Guy Magazine #135

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10 Guys Night Out 24 Stonewall Pride 28 Bar Guide de 34 Happy Hours Gui 40 The Scene 44 Guy Dining

52 Adam & Ease 62 Guy Bytes 66 Guy Travel 70 Guy Fitness 74 Jake Shears 84 Love Jones

Bobby Blair Publisher Cliff Dunn Editor Jason Otero Creative Director Editorial Contributors Duncan St. Thibault, Tom Bonanti, Andy Kress, Adam Strong, Robert Elias Deaton, Dale Madison, Richard David Chamberlain, Grant James Production Dennis Dean Editorial Photographer Stephen Kuttner Photographer Alexander Maxwell Photographer Administrative Silas Thebert Sales & Marketing Keith Chamlee Sales Manager keithchamlee@guymag.net - 954-465-1563 Dale Madison Client Services Executive dalemadison1@aol.com - 954-478-2415 Marvin Nathan Client Services Executive marvinnathan@guymag.net - 954-903-4780 Michael Beloin Client Services Executive michaelbeloin@guymag.net - 407-283-3619 Jared Wall Client Services Executive jaredwall@guymag.net - 954-817-0084 National Sales Rivendell Media National Ad Representatives 212-242-6863 Display Ads Display Ad Production Deadline: Wednesday, Noon Camera Ready Artwork Deadline: Thursday, Noon Display Advertising sales@guymag.net - 954-903-4780 Classifieds Ads Text Ad Deadline: Thursday, 5 p.m. Placement Ad Production Deadline: Wednesday, 5 p.m. Camera Ready Artwork Deadline: Thursday, Noon Main Office 2435 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone 954-903-4771 Fax 954-607-5712, editor@guymag.net,

Experience us online at “Like” Us!

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Opinions expressed by advertisers, columnists, feature writers or other contributors are not necessarily the opinions of Multimedia Platforms, LLC or its staff. All advertisements, pictures, text and illustrations are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized and have secured proper written consent for use thereof. Multimedia Platforms, LLC shall not be held responsible for any errors, loss or expense or liabilities on advertisements accepted after the weekly deadline. Publication of the name, photograph of any person, or advertisement contained in this issue is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person, advertiser, or organization. Partial or complete reproduction of any advertisement, news article, feature, or photograph from Multimedia Platforms is strictly prohibited. Multimedia Platforms, LLC is a registered trademark. A $30 or 1.5% (whichever is greater) fee will be charged for all NSF checks. © 2012, Multimedia Platforms LLC. All rights reserved.


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Caitlyn, Danielle, and KC

Dwayne and Will

Jerlean

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Brandon and Alex

Ian

Bryan

Brandon and Chi

Michael

Will – Prevention Specialist


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Muscle Bear Man Dance @ Ramrod

guys night OUT

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Long Island Iced Tea Thursday @ Georgie’s Alibi

guys night OUT

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Matty’s on the Drive

guys night OUT

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1-954-446-9001 ★Customer must purchase a new Toyota vehicle from Lipton Toyota during advertised promotion dates. The purchase price of vehicle shall be the Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price plus tax, tag, registration and title fees. Dealer will allow towards the purchase price of the vehicle an amount equal to the vehicle’s estimated annual fuel cost dollar amount as shown on the vehicle’s window sticker. ††36 month lease. Corolla & Camry: $2399 due at signing, includes tag, registration, title, and dealer fees. Dealer retains all rebates. No dealers or dealers agents. All offers not in conjunction with any other offer. With approved credit; Corolla: TFS Tier 1+ - Tier 3; Camry: TFS Tier 1. All offers based on current programs. Subject to factory incentives. Expires 6/26/2012. guymag.net |

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Boom Nightclub

guys night OUT

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Sunday Funday! STONEWALL SUMMER PRIDE 2012 Rocks the Gayborhood! By CLIFF DUNN

T

his Sunday, a tradition begun more than four decades ago—one that sparked and continues to energize the modern LGBT Rights movement—returns to South Florida and Greater Fort Lauderdale’s Gay Village, Wilton Manors. The Stonewall Summer Pride 2012 Street Festival kicks off at noon—sharp!—on Sunday, June 24. (For a complete schedule of acts, events, and other important information, visit stonewallsummerpride.com.) The Gayborhood’s main “drag,” Wilton Drive, will be in all is festive—and savage!—splendor, with live entertainment, world-class DJ/Producers, delicious food and drink, over 125 exhibition booths, and an exclusive Children’s Pride Park. Later, the Stonewall Summer Pride Twilight Parade commandeers the Drive, with fabulous floats, decorative displays, and epic, eye-catching costumes. Immediately after the Twilight Parade, internationally-renowned performers take the stage for the Stonewall Summer Pride Concert, featuring headliner Andy Bell, the lead singer of Billboard Hot 100 act Erasure—called by Insound.com “the definitive synthpop superstars”—whose Top 20 hits include “A Little Respect,” and “Chains of Love.” The event commemorates the Stonewall riots that took place in the early morning hours of June 28, 1969, at the Stonewall Inn, in New York City’s Greenwich Village neighborhood. The demonstrations are frequently cited as the first instance in American history when people in the LGBT community fought back against what they perceived as a government-sponsored system that persecuted sexual minorities, and they have become the defining event that marked the start of the gay rights movement, both in the U.S., and around the world. Today, Gay Pride events are held annually throughout the world toward the end of June to mark the original Stonewall riots. Six-time Emmy® award-winning comedian Bruce Vilanch serves as Grand Marshal of the Stonewall Summer Pride Twilight Parade, which begins its spectacular cavalcade promptly at 7 p.m., with a

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parade route running along Wilton Drive, beginning on Northeast 20 Street, and running north to finish at Five Points. Vilanch’s appearance coincides with his starring performance in “Standing on Ceremony,” a collection of eight short plays dealing with the subject of marriage quality. (Performances run from June 21 to 24, at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts, with a portion of the proceeds benefiting Equality Florida. Stonewall Summer Pride 2012 is presented by the Rainbow Business Coalition (RBC), and the City of Wilton Manors. Reece Darham, co-chair of the RBC and managing director of Island City Health and Fitness, says that attendees to the event will be entertained by dozens of guest performers, including DJs Maximus 3000 and D-Stu and Maximus 3000. Champagne Bordeaux will showcase a tribute to Donna Summer, and Tiffany will offer a tribute to Whitney Houston. Other performances will feature Alyson Thomas, Asheeria Iconic Pryce, Ashiria, Estehania St. Lords, Krystal K, Mica Parish, Nicole Philips, and Vashai Avionce as well as the wonderful Jennifer Holiday (from the original Broadway cast of “Dreamgirls,” among numerous other international performances). Immediately after the Twilight Parade, guests will be treated to exciting performances by Johnny McGovern— The Gay Pimp—and Mary Griffin, Patti Labelle’s Secret Weapon, followed by headlining performer Bell. Local favorite Misty Eyes serves as emcee for the concert. The RBC’s Reece Darham says that the City of Wilton Manors—through its operating arm, Lanier Parking— wants to promote walking, carpooling, and bike riding as alternatives to driving to the event, which is certain to attract a large volume of motor vehicles, with the accompanying traffic headaches for event planners and city officials. To alleviate this, they have put out the word


brief sc h edule of e v ents NOON: 6:00 P.M. 7:00 P.M. 8:30 P.M.

