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Letter from the Publisher
I
hope everyone had a great season and enjoyed many of the wonderful things South Florida has to offer. Over the past few months, Guy Magazine and the Florida Agenda have transitioned our circulation to work towards becoming Fort Lauderdale’s #1 choice for our avid readers and loyal advertisers in 2012. For our valued advertisers, we are now exclusively distributing our publications within a 50mile radius in South Florida only. This reach represents over 90% of the customers that will frequent your businesses. The result of this dynamic strategy is that our advertisers will no longer need to pay a premium to any other publication for out-of-area circulation that has proven not to be effective in bringing the anticipated business to your establishments. Thanks to all of our advertising business partners who have embraced this proven strategy. We look forward to working with new clients, who will benefit substantially from this cost effective way to grow their businesses. Additionally, they will maximize their marketing budgets as we target ALL the LGBT spending power in the Fort Lauderdale and Miami marketplace. My goal to expand Multimedia Platforms, LLC has come to fruition. This past week MMP entered into a Joint venture partnership with publicly traded company Cybermesh International. Stock symbol CYTL. I was also named new CEO of Cybermesh International and Chairman of the Board. MMP received 12 million shares of common stock in the transaction and I personally signed a three-year employment contract. We are now positioned to begin the process of executing LGBT print and online business acquisitions to grow our media company throughout North America. Having access to the public markets for capital and having stock to offer our future business partners provides Publishers around the country with a valued exit strategy to reward them for their incredible commitment to LGBT publishing. To our loyal readers and viewers online, this also provides you an opportunity to own your own fair share of our company as a shareholder so you can be a part of producing publications, online platforms and mobile applications that are educating and entertaining our readers and viewers all over the world. It is imperative that we report the news and support initiatives in our newspaper and future newspapers around the country that are important and relevant to the LGBT community today and for future generations to come. It is also important that we continue to showcase the great people, places and things that entertain us all around the world through our Men’s Entertainment Magazines and future Magazines in newly acquired markets. Our online platforms have exploded in strength with over 7,000 fans on our Facebook page, with over 5,000 weekly page views on our entertainment website www.guymag.net. Our Florida Agenda site, www.FloridaAgenda.com, enjoys thousands of viewers and offers a great online platform to stay up-to-the-minute with cutting-edge LGBT relevant news stories, features and insightful editorial discussions. This past month, we relocated our offices to 2435 N. Dixie Hwy in Wilton Manors. This move was done strategically to merge with Sterling Accounting Firm to manage all our accounting, bookkeeping and invoicing. Jeff Sterling has also become the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) for Cybermesh International and will be named to the board of directors. I want to thank all of our readers, online supporters and our loyal advertising business partners for the past several years of incredible support. Without you, we could not serve the community in the ways that we do. Media can and does change lives. We take this responsibility very seriously, and we encourage you to join us as we strive toward being your voice and the voices of those who cannot be heard. Hope all have a great summer. Best Regards,
Bobby Blair
Publisher,CEO Cybermesh International/Multimedia Platforms LLC/Multimedia Platforms Worldwide LLC Stock Trading Symbol: CYTL
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t 12 Guys Night Ou e id Gu r Ba 22 ide 28 Happy Hours Gu l el ss Ru 32 Dale 36 The Scene 40 Adam & Ease 48 Guy Dining 52 Guy Bytes o 56 George Castratar Cover Phot el o: 58 Guy Trav JOSE s ne Jo Photo by: De 62 Love nnis Dean de nnisdean.com Underwear: andrewchris 64 Fitness tian.com Bobby Blair Publisher Cliff Dunn Editor Jason Otero Creative Director Editorial Contributors Duncan St. Thibault, Tom Bonanti, Andy Kress, Adam Strong, Robert Elias Deaton, Dale Madison, Richard David Chamberlain, Grant James Production Dennis Dean Editorial Photographer Stephen Kuttner Photographer Alexander Maxwell Photographer Administrative Chris Hamel, Silas Thebert Sales & Marketing Keith Chamlee Sales Manager keithchamlee@guymag.net - 954-465-1563 Keith Norris Client Services Executive keithnorris@guymag.net - 404-550-8030 Dale Madison Client Services Executive dalemadison1@aol.com - 954-478-2415 Marvin Nathan Client Services Executive marvinnathan@guymag.net - 954-903-4771x504 National Sales Rivendell Media National Ad Representatives 212-242-6863 Display Ads Placement Ad Deadline: Thursday, Noon Camera Ready Artwork Deadline: Friday, Noon Display Advertising sales@guymag.net - 954-903-4771 Classifieds Ads Text Ad Deadline: Thursday, 5 p.m. Placement Ad Deadline: Thursday, 5 p.m. Camera Ready Artwork Deadline: Friday, Noon Main Office 2435 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone 954-903-4771 Fax 954-607-5712, editor@guymag.net,
Experience us online at “Like” Us!
