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GUY M A G A Z I N E EDITORIAL

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GUY M A G A Z I N E

Cover Model: Mikey Verdugo Photographer: Dennis Dean www.dennisdean.com

THIS WEEK IN GUY 22. WORTH THE WEIGHT. Bodytek Fitness owner Mikey Verdugo 36. LAST CALL. Rumors bartender Curtis Ciccone dishes on being a straight man in a gay world

58. ENTERTAINMENT. Enigmatic dance pop star Yukioh takes center stage 62. FIGHTING WORDS. We get in the ring with MMA's Shad Smith 78. LOVE+RELATIONSHIPS. Date Me Dot Com: 7 Rules for the Online Dater

12. Top Ten 14. The Last Word: Let's Talk About Sex 16. Breaking & Entering: Trey Gerrald. 19. Say What? 26. Nightlife: #LipServiceWednesday at Progress Bar 30. Village Pub Celebrates 3 Years in Business 40. Parting Shots 52. Game On! Are You Smarter Than a Gay Guy? 54. The Week 66. Community: The Pink Flamingo Awards 72. Fitness: Stop These Useless Exercises! 86. Screen Savor: Stonewalled

G M

10 TOP

of the week

From the hot topics to the hot messes, here's what you may have missed last week. BY DIEGO WYATT

QUEEN FOR A DAY Adam Lambert performed the lead single off The Original High, “Ghost Town,” with none other than legendary rock band Queen backing him up. Lambert is serving as the high-note hitting lead of the outﬁt for the South American leg of their tour. Photo: Freddy Main

10 DIVIDED WE STAND Findings from “Gay Men in America: Community at a Crossroads,” a Logo-sponsored study, show that 61% of gay men in their 20s and 30s believe that the gay community is less united today than it was in the past. The study surveyed 1,000 gayidentiﬁed men between the ages of 18-49. Photo Courtesy of The Independent

UTAH OR BUST Openly gay Neon Trees front man Tyler Glenn attended the International Afﬁrmation Conference in Provo, Utah. The gathering was attended by more than 500 LGBT-identiﬁed Mormons and their supporters. “I don’t want you to feel like you are abnormal,” said Glenn. “None of you are abnormal.” Preach.

Photo: Dan Hallman/Invision/AP

8 RINSE & REPEAT Cobra Club creator Robert Yang has unveiled his latest “interactive 3D art piece.” Rinse & Repeat is a gaming prototype that allows users to lather up nude men in virtual shower stalls. Who knew getting clean could make you feel so dirty? Photo: Vimeo

6 CHEEKY BEHAVIOR Handsome UK actor Tom Hiddleston bares his bum in the film Crimson Peaks in the name of equality. “It’s so often in movies that women are more naked than men and that’s unfair,” said Hiddleston. Well said Tom, but no explanation is necessary. Photo: Mari Sarai/ELLE UK

YOU'RE A MEAN ONE... Martin Shkreli, CEO and founder of Turing Pharmaceuticals, hiked the price of Daraprim, a medication used by individuals living with AIDS among others, from $13.50 a tablet to $750 a tablet. The public outcry later led to him announcing that he would drop the price. Photo: Francesco Nazardo

3 DANCING WITH THE STARS During the ﬁnal New York performance for her Rebel Heart tour, Madonna was joined on stage by none other than Anderson Cooper. The silver-haired hottie busted a move with the Material Girl during a performance of “Unapologetic Bitch.” After, Cooper took to Instagram to relive the moment. Photo: YouTube

ARRIVALS AND DEPARTURES Musician Azealia Banks came under fire yet again for her use of anti-gay slurs. While attempting to depart a cross-country flight, the “212” rapper was recorded calling a flight attendant “faggot.” Reportedly, Banks hissed the insult after a scuffle with another passenger. Photo: Brooke Nipur

CRUZ CONTROL Texas Senator Ted Cruz chopped it up on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. During a discussion on gay marriage, members of the studio audience began to boo the presidential hopeful. Colbert responded by asking the audience to let Cruz ﬁnish his statement. Well played, Colbert. Photo: CBS

5 NOMI MALONE FOREVER Cult classic Showgirls turned 20 last week! Although the ﬁlm’s creators did not know it at the time, the campy creation has become an iconic movie beloved by many in the gay community. Sure, the acting is absurd and the writing is terrible, but it is undeniably entertaining. Photo Courtesy of United Artists

THE LAST

WORD

PHOTO: ANDREI VISHNAYAKOV

BY DIEGO WYATT

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX ...BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR VIRGINITY IN A LONG TIME EITHER

side from religion, fewer things have divided the civilized world more than sex. Wars continue to be waged in its name and everyone seems to have something to say about it. For something that quite literally unites individuals, it’s pretty darn good at tearing us apart. When it comes to the gayosphere, sex takes the cake. Gay men are united and divided by it, sometimes both in the same night. To some, the very definition of being gay revolves around having sex with other men. As such, many gay men conflate their sexual proclivities with their identities. Some become the very manifestation of who they’d like to attract sexually and others build their persona around who they think others find sexually enticing. With the emphasis many within and outside of the community put on sex, slut-shaming is becoming all too common among gay men. Slut-shaming describes the act of stigmatizing others for what one perceives as sexual behavior that goes against what is considered appropriate or normal. It is most certainly a slippery slope in the gay community (in large part due the amount of lubricant used during gay sex acts). Kidding. Sort of. It is amazing, however, how so many

men can point the finger at others for their number of sexual partners or frequency of their bedroom encounters, when their own legs are pointed in the air regularly. Even if this is not the case, counting the number of men in someone else’s bed is merely a sign that you have too much time on your hands and quite possibly not enough men in your own bed. Aside from the short-lived gratification, sex has a number of health benefits. It helps you burn a few calories, it lowers your blood pressure and it may even reduce your risk of prostate cancer, according to a study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association. Translation: Perhaps you should spend less time passing judgment on others and more time having sex. You may just live longer. Sex is currency. We use it to barter for selfesteem and we trade it for memorable evenings on the town and nice things. Sometimes, we even set out to collect it when we feel like it is owed to us. Enjoying sex doesn’t make us morally bankrupt, even (and especially) when it is with different partners. Sex made you, but it doesn’t make you. Whether you are a virgin who can’t drive (that was a Clueless reference) or you can sit on a traffic cone with little to no discomfort (that was not a Clueless reference), we all deserve respect inside and outside of the bedroom. If that respect doesn’t start within our own community, it will never be achieved from those outside of our community.

TO CHIME IN ON THIS TOPIC, HEAD OVER TO GUYMAG.NET!

PHOT0 COURTESY OF TREY GERRALD

& ENTERING

BREAKING

TREY GERRALD

A SOUTHERN BOY WITH CHARMING ACTING CHOPS

ou may not be able to put a name with his face just yet, but chances are you’ve seen Trey Gerrald somewhere on your television or computer screen.

