Agenda 111915 issue 313 by Multi-Media Platforms

SAME-SEX PARENTS TO CREATE BABIES FROM SKIN CELLS WITHIN TWO YEARS

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JUST ADAM

The week reflected back through fabulously funny eyes APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION. I’d say that the Dubsmash app runs a very close fourth when ranking the world’s evils...just behind war, poverty, and disease. TV GUIDE. I seriously can’t even with this new show starring Rob Lowe called “The Grinder.” What is it about? A gay slut that solves mysteries on the side? THE HOLIDAY TURNUP IS REAL. Have you seen the new twerking Santas at Wal*Mart? Gettttttt it Santa! Get that money honey! SH*T HAPPENS. Awwww! Irritable bowel syndrome never looked so cute! It’s the Xifaxan intestine/turtle! BYE, FELICIA. At the carwash with my car, Felicia. Getting nice and clean again. She’s been a dirty, nasty, filthy girl! Just like her daddy! LOVE FOR DUMMIES. I love giving relationship advice, when my longest relationship was about 4 days long. BEST LAID PLANS. One of the Duggar kids named their child Spurgeon Seawald. Start that rehab savings account. BASIC IS AS BASIC DOES. The death of Zima malted beverage was a blow to the burgeoning basic b*tch movement of the 1990s. MORE TO COME. So… It is very hush-hush at this point, but I’m kind of excited that my bizarre sense of humor and funny writings might be resulting in a very cool opportunity in the entertainment industry. I can’t reveal at this point, and I have to approach it cautiously, because the last time somebody said “baby I’ll make you a star!”....I ended up as a Fluffer in a lesbian porn film....more to come... HER MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD. “Milkshake” by Kelis lost any street credibility the minute they introduced it into a Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial. DESIGNATED DIANE. Diane Sawyer looks like she was always the dependable designated driver at all events where alcohol was served.

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TRENDSETTER. I think I’d look good with a good classic mullet. LADYKILLER. Why WOULDN’T you trust Dr. Neil Clark Warren of eHarmony to ﬁnd your perfect match? Under that cardigan sweater and creepy face, he just SCREAMS “p***y magnet!” Adam Cohen is South Florida’s favorite and most fabulous social commentator. He’s also single.

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WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING... SOCIAL MEDIA SOUND BYTES Patti LaBelle’s Pies Cause Pandemonium

JUSSIE SMOLLETT (@JUSSIESMOLLETT): It’s Monday. Oﬀ work early. On the hunt for some #PattiPies THE SMOKING SECTION (@ TSSCREW): Thanksgiving cancelled as nation faces devastating #PattiPies shortage SOLEDAD FRANCIS (@SOLEDADFRANCIS): Moral of the story behind the Patti Labell Sweet Pies: the right social media inﬂuencers do more than millions in marketing! #pattipies

The Advocate.

DON LEMON

CHEERS

“Pride, that was the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah. He didn’t talk about homosexuality.“ -Pat Robertson dismissing the condemnation of homosexuality in the Bible

CHARLIE SHEEN

discussing his HIV status on NBC’s Today.

JEERS

“Let’s be honest: Pray for the entire world.” -Ruby Rose via Instagram responding to “Pray for Paris” hashtags this week

discussing what he’d do if he didn’t become a journalist in a New York Times interview.

“I JUST SHOT THE MOST INTENSE SEX SCENE I’VE EVER DONE.” JONATHAN GROFF discussing what fans can

expect from the forthcoming Looking ﬁnale.

TINA FEY, Tina Fey discussing criticism that she writes stereotypical gay characters in an interview in

“IʼD PROBABLY BE A WRITER LIKE JAMES BALDWIN. OR I WOULD PROBABLY BE AN ACTIVIST. BUT NOT LIKE DR. KING, EVEN THOUGH I ADMIRE HIM. IʼD PROBABLY BE MORE OF A MALCOLM X. I BELIEVE THE BEST WAY TO IMPROVE YOURSELF IS TO IMPROVE YOURSELF.”

November 19, 2015

“I TRY TO BASE EVERYTHING IN SOME KIND OF TRUTH. I DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT THE INTERNET SAYS. GETTING IN TROUBLE WITH THE INTERNET IS NOT REAL. THE INTERNET IS NOT A FORCE YOU HAVE TO OBEY.”

ROSE MCGOWAN, via Facebook, discussing Caitlyn Jenner’s recent Glamour 2015 Woman of the Year Award.

“REGARDLESS OF THEIR SALTLESS REPUTATIONS, I ALWAYS LEAD WITH CONDOMS AND HONESTY. SADLY, MY TRUTH SOON BECAME THEIR TREASON, AS A DELUGE OF BLACKMAIL AND EXTORTION TOOK CENTER STAGE.”

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“You want to be a woman and stand with us— well learn us.”

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Random thoughts from social media and beyond this week

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COVER STORY

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“GRAVE EVILS.” That’s how Catholic Bishops define gay marriage By Richard Hack

November 19, 2015

Photo: clarionherald.info

The pamphlet should have been subtitled “The Guide Against Same-Sex Marriage” for the issue is brought up ten times, right along with abortion and racism—all of which are called “grave evils.”

here are 231 top Roman Catholic Bishops in the United States who spent the past few weeks rewriting “Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship,” their quadrennial guide issued in presidential election years detailing the responsibilities of their flock of faithful worshippers when it comes to voting. So much for the separation of church and state. In this case, the pamphlet should have been subtitled “The Guide Against Same-Sex Marriage” for the issue is brought up ten times, right along with abortion and racism—all of which are called “grave evils.” Making matters worse: the document was approved by 210 of the bishops. These men of the cloth did not seem to notice their leader, Pope Francis, didn’t bring up same-sex marriage during his entire visit to the United States. And since samesex marriage is entirely legal in this country since the Supreme Court decision of last June, the issue won’t be on any ballot anywhere in the land of the free, home of the brave. No matter. Much like the Mormon leaders did last week, the Roman Catholic leaders in this

country have labeled the LGBT community a friend of the devil and kin to Satin. And just as the Mormon hierarchy learned, the news will not sit well with the children of God. Nor should it. The fact that race, abortion and gay marriage cause the Republican hard core to purse their lips with a look normally saved for those moments when one tastes a rotten peanut cannot be seen as coincidental. The political right and the religious conservatives are bedded as one, and not afraid to show their alliance publicly. The 21 bishops that objected to the content of the guide were very vocal in their objections. Bishop Robert McElroy of San Diego said the document was “gravely hobbled” and was not reflective of the pope’s agenda. Subjects like the poor, immigrants and ecology. “Global poverty and degradation of the earth” are “at the very center and core” of Francis’ pontificate and Catholic social teaching, McElroy said. Archbishop Leonard Blaire of Hartford, Connecticut, who was intricate in the redrafting of the document, said that “there is a kind of rhetoric of regime change that’s going on in the church, and I

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protections for conscientious objectors to gay marriage, abortion and other laws the bishops consider immoral. As for the Supreme Court decision, “Thousands of laws are being affected by this,” according to Cardinal Daniel DiNardo of Galveston-Houston, Texas, who helped draft the guide. “Our intent is to make sure that Catholic citizens understand where we are and what we understand about the sacrament of marriage.” Let voters beware. The Associated Press contributed to this piece.

think we have to be very wary about that.” While Francis gave the bishops a new dynamic for thought, there was little doubt, even to the Archbishop that the pope “want bishops to promote the totality of issues of Catholic teaching. That apparently includes giving shade to gays and same-sex marriage. While a quarter of US voters are Catholic, they do not vote as a bloc, and have not been particularly influenced by the bishops’ teaching document at the ballot box in the past. It’s a good thing, for the document emphasizes in bold strokes the need for religious liberty

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Our intent is to make sure that Catholic citizens understand where we are and what we understand about the sacrament of marriage.”

Photo: bigstock.com

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THE AGENDA INTERVIEW

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The foundation’s vision is to reveal the gay Cuban culture pre-revolution while building a new one. KACALA: Tell me in 30 seconds or less what is ComingOutCuba?

