GUY MAGAZINE #158 by Multi-Media Platforms

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14 Guys Night Out 28 CellBlock 13 34 Guy Dining 36 Adam & Ease 42 Guy Travel 44 Guy Tunes 46 Guy Fitness 50 Snapshot 52 The Scene 56 Spotlight

Models: Anthony R Austin W omero and ilde Photo b y: Timot eo Ocam po

Bobby Blair Publisher Kevin Hopper Associate Publisher Cliff Dunn Editor Jason Otero Creative Director Contributors Duncan St. Thibault, Tom Bonanti, Andy Kress, Adam Strong, Robert Elias Deaton, Richard David Chamberlain, Justin Jones, Grant James Editorial Photographers Dennis Dean, Stephen Kuttner, Ginger Milligan Art Department Niki Lopez Graphic Designer Sales Display Advertising sales@guymag.net - 954-380-8563 x2101 Keith Chamlee, Rose Ann Casale National Sales Rivendell Media National Ad Representatives 212-242-6863 Display Deadlines Ad Production Request: Wednesday, Noon Camera-Ready Ads: Friday, Noon Classifieds Deadlines Text Ad Placement: Thursday, Noon Classified Display Ad Production/Placement Request: Thursday, Noon Camera-Ready Classified Display Ad: Friday, Noon Media Board of Advisors Alan Beck, Keith Blackburn, Robert Boo, Reece Darham, Terry DeCarlo, Richard Hack, Kevin Hopper, Paul Hugo, Peter Jackson, Krishan Manners, Mark Negrete, Jackson Padgett, Gary Santis, Jason Tamanini, Brett Tannenbaum, Dean Trantalis, Victor Zepka Main Office 2435 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone 954-380-8563 Fax 954-380-8567 editor@guymag.net

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Opinions expressed by advertisers, columnists, feature writers or other contributors are not necessarily the opinions of Multimedia Platforms, LLC or its staff. All advertisements, pictures, text and illustrations are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized and have secured proper written consent for use thereof. Multimedia Platforms, LLC shall not be held responsible for any errors, loss or expense or liabilities on advertisements accepted after the weekly deadline. Publication of the name, photograph of any person, or advertisement contained in this issue is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person, advertiser, or organization. Partial or complete reproduction of any advertisement, news article, feature, or photograph from Multimedia Platforms is strictly prohibited. Multimedia Platforms, LLC is a registered trademark. A $30 or 1.5% (whichever is greater) fee will be charged for all NSF checks. © 2012, Multimedia Platforms LLC. All rights reserved.

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Spirit! IN THE

December 6th, 7th & 8th, 2012 8 pm

The Fort Lauderdale Museum of Art Auditorium The Original Fort Lauderdale Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chorus announces their 27th season under the founding Director of the organization, Dr. Gary Keating! The concert will provide the high entertainment value you have come to know & love from this great chorus and will be complete with holiday standards & favorites as well as a few surprises you have come to expect from the FTLGMC!

Tickets: $25 General Admission & $40 VIP For more information visit www.theftlgmc.org or call 954.832.0060

Funding for this organization is provided in part by the Broward County Commissioners as recommended by the Broward Cultural guymag.net | Council.

Smart Ride 2012 â&#x20AC;˘ November 15-16 Photos by Dennis Dean

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Taste of the Island

guys night OUT

PHOTOS BY MICHAEL MURPHY

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Celebrating Gender-Bending @ Drag It Out!

guys night OUT

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Good times and good vibes @ Village Pub

guys night OUT

PHOTOS BY GINGER MILLIGAN

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Mattyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is where the boys are!

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PHOTOS BY GINGER MILLIGAN

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Out and About on Wilton Drive

guys night OUT

Bartenders at THE VILLAGE PUB

Joel, Erick, Corey and Brandon at THE VILLAGE PUB

Sidekicks at SIDELINES

Richard, Ryan and Evan at THE VILLAGE PUB

Rodney at THE VILAGE PUB

Mega-cutie, John, at THE OUTLET on the drive Nick and Ken at SIDELINES

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Guilty Pleasures

HOT MAN WALKING!

Enter the Cell-Block By WILLIAM COOKE ade from spandex mesh and nylon fabrics in sinisterly dark shades of navy, black and red, CellBlock 13 ushers men beyond the bedroom and into the adult playroom. “CellBlock 13 is for the guy who isn’t afraid to show off how he looks and feels, or what he’s into,” says Timoteo Ocampo, Creative Director and CoOwner of Timoteo, the company behind the new line. Before launching his own label, Ocampo worked as a designer for XOXO and Baby Phat, a brand he helped launch with entertainment mogul Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee. “There was a void in the fetish market for designs that fit properly and were made using the latest fabrications.”

