SAME-SEX PARENTS TO CREATE BABIES FROM SKIN CELLS WITHIN TWO YEARS
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I have been so copied by those people who have made fortunes that people assume I am that rich. But I did things for the excitement, the dare, the fact that it was new, not for the money, and too many times I was the first, not the beneficiary. [She reportedly dishes several singers including Madonna and Britney Spear.]
By Adam Cohen BORING Straight people are boring. They get so excited about lube in TV commercials. So basic.
POOR KARDASHIANS Who are “Blac China” and “Amber Rose?” Are they poor man’s versions of the Kardshians?
- Legendary performer Grace Jones, in an excerpt from her book, I’ll Never Write My Memoirs,” which will be published Sept. 24
FEELING LIKE ROSIE Ugh! I feel more gross and bloated than Rosie O’Donnell at a corndog eating contest.
LIP SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE... “Today is the big day! Jesus take the heels!” MICHAEL RANEY, Wilton Manors personality, referring to his participation in the Lip Sync Spectacular at Hunters Nightclub on Sept. 16. The fundraiser for the Wings Foundation helps flight attendants in need.
KIM DAVIS IS NO HERO
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JUST ADAM
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Random thoughts and quotes on Facebook this week...
Miss Jones dishes...
YES, JOY BEHAR, NURSES USE STETHOSCOPES TOO!
certificates to an interracial couple, would people cheer her? Would presidential candidates flock to her side? In our society, we obey civil laws, not religious ones. To suggest otherwise is, simply put, entirely unAmerican.”
Nurses in hospitals do it all, and some make the difference if you live or die in trauma. Some continue to help you feel better and some just show they are there for you and check on you, [despite] being over worked and understaffed ... and YES they use stethoscopes when appropriate. [The View host, Joy] Behar needs to apologize to the thousands of under appreciated and underpaid hardworking caregivers.
GEORGE TAKEI, actor, director, author and activist, on the actions on Kentucky clerk Kim Davis.
DR. DONNA WATSON, Fort Lauderdale chiropractic physician, responding to careless comments made by View host Joy Behar about a nurse in last week’s Miss America pageant. Behar wondered aloud why the nurse was carrying “a doctor’s stethoscope.”
OH, DOROTHY! OK, kids... Now remember that today is not just Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year, but it is also actually the 30th anniversary of the premiere of “The Golden Girls,” a show that has indelibly changed my life since I was a young little fagling. So in accordance with tradition, I'm about to have a bottle of wine and a cheesecake, and then head out to the Rusty Anchor to do my best rendition of Hard Hearted Hannah. WHAT’S IN A NAME? The new Miss America’s name is Betty Cantrell? That sounds like the name of an elderly woman who wears hair rollers out in public to the local Winn Dixie, stuffs tissues in her bra to have them on hand “just in case,” and will slip silverware into her purse at a restaurant now and then. ENOUGH OF KIM DAVIS Ugh! Enough of this Kentucky hillbilly licensing clerk coverage! If I have to look at those jowls, tragic split ends, and clearance items from Dress Barn circa 1983, I’m going to have a messy gay breakdown! ADAM COHEN is South Florida’s #1 social commentator. The best of his weekly Facebook musings are published in this column every week.
September 17, 2015
“Well, this is a bit of a circus. So let us be clear: this woman is no hero to be celebrated. She broke her oath to uphold to Constitution and defied a court order so she could deny government services to couples who are legally entitled to be married. She is entitled to hold her religious beliefs, but not to impose those beliefs on others. If she had denied marriage
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WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING
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KILL GAYS THE
‘The greatest human disaster of modern times’ is unfolding in Syria
A NEWSWATCH SPECIAL REPORT By Richard Hack
September 17, 2015
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eing gay carries a death sentence in Syria. Amid the chaos of a brutal, multi-front war between government forces, Islamist fighters, moderates and Kurds, religious hardliners execute homosexuals by hurling them from rooftops as punishment for an ungodly lifestyle. Children watch and party in the streets at the sight of the carnage. Subhi Nahas, a gay 28-year-old who fled the city of Idlib, was afraid for his life, yet he is one of the lucky ones. He has managed to escape his country, and is one of some 1500 refugees from Syria that have
A gay Syrian being pushed to his death.
already been accepted by the US for permanent resettlement. Meanwhile, Syria’s civil war has flooded borders with four million refugees, most of which are heading to Europe. In the U.S., President Barack Obama announced plans to resettle 10,000 Syrians in the US to ease the crisis. But it has been a highly controversial call. While refugee groups are insisting the US do more to help these homeless and now countryless immigrants, others are throwing up a cautionary flag. CONTINUED
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DEATH AT EVERY DOOR... By Subhi Nahas, 28, a gay Syrian refugee
Photo: Reuters/Mike Segar
found out, these refugees suffer constant violence and harassment by locals and by other refugees. In the streets, near their homes--everywhere. “The police, who are homophobic even in the best of circumstances, dismiss these attacks as an “internal community matter.” But the refugees can’t defend themselves against this constant onslaught. They have little money, and their families are no help since they’ve rejected them for being LGBTI. Many of the refugees have to sell their bodies just to eat. It’s incredibly dangerous work. And time is running out,” Grungras says. “Most LBGT refugees have no idea how to apply for refugee status, and most are afraid to ask anyone for fear of being found out as LGBT. The waiting times for clearance is years. Years! These sweet young LGBT men and women – most of them under 25 -- are being forgotten and abandoned by the international community. We cannot let that happen. Even if they are lucky, they will have to wait years. Some of them won’t make it that long. “They need help to get access to and through the system. They need to get resettled in the US or Canada as quickly as possible. “These refugees don’t want a handout. They need a fair chance to start over.”
I was terrified to go out. Nor was my home safe, as my father, who suspiciously monitored my every move, had learned I was gay. I bear a scar on my chin as a token of his rage. Death threats followed me to Turkey. A former school friend from Idlib named Khalil had joined ISIL. He relayed through a mutual friend that he wanted to kill me, aiming to go to paradise. He then called me from inside Turkey threatening that “I would see his face soon.” I was terrified. ISIL operatives circulated freely where I lived, and it was only a matter of time before I would be found and killed. By then I had already been recognized as a refugee by this great body’s Refugee Agency the UNHCR, and was awaiting resettlement to a third country.
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I urge you, representatives of governments of conscience, to heed this plea and open your doors to those who’ll survive this greatest human disaster of modern times. I implore you to do everything in your power to give sexual and gender minorities and other vulnerable refugees safe haven where they can again know security.
September 17, 2015
His decision has been controversial. Pressure groups complain that it only represents a tiny fraction of Syria's refugees. Some US politicians warn of extremists slipping through the net and orchestrating another Boston Marathon-type attack. The 10,000 refugees are set to be admitted in the fiscal year that begins on October 1. They will number among the 70,000 refugees that the United States accepts from around the world each year at a cost of about $16,000 per new arrival. A state department official told Al Jazeera that most Syrians come from camps run by the UN refugee agency, UNHCR, in Jordan, Turkey, Lebanon, Egypt and Iraq. It does not matter if they can speak English or have college degrees. According to Al Jazeera, these constitute the "most vulnerable" Syrians, including gays such as Nahas, torture victims, families headed by women, people in need of medical care, and members of oppressed religious groups, added the official, speaking on the condition that she would not be named. Neil Grungras, the founding director of the Organization for Refuge, Asylum, and Migration (ORAM), calls the situation “desperate” for the LGBT population. “Hundreds have escaped to Turkey, Lebanon and Jordan. And while they do what they can to blend in and not be
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Subhi Nahas, 28, is one of the lucky ones who escaped certain death for being a gay man.
“ “ “
I watched in fear as the Al Qaida branch, Jabhat Al Nusra, took Idlib in October 2012. After arresting and torturing one effeminate man, they announced at a mosque that they would cleanse the town of those involved in sodomy. More arrests followed, and many more men were tortured to confess their sins. Some were killed. They and other Islamist groups executed more accused homosexuals that year.
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THE AGENDA INTERVIEW
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RICHARD HACK: You were outed to your family by a psychotherapist you had been sent to see. What was the reaction from your family and friends?