Photo: Reid Harrison Photography

November 19, 2015

Q&A with Osmany Caballero-Halabi & Lior Halabi Osmany Caballero-Halabi and Lior Halabi have become leaders in the Miami arts and Cuban communities. The founders of ComingOutCuba, we discussed their organization’s mission, the upcoming event they are hosting during Art Basel, and what they love about Miami. BY ALEXANDER KACALA

OSMANY CABALLERO-HALABI & LIOR HALABI: ComingOutCuba (COC) is the National Cuba-American LGBTQ Foundation, a not-for-profit-foundation whose mission is to support and provide a culture and art driven platform for Cuban and LGBTQ artists while hosting art exhibitions, performances and fundraising events to benefit other LGBTQ non-profits. COC is not affiliated with any religious or political organizations - its sole mission is to organize, activate and engage a united Cuban-American community and mobilize human and financial resources to care for those in need. The foundation’s vision is to reveal the gay Cuban culture pre-revolution while building a new one. KACALA: How do you utilize social media in communicating the message behind ComingOutCuba? OSMANY CABALLERO-HALABI & LIOR HALABI: Our team includes worldwide ambassadors and presenters from the LGBT community. Their goals are to create viral and creative campaign videos showcasing the Cuban and the gay culture. The videos create a direct connection between the organization to our supporters and to potential donors throughout social media. KACALA: What is the event your hosting during Art Basel? OSMANY CABALLERO-HALABI & LIOR HALABI: “La Santa Cuba” will be COC’s biggest art and Cuban cultural fundraiser of

the year. It will benefit the Unity Coalition|Coalición Unida, a LGBT college scholarship program. Although the United States has a legacy of being the globe’s “land of opportunity,” immigrants are frequently held back from achieving their highest potential in academia due to financial limitations. Our most tangible benefit from this event is to support an annual LGBT college scholarship program. The scholarship will remove barriers to higher education for local LGBTQ immigrants in any art form, including music, dance, theater, literature, film, graphic design and visual arts. KACALA: What is your favorite thing right now about Miami? OSMANY CABALLERO-HALABI & LIOR HALABI: Our favorite thing about Miami is the art and cultural scene and the platforms for artists such as performing art centers and museums. Miami is not only seen as a party city any longer with the large influx of a diverse artist community. KACALA: In one year, what do you want ComingOutCuba to have achieved? OSMANY CABALLERO-HALABI & LIOR HALABI: In one year from now, we would love to host more art exhibitions and performances throughout the world. COC programs will also provide a job placement platform for multicultural artists to exhibit and perform, act as an agency for talented gay and Cuban artists while serving as a role model for the younger generation, and offer grants for education in the arts field.

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November 19, 2015

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MAURA “MUMBALL” LANE National Advertising Director

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AS I SEE IT

CHARLIE SHEEN: SPREADING THE WORD--OR SOMETHING

irst, a bit of full disclosure. I’ve never been much of a Charlie Sheen fan. Not because he’s an untalented actor. Rather, because he’s a rather unpleasant person, having known him both privately and publically since we meet during my tenure writing for The Hollywood Reporter back in the 80s.

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That said, I listened, as I’m sure most did, with sadness as Charlie announced to Today’s Matt Lauer on Tuesday that he was HIV positive. While this was new news to us and Matt Lauer, it was old news to Charlie who has been aware of his condition for the past four years. He learned of his infection during routine bloodwork soon after his meltdown on television over his “mistreatment” on Two and a By Half Men, the comedy series Richard for which he Hack was being paid $1.8 million per episode at the time of his ﬁring. By that point, he had been in and out of drug rehab, was well known for having a violent temper, and had gotten a divorce

from his ﬁrst wife Donna Peele, as well as his second wife Denise Richards, and was in the throes of divorcing wife three, Brooke Mueller. You may recall that after his ﬁring from Two and a Half Men, the characteristically unstable Sheen was bizarrely quoted as saying that he was a “warlock” who had “tiger blood” and “Adonis DNA.” Now, it seems, it was just HIV roaming through his veins. All of this could have easily been forgiven, and even taken with some extended sympathy if, in announcing his medical condition,” Charlie has used the opportunity as a platform to caution others about the very real risk that remains in the world of contracting the HIV virus. A bigger man would have used his minutes on the Today show to let the world know that there are 1.2 million people in the US and another 35 million globally that are estimated to be living with HIV. Charlie could have said that according to the Center for Disease Control nearly 13 percent of all HIV infected individuals in the

US are unaware of their condition. He could have told everyone between the ages of 13 and 64 be tested once a year for the virus, and more often if you are sexually active with multiple sex partners—as Charlie is. Let’s not forget that he had a fling in the 90s with porn stars Ginger Lynn of Taboo 4 fame and Heather Hunter (nickname Double H) whose films include Lusty Dusty and the lesbian spectacular Where the Boys Aren’t. Post meltdown, he was living with porn star Bree Olson (who would later win an AVN Award for Best Anal Sex Scene) and Natalie Kenly, a sometime graphic designer. Both girls were sharing his bed at the same time. Charlie labeled them his “Goddesses” you may remember. What he allegedly didn’t alert them to was his HIV status, or at least according the Natalie—Goddesses number two, who spoke to TMZ about the fact. No word what he told porn star and Penthouse Pet of the Month Georgia Jones whom he dated in 2013, or adult film personality Brett Rossi to whom he was engaged in 2014. Or any of the other women he’s slept

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with since their breakup. In his interview with Matt Lauer, Charlie insisted that it was “impossible, impossible” for him to have infected anyone with the virus despite openly acknowledging that he had unprotected sex with two partners after his diagnosis. He revealed that he had paid “millions” in hush money to prostitutes who were blackmailing him to keep his diagnosis quiet—money he could have donated to HIV research to ﬁnd a cure, if he had not been so concerned about how the truth might have affected his career. Now that the news is out, Charlie is expecting a revival in his television and movie offers and says he hopes that people will say, “Thanks Charlie for kicking the doors open.” Yea, right. Thanks Charlie for spreading the word—or something.

Richard Hack is the award-winning author of 26 books, and the Vice President of Content for Multimedia Platforms’ publications.

He had paid “millions” in hush money to prostitutes who were blackmailing him to keep his diagnosis quiet.

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ALL THINGS CONSIDERED

turned out to be a story on the news that very night. What a great way to share the story of what they started doing yearly. Other themed Thanksgivings: Golden Girls and Brady Bunch. Coming up, Willie Wanka and the Chocolate Factory. It’s all about being with family and friends on the holidays as well as having a lot of fun. Over the last few years, Jay and John have turned their fundraising to a different kind of collection - items for Poverello. They became aware of a true need: not everyone was eating well, let alone right. Yes, food goods for those in need. The ﬁrst year, a few hundred dollars in goods were collected. In 2014, approximately $1,700 in items were collected. The goal for 2015? $2,000 worth of canned goods and condiments. Yes, condiments. Things hard to come by. In addition to the Thanksgiving brunch, John has teamed up with Joe Soler and Hunters nightclub to throw a circuit party music event wherein they are bringing in an international

known DJ and performer in hopes to raise $8,000 dollars to which a two day total of events surpasses $10,000 for Poverello Food Bank. This year it is on November 27 from 9:00 pm to 3:00 am. Jay, John and their friends are just one amazing example of what it is to give back. Not just on Thanksgiving, but many other times throughout the year. I know there are many others who selﬂessly give back as well. My hope for all is you too will give thanks by giving back. My blessings to one and all this Thanksgiving and throughout the holiday season. I leave you with the words of Edward Sanford Martin: “Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.” Rev. Joel S. Slotnick is an ordained Interfaith minister and full time digital court reporter for the state of Florida.

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The Florida Agenda welcomes signed Letters to the Editor, up to 400 words in length, on topics of general interest to our readers. You may e-mail submissions to Editor@mmplgbt.com. We welcome comments on our Facebook page also.

November 19, 2015

in high school) and continued on with life. I may not have had everything I wanted, but I certainly had everything I needed. Things could have been a whole lot worse! This all brings me to today. I have a very broad circle of people I am grateful to call friends. They are from both ends of the ﬁnancial spectrum – some live from paycheck to paycheck while other don’t have to worry about money running out before the checks do. One thing almost every one of them have in common: being thankful for what they do have and giving back. Yes, giving back. For whatever reason, it’s something not everyone has learned to do. So, I won’t highlight those people. They know who they are and hopefully, they will one day learn what it’s all about. What I will highlight are two people, Jay and John, whom I met and we became good friends several years ago. Jay and John are a testament to the meaning of Thanksgiving. Begnning in 2007, they relocated to south Florida and had their ﬁrst Thanksgiving. Here. Approximately 15 to 20 people were with them. As any guest properly raised (at least in my upbringing) would do, people didn’t come empty handed. In 2008, once again, guests were invited and came with items such as liquor, wine, etc., which they were grateful for, but barely used. That’s when a light went off. In lieu of receiving gifts for themselves, Jay and John decided to turn it into a fundraiser type of gathering. How was this accomplished? Over the next few years, there have been gatherings at Pineapple Point or their home. Many with a theme. One year was Charlie’s Angels and they had T-shirts made. The cost of each shirt was $25. I myself have one. Proceeds went to Broward House. One year, a friend “Gator” Bob Palumbo, a “camera man” for Channel 10, was out on assignment Thanksgiving day. He showed up, truck and all, with reporter Christina Vazquez for a bite to eat. All of a sudden, there was an interview. Jay & John’s generosity

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The holiday season is just about here, beginning with Thanksgiving on Thursday, November 26th. For some, it will be a four-day weekend. For others, a single day off. Some of us will celebrate this day with dear friends (who are considered family), because our natural family is miles away. Others will travel to be By Rev. with their family Joel and/or friends. Slotnick No matter, many will most likely all eat until we burst. I won’t lie, I love holiday food (too)! After 44 years in south Florida, it’s still strange to have 70 or 80 degree weather this time of year. Growing up in Skokie, a suburb of Chicago, I can’t recall many a Thanksgiving where it wasn’t quite cold and if we went to a relative for dinner, it was slushy if not packed snow. Can’t say I miss those days weather wise! I looked up the word Thanksgiving in the Merriam-Webster online dictionary. It is deﬁned: 1: the act of giving thanks - 2: a prayer expressing gratitude - 3 a public acknowledgment or celebration of divine goodness. Of course as someone who is clergy, you would automatically expect me to give thanks on a daily basis. I do. However, I was doing it long before I decided to go into ministry. I am a product of a single-parent home. My parents divorced 50 years ago and life changed. I couldn’t do everything all the other kids my age did. We weren’t broke, but even back in the ‘60’s we watched pennies. Mom worked two jobs to keep things going. Believe me, I learned to be thankful way back then. We had a roof over our head, food in the fridge. All the basics any “regular” family had. By the time I was 15, I had a job (while

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Giving Thanks by Giving Back

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CAPITOL BEAT

November 19, 2015

The Elephant We Can’t Stop Thinking About

The facts meant nothing. It was all about framing.