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Opinions expressed by advertisers, columnists, feature writers or other contributors are not necessarily the opinions of Multimedia Platforms, LLC or its staff. All advertisements, pictures, text and illustrations are published with the understanding that the advertisers are fully authorized and have secured proper written consent for use thereof. Multimedia Platforms, LLC shall not be held responsible for any errors, loss or expense or liabilities on advertisements accepted after the weekly deadline. Publication of the name, photograph of any person, or advertisement contained in this issue is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person, advertiser, or organization. Partial or complete reproduction of any advertisement, news article, feature, or photograph from Multimedia Platforms is strictly prohibited. Multimedia Platforms, LLC is a registered trademark. A $30 or 1.5% (whichever is greater) fee will be charged for all NSF checks. © 2012, Multimedia Platforms LLC. All rights reserved.
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Mr. Incredible!
Joseph, Corey, Greg, Jeremy, Dillon, & Jon from Texas feeling hot and lively at Cinderella’s Castle
Sal Mathew from CA, Dan from FtL, & Judson from Ca ready to finish the day at the Crystal Palace
Keith and Mike from DC didn’t let anyone spoil their fun
Corey, Joe, Jon, Adam, Philip, & Daniel looking good after a day in the sun magazine | guy
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Josh, Garret, Greg, and Charie from Central FL heading home after having a very gay day!
Chris, Sean, Arielle, Phil, Tyler, and Edgar from the Orlando/Central Florida area Paul from NY and Steve from Chicago pose & smile
Brian, Cade, and Danny Met at Disney World 5 Years Ago... and have been friends ever since
Cute British couple was excited to be shot for a gay publication, but more excited about their first Disney trip! guymag.net
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GayDays Party @ Typhoon Lagoon
guys night OUT
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bar guide ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oGayborhood tradition since 1997. Comfortable, inviting atmosphere with indoor video bars, outdoor drinking and dining. Drink specials all week, with mammoth 22-ounce Long Island Iced Teas for $3 on Thursdays. BILL’S FILLING STATION 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oVideos, pool tables, dart boards, dance floor, happy hour, live shows, Tuesday and Thursday karaoke – and great burgers to boot. Fun and friendly truck-stop-themed bar, great staff. BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oOver 100 of the sexiest men from all over the world. Go-go dancers, cages, billiards, 2-4-1 Happy Hours. Drag em- cees and did we mention the boys? BOOM 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oThe bar with two names features a dance club and Gayborhood bar. Drag Bingo on
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Mondays, karaoke Mondays and Tuesdays, dance music Fridays and Saturdays, and (indoor) Sunday T-Dance. CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave Wilton Manors oFriendly atmosphere, unpretentious clientele and staff. Next to Island City Pizza (so you can get your drink AND your slice on). CUBBY HOLE 823 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oButch bar and grill with a rockin’ daytime crowd (and a fun nighttime one, too). Fifty-cent pool, 2-for-1 drinks all day every day, video games, hot movies on HDTV and DirecTV. Thursdays it’s Bare Bear Chest Night, and every Friday and Saturday, the fur flies with Hot Bears on Poles (where the Grizzlies Grind)! DEPOT CABANA BAR AND GRILL 2935 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale oAdjacent to the America’s Best Inn and Suites. Pool open daily - No Cover or Day Pass. Great food, daily happy hour, Sunday afternoon T-Dance Poolside. Karaoke and live music. Open daily at 11:30 a.m.
