER BURKHART’S PUB
BELIEBERS FLOCK TO PHILIPS ARENA
ONLINE DATING HITS THE HERETIC WITH CHARLIE HARDING FENUXE.COM : 53
FENUXE
after dark
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
8.0 1 .1 3 TO
8.14.13
EMAIL US EVENTS AT
CULTURALPICKS
Calendar@fenuxe.com
08.13.2013 AGLCC’S BUSINESS BUILDER LUNCHEON SOUTHERN ART
Join the Atlanta Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce at Southern Art in Buckhead for their monthly Business Builder Luncheon. Enjoy a delicious lunch from Southern Art and build up your business at the same time! For $25 participants will get an appetizer, entree, and a beverage. RSVP to Emma Foulkes at ef.aglcc@gmail.com
08.13.2013
FRAMPTON’S GUITAR CIRCUS DELTA CLASSIC CHASTAIN PARK AMPHITHEATER
Grammy award-winning musician Peter Frampton is joining slide blues guitarist Sonny Landreth, B.B. King, and Larry Carlton for a concert stop in Atlanta.The English rock legend is celebrating the 35th anniversary of Frampton Comes Alive!, his multi-platinum live album.
NOW THRU 09.29.13 GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING: DUTCH PAINTINGS FROM THE MAURITSHUIS HIGH MUSEUM OF ART
The always inspiring High Muesum of Art invites you to to experience some of the incredible pieces of art created by artists such as Vermeer and Rembrandt. Find out more at www.high.org 07.12.2013-08.25.2013 EVERY TONGUE CONFESS HORIZON THEATRE
“Every Tongue Confess,” Horizon Theatre’s summer whodunit, takes us to Alabama in 1996 where gossiping churchgoers are heating things up with rumors and intrigue. With fantastic gospel and blues music the show tells a timeless story of loss and redemption.
COMMUNITYPICKS 08.9.2013 PAPARAZZI 10TH & PIEDMONT
Paparazzi was nominated for “Best Place to Meet Men” in the FENUXE Best of Atlanta for a reason - this is one party not to be missed. With DJ Merr1n spinning and no cover you’re in for a great time that won’t break the bank. Complimentary valet is available and you can also reserve one of the three Celebration Lounges if you have a group of six or more.
03.01.2013 08.10.2013 UNCENSORED WITH JUSTIN BIEBER DESTINY BROOKS PHILIPS ARENA LEBUZZ 11 P.M.
Are you a “Belieber”? Now is the
There’s new TV your variety series in to town timea to show dedication and LeBuzz is fi lming it all. “Less Drag, one of the world’s most talented Moresuperstars. Variety” is Come a promise. you spy the singIfyour ad making its way around Facebook, you’ll heart out to your favorite Bieber knowsong, you’re in for something risque old or new, before or afterand neverhis seen before. voice changed, pre or post
Selena Gomez. 54 : August 1, 2013
08.2.2013 MISTER APP ATLANTA LAUNCH THE HERETIC
MISTER App is hoping to revolutionize online dating for gay men with their updated app. Their goal is to make online dating more truthful and save men time when browsing. To celebrate their update launch in Atlanta they’re partying at The Heretic with DJ Chris Griswold, go-go boys, and lots of free giveaways. 08.01.13 SERENA CHA CHA BURKHART’S PUB
It’s another fabulous drag show at Atlanta’s favorite house of drag, but with a special guest. Come and be entertained by Serena Cha Cha, drag superstar and RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant, all while enjoying your favorite cocktail, mixed up by the Burkhart’s bartenders.
HoroSCoPES : 8/1 - 8/15
by Naja Elieva, Your friendly, neighborhood Fortune Teller, fabulously costumed
LEO [JUl. 23 – aUG. 22] Squish those feetsies into the most rollicking fab footwear you can find for a date on the 11th. Be sure to keep your nose clean, and don’t drag your tail as you strut your stuff!
virgo [aUG. 23 – SEpT. 22] Surprising times for the even-tempered--let go of your right to know on the 7th, does it really MAtteR? Get your nose out of that book, get up and Go!
libra [SEpT. 23 – OCT. 22] though your trophy pile is high and mighty, reach out for some lowlying fruit, seemingly at your feet. Sometimes you must go down to rise again, oh Phoenix!
scorpio [OCT. 23 – NOV. 22] You may look, but do not touch that which does not belong to you, especially when there is another involved. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. open your eyes on the 2nd and be astounded.
