Guy Magazine #159 by Multi-Media Platforms

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14 Guys Night Out 28 Justin Jones 30 Happy Hours 32 Spotlight 34 Guy Dining 36 Adam & Ease 42 Guy Travel 44 Guy Tunes 46 Guy Nutrition 50 Love Jones 52 The Scene

inneapo Justin Jo lis writer nes Ph

oto by: T im Dav Styling is by: Bran don Mc Cray

Bobby Blair Publisher Kevin Hopper Associate Publisher Cliff Dunn Editor Jason Otero Creative Director Contributors Duncan St. Thibault, Tom Bonanti, Andy Kress, Adam Strong, Robert Elias Deaton, Richard David Chamberlain, Justin Jones, Grant James Editorial Photographers Dennis Dean, Stephen Kuttner, Ginger Milligan Art Department Niki Lopez Graphic Designer Sales Display Advertising sales@guymag.net - 954-380-8563 x2101 Keith Chamlee 954-380-8563 x2111 National Sales Rivendell Media National Ad Representatives 212-242-6863 Display Deadlines Ad Production Request: Wednesday, Noon Camera-Ready Ads: Friday, Noon Classifieds Deadlines Text Ad Placement: Thursday, Noon Classified Display Ad Production/Placement Request: Thursday, Noon Camera-Ready Classified Display Ad: Friday, Noon Media Board of Advisors Alan Beck, Keith Blackburn, Robert Boo, Reece Darham, Terry DeCarlo, Richard Hack, Kevin Hopper, Paul Hugo, Peter Jackson, Krishan Manners, Mark Negrete, Jackson Padgett, Gary Santis, Jason Tamanini, Brett Tannenbaum, Dean Trantalis, Victor Zepka Main Office 2435 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone 954-380-8563 Fax 954-380-8567 editor@guymag.net

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Wilton Manors World AIDS Day Candle Light Vigil November 30, 2012 Photos by GingerSnaps Photo

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Photos by GingerSnaps Photo

Bourbon Street Pub, Key West

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Photos by Alex Maxwell

November MMP Business Cocktail Mixer @ Village Pub

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Photos by Grant James

Bubble Gum Friday @ The Manor

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Photos by Stephen Kuttner

The Leather Masked Ball @ Boom

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UPCOMING EVENTS Celebrate the Holiday Season at the Kravis Center for the Performing Arts Kravis Center for the Performing Arts

o Wednesday, December 5 – 8 p.m.: Direct from Beijing: The National Circus of The People’s Republic of China Performing Cirque Chinois This elite group of acrobats continues to transform 2,000-year-old traditions of strength and concentration into a modern-day spectacle of entertainment and wonder. Defying nature with miracles of balance, grace and agility, the troupers flawlessly present an unforgettable performance infused with gripping circus skills, throbbing music, electrifying costumes, choreography and lighting that communicate in the universal language of thrills and fun. Alexander W. Dreyfoos, Jr. Concert Hall. Tickets start at $15 o Thursday, December 6 – 8 p.m.: Catskills on Broadway Starring Freddie Roman, Mal Z. Lawrence, Dick Capri & Vic Arnell Borsch Belt favorites bring you back to the golden years of the Catskills with an evening of good, oldfashioned humor that pays homage to the cradle of modern American comedy. “You’ll laugh till you hurt,” promises WABC-TV. Alexander W. Dreyfoos, Jr. Concert Hall. Tickets start at $15 o Thursday, Friday, Saturday, December 6-8 at 7:30 p.m.: Rennie Harris Guggenheim fellow and North Philadelphia native Dr. Rennie Harris is a pioneer in hip-hop dance culture and surviving senior member in the world of organized hip-hop dance theatre. Harris brings his high-impact dance company, Rennie Harris Puremovement (RHPM), to translate the energy and spirit of the street into an electrifying form of body language. This is dance theatre in the true spirit of hip-hop dance, blending poetry, popping, locking, House, and B-boying. RHPM is a true eye-opener to hip-hop dance theatre. Marshall E. Rinker, Sr. Playhouse. Tickets $28

