Agenda 090816 issue 355 by Multi-Media Platforms

September 08, 2016

PASSAGE Far-right activist, author Phyllis Schlafly dies at 92 ST. LOUIS (AP) - Phyllis Schlafly, the outspoken conservative activist who helped defeat the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s and founded the Eagle Forum political group, has died. She was 92. Schlafly’s family was with her when she died Monday afternoon of cancer at her home in St. Louis, her son John Schlafly said. Funeral arrangements are pending, he said. Schlafly rose to national attention in 1964 with her selfpublished book, “A Choice Not an Echo,” that became a manifesto for the far right. The book, which sold three million copies, chronicled the history of the Republican National Convention and is credited for helping conservative Sen. Barry Goldwater of Arizona earn the 1964 GOP nomination. She later helped lead efforts to defeat the proposed constitutional amendment that would have out-

lawed gender discrimination, galvanizing the party’s right. She’d graduated from college while working overnight at a factory during World War II, her newspaper column appeared in dozens of newspapers and she was politically active into her 90s - including attending every convention since her first in 1952. She attended this year’s convention as a Donald Trump delegate. Yet she told The Associated Press in 2007 that perhaps her greatest legacy was the Eagle Forum, which she founded in 1972 in suburban St. Louis, where she lived. The ultraconservative group has chapters in several states and claims 80,000 members. “I’ve taught literally millions of people how to participate in self-government,” Schlafly said. “I think I’ve built a wonderful organization of volunteers, mostly women but some men, willing to

spend their time to get good laws and good politicians.” The Eagle Forum pushes for low taxes, a strong military and English-only education. The group is against efforts it says are pushed by radical feminists or encroach on U.S. sovereignty, such as guest-worker visas, according to its website, which describes the Equal Rights Amendment as having had a “hidden agenda of tax-funded abortions and same-sex marriages.” The group said in a statement on its website announcing Schlafly’s death that her “focus from her earliest days until her final ones was protecting the family, which she understood as the building block of life.” Schlafly was born Aug. 15, 1924, and grew up in Depressionera St. Louis. Her parents were Republican but not politically involved. nn

September 08, 2016

[ JUST ADAM

The week reflected back through fabulously funny eyes

A GAY OLE TIME. God bless my family, we truly put the “fun” in dysfunctional but we always manage to have a good time. I’m slowly entering a barbecue food coma but it’s about 900° and humid out and there is basically nowhere to turn. BBQ coma + Golden Girls marathon on TV Land = Happy Adam. BUSINESS FIRST. Well played, Facebook. Now instead of giving specific news headlines you just list people in the news. So I automatically have to click on everyone to check if they’re dead or not. Smart. Very smart. MAN’S BEST FRIEND. My dog is definitely my spirit animal. On a day with no obligations, there’s nothing we both love more than laying around, eating nonstop and being useless fat craps. MY GOLDEN GIRL MOMENTS. I swear to God. The older I get and the more I deal with annoying people. I completely understand why Dorothy Zbornak has always been a personal hero and her general disdain for the human race. TELLING IT LIKE IT IS. I’m noticing that human resources professionals at certain companies that don’t have the time to acknowledge or follow up on your application or resume certainly have a lot of time to go onto LinkedIn and post stupid inspirational messages and photos of their ugly families. No tea No shade. TENDING WITH NEW STYLE. Hipsters are falling over themselves, clutching their Gwyneth Paltrow selected wooden necklace beads, sourced from a rare African rainforest tribe, and taking Francesco Scavullo-style food selfies ever since Starbucks announced their newest “flavor profile,” CHILE MOCHA!!! Rest in peace, salted caramel because self-proclaimed “foodies”, and anybody that’s watched more than three episodes of “Top Chef” will be incorporating this new flavor into their amuse Bouche! THE BLAME GAME. Ann Coulter is quite possibly the most perfect Trump supporter. Instead of just taking the roast insults like a champ, she blames “bad editing!” Just like “rigged elections.” MY THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK. All I’m saying is, Helen Keller was better at taking dictation than Siri has been for the past few months. Hum, must be a new iphone release soon.

Adam Cohen is South Florida’s favorite and most fabulous social commentator. He’s also single. Find him on Facbook to keep up with his hilarious take on the week’s headlines. 8

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WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING... Random thoughts from social media and beyond this week

Miss Missouri, Erin O’Flaherty, is the first openly lesbian contestant to win a state title in the Miss America pageant. Her platform is suicide prevention, an issue she says is particularly important with young gay people. The pageant will be held Sunday September 11, 2016 in Atlantic City, NJ and will also air live on ABC at 9 pm. “People should understand that my year as Miss Missouri and hopefully as Miss America will not be solely about the fact that I’m gay,” she said. “While I honor the LGBT community and I am proud to be part of it, I have goals that have nothing to do with my sexuality. I encourage people to understand that this is who I am but it’s not all that I am.” Playgirl wants Ryan Lochte to ‘Drop His Speedos.’ Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte is being courted by Playgirl to show us all the goods. “We are reaching out to him with an offer,” said Playgirl spokesperson. “Now that he’s out of his Speedo sponsorship deal, Playgirl.com wants to get Ryan Lochte out of his Speedos,” he continued. “We’re fully prepared to handle this ‘brah’ (as Ryan would say), and take his studliness to new heights, in a huge offer to show American men and women what Ryan Lochte really would do—naked.”

Singer Cyndi Lauper, who appeared alongside Trump is season nine of Celebrity Apprentice, compared the tycoon to Adolf Hitler, as she criticized his attitude towards the LGBT community, especially considering that many of his employees are gay. “The things that he says are appalling to me and shocking. I was so shocked when he started to talk about the LGBT community, when in fact; people who did amazing work on his Celebrity Apprentice show were gay. You don’t talk about your employees like that ever. Even as a boss, you have a responsibility for the people who work for you.”

How To Get Away With Murder actor Conrad Ricamora while accepting the Human Rights Campaign’s Visibility Award, commenting on being closeted teen in rural Florida, to an out actor portraying an HIV-positive, sexually active openly gay Asian American man of color on network TV. “I will say that it’s a little ironic to be getting the Visibility Award because so much of growing up as a kid was spent trying to be invisible,” said Ricamora, who plays Oliver on the ABC show. “It was rough, not only being gay, but having the colored skin that I have. I was terrified that someone would see me as gay and I was also terrified that I would see myself for what I naturally was.”

British Actor Joshua Sasse who is engaged to gay icon Australian singer Kylie Minogue, has revealed his support of same-sex marriage in Australia. He has said, “I am very sad that Australia hasn’t changed their laws on gay marriage. I’m so adamant to fight for gay rights in Australia and it’s coming from the most genuine place. I just can’t fathom that same sex marriage hasn’t been legalized and we are waiting for it to happen. That would be my one flag I would fly unequivocally.” September 08, 2016

News Briefs Go to floridaagenda.com for other exclusive stories. SUNSHINE STATE

Massacre maniac has Airbnb for rent In addition to making threats to kill gays, Craig Jungwirth wants them to stay with him at his Fort Lauderdale Airbnb. Imagine that vacation! While the listing is still running, the Florida house is a distant memory for the now-incarcerated Jungwirth. nn

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North Carolina transgender bathroom trial delayed

RALEIGH, NC (AP) - The trial over a North Carolina law governing transgender restroom access is being pushed back by several months, an attorney for residents challenging the law said Friday. U.S. Magistrate Judge Joi Elizabeth Peake partly granted a request to delay the North Carolina proceedings while the U.S. Supreme Court considers whether to hear a Virginia case on transgender restroom access, according to a brief entry in the federal court docket. James Esseks, an ACLU lawyer on the team representing three transgender residents, said the judge’s order means the case will be pushed back from its November trial date until May. The ACLU and the U.S. Justice Department are challenging the law, while North Carolina’s Republican governor and legislative leaders are defending it. nn

Texas, other states file to support N. Carolina restroom law

RALEIGH, NC (AP) - Texas and a dozen other states are asking a federal judge in North Carolina to side with Republican leaders defending a law governing transgender restroom access. The group behind the amicus brief Wednesday largely overlaps with states that won a ruling last week against Obama administration guidelines on transgender restroom access in schools. The states also argue the North Carolina proceedings should be halted temporarily because of that ruling and a Virginia case that the U.S. Supreme Court may hear. Meanwhile, states including New York and dozens of companies have filed amicus briefs attacking North Carolina’s law. nn