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he collection consists of a full range of underwear, jockstraps, graphic tees, compression shorts and wrestling singlets. “We believe the line will extend beyond fetish and into other communities. CellBlock 13 has an attitude skaters will wear and it’s tough enough for ultimate fighters. Basically, CellBlock 13 is for anyone with an edge.”

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he Timoteo brand launched ten years ago as a small storefront in West Hollywood that manufactured select fashion pieces for men. It has since evolved into a fun and hip brand that produces a full line of product. “This season’s collection is about adding fashion to fitness wear with high quality fabrics that breathe, colors that are of the moment, and fits that accentuate a well-toned body,” explains Ocampo. “My job is to provide guys with gear that looks and feels good,” he adds. “Clothes that enable them to play hard in this game we call life.” Visit www.cellblock13.net.

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Guy Dining By RICHARD DAVID CHAMBERLAIN

Pinché Taqueria New Tastes and a Great New Chef

2045 WILTON DRIVE WILTON MANORS, FL 954-990-6282

t wasn’t all that long ago that we were served with sprouts, siracha aioli and wasabi heralding the opening of the newest Mexican guacamole. This will become your new favorite. restaurant in town, a joint called Pinché Or maybe not—particularly if you try the Crunchy Taqueria on Wilton Drive. Pinché had expanded Shrimp Tacos ($3.75). We’re not certain how to from its home base of Manhattan say “yummy” in Spanish, but feel where the eatery has two branches, free to insert it right here in the and brought authentic South of the sentence. We had ours “Steel Gym” Border to South Florida. style, which substituted a butter In hindsight, however, it seems lettuce leaf for the taco shell, and cut that Wilton Manors and much of calories but not flavor. Fort Lauderdale wasn’t quite ready The quesadillas have been Chicken Tortilla for how authentic the Mexican food improved as well. The tortillas Soup actually was. Apparently, we like our are freshly made in the morning Mex with a little Tex added in, and and grilled per order. The Chicken it wasn’t happening on the previous Quesadillas ($9) combine amazingly menu. Not one to fail to respond to smooth Chihuahua cheese with the moment, co-owner Stephanie pulled chicken, grilled peppers and Lee aligned herself with Reece onions, and chipotle sour cream, in a Darham and the folks at Steel Gym half-inch thick portion of temptation Ahi Tuna Tacos to transform the food assortment, on a plate. The Brisket Rancheros freshen the ingredients, and bring in Enchilada ($12) is large enough to Ron Kerr, the former executive chef share with three, but you’ll probably of Georgie’s Alibi to do magic. And be tempted to consume it all yourself. magic he did. Likewise the sizzling show-stopping The new menu is colorful both Steak Fajitas ($14), which comes in its look and in its assortment of with side bowls of lettuce, freshly flavors, beginning right with the made salsa, more of that delicious appetizers. One spoonful of the Chihuahua cheese, and sour cream. Crunchy Shrimp Tacos reworked Chicken Tortilla Soup Wrap this one in butter lettuce as ($4) will drive home the point. It’s a well, and save some calories while delicate blend of broth and spices getting the wallop of a full meal. Steak Fajitas that is complimented with chunks The moral here is that Pinché of chicken, diced tomato, and fresh Taqueria listened to its customers, and avocado, topped with the customary revised and revitalized its presence on tortilla strips. Combine it with the the Drive. The ingredients are as fresh Chipotle Chicken Tostada ($7) and as the guacamole, and the blends of you’ll find your taste buds dancing a flavors are absolutely unique. That’s a fandango. There’s more than enough big two thumbs up for the effort of all to share as the tostada stacks roasted chicken, involved. Now is the time to check out the change cheese, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, cilantro and before the tourists catch wind of the delicious sour cream in a tower of taste supreme. aroma wafting down the block, and pack the place. And do not pass by the Tuna Tacos ($12). This And, as always, remember to say Guy Magazine item may call itself an appetizer, but it’s an entrée- sent you. Olé. sized portion with multiple crisp mini-tacos and a healthy helping of chopped sushi-grade tuna,

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Adam & Ease By ADAM STRONG

Southern Cuisine: Cooking on a Hot Tin Roof

do declare (pronounced “dee-clay-uh”), I do love me some Southern cooking. The original “guerilla” cooking, Southern style cuisine uses a lot of the wholesome and yummy things you already have lying around your kitchen—or would, if you were Paula Deen, or lived on a Loozee-anna plantation, circa 1885. Not to worry, child: The beautiful cooler temps mean more al fresco dining, and that makes the perfect setting for some dee-licious Southern-style cooking.