o Friday, December 7 – 8 p.m.: The Irish Tenors Finbar Wright, Anthony Kearns, Ronan Tynan The ‘Premier Irish Holiday Celebration’ Tour With a selection of songs that span a century of great Irish music, The Irish Tenors offer a nostalgic, romantic view of Ireland’s musical heritage. The concert is an exhilarating mix of Irish airs, lullabies, love songs, anthems and holiday selections that reflect the tenors’ individual styles. Join us for an evening of wit, charm and music that is sure to please. Alexander W. Dreyfoos, Jr. Concert Hall. Tickets start at $25 o Saturday, December 8 – 8 p.m.: The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses Tour Based on one of the most popular and beloved video game series of all time, “The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses Tour” is a spectacular concert that features live orchestral performances of theme music from Nintendo’s The Legend of Zelda franchise. In unison with a giant screen above the orchestra displaying classic game play footage, the new four-movement symphony includes selections from “Ocarina of Time,” “Wind Waker,” “Twilight Princess,” “Majora’s Mask,” and “A Link to the Past.” A must-see for Zelda fans. Alexander W. Dreyfoos, Jr. Concert Hall. Tickets start at $25 o Monday, December 10 – 11 a.m. & 2 p.m.: The Kings of Swing The Kings of Swing is a live concert featuring the Kings of Swing Orchestra and presenting some of the best swing vocalists currently performing throughout Europe today. Celebrating the greatest hits of Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Dean Martin, Bobby Darin, Nat King Cole, Matt Munro and more recently, hits by Michael Bublé, Paolo Nutini, Brian Setzer and many more. Alexander W. Dreyfoos, Jr. Concert Hall. Tickets: $28 o Wednesday, December 12 – 7:30 p.m.: Jackie Evancho Live: Music of the Movies There’s something genuinely magical about Jackie Evancho, the 12-year-old crossover classical vocalist who has become a sensation through her appearances on PBS, YouTube and America’s Got Talent. With the release of her “O Holy Night” recording, she became the best-selling debut artist of 2010, the youngest Top 10 debut artist in U.S. history and the youngest solo artist ever to go platinum. In 2011, her album Dream With Me debuted on Billboard’s Top 200 chart at #2 and was certified Gold after only four weeks of release. Alexander W. Dreyfoos, Jr. Concert Hall. Tickets start at $50

| guy To magazine have your event listed, please email events@guymag.net

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Guilty Pleasures

A (Love) Jones for Justin Jones By CLIFF DUNN

first met Justin Jones in 2009 at The Manor Restaurant and Entertainment Complex in Wilton Manors. Although I was instantly struck by his physical charms (Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m only human), I realized within an instant that behind that classically-stunning face (and excellent fashion sense, the bitch) was a thoughtful, Ăźber-intelligent, sensitive, and witty young man who was just in the first flowering of his adulthood. (I know, I hated him, too.)

Photos by: Tim Davis magazine | guy Styling by: Brandon McCray

In all seriousness and sincerity, though, it is very easy to fall a little bit in love with Justin Jones, as I and his readers do twice each month in his column, “Love Jones.” Part autobiography, part third-person narrative of the feelings, follies, foibles, and fate of those who pursue love, happiness, security, and sex, “Love Jones” is a literary rollercoaster ride seen through the eyes of a gay 20-something. But in a way, that’s like calling the Grand Canyon a hole in the ground. For his readers, Justin displays—sometimes from the safety of a third-person perspective, but more often from inside the skin of a relatable, approachable, and all-too-vulnerable member of our (gay) human tribe, insecurities and dreams alike on display for your perusal, appreciation, caution, and—one hopes—sympathy. Of his coming out, Jones, 26, says “I was 18 months old. Story has it that I walked into my aunt’s country home, marveled at her antiques and said, ‘Oh, it’s soooo beautiful.’ They knew right away.” One of the things that makes Jones so approachable—I almost wrote “adorable”—is his willingness to share with readers the joys and pains of his experiences—in real time, as he goes through them. He finds the material for his stories all around him. “Ideas are everywhere,” he says. “I find nuggets of printable material in conversation with my friends and with strangers—especially with strangers.” Justin describes his first true love as “my Him, my god—I worshipped the guy! I was also 19 years old and didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I did know, and I know now, that he gave me a shitload of stuff to write about. The ordeal lasted two years, and abuse ended it.” His muse can also be found “in the lyrics and melodies to music,” in “my somewhat sordid past,” and “through random observation—not long ago, and really quite randomly, I wrote a column about douching because I saw the word ‘colt’ written somewhere.” “Oh, and wine,” he acknowledges. “Wine is the best pen.” Over the last year, Jones’ readers experienced the highs and lows of his most recent relationship, from its flowering (Guy, March 29, 2012: “The Hook Up”), and its maturation (Guy, August 29, 2012: “That Awkward Moment When,” Guy, September 12, 2012: “Pretend”), to the bittersweet aftermath of its breakup (Guy, November 7, 2012: “The Heartbreak”).

He says he has gotten past the worst of it, offering this tantalizing message to an unnamed recipient: “I love you so hard. You know who you are.” (A lesser man might say, “Lucky bastard.” A lesser man.) He thinks that it’s easier today to be young and gay than when he was growing up. “Easier, with a caveat,” he amends. “Bullies take a different form in adulthood and there are, in my eyes, two segments of ‘adult bullies:’ hypocritical, full-ofshit politicians, and we ourselves. “Go to most gay bars and you’ll find judgment, cruelty, superficiality, and hurtful gossip,” Jones observes with regret. “Gay bars were once a place of safety—where our community found a second home, one that offered solace and protection.” This isn’t to say that the future doesn’t look bright to Jones. He says, “I don’t mean to force the cliché even further down everyone’s throats, but it’s true: It gets better.” The future looks pretty bright for Jones, too. The Minneapolis-based writer says he is doing now what he plans to be doing for the next 50 years. With a smile he says that in 10 years, “I’ll be 28. Oh, wait—I mean 36. Really, I’d love to find myself at a desk, still writing,” he says, with an eye to his heart, his future, and his place in both. guymag.net