Schuh asks school board to reconsider transgender guidelines

Gay Con Artist/Massacre Mess Craig Jungwirth Hospitalized UPDATE: ORLANDO—The 50-year-old man accused of making anti-gay threats to massacre LGBTs over last Labor Day weekend missed his day in court Tuesday after complaining of chest pains. Ironically, sources say that the overweight prisoner was transported to Orlando Regional Medical Center, the same hospital where many of those killed in the June 12 Pulse Nightclub massacre were taken. Jungwirth had posted threats on Facebook last week which included a comment that “...Faggots are total pansies. None of you deserve to live. If you losers thought the Pulse nightclub shooting was bad, wait till you see what I’m planning for Labor Day.” nn 10

September 08, 2016

ANNAPOLIS, MD (AP) - County Executive Steve Schuh is asking the Anne Arundel Board of Education to reconsider allowing transgender students to use bathrooms of their gender identity. Media outlets report that last week, the school system sent a set of guidelines to school administrators stating that students should be allowed to use bathrooms of their gender identity. It also said students on field trips should be allowed to sleep in the common space of their gender identity. Schuh wrote in a letter to the school board that the guidelines infringed on the rights of students who might be uncomfortable sharing bathrooms with transgender students. He recommends that transgender students use private bathrooms and lodgings. nn

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INTERNATIONAL

Texas attorney general dines with 8-year-old transgender boy

South Africa to give free HIV treatment to all infected

JOHANNESBURG (AP) South Africa said Thursday it will now provide free treatment to all people infected with HIV, regardless of the condition of their immune system. The country leads the world in infections. Before the announcement by the country’s health department, people were eligible for free treatment based on a certain measure of their white blood cells, which fight infection. “This new policy extends this to all people living with HIV,” the department said. The change is based on World Health Organization guidelines adopted in late 2015 after it was found that treating those with HIV as early as possible improves their health and prolongs their life. South Africa has one of the world’s largest treatment programs, with over 3.4 million people receiving HIV medication. The United Nations has said some seven million people in South Africa were believed to be infected with HIV in 2105. The health department said the change in policy would help increase life expectancy in the country, currently at 63 years, to at least 70 years by 2030. It warned, however, that the change may lead to congestion and increased waiting times at health facilities. nn

GAY PRIEST WHO BACKED GAY MARRIED CATHOLIC WORKER SUSPENDED

HOBOKEN, NJ (AP) - A gay priest in New Jersey has been suspended after his continued support of gay groups and a woman fired from a Roman Catholic high school for marrying her partner. The Rev. Warren Hall was fired last year as a chaplain at Seton Hall University after posting support online for a group that promotes marriage equality. He was later appointed to a parish in Hoboken, but Hall said Newark Archbishop John Myers suspended him Wednesday. Newark Archdiocese spokesman James Goodness said that Warren is “not allowed to function as a priest in any way” and that all priests promise “reverence and obedience” to their bishops and support of church teachings. Hall told Religion News Service that his support of Drumgoole was one of the reasons he was suspended. Hall said last year that he was fired from the Seton Hall job because of a photo he posted on his Facebook page supporting the NOH8 Campaign, an organization that promotes “marriage, gender and human quality.” He then publicly announced that he is gay and has kept his vow of celibacy. Goodness said at the time that Hall was removed from Seton Hall because his assignment was ending but that the social media post was an “area of conflict” because of the group’s advocacy for same-sex marriage. The problem was resolved when Hall removed the post from his page, Goodness said. nn

AUSTIN (AP)--Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton had dinner with the family of an 8-year-old transgender boy whose mother has criticized the Republican over policies she says impacts her son. Amber Briggle said Friday that Paxton and his wife were polite and there was no awkwardness during the nearly two-hour dinner at their Denton home despite their differences. Briggle has become an outspoken critic of Paxton challenging the Obama administration’s efforts to strengthen transgender rights. A federal judge sided with Paxton last month and halted a directive that told U.S. public schools to let transgender students use the bathroom consistent with their gender identity. Briggle says she’ll be personally hurt if Paxton continues opposing transgender rights after meeting her son Thursday night. A Paxton spokesman didn’t return a message seeking comment. nn

Gay police chief didn’t follow town policy

COLUMBIA, SC (AP) - The openly gay police chief of a small South Carolina town was suspended for failing to inform supervisors of a sexual harassment claim, revealing an officer’s salary at a public meeting and failing to file vehicle reports. The town of Latta released Crystal Moore’s disciplinary records Friday to The Associated Press after a Freedom of Information Act request. The town suspended Moore for five days this month. In response to the reprimands, Moore promised to follow town policy. The documents also show Moore checked another employee’s disciplinary records without permission. She says she was trying to help a new employee. Latta’s mayor fired Moore in 2014 saying he would rather have a drunk watch his grandchildren than a gay person. He was stripped of his power, and Moore was rehired. nn

Assembled through Associated Press September 08, 2016

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COVER STORY

PORN:

Florida Leads the Way (Again) BY RICHARD HACK

Florida has laid claim to a lot of titles in it storied 171-year history. Of course, we’re known as the Sunshine State, even though Arizona gets far more of the stuff annually. We’re the home to the hotel where Anna Nicole Smith died; the hanging chad from the Presidential election of 2000; and serial killer Ted Bundy. Well now, we’ve got a new nugget for infamy. According to the folks at the AdultDVDEmpire. com, and pornmd.com, Orlando, Florida, leads the country for

September 08, 2016

the most DVD’s downloaded, streamed, or rented. It’s no wonder the city is called The Happiest Place on Earth. Orlando won the title for the third time, over seemingly more likely winners like Miami (who scored in 10th place, and Tampa, which came in 7th). Fort Lauderdale apparently likes to experience its sex one-on-one in person, since our city of sun didn’t make the top one hundred at all. Florida is no slouch when it comes to the production of gay

pornography either—ending up in second place right behind Los Angeles. But as the years go by, the number of production companies have been dwindling, right along with the profits that reached in the millions not too many years ago. All of which brings us right back to Florida and its downloading dominance in the porn industry. The arrival of the Internet has produced some major breakout companies in the distribution end of the industry with pornmd.com one of the

largest porn delivery services in the world. Unfortunately, the easy availability of pornography is also threatening to be its downfall, as studios are facing the reality that piracy from free internet content providers are cutting them out of the money chain. It’s an unusual turn for an industry that saw its birth in the production of Wakefield Poole’s Boys in the Sand in 1971. The three-scene film starring Casey Donovan was made for only $8,000 in Cherry Grove on Fire

Island, and set the bar high for gay pornography that followed. Both producer and star ironically had Florida connections. Poole, an American dancer and choreography, was born in Jacksonville in 1936. Donovan, who had an extremely lucrative career in the modeling and porn industries, died of AIDS in Inverness, Florida in 1987 at the age of 43. Much of the industry is moving overseas where porn stars are being paid next to nothing to appear in films which lack the production value typically seen in those down in the U.S. But with decreasing profits, it is the only way many production companies are staying in business at all. One of the most currently successful porn business models was developed by a company called Bel Ami from Bratislava, Slovakia. Headed by Prague filmmaker George Duroy, the company has become synonymous with young blonds with hairless bodies, a group which has a large following among the younger porn viewer. Those in Florida, however, tend to be older and richer, still willing to pay monthly fees to streaming sites to accommodate their growing need for explicit sex. Despite tracing its history all the way back to Greek antiquity (the earliest known pornographic art is from the Byzantine Empire), the diversity of gay porn continues to grow, as amateurs take to the internet to secure their own 15 minutes of fame. With the availability of film production software, and music scoring programs, there appears to be no end to the industry that continues to adapt to its audience. For the record, the other top ten cities for porn viewing are Las Vegas, Wilmington (DE), Raleigh and Charlotte (NC), Atlanta, Anchorage and Austin (TX). nn September 08, 2016

2000 Oakland Park Blvd. Suite 106 | Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 Phone: 954-380-8563 | www.floridaagenda.com

AS I SEE IT

Publisher: Maura Mumball Lane Editor-In-Chief: Richard Hack - richardhack@wirld.com Creative Director: Kevin Broady Director of Sales South Florida: Sue Hotujec - sue@wirld.com

A PUBLICLY-TRADED LGBTQ COMPANY STOCK SYMBOL: MMPW

Call Me BiSexual (but not out loud)