Southern Nights Whether or not you’re a fan of that Southernmost of gay icons, Tennessee Williams, the great 20th Century playwright invoked so much of the genteel South in his work, especially the Pulitzer Prizewinning “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.” This laid-back-onthe-surface but steamy-and-sexy-as-hell underneath is what you want to suggest, in both your décor and the night’s flavor (food and otherwise). If you have access to a gazebo, this would make the perfect place to set your Southern al fresco fete. Outdoor tables set with white tablecloths and topped with pitchers of lemonade, iced tea (or “Arnold Palmers,” which are a mix of both), root beer, and buckets of your favorite beer and other fermented hard drinks will go nicely with the delicacies you will set out for your “company.” Play checkers with your guests, with those pitchers of lemonade close at hand (and, of course, a flask or two full of your favorite Kentucky Bourbon or sour mash whisky with which to spike it). You don’t need to play Dixieland jazz, but do choose music selections that sets the sultry, sexy, relaxed-as-a-cat setting for a night of ease and delicious food. If movies are on the menu, some great themed films would include the aforementioned 1955 “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” starring a hot and pouty Paul Newman opposite Elizabeth Taylor at the

height of her powers. For those with even more Old School tastes, nothing beats “Gone with the Wind.” And of course, the Old South’s past-meetsits-present in HBO’s modern Southern Gothic vampire myth, “True Blood.” Make sure you have a well-stocked bar for those who will be tippling (like Big Daddy—or Brick, yummy—in the Williams story). Kentucky Bourbon, sour mash (like Jack Daniel’s), vodka, rum—and the famous mint julep—are all perfect for the drinking guests at your soiree.

Cooking with Grease Southern cooking is delicious, flavorful, and a bit fattening (okay, more than a bit). Deal with it (but take care to use low-fat, low-sugar ingredients wherever possible—summer will be here eventually). Try these delicious tastes on for size, and enjoy all the fuss.

Classic Chicken and Dumplings My Cub Scouts den mother turned me on to this traditional Southern delight when I was only knee-high to a grasshopper. Something this sinfully good should be a lot harder to make. Ingredients • 7 lbs of cut-up chicken pieces • 4 cups of chicken stock • 2 onions, chopped • 3 stalks of celery, chopped • 3 teaspoons of salt • 1 egg Continued on Page 38

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Continued from Page 36

• ¼ cup of milk • 1 ½ cups of all-purpose flour • 1 ½ teaspoons of baking powder • 2 tablespoons of unsalted butter • 2 tablespoons of chopped parsley • 1 cup of water • ½ teaspoon of ground black pepper To Make Chicken: Place the chicken pieces in a large pot, and add celery, onion, chicken stock, and two teaspoons of salt. Partially cover and simmer on medium low heat, about 20 minutes (until chicken is tender). To Make Dumplings: Beat egg and milk in a large mixing bowl. Add flour, baking powder, and one teaspoon of salt, and mix. Cut in the butter until mixture is crumbly. Mix in one tablespoon of parsley. Drop dumpling mixture in six large spoonfuls on top of the simmering chicken. Cover and let simmer for about 10 minutes. For Gravy: Remove chicken and dumplings to a large bowl, and then cover and set aside. Strain the remaining stock (in the pot), making sure to press out any remaining vegetable liquid. Place the stock back into the pot. Combine water with the remaining flour, and stir in the strained stock. Bring to a boil. Stir constantly to thicken in. Put the chicken and dumplings back in the pot, and gently combine. Serve with the remaining parsley. Southern Chicken-Fried Steak with Gravy The name of this classic regional beef recipe comes from the herb-seasoned coating that is used on pieces of chicken before they go into the deep fryer. What’s good for Southern Fried Chicken is equally good for beef steak. Enjoy, y’all! Ingredients • 1 lb of beef top round steak (cut ½ inch thick) • ¾ cup of fine dry bread crumbs • ½ teaspoon of dried basil or oregano, crushed • ½ teaspoon of salt • ¼ teaspoon of pepper • 1 beaten egg • 1 tablespoon of milk • 2 tablespoons cooking oil • 1 small onion, sliced and separated into rings • 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour • 1 1/3 cups of milk