happy hours BILL’S FILLING STATION 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour half-off drink prices from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., Monday through Friday, with an additional half-price “Bear Necessities” Happy Hour on Friday nights from Midnight to close. BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily, with 2-4-1 mixed drinks and brew. BOOM 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Half-priced drink Happy Hours Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Fridays and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., as well as $7 premium martinis all day long. CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Seven-day Happy Hour from 11 a.m. til 9:30 p.m., with $1.75 domestic drafts, $2.50 domestic bottles, $2.75 imports, $2.50 well drinks, $2.75 calls, $3 premiums, and $4.75 Jaeger shots. CUBBY HOLE 823 N Federal Hwy. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour with 2-4-1 drinks all day every day. THE DEPOT CABANA BAR AND GRILL 2935 N Federal Hwy. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour features half-price drinks Monday through Friday from 11:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. DAPUR ASIAN TAPAS & LOUNGE 1620 North Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour daily 5 to 8 p.m. $5 mojitos, margaritas, wine, and more. Special Happy Hour tapas menu starts at $4. DUDES ON THE BEACH 3270 NE 33rd St. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour features a seven day a week 2-4-1 special from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. GALANGA 2389 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy our daily from 5-7PM offering $5 martinis, $2 sake bombs, $4 imports and domestics, $5 house wines, and $5 appetizers and $10 entrees!

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Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

GEORGIE’S ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Friday. INFINITY LOUNGE 2184 WILTON DRIVE WILTON MANORS o Sexy, intimate cocktail lounge with everyday happy hour featuring 1/2 price drinks from 3 p.m. to 8 p.m. Specializing in fresh fruit concoctions, martinis and mojitos, with a great selection of beer and wine. JOHNNY’S CLUB, BAR, AND LOUNGE 1116 W Broward Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour runs seven days, Monday through Thursday from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Sundays from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., with varying drink specials depending the day, and discounted drinks starting at $4. THE MANOR RESTAURANT AND NIGHTCLUB 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Wednesday through Friday from 3-9 p.m. MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Saturday from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and a drink chip that’s good through 10 p.m.! MONA’S COCKTAIL LOUNGE (next to Lisa’s Backyard) 502 E Sunrise Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour is celebrated seven days a week from noon till 9 p.m., with $2.50 domestic beers and well drinks, and $1.25 drafts. MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs through 9 p.m., seven days, with drinks specials that average about $1-$1.50 off per mixed drink or brew. NAKED GRAPE WINE BAR 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o “Social Hour” from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., with $5 glasses of house wine, and $1 Barcelona Bites. On Thursdays, buy one flat bread or panini, get one 1/2 price. PINCHÉ TAQUERIA 2045 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o A NYC-by-way-of-Tijuana-transplant, offering great outdoor atmosphere and a daily 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Happy Hour with $4 well drinks, $5 Pinché margaritas, and $20 margarita pitchers, as well as half-priced appetizers from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m.

happy hours PJ’S CORNER POCKET 924 N Flagler Drive Fort Lauderdale o Monday through Friday Happy Hour with $1 off every drink, as well as an everyday five 7 oz. Bud Lights for $5 special. RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Fort Lauderdale’s oldest gay bar under the same ownership, a leather, Levis, and uniform bar with hot men and a 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily 2-4-1 Happy Hour (weekends included!). RODEO RESTAURANT AND BAR 2033 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o HALF PRICE on MARTINI MENU - Wednesdays 5:3010:30. HALF PRICE on SIGNATURE DRINKS - Thursdays 5:30-10:30. HUGE DISCOUNTS on ALL DRINKS - AFTER HOURS Fridays and Saturdays from 10:00 p.m. until close. 25% off all drinks for IN THE BIZ folks - AFTER HOURS Fridays and Saturdays from 10:00 p.m. until close. HALF PRICE on all Appetizers PLUS $2.00 off all drink prices Saturdays before 7:00 p.m. ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2249 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Mondays through Fridays from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. with half-priced premium well, beer, and house wines and $1 off all other cocktails (excluding premium wines). SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour at the main bar that runs Monday through Saturday from noon to 9 p.m., with $1-to-$2 drink special discounts, depending on what beverages you’re enjoying. All-day Happy Hour on Sundays.

SIDELINES SPORTS BAR 2031-A Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs daily—for the first time!—from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m. with half-price drinks (the other popular Gayborhood-variation on the split-level-drink-price), followed by a back-half Happy Hour from Midnight-toclose, also with (according to their Web site) half-price libations. SMARTY PANTS 3038 N Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour seven days a week, starting at 9 a.m. and continuing through 8 p.m., with daily specials and discounts off their low drink prices.