So there we are, all of us bundled together as LGBTQ (and XYZ for all I know). Although I’ve discussed this before, in case you’ve forgotten, among that alphabet soup, I’m officially a B, as in Bisexual, as in feeling more or less the same with women as with men. Love ‘em all. That fact is more than a little upsetting to my husband, who sees the way women BY cruise me RICHARD in the local HACK Publix. He’s only too happy to point out my wedding ring (and his) to all those who glance my way—no introductions needed. He is officially a G in the mix, and highly protective of his B. I always thought of it as cute, until recently that is. Just this week, a new study was released, commissioned by the world famous Adam and Eve Adult Toy Company of Carrboro, North Carolina. You know, the ones who make all those clever items that are sold by Hustler and other adult purveyors. Like the Clone-A-Willy Kit which allows you to make a perfect rubberized duplicate of our penis for $44.95. In any case, I digress. Adam and Eve commissioned

September 08, 2016

Dr. Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli from Deakin’s School of Health and Social Development to ask 1,000 adults what they thought about having a relationship with a bisexual. I was shocked to discover that all these years, I had over-memorialized my skill at seduction. According to the study, nearly half of those polled (47%) said they wanted nothing to do with a bisexual, regardless of how handsome or physically fit he might be. We were just knocked off the list because we apparently made ourselves too available to, well, everyone. The good news was that 35% of the group actually thought the idea of hooking up with a bisexual was rather like a special treat. Like homemade pistachio sorbet, only different. And then there were those 19% who couldn’t decide whether they would like it or not. (But since I’m certain that some simple seduction would bring them around, I’m willing to commit that a full 50% would find a bisexual half in a relationship just dandy.) But it’s that other 47% that worry me. (Stick in the muds if you want my opinion.) There was some small consolation when Dr. Maria said that of the group who would welcome a bisexual in the master bedroom, there were more men than women who felt that way (39% versus 31%). Additionally, 23% of the women and 15% of the men were unsure when surveyed.

They really can’t be counted since they’re just “confused,” as my Aunt Dorothy used to say. In any case, there was more good news when the study was reflected upon slowly. According the Dr. Pallotta-Chiarolli, many of the women praised the “emotional depth, sexual intimacy and equitable gender dynamic of their mixed-orientation relationship,” with some actually sharing the reality that they would never be with a heterosexual man again. Suddenly I’m feeling much better. The doctor’s new book is titled Women in Relationships with Bisexual Men – Bi Men By Women. And according to Pallotta-Chiarolli, “Through this research and book, it is my hope that we can stop presenting only the stereotypical story.” Stereotypical story? About bisexuals? Reading a bit deeper into the book, I discovered to my absolute astonishment that it is generally believed that bisexuals (in other words, me) are “untrust-

worthy and have secret affairs; that all bisexual men transmit HIV and STI to women; and that all bisexual men are abusive to their women partners.” What? I should sue. Nothing short of character assassination, I tell you. “While we found these issues are certainly out there and we don’t shy away from discussing them, we need to lift the stigma for the women who choose to be in relationships with bisexual men and indeed say that bisexual men make better lovers and fathers,” Pallotta-Chiarolli added. Well, that part is true. We do make better lovers and fathers. If you don’t believe me, ask my husband. Just look for the French Creole flashing his wedding ring.

Richard Hack is the award-winning author of 26 books, and the Vice President of Content for Multimedia Platforms’ publications.

A PUBLICLY-TRADED LGBTQ COMPANY STOCK SYMBOL: MMPW

corporate ROBERT S. WEISS CEO

Peter C. Frank Chief Financial Officer

Maura “Mumball” Lane SVP | Media Sales

John Rochard SVP | Operations & Technology

Kevin Hopper SVP | Social Media Strategy

Michael Turner SVP | Media Ventures

Ed Baker VP | Branding & Creative Services Frank Perez Director of Accounting

Robert “Bobby” Blair Founder & Chairman of the Board

September 08, 2016

ELECTION 2016

34 DAYS REMAINING TO REGISTER TO VOTE

Important Reminder for the National Elections On Nov 8th

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You must be a citizen of the United States as well as a resident of Florida in the county in which are registering to vote. Only those 18 years of age are eligible to vote. Your voting location will vary depending on your home address which must be listed on your voterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s registration. Last day to register October 11. Via mail or on-line at http://dos.myflorida.com. 16

September 08, 2016

OPINION ALL THINGS CONSIDERED

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Just No Excuse nThe numbers: They’re disgraceful. The sources: The Broward Supervisor of Elections www.browardsoe.gov. Miami-Dade: http://results.enr.clarityelections.com/FL/Dade/63175/174997/en/summary.html. The culprit: People who chose not to vote. Broward: (Website last updated at: 08/31/2016 9:43:58 am) Registered Voters: 1,135,846 Ballots Cast: 187,640 Voter Turnout: 16.52% Miami-Dade: (Website last updated 8/31/2016 12:16:19 AM EDT) Registered Voters: 1,307,473 Ballots Cast: 267,678 Voter Turnout: 20.47 %

BY REV. JOEL SLOTNICK

For Broward: There was early voting. Granted, it was one week instead of two, but from August 20th at 10:00 a.m. to August 28th, 7:00 p.m., polls were open. There is what’s now called Vote By Mail, formerly Absentee ballot. I got mine over a month ago. Lastly we had Primary day, which was August 30th, 7:00 a.m.- 7:00 p.m. I have talked with quite a few people in person and on social media, since the August 30th primary elections. Aside from myself, there are quite a number of dumbfounded persons who don’t understand why people don’t vote. Some were quite colorful, even possible solutions. Some of those comments: “Lazy @#& fools that were afraid to get wet....I went out in the POUR @%#& RAIN to VOTE!!! Then they want to cry the blues when $h#t doesn’t go their way!!! GO LIVE IN A DICTATORSHIP COUNTRY WHERE YOU CAN NEVER VOTE YOU #)!*$ !!!” “What a disgrace! I just don’t understand... Please explain.” “This always shocks me, I’m lost for words.

Very sad.” “So pathetic. You can’t have a democracy work with a bunch of non-voters.” “I bet if the penalty was no social media for 6 months there would be 100 percent” “People complain about our politicians but don’t bother to vote ... they should just shut up.” “I know this sounds radical, but I do support a Constitutional duty to vote. We may need to add a column to every race that says “neither” but I think if you want to be a citizen in good standing, barring some good reason, you should vote in every election. For me, that is the bare minimum we should expect from any citizen.” In my eyes, a primary is just as important as a “big” election. I see it geared more to our state & local issues/persons: Governors, Senators, Mayors, Commissioners, Counsel persons, judges, school board officials, etc. What in God’s name is so unimportant people don’t feel it’s necessary to vote? Do people think Florida is in such a state of grandeur that some don’t care who gets elected? Lord, I hope not! But looking at the PAUL BERGE numbers, they don’t seem to care. Why do people feel it is something that makes no difference? I have yet to get an answer what makes believe it doesn’t matter about the ones that make some very important decisions on their behalf, possibly about them, definitely about their life. This lack of exercising a necessary

privilege and civic duty has to stop! This is 2016 when so many people are fighting for basic human and civil rights. I wonder how non-voters would feel about losing their right to vote. That awaits the $64,000,000 answer. People don’t realize not voting is tantamount to electing many of the wrong people. Many of today’s issues already prove that. I have hopes the November numbers will be a vast improvement. And for those of you who will continue to not vote, there is JUST NO EXCUSE. Shame on you! I leave you with the words of President Abraham Lincoln: “Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.” nn

Rev. Joel S. Slotnick is an ordained Interfaith minister and full time digital court reporter. He can be found on Facebook and followed on Twitter.