Subhi Nahas
Subhi’s story... EXCLUSIVE By Richard Hack
September 17, 2015
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Much has been written about Subhi Nahas, the gay Syrian refugee who landed in the United States four months ago, after escaping his hometown of Idlib in the northwest region of the Muslim country. The stench of gun power and civil war rolled through the agricultural village. First, the al Qaedalinked group Jabhat Al Nusra took over his town, announcing in mosques that they would eradicate gays. Then came ISIS whose mortar shells exploded throughout the night, and videos of gay men being hurled from buildings became a daily reminder that of his perilous situation. A captive in his own home, Subhi also had his father to fear—a violent man whose beatings left the refugee scared and battered. Through shear determination, the soft-spoken 28-year-old, escape his homeland by way of Lebanon and the Turkey before being rescued by the American LGBT refugee group ORAM International. On August 25, 2015, Subhi made history at the United Nations by being the first LGBT refugee to address the Security Council in a special session about what he calls the “greatest human disaster of modern times.” In an exclusive interview with Florida Agenda, Subhi reveals the horror of his life, both at home and on the run, for the first time in poignant detail. While his tale is hardly unique, it is our first insight into the reality of gay life in Syria, as well as the urgency for the LGBT community to use its collective power to provide aid and action.
SUBNI: My father had sent to this doctor to be evaluated and he told my father I was gay. I was 15 years old and my life was never the same. My father told his friends, and they told their friends, and I became an outcast. When I graduated from high school, I went to Al-Baath University and it continued even there. People didn’t want to be seated near me. So after the first year, I just stayed at home and continued to study there. Q: So when did the violence actually begin? A: The Serbian military came first to Idlib. They had their guns and no tolerance for LGBT people. They were followed by the Al Nusra Front who announced they would cleanse the town of gays and anybody involved with sodomy. That was really, really scary. And at the same time, my relationship with my father was deteriorating. I did not leave the house, or do any outside activities at all. I’d send my little brother to do errands, but I could not go out myself at all. Q: When did you decide that you had to leave your home and your country? A: When my father became physically violent with me, I knew I had to leave. But at the time, with the civil war, we had blackouts. There was no communication, no Internet, no cell phones or even land lines. So I had to wait. With the shelling and the attacks, it was not a safe time for me. And the noise was intense. After three months of this, I was finally able to contact a friend of mine in Lebanon and he offered to house me there for a while until I could find some grounds to put my
feet at. Q: So how did you get out without anyone trying to stop you? A: My friend in Lebanon offered to pay for my travel, and late in 2012, I found a taxi cab driver who said he would take me. At the border, they don’t care about who’s leaving unless your name is registered. It was a two-hour trip that actually took eight hours, because every few hundred meters there was another check point set up by the regime or by al-Nusra who would stop the cab and we would be searched. I wore very plain clothing and didn’t speak much, hoping not to give myself away as gay. I even deleted all the data from my mobile phone. Q: How much baggage did you take with you? A: I have a suitcase and a small carrying case. Q: After you arrived in Lebanon, did you feel a sense of relief? A: I felt wonderful because for the first time in years, I was able to sleep through the night. There were no bombings or gun fights. There was quiet! I thought, “This is what it’s like to be normal.” Q: And what about the gay friends you were leaving behind? I didn’t have any gay friends in Syria. There was no community. Q: How long did you stay in Lebanon? I stayed for six months, before I moved on to Turkey to find work. There was no work for Syrians in Lebanon, and it was very expensive, even by U.S. standards. So I picked myself and made arrangements to move, again by myself. Q: Did you find work in Turkey? I had met the chief editor of an LGBT magazine in Turkey, and
he hired me to work there. I stayed with him for three months. Since I didn’t know the language, I didn’t know what people were saying about it me, so I felt a little safer than Lebanon even. Q: Did you feel welcomed? I was in the extreme south and it was not very welcoming. Again, there is no community. Then, I heard from a friend from Syria who had become affiliated with ISIS that contacted me from inside Turkey and said he was going to kill me. I knew he was serious, and that he would absolutely track me down and kill me. Q: So how did you get out of Turkey? I had been recognized as a refugee by UNHCR, the refugee agency of the United Nations. Around the same time, I became aware of ORAM, the Organization for Refuge, Asylum, and Migration, headed by Neil Grungras. ORAM resettled me to San Francisco in the U.S. and I work for them now, training others to help refugees. Q: How have you found America? I think how wonderful it is. I can begin my life again, and have a house and a family, and actually feel safe. It was an emotional time for me. I owned my life again. Q: And have you gone out to clubs in San Francisco; gone to the Castro district? Not yet. I haven’t met that many people, and I don’t want to go alone. Right now I’m satisfied to just see how many people are able to celebrate who they are. Q: What about finally having your first relationship? Anyone special for Subhi Nahas? I did meet someone recently, but I can’t call it a relationship—yet. It’s too soon. I’ll (long pause) keep you posted.
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DESPERATION IN SYRIA
This is a country where it is a matter of honor to kill gays, just as it is to kill women suspected of having sex out of wedlock. They call it honor killings, but honor has little to do with this barbarism.
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E ARE AT THE beginning of an enormous crisis of humanity seldom seen before in history. While the brutality of ISIS has left its mark on every civilized society — even those you have yet to feel its inhumanity to man — there is no single group which has By felt its unbridled wrath RICHARD more than our LGBT brothers and sisters. HACK Not since Hitler rounded up the gays in an ethnic cleansing of such magnitude that the world has yet to completely appreciate the monstrosity of it all still, ISIS has routinely bragged about its hatred of homosexuality. The sight of videos in which man are tossed from multistory buildings to their death in front of cheering children is as sickening as it is prophetic. At its height, Syria had a population of 22 million people — this just two years ago. Currently, of that group, there are 12 million displaced from their homes by its civil war, and 4 million listed as refugees fleeing to countries like Lebanon (currently estimated to house 1 million) and Turkey (holding 2 million). The rest have tried to make it to Germany, Hungary, Austria and France. And the U.S., the richest country in the world? We have agreed to accept a laughable 10,000. While it is difficult enough to be a refugee from Syria, imagine the plight of the LGBT migrant. He or she is judged to be dirty, mentally unstable, and a sin in the eyes of Allah. Gays are hated, taunted, tortured and imprisoned in Syria every day. Current counts place their number at just under 2 million. Two million without any organization, support groups, newspapers, or even meeting places. It is suicide to declare one’s sexual orientation
via the Internet, in a country without Grindr, Scruff or Adam2Adam. This is a country where it is a matter of honor to kill gays, just as it is to kill women suspected of having sex out of wedlock. They call it honor killings, but honor has little to do with this barbarism. The LGBT refugees who are escaping the arbitrary ruthlessness of ISIS, face the equally arbitrary ruthlessness of his fellow refugees. There is no sorrow connected with this act. If anything, the mood is more celebration, as the murderer is celebrated for the cleansing of society. We don’t need war to see this behavior in Muslim nations, but the brutality of ISIS is the perfect cover for the murder that continue inside the refugee camps themselves. What little real hope these LGBT refugees have comes in the form of an organization known as ORAM, headquartered in San Francisco. It’s founder and executive director Neil Grungras is fighting an international system and religious beliefs that make rescuing even a single LGBT refugee difficult.
While it is difficult enough to be a refugee from Syria, imagine the plight of the LGBT migrant. He or she is judged to be dirty, mentally unstable, and a sin in the eyes of Allah. Gays are hated, taunted, tortured and imprisoned in Syria every day.