Fort Lauderdale / Miami

TROPICS 2000 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour starts at 4 p.m. and runs through 9 p.m., Monday through Friday. Drinks are 2-4-1. VILLAGE PUB 2283 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Familiar Faces and Fresh Ideas! Happy Hour Monday through Saturday, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. 2-for-1 free drink tokens are redeemable Monday through Saturday until 10 p.m. WILTON’S BIER GARDEN 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour including 2-4-1 domestic draft beer, 2-4-1 well drinks, and 2-4-1 Coastal Vines house wine selections.

DISCOTEKKA 950 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Sunday nights with “Drag’s a Bitch” and $3 Bud Lights and $5 well drinks. MAGNUM LOUNGE 709 NE 79th St. Miami o Happy Hour 5 p.m.-8 p.m. with $4 margaritas and drink specials every night of the week. MOVA LOUNGE 1625 Michigan Ave. Miami Beach o Thursdays $4 Miller Lites and $6 Finlandia Vodka. Friday Happy Hour runs 6 p.m.-9 p.m. with half-priced cocktails. PALACE BAR & GRILL 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach o Friday Happy Hour from 5-9 p.m. TWIST 1057 Washington Ave. Miami Beach o Happy Hour 2-for-1 drink specials Friday through Wednesday, 1 p.m.-9 p.m. and all day Thursday. Eat and be merry with a free barbeque on Fridays and Sundays, 6 p.m.-8 p.m. VLADA LOUNGE 3215 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Daily Happy Hour two-for-one specials, 4 p.m.-8 p.m.

THE STABLE COUNTRY WESTERN BAR 205 E Oakland Park Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour Monday through Thursday 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Friday through Sunday, noon through 9 p.m., with at least $1 off their regular prices on libations.

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Spotlight By GRANT JAMES

Art Basel 2012:

Make This Your Year to Attend

t has been called the most important art show in the world. Art Basel is one of the Western Hemisphere’s cultural and social highlights, and it returns to Miami Beach December 6 to 9. Featuring works from over 2,000 artists worldwide, Art Basel is South Florida’s biggest, meatiest, artiest event of the year. From renowned artists to newcomers, there is art to be seen and had from every spectrum imaginable. Among those scheduled to attend is the anonymous artist Invader, whose street art is inspired by vintage video game characters. One of his celebrated mosaic tile works was sent into space this year, and the 45-minute documentary about his “Art4Space” project will have its world premiere screening at Miami Beach’s Colony Theater, along with a rare Q&A session with the artist immediately following. While Art Basel 2012 proper is being held in Miami Beach, there are numerous galleries featuring art treasures to behold in Downtown Miami’s Wynwood Art District, as well. If you aren’t already aware, Art Basel doesn’t end with art exhibits. There are dozens of musical events and concerts scheduled all weekend, with performances from Solange Knowles, Danny Brown,

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Neon Indian, Flying Lotus, and Zola Jesus to name a few. Many of the events are free if you RSVP—so there’s really no excuse for you to not show, dig? For more information, check out basel.artbasel. com.

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Guy Dining By RICHARD DAVID CHAMBERLAIN

Shawn & Nick’s Gelato Station

Where Cool Is Hot and Smooth Is In

elato: noun \je-ˈlä-(ˌ)tō\ : a soft rich ice cream containing little or no air, or so says Merriam Webster in its dictionary. At Shawn & Nick’s Gelato Station desserterie, the Italian ice cream takes on nearly spiritual significance. According to showman and resident counterman Johnny “Gelato” Walsh, gelato is lower in fat and has fewer calories than regular ice cream—and he should know since the shop makes and sells both, plus a delicious assortment of sorbetto (which is gelato made with water instead of milk). The current sales champ is pistachio, subtly flavored with the culinary nut. We took a special delight in tasting the complicated stracciatella, a vanilla gelato that’s been laced with crunchy thin chocolate bits. Both are available with a few dozen other gelato flavors, including chocolate, which Johnny insists makes the best shake in town ($5.25). We’ve always had a sweet tooth for sorbet as a light after-dinner palate cleanser. As presented at Gelato Station, the sorbetto selection is heavy on fruit flavors, including the extraordinary pineapple basil, which is rumored to soothe taste buds enflamed by too much spice. Passion fruit

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SHAWN & NICK’S GELATO STATION 2031 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-567-5930