September 08, 2016

CREEP OF THE WEEK

Pamela Geller BY D’ANNE WITOWSKI

Anthony Weiner is gross. The former Congressman who resigned in disgrace after he was caught sharing photos of his crotch on social media is at it again. And this time one of the crotch shots includes his sleeping fouryear-old son in the bed next to him. While nobody is implying that Weiner has molested his son, this was still, quite understandably, too much for his wife, Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin, to bear. And so she’s separated from him. The logical conclusion? She’s a big ol’ lipstick lesbian hooking up with Hilldyke, obviously. At least that’s the conclusion of the anti-gay and anti-Muslim right, who have for years been floating the idea that Abedin, a Muslim, and Clinton are not-so-secret lovers. Pamela Geller is a particularly big fan of this Washington D.C. slash fiction plot. On her website Atlas Shrugs (get it? Because of how Ayn Rand is the lady version of Jesus), she has been posting about the Abedin-Clinton coupling since at least as far back as 2007. “Nothing has been confirmed,” Geller writes in a piece of brilliant commentary and hard-hitting journalism, “but this is as juicy as juicy gets in the sordid sex scandal department. Who’d a thunk that Hiillary could have out sex scandaled the old hound 18

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dog. Ouch!” And why does she care about this so much? Well, she hates the Clintons. And she hates Muslims. In fact, Geller is obsessed with Muslims. She’s the author of Stop the Islamization of America: A Practical Guide to the Resistance published by World Net Daily Books. No doubt this book is the only reason why America isn’t under Sharia law today. In her Aug. 29 post titled “Huma & Hillary Need New Beard,” Geller argues that Abedin only ever married Weiner in order to cover up her relationship with Clinton. Geller offers no evidence that this is true besides a bunch of whispers from right-wing and unnamed sources. But we know that in Right Wing Land, the path to fact is first wanting something to be true, then believing something to be true, then simply asserting that something is true. This sordid story about Weiner and Abedin and Abedin and Clinton is pretty much the climax of right-wing tropes. A perfect storm, if you will. An especially vile highlight from the Atlas Shrugs comments illustrates this perfectly: “A Saudi closeted lesbian marrying a pervy jew for a baby and power while sleeping with her boss and pushing Islam on everyone. Gee what could go wrong?!”

Anti-gay? Check. AntiMuslim? Check. Anti-semitic? Check. A little misogyny thrown in for good measure? Check. Thankfully, little by little, being called a lesbian is no longer the insult it once was. And this is thanks, in part, to political leaders like Clinton who have (finally) embraced LGBT Americans and are not afraid to stand by them. But as the right loses the battle against LGBT equality, it is ramping up its anti-Muslim hysteria. And, unfortunately, Abedin is their preferred target. Granted, the right has been pushing the idea that Clinton is a lesbian ever since she dared to wear a headband in public. So it’s not really a surprise that they’re asserting the same thing about Abedin who has been working with Clinton since forever. That both women have cheating husbands is just more “proof” of this theory, somehow. I mean, why else would they stay with these men unless, of course, they are power hungry lesbians? It’s a charge that many powerful women have had to contend with. For one thing, it’s the greatest “insult” that can be thrown at a woman who dares to be “like a man,” i.e. who dares to assert control over her own life, be smart as fuck, and smash the shit out of the glass ceiling. nn

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OPINION

WHO IS? Pamela Geller An American political activist and commentator. She is a prominent activist for the Counter-jihad movement in the United States, known for her opposition to the proposed construction of an Islamic community center and mosque near the former site of the World Trade Center. She says her blogging and campaigns in the United States are against what she terms “creeping Sharia” in the country. Multiple groups have described her as Islamophobic. She is currently the president of the American Freedom Defense Initiative which she co-founded with Robert Spencer.The American Freedom Defense Initiative has been designated an antiMuslim hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. The British government barred Geller’s entry into the UK in 2013 saying her presence would “not be conducive to the public good.” She and Spencer co-authored the book The Post-American Presidency: The Obama Administration’s War on America in 2010. The Huffington Post has called her “far right,” while others, such as the BBC, contrast her right-wing support for small government with her culturally liberal positions on abortion and same sex marriage. nn –Kevin Broady

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September 08, 2016

n n n n n

CAPITOL BEAT

Surprise!

Things Are Happening That Don’t Involve That Dreadful Man Kate and Helen Richardson-Walsh

This may come as a surprise to anyone reading or watching mainstream media but there are actually other things happening in the world, and even in the U.S., that don’t involve what we’d call in my country (Great Britain), That Dreadful Man. Even though in any given edition of The Washington Post, there aren’t enough fingers on both hands to count the BY number of LINDA headlines with PENTZ the Dreadful’s name in them, there are other stories sneaking quietly into the news that should give us more cheer and should be getting more prominence. Inside a recent Post story about gay Democratic Senate candidate, Jim Gray of Kentucky, was an important paragraph: “There are seven openly gay or bisexual members of Congress: six in the House and one in the Senate. Nine more LGBT Democrats, including Gray, are hoping to join their ranks next year, along with a few openly gay Republicans.” 20

September 08, 2016

LGBT watchdog groups predict three as likely winners. Equally significantly, Gray’s sexuality is apparently a nonissue in Kim Davis’s Kentucky, although this may in part be due to the fact that he rarely addresses LGBT issues and that he is running against a heavily favored Republican incumbent, Rand Paul. A long-overdue Post feature piece also just appeared on Ruby Corado, founder of Casa Ruby in northwest Washington DC (and subject of a future column here). Corado is a transgender activist who fled El Salvador and who subsequently opened a refuge, services and programs for homeless and other vulnerable members of the LGBT community. At a DC event shortly after the Pulse murders, Corado said: “Did you see how many events around violence we have held this week? It’s probably more than I remember in the last four years. So do not stop the momentum. And become engaged.” She went on to provide a laundry list of local LGBT issues the audience could get behind. Change is coming, as long as we all keep pushing. In a country notoriously tough on LGBT and other minorities, Brazil cel-

ebrated an Olympic gold medal in judo won by Rafaela Silva, a 24-year old product of the favela slums, (which were not featured in NBC’s “beauty shots” during the Rio broadcasts.) Silva has survived deprivations and cruel racial slurs but had the courage not only to withstand that and win gold, but to go public about her girlfriend, Thamara Cezar, after her Olympic victory. After NBC was criticized for not showing British diver Tom Daley’s fiance, Dustin Lance Black, during and after his synchronized diving bronze medal performance, the camera went constantly to Black while Daley competed in the individual event. (Now that’s what I would call a beauty shot.) A married couple won a gold medal in Field Hockey at the Games — the first since 1900 — and they were a gay couple! But British field hockey champions Kate and Helen RichardsonWalsh didn’t make much news here because, well, they weren’t Americans. And they were women. And lesbians. Three strikes against. (They appeared in articles in Agenda on 8/5/2016 and 8/28/2016.) For sure, many extremely

serious problems remain to be confronted and overcome: trans women of color, in particular, continue to be murdered and brutalized, not only in countries hostile to the LGBT community, but right here in the U.S. States continue to push back against federal laws that protect LGBT people. The Dreadful Man as 45th President of the United States would bode very ill for minorities in every walk of life. When a Google News headline this week actually announced that “Kim Kardashian oils her butt” — really? no, really? — we could legitimately assume that the apocalypse is upon us. The article probably got more hits in the U.S. than Aleppo Boy. But amidst the hate and the Dreadful Man and the trivia overkill, good things were happening. They should not have to be subsumed by Kardashianalia. Let’s keep pushing to hear about the positive side of humanity. It’s our only hope for a sane world. nn Linda Pentz is the Washington correspondent of the Florida Agenda. She can be contacted at lindapentz@ mmplgbt.com. Follow her on Twitter @CapitolAgenda

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September 08, 2016

FITNESS

n n n n n BY TOM BONANTI

KEEP THAT GYM BAG PACKED AND HANDY.

Even if you’re not planning to work out, take a packed gym bag to work and leave it in your car. If the spirit moves you, you won’t have to bother going home and risk wasting time. All you have to do is clear out after work and head straight to the gym.

KEEP YOUR ROUTINE VARIED.

How to Maximize Your Time at the Gym n Do you ever put off going to the gym, or just skip it altogether because it simply won’t fit into your schedule? Do you start the day with the best of intentions, but when it comes right down to it, you’re too exhausted or too distracted to even think treadmills or dumbbells? You just might be making the whole process of exercise and fitness too complicated. Working out should be a blast, exhilarating, an event to look forward to! Here’s a list of fun, snappy suggestions that’ll not only make it easier for you to get to the gym; they’ll also help you make the most of every precious second you’re there! 22

September 08, 2016

If you’re bored with the “same old, same old,” then it’s time to implement some changes into your fitness regime. Opt for taking a refreshing swim in the summer months. Sign up for some classes with other “fitness minded” people. Try out new pieces of equipment. Invest in a personal trainer to help you chart new goals. Most gyms even offer complimentary sessions with an instructor to help you become acclimated.