Gerrald has had minute (but memorable) appearances on Orange is the New Black, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Deadbeat and Next Caller. The openly gay South Carolina-native is also a member of It

Gets Funnier, an LGBT comedy network that delivers original content written and/ or performed by gay creatives. Gerrald is currently lending his considerable talents—he can land a punchline or steal the scene with a dramatic monologue—to the noteworthy LGBT-themed web series The Queens Project. The series follows the hysterical misadventures of a gaggle of friends coming of age in New York. Gerrald can next be seen in the series Abstract Poverty and next year’s Wiener-Dog. Catch Gerrald in The Queens Project, available for streaming on YouTube now.

The Southern Comfort Takeover. The largest transgender conference in the US has arrived in Fort Lauderdale. The 25th Annual Southern Comfort Conference will take place from September 29 through October 3 and is a gathering of vendors, entertainers and community leaders. The networking and educational symposium has attracted visitors (within and outside of the LGBT community) from all over the world to the city.

Chip Off the Shoulder. Doritos has partnered with nonprofit It Gets Better for a tasty way to show off your pride. The tortilla chip juggernaut is churning out limited-edition bags of Doritos Rainbows. The Cool Ranch-flavored chips come in shades of green, blue, red, purple and orange. These specialty snacks aren't available in stores—you can only get them if you donate $10 or more to the It Gets Better Project. Crunch for a good cause.

GET THE LATEST NEWS AND MORE HOT TOPICS AT GUYMAG.NET!

PHOTOS: SOUTHERN COMFORT; TWITTER

SCENE & HEARD

SHOPPING

SAY WHAT?

“Whenever I would see my friends get bullied, or my brother get hurt for his sexuality, I would become a raging lunatic. I would literally become a raging lunatic because I just can’t take it.”

“Chad, I’m really scared. I would really feel better if I could crawl into bed with you for a few minutes. I’ll leave your wiener alone." -Nick Jonas as a closeted jock in the pilot episode of FOX comedy Scream Queens

“Heard Trump shot himself in his Gucci Loafers. He’s dumb as a mentally challenged fence post. Trump,“You’re Fired!" -Cher via Twitter @Cher

-Ariana Granda in an interview with Ryan Murphy for VMan

“I literally told @TheresalTaraji to slap me as hard as possible. 'I'm from DC boy don't play,' she said." -Jussie Smollett via Twitter @Jussie Smollet about the season 2 opener of Empire

“Viola Davis for President!" -Andy Cohen via Twitter during the live telecast of this year's Emmy Awards @Andy

“He wanted to do three male hookers, like Charlie’s Angels, who’d go in and save relationships by having sex with the husband and the wife. I was too afraid then." -John Stamos in Details about Ryan Murphy

PHOTOGRAPHY: ARIANA GRANDE, AUSTIN HARGRAVE/BILLBOARD; NICK JONAS, SPENCER HEYFRON/MEN'S HEALTH; CHER COURTESY OF WBR; JUSSIE SMOLLETT, TALL SKINNY BLACK BOY PRODUCTIONS; ANDY COHEN, BRAVO; JOHN STAMOS, ALLEN BEREZOVSKY/WIREIMAGE

TALK IS CHEAP, BUT WHO ARE WE TO DENY THE POWER OF THE SPOKEN WORD? CHECK OUT THE BEST QUOTES OF THE WEEK.

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Fitness entrepreneur Mikey Verdugo is the real deal. The Miaminative stared Bodytek Fitness half a decade ago and his Midas touch has resulted in rapid expansion and a foothold in the South Florida fitness market. Here, we delve into the history of Bodytek to retrace Verdugo’s footsteps and follow the success he has experienced thus far.

he Wilton Manors location of Bodytek Fitness (2216 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305; 855-526-3983) is nestled snugly between a performing arts theater and an architectural firm along the N Dixie Highway fork connecting to NE 24th Street. The mirrors lining the interior are enough to inspire a Flashdance fantasy. Abandoned circular balance trainers, trampolines, towers of aerobic steps and stretches of exercise mats straddle the outskirts of the gym floor. Bold splashes of lime green paint on the walls brighten the space in the same way owner Mikey Verdugo does. The 41-year-old fitness expert radiates with energy, buzzing around the gym like a kid in a candy store. This location is a far cry from the humble digs where Bodytek was born. Five years ago, Verdugo started Bodytek in his 20’ x 20’ garage. Outfitted with a punching bag, free weights and a rowing machine among other equipment, Verdugo began embarking on an exciting journey that would yield unexpected success in no time. Within four months of setting up shop, 40 to 50 cars a night were crowding the streets around his house. Along with his new clients came calls from the bank, code enforcement and complaints from neighbors. Instead of crumbling under the weight and pressure of a burgeoning fitness empire, Verdugo buckled down and thought bigger. He opened the Davie location of Bodytek soon thereafter in a 1200-square foot warehouse. To the shock of close friends, Verdugo opened up the second location in Wilton Manors for the bustling fitness brand a month later. Before Verdugo became the toast of the SoFlo fitness universe, he was a cop for nearly a decade and also had his own staging and interior design company. For Verdugo, who has spent most of his life in or around the fitness industry, making

the transition into owning his own fitness brand was simply par for the course. “I started working out when I was 13 and fell in love with it,” remembers Verdugo. “When I was 16, I started to work the front desk at Gold’s Gym down in Miami Lakes. I was there from 16 to about 22. I was a personal trainer at 19 as well. In that time span, I became the General Manager for two gyms. I just love fitness.” Not long after finding his footing in Wilton Manors, this love of fitness motivated Verdugo to further expand Bodytek in his hometown. Although he grew up in Miami, Verdugo admits that he never spent much time in the trendy Wynwood district. After spending time in the area, he fell in love with its vibe and decided to set up shop there a year and a half ago. Much like his other locations, Bodytek Wynwood flourished. Verdugo has since revisited the Davie location and doubled the location in size. Despite such rapid growth in such a short amount of time, Verdugo isn’t in a rush to completely franchise Bodytek out just yet. “I’ve been approached to franchise or partner up by so many people,” confesses Verdugo. “Bodytek is my baby. Back in the day, my family had about 18 restaurants and we licensed them out and doing so killed them. I learned from that. People aren’t going to respect what’s yours like you do. To me, it’s personal.” Bodytek Fitness prides itself on helping clients reclaim their lives by providing intense, exercise-based health and fitness programs. Through specialized training and networking, Bodytek has crafted a community of support that has attracted patrons from all over Florida. Over the years, Verdugo has amassed an intensely loyal following from clients of all different walks of life.

HUMBLE BEGINNINGS. LEFT: A PHOTO OF VERDUGO'S GARAGE IN THE INITIAL STAGES OF BODYTEK FITNESS. RIGHT: SOME OF BODYTEK'S EARLIEST SUPPORTERS ENJOYING A WORKOUT IN VERDUGO'S GARAGE AND DRIVEWAY. PHOTOS COURTESY OF MIKEY VERDUGO.