George Lakoff’s seminal book, Don’t Think of an Elephant, updated and re-released late last year, tried to teach progressives not to cling to the notion that the truth shall set you free. But since the Houston Equality Rights Ordinance (HERO) debacle, we progressives have been thinking about elephants — and most speciﬁcally the GOP elephant — pretty much all the time. BY There has been LINDA much wringing of hands and PENTZ inward analysis as well as oodles of ink theorizing about What Went Wrong? Pretty much everyone has come to the same conclusion as Lakoff did when Elephant was ﬁrst published in 2004. It was all about framing. Thus, what should have been a straightforward campaign to maintain the rights of 15 constituent groups, including members of the military and people with disabilities, turned into a demonization of transgender women. Not everyone agrees with Lakoff’s theories. But history does seem to be repeating itself and apparently old donkeys don’t learn new tricks. When it comes to messaging, some of the time at least, we return to being the same old stubborn jackasses. HERO got Swiftboated out of Houston by a landslide. The bathroom hysteria was a lie and everybody knew it and yet it carried the day. Progressives ran ads loaded with facts, believing with the usual dollop of disingenuousness, that if people just know the truth they will be with us. They didn’t want to know. “The morning after, I was wishing we’d run one that said ‘lie, lie, lie!’ “ said Terri Burke, director of the ACLU of Texas, speaking of their ad campaign.

“That would not have worked,” said Lakoff when we talked recently about the Houston aftermath and lessons to be learned. Calling them lies, Lakoff said, would mean repeating, and thereby reframing those same lies. Some LGBT rights groups and commentators worried about whether they themselves had hijacked a campaign that was about universal inclusion, turning it into an LGBTfocused agenda that handed the perfect target over to the right. Lakoff agrees that the LGBTfocused strategy was a mistake. “It should have been about human rights, period,” he said. “It’s easy to come out against LGBT but it’s harder to come out against human rights. So you make it a human rights issue and you put LGBT deep in there. You have to get something everyone will agree with. The moral part of the issue is hard to argue against.” Kylar Broadus, founder of the Trans People of Color Coalition, agrees. “I do think the advocates in Houston fought very hard and did well in advocating for the ordinance,” he said. “But I do think there is something to broadening the issue and not making it a single issue. That does appeal to people. Trans people are for human rights for everybody and I do think we can get our messaging a little clearer on that. As trans people, and for LGBT groups, that would be helpful because I think we are seen as oneissue people by the other groups.” That said, Broadus says he talks about the bathroom issue wherever he goes. “Every time I speak, I talk about the bathroom issue so that we hopefully desensitize people around it and stop all this fear-mongering around bathrooms,” he said. The bathroom phobia tactic has been around for decades, which makes it an even more bitter pill to swallow time and again without learning the messaging lesson and applying it. Phyllis Schaﬂy led a ﬁght against the Equal Rights Amendment, passed in 1972, reducing what should have been a debate

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ance and bigotry live on, but breakthroughs happen as well. In almost the same time frame, a married lesbian couple in Utah were threatened with the loss of their foster child just as hundreds in the same state renounced their membership in the Mormon church. The church had announced that children under 18 of parents who are married same-sex couples could not be baptized. A week after the HERO defeat, another Texas city, Dallas, moved quickly to update its equal rights ordinance to provide greater protections for its transgender community. The Dallas City Council vote was unanimous and went through with little discussion and no hoopla. The judge in the Utah foster case claimed his decision to remove the child from her foster parents — who also planned to adopt her with the birth mother’s blessing — was based on research showing children did better in homes led by heterosexual parents. In fact, the research shows quite the reverse. But the judge was never obliged to produce proof and, once again, a lie won the day, at least temporarily. There will now be a special hearing on the case on December 4. As Rea Carey of the National LGBTQ Task Force Action Fund, observed, despite marriage equality, “we are a long away from lived freedom, justice and equality for LGBTQ families across our nation.”

Linda Pentz is the Washington correspondent of the Florida Agenda. She can be contacted at lindapentz@mmplgbt.com. Follow her on Twitter @CapitolAgenda

November 19, 2015

about constitutionally protected nondiscrimination to scare-mongering about bathroom safety. And, as Broadus, a black American, pointed out, the bathroom issue was part of the civil rights struggle growing up, a struggle that was eventually won. As will HERO be, he added. Lakoff recalled being called in years ago by an LGBT group in San Francisco working on getting rights passed. “They were talking all legalistic stuff,” he recalled , “about visiting rights in the hospital and inheritance. I said, ‘you need to make this about love and commitment, period, not about visiting your partner in the hospital.’” The group took some persuading but they eventually bought in. This summer, “love wins” was the universal catchphrase after same-sex marriage became legal nationwide. Burying the LGBT issue isn’t necessarily to everyone’s liking however, and the Houston fight brought out a more systemic problem in the movement at large. Some leaders in the transgender community felt they should have been given a more prominent platform in Houston to set the record straight once conservatives dumbed down the equality debate and cruelly mischaracterized trans women as male sexual predators. “Trans people are ﬁghting to lead our movement,” Broadus said. “We need our voices heard, we need to direct and lead our movement. I do think that’s what you’ll continue to hear. It’s been the rally cry from day one and will continue to be. If we can direct and strategize and lead our movement I think that it will be more beneﬁcial to everyone and particularly trans people.” Meanwhile, pockets of intoler-

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We are a long away from lived freedom, justice and equality for LGBTQ families across our nation.”

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CREEP OF THE WEEK

bKevin Swanson By D’Anne Witowski

November 19, 2015

here are those who are your run of the mill anti-LGBT folks, and then there are the foaming at the mouth, screamin’ to the heavens, shoutin’ at the devil anti-LGBT folks like Colorado pastor Kevin Swanson. At the National Religious Liberties Conference earlier this month, homosexuality came up a lot. And Swanson, the conference’s host, made his position graphically clear when he warned the audience about “the sin of homosexuality.” “Paul affirms that this particular sin is worthy of death in Romans Chapter 1,” he says. “So, granted there are varying levels of clarity/relevance relating to ethics, but still the Old Testament and New Testament, I believe, both speak with authority and we ought to receive it.” It’s cute that he points out the “varying levels of clarity/relevance relating to ethics.” In other words, “We can’t just start executing gays because that would be logistically difficult and would upset some people.” But he’s basically saying we “ought to.” Because the Bible says so. So you can only imagine what he thinks of marriage equality. “There are families, we’re talking Christian families, pastors’ families, elders’ families from good, godly churches,” he says, “(and) their sons are rebelling, hanging out with homosexuals and getting married and the parents are invited. What would you do if that was the case?” Um, I’d go? And since I’m the parent in this hypothetical situation I’d support my child in his quest for love and happiness in his life. Swanson has a different, grosser, idea. (Don’t read on if you’re eating.) “Here is what I would do: sackcloth and ashes at the entrance to the church and I’d sit in cow manure and I’d spread it all over my body,” he says. “That is what I would do and I’m not kidding, I’m not laughing.” Woah. Sackcloth and ashes is definitely

not appropriate wedding attire. It’s an Old Testament thing where people wear super uncomfortable shirts made from like, goat hair or burlap or something, and rub ashes all over themselves to show repentance or grief. But Swanson is all, “Nah, ashes are too tame for me,” and takes it to the next level. The poop level. But wait, in his effort to win the Crazy Olympics he levels up to the pus level. And let me clarify before you read this that “pussy” means “full of pus” and is pronounced as such. He is not talking about cats or vaginas. “I’m grieving, I’m mourning, I’m pointing out the problem! It’s not a gay time,” he says, shouting and near tears. “These are the people with the sores, the gaping sores! The sores that are pussy, and gross, and people are coming in and carving happy faces on the sores. That’s not a nice thing to do. Don’t you dare carve happy faces on open pussy sores. Don’t you ever do that. Don’t you ever do that. I tell you don’t do it!” It sounds to me like Swanson is confusing a same-sex wedding with a “Walking Dead” wedding. He has a really sick imagination. “Sack cloth and ashes,” Swanson continues. “This is what America needs. America needs to hear the message. We are messed up.” Speak for yourself, Swanson. You’re the one having fever dreams about carving pusfilled smiley faces, which is one of the most messed up things I’ve ever heard. Thankfully nobody would ever take this guy seriously. Unless you’re Republican presidential hopefuls Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal and Ted Cruz. Then you attend Swanson’s hatefest. Because you want to be publicly associated with a man who wants to smear shit all over himself and thinks gays should be killed. To borrow a phrase from Swanson’s own rant: “That’s not a nice thing to do.”