DON’T WASTE TIME.

Once you get to the gym, make the most of every moment you’re there. Instead of just hopping on a treadmill, setting it for 30 minutes, and staying there for the duration, mix it up by taking some light dumbbells on board for arm curls and

shoulder raises. Cardio is super, but combining it with weight training will maximize your workout to make you stronger and leaner. When you’re lifting weights, it’s important to break between sets, but no more than 20-30 seconds, tops! Make the most of rest times by stretching, drinking water, or even doing lunges around the gym as you’re waiting for equipment to become free.

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU’RE WEARING.

If you plod around the gym in the same old shabby sneakers, baggy sweatpants, and tattered T shirt, chances are you’ll soon feel just as frumpy as you look. Treat yourself to some new workout gear – color coordinated, nicely fitted shorts and tops, and a new pair of cross-trainers – you’ll be delighted in the difference, not just in your confidence, but also in the quality of your work outs.

MUSIC MAKES A DIFFERENCE.

Gym radio stations and music channels on the TV’s can really get tedious or even annoying. Create your own playlist that’ll keep you energized and happy. Try different kinds of music as you circuit train with weights, churn out the cardio, or while you’re cooling off. If you’re not a fan of music, down load an audio book or the latest episodes of Game of Thrones or The Get Down to help you burn calories on the elliptical or treadmill. Your workout time is an essential part of your life. Make it a celebratory event that is healthy, fun, and productive. No more complications. No more excuses. Just do it! nn

ABOUT TOM Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and licensed massage therapist (MA#40288) with his own one on one personal training gym and massage studio www.pumpnincgym. com at 1271 NE 9th Avenue, Ft. Lauderdale, Fl. 33304. Contact trainertomb@aol.com with questions or call Tom (954) 557-1119 to set up a free fitness consultation today!

September 08, 2016

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YOUR LIFE: AN OWNER’S MANUAL

Faith vs. Fear

We all tend to worry about certain situations in our life. We tell our friends how we are fearful that something is going to happen and it often causes us not to be able to focus on anything else. Did you realize that faith and fear ask us to do the same thing? They both ask us to believe BY in something JAMES that may MILLER or may not happen. In which direction do you turn your internal gaze--towards faith or fear? In my previous article I discussed catastrophizing and how that causes us to spin out of control with fear, believing our worst-case scenario is going to happen. Unfortunately, in most

situations, our default thinking pattern is to focus on the negative and listen to that voice of fear. Ironically, most of the fears we worry about are situations we’ve dealt with in the past and we’ve not previously suffered from the outcome. In fact, some of those worries that did come true, have launched us into our life’s purpose. Faith is one of the most powerful attributes we can possess, but remember, it does not have to be religious. Think about it. Faith is essentially the essence of things we hope for, but the evidence is not yet there. We hope for something to come true and feelings of elation and euphoria saturate our mind as we dream about what will happen and the positive outcome we are expecting. Conversely, when we fantasize about things we fear will happen, it fills us with dread, worry, doubt, and hopelessness.

Logically, it is amazing that we would willingly choose to fill ourselves with those negative emotions when we have the choice to direct our attention to faith instead of fear. Often people ask how to focus on the voice of faith. Remember, you already have so much data inside of you. You’ve experienced similar situations before and you overcame it. One thing people often do is they expect the worst because they’ve experienced negative things before. But remember if you isolate an event then of course its going to be negative, but look at the event like a movie scene. Play it out. It may have stung initially, but it opened up a bigger and a better opportunity later. Even if your current situation doesn’t end the way you want it to you have to have faith that it will all work together in a beautiful tapestry of your life, and it will. Think of

this fun example, you can’t have chocolate chip cookies without having each of the ingredients added in. Some of those ingredients, by themselves, are bitter, but when they are mixed together you have a tasty cookie. It wouldn’t be that good without some of those bitter ingredients (moments). Faith will always sustain you. It will remind you that in your life, the highs and lows, are all part of something bigger than what you can see. When you remember that you are in control of your thoughts and emotions, it puts the responsibility back on you to decide in which direction, faith or fear, will you focus. You have the ability to fill yourself with hope, joy, and happiness when you focus on faith. Conversely, you have the ability to fill yourself with doubt, worry, and dread by listening to fear. Which do you choose? nn

James Miller is a licensed psychotherapist and a piano composer who is known for his weekly podcast, YouTube channel, and his Academy where he teaches successful people to simplify and transform their lives. James’ latest album, Restoration, is available for purchase on all digital music stores. www.JamesMillerLifeology.com 24

September 08, 2016

NUTRITION AFTER 35

n n n n n BY ANDY KRESS

New Study:

Diet Drinks Aren’t So Bad After All

Water, water, water! Every nutritionist, fitness enthusiast and dietician will tell you water is the best ingredient for any weight loss program. And since the body is made up of 70% of the stuff, this would only come as a natural answer. Yet, as wonderful as water is, it is also very tasteless to the palate, hindering its appeal. This bland taste makes it a tough sell for most people who need to consume about 100 ounces of it per day. There is still hope for those of us who need a bit of flavor in our liquids. New studies have recently shown that using a lowcalorie sweetened drink may increase weight loss, more than just using water alone. Conducted by researchers at Philadelphia’s Temple University and Denver’s University of Colorado, the 12-week study was a randomized-controlled trial (RCT), which is the most respected and robust study design in research. The study compared one group of people who drank at least 24 ounces of low-calorie sweetened bever26

September 08, 2016

ages each day and another group who drank at least 24 ounces of water, and no beverages with low-calorie sweeteners. Both groups participated in the same weight loss intervention program, and both had similar physical activity levels. The results of the study, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, revealed that on average, participants drinking the diet beverages lost 13 pounds over the 12-week period, compared to only nine pounds by those in the water group. Additionally, participants drinking diet beverages reported being less hungry and even reduced their total and LDL cholesterol more than the participants who did not consume the diet drinks. Lowering your LDL cholesterol levels can have a positive impact on keeping away those unwanted pounds. Feeling less hungry during days of diminished calories as you strive to hit your goal weight is a huge bonus. Sign me and all my fitness clients up please! Who doesn’t love to be sati-

ated throughout the day? Being hungry throughout the day is what probably packed on those extra pounds in the first place. But to be able to cure your hunger and increase your weight loss with just a few sips from a low-calorie sweetened beverage may sound too easy. Never forget, however, that water is still one of your best friends between each of those low-calorie sweetened beverages. Also keeping an active life style is important no matter what you’re drinking, and especially important for those who are trying to shed a few extra inches along the way. Be sure to incorporate exercise, or an active hobby into your weekly routine. All types of lifestyles need movement--even more so as we age. Staying completely hydrated throughout life will also aid in decreasing wrinkles and will keep everyone trying to guess your age. Throw in a wellbalanced diet along with your moderate low-calorie sweetened beverage consumption and you are on a roll. Remember, good fuel gets good results.

You may remember that previous studies have suggested the artificial sweeteners were bad for the body, leading to excess belly fat. Those studies, however, were done on rats, and featured far more artificial sweetener than any one person is likely to ever consume. Just like everything in life, please use low-calorie sweeteners in moderation. Now that you have heard the good news, add a little flavor into your life, your taste buds will thank you, right along with your waistline. So lets drink up, be merry and add some lowcalorie sweetener to it.

Andy Kress is a massage therapist, fitness trainer and nutritional specialist and is the co-author of the bestselling Baby Boomers’ Guide to the Fountain of Youth available at Amazon. com. His column on “Nutrition After 35” will be a bi-weekly feature in Agenda. He can be reached at andyfitnesstrainer@ gmail.com.nn

September 08, 2016

THE FRIVOLIST

n n n n n BY MIKEY ROX

Things You Need to Do If Someone You Love Is Deeply Depressed

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. As someone who has experienced the devastation of suicide in mourning the loss of friends who have taken their own lives, it’s important to me to recognize this annual awareness campaign. In addition, like many of you, I’ve battled with my own demons and depression over the years, which has included suicidal thoughts. While no one can or should tell another how to think or feel, it’s critical to remember, however – especially in down times – that suicide is preventable. Someone loves and misses you this very moment, and help is available – whether you believe that or not. Furthermore, if you know someone who is deeply depressed because you’ve recognized the warning signs, it’s your humanitarian responsibility to reach out and offer an ear that will listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold. Here are a few other ways to help.