SAGITTARIUS [NOV. 23 – dEC. 21] Don’t spin your wheels, sweet one, stay on track until the 14th, and remember--as you will it, so it shall be. Relinquish the reins, and enjoy the ride, especially the bumps (and grinds). Get your Naja on, Girlfriend! Call us today at 404.424.9196 and have Naja Elieva entertain at your next event! or email us at Naja.Elieva@gmail.com. Remember: “What you don’t know can’t help you.” www.NajaElieva.com © All Rights Reserved
56 : August 1, 2013
FENUXE
after dark
Capricorn [dEC. 22 – JaN. 19]
You are stylin’! All comes to you with ease from the 8th-10th. Be gracious. Nobody likes a bossy braggart. Doors are opening for you left and right, don’t get slammed.
AQUARIUS [JaN. 20 – FEB. 18] A moment of choice arises on the 14th. err on the side of graciousness. Sit on the injustice, stew, if you like, but save the paybacks for later, sweetheart--you’ll be glad you did.
PISCES [FEB. 19 – MaR. 20]
of gentleness, romantic evenings, and lounging poolside. this is your moment to shine, to bask in the lime- er, moonlight. From the 6th to the 14th, caveat emptor, Baby!
ARIES
[MaR. 21 – apR. 19] Use the fact that you will not be swayed, to sway the one who will. Remember-it is not a trick if you smilingly confide in your object of desire what, exactly, you are doing. Look out for backstabbers on the 2nd.
Taurus [apR. 20 – May 20] Go with the flow, particularly on the 5th. You will discover new things, and new ways of doing things (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). this is Good, even though it seems very strange for you to feel this way.
GemIni [May 21 – JUN. 22] the 13th is the time to SLoW DoWN--particularly because you will have filled your dance card many times over beforehand. Trust me, sweets, dancing with the same partner repeatedly is not an indication of failure!
CANCER [JUN. 21 – JUl. 22] Whatever you do, all will turn towards you. Be sure to part your hair on the side, slicked back on the 3rd, to better showcase that winsome, sultry, come-hither glance for which you are so famous.
yoga 路 pilates 路 TRX
FENUXE.COM : 57
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Holler Poodles!! I’m so excited to tell you about a comprehensive program I’ve been invited to participate in. For a couple of years now, I’ve put it “out to the universe” that I wanted to work with a personal trainer and nutritionist so that I could learn how to work out properly and eat healthy. Because of my back surgeries, I was always hesitant to use weights or try complex moves without the assistance of a trained professional. I also knew my eating habits were not the best but I felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of conflicting information on how to lose weight. The result for me was inaction (sitting on my ass). For anyone who doesn’t know, weight is a complicated issue. You’ve probably heard the saying “It’s not what you’re eating but what’s eating you.” I completely agree. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say I had a f@#%ed up childhood and was pretty much stuck. I used food to not only medicate myself but to push people away. Because I didn’t know how to deal with attraction from others, it was easier to put on weight so I wouldn’t be attractive. I knew I was stuck and knew I wanted to do something about it and was so thankful when I was approached to participate in a comprehensive wellness program that involves nutrition, therapy, and personal training. At the initial meeting, I met an angel named Kayt Wolfe who has literally changed my life. I felt an instant connection to her and her commitment to a “whole health” approach to living. This wasn’t a quick fix temporary kind of thing. It is for a lifetime! Through her extensive nutritional guidance and exercise program, I feel equipped to take on my weight and exercise challenges. That’s not to say the road ahead will be easy. There have been some really dark days already. Days when I just wanted to give up because the emotional pain was too much, too raw and seemingly insurmountable. Thankfully, Kayt told me something very profound at a really low point. “You don’t have to understand it in order to change it!” For me, it meant I don’t have to understand the reasons behind the pain and why I was hurt for me to 58 : August 1, 2013
still get up and exercise and eat better. While I will always seek answers, not having those answers allowed me to stay stuck. I now understand if I’m hurting emotionally, I still have to work out and eat right. I’m truly amazed at how simple Kayt’e approach to nutrition has been. When you have a meal, eat the best you can. Meaning whole food (not processed), organic if you can afford it and stay away from sugar & alcohol. For more information on Kayt, please check out her website at pulsebykaytwolfe. com. You’ll be glad you did! In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more of my story including another crucial component to this process, therapy. I look forward to sharing my journey with all of you. Love and lashes, MEP
If you have any questions, comments or feedback, please contact me at maryedith99@gmail.com
Building strong futures. One loan at a time. More than 140 years of strength and stability mean a lot when you’re choosing a trusted source for financial support. That’s why so many families in our community look to BB&T for their personal loans. Whether you’re looking to make a major purchase, improve your home, pay for college, or consolidate your debt, a local BB&T lender is here to help, sharing knowledge so you can move forward with confidence. BBT.com /Lending
Steven D. Shipp Vice President 404.442.5291 sshipp@bbandt.com
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BB&T, Member FDIC. Only deposit products are FDIC insured. Loans subject to credit approval. Equal Housing Lender. © 2013, Branch Banking and Trust Company. All rights reserved.