“Hundreds have escaped to Turkey, Lebanon and Jordan,” Grungras says. “The situation is desperate. They do what they can to blend in and not be found out, but these refugees suffer constant violence and harassment by locals and by other refugees. In the streets, near their homes, everywhere. The police, who are homophobic even in the best of circumstances, dismiss these attacks are an “internal community matter. “But the refugees can’t defend themselves against this constant onslaught. The refugees brought everything they had, but their resources are dwindling. And family help is not an option because they’ve rejected them for being LGBTI.” It is not uncommon to watch guys in Florida dancing and partying in area clubs, dropping hundreds of dollars in pursuit of their pleasure. There is no thought of Syria or the struggle of displaced LGBT brothers or sisters. It is, after all, another world. Someone else’s problem. Yet, as we watch history repeat itself, there can be little doubt that this barbaric behavior cannot be contained and will spread as long as it is allowed to exist at all. “We’re asking the U.S. LGBTQ community to work with us,” Grundgras told the Agenda in an exclusive interview from Turkey. “Give whatever you can so we and our dedicated volunteers can quickly get these refugees to freedom and safety. To give online, go to our website at www.oraminternational.org. “People who can’t afford to give financially can still help by forming guardian groups for newly-arrived refugees in their town in the U.S. Some may have spare rooms in their house to put up a newly arrived refugee during the first months. Some are well-connected and will be able to help a new refugee find a job,” Grungras says. “Every LGBTI person can do something. The only thing we cannot afford to do is nothing.” Amen.
she (according to the flawed arguMuslims and Christians…each side ment) should be able to use business insisting they had the divine authority or even government to call the shots. And positions to deny the current “religious members of that Using religion as freedom” argument group service. is but one more atan excuse to Those who would tempt to use a mymarginalize gays opic and tribal use “religious freedom” as a weapon and lesbians has understanding of reagainst gays and lesligion in a way that nothing to do bians (or any other denies the full huwith religious group they dislike) manity of others. aren’t celebrating I value and celefreedom... our freedom to worbrate religious freeship as we choose; dom, but very they are insisting that their prejudices simply, using religion as an excuse to should have the weight of religious marginalize gays and lesbians has devotion, and their religion should nothing to do with religious freedom; trump all other religious convictions, it’s just one more attempt to demosocial institutions, and public connize and dehumanize “the Other.” Retracts. ligion at its best will resist such They don’t want religious freedom; oppressive ideology. they want the power to deny freedom Religious freedom is the freedom to and equality to others and they want worship as we wish; it is not a gayreligion to be the unquestioned aubashing license. thority that gives them the power to do so. Rev. Dr. Durrell Watkins is the Senior World history is littered with battles Minister of Sunshine Cathedral in between kings and popes, Catholics Fort Lauderdale. His columm apand Protestants, Muslims and Jews, pears alternate weeks in the Agenda.
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PAUL BERGE
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munities. reedom of (and This heritage of relifrom) religion is a gious freedom, religious exprimary American perimentation, and religious value. American living is one that I think we history is religious should honor. We aren’t a history. From Native Lutheran nation or a Catholic American Shamanism to nation or an Eastern OrthoCatholics seeking freedom nation or a Muslim nafrom Protestant persecuBy Rev. dox tion (or even officially a tion, from Quakers seeking freedom to practice DURRELL “Christian” nation), but we a nation where all of their quiet worship and WATKINS are those religious experiences courageous pacifism to and so many more can be Jewish people fleeing perfound, shared, and practiced secution and pogroms in Eastern Europe, from new religions openly. That really is quite wondersuch as Christian Science and Latter ful! Day Saints (Mormons) experiencing But lately, we are hearing a lot about “religious freedom” in a differand expressing religious devotion in ent context. The term isn’t used as ways that differed at the time from much recently to describe our freethe mainstream to the birth of Pentecostalism, from Eastern gurus coming dom to be religiously diverse, to be religious or not, to worship at home to the United States to teach meditaor synagogue, church or coven, tion, reincarnation, and the unity of mosque or shrine, but rather, “relithe human family to the beginning of gious freedom” is now being used as the predominantly LBGT Metropolian excuse to limit civil liberties and tan Community Churches…our nation has been a place where religion equal opportunity; as long as one has flourished and religious people claims one’s prejudice against another group is a religious value, then he or have been able to form strong com-
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OPINION What religious freedom is – and isn’t
THE AGENDA WANTS TO KNOW... What’s your opinion? Tell us what you think about any topic of general interest to our readers all over Florida and the United States. September 17, 2015
We welcome your opinion via e-mail, up to 400 words in length. Please provide a name and daytime number for verification. Simply e-mail submissions to Editor@MMPLGBT.com. Find us and like us on Facebook to stay informed on breaking news.
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BIDEN HIS TIME. BUT WILL HE DECLARE AND CAN HE WIN?
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CAPITOL BEAT Take a deep breath. Then read this number: $884 billion.
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Photos: Wikipedia.com
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“Ridin With
Biden”
hat was the buying power of the LGBT community in the U.S. in 2014. That means there should be plenty of deep LGBT pockets to help fund a presidential run for one of the more outspoken allies of the movement ever to hold higher office. That candidate would be Joe Biden. Except that, despite the fun “Ridin By With Biden” Linda catchphrase Pentz of the Draft Biden campaign, the sitting U.S. Vice President is still pondering his options. Why the delay? There has been much talk about his personal situation — the devastating loss of his son Beau in May to brain cancer at the age of 46 — as a reason for Biden’s hesitation. Many thought Beau might one day make a run for the presidency himself. If so, that might have sidelined any ambitions on that score from what would have been a proud father. Instead, now he is bereft. But the greater concern has been about fundraising, with suggestions that it is just too late to get into the field. That is a sad commentary on our electoral system which undemocratically affords the wealthiest the best chance of getting seen and heard and, thereby, elected. Or at the very least, nominated. In any case, Biden should run. Soon. With the assorted Republican mavericks dominating the
headlines in their quirky quests for the presidency, a Biden announcement could begin to liven up the Democratic field. When embattled NBC anchorman, Brian Williams, referred to a certain politician’s “uncontrolled verbosity” and tendency to be a “gaffe machine,” he wasn’t talking about Donald Trump. Fundraising from the deeppocketed disposable income of LGBT voters shouldn’t be a problem for Biden who would be an unarguably stellar candidate for the LGBT community. After all, as conversion therapy survivor Ryan Kendall joked to me in a recent interview, “Joe Biden outed President Obama.” And it’s true, in a way. In a May 2012 interview on NBC’s Meet the Press, Biden sent the White House into a bit of a tizzy when he stated in an off the cuff remark: “I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying one another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties.” Forty-eight hours later, President Obama abruptly stopped “evolving” on the issue and officially endorsed same-sex marriage. By June 26, 2015, the Obama White House was floodlit in rainbow colors to celebrate the Supreme Court’s landmark decision to legalize same-sex marriage across the country. So why is Biden, who is also resolutely pro-union, such a friend to the LGBT agenda? Here he is explaining it on May 17, 2015, the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia: “My father taught me the simple notion that everyone, ev-
erywhere is entitled to be treated with dignity and respect. When it comes to LGBT people, that simple proposition has been painfully difficult to accomplish over the years. But in the last decade, thanks to the astounding bravery of the LGBT community and those who have championed their cause, the United States has made remarkable progress toward the ultimate goal of equality in law and in life. Our progress remains incomplete, but the momentum has shifted in the right direction.” The Draft Biden Facebook and Twitter sites are full of glowing statistics offering other reasons to support Biden including his allegiance to the needs of working people and his strong views on climate change. Not to mention his outpolling Democratic candidates who are actually running. Curiously, there is little if any mention on the sites of LGBT issues, including silence on the Kim Davis saga which might have afforded Biden another golden opportunity to blurt something exciting or controversial. We’ll have to forego that fun this time. But the longer the question mark about his candidacy lingers, the more press and hype Biden gets. Which is probably strategically quite a smart play. Clearly, to win the nomination, Biden will need broad appeal beyond the LGBT community and its buying power. But he seems to both understand and make the connection across the board on social injustices. Consequently, even as the stereotypical older, white, affluent male, he is able to win support in demographics very different to his own. At the March 2015 Human Rights Campaign convention
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I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying one another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties.”
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iiiiiiiiiiiii
- Joe Biden the air while the Biden riders hit the road, looking for LGBT donors in key states such as New Hampshire, Iowa, South Carolina, and Nevada. It’s the campaign bus without a candidate. So will the Ridin With Biden chocolate bars that the Draft Biden 2016 Super Pac craftily handed out at the Democratic National Committee’s 2015 summer meeting in Minneapolis last month simply become a collector’s item (if indeed any went uneaten)? Or will the Obama-esque artwork on the wrapper evolve into a genuine presidential campaign poster? We should know the answer in the coming days or weeks.