September 08, 2016

Educate Yourself on Depression While you may be able to spot signs of depression in a loved one, are you confident that you’re well informed on the matter? Depression is a tricky and sensitive disorder, and it will benefit both you and the person suffering from depression if you educate yourself on the potential causes and effects. For instance, onset of depression may be triggered by a specific event or a series of events, like a string of bad luck, and it also may be linked to a brain-chemistry imbalance not connected to an event, according to Psychology Today. Thus, knowing what you’re dealing with before entering the trenches is recommended. Show You Care By Asking Questions When we’re depressed, we experience feelings of loneliness or perhaps that no one cares about our predicament. But that’s not the case. In fact, friends and family are often eager to help those who are depressed, and one of the first steps to showing your support in your loved one’s time of need is to ask questions. “Your friend may be so desperate that she’s had a suicide plan in action for weeks, or she could just be under a lot of stress at work,” writes Therese Borchard at EverydayHealth.com. “She could be having a severe episode of major depression, or just need a little more vitamin D. You won’t know until you start asking some questions.” nWhen did you first start to feel bad? nCan you think of anything that may have triggered it? nDo you have suicidal thoughts? nIs there anything that makes you feel better? nAre you deficient in vitamin D? nHave you made changes to your diet? nAre you under pressure at work? nHave you had your thyroid levels checked?

Provide Support Without Judgment The last thing someone who’s already at their lowest needs is to be judged for how they’re feeling or acting. Dealing with a depressed person is not always

easy, granted – they’re irritable and sometimes lash out – but it’s in those moments that you should try to put yourself in their shoes. You don’t know what’s going through their head, what stresses they’re facing that brought them to this breaking point, or the painful physical manifestation of depression they may be experiencing. So, just be there for them – without any restrictions or conditions. Let them talk, vent, cry if they need to – all the while being a soothing, reassuring voice and pillar of strength to which they can cling.

Suggest Seeking a Professional While providing nonjudgmental support is critical to someone who is depressed, you should together recognize that you, as a friend and likely nonmedical professional, can only do so much. If the depression is mild to severe – that is, it’s more than just a “bad week” – suggest seeking professional help. Ask family and friends for psychologist and psychiatrist recommendations – while being considerate to the person in need by keeping them anonymous – and return with those recommendations and your availability to accompany your loved one to the first appointment, if they’re open to the idea. Take Matters Into Your Own Hands If your loved one’s depression is so severe that you’re afraid they may do something drastic, like commit suicide, you have every right to step in and call the proper authorities. Your friend or family member may not like you very much at that moment – in fact, you may become mortal enemy No. 1 for a while – but when the depression is properly treated and that black cloud dissipates, they will recognize that you were acting purely out love and concern and in their best interest. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for advice at 800-273-8255, but if it’s an emergency situation dial 911. nn

September 08, 2016

n n n n

“Aww thank you”

PUZZLE

Across

1 Knight in the saga of Moff Mors 5 Put your rear in gear 9 Bring shame to 14 Early AIDS play 15 Hot stuff that gets shot off 16 The Wizard of Oz producer Mervyn 17 Character played by 10Down 19 Story about busting some Trojans 20 Dig it 21 Remove a slip, perhaps 22 Danes of Romeo & Juliet 23 “People” person 25 Future queen of Star Wars 27 Start of a legal conclusion 30 Like Beauty and the Beast 34 Like Oscar of The Odd Couple 37 Direction for seamen 39 Achilles’ weak spot 40 Sheltered on the sea 41 Growing Up Gay in the South author James 42 ___ Upon a Mattress 43 Glenn’s Fatal Attraction character 44 Hathaway of Brokeback Mountain 45 Check out, in a fitting room 46 Book about autoeroticism? 48 Megan’s Will & Grace character 50 Comedian Johnson 52 Britten’s Billy Budd and others 56 Soup scoop 59 Pasolini’s sweet 62 Eighth mo. for Caesar 63 On the other hand 64 Disney series with 10Down 66 He comes once a year 67 Land of Sinead O’Connor 68 Chance beginning 69 Deuce toppers 70 Like a generation, to Stein 71 Singer Fure 30

September 08, 2016

Down 1 Father in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat 2 Former NFL player Tuaolo 3 Tool for cutting carrots 4 Expert ending 5 Pansies and similar groups 6 Chloe’s role in Boys Don’t Cry 7 Plumb, and others 8 O’Keeffe’s stand 9 Cher’s portrayer in Clueless 10 Actress who just came out and tweeted “Aww thank you...” to supportive fans 11 Aida solo 12 Fly like an eagle 13 London park name 18 Herman of Hello Dolly fame 24 Orientation of 10-Down 26 Screws up 28 World War II carbine 29 Do an Oscar winner’s job 31 Start of a selection process 32 Style of many South Beach buildings 33 Narrow valley 34 Way to address a dominatrix 35 Scat queen 36 In view 38 Part of San Francisco’s BART 41 Highsmith’s The Price of ___ 45 Erection on the Great Plains, once 47 Spartacus venues 49 Type of man in an Elton John song 51 Ford flub 53 Turner that goes either way 54 Penetrating 55 Ire. patron 56 Bringing up the rear 57 Mold medium 58 Hamlet, for one 60 John Goodman’s Normal, ___ 61Gay Cosmos author Eighner 65 IRA increaser

For the solution to this puzzle go to: floridaagenda.com/puzzle

THE SECRET RECIPE

Cava Grill’s HOMEMADE HUMMUS

Hummus is an ancient Egyptian dip traditionally scooped up with heated pita bread. In America, backyarders have been known to use corn chips. Do not be tempted. This appetizer makes an excellent addition to any festive meal, high in protein and rich in history. Ingredients: 4 garlic cloves 1 15.5-ounce can shelled chickpeas, drained with 2 Tbsp liquid reserved (see note) 1 tsp salt 2 to 3 Tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice 2 Tbsp tahini Hot sauce, to taste Directions: In a food processor, mince the garlic. Add the shelled chickpeas, reserved liquid, salt, lemon juice, tahini, and hot sauce. Puree until smooth. Season with more salt, if needed. Note from Chef Dimitri: “To achieve really smooth, creamy hummus, you should shell the chickpeas before putting them in a food processor. In this case, we’re using canned chickpeas. To shell, simply go through the chickpeas and pinch each one to slide the outer shell off,” Chef says. Cava Grill is Washington, DC’s most illustrious chain of restaurants for those wanted to experience the true joy of Greek and Mediterranean cooking. Here we present founding chef Dimitri Moshovitis’s own recipe for his classic dip.

September 08, 2016

ENTERTAINMENT

DOLLY PARTON Eleven Minutes with the Queen of Country on inspiring gay family members to come out, her LGBT kinship and ‘queer’ introduction.

here are no angel wings. Instead, Dolly Parton scoots into a drab backstage garage on her own two legs like a unicorn dream: knee-length canary yellow dress, rhinestones, more rhinestones, and a glow that can apparently turn even an industrial underground into heaven on earth. But something’s off. Something is missing. Angel wings, I think. Which, of course, you expect from a beaming Dolly Parton, even as she literally just stands in front of you. Her presence alone radiates her own healing power as she greets a mishmash of fans one by one, all of them basking in her shine. Moms, dads, kids. An elderly woman in a wheelchair. Me, a gay man. This woman – a country queen, a “backwoods Barbie,” the self-proclaimed fairy godmother – has united us all merely by existing. And if it wasn’t already evident, it certainly is in her midst: Dolly Parton is the only religion we may ever agree on. For over two transcendent hours during her Pure & Simple tour, in support of her 43rd studio album of the same name, the Goddess of Goodness emerges as something too precious for this world. During her song “Little Sparrow,” the stage goes dark as screened-in birds take to the sky alongside Dolly’s silhouette – or, in this case, the Grand Rapids, Michigan arena she was setting aglow. Add “bird whisperer” to the long list of Dolly’s accomplishments, which is seemingly endless: 100 million albums sold worldwide; 25 certified gold, platinum and multi-platinum awards; 25 No. 1 songs on the Billboard Country charts, a record for a female artist; seven Grammy awards and 10 Country Music Association awards; one of only five female artists to win the CMA’s Entertainer of the Year Award; an Oscar nomination for writing the title song to one of her many films, 9 to 5, and obviously, a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. An angel, though? Parton demurs. “I don’t know if I’d go that far! I don’t think I’m all that!” she says, as humbly as you’d expect, laughing the squeakiest of laughs. Our 11-minute chat is peppered with that trademark Dolly charm (I conclude the interview by thanking her for bringing joy to my life and she responds like my mother: “Love you too!”). And yes, 11 minutes. “I don’t know where you got that odd number,” she squeaks again in her godly Southern accent, acknowledging the bonus minute her manager, Danny Nozell, has graciously given us. “He’s saying you’re getting a li’l something extra!” Read on as Dolly blesses us with an extra 60 seconds of divinity, along with a look back on her introduction to the gay community, that time she may have gotten a contact buzz from Willie Nelson’s grass and, like any paragon of virtue, helping p her own family members come to terms with their sexuality. September 08, 2016

CELEBRITY FEATURE

n n n n n BY CHRIS AZZOPARDI

Growing up in the Great Smoky Mountains, did you know any gay people? If I did, I didn’t know they were at the time! (Laughs) We were just mountain people, and I did not know at that time – I sure did not.