FENUXE OUTPHOTOS
after dark
THURSDAY FUN 07.18.2013 • Burkhart’s Pub
These Atlantans were looking for a fun night out and Burkhart’s Pub always delivers!
Sponsored by:
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60 : August 1, 2013
theGAGE Law Firm
Atlanta’s LGBT Lawyer
DUI Drug Possession Felonies Misdemeanors
678 954 5730
160 Clairemont Ave., Suite 200 Decatur, Georgia 30030 S. Derek Gage Attorney at Law
www.thegagefirm.com
FENUXE.COM : 61
FENUXE OUTPHOTOS
after dark
HRC COCKTAILS 07.12.2013 • TEN
On the second Thursday of each month HRC Atlanta gets together for Take A Second For Equality. This month they celebrated the DOMA and Prop 8 rulings with a few cocktails at TEN Atlanta.
Sponsored by:
Currently Hiring Fenuxe Magazine iscurrently seeking
Sales Representatives • Base Salary • Competitive Commission PLUS Benefits
Please submit resumes to jeff@fenuxe.com
62 : August 1, 2013
Ansley Eye Care
404.888.9444 | www.ansleyeyecare.com
r of ne
best Eye wear Pr
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Ansley Mall 1544 Piedmont Ave NE #320 Atlanta, GA 30324 M-Th: 10am-7pm F: Sa 10am-5pm
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FENUXE.COM : 63
FENUXE OUTPHOTOS
after dark
BASTILLE DAY 07.13.2013 • Mary’s
Mary’s in East Atlanta celebrated all things French with their annual Bastille Day Blow-Out! From the Can-Can to French kissing this party had it all.
Sponsored by: Fenuxe.MentalHealth_HalfPage_03_Layout 1 5/29/13 5:13 PM Page 1
MENTAL Health Checkups Sherry A. Meltz, PsyD Licensed Professional Counselor n
Depression, anxiety and issues related to addiction
n
24 years proudly serving the gay community
n
Working with HIV+ and their caregivers since 1996
Primary care & HIV physician services Full-service retail pharmacy open to the public Proudly serving the LGBTQ community for 18 years
Pride Medical, Inc.
@PrideMedical
Pride Medical provides state-of-the-art comprehensive quality medical care in a multidisciplinary environment. Also: FREE ANONYMOUS HIV TESTING, On-site Infusion therapy.
2012
3 Best Pharmacy q 3 Best Primary Care q
404.355.3788 | 3280 Howell Mill Road | Suite 326 | Atlanta | www.PrideMedical.com 64 : August 1, 2013
Renovations & Handyman Services
404-583-2212 www.builderbob.com
Kitchen and Bathroom Specialist General Home Repairs Ceramic Tile & Stone Painting & Trim Work
Jeffery Johnston jeff@builderbob.com
Weekly Specials
Tues. Wed.
Trivia Night - 8 pm $ 3 MB House Margaritas $ 1 Taco Night!
Your choice of Braised Angus Beef Brisket, Crispy Tilapia, Potato & Queso, Roasted Pork, Grilled Chicken and Sauteed Vegetables
Tues - Fri 5:30 pm - 2:30 am Sat 1 pm - 2:30 am | Sun 1 pm - 12 am 1044 Greenwood Ave. NE, Atlanta, GA. 30306
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FENUXE.COM : 65 pozole fenuxe ad qrtr.indd 1
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FENUXE OUTPHOTOS
after dark
CALISTOS BIRTHDAY 07.13.2013 • Blakes
Calisto Harvailas celebrated in style with a special Birthday Bash at Blake’s on the Park. This party had it all with hot go-go dancers, and a guest DJ.