“I have a client who’s 63 and she kicks ass,” says Verdugo of Bodytek’s diverse clientele. “At Davie, I have another client who’s an NFL player and he goes all out. That’s what’s great about our workouts. Everyone can do them.” South Florida is littered with gyms, each with some heaving, hurculean head turner as their spokesperson. Verdugo is quick to point out that all gyms aren’t created equally and Bodytek has managed to not get lost in the sweaty shuffle. “It’s South Florida and everyone wants to stay in shape here,” explains Verdugo. “You have your big box gyms like LA Fitness, you have the Crossfits and you have cardio-focused brands like Orange Theory. I really don’t know of any other [High Intensity Interval Training] facilities like Bodytek in the area, aside from a few in Miami. We incorporate everything in our workouts.” The Bodytek workout consists of consistently shocking the body and muscle memory through an ever evolving routine. No workout is ever the same, as trainers switch things up. One day, clients could very well be bouncing around between 15 different stations completing short intervals. The next, there may be six stations with longer training intervals and more reps. The changing format and fitness formula is a trademark of the Bodytkek workout. While patrons come for the incredible workouts, they return for the exemplary customer service. “We are incredibly personable with the clients,” says Verdugo about the welcoming

environment at Bodytek. “We’re not corporate and we know everyone’s name. It’s a Bodytek family. Every once in a while, we’ll get clients who have negative energy. They don’t last here. I don’t care about the money. I care about making everyone feel like they are part of something. So many people meet here and become friends outside of Bodytek. To me, you can’t put a price on that.” In a short span of time, Verdugo has expanded his brand to three locations with more on tap for next year. In January 2016, he is slated to launch an Aventura location followed by one in Boca. Bodytek is also hosting Battlefrog in November. The eight-mile run riddled with 30 to 40 obstacles is a team-building event that brings clients together outside of the studio. Ambitious and driven, Verdugo has overcome a surfeit of challenges by sticking to his guns and practicing what he preaches. It’s his clientele, however, that keeps him going in a business that he’s been in since he was an adolescent. “You are a walking billboard of what you do,” explains Verdugo. “If you’re out of shape, how are clients going to look up to you? Some of my clients have lost 100 pounds. I am helping them make those changes. This keeps me doing what I do. I’ve always been in the industry and I don’t know how or why, but a lot of it has to do with me wanting to help people. I truly enjoy motivating others and helping them achieve their goals.” Learn more about bodytekﬁtness.com.

Bodytek

www.

"IF YOU’RE OUT OF SHAPE, HOW ARE CLIENTS GOING TO LOOK UP TO YOU?" MIKEY VERDUGO 25

PHOTO COURTESY OF PROGRESS BAR

NIGHTLIFE

BY JAMEER BAPTISTE

#LIPSERVICEWEDNESDAY AT PROGRESS BAR

ustin Romme, General Manager of Progress Bar, and Albert Pierantoni, logistics manager & event coordinator at Progress Bar, have just made Wednesday nights the new jump off to the weekend, with an innovative event that lures in an impressive crowd and keeps them entertained until the very last drop. Each and every Wednesday join drag queen extraordinaire Amanda Austin for #LipServiceWednesday, as she interprets a new weekly theme with special guest drag performers and an audience lip sync battle that will have you grinning from ear to ear. “We like to do things that stand out, things that not every bar is doing,” explains Romme. “We like to stay outside of the box and different.” Other than just inviting a special guest drag performer to entertain the crowd alongside Amanda Austin, #LipServiceWednesday also invites a new “Rising Diva” to the stage to highlight their talents and introduce them to the Progress Bar audience. Every week, a new creative theme showcases each performer’s talent and sparks audience participation. The crowd just eats it up. We happened to stop by for '70s Disco with Sobe drag star Tiffany T. Fantasia. The first show starts at 11:30 pm.

“I wanted to create a place where people didn’t just come and drink,” says Pierantoni. “#LipServiceWednesday is about people having pure fun together.” By the second show at 12:30 am, patrons are giddy with excitement. This excitement intensifies the fun of the audience lip sync battle. Contestants strut their stuff on the patio, which doubles as a makeshift stage, to cheers and laughs. One shinning star, chosen by audience applause, wins a bar tab and a gift package from the night’s sponsor, Hustlers. Local drag queens like Carmen, Miata Monroe and Pleather Face Matthews came out in support. Even the 2015 winner of Dancing with the South Florida Stars, Luis Mendez, was in attendance. The Progress Bar Felicias softball team also made a cameo, complete with jelly shots and fierce heels. #LipServiceWednesday at Progress Bar is hands down the most fun-filled Wednesday night on the Drive. Be sure to make your presence known at Progress Bar by uploading your Instagram photos to their state of the art television displays with #ProgressBarSOFL and #Upshow. Progress Bar South Florida 2440 Wilton Dr. Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-533-4916

NIGHTLIFE

FAMILIAR FACES, FRESH IDEAS:

VILLAGE PUB CELEBRATES 3 YEARS IN BUSINESS BY DIEGO WYATT

PHOTO: GOOGLE MAPS

illage Pub is ringing in their third anniversary with a week of thrilling festivities. From October 5 though October 11, expect nothing but fabulous fun from the Wilton Drive hotspot. The quartet of owners, Greg Phelps, Mark Byard, Jim Kessinger and Alex Sadeghi, will open their doors for Theme Thrillin’ Threes, an unrivaled anniversary celebration spanning seven days jam-packed with giveaways and jaw-dropping performances. “We passed one more successful year and we’ve become closer to each other as team members and family,” says Sadeghi. Kissinger adds: “From my partners, I expect the same thing they’ve done the last three years: for them to put on a production that everybody in the community will enjoy.” Over the past three years, Village Pub has become a local favorite thanks in part to a fiercely loyal patronage and set of employees. In fact, 80 percent of the bar staff has been there from the beginning. “We always refer to them as family and they refer to each other as such too,” says Byard. “It’s something you just don’t see everywhere.” The celebratory week, principally sponsored by Ketel One Vodka, kicks off with their Turnabout on Monday October 5 at 8:30pm. It’s the one day of the year that the staff puts on a fun, crazy drag show for their patrons. This year’s genderbending extravaganza benefits Team Cintorain of the Smart Ride, who happen to be very good customers and friends of Village Pub. Monday is just the beginning. Tuesday October 6, Village Pub hosts Show Tune Tuesdays. Join fellow patrons as they belt out their favorite show tunes thanks to a little liquid courage from unbeatable drink specials. Wednesday October 7 and Thursday October 8 (at 8pm and 9:30pm, respectively), legendary duo Amy and Freddy take the stage to wow audiences with their stunning arrangements. We hope you’re keeping up, because this spectacular just keeps getting better.