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Linda Pentz is the Washington correspondent of the Florida Agenda. She can be contacted at lindapentz@mmplgbt.com. Follow her on Twitter @CapitolAgenda
September 17, 2015
in Washington, DC, Biden drew parallels between the civil rights and LGBT rights struggles, recalling the Selma demonstrations and attempts to cross the Edmund Pettus Bridge. “Without a good job, without a decent place to live, without a shot at a decent education, it’s very hard to make it today,” Biden told the audience. “Until everyone in the country – regardless of race, gender, religion, identity, orientation – has a fair shot of crossing that bridge all the way to the other side – that’s the legacy of Selma, that’s the challenge of Stonewall. That sensitivity clearly appeals to Draft Biden team members such as openly gay national finance chair, Jon Cooper. In a recent Reuters interview, Cooper said: “If Joe Biden does enter the presidential race, he’s going to get very strong support from the LGBT community and deservedly so.” That “if” continues to linger in
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CREEP OF THE WEEK
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By D’Anne Witowski
b Mat Staver
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ow that Kentucky clerk Kim exhibits B, C and D. But there is no Davis served time in jail after truth behind the claim that pastors and being held in contempt of court churches are going to be forced to marry for refusing to issue marriage same-sex couples. Nothing has changed licenses to same-sex couples, right- in this department, folks. Churches have wing Christians are in a “we told you always been able to refuse to marry so” frenzy. See, these folks have had a people they don’t want to marry in persecution fantasy since, well, forever, accordance with their religious beliefs. and have been screaming from the roofThe Supreme Court said that sametops that once marriage equality became sex couples cannot be denied civil the law of the land, they’d all be rounded marriages, which is exactly what Kim up and jailed. And so Kim Davis has Davis was doing. Had Davis been become a celeba pastor at her rity symbol of church, for examanti-Christian ple, she’d be oppression. within her rights She didn’t have not to marry gay to be in jail, mind couples. But she’s you. She had not a pastor. She’s plenty of other a civil servant. options. But she’d Staver, however, refused all manner sees something of compromises much more sinisand workarounds ter afoot. “You that had been know, back in the offered to her and 1930s, it began so in jail she sat, with the Jews,” he collecting martyr said, “where they points. were evicted from Most lawyers public employwouldn’t want to ment, then boycotsee their clients ted in their private behind bars and employment, then would work to get stigmatized and them out. Unfor- Matt Staver photo: washingtonblade.com that led to the tunately for Davis, gas chambers. I she’s being repremean, this is the sented by the rightnew persecution of wing Liberty Counsel and her lawyer, Christians here in this country.” Mat Staver, seems to be very pleased that Uh, no. Nope. All the nopes. Comparshe was in jail as it helps to perpetuate his ing the state of America today, a country Christian persecution fantasy. where Christians enjoy enormous privi“Kim Davis’ case is exhibit A,” lege, to Nazi Germany is not only insultStaver said Sept. 2 during an interview ing, it betrays a persecution complex on “Washington Watch.” “And she’s not that has gone beyond the pathological. the only one. We’ve got the baker, the If I were in jail, I’d want a lawyer that florists, uh, many others, photographers had a really firm grip on not only the and wedding chapels. We’re gonna have law, but also reality. Unfortunately for this happen to churches and pastors. Kim Davis, she’s not only on the wrong This is just the beginning. The question side of the law and the wrong side of is, are people gonna draw a line and say, history, but she’s stuck with a lawyer ‘Enough is enough.’ This is not the kind who is using her to advance his own of America that we want to live in.” delusional agenda. You could say she’s Okay, so he’s got the butcher, the getting what she deserves, but it’s still baker and the candlestick maker as gross.
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1501 NE 26th St., Wilton Manors 33305 954-564-9232 www.EtzChaimFlorida.org
Your Progressive Community Synagogue Welcoming All to Worship with Us High Holy Day Services
Rosh Hashanah Eve 9/13 and Morning 9/14 Kol Nidre 9/22 and Yom Kippur Morning 9/23 Tickets Required Yizkor, Healing & Music Service, Ne’ilah 9/23 Open to All Rosh Hashanah Luncheon 9/14 and Yom Kippur Break the Fast 9/23 Reservations Required For information about tickets, service times and reservations please call 954-564-9232 1501 NE 26th St, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-564-9232 ● www.EtzChaimFlorida.org
Congregation Etz Chaim
Shabbat services every Friday night at 8pm
September 17, 2015
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Shabbat services every Friday night at 8pm– all are welcome!
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September 17, 2015
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MICHAEL D. BECKER Attorney at Law
September 17, 2015
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b Brazil’s pentecostal church welcome gays which this week celebrated its ninth anniversary and the opening of its ninth branch with a raucous, theatrical service at a converted movie theater in a gritty Rio neighborhood. “They welcome you, they accept you, because God loves us the way we are,” said Katia Simene, a 48-year-old lesbian who joined about three years ago. Born a Catholic, Gladstone was 14 when his family converted to one of the Pentecostal churches that have proliferated mostly in poor neighborhoods. He was booted out after breaking off a four-year engagement and coming out as gay in his early 20s. “It was a huge scandal within the
church,” he said, shouting to be heard over blasting live music and the din of hundreds of worshippers streaming into the new church. “My would-be motherin-law told everyone — even the parrots, the dogs and the parakeets.” After that Gladstone felt he didn’t fit in at any church, so he founded Contemporary Christian in a thirdfloor walkup in Rio’s bohemian Lapa neighborhood. The first services attracted about a dozen parishioners. Among the early converts was Inacio, who had also called off an engagement to a woman and broken with a Pentecostal denomination. He and Gladstone have since married and adopted two chil-
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Here everyone understands that Jesus made us this way, and it’s beautiful.”
dren, now ages 11 and 12. Together they have spearheaded the church’s expansion to over 3,000 members in three cities, with another three branches expected by the end of the year. At this week’s service — a boisterous, nearly three-hour spectacle with choreographed dance routines and a spirited medley of devotional songs — several attendees joined the church by symbolically slipping on T-shirts that said “Smile, Jesus accepts you.” Some worshippers collapsed shaking to the floor, overcome by spiritual fervor and, perhaps, the tropical heat. While most of the congregation is gay, it includes some heterosexuals — most of whom have a loved one who’s gay. “We have parents of gays who are tired of homophobic speeches, tired of churches that use the sacred pulpit to preach about politics instead of God’s word,” Gladstone said. Lilian Sales, a 28-year-old saleswoman, said the church filled a spiritual void after she was drummed out of her traditional Pentecostal community. “At the other church, they think you’re gay because you’ve been possessed by the devil,” she said, flanked by her partner and their child. “Here everyone understands that Jesus made us this way, and it’s beautiful.”
September 17, 2015
RIO DE JANEIRO (AP) — With his booming voice and high-voltage charisma capable of working crowds of hundreds into a lather, Marcos Gladstone has all the trappings of a successful preacher. But Gladstone has something that most other Pentecostal leaders don’t — a husband. He and spouse Fabio Inacio are co-founders of the Contemporary Christian Church, one of a handful of Pentecostal denominations in Brazil that welcome gays and lesbians with open arms and was born out of Gladstone’s dream to preach “a gospel of love and acceptance for all people.” Barely a presence until a few decades ago, Pentecostals now make up one-fifth of the population in Brazil, which is home to more Roman Catholics than any other nation. They’re generally more socially conservative than their Catholic brethren: fiercely opposed to abortion, which is banned except in limited circumstances, and to gay marriage; in recent years, same-sex civil unions were allowed to be converted into full marriages. Some Brazilian Pentecostal churches even offer programs that claim to be capable of “curing” gay people. Not so at Contemporary Christian,
September 17, 2015
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NATION
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b HUCKABEE: ARKANSAS CLERKS COULD DENY GAY COUPLE UNIONS clerks to comply with the June U.S. Supreme Court ruling legalizing the unions. The governor’s office when asked Thursday about Huckabee’s comments said the state’s policy remains the same. “The governor has already weighed in on this subject,” said spokesman J.R. Davis, pointing back to Hutchinson’s directive issued to clerks in June. Hutchinson said at the time that it was up to clerks “to follow their own conscience,” adding that their job required them to issue same-sex marriage licenses and that it was not discretionary after the Supreme Court ruling. In an emailed statement, Rutledge’s spokesman wrote that her direction to clerks also has not changed. “Like the former Governor (Huckabee), Attorney General Rutledge has been clear in her disappointment regarding the legalization of samesex marriage and that the Supreme Court chose to ignore the traditional role of the States to define marriage,” wrote spokesman Judd Deere. “However, her guidance as Arkansas Attorney General to officials of the State of Arkansas as well as government officials of Arkansas counties and municipalities to issue and recognize the validity of same-sex marriage licenses has not changed.” In Arkansas, the Cleburne County clerk re-
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CONWAY, AR (AP) - Republican presidential candidate and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee said Thursday that since Arkansas hasn’t changed its laws to accommodate same-sex marriages, county clerks could rightfully withhold licenses from gay couples. During a brief press availability Thursday at the Conway Country Club, Huckabee answered a handful of questions- most of them about his recent rallies for Kentucky county clerk Kim Davis. Huckabee has been an outspoken supporter of the Democratic public official who spent time in jail after refusing court orders to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. “If the Arkansas Legislature or the federal Congress - the people’s elected representatives believe that the Supreme Court has properly interpreted the Constitution, then it is their duty to codify that into law and to express that into the form of legislation. Then it is the duty of the executive to sign it and agree to enforce it,” Huckabee said when asked what advice he would give Arkansas clerks. Huckabee didn’t say the clerks should flout the court decision, but said they should “follow the only law they have in front of them.” Current Gov. Asa Hutchinson and Attorney General Leslie Rutledge have told Arkansas
Photo: timstownhalls.com
signed in June saying she could not issue the licenses because of her faith. Two other clerks in Randolph and Van Buren counties briefly said they would not issue the same-sex marriage licenses, but changed their minds. Huckabee said he believed the judicial branch had overreached in both the Supreme Court decision and in the Kentucky judge’s decision to send Davis to jail without bail.