Kevin Swanson

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photo:covnantfamilychurch.net

It sounds to me like Swanson is confusing a same-sex wedding with a “Walking Dead” wedding. He has a really sick imagination.

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November 19, 2015

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NATIONAL NEWS

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An open letter from Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen’s statement on being HIV positive evident; the disease was not. In and around this perplexing and difficult time, I dazedly chose (or hired) the companionship of unsavory and insipid types. Regardless of their salt-less reputations, I always lead with condoms and honesty when it came to my condition. Sadly, my truth soon became their treason, as a deluge of blackmail and extortion took center stage in this circus of deceit. To date, I have paid out countless millions to these desperate charlatans. Locked in a vacuum of fear, I chose to allow their threats and skullduggery to vastly deplete future assets from my children, while my “secret” sat entombed in their hives of folly. (or so I thought) News Flash: This ends today. I’m claiming back my freedom. The scales of justice will swiftly and righteously rebalance themselves. In conclusion, I accept this condition not as a curse or scourge,

but rather as an opportunity and a challenge. An opportunity to help others. A challenge to better myself. Every day, of every month, of every year, countless individuals go to work, man their stations, fulfill their professional obligations with a host of disabilities. Diseases, imperfections, hurdles, detours. These maladies range from Lupus to Cancer, from paralysis to blindness, from Diabetes to Obesity. “Treated,” HIV is no different. My partying days are behind me. My philanthropic days are ahead of me. Earnest Hemingway once wrote: “Courage is grace under pressure.” I’ve served my time under pressure; I now embrace the courage, and the grace.

Love and Peace, Charlie Sheen

expert in the known universe, I began a rigorous and intensive treatment program. Not missing a beat, a med dose, or one shred of guidance, quickly my viral loads became undetectable. Like every other challenge in my life, again, I was victorious and kicking this disease’s ass. I wish my story had ended there. Unfortunately, for my family and myself, it had only just begun. The personal disbelief, karmic confusion, shame and anger lead to a temporary yet abysmal decent into profound substance abuse and fathomless drinking. It was a suicide run. Problem was, I’d forgotten that I’m too tough for such a cowardly departure. Yet, despite this loathsome and horrific odyssey, I was vigilant with my anti-viral program. My medical team could only shake their heads as each and every blood test returned levels revealing a state of remission. Even though I might have been trying to kill myself, one thing was radically

November 19, 2015

NEW YORK (AP) - Charlie Sheen issued the following statement Tuesday. What follows is the complete, unedited letter: Roughly four years ago, I suddenly found myself in the throws of a seismic and debilitating three-day cluster-migraine like headache. I was emergently hospitalized with what I believed to be a brain tumor or perhaps some unknown pathology. I was partially correct. Following a battery of endless tests, that included a hideous spinal tap, it was sadly and shockingly revealed to me that I was, in fact, positive for HIV. The news was a ‘mule kick’ to my soul. Those impossible words I absorbed and then tried to convince myself, that I was stuck, suspended, or even stranded inside some kind of alternate reality or nightmare, were to the absolute contrary. I was awake. It was true. reality. Under the brilliant and perfect care of Dr. Robert Huizenga as well as “the” leading infectious disease

November 19, 2015

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NATIONAL NEWS

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Indiana conservative to sponsor LGBT Bill

Arizona ‘Pregnant Man’ is sentenced for disorderly conduct

Indiana Senate President Pro Tempore David Long and Speaker of the House Brian Bosma. Photo: indystar.com

of Tuesday’s “Organization Day” - an ordinarily mundane day of speeches and administrative tasks that this year is expected to draw large crowds of religious conservatives and LGBT rights supporters to the Statehouse. That prompted lawmakers to promise that no legislation would be passed that day.

US bishops applaud Vatican official behind Kim Davis meeting objection. The Vatican insisted the meeting was not an endorsement and said she was one of several dozen people who had greeted Francis. Davis had briefly gone to jail rather than comply with a court order to issue same-sex marriage licenses, becoming a lightning rod for tensions over the U.S. Supreme Court ruling that legalized gay marriage nationwide. In his speech Monday in Baltimore, Vigano didn’t mention Davis. He urged the bishops to persevere in working to “preserve a moral order in society” and said they should not “fall prey” to “secularized and increasingly pagan” practices in broader society. He said Catholic colleges and universities, should do more to shore up Catholic identity at the schools. “The course must always be set by Christ and his church - never allowing influence or wealth to dictate what might be an improper orientation.” Vigano said.

SALT LAKE CITY, UT (AP) - A Utah judge reversed his decision to take a baby away from her lesbian foster parents and place her with a heterosexual couple after the ruling led to widespread backlash. Judge Scott Johansen signed an order, which was released Friday, that will allow the 9-month-old baby to stay with April Hoagland and Beckie Peirce, a married couple who live in the city of Price. It comes after Johansen said in court Tuesday that the baby would be removed from the couple’s home. Utah officials and the couple filed court challenges demanding the judge rescind the order. In his first decision, Johansen cited research that shows children do better when raised by heterosexual families. However, the American Psychological Association has said there’s no scientific basis that gay couples are unfit parents based on sexual orientation.

BALTIMORE, MD (AP) - The nation’s Roman Catholic bishops, at an annual assembly Monday, gave two standing ovations to the Vatican’s U.S. ambassador who was behind Pope Francis’ controversial meeting with Kim Davis. Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano received the warm reception as he made his customary address to the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, his first major public appearance since the uproar over the Kentucky clerk. Vigano turns 75 in January, the age when bishops are required to submit their resignations to the pope. The ambassador had invited Davis to be among those greeting the pope in the Vatican embassy in Washington last September during Francis’ visit to the country. Her lawyer caused an uproar when he announced the meeting soon after Francis returned to Rome, describing it as a papal affirmation of Davis’ approach to conscientious

Lesbians Win: get to keep baby in Utah case

November 19, 2015

PHOENIX, AZ (AP) - A transgender man in Arizona accused of stalking his estranged wife last year has been sentenced to one year of unsupervised probation. Maricopa County Superior Court officials say 41-year-old Thomas Trace Beatie was sentenced Monday. He pleaded guilty to one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct last month. Beatie was arrested after his spouse told Phoenix police that she found a GPS tracking device under her car in September 2014. Police investigators say Beatie admitted to installing the tracking device in 2012 and monitoring it though an online account. Beatie was born female and underwent the first of his gender-reassignment surgeries in 2001. He gave birth to his first child in 2008 and had two more by 2011 when he and his wife had already moved to Arizona from Hawaii.

changing” debate through their campaign slogan, which suggests the addition of “four words and a comma” to state law is all that’s needed to resolve the volatile issue. “It’s not just four words and a comma,” said Long. He added that discussion about “freedom of religion” has been sidelined and “we should not discount that as we discuss how to deal with this issue.” Long made the remarks at a forum that previewed the coming session and was hosted by the Indiana Chamber of Commerce, the voice of the state’s business establishment, which has called on lawmakers to approve protections for LGBT people. He appeared alongside Republican House Speaker Brian Bosma, as well as Democratic Party leaders, who are in the minority. It was the first time in months that either Bosma or Long substantively addressed the issue in public. The issue drives a wedge between two stalwart pillars of the Republican Party’s base: the business establishment and social conservatives. Thus far, GOP leaders have struggled to bridge the gap. The announcement from Long came in advance

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INDIANAPOLIS,IN (AP) - The GOP leader of Indiana’s state Senate announced Monday that a socially conservative lawmaker known for pushing religious and anti-abortion measures will sponsor a “comprehensive” bill addressing LGBT rights and religious protections. Republican leader David Long refused to give details about what the proposal will entail other than stating that Sen. Travis Holdman, R-Markle, is drafting the measure, which will be heard when the Legislature meets in January. Holdman declined to comment through a spokesman. For months, gay rights supporters and religious conservatives who clashed last spring over the state’s religious objections law have anticipated a bitter debate over LGBT rights when the Legislature convenes. Business groups and other supporters of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights are pushing the Legislature to adopt protections on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in housing, employment and public accommodation, while social conservatives want to address the concerns of people who object to homosexuality for religious reasons. Long accused LGTB supporters of “short-