easily won the taste test, but not before getting a tough battle from tropicana and lemon-lime. Favorites all. The price tag for all these temptations is simple to calculate and easy on the wallet. A single scoop of either gelato, sorbetto or ice cream costs $2.95, whether in a cup or on a cone. Two scoops jumps the price to $3.95; three scoops, $4.95; and four scoops, $5.95. Add a fancy candied cone for seventy-five cents more, and you’ve created your own personal slice o’ heaven. The shop sells their flavors in bulk packs, as well. Sixteen ounces of any flavor is priced to go at $7.75; 24 ounces will set you back $12.75; and a heaping 32 ounces costs $16.75 (and is ample enough to open your own ice cream store). Gelato Station is owned by Shawn Bombard and Nick Berry, who’ve previously planted their imprint on the Courtyard Café, just down the Drive (and a satellite Courtyard location at The Depot bar on US-1, a few miles away in Fort Lauderdale). As with their café, the Station creates an unpretentious homespun feel, accented with personalized service that includes free tastes of the constantly-changing assortment of ices and creams. For that extra special someone, Gelato Station also sells homemade chocolates, including an incredible milk chocolate S’more, and a dark chocolate coconut patty—priced per piece, but available in gift boxes. Wednesdays feature a two-for-one ice cream menu, which may not quite double your pleasure, but at half-price, it certainly seems that way. A dollar off coupon is available online at gelatostation.com, and a reward card for faithful customers will soon have you enjoying the occasional cone for free. Scoop it together and you’ve got Gelato Station, a tiny corner of Wilton Manors making magic happen daily from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. And remember to tell them, Guy Magazine sent you.

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Adam & Ease By ADAM STRONG

Host a Fag-tacular Wreath-Making Party

rue Confession: I hung the wreath on the front door to my apartment the day after Halloween (it stood alone among the doors in the hall until last week, when that tarted-up cooz in Number 17-C put up this grotesque fauxmusical-instrument-laden monstrosity; and don’t get me started about Keith Chamlee’s “Nutcracker Nightmare”—she’ll get hers). The sight of Holiday wreaths is a sure sign that the Solstice approacheth (trying say that phrase after three eggnogs), and what could be more in-thespirit-making than to invite your best homies and homos to a fun and fabulous wreath-making party?

than the whole Jack the Ripper, child prostitution, tuberculosis outbreaks, and hypocritical sexual morality thing), and something that brings both a touch of class and a spot of Charles Dickens is a wreath constructed of book pages. What You’ll Need: • 1 10-inch Styrofoam wreath • Glue gun • Glue sticks • Gray craft paint • Brown Craft paint • Strip of ribbon (black) • Paper towels • Pins 1 paperback novel (think: Stephen King length, +/- 800 pages) (Magazines, Christmas wrapping paper, sheet music, and newspapers can also be used for unique wreath examples.)

The Spirits of Christmas For refreshments, include a rum punch (easy to make, just use a pint of your favorite light rum and a gallon of fruit punch), eggnog—both “seasoned” with rum, and non-alcoholic, for the teetotalers in your set—and “hot-buttered rum,” which, as the name implies, is made with a half cup of HOT water, a half cup of rum (light or dark), and a pat of butter on top (sprinkled with nutmeg, cinnamon, and/or pumpkin spice, to taste). There are so many different kinds of wreaths to make, from so many different materials. If you are supplying the crafts with which to make the wreaths, stop by an arts and crafts store and get the requisite materials beforehand. (If you are on a budget, your friends can make the necessary trip and bring their own supplies.) I have always loved the Victorian Age (other

Continued on Page 38

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Continued from Page 36

Apply brown craft paint to the edges of the book using paper towels, and then apply the gray (as a kind of “wash” to give the pages an antique look). Let paint dry on a paper towel for about 10 minutes. Tear a page from the book, and roll it, taking care not to fold or crease it. Apply glue to the end of the roll, and glue it to the wreath, painted edges facing up. Repeat and layer the rolled papers around the entire wreath. After covering the entire foam circle, turn the wreath over (this will make that layer the “bottom,” so to speak). Flatten it out for a few minutes, using something heavy, if necessary. Continue rolling wreath pages. When you are finished, fold a small tab on the bottom edge of the wreath, and apply glue to it. Moving from the wreath’s bottom to its top, finish one layer, and then move to the next one.

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When you get to the inside (center part) of the wreath, continue rolling the paper and applying the glue to the edge. These pages will be shorter when you glue them on. If you have any “empty” spaces at this point, just roll a page, apply glue to its ends, and stick it on the wreath (don’t worry if these “filler” pages don’t touch the Styrofoam wreath—you can stick them to the pages that are already glued if you need to). Filler pages should also be used to add height to the wreath. Glue the strip of ribbon onto the back of the wreath (you can reinforce it with pins if needed), to act as the wreath’s hanger. Once you get the “hang” of these wreaths, they make excellent and unique gifts for friends, regardless of what holiday they are celebrating this month. Well done, sexy Santa!

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Guy Travel By ROBERT ELIAS DEATON

San Francisco Part II The Castro District

San Francisco’s Castro District is the quintessential gayborhood

ittle did Carmelita Castro Lodge know when, in 1894, she built a large home and office building at 1800 Market Street in San Francisco, that she was laying the cornerstone for the future mecca of Gay America. Carmel, as she was known, was the daughter of Martina Castro Lodge, the sister of Mexican General Jose Castro, the one-time Governor of Alta California—a chunk of land so large that when it was split in pieces, it became the states of California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, as well as parts of Colorado and southwestern Wyoming. In 1850, just after the end of the MexicanAmerican War, Carmel married Thomas Fallon, who had fought against her uncle in that conflict. All went well for the next 26 years, and would have continued happily-ever-after had Carmel not discovered her husband in flagrante delicto with the family maid. Divorcing the cad and gaining a sizeable settlement as a result, Carmel uprooted her children and took them with her north to San Francisco, where they eventually moved into their new home at 1800 Market.