b NATIONAL HEADLINES EFFECTING THE LGBTQ COMMUMITY Three quit, Missouri district split by transgender dispute
CINCINNATI (AP) - Attorneys who brought the Ohio lawsuit that led to a U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage are asking a judge to approve their request for more than $1 million in legal fees and expenses. The attorneys say the request is reasonable because of the difficulty of the case and the importance of the issue. The attorneys also argued in a filing Friday for a court-ordered 50 percent enhancement of their $1.1 million request. The lawyers say such an enhancement is permissible because their work resulted in a landmark court decision and because the attorneys took on a difficult and unpopular case. The Cincinnati lawyers represented James Obergefell (OH’-burk-uh-fel), who sued Ohio’s health director for refusing to list him as the surviving spouse on his husband’s death certificate.
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OGDENSBURG, NY (AP) - Police say they’ve have charged a 47-year-old man with a hate crime for torching an outdoor bench that had been painted in rainbow colors by members of a northern New York church to show support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Authorities in Ogdensburg say Francis Solis was charged last Wednesday with arson and criminal mischief as a hate crime. He claimed that he wanted to send “the bench to hell” for reminding his of his childhood molestation between the ages of eight and fourteen. The arrest came a day after police released surveillance video showing a man tossing clothing into a garbage bin near the First Presbyterian Church just before the bench outside the church was set on fire. Police say Solis turned himself in. He’s expected to be arraigned Thursday morning. It couldn’t be determined if he has a lawyer who could comment on the charges.
September 17, 2015
HILLSBORO, MO (AP) - Three school board members have resigned in a suburban St. Louis district rocked recently by controversy over a transgender high school student’s effort to use the girls’ bathroom. The four remaining members of the Hillsboro School Board accepted the resignations during a brief special meeting Thursday. Superintendent Aaron Cornman told The Associated Press afterward that a resignation letter submitted last week and two others turned in Tuesday did not state specifically why those members were stepping down. Cornman says he would not speculate. The board departures follow recent walkouts at Hillsboro High School in favor and against a male student’s request to be treated like other female students. Lila Perry has told administrators she wasn’t content in continuing to use a unisex faculty bathroom this year.
Attorneys seek $1.1 million-plus Man torches bench painted rainbow colors to “Send It To Hell” in gay marriage legal fees
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Scott Roman (Photo:scottroman.com)
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Ryan Uhler from Facebook post
Photo: advocate.com
dance and just be free. Never ever did I have a bad time. The staff are some of the classiest and down to earth people I’ve met while living in Florida. Many friendships were forged there and have stood the test of time since . I am so sad for the staff and for the patrons this was a place of acceptance, fun, and safety. I hope you find another location and carry on with what you started in St Pete. I had so many firsts in Alibi. Dancers, $3 teas, the drag shows, awesome bands like Halcyon.
“
I had my first pride there ...so sad the building may be tore down and taken away but you can’t take my memories!!!”
bSARASOTA COUNTY Throb Nightclub in Sarasota set on fire in hate crime
SARASOTA, FL (AP) - Investigators in southwest Florida are trying to find a man who they say set fire to a gay nightclub. The Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office reports that a neighbor reported flames at the front entrance of Throb Nightclub around 9 a.m. Sunday. Sprinklers prevented the fire from spreading, but damage was estimated to be more than $10,000. Surveillance video shows a tan-skinned man wearing a dark, long-sleeved shirt and light-colored shorts walk up to the door carrying a gas can. The man starts the fire and leaves the area. Anyone with information should call the sheriff’s office or the State Fire Marshal’s arson hotline at 877-6627766.
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Realty represented the owner, Ron Gofrank, in the sale. “I speak with the owner daily,” Barnum said, was quoted as saying last year. “He was one of the original three partners but they all bought each other out. They sold [the] Wilton Manors and Ron bought out the others. Now Ron lives out of town. As an absentee owner, it’s difficult for him. He’s got some health issues. He not old and he’s not dying—but as we get older we can’t do as much so he’s not able to be here. So it’s hard to run a business that far away.” Alibi employed 40 employees, several of whom had been with the bar for its entire run. Barry Bunts in the long-time general manager and vp. The sale does not affect the other branches of Alibi, located in Wilton Manors and Palm Springs, CA. Katrina Gilbert Grinfield, from St. Petersberg, was quick to lament her sadness at the news. “I have so many memories at Alibi. As a straight woman, I always went with friends to
TALLAHASSEE, FL (AP) - Florida’s court clerks are going to start using new marriage and divorce forms that no longer use the words “husband” and “wife.” State officials on Monday began sending the new forms to county clerks. Clerks asked for new forms after Florida’s ban on same sex marriage ended. Florida’s ban ended in January, but it wasn’t until June that the U.S. Supreme Court legalized gay marriage across the country. The new forms will have the words “spouse” instead of husband and wife or bride and groom. Clerks will start using the revised forms on Oct. 1. There is still an ongoing legal battle over whether both same sex parents can be listed on birth certificates issued by the state.
September 17, 2015
ST. PETERSBURG, FL-”It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that we announce the ‘rumors’ are true and Georgie’s Alibi St. Petersburg will cease operations at the close of business on Saturday September 19th,”Alibi’s Facebook page reads. While the news came as no surprise to its customers, who had known for a year that the property was for sale at $595,000, the reality of the situation still hit many quite hard. “The real estate and an adjoining parcel have been sold to a developer who plans on building new housing units,” the announcement continues. “We can’t thank the greater St. Petersburg community enough for their support over the past 15 years. Technology and the greater acceptance of alternative lifestyles have impacted the viability of gay venues throughout the country, and The Alibi was not immune to this phenomena. Thank you everyone for 15 wonderful years of memories! Robert Barnum of Earnest
Florida clerks to use new forms after gay marriage ruling
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Georgie’s Alibi in St. Petersburg to close after 15 years
bLEON COUNTY
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bPINELLAS COUNTY
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SUNSHINE STATE
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Court again denies Kim Davis’ bid to delay marriage licenses
Kim Davis (Photo: mmc-news.com) Mimi Planas (Photo: Flickr.com)
LOUISVILLE, KY (AP) - Embattled Kentucky clerk Kim Davis “has not demonstrated a substantial likelihood of success” in her legal bid to exempt her office from licensing same-sex marriages, a federal appeals court reiterated Tuesday. One day after Davis returned to work following a stint in jail for defying a federal judge, the Sixth Circuit U.S. Court of Appeals shot down another of her requests to delay issuing the licenses. After four couples sued Davis for refusing them licenses, she filed a counter lawsuit against Gov. Steve Beshear, alleging that he improperly instructed clerks to abide by the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in June that legalized gay marriage. The appeals court rejected her request to delay that directive, but also declined to toss the appeal entirely, as Beshear had requested. Davis cited her Christian faith and religious freedom when she defied a series of court orders and refused to issue the licenses. U.S. District Judge David Bunning found her in contempt and jailed her for five days, propelling Davis to folk-hero status among some on the religious right. One of her deputies began issuing licenses while she was in jail. When she returned to work Monday, Davis announced that she would not
block the deputies from issuing licenses. But she ordered her office to alter the templates to remove her name and title, substituting “pursuant to federal court order,” and said she had “grave concerns” that the issued licenses would be legally valid. Though the governor and attorney general said they believe the licenses are valid, lawyers with the American Civil Liberties Union who sued Davis on behalf of four couples also are concerned. They said they would wait to consider any legal action, however, until the pending appeals are resolved. The ACLU asked the appeals court Tuesday to reject that one too, calling it “Davis’ latest attempt to avoid the obligations of her office.” Three weeks ago, a panel of the appeals court dismissed Davis’ primary argument that her religious faith should exclude her from licensing a gay marriage. In a statement about Davis’ most recent bid for an exemption, James Esseks, director of the ACLU’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Project, said the clerk “keeps asking the same question and getting the same answer from the courts - that she has to do her job.” “Issuing marriage licenses doesn’t mean she approves of those marriages, it just means she’s doing the job she was elected to do.”