Friday October 9—the actual date of Village Pub’s anniversary—there will be a cake cutting ceremony and anniversary speeches at 7:30pm. This will serve as a prelude to a performance by Brian Scott, star of Karaoke Battle USA, at 8pm. Village Pub’s Theme Thrillin’ Threes anniversary celebration comes to a close Sunday October 11 with another rousing performance from Brian Scott at 9pm. Scott’s performance and prize wheel finals will be followed by Village Pub’s smash weekend show Life’s a Drag, hosted by Daisy Deadpetals and Erika Norell. Parking, the owners assure, won’t be an issue as parking in the rear isn’t the only parking available. Moreover, valet is offered every day of the week. Be sure to grab good seats. this week is bound to be a blow out! Village Pub 2283 Wilton Dr. Wilton Manors, FL 33305 754-200-5244

CURTIS CICCONE Straight But Not Narrow 36

LAST CALL It’s one thing to notice that the bartender serving you drinks is a straight guy, but it’s an entirely diﬀerent ball game when you realize that the same bartender is a shy 26-yearold who ﬁts right into the scene like he is one of our very own. Curtis Ciccone, bartender extraordinaire at Rumors, steps away from the bar to reveal what it’s like to be a straight bartender in a gay world. WORDS BY JAMEER BAPTISTE | PHOTO BY DENNIS DEAN

What prompted you to be a bartender at a gay establishment? I moved down from my hometown of New Brighton, Pennsylvania. This was right after I got offered a promotion to become a sous chef, which was aligned with my career goals. For some reason, I just felt like I wanted a change. Also, my uncle was trying to get me to move down to Florida for sometime. I called him up and asked if the offer was still good and he said it was. I came down three weeks later. When I got to Florida, I didn’t have a job. My uncle’s friend talked to Matty’s on the Drive, which is now closed. They hooked me up with a bar back position. How long did it take you to get comfortable in the LGBT community? I never needed to get comfortable. I was the only child growing up and my uncle lived with me and my parents for about two years before he moved down to Florida. He became like a big brother to me. When I was 13 or 14, I made a random comment to my mom. I asked if he was gay and that was that. Also, while he was living in Florida, I would come down in the summer and visit with him and his partner at the time. I don’t think of people as gay or straight. I just see people as people, which probably has something to do with him being in my life. How do you co-mingle your straight friends with your gay friends? Down here, pretty much all of my friends are part of the community. I have a few straight friends down here, but I have not been able to establish a significant relationship with them. My gay friends seem to not accept what you tell them and live a more fun filled life, similar to how my straight friends up north acted. I have ADHD. I’ve always strayed away from the conventional 9 to 5 job in favor of jobs in the service industry, which, in itself, leads to more fun-filled people. Have you become an expert in translating popular gay lingo? I’ve been here for four

years and I’ve been alive for 26 years, which pretty much has been spent around my uncle. The lingo is common to me. Every once in a while though, people will refer to me as a "breeder" and that’s kind of odd. That’s the only lingo that has really caught me off guard. At least I understand what patrons are talking about, even though I still have to translate things in my head sometimes. It’s like speaking a whole different language. Of course, not everyone uses the lingo, but when they do I know what they’re saying. What is your most shocking gay experience? I will just go with Halloween. It was my most shocking; you know, where you think I’m not in Kansas anymore? The first year that I was down here for Halloween, I saw a guy in a grass skirt and coconuts with his private parts kind of hanging out. Back home, everyone was basically the same and people just dressed up in traditional costumes. Down here, it was obvious that people put a lot of effort into their costumes. I enjoy and can appreciate this effort, whether the look was intended to be provocative or elaborate. How do you handle getting hit on by the gay patrons while you work? I’m a shy, quiet guy that keeps to myself. When I’m around my friends, I’m the complete opposite. I’ve been told that I’m a flirt, but that is due to my personality. As long as you don’t cross those lines of being rude or lewd and you show me respect, I’ll show it back to you. Normally, I will thank the person and let them know that I am straight. I’ve been at Rumors for so long that most of the people know that I am straight by now. I don’t really get hit on anymore. When I do, however, the regulars who know me well get very entertained. Rumors Bar & Grill 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 954-565-8851

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Scandals Bar

PHOTOS COCO ALARCON

Prom Turnabout At Rumors Bar

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Thursday Night At Alibi Bar

PHOTOS COCO ALARCON

Friday Night At Gym Sports Bar

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DJ Rodolfo Bravat

PHOTOS ADRIANNA CORTEZ

Saturday Night At The Manor

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Jullians Studio 54 Party

PHOTOS ADRIANNA CORTEZ

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Illusions Pageant

PHOTOS ADRIANNA CORTEZ

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Exposed Pool Party

PHOTOS COCO ALARCON

Leather & Fetish Gear Show

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GAME ON!

ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A GAY GUY? YOU THINK IT’S EASY WALKING AROUND WITH SO MUCH USELESS POP CULTURE AND UNFORGETTABLE HISTORICAL KNOWLEDGE BOUNCING AROUND IN YOUR HEAD? WELL, IT’S NOT. IT’S TIME TO PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR IQ IS AND EARN YOUR RIGHT TO WAVE THAT RAINBOW FLAG WITH PRIDE.

In what year did the Stonewall Riots take place?

Which legendary ﬁlm starlet wrote and produced The Drag, the ﬁrst play with gay male content produced in the US?

What were gay men forced to wear as a symbol of their homosexuality in Nazi concentration camps during WWII. (Hint: A color and shape)

Which actor and chef is married to Neil Patrick Harris?

In 2012, this singer became the ﬁrst openly gay musician to debut at the top of the Billboard Charts.

What iconic fashion designer is often credited with popularizing the little black dress?

Which state was the ﬁrst to pass a bill requiring public schools to teach the historical accomplishments of gay men and lesbians?

What unabashedly gay director and writer is responsible for bringing the smash FOX series Empire to the small screen?

Who won the most recent season of RuPaul’s Drag Race?

THE SCORECARD 10/10. If you didn't know it already, you're very gay. Congratulations on being a card-carrying, rainbow ﬂag waving member of the tribe! 8-9/10. You're no Dan Savage, but you're still pretty ﬁerce. Now, don't go getting a big head about it. No, really. Don't. 6-7/10. You've been to your fair share of Pride events and probably watch more reality TV than you care to admit. (We won't tell). 5/10. You're bisexual. And that's OK. Please report to the nearest library and do a little research about the LGBT community. Thanks.

3-4/10. If you don't feel bad about your performance, you should. Public school is not to blame for your disappointing score. 1-2/10. You may be reading the wrong publication. Take a moment to review the cover and make an informed decision for yourself.

ANSWERS: 1. 1969; 2. MAE WEST; 3. THE PINK TRIANGLE; 4. DAVID BURTKA; 5. ADAM LAMBERT; 6. COCO CHANEL; 7. CALIFORNIA; 8. LEE DANIELS; 9. VIOLET CHACHKI

THE WEEK WHO. WHAT. WHEN. WHERE.

WELCOME BACK TO THE WEEK. WE'VE MISSED YOU! LUCKILY, THANKS TO US, YOU WON'T HAVE TO MISS OUT ON ANY OF THE HOTTEST TICKETS IN TOWN THIS WEEK. SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY THE RIDE. WE'VE DONE ALL OF THE WORK FOR YOU. AREN'T YOU THE LUCKY ONE! BY PATRICK ROBERT

CHECK OUT ALL OF THIS WEEK'S EVENTS AT GUYMAG.NET!