San Francisco’s LGBT Community Center

During the earthquake and fire of 1906, the Carmel Fallon House was one of the few buildings in the area untouched by the disaster, a testament to its solid construction, and Carmel’s reported tenacity with a water hose. After Carmel’s death in 1923, the building was eventually sold by her estate, and in 1996 became the home of the LGBT Community Center, at the edge of the Castro District, named after Uncle Jose.

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Today, the area remains the city’s gay cultural apex, with a varied assortment of clubs and eateries to please all palates. Leading the bar scene is Twin Peaks (401 Castro St. between 17th St. & Market St.), reportedly the first gay bar in SF to have windows, effectively exposing the patrons to public scrutiny and preview. Now celebrating its 40th anniversary, the bar is a must-see, if only for a lesson in history. Badlands (4121 18th St.) is the area’s most popular dance club, although Goodlands might make a more appropriate moniker for the place. It attracts the well-scrubbed Abercrombie and Fitch youth movement, who move to the house music tracks with the restraint of one afraid to muss his hair. There’s no such care given to dancing at The Café (2367 Market St. near the corner of Castro & 17th) where a courtyard blooms in the middle of the bar and the dance floor is large enough to perform your best moves. Edge (4149 18th St.) is for Daddies and those who love them. There’s a comfortable feel about this small neighborhood bar where young and old mix without an image problem. Of course, the strong drinks and friendly bartenders help. Speaking of Daddies, 420 Castro (420 Castro St.) gets so many of the breed that should you wander into this joint attached to a hairless body and eight-pack abs, expect to be viewed as an endangered species. Monday night at 420 Castro is underwear night, so be prepared to drop trou and check the outfit at the front door. There is no way to visit the Castro without noticing the line-up outside Nizario’s (4077 18th St.). It’s the local pizzeria that stays open until 3 a.m. and serves a special pie called the Castro, a combination of spinach, feta cheese, pesto and chicken. While our personal favorite is the Nizario’s Special (pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, red onions and bell peppers), trust us when we say at 3 a.m., it all tastes great—and calorie free.

Robert Elias Deaton is a world-traveling epicure who enjoys the finer things in life.

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Guy Tunes By GRANT JAMES

RiRi Can’t Shake Chris Brown, Le1f’s “Soda” Quenches, Alicia Keys Catches “Fire” Le1f

Openly-gay rapper

Rihanna (feat. Chris Brown): “Nobody’s Business”

Can we just admit it? We’ve known for a long, long time that Rihanna is self destructive. But at this point, things have gone from “crazy” to “Charlie Sheen.” Her ex, Chris Brown, has a tattoo that literally depicts a girl with a beaten face. Many people wonder, “What’s wrong with her?” Who can honestly say? The really crazy thing is that the best track on RiRi’s seventh LP, entitled “Unapologetic,” is—like it or not—a Chris Brown collaboration. The disco-influenced track, “Nobody’s Business,” ‘unapologetically’ confesses that their love “ain’t nobody’s bidness.” It’s pretty much the only highlight on this throwaway of an album, which sadly doesn’t say much about RiRi’s independence.

Solange: “Lovers in the Parking Lot”

Solange is working very hard to be the antiBeyoncé. It makes sense. Ashley Simpson tried to break from the shadow of her big sis, Jessica, dying her hair black and going a more Rockn-Roll route. On the flip side, Kelly Osbourne followed in father Ozzy’s footsteps, but made the music more poppy and marketable (which can be said of Miley Cyrus and dad Billy Ray). In the case of Solange and her apparent strategy to de-Beyoncé from her older sibling, the opposite holds true. She seemingly wants to create the anti-pop pop album. “Lovers in the Parking Lot” is Solange’s newly-released track from the forthcoming EP, “True,” which is produced by the up-and-coming British artist Blood Orange (Dev Hynes). Hynes’ lush, dark production isn’t wasted: It fits well with Solange’s minimalist R&B vocals. At first it might

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not exactly impress, but give it a couple listens and you’ll hear the pop-undertones.

Le1f & Boody: “Soda”

Over a bubble-popping crescendo, NY-based Le1f sassily raps “She think she a cool cat/ but she don’t like the water/step up to my ocean.” The track, “Soda”—from the “Liquid” EP, a collaboration between Le1f and producer Boody—stands out, and is a great follow-up to the openly-gay rapper’s first proper single, “Wut:” strong yet fun, sassy yet sugary. Fusing dark electronic/house with hip-hop is definitely trending right now (witness Nicki Minaj, Azealia Banks, TNGHT, Shystie, Charli XCX, Angel Haze, etc., etc.), and Le1f/Boody wear it well (check out the colorful video, complete with neon purple weave and “Paris Is Burning”-style vogueing).