FESTIVAL OPENS JENNIFER HOLLIDAY PERFORMS (NORTH STAGE) STONEWALL SUMMER PRIDE TWILIGHT PARADE MAIN CONCERT BEGINS

that free parking is available at Kmart across from Scandals Saloon at Northeast 6 Avenue. All designated Official Stonewall Festival parking lots will be charging a flat fee of $10.00. In addition, the Pride Center at Equality Park on North Dixie Highway has parking available for employees, sponsors, and volunteers of Stonewall. This must be arranged by obtaining a permit in advance of the event, at the parking office located at 517 Northeast 21 Court, Wilton Manors. Wilton Drive Closed from 4 a.m., June 24 until 3 a.m., June 25. South Drive—Soft street close at Northeast 16 Street, Fort Lauderdale; hard street close at Northeast 20 Street, Wilton Manors. North Drive—Hard close at Wilton Drive, Five Points; North Dixie Highway—rolling closures for parade.

Entrances & Parking Street Entrances Blocked for Limited Access NE 23RD @ DIXIE • NE 9th @ 26th ST NE 7TH AVE @ 20TH ST. • NE 8th TERR @ 26th ST NE 7TH AVE @ NE 21ST DR • NE 8th @ 26th ST NE 6TH TERR @ 20TH ST • NE 7th @ 26th ST NE 21ST DR @ 20TH ST • NE 6th @ 26th ST (TBD) NE 21ST CT @ 20TH ST Wilton Drive (from Northeast 16 to 20 Streets) • STAFF WILL BE AT ROAD CLOSURE AND DIRECTING CARS INTO SPACES • STREET PARKING $10.00 ALL DAY • PARKERS WILL BE INSTRUCTED TO REMOVE THEIR VEHICLE BY 1:00 AM • DESIGNATED HANDICAP SPACES Richardson Park 50 Parking Spaces • VIP PARKING (BY ADVANCE PERMIT ONLY) Northeast 21 Court and Woman’s Club • PUBLIC PARKING- $10.00 ALL DAY • 4 DESIGNATED HANDICAP SPACES • RESIDENTS LIVING ON 21ST COURT WILL BE NOTIFIED OF CLOSING IN ADVANCE. • GABLES PARKING PERMITS WILL ALLOW ENTRY. Northeast 20 Street @ Northeast 21 Court • GRASS LOT $10.00 ALL DAY Hagen Park/City Hall • LOT PARKING $10.00 ALL DAY; 10 DESIGNATED HANDICAP SPACES Kids in Distress • LOT PARKING $10.00 ALL DAY; EXISTING HANDICAP SPACES

Vacant Lot (Kids in Distress) • $10.00 ALL DAY; TWO DESIGNATED HANDICAP SPACES Iberia Bank Metered Lot • PARKING $10.00 ALL DAY Church of Spiritual Living • SHUTTLE SERVICE; LOT PARKING $10.00 ALL DAY; EXISTING HANDICAP SPACES Shoppes of Wilton Manors • VALET PARK­ING 200 SPACES (COST TBD). • EMPLOYEE PARKING IN REAR • ACCESS NEEDED FOR GYM MEMBERS UNTIL NOON, THEY CAN SHOW ID. Pride Center at Equality Park • SPONSOR, VOLUNTEER, EMPLOYEE PARKING (NO CHARGE BY ADVANCE PERMIT) • EXISTING HANDICAP SPACES Maintenance Yard 100 Spaces • LOT PARKING $10.00 ALL DAY; EIGHT DESIGNATED HANDICAP SPACES Unity Church • LOT PARKING $10.00 ALL DAY; 40 SPACES RESERVED FOR UNITY EMPLOYEES (BY ADVANCE PERMIT) K-MART 200 Spaces • FREE PARKING; EXISTING HANDICAP SPACES TOTAL (ESTIMATED) SPACES = 1,620 13 STAFFED LOTS guymag.net

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Main Stage Lineup 12:00 MISTY EYEZS TO MC 12:05 RUBI ALEXANDRIA ELECTRA: CHAMPAGNE: TIFFANY: BETTE TRIBUTE TO TRIBUTE TO 12:12 VASHAI AVOINCE MIDDLER WHITNEY HOUSTON DONNA SUMMER 12:19 NATASHA 12:26 KAREEMA CASTRO (RECORCING 5:34 Noel Leon ARTIST) 5:40 VIVA MIRAGE 12:36 JASMINE DUMANT SHOW IS OVER ON MAIN STAGE UNTIL 12:43 MICA PARISH AFTER PARADE (DJ TO SPIN ONLY) 12:50 DIAMOND GODDESS AVIONCE 6:00 JENNIFER HOLLIDAY PERFORMS ON 12:57 OMEGA WASHINGTON NORTH STAGE UNTIL 6:30 1:05 ASHERIA EXTRAVAGANZA 6:30 START CLEARING STREET FOR PARADE 1:12 TINA TORCH AT 7 1:20 FT. LAUDERDALE GAY MEN’S CHORUS 7:00 PARADE STARTS (HOSTED BY VICTOR 1:40 ALEXIS CATOUR ZEPKA ON MAIN STAGE) 1:47 JENNIFER GRANT 8:15 MISTY EYEZ TO MC 1:55 NAO TYLO (RECORDING ARTIST) 8:15 VELVET LANORE K-OTIC FORCE 2:10 DAME EDNA 8:25 NEWLY CROWNED MISS STONEWALL 2:20 KITTY MEOW 8:30 ALYSON THOMAS (MS NOCHE LATINA 2:27 SARA & GUEST (SUNSHINE CATHEDRAL) ELITE) 2:37 CHAMPAGNE BORDEAUX (TRIBUTE TO 8:35 GIRLS FROM LIPS WHITNEY HOUSTON) 8:40 AWARDS PRESENTED BY RBC AND 2:47 ELECTED OFFICIALS INTRODUCE THE STONEWALL BOARD 3:00 ELECTRA (BETTE MIDLER) HEADLINERS 3:10 LASHAWN BEYOND 8:45 MARY GRIFFIN 3:17 MYLES (DRAG KING) 9:10 JOHNNY MCGOVERN 3:24 MALIK DIAMOND 9:30 ANDY BELL 3:30 GIRLS FROM LIPS 3:40 TIFFANY ARIEAGUS (TRIBUTE TO DONNA SUMMERS) 4:00 AMANDA AUSTIN (TAKES OVER AS MC 4 TO 6) 4:00 Amanda Austin 4:05 Alandra Matthews 4:11 Dee Dee Van Carter 4:16 Nicole Halliwell 4:22 Sharde Ross 4:28 Selena 4:34 Desire Dubois DJ STU DJ SUSHIMAN 4:40 Brianna Damore 2 P.M. 12 P.M. 4:46 Karma Bee 4:52 Ruby Alexandria 4:48 Athena Dion 5:04 Vanity Flair 5:10 Giselle Spice 5:16 Evelyn Monroe 5:22 Twat LaRouge & Chocolatta 5:28 Tiffany Fantasia DJ AJ DJ MAXIMUS 5-7 P.M. 3000 7 p.m.