COLLECTIVE SOUL REVOLUTION LIVE 7:00PM

THU 10/1

Collective Soul capitalized on the alternative music renaissance of the early 1990s with their hit song “Shine” and later singles “Breathe,” “Wasting Time,” and ”December.” Since their breakthrough album Hints Allegations and Things Left Unsaid, the band has created seven number one rock hits. Their new album See What You Started by Continuing is scheduled to be released in October. 7:00 p.m. Revolution Live. 100 SW Third Ave. Fort Lauderdale. 33312.

FRI 10/2

MARC ANTHONY

AMERICAN AIRLINES ARENA 8PM Marc Anthony is the top selling tropical salsa singer of all time, having won two Grammys and five Latin Grammys. He has sold over twelve million albums worldwide, developing cross-over appeal in the late 1990s during the Latin music renaissance. In 2009, he was awarded the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute’s Lifetime Achievement Award. Opening is duo Gente de Zona. 8:00 p.m. American Airlines Arena. 601 Biscayne Blvd. Miami. 33132.

FRI 10/2

ODDBALL COMEDY FEST

PERFECT VODKA AMPHITHEATRE 5:00PM Funny or Die’s touring comedy festival features the two biggest names in stand-up this year: Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation) and Amy Schumer (Inside Amy Schumer). The two will be joined by Jeff Ross, Nikki Glaser, Anthony Jeselnik, Tim Minchin, and many more. 5:00 p.m. Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre. 601-7 Sansburys Way. West Palm Beach. 33411.

PHOTOS: COLLECTIVE SOUL, ALISON TOON; MARC ANTHONY, MEGA 96.3; BRAD PAISLEY, SEE MONTEREY; ANI DIFRANCO COURTESY OF ANI DIFRANCO. COLLECTIVE SOUL, MUSIKFEST; MARC ANTHONY, MUSIC TOUR; ODDBALL COMEDY FEST COURTESY OF AZIZ ANSARI.

BRAD PAISLEY

PERFECT VODKA AMPHITHEATRE 7:30PM

SAT 10/3

For a time, country music singers who supported LGBT issues were few and far between. Those times may be changing, but it’s important to honor trailblazers like Brad Paisley, who came out in favor of gay marriage way before it was considered faux pas not to. Not only is Paisley a class act ally, but he’s also one of the most popular country music singers working today. 7:30 p.m. Perfect Vodka Amphitheatre. 601-7 Sansburys Way. West Palm Beach. 33411.

SAT

DUENDE!

10/3

HIMMARSHEE VILLAGE 8PM In honor of Broward County’s 100th birthday, Himmarshee Village becomes a festival showcasing the talents and artistry of local performers. Today’s “Party of the Century” will feature an array of genres, including an international blend of dance, hip-hop, salsa, reggae, pop, and house. Local talent expected to perform include Adam David Band, Fushu Daiko, Gold Coast Jazz, Fabio Barros Dancers, Tito Puente Jr., and Matt Kramer Big Band. 8:00 p.m. HImmarshee Village. 401 SW 2nd St. Fort Lauderdale. 33301.

SUN 10/4

OCTOBERFEST

SAM ADAMS CASTLE & BEER HALL 6PM The Sam Adams Octoberfest in Wynwood celebrates its sixth year with an event full of dance, polka bands, DJs, food, a Miss Octoberfest pageant, strength contests, and, of course, beer, all taking place in a recreated authentic Bavarian Beer Hall. Entry is free, and there are multiple specials for the food and drinks available. 6:00 p.m. Sam Adams Castle and Beer Hall. 2250 NW Second Ave. Miami. 33127.

PHOTOS: BRAD PAISLEY, ROBB D. COHEN; DUENDE!, BROWARD.ORG; OCTOBERFEST, TOYOTA OF ORLANDO

THE WIZARD OF OZ EDUCATIONAL EXHIBIT MIAMI CHILDREN'S MUSEUM 10AM

This traveling 2,500 square foot interactive exhibit invites guests of all ages to embark on a multi-sensory, cross-disciplinary exploration of the Land of Oz. Guests discover personal strengths and gifts using literacy, reflection on movie characters, musical and performing arts, and investigations of light and science. The best part: a series of stylized movie posters and a museum quality replica of Dorothy’s Ruby Slippers. 10:00 a.m. Miami Children’s Museum. 980 MacArthur Causeway. Miami. 33132.

MON 10/5 ANI DIFRANCO

CULTURE ROOM 7:30PM

TUE 10/6 JOHN CLEESE AND ERIC IDLE KRAVIS CENTER FOR THE PRFORMING ARTS 6:30PM

Feminist icon Ani DiFranco has been a fixture of college radio for decades. Her wildly political and poetic songwriting focuses on themes of female empowerment, gay visibility, and abortion rights. She has won two Grammy Awards and the Woman of Courage Award from the National Organization of Women Opening is Ana Egge. 7:30 p.m. Culture Room. 3045 N. Federal Highway. Fort Lauderdale. 33306.

WED 10/7

Comedy legends John Cleese and Eric Idle are considered by many to be the godfathers of modern comedy, having pioneered today’s irreverent, absurdist comic sensibility. As founding members of Monty Python, Cleese and Idle introduced the world to a satirical brand of humor that is both wacky and smart. 8:00 p.m. Kravis Center for the Performing Arts. 701 Okeechobee Blvd. West Palm Beach. 33401. PHOTOS: THE WIZARD OF OZ EDUCATIONAL EXHIBIT, YOUTUBE; ANI DIFRANCO COURTESY OF ANI DIFRANCO; JOHN CLEESE AND ERIC IDLE, REUTERS

LOST IN TRANSLATION BY JAMEER BAPTISTE

ON THE GAYDAR

ENIGMATIC ACTOR, DANCE POP PROVOCATEUR AND TASTEMAKER YUKIOH IS A MULTI-FACETED ENTERTAINER. MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE'S AN ORIGINAL. BENEATH HIS BOUNDLESS CHARISMA LIES THE SOUL OF AN ARTIST LOOKING FOR NEW WAYS TO EXPRESS HIMSELF (IN ANY LANGUAGE).

iami resident and dance pop singer Yukioh is a ball of energy always ready to entertain a crowd with his fun and exotically artistic performances. “I love to entertain,” Yukioh expresses with deep passion. “I don’t necessarily need to be the best singer, dancer or musician, only the best entertainer.” Yukioh started his life as an entertainer in a very unique fashion. Born in Llama, Peru, young Yukioh was sheltered by his parents in a loving yet suﬀocating setting. When he saw a cattle call for child actors pop up on his television screen, he promised himself that he would make it to the casting whatever it took. At eight years of age, Yukioh, who had never crossed the street without parental supervision, managed to make it to the casting on his own. With his natural talent and an elaborate tale about his parent’s absence, Yukioh claimed a spot as a child actor on one of Peru’s televised children's programs. “I remembered it so clearly, my mom was sleeping at the time,” Yukioh recalls. “I had to tell so many diﬀerent stories to avoid getting caught.” Yukioh was raised by a Japanese father and a Peruvian mother who were extremely oldfashioned and held a rigid outlook on what it meant to be a boy who enjoyed the arts. His parents were very homophobic and confused the arts with homosexuality. It would be a battle that Yukioh would endure for years with his family.