Alicia Keys (featuring Maxwell): “Fire We Make”

The new Alicia Keys single, “Fire We Make,” is smooth, throwback soul from her new LP, “Girl On Fire.” This is pure baby-making music (one R&B blog user commented, “Rub one out, f***ers”), with a rich, classic sound. It represents Alicia getting back to her roots, which is much needed on an album where the new cover single has already become a huge annoyance: You’re either still signing it, or rolling your eyes before you change the station when it plays now. Keys’ voice is beautifully showcased on “Fire We Make,” and it deserves ample recognition.

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Guy Nutrition By ANDY KRESS

Stop-and-Go

Getting a Grip on Constipation

onstipation can be a major stop-and-go part of people’s daily lives that can progress into a variety of deleterious health problems and diseases. Slow movement of waste allows toxins to remain inside the body, which would otherwise be expelled. Extra toxins in the blood stream are the chief cause of weakening of other organs, ultimately leading to disease. Most cases of constipation appear to be caused by an improper diet and faulty lifestyle. The list of unpleasant conditions associated with constipation extends far beyond a bit of irregularity. These include coated tongue, foul breath, loss of appetite, dizziness, dark under-eye circles, depression, nausea, facial pimples, ulcers in the mouth, abdominal bloating, varicose veins, acidity, heartburn and pain in the lumbar region of the back. Even worse than the unpleasant symptoms associated with constipation are the diseases which it causes: appendicitis, rheumatism, high blood pressure, arthritis, cataracts, and cancer. This list of problems and diseases should be enough to scare the crap out of anyone who thinks this is not a serious health condition. There is an easy cure to breaking constipation’s tight hold on your bowels. It comes from a simple and natural diet taken in intervals throughout the day. This is the best known cure to re-educate the body how to function properly. This diet should consist of unrefined foods such as whole grain cereals, bran, honey, molasses and lentils; green and leafy vegetables, especially spinach, French beans, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, cabbage, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, celery, turnip, pumpkin, peas, beets, asparagus and carrots; fresh fruits, especially pears, grapes, figs, papayas, mangoes, grapefruits, gooseberries, guavas and oranges; dry fruits such as figs, raisins, apricots and dates; and milk products in the form

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of butter, ghee and cream. Yet, eating a proper diet alone is not enough. Food should be properly chewed - each morsel for at least 15 times. Hurried meals and meals at odd hours and times of day should be avoided. Consuming sugar and sugary foods should be strictly avoided, because sugar steals B vitamins from the body, without which the intestines cannot function normally. Foods that aid in constipation are all products made of white flour, rice, bread, pulses, cakes, pastries, biscuits, cheese, flesh foods, preserves, white sugar, and hard boiled eggs. Drinking lots of water is very beneficial not only for constipation, but also for cleaning the toxins from the system, diluting the blood, and washing out poisons. Generally, six to eight 12-ounce glasses of water (or 100 ounces) should be taken daily, as it is essential for digesting and dissolving food nutrients so that they can be absorbed and utilized by the body. Note: water should not be taken with meals as it dilutes the gastric juices essential for proper digestion. Water should be taken either half an hour before or an hour after meals. To break the habit of chronic constipation, a fruit diet for about seven days is helpful. In extreme cases, it would be advisable to have a short fast for four or five days. This will drive out the packed contents of the bowels, eliminate toxins and purify the blood stream. If you feel weak, you may take orange juice during the period of fasting. After the all-fruit diet or the short fast, you should gradually embark on a balanced diet of adequate raw foods, ripe fruits, and whole grain cereals. Again, don’t let your body get in trouble because of your mouth. Putting the proper foods in will allow the toxins to come out, naturally.

Andy Kress is a certified fitness trainer, yoga instructor and nutritional counselor in Fort Lauderdale, FL. For more nutritional tips or inspired exercise routines, reach him at 954-789-3930 or via email at andyfitnesstrainer@gmail.com

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Love Jones By JUSTIN JONES

Don’t Take This the Wrong Way, But...

k, I didn’t want to write this, and I’m not sure you want to hear it. I’ve been withholding a secret from you: A secret beyond your wildest dreams, so astonishing and unexpected that I fear I may not have the courage to write it down. It’s about you. Don’t take this the wrong way—and please, don’t take this personally—but you, well, you are a pedantic hooker from Hookertown (it’s up near Boca). There. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to break it to you so blatantly, but I figured it was best to just “rip off the Band-Aid.” No, but for real, the enormous irony here is mind-blowing. Not in that I called you a hooker (with a ridiculous adjective attached), but in the false insult’s preface: “Please, don’t take this personally...” You know people who begin their insults and ignorant observations with, “I’m not a racist, but...” or “I’m not sexist, but...” or “It’s not that I hate him, but...” Having ‘softened’ the forthcoming blow, they say something unapologetically racist, sexist, or otherwise hateful. This is sadly prevalent in the gay community. One of my cringe-worthy favorites is, “I’m not racist, but I’m just, like, not into black guys. I have them—black friends and all—but, like, I just, I mean, I dunno...” How articulate. The whole thing is very telling about the person who’s speaking—it is an unsolicited opportunity for him to paint himself in true colors. The qualifier is intended to makes things easier for his listeners, particularly those with whom he wishes to become closer. Or maybe it’s a form of solace to know that your opinions might be shared. When one uses the ridiculous qualifier, he instantly loses his credibility (assuming his listener is of sound mind). Unfortunately, neither you nor I is immune. We do this all the time, just in different ways. Do any of these sound familiar? “How was dinner? Well,