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MIAMI-- GOP Councilwoman and third term President of the Log Cabin Republican, Mimi Planas was appointed by Governor Rick Scott as a new member of the Florida Commission on the Status of Women. The Florida Governor called the lesbian leader personally regarding her appointment. Ms. Planas, a Hispanic woman, has distinguished herself as a premiere grassroots organizer, particularly in her role as a prolific conservative lesbian spokesperson for Rick Scott’s and Attorney General Pam Bondi’s 2014 reelection. Her successful advocacy for Scott, Bondi, same-sex marriage and gun rights for women appeared routinely in the South Florida Gay News, the Miami Herald, and in the Pink News of London -- Europe’s largest GLBT newspaper. She also wrote a column for the Gay Orlando Watermark and appeared several times in Florida Equality’s and Florida Competes’ on-line publication. She serves on the Hispanic Advisory Council to the Brinker Education Initiative, a project of the Harry S. and Mary Ellen Brinker, Jr. Foundation devoted to immersing Hispanic/ Latino students in science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) through college scholarships. Planas is certain to be a voice in Tallahassee for increased funding for STEM education targeting Hispanics and women, as well as LGBT inclusion.
September 17, 2015
WILTON MANORS, FL--The Pride Center at Equality Park in Wilton Manors will be building a playground to accommodate the growing need for a safe play area that provides social support, mentoring and educational and creative development for LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) families in South Florida. To make this vision a reality, The Pride Center has launched a $75,000 fundraising challenge and is seeking community volunteers to help construct the 2,500-square-foot interactive playground (roughly half of the size of an NBA basketball court) on Friday, October 16. When completed, it will be the first playground of its kind in the United States to be situated on a LGBT campus. “A playground is more than just a physical space. Creative play is developmentally important for our children and future leaders. It’s a brain-expander, a friend-maker and a mentor-connector,” said Robert Boo, CEO of The Pride Center at Equality Park. “Together, with our national benefactors plus the support of the local business community and volunteers, we can meet our mission of providing a welcoming space that celebrates, nurtures and empowers the LGBT community and our friends and neighbors in South Florida while setting an example for other national organizations.” According to the 2010 U.S. Census, about one-fifth of same-sex couples (more than 9,000) in Broward County are raising children. This follows the growing trend of LGBT parents who are raising about two million children, nationwide. Organizations and individuals interested in volunteering and contributing funds, services and supplies should contact Kristofer Fegenbush, COO of The Pride Center at Equality Park, at (954) 463-9005 or email kfegenbush@ pridecenterflorida.org.
Lesbian appointed to Florida commission on the status of women
b KENTUCKY
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Pride Center to build family park
b FLORIDA
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b FLORIDA
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MORE NEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
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CONTACT NATIONAL SALES DIRECTOR, MAURA “MUMBALL” LANE AT 954-543-5947 OR MAURALANE@MMPLGBT.COM TO GET ON THE LIST.
ACCOUNTING
Sterling Tax & Accounting 2435 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-667-9829 / sterlingandhart.com
ATTORNEYS Michael D. Becker Attorney at Law 201 NE 2nd Street Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-727-5067 / becker-lawyer.com Law Offices of George Castrataro 707 NE 3rd Avenue, Suite 300 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-573-1444 / lawgc.com Law Offices of Phillip Menditto 524 S Andrews Avenue, Suite 200 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-641-9100 / phillipmenditto.com Law Offices of Caro Kinsella 20801 Biscayne Blvd, Suite 403 Miami, FL 33180 954-304-2243 / immigrationlawyerfl.com
CHURCH / SPIRITUAL
Center for Spiritual Living 1550 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2868 / cslftl.com Holy Angels Catholic Community 2917 NE 6th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33334 954-633-2987 / holyangelsfl.org Etz Chaim 1501 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-564-9232 / etzchaimflorida.org The Parish of St Francis & Clare 101 NE 3rd Street Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-731-8173 / stsfrancisandclare.org
COUNSELING Shoshana Paris House Call Counselor shoshana.paris@gmail.com 954-985-5362 / 305-951-1279
EVENTS I DO Custom Events PO Box 2357 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-626-0131 / idocustomevents.com Source Events 605 Lincoln Road, #410 Miami Beach, FL 33139 305-672-9779 / sourceevents.com
FITNESS Pump’n Inc Tom Bonanti 1271 NE 9th Avenue Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-557-1119 / pumpnincgym.com
FINANCIAL
DENTAL
Dean Trantalis Attorney 2255 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2226 / trantalislaw.com
AUTO Vista Motors BMW 744 N Federal Hwy Pompano Beach, FL 855-793-7093 / vistabmw.com
AUTO CARE Las Olas Financial Group 3000 NE 30th Place, Suite 206 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 844-779-7936 / lasolasfinancialgroup.com
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FOOD / GROCERY
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MARKETING
REAL ESTATE Galleria International Realty 945 Las Olas Boulvard Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-234-8759 / galleriarealtors.com
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HEALTH
Joe Grano Realtor 1881 NE 26th Street, Suite 212 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-931-0031 / joegrano.com
ORGANIZATIONS The Pride Center 2040 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-463-9005 / pridecenterflorida.com Genesis Health Institute 1001 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-561-3175 / ghinstitute.com Better Hearing-World of Sounds 2450 E Commercial Blvd Fort Lauderdale, FL 33308 954-491-2560 betterhearingworldofsounds.com Ocean Therapy Center 2530 NE 15th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-351-2299 oceantherapycenter.com
Out of the Closet 2097 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-358-5580 / outofthecloset.org
UPHOLSTERY
OPTICAL Island City Eyecare 2301 Wilton Drive, Suite C1 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-764-6906 / visionsource-ice.com
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PHP HMO SNP 888-456-4715 positivehealthcare.net Positive Nutrition of South Florida 4640 North Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale, FL 954-306-3887
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September 17, 2015
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PHOTOGRAPHY
September 17, 2015
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YOUR LIFE: AN OWNER’S MANUAL Steps for effective communication
Effective communication is something for which we all strive. To be effective, both parties must be aware of how they receive and interpret what the other is saying and doing.