Sponsored by:
66 : August 1, 2013
FENUXE.COM : 67
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yOUR GUIdE TO Gay aTlaNTa 17. BURkHaRT’S pUB – $ 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE 30324 18. 10TH & pIEdMONT – $$ 991 Piedmont Ave. NE 30309
Eats MIdTOWN 1. TWO URBaN lICkS – $$$ 820 Ralph McGill Blvd. NE 30306 2. EINSTEIN’S – $$ 1077 Juniper St. NE 30309 3. lOCa lUNa – $$ 550-C Amsterdam Ave.. NE 30306 4. CaMpaGNOlO – $$ 980 Piedmont Ave. NE 30309 5. ESCORpION – $$ 800 Peachtree St. NE 30308 6. ONE MIdTOWN kITCHEN – $$ 559 Dutch Valley Rd. NE 30324 7. METROFRESH – $ 931 Monroe Dr. NE 30308 8. JOE’S ON JUNIpER – $ 1049 Juniper St. 30309 9. ZOCalO – $ 187 10th St. NE 30309 10. GIlBERT’S – $$ 219 10th St. NE 30309 11. apRÈS dIEM – $$ 931 Monroe Dr. NE 30308 12. HOBNOB – $ 1551 Piedmont Ave. NE 30324 13. THE NOOk – $ 1144 Piedmont Ave. NE 30309 14. THE FIFTH IVORy – $$ 794 Juniper St. 30308 15. EaTS – $ 600 Ponce de Leon Ave. NE 30308 16. F.R.O.G.S. CaNTINa – $ 931 Monroe Cir. NE 30308
EaST aTlaNTa 19. THE EaRl – $ 488 Flat Shoals Ave. SE 30316 20. THE GlENWOOd – $ 1263 Glenwood Ave. SE 30316 21. THE GRaVEyaRd – $ 1245 Glenwood Ave. SE 30316 CaBBaGETOWN 22. aGaVE (Not Shown On Map) – $$ 242 Boulevard SE 30312 23. SERpaS (Not Shown On Map) – $$$ 659 Auburn Ave. NE 30312 CHESHIRE BRIdGE 24. laS MaRGaRITaS – $ 1842 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 30324 25. ROXX – $ Cheshire Bridge Rd. 30324 26. COWTIppERS – $$ 1600 Piedmont Rd. 30324 27. GINO’S pIZZa – $ 1740 Cheshire Bridge Rd. NE
places ClUBS/BaRS 1. aMSTERdaM – 502-A Amsterdam Ave. NE 30306 2. aTlaNTa EaGlE – 306 Ponce de Leon Ave. 30308 3. HERETIC – 2069 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 30324
MaRTa STaTIONS
EaST aTlaNTa
4. JUNGlE – 2115 Faulkner Rd. NE 30324 5. MIXX – 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE 30309 6. BlakE’S – 227 10th St. NE 30309 7. 10TH & pIEdMONT – 991 Piedmont Ave. NE 30309 8. TEN aTlaNTa - 990 Piedmont Ave. NE 30309 9. BURkHaRT’S – 1492 Piedmont Ave. NE 30324 10. GIlBERT’S – 219 10th St. NE 30309 11. MaRy’S – 1287 Glenwood Ave. SE 30316 12. My SISTER’S ROOM – 1271 Glenwood Ave. SE 30316 13. OSCaR’S – 1510 Piedmont Ave. NE 30309 14. SISTER lOUISa’S CHURCH – 466 Edgewood Ave. SE 30312 15. FElIX’S ON THE SQUaRE – 1510 PiedmontAve. NE 30324 16. COCkpIT – 465 Boulevard SE 30312 17. WOOF’S – 2425 Piedmont Rd. NE 30324 18. BUlldOG’S – 893 Peachtree St. NE 30309 19. lEBUZZ – 585 Franklin Rd. SE 30067 20. MOdEl-T – 699 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE 30308 21. FRIENdS ON pONCE – 736 Ponce De Leon Ave. NE 30306 22. THE HIdEaWay – 1544 Piedmont Ave. NE 30324 23. OpUS 1 – 1086 Alco St. NE 30324 24. TRaXX aTlaNTa – 708 Spring St. 30308 STRIp ClUBS 25. SWINGING RICHaRd’S – (All Nude) 1400 Northside Dr. NW 30318 26. BlISS – (All Nude) 2284 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 30324 27. BJ ROOSTER’S – Private dances encouraged. 2043 Cheshire Bridge Rd. 30324 pRIVaTE MalE ClUBS & SpaaaHS… 28. FlEX – 76 4th St. NW 30308 29. MaNIFEST 4 U– 2103 Faulkner Rd. NE 30324 30. THE dEN – 2135 Liddell Dr. 30324 31. EROS – 2219 Faulkner Rd. NE 30324
CaBBaGETOWN Old 4TH WaRd 14 EdGEWOOd aVE.
19 MO RE
21 12 11
la Nd E aV
20
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GlENWOOd aVE.
16 B O U l E Va R d S E C a R R O l l ST S E
GRaNT paRk
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