November 19, 2015

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SUNSHINE STATE

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SARASOTA -- Michael Donald Edwards uses musicals and plays to stir up big ideas -- as well as to create new connections among his audiences. His American Character Project, entering its fourth season at Asolo Repertory Theatre, where he is the producing artistic director, tells the multi-threaded story of who and what we are as a country. Some of those threads, of course, are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Another of Edwards’ innovative programs, OUT@AsoloRep, regularly brings Sarasota’s LGBT community together in a meaningful way. For these and other contributions to our community, Edwards will receive Equality Florida’s highest honor, the Voice For Equality Award, at the organization’s annual Suncoast Celebration on November 21. The event will begin at 5 p.m. atop the Palm Avenue Parking Garage, 1289 N. Palm Ave., in downtown Sarasota. Edwards is entering his tenth season at Asolo Rep. Organizing ﬁve consecutive seasons around one big question -- what are the issues that have shaped the American character and are shaping it still? -- could have been an awkward history lesson. But the quality and diversity of his productions have created one theatrical success after another. “I think most people love the idea of being in a continuous state of learning, a continuous state of exploring and examining,” says Edwards. “We’re not coming to the theater for a mental massage. We’re coming to the theater for stimulation -- and sometimes a call to action -- but always deﬁnitely

a call to discuss, to think and examine….” “People need lots of reasons to come to the theater. And coming to hear a good story well told is just one of them. The other is to be around people, to meet new people, to hear new ideas. [These are] opportunities for conversation and expanding life experiences.” Edwards believes that theater also has a moral obligation to raise consciousness, to explore different perspectives. “We often have such timid imaginations in our politics, that we have to step in as artists and ﬁll in the gaps. ... The theater and the arts can help give us a much bigger sense of where we are and who we are and where we’re going.” OUT@AsoloRep, which gives LGBT audiences an opportunity to discuss each current production from a “queer” perspective, came together almost by accident. In 2009, Asolo Rep participated in a worldwide staged reading of The Laramie Project: Ten Years Later, about the murder of young Matthew Shepard. After the reading, listeners could participate in a discussion moderated at Lincoln Center in New York. Edwards said Asolo barely publicized the event. And yet, so many people came that some had to stand in the lobby listening through monitors. “Various community groups came and set up tables. It was just a concentration of people who are invested in gay social capital in Sarasota. We realized there were not that many opportunities for these people to gather.” Now, LGBT patrons are given the option of purchasing season tickets on one particular

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Equality Florida honors Michael Donald Edwards

Photo: heraldtribune.com)

night for each show. They gather afterward with Edwards, who talks a bit about the show. Two LGBT community organizations are also given an opportunity to speak about their activities and to solicit support. There are beverages and food. About 100 subscribers have signed up for this season already. “It’s become just a really fun social event, and a consciousness-raising event,” Edwards says. “People say, I didn’t know we had all this in Sarasota, I didn’t know we had all these organizations.” “It makes sense that we be a forum for that kind of discussion. It’s part of the whole idea that it’s not enough just to do shows. Each show has got to be an opportunity for building community. That’s really what we’re thinking here.”

Lifesavers: AIDS posters from the Wolfsonian opens Thursday

to HIV/AIDS. In many countries. The poster as a communicative tool was uncommon prior to the disease, while in other parts of the world, the poster’s heyday was long past. And yet, in part because the poster is inexpensive and easy to produce locally, the poster became a core vehicle for conveying information about the disease in many different countries throughout the world. The Stonewall Gallery is located at 2157 Wilton Drive in Wilton Manors, FL.

November 19, 2015

WILTON MANORS--Curated by Stonewall’s Chuck Ross, the Broward county premiere of the Wolfsonian-FIU’s impressive collection of international AIDS posters opens November 19 at 6 pm with a gala reception. Representing a selection of the Wolfsonian’s 3,600 AIDS-themed posters from over eighty countries, produced between 1985 and 2010, the posters provide a fascinating overview of the wideranging visual and messaging strategies employed in response

November 19, 2015

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SUNSHINE STATE

PAUL BERGE

to recognize Obergefell as Arthur’s surviving spouse on his death certificate. The Supreme Court recognized marriage equality nationwide last June after Obergefell and others filed suit with the court to strike down state same-sex marriage bans that barred them from getting married. “There are still too many places where LGBT Americans are targeted for harassment and violence, and there are too many young people who are uncertain and scared of what their future might hold,” Clinton said Monday after hearing about Ob. “Right now in America, you can get married on Saturday and be fired from your job on Monday just because of who you love.” In reality, Clinton came late to the party, failing to endorse same-sex marriage until 2013. Nevertheless, she has made it a cornerstone of her campaign in addition to endorsing the Equality act, a comprehensive nondiscrimination bill that would provide protections for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals who are currently not protected by federal law. On Tuesday, Greg Bourke and Michael DeLeon, two plaintifss in the Supreme Court case from Kentucky, also endorsed Clinton.

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FORT LAUDERDALE—Jim Obergefell, the lead plaintiff in the US Supreme Court case legalizing same-sex marriage, announced his endorsement for Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton last Sunday as the honored guest of Equality Florida’s fundraising gala held in his honor at the Hyatt Regency Pier Sixty-Six. The Bank of America building in downtown Fort Lauderdale was lighted in rainbow colors in tribute to Obergefell. “We have fought to not only change laws, but to change hearts, and now we need a President who will help us ﬁght to eliminate the injustices that occur regularly in our community, and the best person to do that is Hillary Clinton,” Obergefell said. “Hillary is a proven leader who will not only ensure that states are implementing marriage equality, but will work to end discrimination in our community whether it’s by passing the Equality Act or through state measures.” Because same-sex marriage was still outlawed in their home state of Ohio in 2013, Obergefell was forced to marry to partner of 20 years, John Arthur, aboard a medical jet in Maryland. At the time, Arthur was dying from ALS, eventually passing away six months later. Three months earlier, the pair ﬁled their lawsuit to force Ohio

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Obergefell endorses Hillary in Fort Lauderdale

Photo: lgbtqweekly.com)

“Although Hillary Clinton was late in the support of same sex marriage, she now gets how important equal rights are for LBGT Americans,” they said. “Hillary has broad and deep experience in government. She was an excellent Secretary of State and will be a strong president.”

Letter to the Editor

Sincerely, Wayne Whitson West Palm Beach

November 19, 2015

On Halloween, I attended the Wicked Manors street party for the ﬁrst time. In the course of the evening, to my horror, I realized my wallet had fallen out of my costume. On Sunday, I went to several venues, hopeful, but not overly optimistic that my wallet might have been found by someone and turned in. Luckily for me, my wallet turned up in Gym Bar’s Lost & Found Box, with ALL of its contents intact. So, THANK YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE, for ﬁnding my wallet & turning it in!! THANK YOU, GREG DEMERS of Gym Bar for getting my wallet back to me!! I NOW KNOW, that there are still some honest people left in the world!! And THANK YOU, CHARLIE, for getting me back to my hotel!!

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NATIONAL NEWS SPECIAL REPORT MORMON LEADERS stand behind rules for gays and their children

Church leaders want to avoid putting little children in a potential tug-of-war between same-sex couples at home and teachings and activities at church. BRADY McCOMBS Associated Press

November 19, 2015

Quorum Twelve Apostles

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - The Mormon church is standing behind its new rules targeting gay members and their children that generated widespread blowback from members, while providing more explanation about them. The rules issued last week are designed first and foremost to protect kids, following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ’s “tender love of children,” officials with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said in a news release Friday. “Church leaders want to avoid putting little children in a potential tug-of-war between same-sex couples at home and teachings and activities at church,” according to the release posted online and written by the head of the faith’s public affairs office. The rules ban baptisms for children living with gay parents until they turn 18, disavow samesex relationships and get approval from global church leaders. They also make gay marriages a sin worthy of expulsion. The gay marriage policy wasn’t surprising since church leaders have made clear their doctrinal opposition to such relationships. But the guidelines for children marked a jarring shift from the religion’s recent push to carve out

a more compassionate stance on LGBT issues. They prompted a flurry of discussion on Mormon websites, with the idea of targeting kids ruffling even conservative Latterday Saints who rarely question church decisions. After the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision last summer to make gay marriage legal across the United States, church leaders wanted “to draw a firm line and encourage consistency among local leaders,” the news release said. The church clarified that the rules apply only to children living primarily with a same-sex couple. Mormon officials also said children who have already been baptized or given priesthood duties - a common action for young Mormon boys - will not have those rescinded. For children of gay parents who have already notched those milestones, decisions about whether to grant them the next ordinances in the chain will be made by local leaders with the best interest of the child in mind. Local leaders are encouraged to ask for guidance from senior leaders when situations fall outside the new guidelines, the church said. They clarified that while

children of gay parents won’t be given the full spectrum of ordinances, they aren’t barred from attending worship services. “All children are to be treated with utmost respect and love. They are welcome to attend church meetings and participate in church activities,” said a letter signed by Mormon church president Thomas S. Monson and his top two counselors. “All children may receive priesthood blessings of healing and spiritual guidance.” Religions that reject samesex marriage are just starting to wrestle with how they should address the children of gay spouses and how much the families can be included in church life - if at all. Earlier this year, Pope Francis said in a sermon that Roman Catholic priests should not refuse baptism to anyone who seeks the sacrament. Still, bishops are the top authorities in their dioceses and can make such decisions on their own. Some U.S. bishops have ﬁred diocesan employees in same-sex marriages, or refused to enroll the children of gay parents in parish schools, saying their presence would compromise the church’s ability to provide clear moral teaching on homosexuality.