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you know I don’t really like salty food, but yeah— it was good.” Or: “You’re cute—for a ginger.” Or: “I love gay people—but I don’t want my kids to be gay.” No matter how well-intentioned, these ‘mini’ bombshells lead to bruised egos and hurt feels. They’re stupid, and they’re telling. But in their offensive way, they’re honest. We buffer our “honest” commentary more than when we outright lie. (“Oh, that dress looks great on you!”) By qualifying what we say, we let the truth slip, but it is buffered in the softness of cotton-candy prose, artificially ‘sweetened’ to taste. (“Oh, you know, I don’t really like pink, but the dress looks good on you.”) Maybe we should be grateful for these stupid slips of the tongue, especially from those who we’re considering for dating or friending. They reveal who we really are to them. I told you that you might not want to hear this.

Justin Jones, 26, is a writer based in Minneapolis. In addition to his column “Love Jones,” Justin pens “Through These Eyes,” a bi-weekly column for Lavender Magazine. He writes about things like being alive, being in love, and drinking too much. Facebook.com/JustinJonesWriter.

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the SCENE

By DUNCAN ST. THIBAULT

Carnival Cruises Pulls ‘Drag’ Off— and then Back On—for 12.2.12 Glory Sailing

iami-based Carnival Cruise Lines has backed away from its controversial decision last week prohibiting drag attire from being worn on a drag-themed cruise, leaving Port of Miami on December 2, with stops scheduled in Nassau, St. John, St. Thomas, San Juan, and Turks and Caicos. The “Drag Stars at Sea” cruise will include performances by more than 30 drag performers— including Latrice Royale and Sharon Needles— from LOGO television’s “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” In an apologetic—or was it apoplectic?—letter posted on the cruise line’s Facebook page to customers (and pissed off drag persons), Carnival CEO Gerry Cahill said that a miscommunication between cruise organizer Al and Chuck Travel and the cruise line resulted in an email that put the kibosh on cross-dressing during the cruise on the Carnival ship Glory. “Anyone who wishes to dress in drag may do so,” Cahill’s letter reads. The cruise line is also offering full refunds for passengers who want to cancel their trips “for any reason,” along with “reimbursement for any non-refundable travel related expenses.” That bending-over-backwards (I know what

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I said) worldview stands in sharp contrast to the email sent last week by Vicky Ray, Carnival Cruise Lines’ Vice President of Guest Services, to Glory passengers, advising them that, “Arrangements have been made for drag performances in the main theater featuring stars from LOGO TV. These functions will be private and only the performers are permitted to dress in drag while in the theater. Guests are not allowed to dress in drag for the performances or in public areas at any time during the cruise [emphasis added].” In case she hadn’t made her point, Commandant Continued on Page 54

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Continued from Page 52

Ray added, “We’re sorry to say that any guest who violates our policies and/or whose behavior affects the comfort and enjoyment of other guests, will be disembarked at their own expense and no refund will be given.” Oh reeeeeely? Standing by the cruise line, sailing organizer Al and Chuck Travel said the no-drag-policy was based upon terrorism concerns. “Carnival’s ‘no costumes rule’ is NOT meant to be an insult to the gay community,” the president of the agency, Al Ferguson, wrote on Al and Chuck Travel’s Facebook page. “It is in response to the post-9/11 world we live in. It is meant to protect passengers and guests - NOT to marginalize a few.” (This explanation fails to account for the untold number of post-9/11 Halloween costume cruises the cruise line has sponsored in the decade since the September 11 tragedy.) Ferguson requested that gay passengers “use this opportunity to set an example so that all the world can see that the [LGBT] community can follow rules and regulations just like everyone else.” The queens were clearly not amused. On Al and Chuck’s Facebook page, one post reads, “And what about your comments telling the people on the cruise that we shoudl [sic] just bend over and take it? You guys made a big mistake. Instead of fighting for the right to be included, you did nothing but give excuses. Shame on you.” “People are letting Carnival off easy. So they will allow Drag this one time. That doesn’t change their policy,” another commented. One advised, “I recommend retracting your ‘Like’ for this business.” By way of explanation, in his apology letter Carnival CEO Cahill noted that the cruise line had no idea actual drag queens would be among the passengers for an advertised drag-cruise. “When the group was presented to us we were advised that only the performers would be dressed in drag during the private events,” Cahill wrote. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. Girl!

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