I
can attempt to help someone, but if my mannerisms are not perceived as helpful then the other person will respond By negatively. My James feelings are then Miller hurt. We judge others by their actions but we judge ourselves by our intentions. There are three steps needed for effective communication. There is nothing more frustrating than attemping to explain what troubles us and have the listener immediately try to resolve it. Without emotional validation. there is
no emotional joining. Without this type of joining, problem solving is mostly ineffective and it often causes additional arguments between the two people. Step 1: Validating. Validation is a form of acknowledgement or recognition regarding what the person is experiencing. Regardless, if you agree with the situation or not, you are validating the person’s current emotional experience and how it negatively impacts them. Since this person is important to you, you affirm their current emotional struggle, not necessarily the situation itself. If the person was originally belittled or marginalized, your validation and acknowledgement helps them feel connected to you as well as negate their earlier experience. Step 2: Role Assignment. After the emotional connection is achieved
through validating, then you transition to Role Assignment. A role assignment is simply asking the person what they need from you in that moment. Our natural inclination is to jump right in and problem solve, but that may not be what the person needs from you. Sometimes they just want to vent, or have us be a sounding board, or a shoulder on which they can cry. In asking which role the person wants you to play, it solidifies that you are respecting their current emotional struggle, which then empowers them to manage their current crisis. Step 3: Problem Solving. If the person is not able to direct you to help problem-solve, it is ok for you to ask them if you can both solve it together. Allow them to develop their own strategies. Validate their solutions. Ask
them for permission to give your own strategies. Remember, this is their struggle. Allowing them to direct you in ways to help problem-solve gives them the feeling of self-control and subconsciously encourages them that they can overcome the situation. After you both develop viable strategies, see which one is most practical. Remember, you do more by asking what you can do to help rather than monopolizing the conversation with unsolicited problem solving solutions.
James Miller is a licensed psychotherapist in West Palm Beach, FL. Currently known for his website: JamesMillerLifeology.com where he gives daily advice.
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FAST FIT
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By increasing the oxygen flow to the body’s cells, you will instantly raise your metabolism.
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High intensity aerobic exercices are not necessary to burn fat and help your heart. In fact, they are inefficient means to accomplish that goal.
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The smoke from a cigarette contains over 4,700 chemicals including 60 that are known carcinogens.
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By Richard Hack and Andy Kress from their book Baby Boomers’ Guide to the Fountain of Youth
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On average, Baby Boomers use less than 10% of their lung capacities.
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Bearded Ladies
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PUZZLE
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Across
1 Publisher and friend of Moss Hart 5 DC tourist district 9 Jack, known for licking it clean 14 “June Is Bustin’ Out All ___” 15 La Traviata solo 16 Taking it lying down 17 She played Glinda in The Wiz 18 Sourpuss 19 Prudential rival 20 Fran, who married Peter Marc Jacobson 22 Carrie, who married Bryan Lourd 23 Debtor’s slips 24 Marine birds 25 Mothers, to Verlaine 28 Fairy story 30 Double-reed instrument 34 Bring to bear 35 Carol, who married Charles Lowe 37 Great service from Mauresmo 38 The USA, to Monika Treut 41 Prefix with room 42 Vanessa, who was married to Tony Richardson 44 General drift 46 In addition 47 Org. that could help you see Uranus 49 Gay rodeo fans may come in them 50 Conversant about 52 Car from Sweden 54 Janet, who was married to Adrian 57 Liza, who was married to Peter Allen (or, her dad) 61 Yellow Brick way and others 62 Abominable snowman 63 Superman portrayer Dean 64 Shoreline opening 65 Going full tilt 66 Traci Des Jardins, for one 67 Jury members that may be, well, hung 68 High place with a flat top 69 Pisa’s river
Down
1. Word before cock 2 At any point 3 Director Norman of Prelude to a Kiss 4 Sitcom with John Mahoney 5 Peru’s ___ Picchu 6 Police response to gays in public, once 7 One with a tricky tongue 8 Where to look for the “gay gene” 9 Rainy country for Eliza Doolittle 10 Like some nails 11 Kind of IRA 12 A girl named Frank 13 Cause of the Tin Woodsman’s rust 21 Doris Day to Rock Hudson, often 22 Neat ___ (half of the Odd Couple) 24 Precollege ed 25 Stiller’s partner, once 26 Rise to the top 27 Actor Robert and family 29 Places for erections 31 Risky fellatio partner? 32 Erect 33 “Great balls of fire!” 36 Lane of The Birdcage 39 Bruce Wayne kept Dick in one 40 Wolfson of Freedom to Marry 43 Head for the bottom 45 DeMornay of Risky Business 48 Given this situation 51 Newsgroup messages 53 West Side Story girl 54 Worker on Broadway 55 Tops 56 Jodie Foster’s alma mater 57 Portion (out) 58 Cowardly lion actor 59 Property right 60 411 62 Orange veggie For the solution to this puzzle, go to www.floridaagend. com/puzzle
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t Hear Me Out By Chris Azzopardi
September 17, 2015
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@ Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.
Carly Rae Jepsen, E•MO•TION
Carly Rae Jepsen came out of nowhere, seized radio, dug a hole in your head and planted a little song there named “Call Me Maybe.” It grew and grew. It grew so much you are, at this very moment, singing it. Now that she’s released her third album, which, again, will lodge itself into the depths of your (Photo: theguardian.com) consciousness. E•MO•TION stands as the singular best piece of pop music this year so far, and right about now, you’re thinking: “But Carly Rae Jepsen?” Who sings “Call Me Maybe.” For real, though: E•MO•TION is a nonstop parade of hooks without being the “Call Me Maybe” confection factory. Jepsen and a crew of consummate producers shake up the formula that made her famous, and they do it with surprising stylistic flourishes, an ear for the ’80s and a lingering sweet-pop center. Cyndi Lauper, Prince and the GoGos are ever present on E•MO•TION, their panache coloring in songs such as the brilliant sax-tinged “Run Away With Me” and “When I Needed You,” with its “hey!” call outs. “I Really Like You” pops with infectious flair, and Sia gives the heartfelt “Making the Most of the Night” – a volcano of a song, its chorus spilling out everywhere – her magic music-making touch. E•MO•TION is this year’s pop album to beat. Girls and boys, get to work.
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Noah Gundersen, Carry the Ghost Ryn Weaver went viral with a booming piece of jolty dream-pop called “OctaHate.” If you’ve ever heard of the Internet, you’ve likely heard the song. Unleashing the 23-year-old onto the world, the song opened the doors to her full(Photo by thosewhodig.net) length debut The Fool, a decidedly less straightforward pop album than her first single suggested. Is it alternative? Is it indie? Is it pop? It’s all of these things. And more. There’s no box for Weaver to step in; that’s by choice. As she pursues a decently potent palette, from the Stevie Nicks-inspired “Here Is Home” to the percolating tribal-teemed “Runaway,” her wild ambitions could use some honing. And soon enough, then, every song will live up to the pop promise of “OctaHate.
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Remember 1997? You were fiercely smackin’ that sonic bubblegum Robyn gave you. Years later, in 2005, the Swedish “Show Me Love” singer reemerged as an edgier version of her ’90s self. Harder, sadder, dancier. And those jams were (Photo by rockal.com) consistently on point; Robyn knew the human psyche. Now, she’s at it again. With keyboardist Markus Jägerstedt and the late producer Christian Falk, Robyn – fronting their new trio, La Bagatelle Magique – releases yet another mini-album (if her post-’90s career is any indication, Robyn doesn’t do full albums anymore). The four songs aren’t as emotionally fulfilling as, say, “Dancing on My Own” or “Hang with Me;” but, not counting the awkward framing and wonky vocals on “Tell You (Today),” they certainly hold up on their own. “Love Is Free” is light on words and heavy on sound; it’s untamed and exhilarating, and its house-vibed early-’90s build, inspired. “Set Me Free” works up a sweat, too, as it turns back time another decade. Swathed in ’80s synths, it’s further proof that – solo or not – nobody gets bodies talkin’ quite like Robyn.
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Robyn Love Is Free
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THE WEEK: FORT LAUDERDALE .
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9/18 Mommie Queerest
photo: momentsthattake.com
9/18 Disney on Ice
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The magic of figure skating combined with Disney’s array of anthropomorphic characters has made Disney on Ice a special touring event for over thirty years. Tonight’s program, Treasure Trove, is no different, weaving the stories from classic Disney films like The Lion King, Mulan, The Incredibles, and Tangled into a heartwarming spectacular. 7:00 p.m. BB&T Center. 2555 NW 136th Ave. Sunrise. 33323.