Photo: ldsblog.com

Among conservative Protestants, many denominations are structured in a way that gives broad discretion to individual congregations, so no overarching policies are in place. For the past several years, the Utah-based Mormon church, which reports 15 million members around the world, has tried to walk a delicate tightrope of becoming more gay-friendly while holding onto its belief that God intended marriage to be exclusively between a man and a woman. Leaders gave multiple speeches preaching a “fairness for all” approach that encourages compassion for gays while protecting religious liberties. The church backed a landmark Utah state law passed this year that added anti-discrimination protection for LGBT people while shielding religious rights. Mormon leaders said the rules for children target a narrow group since very few married gay couples want their children blessed and baptized in the church. They said the church is “holding ﬁrm to the doctrinal position of right and wrong” and extending love to all while its leaders navigate the complexities of diverse societies and rapidly changing social circumstances.

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NATIONAL NEWS SPECIAL REPORT

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All Photo: heraldextra.com

Protest of Mormon LGBT policy draws hundreds because Jesus says love everyone.” She is a straight mother of three kids who hadn’t been attending church for about eight years. Coco Barth and Nichole Jensen, a lesbian couple who were both raised in the faith, said they have been thinking about formally renouncing their membership and were compelled by the policy changes to ﬁnally do it. Barth, 19, said she came out as lesbian last summer and stopped attending church nearly two years ago. But she said the rule changes still stung her. “My family is still all really Mormon,” said Barth, of Cottonwood Heights, Utah. “It’s going to affect my life a lot. Maybe my kids will want to go to church with grandma and grandpa? They will be treated differently.” Across the street from the park where the rally took place stood one counter-protester who defended the church: Brandon Robertson. Dressed in a suit, the 20-year-old gay Mormon from Orem, Utah, held a sign with Bible verses and a picture of Jesus Christ and said people should stand behind what church leaders say. About the new policies, he said, “It’s coming out of place of love for these children. It’s giving them a grace period to make a decision on their own.” The rules, issued to local leaders around the world, prompted a

flurry of discussion on Mormon websites, with the idea of targeting kids ruffling even conservative Latter-day Saints. After the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision last summer to make gay marriage legal nationwide, church leaders wanted “to draw a firm line and encourage consistency among local leaders,” the Friday news release said. In addition to providing a forum for people to renounce their membership, event organizers wanted to show people there is life after Mormonism, even in a place like Utah where more than half of the state is estimated to be practicing Latter-day Saints. Micah McAllister runs a website with resources for exMormons. He and his wife Sandy Newcomb, also an ex-Mormon, came to show their support. Like many attendees, they come from families where nearly everyone is still devout Mormons. “There is community and other things out there that is better than what the LDS church is offering them,” McAllister said. They said it’s not fair that children of gay parents are being singled out when the church commonly baptizes kids who have parents who aren’t following church doctrine and rules. “They’re treating the gay community like they are criminals, and they are not,” Newcomb said.

church. They clarified that the rules apply only to children living primarily with a same-sex couple. They also said that while the children of gay parents won’t be given the full spectrum of ordinances, they aren’t barred from attending worship services. Mormon church spokesman Eric Hawkins said in a statement that officials hope the expanded clarification issued Friday will provide understanding and context to Latter-day Saints who were considering leaving the faith. But the new guidance didn’t sway those in attendance at the rally, attended by at least 500 people. Speakers harshly criticized a new set of rules that also make gay marriages a sin worthy of expulsion. “If you are hurting today, you are not alone. If you are angry today, you are not alone,” said Lauren Elise McNamara, one of the event organizers. “We are here for you and your families. Today we expand from members of a church that excludes to members of a world community that embraces. A world that is choosing love.” The crowd included gay and lesbian couples as well as straight couples. Many came with children. They held signs such as, “Standing on the side of love,” and “These policies harm all of us.” Connie Walker of Orem held a sign that read, “I’m resigning today

November 19, 2015

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - Several hundred people with roots in the Mormon faith gathered in Salt Lake City on Saturday to renounce the church’s new policies targeting gays and their children in an event that marked the latest illustration of the fervor the rule changes have caused. Billed as a mass resignation by Mormons, people filled out paperwork and dropped off the resignation letters at a church building. The large majority had stopped attending church years ago. But they said the new policy that bans baptisms for children of gay parents until the kids turn 18 and disavow same-sex relationships spurred them to come and formally cut ties and have their names removed from the faith’s membership rolls. “We’re supposed to love our children like God loves us,” said Teresa Schofield, a former Mormon who stopped attending more than a decade ago. “To ask someone to turn their back on their own child or for a child to turn their back on a parent, that’s unnecessary.” The rally came one day after The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints stood behind the policies issued on Nov. 5, while providing more explanation and clarifications. Officials said the rules are intended to prevent children from being caught in a tug-of-war between teachings at home and

November 19, 2015

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PHOTOS ADRIANNA CORTEZ /floridaagenda

EQUALITY GALA AT PIER 66

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PHOTOS MICHAEL DAVIS

EQUALITY FLORIDA COCKTAIL EVENT AT THE INTRACOASTAL HOME OF JOHN EVANS AND STEVE WOZENCRAFT

November 19, 2015

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November 19, 2015

BY ROMEO SAN VICENTE

November 19, 2015

photo: 1) theplace2.ru, 2) thetusk.com, 3) theﬁlmstage.com, 4) wikipedia.com

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DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

u King Cobra & James Franco

v Bear With Cheyenne & Lea

James Franco, in his seemingly never-ending quest to confer gayness upon himself via association, is producing what is sure to be a shocker of a movie called King Cobra. The film, directed by Justin Kelly – who also worked with Franco on the upcoming I Am Michael – will tell the ugly story of the 2007 murder of gay adult film producer Bryan Kocis, who had worked with gay porn star Brent Corrigan. Franco will act in the film, alongside Christian Slater (who’ll play Kocis), Molly Ringwald and Disney Channel’s Teen Beach and Teen Beach 2 alum Garrett Clayton as Corrigan. That last bit of casting makes perfect sense in a VanessaHudgins-and-Selena-Gomezstarring-in-Spring Breakers way. Can’t wait for this one to make us all feel creepy and upset.

Perhaps shockingly, the upcoming film Bear With Us, starring Cheyenne Jackson, has absolutely nothing to do with “bears” as they are commonly understood in the complex taxonomy of gay subcultures. No, this horror comedy is about an actual bear. An actual angry, murderous and hungry bear that happens upon a charming cabin in the woods where a couple is getting engaged. The official word is “think Jaws, with a bear,” but knowledgeable fans of killer animal movies know better: think Grizzly, that 1976 ripoff of Jaws about a giant ursine killer, or, in the words of that cheap B-movie’s lurid ad campaign, “18 feet of gut-crunching, man-eating terror.” Come to think of it, Grizzly was kind of a horror comedy, too. Anyway, Bear With Us, from indie filmmaker William J. Stribling, is currently in production, and will also feature – although we don’t know exactly what this means at the moment – “the voice of ” Orange is The New Black star Lea Delaria. Mysterious.

w Gay spying on Ben Whishaw x Stars hit Dirty Thirty London Spy, airing very soon in the U.K. on the BBC, sounds like just the ticket for all the Sherlock fans out there. Bond film regular Whishaw plays a gay young man deeply involved in London nightlife, who then finds himself in an unlikely romantic relationship with a man from the British Secret Intelligence Service (Edward Holcroft, from Kingsman: The Secret Service). When that man dies, Whishaw’s character is whisked into the world of espionage to uncover the truth. The five-part miniseries was written by gay writer Tom Rob Smith and is directed by Jakob Verbruggen (The Fall). Right now the show is mentioned on BBC America’s website, but no dates are set. That means it’s time to begin politely pestering them.

We don’t know if you’re allowed to be a YouTube sensation after thirty, but if all goes as planned, the trio of Hannah Hart, Mamrie Hart and Grace Helbig will have moved on to bigger things when their next ﬁlm, Dirty Thirty, is digitally released by Lionsgate. The YouTube stars – lesbian comic Hannah Hart’s My Drunk Kitchen is a favorite there -- have already had a streaming hit with Camp Takota, so Lionsgate decided to snap them up for this next project, which is about a birthday party gone wild. There’s no other information available yet, but the pattern of millennial female comics using the Internet to launch themselves is set thanks to breakout hits like Broad City, and this feels like the beginning of big things for these young women. The countdown to more famous funny people jumping on their bandwagon begins now.