“I was different in so many ways,” expresses Yukioh. “I’ve always been eccentric.” Yukioh has known that he is gender fluid since he was young, but he never let his parents' views stop him from being who he knew deep down inside he was meant to be. A big family move at the age of ten from Llama to Osaka, Japan stunted his rising childhood stardom. The move proved to be a hidden treasure for Yukioh. He escaped the confines of his parents at the age of 16. While working in a fabric factory 13 hours every day, he managed to enlist a Peruvian producer to help record his first dance pop single, the Spanglish tune "Viva la Vida." Yukioh, a quadrilingual in Spanish, Japanese, English and Portuguese, practiced English on his own at a young age. He would even speak in gibberish as a boy to mimic English. “I studied English in school loosely, but really learned English from life and singing,” mentions Yukioh. He also picked up an incredibly diverse take on fashion, incorporating elements of his unique personality with Spanish and Japanese heritage that collided to form his unique look. His appearance was so powerful that he won a scouting call in Japan for John Casablancas Modeling Agency at the age 18, which brought him to America for the first time in his life. “That was when it really hit me that dreams do come true,” admits Yukioh. For two years, while still living in Japan, Yukioh visited New York, Brazil, Mexico and went back to Peru for editorial modeling gigs with a number of world-renowned photographers. Meanwhile, his love for entertaining and passion for music still flourished and he was able to produce his first music video in 2008 for his song "Enamorado." In 2010, a good friend invited him to Miami to record his second video, "Ciudad de la Furia." It was an unusual experience for Yukioh, because he had never visited Miami and had no idea what to expect. He accepted the invitation and it prompted a change in his life forever.

ON THE GAYDAR

PHOTOS COURTESY OF YUKIOH

“I was wet from head to toe in every single one of my photos because of my Japanese attire,” recalls Yukioh. Yukioh went back to Japan, but within two years, after much convincing from friends, he moved to Miami. The move placed him in the ideal location for his career as a Spanish and English dance pop artist. It was hard to adjust at first, but he found his place and continued to flourish into the performer he is today.

to revamp his style, infusing his cultural background with rock and roll and indie fashion influences that make for a seductive one-of-a-kind look. “Fashion is creative, which is hard nowadays because everything is made already,” laments Yukioh. “I have one rule: to never copy.”

“It can be hard but every person can find their place in the world,” says Yukioh. “I fell in love with Miami.”

Today, Yukioh is focusing on his showcase for Orgullo 2015 (Spanish Pride) in Miami on October 3. The half hour theatrical performance will include singing, dancing and multiple wardrobe changes in true Yukioh fashion.

Since his move, Yukioh has produced three more music videos and countless song collaborations with other artists. Yukioh's latest musical work has all of the elements of his heritage. He has also continued

If you can’t get enough of Yukioh’s energetic spirit and enigmatic style, tune into Telemundo every weekday at 9:00 pm to see him play the bad boy role on Bajo el Mismo Cielo.

FIGHTING 62

WORDS

Seven years ago, Shad Smith accidentally became the first mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter to come out publicly via a New York Times feature. The story further catapulted the former felon and reformed addict into stardom and brought even greater attention to the MMA world. Long before it was in vogue for sports stars to come forward about their sexual orientation, Smith helped set the standard. Here, we get in the ring with Smith to discuss tough guys, coming out in prison and finally finding happiness. WORDS BY DIEGO WYATT | PHOTO BY ANDRES SERRANO

You came out back in 2008. Years later it seems as if there’s another sports figure coming out every week. Would you say gay public figures have a responsibility to share their sexual proclivities with the world? No. Not at all. That’s absolutely up to them. Your business is your business. If you want to share it and make people more comfortable with themselves, that’s fine. It’s up to each person. I don’t think anyone should have to do anything. As long as they’re not hurting anyone else, they shouldn’t have to do anything. It’s the people that run their mouths and are judgmental that should have to shut the f*ck up and keep their opinions to themselves. Why did you make the decision to come out publicly? The interviewer just asked me a question and I mentioned guys. I think I mentioned my boyfriend at the time and it threw him off a little. He was like, ‘Wait a minute. You’re gay?’ It was just an interview about underground fighting. Before that, you came out on a prison yard. Tell us about that experience. To be honest, I made a mistake. I was walking around the yard in prison and was approached by a transgender inmate about engaging in some sexual activities. I said, ‘No, I like men.’ After about 30 more feet, I looked over at my friend Mikey and asked if he was tripping over what I said. He said ‘no.’ He put his hand on my shoulders and said, ‘Don’t try to kiss me bro.’ [Laughs] He was like. ‘I love you. Whatever you do behind closed doors is your business. You’re just my friend. That’s it.’ I figured that if this dude that had known me for six months could accept me, then everybody had to. At the time, I couldn’t look in the mirror while I was shaving or brushing my teeth. I felt like a complete fraud. I would sit around talking about eating p*ssy. I felt like the biggest fraud and I really disliked myself. From that second on, I was completely open about it. If I heard someone talking about gay

people, I’d be like: ‘Hey motherf*cker! You know I’m gay, right?’ It completely changed the whole direction of my life. I really started to like myself after that. I can see it right now in my head. I can see Mikey and the look of compassion and kindness on his face. In your New York Times profile, you mentioned that when you were younger you tried to be the toughest person around to keep others from suspecting that you are gay. You also began struggling with addiction before you became a fullfledged teen. How did your experiences as a youth impact you as an adult? I realized I was gay when I was eight. For three years, I was really scared. When I was 11-years-old, one of my neighbors molested me and gave me alcohol. I fell in love with alcohol at that moment. All of a sudden, the anxiety went away. Everything was gone. I thought from that second on, I’d have alcohol everyday. It started a whirlwind. It lowered my inhibitions so that when people asked me if I wanted to try meth and coke and heroin and all of those things, I did. When I was 25, I came out on the prison yard. I got rid of that monkey on my back, but I had a whole bunch of addictions at that time. For the next 13 years I was battling with that. On February 8, 2011, I quit that stuff. That’s when everything really turned around. You’re out now. Do you still feel the need to prove your toughness so people won’t make assumptions about you as a gay man? Nope. I’m pretty happy with myself now. I let everyone believe what they want, as long as they don’t bother me or talk crazy to me. Usually, people don’t want to fight with me—especially after I give them my little tough guy look. If I tell them to leave me the f*ck alone, they usually do. What’s your professional life been like since coming out? It has been amazing. The only problems I had were when I was in the closet.