DJ Lineup

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bar guide ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oGayborhood tradition since 1997. Comfortable, inviting atmosphere with indoor video bars, outdoor drinking and dining. Drink specials all week, with mammoth 22-ounce Long Island Iced Teas for $3 on Thursdays. BILL’S FILLING STATION 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oVideos, pool tables, dart boards, dance floor, happy hour, live shows, Tuesday and Thursday karaoke – and great burgers to boot. Fun and friendly truck-stop-themed bar, great staff. BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oOver 100 of the sexiest men from all over the world. Go-go dancers, cages, billiards, 2-4-1 Happy Hours. Drag em- cees and did we mention the boys? BOOM 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oThe bar with two names features a dance club and Gayborhood bar. Drag Bingo on

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Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Mondays, karaoke Mondays and Tuesdays, dance music Fridays and Saturdays, and (indoor) Sunday T-Dance. CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave Wilton Manors oFriendly atmosphere, unpretentious clientele and staff. Next to Island City Pizza (so you can get your drink AND your slice on). CUBBY HOLE 823 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oButch bar and grill with a rockin’ daytime crowd (and a fun nighttime one, too). Fifty-cent pool, 2-for-1 drinks all day every day, video games, hot movies on HDTV and DirecTV. Thursdays it’s Bare Bear Chest Night, and every Friday and Saturday, the fur flies with Hot Bears on Poles (where the Grizzlies Grind)! DEPOT CABANA BAR AND GRILL 2935 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oAdjacent to the America’s Best Inn and Suites. Pool open daily - No Cover or Day Pass. Great food, daily happy hour, Sunday afternoon T-Dance Poolside. Karaoke and live music. Open daily at 11:30 a.m.

DUDES 3270 NE 33rd St Fort Lauderdale oMen dancing for men. Hot go-go boys in an upscale atmosphere, piano lounge for more quiet interludes. Steamy shower shows. JOHNNY’S 1116 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oClub, bar, lounge. Male dancers and the men who love (to ogle) them. Sunday amateur strip contest (and karaoke!). LIPS 1421 E Oakland Park Blvd Oakland Park oThe Ultimate in Drag Dining. Dinner and shows six nights a week. Sunday Gospel Brunch with the Sisters of Sequins. THE MANOR 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWeHo vibe (think: LA’s The Abbey) in the heart of the Gayborhood. Dine, drink, dance, play, mingle. Theme rooms (salsa and merengue every weekend in the Latin Quarter!). Live dancing and dining.


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bar guide MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oDrink specials, billiards, and a chill gayborhood vibe. 75 cent drinks on Wednesdays. No Drama, No Smoking. MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar. Karaoke, drags shows, Patio Bar and open at 9 a.m. daily. MONA’S 502 E Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCocktail Lounge in the heart of Searstown. Fun customers, fun bartenders and fun proprietor (the Legendary Jerry). Outside patio. Wednesday karaoke, Thursday Speedball Tournament. NAKED GRAPE 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oRelaxing, friendly, hip, unique. The alternative gathering place on Wilton Dr. Now serving tapas nightly. Social Hour features $5 house wine glasses, $1 Barcelona Bites, and In The Biz all the time. RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave Fort Lauderdale oVoted World’s Favorite Leather Bar. Pig Dance first Saturday of the month – South Florida’s

Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Busiest, Craziest Monthly Party (with caged hunks at midnight on Saturdays – Is there a downside to this?).

Monday In the Biz, Thursday Leather Nights. They bring the party (and the mattresses), you bring the booze.

ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2449 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oNexus of the A-Gay List. Be Seen in the Scene (without making one). Food, folks, libations, and a killer Sunday Funday.

SMARTY PANTS 2400 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar with daily happy hour, and regular patrons. Show night Thursdays at 9 p.m. Karaoke Friday and Saturday nights, with matinee on Sunday afternoon.

SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors oA line-dancin’, tight blue jeans-wearin’ good time. Country and western music, two-steppin’, three-steppin’, pool tables, and themed events year ‘round. Cowboys and Indians was never this much fun, Pilgrim. SIDELINES 2031 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWhere sports come first. Nationally known destination sports bar with TVs streaming NFL, MLB, NBA and college games. Pool tables, dart boards and large indoor (and now smoke-free) facility. Outdoor patio features area for smokers. Mixed crowd of gay men and women (who would have thought?). Featured in Bloomberg Businessweek and recommended by LOGO. SLAMMER 321 W Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oPrivate Men’s Club. Pay cover, then uncover.

THE STABLE 205 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oLevis-and-leather neighborhood bar, where the bears line dance and the cowboys are VERY friendly. TORPEDO 2829 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oDance, shoot pool, drink til 4 a.m., 7 nights a week. Doors open at midnight; dance til dawn. WILTON’S BIER GARDEN 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o German cuisine meets Der Gayborhood, in a fun, relaxed atmosphere. Upstairs dining, downstairs outdoor patio and bar, DJ music, and a fun staff make one of Wilton Manors’ newest venues a good time to be had by all.

Miami / Miami Beach CLUB SUGAR 2301 SW 32nd Ave Miami oGay Latin scene, with Salsa, Merengue, Reggaeton, Hip Hop and House music always playing. DISCOTEKKA 950 NE 2nd Ave Miami oHot music, hot scene, hot bartenders, and hot patrons in the hot heart of Downtown Miami. JOHNNY’S MIAMI 63 NE 14th Street Downtown Miami oThe second location of the infamous Club, bar, lounge. Male dancers and the men who love (to ogle) them. Multiple weekly events including Latin Thursdays and Drag Queen Mondays and no cover. MOVA LOUNGE 1625 Michigan Ave Miami Beach oOn Miami Beach’s famed Lincoln Road, never

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a cover. Drink specials all week long, live DJs, high energy music and a fun crowd getting their dance on til late. PALACE BAR 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach oThis bar and restaurant in the heart of South Beach’s Art Deco District. Mouth- watering burgers, boys (and girls!). Weekend cabaret shows Thursday through Sunday. SCORE 727 Lincoln Rd Miami Beach oDance, drink, party all night on Miami Beach’s Lincoln Road. Tons of events throughout the year, including fundraisers for Winter Party, White Party, and Miami Beach Gay Pride. SPACE 34 NE 11th St Miami oMingle and mix with gays and str8s in the heart of Downtown Miami. Indoor dance floors and outdoor rooftop bar, spectacular light show.

SWINGING RICHARDS 17450 Biscayne Blvd N Miami oThe only gay strip club in Southern Florida to offer FULLY NUDE dancers. Smokin’ hot dancers all week long. TWIST 1057 Washington Ave Miami Beach oGreat music, friendly staff, hot tourists and locals. Never a cover, always a groove. Bungalow Bar = Hot Men. In SoBe’s Art Deco District. VLADA LOUNGE 3215 NE 2nd Ave Miami oUrban, sophisticated and chic in Midtown Miami with a bar that ices over. New York pedigree meets Miami attitude. Nightly DJs, never a cover.


