Find Knox 2021 - November Edition

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www.findknox.com.au

November 2021 | FIND KNOX

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Don’t leave it too late – tell their stories now! ACCREDITED EDITOR By Susan Pierotti

Here’s an alarming statistic: dementia is the second leading cause of death in Australia – and the leading cause of death for women. Dementia can tragically affect people as young as forty but most dementia sufferers are older. If you know or are related to an older person, do you know if – or when – they will get dementia? No, no one knows. So it is vital to begin the process of telling their stories now. Family stories are so important. They leave a legacy, they unite family members, they contribute to the cohesion and history of the community and add value to the teller’s identity. It’s an awful thing to have those stories lost because someone in your family is losing their memory or their health. Everyone has an interesting story When asked to tell their life story, most people say, ‘Oh, my life isn’t very interesting’. However, what might seem normal to them, such as minor details about their childhood in a bygone era, is fascinating for those who never lived through it. Being able to draw from them stories of a world that many of us have never experienced makes every older person's story fascinating. There is a genuine breakthrough moment when older folk realise their stories are interesting. They sit up straighter, their eyes shine and it can be hard to get then to stop talking! Unlike other cultures, our Western values system doesn’t include ceremonies for honouring our elders. When our older loved ones realise that someone actually wants to listen to them and record their lives, their knowledge and wisdom, it makes them feel really valuable- a wonderful gift to a person in their twilight years. Stories heal family wounds It's amazing what writing someone's story can do for that person's family. All families have secrets. For instance, what happened to that cousin? Why did our uncle go overseas and never return? Family members are told snippets that are coloured by another teller’s point of view. Misunderstandings between family members occur. Rifts appear and solidify.

Sometimes these stories are painful to relate but sometimes telling them can heal and restore, not just for the family members but for the elderly loved one who may have been carrying a burden of guilt and grief for so many decades. How to begin One easy way to get people to open up is by showing them a photo. Our visual sense is strong and a simple image can unlock a wealth of stories about distant events. Telling the story can make people emotional, but that’s okay. It’s another opportunity to connect. Showing a photo even works for people with dementia. My father has Alzheimer’s. One day, I showed him pictures of the area where he grew up. To my surprise, he began talking about the few Aboriginal children in his school. Unlike the other children, he was kind to them and so he was the only one in the class who was invited to visit them in their settlement. I now learned a story about my father that I had never known. Whenever I show him a photo of a place he knows, his longterm memory is triggered and seems to work fine. Another person I know takes his father out to lunch once a month when there are no Covid lockdowns). He records their conversation on his phone. At home, he is able to transcribe it so that his children can read it. Not only does he get

to hear his father’s story but these two men spend precious time together, a rare event in our society. Recording your relatives’ story is easier than it has ever been. There are so many devices to use. Stories over the years have been preserved on cassette tape, CDs and phones. Keep in mind, though, that technology changes, and changes rapidly. There are young people nowadays who don’t even own a CD player because they download everything. Here’s a tip: print never dies! Type or write it down. Creative Text Solutions is a member of Life Stories Australia that assists people to tell their stories. Contact us today at susan@ creativetext.com.au to help you record your elderly loved ones’ stories.

Susan Pierotti Accredited Editor Creative Text Solutions 0437 127 159 www.creativetext.com.au

November 2021 | FIND KNOX

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