PHOT0S COURTESY OF SHAD SMITH SHAD SMITH AND CHRISTIAN JOHNSON

People are quick to attribute misogyny and homophobia to the world of sports, particularly ones like mixed martial arts. Has this been your experience? It never has been like that. Most of these MMA guys have great senses of humor. They’re just fun to be around. They all want to be tough guys and it’s just fun and exciting. They think what outsiders assume about MMA is humorous. They have a great outlook on things. Not all of them, of course. The ones that have a problem with me don’t bother me. Talk to us about what you’re up to now, seven years after letting the world into your personal life. I have a pretty severe neck injury that I feel, unless I’m competing. I’d really love to compete again, but I’m getting old and I’m not aggressive. You have to have a killer instinct to be competitive in mixed martial arts and I seem to have lost it. I still love the sport. I’m just not that good anymore. I hate being honest with myself like that, but it’s true. I also work at a drug and alcohol treatment facility now. That’s been an amazing experience. It’s a good feeling when you see people get jobs and become productive members of society again. You’re also in school. Tell us about what you’re studying and what you plan to do with your degree. I’m studying Psychology and I’m very close to getting a college degree. I quit school in the 6th grade. That’s when I started drinking. When I was 15, I spent a year incarcerated. Years later, when I was in prison, I would see the guys that I was there with and they were serving life sentences. That means they don’t get to go on dates or go to their favorite restaurants.

They don’t get anything like that for the rest of their lives. I want to open up a transition school for guys with art, music and different facets through which they can channel their energy. That’s my goal and right now I’m having a blast learning all of the things on the side about politics and history—stuff I had zero clue about before. Now, I can have an intelligent conversation in any of those areas. You’ve have what appears to be an irrepressible spirit and such a positive outlook on life. How do you maintain it? I surround myself with people like Christian Johnson. He’s my best friend. He inspires me and motivates me every day, just by the way he carries himself. He doesn’t do all the sh*t that most youngsters are doing. He’s a bad*ss. He’s going to be a UFC guy. He’s going to be one of the best in the world. Life is an amazing experience. You can look at the bad side of anything and you can look at the good side of anything. When you look at the good side of life, things are much much brighter. My life is beautiful, wonderful and fun. You’ve had some pretty incredible life experiences. What would you say is the most important life lesson you’ve learned so far? I’ve learned that people are people and they are allowed to believe whatever they want. It’s no one’s business. As long as people aren’t trying to push stuff down your throat, leave them alone. Let them believe what they want. I’m the most judgmental guy in the whole world. That’s my biggest character defect and I work on it constantly. I’ve learned not be so judgmental.

PHOTO: FACEBOOK

COMMUNITY

BY JAMEER BAPTISTE

AND THE PINK FLAMINGO AWARD GOES TO...

ori Lynch, Executive Director of the LGBT Visitor Center on Miami Beach, has done it again! The 3rd Annual Pink Flamingo Awards goes off without a hitch. For the second year in a row, Lynch has produced a spectacular awards ceremony that honors individuals, businesses and organizations in the South Florida community (particularly Miami-Dade County). The ceremony not only recognizes those in the community, but it also helps raise funds for the LGBT Visitor Center on Miami Beach so they can continue to provide great services and workshops to the community around the year. The evening started off with a musical treat by Lynch and her team of backup dancers and South Beach drag mainstays Tiffany T. Fantasia and Adora. For the second year in a row, comedian, Ant lit up the room and sparked incessant laughter as different presenters took to the stage to announce various category winners. The awards concluded with a heartfelt song by Lynch and the Miami Gay Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Chorus. What is truly exceptional about the soiree, however, is that every winner is nominated and selected by voters in the community.

The winners of the 3rd Annual Pink Flamingo Awards are as follows: Favorite Hotel/Resort: Fontainebleau Miami Beach Favorite Hotel/Boutique: The Betsy South Beach Favorite Restaurant/Fine Dining: Joe's Stone Crab Favorite Restaurant/Casual Dining: Palace, Every Queen Needs A Palace Favorite Chef: Michelle Bernstein Favorite Fundraiser Event/1 Day: AIDS Walk Miami Favorite Fundraiser Event/Weekend or longer: Miami Beach Gay Pride Favorite Drag Queen: Adora Favorite Singer or Band: Karina Iglesias Favorite Nightlife Destination: House Nightclub Favorite Dance Club: House Nightclub Favorite DJ: DJ Citizen Jane Favorite Bartender: Charlie Dominguez - Score Favorite Promoter: Holam Antonetti Lesbo GoGo! Favorite Media Personality: Roxanne Vargas Favorite Miami Attraction: Lincoln Rd. Favorite Retail Store: H&M Favorite Gym: Crunch Favorite Spa: The Standard Spa Favorite Nonprofit Organization: Girl Noticed Favorite Local Hero: Tony Lima

DINING

STOP THESE USELESS EXERCISES! BY TOM BONANTI

FITNESS

henever you embark upon an exercise routine there are several factors to keep in mind. First, the workout must be safe and in keeping with realistic, pre-set goals. Second, it must be challenging enough for you to see and feel gains quickly. Third, it should include a repertoire of fun, effective movements and activities. The following exercises, in my opinion, are not only useless, but on occasion they can actually cause injury to the fitness enthusiast. Let’s take a look at these culprits and suggest healthy and effective alternatives. BEWARE OF SIT-UPS Traditional sit-ups on the floor, hands behind the head, are not only a waste of time, but they can cause neck and lowback pain. Clearly, this exercise does not provide the resistance necessary to build stronger, defined abdominals. In addition, sit-ups can cause you to pull recklessly upon your neck and roll up on your lower back and spine. Your seven cervical vertebrae and lumbar area of the back will scream “ouch” in no time! Sit ups also fail to isolate your abdominal area (rectus abdominus and internal/external obliques) and often tax your deeper hip flexors which can cause deep lower back pain. Instead of spinning your wheels and risking injury, try crunches, elbows to knees. This isolates the abdominals you are trying to work and you’ll feel the burn in your mid-section in no time! ABDOMINAL EXERCISES AREN'T ALL THEY'RE CRACKED UP TO BE

No body part is the target of so many fad exercises as the abdominals. One such movement is the “plank”. It requires you to hold a variant of the push-up position, but with your forearms rather than your hands on the floor. Touted as an ideal ab exercise, it is anything but that. It lacks the progressive resistance needed to build muscles; it does not work ab muscles through any range of motion; it does not burn fat and calories. For an effective alternative, try the crunch (see above

paragraph). Pushing away from the table, snack cart and vending machine is also an effective movement at cutting, shaping and sculpting abdominal muscles. RAGE AGAINST THE AB MACHINE Another ineffective exercise for abdominal muscles is the seated ab crunch machine. In addition to being hard to move in and out of; this apparatus (and variations of it) can place undue stress on your spine often resulting in back strain and disc injuries. So many people forget that for building muscle and sculpting a lean midsection you need a thorough overall fitness program which includes: resistance training, aerobics, and a sound nutritional program. There are no short cuts or magic machines that will produce easy and immediate results. BEHIND THE NECK EXERCISES ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND Any pulling or pressing movement above the head, but behind the neck is sure to cause problems. Behind the neck barbell presses and lateral pull downs behind the head have been responsible for more shoulder injuries than any other exercises. Instead of building deltoids and back, these movements stress the 4 deep rotator cuff muscles that attach the humerus to the scapula. Result: sometimes permanent rotator-cuff damage. Instead, focus upon traditional overhead military presses with dumbbells for boulder shoulders. Seated on an incline bench, simply press dumbbells directly over the head, squeeze and lower weights to the shoulders. Wide grip lat pulldowns to the top of the chest rather than behind the neck will give you that “V” shaped back.

Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and licensed massage therapist with his own gym and studio, Pump’n Inc. www.pumpnincgym. com at 1271 NE 9th Avenue in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. 33304. Contact Tom TrainerTomB@aol.com with all questions or set up a free consultation by calling him at (954) 557-1119.

HEALTH & FITNESS

DATE ME DOT COM 7 RULES FOR THE ONLINE DATER

BY DIEGO WYATT

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

decade ago, it was all so easy. You’d see a guy or a girl in a store, on the street, in a bar, a bookstore or in a [insert any public place that is not considered creepy or remotely sexual by the general public] and you’d walk up and introduce yourself. You’d engage in a face-to-face conversation (remember those?) and then ask them out on a date. Based on a three-minute interaction you’d know whether or not you wanted to see them any further; no need for additional pictures, incessant back and forth or riﬂing through an absurd, contrived and possibly incriminating list of their favorite things. Things made sense. And then technology came along and screwed everything up (or made it easier depending on your current relationship status). The general public has been conned into thinking they want what the two people in an eHarmony ad have: The kind of relationship that will have you running around in open ﬁelds with your arms outstretched or giggling to yourself in corner cafes. This brand of digital love

MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS. Any number of unsavory or fabricated characters could very well be on the other end of your digital device. Always hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.

looks a lot like a bipolar episode. After the matchmaking dot com craze came the rise of the apps. Grindr, Blendr, Scruff, Buff, Gruff or whatever they’re naming them now have brought the dating world to your mobile device allowing you to solicit dates by pimping yourself around cyberspace. Congratulations. One thing this online dating phenomenon has created, however, is possibility. Online dating brings together people who probably would have never interacted otherwise. So whether you’re a farmer, retired, adulterous, boring or Republican (or a retired, adulterous, boring Republican farmer), there is a dating site or dating app for you. Knowing how to navigate these shark tanks is another ordeal entirely. Here, we spell out the rules of engagement for online dating, a primer in etiquette to keep you from growing old alone. If you are old and alone, it may just keep you from staying that way for the remaining years you have on earth. You’re welcome.

TELL THE TRUTH. Be honest about who you are. With any luck, it will rub oﬀ on your digital suitors. Either way, you won’t have to worry about getting caught up in any storytelling.

LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS

PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS. If something is too good to be true, it often is. Also, be sure to make a mental note of any bizarre acts or inconsistencies you may encounter.

IGNORE YOUR EX. If you see an ex, block them immediately. No matter how it ended, things are bound to get awkward. There's no need to see how they look now or figure out what they've been up to.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. Not everyone comes to online dating with the same intentions. Whether you’re looking for a serious relationship, a shameless onenighter, friendship or entertainment, know what you want and communicate that to potential suitors. This is sure to save you (and them) endless headaches.

MAINTAIN SOME MYSTERY. There’s nothing worse than reading someone’s entire life story in their dating profile. Be careful not to overshare or ask too many questions. Leave some room for a conversation.

DON’T SETTLE. Although it’s imperative to manage your expectations, it’s also important to have some set of standards for yourself. Don't waste you time. If you’re not interested in someone, move on.

HEALTH & FITNESS

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screen savor BY GREGG SHAPIRO

PHOTO COURTESY OF ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS

STONEWALLED STONEWALL. The late Nigel Finch’s 1995 film Stonewall, based on Martin Duberman’s acclaimed book with a screenplay by Ricki Beadle Blair, might have been flawed, but it’s a far better movie than the new Stonewall (Roadside Attractions), directed by gay director Roland Emmerich, featuring a catastrophically awful screenplay by gay playwright Jon Robin Baitz. Even before its release, the film was creating a stir because of the supposed lack of minority representation within the cast. In all honesty, that’s small potatoes in comparison to the way that the movie doesn’t think that the subject of the Stonewall Inn is compelling enough on its own. Instead, it’s bogged down by the story of a gay kid escaping small-town Indiana to come to the big, bad city to be who he is. He’s cute, but he’s just not that interesting. In June 1969, with homosexuality still against the law and classified as a mental illness,

fresh-faced lost sheep Danny (Jeremy Irvine) arrives in New York’s West Village with a hastily packed suitcase and big plans for attending Columbia University in the fall. He left his rural Midwestern home earlier than planned after his homophobic high school football coach father discovered that Danny and the team’s star player Joe (Karl Glusman) have been huddling together off the field. Landing in Sheridan Square, near the Stonewall Inn, Danny meets trans hustler Ray (Jonny Beauchamp), aka Ramona, and his queer crew, including the legendary Marsha P. Johnson (Otoja Abit) and gay rights advocate Bob Kohler (Patrick Garrow). Swept up in the scene, Danny has a variety of new, exciting and terrifying experiences, including being paid for sex, bar raids, getting beaten up by cops and being romanced by hot gay activist Trevor (Jonathan Rhys Meyers).

PHOTO OF JOJO BABY BY ANDREA BAUER

To its credit, Stonewall includes a fascinating section about the bar’s bouncer/manager Ed Murphy (Ron Perlman) who procured hustlers for high profile folks such as a cross-dressing J. Edgar Hoover. Because of his mob and pimping connections and blackmail activities, Murphy is presented as the main focus of Deputy Seymour Pine’s (Matt Craven) primary motivation for raiding the bar. The biggest problem is that we’ve seen some of this before in the aforementioned 1995 Stonewall movie. The bummer is that the history of the Stonewall bar itself gets buried in the excess. Maybe someone somewhere will finally make a movie about the Stonewall that is deserving of the title. As they say, the third time’s the charm. JOJO BABY: WITHOUT THE MASK. Finally making its way to DVD, the Clive Barkerproduced LGBT film fest selection Jojo Baby: Without the Mask (MVD Visual) is a doc about legendary club kid and doll-maker Jojo Baby, co-directed by Dana Buning and Mark Danforth. Well-loved in the art world and nightclub scene, Jojo Baby credits both his late mother (who taught him to sew by hand) and the late Greer Lankton (a trans artist who worked with Jim Henson on

Sesame Street) with teaching him his craft. In fact, it was Lankton who discouraged Jojo from attending art school. Jojo’s dolls, consisting of wood, wire, human teeth and hair and glass eyes are on display in both his gallery and apartment. Working on multiple projects simultaneously, Jojo is also known for transforming himself into works of art. In addition to his assortment of tattoos, Jojo prides himself on his costumes as well as his skills with make-up, something he credits to attending Mary Kay parties. When dressed up, Jojo states that he feels more confident, has more energy and feels more in control. While the filmmakers incorporate interviews with several people close to Jojo, including his brother Jay Jay and best friend Sal-E, Jojo Baby is the primary focus and the one who tells his story the best. Jojo, who has a penchant for “rough trade” (although he quotes Boy George in regards to sex, saying “I’d rather have a cup of tea”), talks openly about his relationship troubles as well as his health issues, including his HIV+ status and bout with testicular cancer, as well as his Roman Catholic background and time in seminary. The DVD doesn’t contain any bonus material to speak of.

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