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happy hours

Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Bill’s Filling Station 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour half-off drink prices from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., Monday through Friday, with an additional halfprice “Bear Necessities” Happy Hour on Friday nights from Midnight to close. Boardwalk 1721 N Andrews Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily, with 2-4-1 mixed drinks and brew. Boom 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Half-priced drink Happy Hours Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Fridays and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., as well as $7 premium martinis all day long. Corner Pub 1915 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Seven-day Happy Hour from 11 a.m. til 9:30 p.m., with $1.75 domestic drafts, $2.50 domestic bottles, $2.75 imports, $2.50 well drinks, $2.75 calls, $3 premiums, and $4.75 Jaeger shots. Cubby Hole 823 N Federal Hwy. Fort Lauderdale) o Happy Hour with 2-4-1 drinks all day every day. The Depot Cabana Bar and Grill (2935 N Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale): Happy Hour features halfprice drinks, Monday through Friday from 11:30 a.m. til 8 p.m. Dudes on the Beach 3270 NE 33rd St. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour features a seven day a week 2-4-1 special from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. Georgie’s Alibi 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Friday. Johnny’s Club, Bar, and Lounge 1116 W Broward Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour runs seven days, Monday through Thursday from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays

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from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Sundays from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., with varying drink specials depending the day, and discounted drinks starting at $4. The Manor Restaurant and Nightclub 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Wednesday through Friday from open ‘til 9 p.m., 2-4-1 drinks and $5 tapas. Matty’s on the Drive 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Saturday from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and a drink chip that’s good through 10 p.m.! Mona’s Cocktail Lounge (next to Lisa’s Backyard) 502 E Sunrise Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour is celebrated seven days a week from noon till 9 p.m., with $2.50 domestic beers and well drinks, and $1.25 drafts. Monkey Business 2740 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs through 9 p.m., seven days, with drinks specials that average about $1-$1.50 off per mixed drink or brew. Naked Grape Wine Bar 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o “Social Hour” from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., with $5 glasses of house wine, and $1 Barcelona Bites. On Thursdays, buy one flat bread or panini, get one 1/2 price.


happy hours Pinché Taqueria 2045 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o A NYC-by-way-of-Tijuana-transplant, offering great outdoor atmosphere and a daily 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Happy Hour with $4 well drinks, $5 Pinché margaritas, and $20 margarita pitchers, as well as half-priced appetizers from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. PJ’s Corner Pocket 924 N Flagler Drive Fort Lauderdale o Monday through Friday Happy Hour with $1 off every drink, as well as an everyday five 7 oz. Bud Lights for $5 special. Ramrod 1508 NE 4th Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Fort Lauderdale’s oldest gay bar under the same ownership, a leather, Levis, and uniform bar with hot men and a 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily 2-4-1 Happy Hour (weekends included!). Rodeo Restaurant and Bar 2033 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Select Happy Hour specials menu: 50% off bottles of wine, Tuesdays from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.; half-price martinis on Wednesdays from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., and Thursday Ladies Nights, with half-price well drinks, beer, and wine glasses. Rosie’s Bar & Grill 2249 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Mondays through Fridays from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. with half-priced premium well, beer, and house wines and $1 off all other cocktails (excluding premium wines).

Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors

Sidelines Sports Bar 2031-A Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs daily—for the first time!—from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m. with half-price drinks (the other popular Gayborhood-variation on the split-level-drink-price), followed by a back-half Happy Hour from Midnight-toclose, also with (according to their Web site) half-price libations. Smarty Pants 3038 N Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour seven days a week, starting at 9 a.m. and continuing through 8 p.m., with daily specials and discounts off their low drink prices. The Stable Country Western Bar 205 E Oakland Park Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour Monday through Thursday 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Friday through Sunday, noon through 9 p.m., with at least $1 off their regular prices on libations.

Tropics 2000 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour starts at 4 p.m. and runs through 9 p.m., Monday through Friday. Drinks are two-for-theprice-of-one (hereinafter, 2-4-1). Wilton’s Bier Garden 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour including 2-4-1 domestic draft beer, 2-4-1 well drinks, and 2-4-1 Coastal Vines house wine selections.

Scandals Saloon 3073 NE 6th Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour at the main bar that runs Monday through Saturday from noon to 9 p.m., with $1-to-$2 drink special discounts, depending on what beverages you’re enjoying. All-day Happy Hour on Sundays.

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happy hours Johnny’s Miami 62 NE 14th St. Miami o $5 drinks all night, Wednesday through Sundays. Palace Bar & Grill 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach o Friday Happy Hour from 5-9 p.m. Magnum Lounge 709 NE 79th St. Miami Happy Hour 5 p.m.-8 p.m. with $4 margaritas and drink specials every night of the week. Twist 1057 Washington Ave. Miami Beach o Happy Hour 2-for-1 drink specials Friday through Wednesday, 1 p.m.-9 p.m. and all day Thursday. Eat and be merry with a free barbeque on Fridays and Sundays, 6 p.m.-8 p.m.

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Miami / Miami Beach

MOVA Lounge 1625 Michigan Ave. Miami Beach o Thursdays $4 Miller Lites and $6 Finlandia Vodka. Friday Happy Hour runs 6 p.m.-9 p.m. with half-priced cocktails. Discotekka 950 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Sunday nights with “Drag’s a Bitch” and $3 Bud Lights and $5 well drinks. Vlada Lounge 3215 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Daily Happy Hour two-for-one specials, 4 p.m.-8 p.m.


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To The Moon

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the SCENE

By GRANT JAMES

Charli XCX: T

“You’re the One” (EP)

he UK’s Charli XCX is one of the most talked-about artists in the underground pop scene. Her first proper single, “Stay Away ”—released last June—received a large amount of praise from various blogs and websites, and created buzz for the then-18 year old singer. When her second single, “Nuclear Seasons,” was released in November, she was already making a name for herself. Charli (born Charlotte Aitchison) is a very strategic singer. She’s releasing enough to keep people interested (and to build a fan base) before the release of her debut album—out this fall in the UK— with a spring 2013 release in America. er debut EP release, “You’re the One,” unfortunately only brought the release of one new single, the title song—“You’re the One”—with the inclusion of a previouslyheard single, “Nuclear Seasons,” for which the single “You’re the One” is the perfect follow up. With an incredibly catchy chorus, and beautiful hooks, Charli reels you into her world—one which you’ll have no intention of leaving. She’s influenced by various 90s pop icons and films—The Craft, Cruel Intentions, American Beauty, and The Spice Girls, among others. All of these influences were sampled on her newly-released mixtape, “Heartbreaks and Earthquakes” (which released on the same day as the “You’re the One” EP). When speaking of her music, Charli says she wants people to think of “colors”—or “colours,” if you’d prefer—when listening. She says for her, it’s black, pink, and gold. I concur. /10

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“The Idler Wheel...”

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iona Apple has never really had an easy life. Raped at the age of 12, cheated on by ex-boyfriend and director P.T. Anderson (who left to marry comedian/actress Maya Rudolph), and most recently a break-up with American author Jonathan Ames (who is most notable for creating the HBO series “Bored to Death”). Fiona has never been known to make “feel good” music, but the pain and suffering on “The Idler Wheel…”— which has a full title that, at 23 words, is a bit of a mouthful– is without a doubt borderline worrisome. The album itself is reason enough to consider a Baker Act examination for the 34-year old New York-born songstress. n opening track—and first single— “Every Single Night,” you see her internal struggle as clear as day: “Every single night’s alright/every single night’s a fight/and every single fight’s alright, with my brain/I just want to feel everything.” Apple’s husky vocals and troubling lyrics—combined with the album’s raw alternative jazz/rock sound— force the listener to face her demons, headon. “Daredevil” is perhaps the album’s most aggressive song, with opening lines “I guess I must just be a daredevil/I don’t feel anything until I smash it up,” shortly followed by the hook, “And don’t let me ruin me/I may need a chaperone.” She continues the next verse with, “Say I’m an airplane/and the gashes I got from my heartbreak make the slots and

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the flaps upon my wing, and I use them to give me lip/hip hip for the lift hip hip for the drag.” “Valentine” shelters more self-destructive lyrics. “You didn’t see my Valentine/I sent it via pantomime/While you were watching someone else/I stared at you and cut myself/it’s all I do ’cause I’m not free/a fugitive too dull to flee.” hile some of these songs may seem like a pity party, they’re anything but. The performer recently told Pitchfork.com, “This is the stuff that I really needed to get out. This is the excrement of my life, the excrement I was trying to exorcise out of me.” Personally, I think creating music as a form of therapy is a healthy, noble effort. Making music for others to relate to may be more engaging, but as an artist, making music for the sake of your own psyche is the most important thing.