What was your introduction to the gay community then? As I started to be a teenager there were a couple of guys downtown that everybody was sayin’ were queer, ya know? I know they often said that about anybody who was odd or different – “they’re just queer, just strange and odd” – but the way they would talk about these two guys they would say, “Well, they’re sissies, they’re girls.” I was a teenager then. But in my early days we did not know (what gay was). It didn’t take me long to know that people were different and that was always fine with me ’cause I was different too, and I embraced and accepted them and I knew them. I knew them well. But no, in my early days I did not know. But I know a lot of them now! I have a huge gay and lesbian following and I’m proud of ’em, I love ’em and I think everybody should be themselves and be allowed to be themselves whoever they are, whatever they are. How big is your gay circle these days? You know what, I have so many (gay) people in my companies. And later on, I did find out I have many gays and lesbians in my own family. We accept them, we embrace them. Oh, there are some in the mountains who still don’t know quite what to make of it or how they should feel about it, but they’re ours and they’re who they are and we know they’re wonderful and they’re like us. We love the fact that they are who they are and we nurture that. We don’t try to make them feel separate or different. We embrace it. 34

September 08, 2016

Because you’ve always been so LGBT-affirming, are you a safe place for them to open up about their sexuality? Yes! Actually, I’ve had many people through the years who I have helped to feel good about themselves. I say, “You need to let people know who you are and you need to come on out. You don’t need to live your life in darkness – what’s the point in that? You’re never gonna be happy; you’re gonna be sick. You’re not gonna be healthy if you try to suppress your feelings and who you are.” I have a couple of transgender people in my company who are on salary with me, so I am totally open for that. And a lot of people feel like they can come to me… and they do! Whether it’s about being gay or whatever, a lot of people do me like they used to do my mama and come to talk to me about things. Hopefully I’m able to help. I think I have. When were you first aware of transgender people? I remember watching the news when I was a girl and they (were talking about the) first operation that somebody had. That’s the first time I ever heard about that, and so that was many, many years ago. But yeah, I’ve known a lot since then, though. Throughout your career, gay people have leaned on you for musical moral support while also absorbing your sage wisdom. But what have you learned from the gay people in your life? I certainly know that the gay people I know are the most sensitive and most caring of all. I think they go through so much that they have to live with their feelings on their sleeve. They’ve had to go through so much that I think they’re very emotional and tenderhearted and more open to feelings, so I’ve just learned the same things I try to learn from everybody. I know they’re good

ENTERTAINMENT people and I’ve tried to learn from that as well. They’re very creative, most of them. And I think that also comes from just embracing the fact that they’re different. Most of the gays I know just want to make the world a more beautiful place like I do. After 50 years of marriage, what inspired your new selfproclaimed “friends with benefits” song, “Outside Your Door”? Well, I’m married, but I’m not dead! I’m a romantic, fantasy person and I’ve felt all of those feelings. I’ve been through everything in my life. And when I don’t write about myself, I write about other people that I know and their relationships, and people I know who don’t know how to express themselves. So I gather my ideas from everything. And hell, you don’t get too old to fantasize! There’s a 20-minute intermission during your Pure & Simple show. What do you do for those 20 minutes? It takes every bit of my time! I fly back to my bus right after intermission, and I go back and I change. I take a little breather to cool off for a minute, and then I change clothes – that’s the only change I do (during the show). Then, I change my hair, change my wig, and I touch up my makeup. And by the time I’m done with all that it’s time to go back on. What if you have to pee? Oh, I take a pee break and drink a little bit of water. But yeah, it’s just a pee and pray break! (Laughs) You jokingly mentioned during the show that you should run for president. Say you were elected – what would be your first order of business? I would just resign! That’d be my first order if I got elected –

I’d say, “No, I don’t want it, I don’t want it!” (Laughs) But no, I don’t know what I’d do. I don’t even think on those terms. I’d make this world a better place, I’ll tell you that. During the show you hysterically joked about how you could get a contact buzz from Willie Nelson’s tour bus. Where do you get your sense of humor and sharp wit? Oh, that comes from both sides of my family. My mama’s people were hysterical; my daddy’s people were hysterical. They just had a different sense of humor, and that’s how we got through everything, with our sense of humor. And as a writer I just think funny. I try to find things to laugh about and so anyway, I just say whatever I say. What’s the closest you’ve gotten to Willie and his weed? Oh, I know Willie really well! I sang with him on my last album.

We did a duet together called “From Here to the Moon and Back” and I was singing – well, I was trying to sing and I said, “Willie, I’ll tell you, you’re the worst person I ever tried to sing with. I mean, you’re brazen! I can’t keep up with you! I’mma need a sack of your grass! I’mma need something!” But he laughed so hard. But anyway, I love him, but he’s Willie and that’s OK. He smoked in the studio with you there is what you’re saying? Oh, yeah! Willie smokes at the drop of a hat! I probably had a contact high from that too! You’ve been singing “I Will Always Love You” since the early ’70s. What does that song mean to you now that it didn’t mean to you when you first wrote it? Well, you appreciate things more as you get older. That song is just the gift that keeps on giving. It’s always getting licens-

ing in my publishing company; somebody’s recorded it and we’re signing off on that. And so the fact that people are always calling me and always wanting rights for (the song for) a wedding – I actually rewrote it as a wedding song; it makes a beautiful song – it just makes me appreciate the fact that I’ve been able to write something that’s been that meaningful to so many people through the years. So, it does touch me. And it turned out to be the perfect song to sing to my fans – it’s the song I like to dedicate to the fans. Not the sad parts, but the good parts – especially the line of, “I will always love you” for letting me do this. Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. He can proudly say Mariah Carey once called him a “daaahhhling.” Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi). nn September 08, 2016

nevents

nnightlife

n DONOVAN

THURSDAY 9/08 @ 8:00PM Parker Playhouse 1960s folk superstar Donovan rivaled both The Beatles and Bob Dylan in crafting hummable British pop/folk songs such as “Catch the Wind,” “Colours,” “Universal Soldier,” and “Mellow Yellow.” His most successful song “Sunshine Superman” reached the top of America’s Billboard Hot 100 chart, although the oft-used-in-films “Season of the Witch” may be his most iconic. He is celebrating his 50th year in the music business with this, the “Sunshine Superman Tour,” which will include a retrospective of his greatest hits, along with brand new single “One English Summer.” 8:00 p.m. Parker Playhouse. 707 NE Eighth St. Fort Lauderdale. 33304.

n INVASION OF PRIVACY

FRIDAY 9/09 @ 8:00PM The Abyss Stage and Studio Pigs Do Fly Productions presents a production of Larry Parr’s new play Invasion of Privacy. The story revolves around the lawsuit brought against Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Marjorie Kinnan Rawlins (The Yearling) by her neighbor Zelma Cason. Cason believes that Rawlins’ novel Cross Creek contains a character based upon her. To make matters worse, the character in the novel is portrayed as a “hussy,” so Cason sues for invasion of privacy. The lawsuit made “invasion of privacy” a popular grounds for a lawsuit. 8:00 p.m. The Abyss Stage and Studio. 2304 N. Dixie Highway. Wilton Manors. 33305.