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Cut steak into four serving-size pieces, and trim off the fat. Place the meat between two pieces of plastic wrap. Pound the meat with a mallet to ¼ inch thickness. In a bowl, combine bread crumbs, basil or oregano, salt, and pepper. In another shallow bowl, stir together the egg and one tablespoon of milk. Dip the meat pieces in the egg mixture, and then coat them with the bread crumb mixture. Brown the meat pieces in hot oil over medium heat in a 12-inch skillet, about three minutes on each side, and then reduce the heat to low and cover. Cook for about one or until tender, and then transfer the meat pieces to a platter, and cover them. For the gravy, cook the onion in the pan drippings until the pieces are tender, but not brown. If necessary, add more oil. Stir in flour, and add the 1-1/3 cups of milk. Cook, stirring until the gravy has thickened and is bubbly. Stir for another two minutes, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve the gravy with the meat (I know what I said). Old Dominion Green Bean Casserole This traditional Southern dish was said to have been invented by Robert E. Lee’s wife when she was desperately trying to feed the Confederate troops during the Battle of Manassas. (Not a word of that story is true, but you’re getting into the spirit of the thing, Son.) Ingredients • 1 can (10 ounces) of condensed cream of mushroom soup • 4 cups of cooked green beans • ½ cup of milk • 1 1/3 cups of French fried onions • 1/8 teaspoon of pepper Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix soup, milk and pepper in a 1 ½ quart casserole dish. Stir in the beans and 2/3 cup of fried onions. Bake for about 25 minutes, and top with the remaining 2/3 cup of fried onions. Bake for another five minutes, just until the onions are lightly browned. Dig in, children. Now go fix Big Daddy another mint julep.

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bar guide ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oGayborhood tradition since 1997. Comfortable, inviting atmosphere with indoor video bars, outdoor drinking and dining. Drink specials all week, with mammoth 22-ounce Long Island Iced Teas for $3 on Thursdays. BILL’S FILLING STATION 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oVideos, pool tables, dart boards, dance floor, happy hour, live shows, Tuesday and Thursday karaoke – and great burgers to boot. Fun and friendly truck-stop-themed bar, great staff. BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oOver 100 of the sexiest men from all over the world. Go-go dancers, cages, billiards, 2-4-1 Happy Hours. Drag em- cees and did we mention the boys? BOOM 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oThe bar with two names features a dance club and Gayborhood bar. Drag Bingo on Mondays, karaoke Mondays and Tuesdays, dance music Fridays and Saturdays, and (indoor) Sunday T-Dance. CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave Wilton Manors oFriendly atmosphere, unpretentious clientele and staff. Next to Island City Pizza (so you can get your drink AND your slice on). CUBBY HOLE 823 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oButch bar and grill with a rockin’ daytime crowd (and a fun nighttime one, too). Fiftycent pool, 2-for-1 drinks all day every day, video games, hot movies on HDTV and DirecTV. DEPOT CABANA BAR AND GRILL 2935 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oAdjacent to the America’s Best Inn and Suites. Pool open daily - No Cover or Day Pass. Great food, daily happy hour, Sunday afternoon T-Dance Poolside. Karaoke and live music. Open daily at 11:30 a.m. DUDES 3270 NE 33rd St Fort Lauderdale oMen dancing for men. Hot go-go boys in an upscale atmosphere, piano lounge for more quiet interludes. Steamy shower shows.

Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

INFINITY LOUNGE 2184 WIlton Drive Wilton Manors oMartini and specialty cocktail lounge in the heart of Wilton Manors, featuring fresh fruit concoctions in an intimate industrial/chic setting. Sexy & jazzy lounge music. Add sparkle to your day. Enjoy Sinatra Sundays: A vibe unlike any other to wrap up the weekend. JOHNNY’S 1116 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oClub, bar, lounge. Male dancers and the men who love (to ogle) them. Sunday amateur strip contest (and karaoke!). LIPS 1421 E Oakland Park Blvd Oakland Park oThe Ultimate in Drag Dining. Dinner and shows six nights a week. Sunday Gospel Brunch with the Sisters of Sequins. MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oDrink specials, billiards, and a chill gayborhood vibe. 75 cent drinks on Wednesdays. No Drama, No Smoking. MONA’S 502 E Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCocktail Lounge in the heart of Searstown. Fun customers, fun bartenders and fun proprietor (the Legendary Jerry). Outside patio. Wednesday karaoke, Thursday Speedball Tournament. MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar. Karaoke, drags shows, Patio Bar and open at 9 a.m. daily. NAKED GRAPE 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oRelaxing, friendly, hip, unique. The alternative gathering place on Wilton Dr. Now serving tapas nightly. Social Hour features $5 house wine glasses, $1 Barcelona Bites, and In The Biz all the time. RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave Fort Lauderdale oVoted World’s Favorite Leather Bar. Pig Dance first Saturday of the month – South Florida’s Busiest, Craziest Monthly Party (with caged hunks at midnight on Saturdays – Is there a downside to this?). ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2449 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oNexus of the A-Gay List. Be Seen in the Scene (without making one). Food, folks, libations, and a killer Sunday Funday.

SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors oA line-dancin’, tight blue jeans-wearin’ good time. Country and western music, two-steppin’, three-steppin’, pool tables, and themed events year ‘round. Cowboys and Indians was never this much fun, Pilgrim. SIDELINES 2031 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWhere sports come first. Nationally known destination sports bar with TVs streaming NFL, MLB, NBA and college games. Pool tables, dart boards and large indoor (and now smoke-free) facility. SLAMMER 321 W Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oPrivate Men’s Club. Pay cover, then uncover. Monday In the Biz, Thursday Leather Nights. They bring the party (and the mattresses), you bring the booze. SMARTY PANTS 2400 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar with daily happy hour, and regular patrons. Show night Thursdays at 9 p.m. Karaoke Friday and Saturday nights, with matinee on Sunday afternoon. THE MANOR COMPLEX 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWeHo vibe (think: LA’s The Abbey) in the heart of the Gayborhood. Dine, drink, dance, play, mingle. Theme rooms (Latin Night every Saturday in the Latin Quarter!). Live dancing and dining. THE STABLE 205 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oLevis-and-leather neighborhood bar, where the bears line dance and the cowboys are VERY friendly. TORPEDO 2829 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oDance, shoot pool, drink til 4 a.m., 7 nights a week. Doors open at midnight; dance til dawn. WILTON’S BIER GARDEN 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oGerman cuisine meets Der Gayborhood, in a fun, relaxed atmosphere. Upstairs dining, downstairs outdoor patio and bar, DJ music, and a fun staff make one of Wilton Manors’ newest venues a good time to be had by all.

Miami / Miami Beach CLUB SUGAR 2301 SW 32nd Ave Miami oGay Latin scene, with Salsa, Merengue, Reggaeton, Hip Hop and House music always playing. DISCOTEKKA 950 NE 2nd Ave Miami oHot music, hot scene, hot bartenders, and hot patrons in the hot heart of Downtown Miami. MOVA LOUNGE 1625 Michigan Ave Miami Beach oOn Miami Beach’s famed Lincoln Road, never a cover. Drink specials all week long, live DJs, high energy music and a fun crowd getting their dance on til late.

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PALACE BAR 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach oThis bar and restaurant in the heart of South Beach’s Art Deco District. Mouth- watering burgers, boys (and girls!). Weekend cabaret shows Thursday through Sunday. SCORE 727 Lincoln Rd Miami Beach oDance, drink, party all night on Miami Beach’s Lincoln Road. Tons of events throughout the year, including fundraisers for Winter Party, White Party, and Miami Beach Gay Pride. SPACE 34 NE 11th St Miami oMingle and mix with gays and str8s in the heart of Downtown Miami. Indoor dance floors and outdoor rooftop bar, spectacular light show.

SWINGING RICHARDS 17450 Biscayne Blvd N Miami oThe only gay strip club in Southern Florida to offer FULLY NUDE dancers. Smokin’ hot dancers all week long. TWIST 1057 Washington Ave Miami Beach oGreat music, friendly staff, hot tourists and locals. Never a cover, always a groove. Bungalow Bar = Hot Men. In SoBe’s Art Deco District. VLADA LOUNGE 3215 NE 2nd Ave Miami oUrban, sophisticated and chic in Midtown Miami with a bar that ices over. New York pedigree meets Miami attitude. Nightly DJs, never a cover.

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Guy Travel By ROBERT ELIAS DEATON

San Francisco Part One

Baghdad by the Bay

here was a time, not so many years ago, when San Francisco was the personification of gaydom. This was the epicenter of political activism, carnal sex, sophisticated design and colorful people. And all of it jammed into a thriving area known as the Castro District. It was hot, funny, intellectual and happening—and then, as if in a nanosecond, it took a breather on nearly all fronts, the victim of HIV infections, the Harvey Milk assassination, stabbings at Halloween celebrations, and an escalating real estate market that pushed many gays on to less expensive cities (Fort Lauderdale among them). Fast forward to 2012 and San Francisco is experiencing a gay renaissance. No, it’s not what it once was in sheer numbers of LGBT population, but there is an entirely new wave of x-genders and youth benders who have moved to the financial capital of the West. There, among the architectural splendor that is San Francisco, are thriving eclectic mixes of lesbians, gays, bisexual and transgender folks who are reclaiming their place in the city’s history. Getting to this gem of a city is just a non-stop plane ride away from Fort Lauderdale airport via Jet Blue or Virgin America, with the roundtrip fare a reasonable $240 if you plan ahead. Whisk yourself into the city center and all the happening events that implies with a $40 cab ride. Better yet, prepurchase an $18.50 roundtrip voucher, ride down a few escalators from your terminal and take the AirTrain Red Line to the Civic Center exit—a swift 30-minute ride. Hotels in San Francisco are expensive, lavish and worth every penny. Since this is a place where sophistication is a middle name, you can expect attention paid to the smallest details even in economy hotels, which are available—but are usually booked well in advance. Among these: the Hotel Whitcomb (1231 Market St.) within walking distance of cable car stations and the Grant Plaza Hotel (465 Grant Ave.) between Chinatown and Union Square. On the other end of the price