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dmittedly, “The Idler Wheel…” (which is unabridged-titled, “The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than The Driver of The Screw And Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do”) is hard to get through: It’s dark and psychotic, and at times Fiona comes off downright hopeless. While the songs are incredibly hard to digest, this is Apple in her raw, real form. Be prepared—there are no gimmicks, no quirky upbeat singles. The album is balls-tothe-wall insanity, holding hands with a crippling depression. Apple may have finally gone off the deep end (she recently said in an interview that she doesn’t like leaving her house, and she tries to avoid new places), but in the end, the album ends up forcing you to explore the deepest, darkest parts of your mind. Fiona may be in her darkest hour, but fortunately, she’s also at the peak of her brilliance.

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making a SCENE GWEN THERE, DONE THAT

90

s Ska/Pop rockers No Doubt announced that their first album in 11 years finally has a release date and a name. “Push and Shove” is due out September 25, with the first single dropping in early July, entitled “Settle Down.”

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FULL OF GRACE

odel, actress, and Andy Warhol muse Grace Jones Hula Hooped her way through an entire four-minute song for HRM Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee concert—without skipping a beat. Slave to the rhythm.

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GUY MAGAZINE, THE FLORIDA AGENDA, matty’s on the drive, and wilton manors main street invite OUR COMMUNITY BUSINESS LEADERS TO our

June MMP Monthly Luncheon • Network with South Florida Business Leaders • Promote Your Business • Make New Friends

Thursday, June 28 11AM to 1PM 2426 Wilton Drive MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE COMPLIMENTARY Lunch provided by matty’s

Limited to the first 125 business owners and their staff members RSVP to dalemadison@guymag.net Decor provided by

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Guy Dining By RICHARD DAVID CHAMBERLAIN

Beefcakes Stripped Down to the Basics

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t’s hard to complain about a restaurant which proudly posts itself at the outside bar of a strip club, serves the most expensive cheeseburger in Fort Lauderdale, and surrounds you with half-naked men on their breaks from the stage on the other side of a flimsy curtain. That’s Beefcakes, the eatery side of Boardwalk, Victor Zepka’s legendary nightclub and ogglefest. But back to that burger. The menu labels it Fort Lauderdale’s Most Outrageous and Expensive Cheeseburger, and at $16.95 it sounds about right. For that price, you get a ½ pound patty of ground Kobe beef, a slab of cheese (American, Cheddar, Asiago, or Swiss), with onion rings, French fries, lettuce and tomato, all packed inside a tasty baked brioche roll. As burgers go, this one arrives at the table sizzling with enthusiasm and the flavor matches the succulent aroma. The package meal is extremely filling; making the cut as a dish for two, and reminding you why a quarter-pounder sounds so big. While the burger is available every night of the week, not all the menu items are. Take the finger-lickin’ Vickie’s Buttermilk Fried Chicken ($9.95), a Sunday-only entrée delivered with mashed potatoes and gravy. Served as a three-piece dish, this chicken certainly has the crunch of homemade and is marinated, spiced, and coated in flour before being deep-fried in a kind of comfort-food caldron. Perfect for date night at the strip club with its Sunday Latin Night and $3 Margaritas. The Blackboard Specials come and go throughout the week. On a recent visit, our table explored the Tilapia Plate with a six-ounce piece of white fish, sweet potato fries and broccoli that was prepared lightly seasoned, and flaky fresh. At $13.95, it was one of the more reasonable priced meals, and impressive with its simple preparation. There’s always someone who will order a 16 oz. slab of Rib-Eye Steak, blackened on the outside with two sides dishes for $17.95. They routingly marvel when their

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plate arrives overflowing with the sheer size of the steak, and then somewhere between the opening snark and final lick of the plate, finish off the whole piece—no sharing. It is with a combined look of astonishment and envy we admire the feat, a happy smile the true critic of the meal’s success. The more Elizabethan dish of Jeffrey’s Homemade Shepherd’s Pie ($12.95) is a hearty blend of beef, corn and carrots, topped by mashed potatoes, and served in a personal crock. This one-dish meal is a crowd pleaser straight from the recipe cards of the head chef Jeff, who manages to keep the food flowing in an arpeggio of flavor and consistency. The service at Boardwalk is a hit-or-miss Shakespearean drama of intrigue and romance. Cell phone calls interrupt orders, police car chases supply movement color, and the element of danger, while the occasional argument between beefy strippers and their twinkier counterparts go from bitter to blessed all between appetizer and entrée. Now as dicey as that suggests, it actually all works in a cacophony of sounds, action and non-stop surprises. A perfectly scripted theater of life on-the-side. During the week, special theme nights take place inside the club and out. Wednesday’s ½-Off Burger Night holds forth outside while a “New Meat” Amateur Strip Contest has them lining up at the door. $3 Long Island Ice Teas make the wait a lively affair. Thursday it’s Two-for-One Dinner Night with the purchase of a beverage. On the Boardwalk stage, there’s a shadow dance at midnight about which the most one should say is “seeing is believing.” It’s all great fun; and most important, surprisingly good food.

BEEFCAKES AT BOARDWALK 1721 North Andrews Avenue Fort Lauderdale, FL 33311 954-463-6969


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Got a Great Restaurant?

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Diner by Day... Checkers by Night

Due to a fire, Checkers Old M端nchen in Pompano Beach has temporarily moved to Diner by the Sea in Lauderdale by the Sea. Enjoy the same quality German food and beer from Checkers Old M端nchen along with the same Diner classics. Checkers Old M端nchen will open 4:00PM daily at the location of Diner by the Sea

215 Commercial Boulevard Lauderdale by the Sea, FL 954-491-0642

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Breakfast or Lunch at Diner by the Sea! (Must present this ad)

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Adam & Ease By ADAM STRONG

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ummer is in full swing, and even as I write this, some of your closest pals are scribbling their invites for 4th of July pool parties and other hot summertime fun, so be prepared: Bringing one of these tasty sides along with you will compliment whatever main event—roast suckling pig, shrimp on the Barbie, kebabs and wraps—your hosts have planned, and make you, the bearer of such delicious goodwill, a welcome guest every time. You can also try these for your own winning Independence Day Bash, or to add some sass to the most “mundane”—by which I mean fabulous—Sunday Funday of burgers-and-hot dogs poolside.

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Devilish Bar-B-Q Eggs s there a downside to this: Deviled eggs tarted-up with smoky, flavorful pork. Who da man now?