September 17, 2015
By Patrick Robert
Christina Crawford’s tell-all about her tumultuous relationship with her mother, LGBT icon Joan Crawford, turned into a 1981 cult classic starring Faye Dunaway, a pair of arching eyebrows, and a slew of wire hangers. Jamie Morris’ twisted version of the tale, Mommie Queerest, has played at venues in Provincetown, New York City, and Los Angeles, where it won four LA Weekly Theater Awards. 8:00 p.m. Empire Stage. 1140 N. Flagler Dr. Fort Lauderdale. 33304.men. 8:00 p.m. Empire Stage. 1140 N. Flagler Dr. Fort Lauderdale. 33304.
photo: browardpalmbeach.com
photo: rollingstoneaus.com
9/21 Billy Idol Bleach blond rocker Billy Idol was a major star of the early age of MTV. Hit songs “Dancing with Myself,” “White Wedding,” and “Rebel Yell” enjoyed heavy radio airplay, and their accompanying videos were heavily rotated on the burgeoning video music station. His newest tour promotes his 2014 album Kings & Queens of the Underground and features longtime guitarist Steve Stevens. 8:00 p.m. Hard Rock Live. 5747 Seminole Way. Hollywood. 33314.
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THE WEEK: MIAMI
photo: warriorweeklycom
The Dressing Down the Movies festival continues tonight with one of Fassbender’s most famous films. The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant follows a drama of unrequited love as famed fashion designer Petra falls for new model Karin. Going along with the festival theme of fashion, the film contains baroque costumes designed by Maja Lemcke that would later become inspiration for Miuccia Prada. 7:00 p.m. Fashion Project at Bal Harbour Shops. 9700 Collins Ave. Bal Harbour. 33154.
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Janet Jackson has been quiet as of late; her last album Discipline was released in 2008. That’s about to change as the “All for You” and “Escapade” singer drops her heavily anticipated eleventh studio album Unbreakable in early October. The sometime singer, sometime actress is one of the best-selling artists in history, having sold 160 million records. Her tours are wellreceived and, judging from recent reviews, the Unbreakable World Tour is no different. 8:00 p.m. American Airlines Arena. 601 Biscayne Blvd. Miami. 33132.
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9/23 The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant
9/20 Janet Jackson
9/22 The Neighbourhood
photo: billboard.com
The Neighbourhood’s debut album (pointedly titled I Love You) features the indie pop hit “Sweater Weather” and established the quintet as a millennial rock group of note. This year’s sophomore album Wiped Out is due out October 30th. Tonight’s stop at the Fillmore is part of the band’s fall tour named The Flood Tour. Hunny and Bad Suns open. 8:00 p.m. The Fillmore Miami Beach. 1700 Washington Ave. Miami Beach. 33139.
photo: rtademin.com
Mmmmm -panadas
September 17, 2015
2037 Wilton Drive ~ Wilton Manors, FL 954.565.8550 ~ 13-even.com
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THE WEEK: JACKSONVILLE .
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9/19 Tango Lovers
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A renowned cast of awarded dancers, musicians, and singers take the stage to showcase the torrid moves of the tango. Awarded by Latin ACE 2015 as “The Best Musical Show of the Year,” Tango Lovers shares the cultural essence and evolution of tango through the art of dance and music. 8:30 p.m. Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts. 300 Water St. Jacksonville. 32202.
photo:ameliacommunitytheatre.org
photo: stagetalkmagazine.com
9/17 Mark Twain Remembers
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Actor Don Maley dons a bright white mustache in order to perform this one-man show detailing the life of Mark Twain—one of America’s most revered writers. The show focuses on the cause of Twain’s abolitionist spirit—a trait that would inform some of Twain’s best loved books, including Huck Finn. 8:00 p.m. Amelia Community Theatre. 209 Cedar St. Fernandina Beach. 32034.
September 17, 2015
By Patrick Robert
9/20 Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap
photo:groupon.com
A group of strangers stranded in a boarding house during a snowstorm must figure out which one of them is the murderer. A policeman traveling on skis arrives and probes the background of everyone present, rattling a lot of skeletons, until the big twist ending. 8:00 p.m. Theatre Jacksonville. 2032 San Marco Blvd. Jacksonville. 32207.
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THE WEEK: ORLANDO
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Universal Studio’s wildly popular Halloween Horror Nights draws hundreds of thousands of horror fans to experience a labyrinth of nine haunted houses, five street experiences, and two live shows. Themes for the haunted houses this year include The Walking Dead, Insidious, and Freddy vs. Jason. 6:30 p.m. Universal Orlando. 6000 Universal Blvd. Orlando. 32819.
Tony Award winner Spamalot gleefully honors the classic Monty Python film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, telling the parody story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. While searching for the Holy Grail, the classic characters encounter such silly things as killer rabbits, flying cows, and flamboyant Frenchmen. 7:30 p.m. Lowndes Shakespeare Center. 812 E. Rollins St. Orlando. 32803.
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9/20 Monty Python’s Spamalot
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9/18 Halloween Horror Nights
photo: erinbakes.com
9/18 The Cake and Sugarcraft Fair
photo: thrillgeek.com
Anyone who is a die-hard Food Network fan will recognize the celebrity guests for The America’s Cake and Sugarcraft Fair. Buddy Valastro is the star of the popular reality TV series Cake Boss while Ron Ben-Israel has judged such reality competition shows as Cake Wars and Halloween Baking Championship. 10:00 a.m. Orange County Convention Center. 9800 International Dr. Orlando. 32819.
photo: orlandosentinel.com
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THE WEEK: PALM BEACH .
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9/19 Luke Bryan
photo:twitter.com
Bryan’s country music career began with writing songs for established artists Travis Tritt and Billy Currington. He signed with Capitol Records in 2007, and, from there, his career exploded. Singles off of his debut album I’ll Stay Me include “All My Friends Say,” “We Rode in Trucks,” and “Country Man.” His newest album Kill the Lights features the hit song “Kick the Dust Up.” 7:00 p.m. Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre. 601-7 Sansburys Way. West Palm Beach. 33411.
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Although it’s been over a decade since the original American Idol winner first bewitched America with her beautiful voice, the “Since You’ve Been Gone” singer has maintained her popularity, having sold over 25 million albums worldwide. She is currently on tour with singer-songwriter Eric Hutchinson and a cappella group Pentatonix. 7:00 p.m. Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre. 601-7 Sansburys Way. West Palm Beach. 33411.
photo: comedycontact.com
9/19 Jeff Dye
9/17 Kelly Clarkson (CANCELLED)
September 17, 2015
By Patrick Robert
photo: people.com
Last Comic Standing finalist Jeff Dye has had a successful career both on the stage and on the television. The prankster has hosted hip MTV series Numbnuts and Money for Strangers and has also appeared on Girl Code and Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Tonight he will tell jokes, play some pranks, and explain his love for mythical beast Bigfoot. 8:00 p.m. Palm Beach Improv. 550 S. Rosemary Ave. West Palm Beach. 33401.
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Eleven of the biggest Freestyle music legends of the 1980s take the stage. Headliners include the king of Freestyle Stevie B. and 1980s songstress Taylor Dayne. Dayne hit it big with her debut single “Tell It to My Heart,” which reached number seven on the Hot 100. From there, her strong voice led to other hits like “Love Will Lead You Back,” “Don’t Rush Me,” “I’ll Be Your Shelter,” and “With Every Beat of My Heart.” Other performers include Lisa Lisa, Debbie Deb, and Johnny O. 7:30 p.m. Amalie Arena. 401 Channeside Dr. Tampa. 33602.
Based on the surprise hit indie film, Broadway smash Once tells the intimate tale of a Dublin street musician and his rebound relationship with a sensitive young woman. The minimalist set features a bar that can be utilized by patrons before the show and during intermission. Expect to hear Oscar-winning song “Falling Slowly” used to good effect. 7:30 p.m. Straz Center for the Performing Arts. 1010 N. Macinnes Place. Tampa. 33602.
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9/22 Once
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9/19 Super Freestyle Explosion
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THE WEEK: TAMPA / ST. PETE
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photo: popmatters.com
9/22 Icona Pop
photo:latinremix.com
This free concert hosted by pop station 933.3 FLZ features the Swedish electropop group Icona Pop who hit it big in 2013 with ubiquitous hit singles “I Love It” and “All Night.” Joining them are the Chainsmokers, the DJ duo responsible for social critique single “#Selfie.” 7:00 p.m. Ritz Ybor. 1503 E. Seventh Ave. Tampa. 33607.
photo: nytimes.com
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