Romeo San Vicente’s kitchen features what might be considered a surprising number of carb-rich treats for someone with such perfect abdominal muscles. You mad? He can be reached in care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

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November 19, 2015

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ATTORNEYS

Pump’n Inc Tom Bonanti 1271 NE 9th Avenue Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-557-1119 / pumpnincgym.com

Michael D. Becker Attorney at Law 201 NE 2nd Street Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-727-5067 / becker-lawyer.com Law Offices of George Castrataro 707 NE 3rd Avenue, Suite 300 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-573-1444 / lawgc.com Law Offices of Phillip Menditto 524 S Andrews Avenue, Suite 200 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-641-9100 / phillipmenditto.com Law Offices of Caro Kinsella 20801 Biscayne Blvd, Suite 403 Miami, FL 33180 954-304-2243 / immigrationlawyerfl.com Dean Trantalis Attorney 2255 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2226 / trantalislaw.com

AUTO Vista Motors BMW 744 N Federal Hwy Pompano Beach, FL 855-793-7093 / vistabmw.com

CHURCH / SPIRITUAL

FOOD / GROCERY Diana’s 12001 Avalon Lake Drive Orlando, FL 32828 407-207-0205 /dianasbakeryandcafe.com

Center for Spiritual Living 1550 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-566-2868 / cslftl.com Holy Angels Catholic Community 2917 NE 6th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33334 954-633-2987 / holyangelsﬂ.org Etz Chaim 1501 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-564-9232 / etzchaimﬂorida.org The Parish of St Francis & Clare 101 NE 3rd Street Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-731-8173 / stsfrancisandclare.org

COUNSELING Shoshana Paris House Call Counselor shoshana.paris@gmail.com 954-985-5362 / 305-951-1279

DENTAL

November 19, 2015

FINANCIAL

Bove Dental 2500 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 954-564-0181 / bovedentistry.com Magnolia Dental 12014 E. Colonial Drive, Ste 130 Orlando, FL 32826 407-205-9585/ MagnoliaDentalFL.com

Wilton Manors Dental 2517 N.E. 9th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-564-4746 / wiltonmanorsdental.com

EVENTS I DO Custom Events PO Box 2357 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-626-0131 / idocustomevents.com Source Events 605 Lincoln Road, #410 Miami Beach, FL 33139 305-672-9779 / sourceevents.com

FINANCIAL

FURNITURE

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MUSIC

PAWNBROKERS

REAL ESTATE

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HEALTH

UPHOLSTERY

Genesis Health Institute 1001 NE 26th Street Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-561-3175 / ghinstitute.com Better Hearing-World of Sounds 2450 E Commercial Blvd Fort Lauderdale, FL 33308 954-491-2560 betterhearingworldofsounds.com Ocean Therapy Center 2530 NE 15th Avenue Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-351-2299 oceantherapycenter.com

HELP WANTED

INSURANCE We Insure 1975 E Sunrise Blvd, Suite 602 Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33304 954-903-7519 / weinsureﬂ.com Marvel Quevedo Insurance Agency 5062 South Conway Road Orlando, FL 32812 407-737-7778

OPTICAL Island City Eyecare 2301 Wilton Drive, Suite C1 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-764-6906 / visionsource-ice.com

PHOTOGRAPHY Dennis Dean Images 3554 NE 12th Avenue Oakland Park, FL 33334 954-240-8307 / dennisdean.com

REAL ESTATE Galleria International Realty 945 Las Olas Boulvard Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301 954-234-8759 / galleriarealtors.com Joe Grano Realtor 1881 NE 26th Street, Suite 212 Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-931-0031 / joegrano.com

ORGANIZATIONS The Pride Center 2040 N Dixie Hwy Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-463-9005 / pridecenterﬂorida.com 350 S Federal Hwy, Deerﬁeld Beach, FL 33441 aconsignmentgallery@gmail.com

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PAWNBROKERS Tommy Strickland Realtor R

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Sunrise Pawnbrokers 3043 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306 954-563-3147 / SunrisePawn.com

November 19, 2015

954-421-2395

Out of the Closet 2097 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-358-5580 / outofthecloset.org

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YOUR LIFE: AN OWNER’S MANUAL

THE THREE SECOND RULE

By James Miller

November 19, 2015

e all strive to make healthy life changes, but often find they are difficult to maintain. One of the biggest changes people attempt in their life is improving their diet and exercise. I find that many of my clients will start a diet right around this time of year and then are frustrated when they gain weight over the holidays. They are then confident they are going to make a new year’s resolution and join a gym. The first three weeks of the year the gym is packed and then it returns to its usual crowd. I’ve developed the “Three Second Rule.” If you are already struggling to implement a healthy behavioral change and you think about the unhealthy behavior for longer than three seconds, you end up doing it. For example, let’s say you’ve resolved to go to the gym before work. Your alarm goes off and you lie in bed and think about how comfortable or tired you are for longer than three seconds, and then you roll over and go back to sleep. You may even tell yourself you’ll go to the gym later that afternoon or the next day. The afternoon arrives and you think about going to happy hour instead of the gym for

longer than three seconds, and you ﬁnd yourself ordering a drink. The cycle will repeat. This rule is applicable in all things. For example, you know you should avoid certain foods but you overhear your coworker talking about a new burger joint that is on your way home. As you drive home, you think about it longer than three seconds and the next think you know, you have ordered a burger. Another example is you are at the grocery store and you are avoiding certain aisles, proud of yourself until you see your favorite candy on a shelf. If you entertain the thought of how it tastes longer than three seconds, you will buy it. In everything we do, we must be proactive. When you can prepare for potential relapses, your likelihood for success signiﬁcantly increases. Using the previous examples let’s create workarounds. Have your gym clothes laid out the night before and your coffee ready to be made. As soon as the alarm sounds, you immediately get up instead of lying in bed for longer than three seconds. When you think about certain foods or impulse buys, it’s important to ask yourself, “Will this food help me attain my weight

loss goal?” You can’t justify a behavior if you hold yourself accountable. When you have no excuses, you will be more successful. You may be surprised that once you deny yourself the impulse, it typically leaves within the next thirty minutes. However, the more you think about a negative behavior, the more it consumes you. When you decide not to engage in the behavior, you must immediately ﬁll your mind with images of how you will look and feel when you achieve your goal. Retraining yourself to focus on the long-term goal instead of the short-term impulse will guarantee your success. This time of year, be mindful of the goals you set. When you are realistic with your goals and your daily schedule, you will be successful with your current diet and exercise routine.

James Miller is a licensed psychotherapist who resides in West Palm Beach, FL. He can be found at JamesMillerLifeology. com. For more information on this particular topic subscribe to his radio show: James Miller Lifeology through iTunes.

NCE ONE

LIF

ERE

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provides complimentary Health and Wellness services to financially challenged people living with HIV/AIDS and offers a global LGBT athletic mentoring program for amateur and professional athletes ranging from grade school to the professional ranks.

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The Brian Neal Fitness and Health Foundation

A 501(c)3 organization providing services to financially challenged people living with HIV/AIDS in Fort Lauderdale

2435 North Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305

BRIANNEALFITNESS.ORG

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November 19, 2015

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From The Horse’s Mouth

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PUZZLE

November 19, 2015

Across

1 Petty of A League of Their Own 5 Be reminded of S&M, e.g. 9 Arc on Bernstein’s music score 13 Nuts 14 Hunted animal 15 Rubber on a rim 16 Start of a hopeful saying by 53-Across 18 Cole Porter’s “___ Love Again” 19 “Get your ass moving!” 20 Toklas of 20th century Paris 21 More of the saying 24 West Side Story gang 27 Emissions-watching org. 28 Insurance giant 29 Like “kweer,” to spellers 34 Strip a fruit 35 More of the saying 36 “You’ve Made ___ Very Happy” 37 Part of Adam that was used to make Steve? 39 Sport of Pam Parsons, for short 40 Stepchild of Caitlyn 41 Shook up 42 End of the saying 47 Circles over Mary and Peter 48 Blow away 52 Norse port 53 ‘50s Hollywood heartthrob who lives on a horse ranch 55 Pansy supporter 56 Sometime defender of gay rights 57 Isherwood’s ___ Camera 58 Seemingly forever 59 Shout to Nellie 60 Stuff for oral gratification

Down

1 Unit of flagellation 2 Melville novel about a mutiny 3 Gambol 4 Tina dumped him 5 Insects that really suck 6 El Greco’s homeland 7 Ship, to seamen 8 Ball in the skull 9 Liquor source in Gomer’s Mayberry 10 Casino ceiling 11 Robert of Spenser: For Hire 12 Transsexual Richards 17 Dahl’s Willy 20 Ruck of Spin City 22 Place where you go straight 23 Per bottle of soda? 24 Suckers 25 Load 26 Gillette brand 29 ___ donna 30 In an early stage 31 Drop from a duct 32 Lesbos, for one 33 Opening for cock 35 Singer Williamson 38 Barely earns, with “out” 39 Language group including Zulu 41 Lover of Abraham 42 “___ were the days ...” 43 Can’t help but 44 First name in talk 45 Inn array 46 Gertrude painter 49 Colorado neighbor 50 Sea bottom captain 51 Pull out your shooter 53 “I taught I ___ a puddy tat!” 54 Interjection for Magnus Hirschfeld For the solution to this puzzle, go to www.floridaagenda.com/puzzle

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November 19, 2015

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THE WEEK: FORT LAUDERDALE .