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San Francisco is vibrant, cultural, and very gay friendly

scale, you’ll find the Ritz-Carlton San Francisco, a 1909 Nob Hill landmark located at 600 Stockton St. and the W Hotel San Franicsco (181 3rd St.).

Accomodations are luxurious at the San Francisco Ritz-Carlton

However, our very favorite hotel in the city is neither budget branded nor ritzy elegant. It’s not even a hotel at all, but rather a 21-room bedand-breakfast called the Parker Guest House located in the Castro at 520 Church St. The Parker is actually two 1909 Edwardian homes connected by extensive gardens. The rates at this exquisitely decorated B&B begin at $149 per night and gradually escalate to $249. Even if you decide to stay somewhere else, make it a point when you visit the Castro area to ask the front desk to see the sunning garden. Regardless of the season, the Parker is a delight inside and out. All rooms, of course, have private baths and there is a complimentary steam room available in late afternoons and evenings. It is central to the Castro area, which still ranks as the gay center of the city. The business district runs from Market Street to 19th Street, and offers an entertaining bevy of bars, adult porn parlors, restaurants, novelty shops, clothing stores and a bakery or two, as well as the famed Castro Theater, built in 1922. The 1,500 seat movie palace at 429 Castro St., with its grand Wurlitzer Pipe Organ, is a must see. For more places to see and be seen, catch us next week. We promise surprises of the best kind.

Robert Elias Deaton is a world-traveling epicure who enjoys the finer things in life.

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Guy Tunes By GRANT JAMES

Ke$ha’s “C’mon,” RiRi’s “Diamonds” (with and without Kanye), Grace Potter does The Beatles loss, and hope. “Gone, Gone, Gone” sounds like a sequel to his previous single, “Home,” which isn’t always a bad thing, but the phrase “one trick pony” does seem to come to mind. The Dave Matthews Band-meets-Mumford and Sons sound is pulled off nicely by Phillips—we just hope there’s some longevity to it.

Ke$ha: “C’mon”

Party rock singer/rapper (and creator of “cock pop”) Ke$ha recently released her newest single, “C’mon,” from the forthcoming LP “Warrior.” It’s typical Ke$ha feel-good party pop, but also features extremely slick production. Continuing down the electronic path, the performer is now seemingly drawn to darker, gothic-influenced beats (and to Illuminati-inspired symbolism, as seen in the video for “Die Young”). Don’t worry, lighthearted Ke$ha is still to be found in “C’mon:” “Feelin’ like a saber tooth tiger/Sippin’ on a warm Budweiser.” Brewed to perfection.

Grace Potter & the Nocturnals: “All You Need Is Love”

Vermont rockers Grace Potter and her band mysteriously released a cover of “All You Need Is Love” on iTunes, with no mention of it on any of the band’s official Web sites. The cover is faithful to the original by The Beatles, and contains serious soul, with backing from a shout-worthy chorus.

Phillip Phillips: “Gone, Gone, Gone”

“America Idol” season 11 winner Phillip Phillips has released his debut album, “The World From the Side of the Moon.” It features lots of mopey acoustic songs, filled with declarations of love,

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Rihanna: “Diamonds” (featuring Kanye West)

Only Kanye West could take a mediocre pop song—the new Rihanna single “Diamonds”— rap all over it, and make it sound original, rich, and—well, better. Unfortunately, RiRi’s throwaway chorus is still present in the remix. Her new album, “Unapologetic,” is in stores now—but, unfortunately, it comes sans the Kanye remix of “Diamonds.”

Kate Nash: “Death Proof”

British pop-rock icon Kate Nash has gone in a completely different direction on her newest EP, “Death Proof.” The title track single ditches Kate’s quirky pop-rock sound to explore a grungier, oldschool vibe. Inspired by Quentin Tarantino’s grind house movie of the same name the single sounds like a 1950s beach party being held in Hell. Nash coos, “I don’t have time to die,” just before the track closes in a moment that is “Wipeout”esque. Gnarly.