Ingredients • One dozen large eggs • ¼ cup, mayonnaise • 1/3 cup, finely-chopped smoked pork • 1 tablespoon, Dijon mustard • ¼ teaspoon, salt • ½ teaspoon, pepper • 1/8 teaspoon, hot sauce • Paprika In a single layer, place eggs in a large saucepan. Add water to a depth of three inches, and bring to a boil. Cover, remove from heat, and let stand about 15 minutes. Drain and fill pan with cold water and ice. Tap eggs firmly on a countertop, until cracks form on the shells. Peel

eggs under cold running water. Cut eggs in half lengthwise, carefully removing the yolks. Mash the yolks with mayonnaise, and stir in pork, Dijon mustard, salt, pepper, and hot sauce, blending the mixture well. Spoon the yolk mixture evenly into egg white halves. Garnish with paprika.

Uncle Ferdy’s Potato Salad

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ne of my favorite sides at Rosie’s Bar and Grill is their loaded potato salad. I named my take of this delicious dish after my mom’s brother—who was himself also always loaded. If you are counting inches (not that kind, perv), you can substitute light mayo and light sour cream for the fattier versions. Ingredients • 6 to 8 medium potatoes (about three pounds), peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes • ½ pound, bacon, cooked and crumbled • 6 green onions, chopped • 2 celery ribs, finely chopped • 2 tablespoons, diced pimiento, drained • ¾ teaspoon, salt • ¼ teaspoon, pepper • ½ cup, mayonnaise Continued on Page 54

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• ½ cup, sour cream • Paprika • Celery sticks

Cook potatoes in boiling water. Then place them in a Dutch oven, over medium heat, for 15 to 18 minutes. Drain and let them cool slightly. Place the potatoes in a large bowl. Add bacon, chopped green onions, celery ribs, diced pimiento, salt, and pepper. Stir mayonnaise and sour cream together, until blended. Pour mayo/ sour cream over the potato mixture, and toss gently to coat. Cover and chill for one hour. Garnish with paprika and celery sticks.

Louisiana Hush Pups

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nytime I find myself in a country-themed restaurant, I find myself ordering the hush puppies. These fluffy, golden, deep-fried jewels of “The Souf” taste great with anything, although you will often find them snuggled up next to an entrée of fried fish. The chopped jalapeno packs a feisty—but not too wild—kick.

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Ingredients • 1 cup, self-rising cornmeal mix ½ cup, self-rising flour 1 tablespoon, sugar 1 large egg ½ cup, milk or beer ½ cup, diced onion ½ cup, chopped green bell pepper 1 jalapeño pepper, chopped Vegetable oil Combine cornmeal mix, flour, and sugar in a large bowl, and make a well in the center of the mixture. Combine egg with milk or beer, diced onion, chopped green bell pepper, and chopped jalapeño pepper, stirring well. Add egg/pepper mixture to dry ingredients, stirring until moistened. Pour oil to a depth of three inches into a Dutch oven, or large saucepan; heat oven to 375°. Drop the batter—in rounded tablespoonfuls—into the hot oil. Fry in batches for two minutes on each side, or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels, and serve immediately. Like the Cajun chef, Justin Wilson, used to say: Ooh, boy, dis hee-yuh is won-duhmuss—I gar-ON-tee!


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Guy Bytes By DUNCAN ST. THIBAULT

Wipe Your Apps!

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h, how I love to recall the excitement of Christmas morning: Unwrapping cool gifts and the latest toys, assembling and using them until you think you’re going to burst from enjoyment, and then—casting inhibition aside—capping off the day’s festivities by playing with the boxes for three hours. The preponderance of smartphone apps reminds me of nothing so much as that Christmas night PSS (“post-stimulation-shock”), when things that seemed awesome at daybreak get relegated to back of the closet, no longer cherished, and no longer used. There are Big Boy Things you can do to avoid having too many apps clutter up your iPhone or Android, and to keep you from getting overwhelmed like Babes in App-land. These five rules will help.

1

. KNOW WHEN TO HOLD ‘EM Certain apps—and basic phone functions—you always want to have at the ready. I keep these important apps— iTunes, for instance, and CoPilot Live Premium for days I’m taking the interstate—on my home screen, even though I know this reduces my overall app capacity.

2

. KNOW WHEN TO FOLD ‘EM The iPhone, under the iOS 4 operating system, has a nifty little organizational tool for creating folders at a snap. To access it, press and hold an app icon until all of your displayed apps start to “shake.” Drag two apps that you’d like to group together, and a folder will be created containing the two apps, already labeled (you can change the

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pre-generated name). Each folder holds up to 12 apps. For the Android 4.0 operating system, a new folder can be made the same way, up to a max of 16 apps.

3

. IGNORE THE MAN BEHIND THE SCREEN Stay on a single app screen. The iPhone home screen contains 20 places for icons and folders, with up to 12 apps contained in each. A full 25 Apple apps cannot be deleted, and with all this clutter, you may be tempted to allow the spill-over onto another screen. DON’T DO IT. This is why you have a home computer. More than 200 apps is one—hundred—apps too many. (Did you really need me to tell you this?)

4

. IF YOU HAVEN’T “WORN” IT FOR A YEAR, GET RID OF IT It’s just as true of apps as it is for your old clothes. It may have been fun to download ANGRY ZOMBIES IV: Revenge of the Worm when you were bored out of your gourd during that six-hour road trip, but enough already. To delete an iOS app, press its icon until it shakes. Tap the “x” displayed in the corner to delete it. For Android phones, the newer OS’s let you delete in a similar fashion; for earlier versions, find the “manage apps” screen in the program’s settings.

5

. APP LOSS, SCHMAPP LOSS The beauty of this modern age is that you can access your content—music, images, contacts, documents, whatever—from whichever device you’re using. If you want to restore an app, you can do it from your phone. With iOS, click on Updates (at the Apple Store), and then click “Purchased.” Every app on your device will display, along with a tab reading “Not On This iPhone/iPad.” This shows a list of every app you’ve purchased from Apple, which can be restored by a simple click— FREE, since you already paid for them. For Android phones, go to “My Apps” (on the Google Play Store app). Every app ever purchased can be restored from there. (Exception: Free apps aren’t stored in My Apps after they’re deleted. They need to be reloaded at the app store page.)

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In the Words of Captain Marvel: “SHAZAM!”

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hen the iPhone app phenomenon exploded in 2008, one of the gee-gaws that fueled the hysteria was Shazam. This music discovery app identifies songs you hear at a club—or in an elevator—and, like a Euterpean concierge, provides background information for the track, and lets you add it to your library. Although the field of music discovery apps has grown crowded lo these four years passed, there’s still some unique life left in the old boy. The “rebooted” Shazam Player app enables you—in real time—to share songs and read lyrics. The interface also permits you to build custom playlists—over and above those from iTunes—off the cuff. In addition, the app imports all iTunes library data. MARVEL at this: FREE for iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, and Google Play Android.