FLUME

FRIDAY 9/09 @ 8:00PM Fillmore Fresh from performing at popular music festivals like Lollapalooza in Chicago, Flume makes his way to Miami to perform at the Fillmore. The Syndey-based electronic producer and DJ has remixed some of the most popular artists today, including Lorde, Sam Smith, and Justin Timberlake. His debut selftitled album was a big success in Australia and New Zealand, with the lead single “Holdin On” receiving an ARIA Music Award for Best Dance Release. Flume recently released his sophomore album Skin, which features the single “Say It.” Hermitude opens. 8:00 p.m. Fillmore. 1700 Washington Ave. Miami Beach. 33139. 36

September 08, 2016

ntheatre

MIRANDA LAMBERT

SATURDAY 9/10 @ 7:30PM Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre Country music goddess, prior finalist of Nashville Star, and proud owner of a handgun license brings her protective (albeit violent) charms to Fort Lauderdale. Miranda Lambert burst on the scene in 2003 and has since had several commercially and critically successful albums. She also married country music star Blake Shelton before very publically splitting up with him last year. Her new single “Vice” details her emotions on that split. Kip Moore and the Brothers Osbourne will appear with Lambert. 7:30 p.m. Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre. 601-7 Sansburys Way. West Palm Beach. 33411.

n NOTORIOUS

SATURDAY 9/10 @ 7:30PM Broward Center for the Performing Arts WLRN Radio Theater presents a radio-play version of Hitchcock’s classic allegory Notorious. The plot revolves around Alicia Huberman, the American daughter of a convicted Nazi spy, who must infiltrate an organization of Nazis in Brazil. She falls in love with her recruiter, T.R. Devlin, before being instructed to seduce one of her father’s friends. From there, Alicia must negotiate both her patriotic duties with her budding feelings for Devlin. The film is known for being one of Hitchcock’s greatest films and a turning point in his artistic maturity. 7:30 p.m. Broward Center for the Performing Arts. 201 SW 5th Ave. Fort Lauderdale. 33312.

DEON COLE

SUNDAY 9/11 @ 8:00PM Fort Lauderdale Improv American comic and comedy writer Deon Cole has seen his star worth rise in the past few years. As part of the writing staff of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien and Conan, Cole received two Emmy nominations. Although his short-lived 2013 TBS show Deon Cole’s Black Box failed to see a second season, Cole has maintained a thriving career. He has recently performed stand-up on shows like Mash Up and Lopez Tonight and even has a part in the new sitcom Blackish. 8:00 p.m. Fort Lauderdale Improv. 5700 Seminole Way. Hollywood. 33314.

By Patrick Robert

T he Week entertainment calendar

nexhibits n BREW HOUSE ROCK

MONDAY 9/12 @ 8:00PM Concrete Beach Brewery Since craft beer has taken America by storm, foodies and beer aficionados alike have become more interested in the various differences between beers. Brew House Rock is a monthly educational series which caters to those looking for deeper knowledge and appreciation for craft beer. Tonight’s program, Tasting Freedom-American Styles, features Social Hall Manager Jesse Morris discussing American styles of beer and their influence on modern beer drink. The evening includes beer tastings. 8:00 p.m. Concrete Beach Brewery. 325 Northwest 24th St. Miami. 33127.

LEON BRIDGES

BRIAN WILSON

TUESDAY 9/13 @ 8:00AM Fillmore Gospel and soul singer Leon Bridges has been setting the music industry aflame since the release of his debut album Coming Home in 2015. That album received both critical and commercial success, mostly off of the strength of the title track. Bridges is fond of retro style and music, known for both his suave voice and his fashionable attire of mostly suits. That style was on full display last December when he performed on the television institution Saturday Night Live. Some of his most popular songs include “Smooth Sailin’,” “Better Man,” and “River.” La Havas opens. 8:00 p.m. Fillmore. 1700 Washington Ave. Miami Beach. 33139.

WEDNESDAY 9/14 @ 8:00PM Hard Rock Live Legendary singer songwriter Brian Wilson is known to be one of the greatest creative geniuses in music history. His innovative style led to more than two dozen Top 40 hits for his band the Beach Boys. His brilliant mind also led to multiple, infamous nervous breakdowns which severed his ties with the band for many years, a history chronicled in the newly released film Love and Mercy. Al Jardine and Blondie Chaplin join Wilson for a 50th anniversary celebration of the acclaimed Pet Sounds album. 8:00 p.m. Hard Rock Live. 5747 Seminole Way. Hollywood. 33314.

September 08, 2016

Market Place CONTACT NATIONAL SALES DIRECTOR, MAURA “MUMBALL” LANE AT 954-543-5947 OR MAURA@WIRLD.COM TO GET ON THE LIST.

ACCOUNTING

CHURCH / SPIRITUAL

Sterling Tax & Accounting 2435 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-667-9829 / sterlingandhart.com

EVENTS Source Events 605 Lincoln Road, #410 Miami Beach, FL 33139 305-672-9779 / sourceevents.com

Dean Trantalis Attorney 2255 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2226 / trantalislaw.com Ken Keechl Attorney 612 NE 26th St Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-1480 / kenkeechllaw.com

CHURCH / SPIRITUAL Center for Spiritual Living 1550 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2868 / cslftl.com Holy Angels Catholic Community 2917 NE 6th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33334 954-633-2987 / holyangelsfl.org Etz Chaim 2038 N Dixie Hwy Pride Ctr Bldg B Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-564-9232 / etzchaimflorida.org 38

September 08, 2016

HOME

Diana’s 12001 Avalon Lake Drive Orlando, FL 32828 407-207-0205 / dianasbakeryandcafe.com

Home Essentials 2212 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-651-7407 / wmhomeessentials.org

HEALTH

APPAREL

ATTORNEYS

FOOD / GROCERY

FITNESS Pump’n Inc Tom Bonanti 1271 NE 9th Avenue Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-557-1119 / pumpnincgym.com

FURNITURE

Acute Hearing & Balance 1881 NE 26th St, Suite 223 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-640-3200 Ocean Therapy Center 2530 NE 15th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-351-2299/oceantherapycenter.com

INCOME TAX Best Books and Taxes 2201 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-565-1041 / bestbooksandtaxes.com

INSURANCE Dunham Fort Lauderdale 2601 E Oakland Park Blvd, Suite 303 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 954-564-7772 / dunhamins.com We Insure 1975 E Sunrise Blvd, Suite 602 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-903-7519 / weinsurefl.com

MASSAGE SPA 11 Lic#MA75718 2000 E Oakland Park Blvd, Suite 103 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 954-945-5133 / spa11massage.com

MORTGAGE Donn Rubin 2810 E Oakland Park Suite 310 Fort Lauderdale FL 33306 954-557-3100 / drubin@PRMG.net

MUSIC Sell Us Your Records! We Buy Collections. 5130 N. Federal Hwy, Fort Lauderdale 954-671-9482 / wegotthebeats.biz

OPTICAL

UPHOLSTERY

Island City Eyecare 2301 Wilton Drive, Suite C1 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-764-6906 / visionsource-ice.com

ORGANIZATIONS The Pride Center 2040 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-463-9005 / pridecenterflorida.com Out of the Closet 2097 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-358-5580 / outofthecloset.org

PET AND HOUSESITTING Pauletteâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pet and Housesitting Caring Professional Excellent References 954-821-9682 / paulettechernoff@aol.com Foxy Paws Grooming 831 N Federal Hwy #E Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-524-2500 / foxypawsgrooming@gmail.com

REAL ESTATE Robert Geary MacKilligan on Las Olas Boulevard Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-234-8759 / rgmsell@aol.com Joe Grano Realtor 1881 NE 26th Street, Suite 212 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-931-0031 / joegrano.com Proudly serving the LGBT community since 2002

1400 E Oakland Pk Blvd Ste 201B Oakland Park FL 33334

WOLFE REAL ESTATE GROUP

Directly Across from LIPS Call us today!

954. 839. 8330

WolfeRealEstateGroup.com

September 08, 2016

SUMMER INCENTIVE—ONLY 3 REMAINING

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LUXURY VILLAS WITH OCEAN ACCESS

9'-0"

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FROM THE $600’S

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N.T.S. N.T.S.

Oral representations cannot be relied upon as correctly stating the representations of the developer, for correct representations, make reference to this brochure and to the documents required by section 718.503, Florida statutes, to be furnished by a developer to a buyer or lessee. Obtain the property report required by federal law and read it before signing anything. No federal agency has judged the merits of value, if any, of this property.

September 08, 2016

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