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Guy Fitness By TOM BONANTI

Holiday Training Survivor Guide

t has been estimated that the average American male between the ages of 25 and 55 puts on nearly five to 10 pounds every year during the holiday season. While this sobering statistic may seem extreme, it is hardly an exaggeration when you think of the extra parties, drinking, and eating that goes on at Yuletide. Sure, this is a wonderful time of the year and it is great to just let go and make merry with friends and family. But you do need to be aware of your potential to slide, and plan accordingly for those situations. When it comes to holiday hubris, it’s always good to use some common sense, and maybe just a little restraint. Use moderation when drinking and by all means avoid the costly and even deadly mistake of drinking and driving. Make healthy choices at the buffet table. Don’t let holiday stress or lack of time keep you from training. Here are some pointers to help you stay strong, fit and in control in spite of the temptations ahead. Schedule your workouts before you fill your calendar with parties and obligations ! Worried that you won’t have time to squeeze in your workout? Consider shifting your training. Evenings and weekends are too busy with commitments? Try weights and cardio first thing in the morning. You may have to get up earlier, but you have the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve jump-started your metabolism and burned off some serious calories. Consolidate your workouts. Train two body parts with a continuous superset technique. For instance, you can train your tri’s and bi’s with alternating sets. Pair dumbbell curls with dumbbell triceps extensions for three to four sets. Work at one station with the same weight if you can, so as not to waste time changing weights. Make your workouts more intense. You may not have a full hour to train because of errands and obligations, but you can have a kick-ass workout in 20-30 minutes. The key here is to use less weight and perform more reps and sets

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in rapid succession. Take less rest between sets. Move from station to station quickly and avoid distractions. Use the holidays to rest and regroup. Take the holiday season off. Many bodybuilders and professional athletes follow a tough five monthson, one month-off routine. One of the best ways to build muscles is to give them a chance to rest, recover and grow, but remember, stay active and eat wisely. Train on the road. One of the biggest problems during the holidays, and even at other times of the year when you are traveling, is a lack of access to a gym. Join a gym for a day or a week. Many gym chains allow you to take a travel pass and train for free while you’re out of town. If not, you can often purchase a day pass for $5-$20. Simplify your workouts – If you’re on the road and you can’t get to the gym, you can still do crunches, lunges and leg lifts for the abs and butt. Try using your own body weight to do push ups and chair dips for chest and tri’s. Front and lateral raises for shoulders can be done with objects found in your hotel room. Use the stairs when traveling or sightseeing. Whatever you do, just stay active and keep moving! For more tips on how to survive the holiday havoc ahead, contact TrainerTomB@aol.com. Happy holidays to one and all!

Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and owner of Pump’n Inc Gym at 1271 NE 9th Ave, Fort Lauderdale. For more tips on how to maintain your muscular, toned summer body, give me a shout at TrainerTomB@aol.com

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the SCENE

By DUNCAN ST. THIBAULT

F.U.K. Madonna: American Airlines Arena Edition

he self-styled “Queen” was late to her own coronation on Monday night, November 19, as fans at the American Airlines Arena— your Correspondent included—waited for more than three hours for Madonna to take the stage. “Pissed” and “restless” were the watchwords at the Triple-A in downtown Miami, as thousands waited—and waited—and waited—for the Material Girl to descend, Elizabeth Taylor-as-Cleopatra-like, sometime and long after 11:30 p.m. Shame on you, Louise Ciccone. Besides an ornery Yours Truly, fans were “treated” to the same-old sounds of circuit DJ Paul Oakenfold (yes, he still has chops, but seriously, Oak’s time to fold has come, at least inside the kind of venue the Trip is, and for the kind of mostly 25+ crowd— working people with jobs, and babysitters).

Fans—or whatever they were after La Madge dissed them—tweeted and posted to Facebook their outrage. One full-figure-fella sitting in front of Proculus and me (I THINK his name was Ruben: we were trying to read over his shoulder; yeah yeah, whatevs) was madly texting to his “boyfriend” at home (whom we got the sense from his text replies was all snugly warm and in the arms of another, but I digress…). “Oh, chile! These people are mean and angryangry,” our new (and unknown to him) friend texted his absent (and lucky) paramour. Behind us, a real tear-jerker unfolded as a single mom in her 30s with four daughters aged 11 to 17 waited—and waited—and waited—for Madonna to start performing. They stayed (I am not making this

Maybe she was just... Tired?