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11/23 A Conversation with Carli

photo: facebook.com

11/21 Harmonious Holidays

The popular Ft. Lauderdale Gay Men’s Chorus begins its 2015-2016 season with Harmonious Holidays, a celebration of music to usher in the holiday season. Founding director Dr. Gary Keating is back at the helm, making sure that the Ft. Lauderdale Gay Mens’ Chorus—a South Florida institution for over thirty years—continues to enact its mission statement: building community through quality music performances and civic engagement that promotes a world that accepts and values diversity. 8:00 p.m. NSU Art Museum. 1 Las Olas Blvd. Fort Lauderdale. 33301.

November 19, 2015

By Patrick Robert

2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup Champion Carli Lloyd kicks off Broward College’s Speaker Series, telling her story of how determination, passion, and hard work leads to success. She discusses how inﬂuences like Michael Jordan and Muhammad Ali helped contribute to her motivation. The speech will be followed by a Q&A session with questions submitted by audience members. 7:30 p.m. Broward Center for the Performing Arts. 201 SW 5th Ave. Fort Lauderdale. 33312.

photo: totalsportek.com

photo: coubnokia.com

11/25 Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Using the postmodernism tenet of “pastiche,” Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox mixes contemporary pop songs with vintage style dancing and set design. The entire stage is set up like a speakeasy, with old-fashioned bartenders whipping up Prohibition-era cocktails. Songs are transformed: Miley Cyrus’ “We Can’t Stop” becomes a 1950s doo wop number; Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” has a jazz beat; Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” is infused with Irish folk music. 8:00 p.m. Broward Center for the Performing Arts. 201 SW 5th Ave. Fort Lauderdale. 33312.

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THE WEEK: MIAMI

photo: palmbeachpost.com

Heralding back to the famed yellow brick road Dorothy kept trying to follow, the title Yellow Dream Road refers to a series of plot elements in the new play. Cuban dramaturge and playwright Rogelio Orizondo explores the false hopes that come with the immigrant American Dream in this show presented by Teatro El Publico and The University of Miami. 5:00 p.m. Miami Dade County Auditorium. 2901 W. Flagler St. Miami. 33135.

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Saturday Night—one of Soundheim’s lesser known productions—originally had a rocky production. Fortunately, the show’s received multiple revivals and is considered a forgotten classic. The story involves two middleclass bachelor friends looking for status and ﬁnancial gain in 1920s era New York City. Romantic love throws their preconceived values off course. 8:00 p.m. Jerry Herman Ring Theatre. 1312 Miller Dr. Coral Gables. 33146.

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11/22 Yellow Dream Road

11/19 Saturday Night

11/20 Legends of the Old School

photo: miaminewtimes.com

Vanilla Ice became famous in the 1990s for his hit single “Ice, Ice Baby.” Unfortunately, that one-hit-wonder also led to Vanilla Ice becoming a whipping boy for comedians everywhere. Now, though, Robert Van Winkle has learned a way to translate his notoriety into a tour that rides the current wave of 1990s nostalgia. He is the top bill in the Legends of the Old School tour. Other acts include Salt-N-Pepa, TKA, 2 Live Crew, and Color Me Badd. 7:30 p.m. Bank United Center. 1245 Dauer Dr. Coral Gables. 33146.

photo: miamidadecountyauditoriumn.com

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THE WEEK: JACKSONVILLE .

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11/21 Dirty Dozen Brass Band

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The New Orleans based Dirty Dozen Brass Band incorporates a fusion of traditional jazz styles with R&B. The peak of their popularity happened in 1984 when they released their ﬁrst album My Feet Can’t Fall Me Now. The band takes particular pride in bringing back the brass band tradition and inspiring younger groups. 8:00 p.m. Ritz Theatre and Museum. 9825 Gate Pkwy N, Jacksonville. 32246.

11/20 Always a Bridesmaid

Four Southern friends make a solemn vow at their Senior Prom: no matter what, they will be in each other’s weddings. Thirty years later and the friends-for-life are still honoring that vow, while navigating their own messy love lives. This hilarious comedy explores the typical bridesmaids’ dilemmas: ugly dresses, catching the bouquet, and questioning the couple’s relationship. 8:00 p.m. Theatre Jacksonville. 2032 San Marco Blvd. Jacksonville. 32207.

photo:examiner.com

11/25 Christmas Carole

photo:theatrejax.com

November 19, 2015

By Patrick Robert

photo: arshtcenter.org

America’s longest running professional dinner theater’s Christmas tradition returns for another season. Bruce Allen Scudder’s Christmas Carole tells the classic tale of Scrooge, a cranky miser who discovers the true meaning of Christmas when he travels through time to visit his past, present, and future. The dinner choices include a holiday feast of turkey, honey-baked ham, and sweet potatoes soufﬂé cornbread dressing. 6:00 p.m. Alhambra Dinner Theatre. 12000 Beach Blvd. Jacksonville. 32246.

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THE WEEK: ORLANDO

Honduran-born comedian Carlos Mencia tackles topics as diverse as everyday hypocrisies, absurdities, ethnic stereotypes, race relations, immigration, war, patriotism, capitalism, pop culture, current events, and family. Carlos is best known for his wellreceived Comedy Central show, Mind of Mencia. 8:00 p.m. Improv Comedy Club. 9101 International Drive. Orlando. 32819.

American ska punk band Sublime found major commercial success in 1996 when their self-titled third album was released, two months after then lead singer Bradley Nowell’s death from heroin overdose. The album included the hit single “What I Got,” their most popular single still to this day. The band has sold over seventeen million albums worldwide and is considered one of the most popular ska bands of all time. Opening is Rome. 7:00 p.m. Hard Rock Live 6050 Universal Blvd. Orlando. 32819.

photo: metrolyrics.com

11/21 Monica

photo: comedybeat.com

“The Boy Is Mine” singer Monica may have fought with Brandy over the affections of a cheater, yet the R&B songstress is just as good as singing about true love as catﬁghts. Songs like “Don’t Take It Personal” and “Before You Walk Out of My Life” hit the Top Ten in the late 1990s. Tonight’s performance includes sets by comedians Michael Blackson and ShawtyShawty. 8:00 p.m. Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. 445 S. Magnolia Ave. Orlando. 32801.

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11/21 Sublime

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11/19 Carlos Mencia

photo:sublimestp.org

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November 19, 2015

Cruising

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THE WEEK: PALM BEACH .

By Patrick Robert

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11/21 Late Night Catechism

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The quintessential draconian nun archetype serves as the catalyst for humor in the popular comedy Late Night Catechism. The show begins with an instructor nun who consistently veers between benevolence and authoritativeness, rewarding her audience “class” with glow-inthe-dark rosaries, saint cards, and other religious artifact prizes. 7:30 p.m. Kravis Center for the Performing Arts. 701 Okeechobee Blvd. West Palm Beach. 33401. photo: antiquesandtheheart.com photo: ayoungertheatre.com

11/24 Cartoonists of the Gilded Age

11/20 Strangers on a Train

November 19, 2015

With a different Patricia Highsmith adaption receiving rave reviews and heavy Oscar buzz (Carol), it’s a great time to rediscover Hitchcock’s classic ﬁlm version of Strangers on a Train. The thriller follows a tennis star who sets off a deadly chain of events after a conversation with the wrong man on a train ride. 7:30 p.m. Arts Garage. 180 NE First St. Delray Beach. 33444.

photo: theshowstore.com

Little-known historical humor magazine Puck helped shape American humor throughout the early 1900s. Flagler Museum’s newest exhibit highlights the inﬂuential drawings made for the magazine—a collection of satirical cartoons pointing out the corruption in America at the time. 72 original drawings will be on display, generously donated from the collection of Jean S. and Frederic A. Sharf. 10:00 a.m. Flagler Museum. 1 Whitehall Way. Palm Beach. 33480.

The unique conceit of this melodrama is that four actors play over 150 roles—heroes, villains, men, and even inanimate objects. The show requires skillful quick changes and uses the plot as a means to comedy. Based on the Hitchcock ﬁlm, the story follows a murder at a London music hall that leads to the protagonist’s unwitting immersion into the international spy world. 8:00 p.m. Raymond James Theatre. 163 Third St. N. St. Petersburg. 33701.

Philip Ridley’s controversial play opens with a man and a woman shouting pornographic sentiments to each other. Their relationship becomes the centerpiece as the couple breaks down both physical and psychological obstacles to their codependent relationship. The drama was nominated for best new play at the London Fringe Festival and has received rave reviews throughout the country. 3:00 p.m. Silver Meteor Gallery. 2213 E. Sixth Ave. Ybor City. 33605.

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11/22 Tender Napalm

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11/19 The 39 Steps

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THE WEEK: TAMPA / ST. PETE

photo: parade.com

11/20 Heather McDonald

photo: americanstage.com

The popular Chelsea Lately regular has found success both on television and through standup. Her recent foray into late night TV revolved around a stand-up comedian’s favorite topic— sex. The show, All About Sex, was a roundtable discussion that premiered on TLC and received widespread critical acclaim. 8:00 p.m. Improv Comedy Theater. 1600 E. Eighth Ave. Tampa. 33605.

photo: tamparep.com

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