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Guy Travel By ROBERT ELIAS DEATON

O

f all the seven populated Hawaiian Islands, Maui has always been our favorite. Despite its lack of any gay clubs (at one time there were three including a local franchise of Hamburger Mary’s), there SUNRISE ON MAUI, are several gay beaches—one white powder and the other red sand), plus rain forests, volcanic calderas, picturesque waterfalls, an historic whaling village, and some of the most beautiful vistas anywhere. And it’s not just our opinion. Even the Hawaiians have a saying: Maui no ka oi—Maui is the best. Any visit to this island of valleys and flowers begins at the Kahului Airport where the minute you deplane, you will know that you’re in a very special place. The air around you is filled with the fragrance of this tropical paradise. The smiles you receive will be genuine, and the absence of worries and time immediately obvious. Set your watch to Maui time, which is six hours behind Eastern Standard Time in the real world. But that is unfair to even say that since once you step on the soil of this special place, the only thing you’ll experience is eternal nirvana. Most tourists head immediately to one of two places. Wailea on the South shore or Lahaina on the West. The South has its champions for its beautiful golf courses, shopping and luxury hotels including the Grand Wailea Resort (3850 Wailea Alanui Drive), where you’ll find the grandest gardens in all of the Hawaiian Islands, spread over 40 acres of lush. Prices for rooms and suites are grand as well ranging from $489-$1,300 a night. And worth every penny. If that is too rich for your blood, go and visit the place at the very least and pretend you’re a guest. It’s that special. Nest door, in the beach village of Makena, is the area’s closest gay stretch of sand known as Little Beach. It’s a mile past the Maui Prince Hotel (5400 Makena Alanui), at Makena State Park. Public parking is free, and so is the beauty. Head toward the ocean and hang a right, follow people climbing over a small lava hill and prepare for nude

HAWAII

sunbathing, hanky-panky in the brambles, and water so clear that you can see the fish joining you for a swim. On the West side of the island, our favorite hotel is the Westin Maui Resort and Spa (2365 Kaanapali Pkwy). Priced from $359 a night, it’s directly on the ocean with great gym facilities and close to the whaling village of Lahaina, where you’ll find one of Maui’s best restaurants: David Paul’s Island Grill (900 Front Street). For the more adventurous, you can drive completely around the West Maui Mountains (an extinct volcano), past the Ritz Carlton hotel and the oldest one-room churches on the island. Continue heading north and you’ll discover Ho‘okipa Beach Park (Hana Highway & Hookipa Park) just past the DAVID PAUL’S surfing village of ISLAND GRILL Paia. Windsurfing and kite surfing is world-class here, so look but don’t touch unless you’re extremely experienced. Continue to travel East for another 52 miles and you’ll arrive in Hana, 59 bridges and 620 curves later. This tiny village has long been considered the last Hawaiian frontier. Its colorful Hasegawa’s General Store (5165 Hana Hwy) and its fivestar Travaasa Hana Hotel (5031 Hana Hwy) are adjacent to Hana’s Red Sand Beach—a little climbing is required to reach this slice of heaven. Hana is also the home of the gorgeous Blue Pool and Waterfall, O’heo Gulch Pools, plus the Grave of Charles Lindbergh in nearby Kipahulu. Pa`a ka waha,

Robert Elias Deaton is a world-traveling epicure who enjoys the finer things in life.

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Guy Fitness

By TOM BONANTI

Your Health and Beauty: An Investment in Sweat!

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aintaining a fitness lifestyle can be a daunting endeavor even for the most dedicated enthusiast. Adhering to a sound, healthy nutritional plan, keeping up with regular medical checkups, and getting enough sleep are simply a beginning. Sticking to these basic habits along with meeting the demands of work and a social life can be overwhelming. So how do you squeeze in a regular exercise program including cardio-vascular training and weights on top of everything else? I say, you make time for the things that are important to you and there is nothing more vital than your own good health. Working out with weights and doing regular cardio, if you do them correctly, are draining and time consuming. Yet their benefits are infinite. Just look into the mirror after a couple of weeks of working out and your self esteem will soar as you see the results. And you’ll not only look better, you’ll live longer and save hundreds of thousands of dollars in health care expenses. Doubt me? Just get sick, I mean really sick, like a week in the hospital and you’ll see what I mean. Following is just a partial list of the benefits of putting in a little time, energy, and sweat in the gym. Exercise lowers your resting pulse rate and helps keep your blood pressure under control. Working out increases lean muscle and the more of this you have, the more calories and fat you burn all the time even while you’re sleeping. Doing regular cardio and hitting the weights lowers LDL levels (bad cholesterol) by increasing HDL levels (good cholesterol), thereby preventing heart disease and strokes. Light to moderate weight training not only produces pretty muscles, but also increases bone density and overall flexibility. Impressed? Well, the list goes on and on! Why not start today and design a winning strategy to get and stay healthy, fit and fabulous. Consider these three factors as you ponder a program: schedule flexibility, workout simplification, and diversification.

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Schedule flexibility is crucial in these times of unplanned events, chaotic traffic and even more chaotic work schedules. A sharp guy begins the day with a plan so that he can accomplish everything that is important. Nothing is more important than your workout, so schedule a time and try to stick with it. If you can, try to schedule your workout at a time when you are at your best, i.e., if you are a morning person, try exercising before you go to work. Join a gym that is convenient, preferably located between work and home. A lot of busy guys make a standing date with a personal trainer to insure that they will get in effective and challenging sessions. Most gyms have extended hours, so if you get derailed don’t get flustered. Your body responds to exercise whether it’s 7 a.m. or 7 p.m. Make it happen. Workout simplification and diversification allow you to train regardless of what you had planned and where you had planned it. If you were set to hit the weight room at 6 p.m., but had to work late, then pump-up at home. A few weights are inexpensive, but they can make a big difference on days you don’t get to the gym. And if you’re too tired to lift, then do some push-ups, crunches and stretches. Take a bike ride around the neighborhood. Take a swim. Walk your dog. Do something, anything. Just put those muscles into motion, burn some calories and get that heart pumping! You’ll fell better, release stress, and live longer. Exercise is addictive, the more you do it, the better you’ll feel and the more you’ll want to indulge yourself! Of all the investments you’ll make, a commitment to regular exercise will reap the greatest benefits. It’s spring, a time for new beginnings. Put down that phone, get off that lounge chair or bar stool, toss away the drink and schedule regular time at the gym. Life is too short to miss out on being all that you can be. For more inspiration on how to get the most out of your workouts contact trainertomb@aol.com. I’d love to hear your comments and answer your questions.

Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and owner of Pump’n Inc Gym at 1271 NE 9th Ave, Fort Lauderdale. For more tips on how to get bigger beefier arms by summer, give me a shout at TrainerTomB@aol.com


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By Gregg Shapiro

“Magic” Man: An interview with Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters

Magic Hour” (Casablanca), Scissor Sisters’ fourth studio album, has all the necessary ingredients to cast a spell on their devoted fans, and to earn them plenty of new ones. Album opener “Baby Come Home” has a comfortable familiarity, and even a touch of classic Prince. The galloping “Only The Horses” is a perfect summer single, the kind of Tea Dance anthem that is sure to fill dance-floors. The irresistible “Let’s Have A Kiki” and “Keep Your Shoes On” broaden both the horizons of Scissor Sisters and their followers. Guy Magazine’s Gregg Shapiro spoke this month with front-man Jake Shears.