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Continued on Page 54

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Continued from Page 52

up) for two songs before leaving, as the middle kid had a test on Tuesday morning. Refund, Madge? After two hours of self-masturbatory (and possibly pre-canned—it was hard to tell in Low Earth Orbit where we were seated) spinning from Oakenfold (who I’m sure is a lovely person), Madonna’s tame reps reminded the still-at-this-point-tame audience that the evening’s performance would be taped for the tour DVD. Wow: To take part (even just a little) in her apotheosis! Rep-Man led the audience in some weak cheering exercises (which reminded me of the fat peasant-costumed dude who does the same gig before the jousts at the Renaissance festival), before disappearing without a how-why-or-wherefore as to why we had been treated to him in the first place. Clearly the Queen was delaying, but the question to me at that point was: Is she amused, and is it at our expense. (She apparently pulled the same crap on Tuesday night, too; we get it, Your Madge-esty: Fool us twice, shame on us.) So we waited. And waited. And waited. When she finally arrived, the production values were amazing, but the Queen seemed to be “phoning it in.” Although “Gang Bang” had excellent moves and a decent presentation, there wasn’t a lot of energy in her singing, and after about four or five songs—but nothing new that I couldn’t have enjoyed more serenely in the comfort of my living room (and my Calvins)—we left. (This was about three songs after that unfortunate troupe of mother-and-daughters went on their own depressed way.) The single biggest memory of the evening (other than the amazing parallel-parking job I did in the city lot across from Bayfront) was The Madonna’s self-congratulatory performance of “I Don’t Give A” with a videotaped recording of Nicki Minaj, in which the Trinidadian rapper finishes, “There’s only one queen: Madonna.” This was followed by Madge’s homage to her sophomoric (and eerily evokative of “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane”) Lady Gaga rivalry, with her cute samplings of “Born This Way” followed by her snarky tag, “She’s not me.” On Tuesday, Madonna’s reps said that an issue with shooting the video was the reason for the performer’s delay. But that seems to me like it should be her problem, not ours. “Whatever Happened to Baby Madonna?” At this point, I, and a lot of other disillusioned SoFla fans, “don’t give a” **** either.

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Spotlight By ALEX VAUGHN

An Interview with Stacy Hyde, Interim CEO

roward House is Broward County’s oldest and largest HIV/AIDS community service organization. Founded in 1988, it has 15 locations throughout South Florida. As previously reported, (Florida Agenda, November 14, 2012, SUNSHINE STATE: “Broward House CEO Resigns amid Child Sex Abuse Accusations”), this month, CEO Michael McGuigan resigned his position following an agonizing consideration by the agency’s board. Stacy Hyde has stepped in to serve as interim CEO. She has been with Broward House for 10 years this month, and has held a variety of positions in the organization. “I have been in a leadership position here for 10 years in some capacity or other,” she noted. “So really I am continuing to do everything I have always done: I continue to focus on the staff, our clients and the community.” Hyde says that the focus at Broward House is on the clients’ needs, and forging a path for future service. “We have staff that has been here for anywhere between two to 20 years, their passion doesn’t change due to one cloud,” she explained. “Our clients are our inspiration. We use their grace and strength to continue to move forward because they rely on us.” Broward House helps over 6,000 people and Hyde says that every client is a unique opportunity to make a difference. “A client came here after suffering a lot of physical and sexual abuse,” she recalled. “He completed our substance abuse program, got better, and is now employed and happy.” She says that the assistance the agency offers its clients come in all forms. “[There was] a gentleman who came here, but he died. He affected me because he died with grace and dignity, and without us I know he would have died on the street,” she related. “What also impacts me

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is the people we haven’t reached yet. In a way they affect me more because we haven’t reached them, and that is also what drives me: We have to reach them.” Hyde says that she and Broward House plan to focus in 2013 on building upon the solid foundation the agency has set. “I always believe you can continue to strengthen your core,” she said. “I want to continue to grow our outreach and prevention programs. For example, we have an ‘MPowerment’ program that targets young MSM [men-who-have-sex-with-men] between the ages of 18 to 30. It is crucial to reach the vulnerable.”

“We continue to strengthen our main offering,” Hyde noted, “because I believe if we expand the existing the services we can reach more individuals who are not in treatment. I also will be focusing on counselling and testing and reaching those who are HIV positive and don’t know it. That in itself is a big prevention component.” Hyde says that no matter what services Broward House unveils, community support is “vital.” “It takes the entire community to make changes,” she explained. No individual can do it all. It requires agencies, people, and business to do it. In any area HIV affects every single person, so it takes every single person to achieve change.” For more information, visit browardhouse.org.

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