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Guy Magazine: I’d like to begin by talking about the cover art on “Magic Hour,” which is reminiscent of the album covers that British design team Hipgnosis did for Pink Floyd and others. Scissor Sisters covered Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” on the self-titled debut: Would it be safe to say that there is a connection? Jake Shears: It’s definitely not a coincidence. Hipgnosis was always a huge influence for what we were doing. There’s been a running theme on all of our sleeves. The link is there’s always something happening in the middle and there’s somebody turning away from you. The fact that we changed it from a person to an animal was another thing. We like our covers to have a subtle mystery, and the color and mood that go along with it. “Night Work” was no exception. It’s totally influenced by Hipgnosis. It’s also a reference to the fact that we’re still— fortunately or unfortunately—an album band. GM: “Magic Hour” is being released domestically on Casablanca, a record label known for its association with the seminal days of disco music. Is this significant to you and Scissor Sisters? JS: [Laughs] We’re happy to have a label in America that wants to put us out at all! It’s super exciting to put it out on Casablanca, just because of the history. I’m happy that they revived the imprint, it is super cool. And I like our label-mates.

GM: Scissor Sisters is considered a New York band, but it sounds like California has found its way in on songs such as “San Luis Obispo” and “Year of Living Dangerously,” which includes mention of the “freeway,” something that conjures Los Angeles. Is Southern California competing with New York for your attention? JS: I had some really amazing times in Southern California this last year, and made some great friends. I love being in L.A. I also spent some time in San Francisco last year with the musical “Tales of the City.” I have a hard time calling myself a New Yorker anymore. I live out of a suitcase, and will continue to live out of a suitcase for quite a while. I have a house down in Tennessee now. I have a house in London now. I’m a bit all over the place [laughs]. GM: Drugs make a number of appearances throughout “Magic Hour”—in songs such as “Baby Come Home,” “Keep Your Shoes On,” “Inevitable,” and “Shady Love.” Is this cause for alarm? JS: [Laughs] It depends on who you’re asking, and about whom. No, drugs have always been a theme through the lyrics that I write. I think they’re ever present in our lives, whether it’s alcohol, or pot, or club drugs, or antidepressants, or Ambien, or whatever. Everybody’s on something, and they affect all of us in different ways. They can ruin lives, they can save lives. In American culture, especially, they’re omnipresent. Substances and chemicals are everyplace, whether it’s espresso or crystal meth, it’s everywhere. Continued on Page 78

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GM: “Let’s Have a Kiki” is the kind of song that makes you smile and dance at the same time. Is the voice mail message that opens the song real or was it scripted for the song? JS: It’s all improv. We wanted to create a setting, to set up a story for where you would have, or why anyone would have a kiki, or what would make you feel like having a kiki. Somebody’s having a bad night, but it’s all going to be better when you go with your friends. We wanted to give it the setting before the song kicked in. It was important for us to set that place, and that answering machine monologue was the device that we used to do it. GM: “Baby Come Home” and “Self Control” are songs that reflect relationship uncertainty, while “Best In Me” is a wonderful example of musical domestic bliss. Do you prefer writing and performing songs about healthy or unhealthy relationships? JS: It’s a lot harder to write something uplifting than it is to write something melancholic. It’s really hard to write something uplifting about subject matter that’s really a bummer. That’s my favorite thing. To write happy-sounding songs about things which aren’t necessarily that. I like writing happy-sounding songs about relationships and situations that are necessarily something to get happy about. GM: This year has seen the loss of a number of important musical icons, including dance music legends Donna Summer, Whitney Houston, and Robin Gibb. Do you have any thoughts or comments? JS: I think when stuff like that happens, it makes me reflect on what an artist has brought to the culture, to pop culture, to the world, and how they’ve influenced and inspired people. It’s a great moment to reflect on that, and honor those

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people for what they’ve done in their lifetimes. It also reminds me of everyone’s mortality. When it all comes down to it, Whitney Houston was just a person—as are all of us, as are any of the biggest legends around, who will live and die. We’re all just people, nobody’s superhuman, nobody’s immortal. It constantly reminds me, especially with Whitney’s death in particular, that we’re all just people. There are some that do incredible work, and it’s great to honor the work that they’ve done when something like that happens. But it definitely just makes me think of mortality, and the fact nobody lives forever—but the music can. GM: Scissor Sisters is known for amazing live shows. What can fans expect from the “Magic Hour” tour? JS: It’s so exciting, because we get to throw out a lot of songs that we played for 10 years! There are going to be some songs that people will not hear [laughs] that they might expect to, which is thrilling for the band [laughs]. Having four albums now—it’s like, “Oh my God, we don’t have to play this song anymore!” It really feels like a brand-new show, because we’ve brought in album tracks from previous albums that haven’t been heard in a long time. Likewise, there are songs that have been heard throughout our tours over the last 10 years that we have taken out of the show and replaced with really amazing stuff off of “Magic Hour.” The set list is wicked—it’s really cool! The way the songs flow into each other is really amazing, and the music direction is amazing. There’s more choreography. I think people will have a blast. It’s a fun show. I know the band has been having a blast playing these songs.


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Love Jones

By JUSTIN JONES

The Cowboy Maxim

M

y ex was cruel. And hot. And masculine. And mean. And [insert any positive adjective here]. And [insert any negative adjective here]. He possessed a blend of the most wonderful—as well as the most tragic—qualities one might imagine an ex having: Enough good in him to fall in love with, and keep me hooked, and enough bad in him to cry over (and keep me hooked). Above anything else, though, he was smart. He wasn’t an intellectual by any stretch, but his common sense and chess-strategist-like thinking was impressive. He knew, for example, how to disarm me in any argument. I called it his “Cowboy Maxim.” “Who is that?” I question him in bed one morning. He’s leaning off the edge and texting someone. Silence.

“WHO are you texting?!” I ask, more forcefully. I suspect he’s cheating on me. The notion calls for sleepless nights, but my distrust isn’t enough for me to break up with him. I am in love, after all. He doesn’t respond, and still he texts. I grab his shoulder and lightly smack his arm. “BRADLEY! Are you texting that boy I saw you with?” He turns toward me and kisses my lips. He tickles my neck with his scruff. I’m pissed, of course, but I can’t help but laugh. I resort to punching his arm to get him off me (an act that he thinks is cute, which further infuriates me). He suddenly jumps off the bed and runs into his walk-in closet. I’m left by myself, my sides hurting from laughing. I sit up, frustrated, and suddenly very weary. I’m insanely jealous now, and whether it’s the boy with whom he’s cheating on me, or his mother, he knows his silence as to the question of whom he was texting pisses me off. “BRADLEY!” I yell. “Please tell me you weren’t texting that boy.” “I wasn’t texting that boy,” he says happily from his closet. This angers me even more. “No, tell me the truth! Were you texting him or not?” There is a silence, and then from the closet he emerges wearing only underwear, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat: a combination that, for whatever reason, never ceases to cure my peeve. He smiles at me as he walks over to the bed. “Why, hello there, young man,” he says in an exaggerated western accent. He puts one leg up on the bed. The shift in weight emphasizes his muscular thighs. UGH. Why does he have to do this? Can’t he see that I’m mad and that I wanna stay mad?! He does this all the time, sometimes with flowers in hand. I can’t pinpoint what it is about him in this moment. He’s still the man who pissed me off moments ago. But the scene is too seductive. I fall for it every time. He kneels on the bed, and the scene gets graphic. An hour later, he’ll be holding me. I will have forgotten that I was ever mad. And he will continue to be him, the man with the Cowboy Maxim.

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Justin Jones, 25, is a writer based in Minneapolis. In addition to his column lovejones, Justin pens Through These Eyes, a bi-weekly column

guy magazine Magazine. He writes about things like being alive, being in love, and drinking too much. Facebook.com/JustinJonesWriter. for Lavender


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