DUDES 3270 NE 33rd St Fort Lauderdale oMen dancing for men. Hot go-go boys in an upscale atmosphere, piano lounge for more quiet interludes. Steamy shower shows. JOHNNY’S 1116 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oClub, bar, lounge. Male dancers and the men who love (to ogle) them. Sunday amateur strip contest (and karaoke!). LIPS 1421 E Oakland Park Blvd Oakland Park oThe Ultimate in Drag Dining. Dinner and shows six nights a week. Sunday Gospel Brunch with the Sisters of Sequins. THE MANOR 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWeHo vibe (think: LA’s The Abbey) in the heart of the Gayborhood. Dine, drink, dance, play, mingle. Theme rooms (salsa and merengue every weekend in the Latin Quarter!). Live dancing and dining.
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bar guide MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oDrink specials, billiards, and a chill gayborhood vibe. 75 cent drinks on Wednesdays. No Drama, No Smoking. MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar. Karaoke, drags shows, Patio Bar and open at 9 a.m. daily. MONA’S 502 E Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCocktail Lounge in the heart of Searstown. Fun customers, fun bartenders and fun proprietor (the Legendary Jerry). Outside patio. Wednesday karaoke, Thursday Speedball Tournament. NAKED GRAPE 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oRelaxing, friendly, hip, unique. The alternative gathering place on Wilton Dr. Now serving tapas nightly. Social Hour features $5 house wine glasses, $1 Barcelona Bites, and In The Biz all the time. RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave Fort Lauderdale oVoted World’s Favorite Leather Bar. Pig Dance first Saturday of the month – South Florida’s
Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors
Busiest, Craziest Monthly Party (with caged hunks at midnight on Saturdays – Is there a downside to this?).
Monday In the Biz, Thursday Leather Nights. They bring the party (and the mattresses), you bring the booze.
ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2449 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oNexus of the A-Gay List. Be Seen in the Scene (without making one). Food, folks, libations, and a killer Sunday Funday.
SMARTY PANTS 2400 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oCozy neighborhood bar with daily happy hour, and regular patrons. Show night Thursdays at 9 p.m. Karaoke Friday and Saturday nights, with matinee on Sunday afternoon.
SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors oA line-dancin’, tight blue jeans-wearin’ good time. Country and western music, two-steppin’, three-steppin’, pool tables, and themed events year ‘round. Cowboys and Indians was never this much fun, Pilgrim. SIDELINES 2031 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors oWhere sports come first. Nationally known destination sports bar with TVs streaming NFL, MLB, NBA and college games. Pool tables, dart boards and large indoor (and now smoke-free) facility. Outdoor patio features area for smokers. Mixed crowd of gay men and women (who would have thought?). Featured in Bloomberg Businessweek and recommended by LOGO. SLAMMER 321 W Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale oPrivate Men’s Club. Pay cover, then uncover.
THE STABLE 205 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale oLevis-and-leather neighborhood bar, where the bears line dance and the cowboys are VERY friendly. TORPEDO 2829 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale oDance, shoot pool, drink til 4 a.m., 7 nights a week. Doors open at midnight; dance til dawn. WILTON’S BIER GARDEN 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o German cuisine meets Der Gayborhood, in a fun, relaxed atmosphere. Upstairs dining, downstairs outdoor patio and bar, DJ music, and a fun staff make one of Wilton Manors’ newest venues a good time to be had by all.
Miami / Miami Beach CLUB SUGAR 2301 SW 32nd Ave Miami oGay Latin scene, with Salsa, Merengue, Reggaeton, Hip Hop and House music always playing. DISCOTEKKA 950 NE 2nd Ave Miami oHot music, hot scene, hot bartenders, and hot patrons in the hot heart of Downtown Miami. JOHNNY’S MIAMI 63 NE 14th Street Downtown Miami oThe second location of the infamous Club, bar, lounge. Male dancers and the men who love (to ogle) them. Multiple weekly events including Latin Thursdays and Drag Queen Mondays and no cover. MOVA LOUNGE 1625 Michigan Ave Miami Beach oOn Miami Beach’s famed Lincoln Road, never
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a cover. Drink specials all week long, live DJs, high energy music and a fun crowd getting their dance on til late. PALACE BAR 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach oThis bar and restaurant in the heart of South Beach’s Art Deco District. Mouth- watering burgers, boys (and girls!). Weekend cabaret shows Thursday through Sunday. SCORE 727 Lincoln Rd Miami Beach oDance, drink, party all night on Miami Beach’s Lincoln Road. Tons of events throughout the year, including fundraisers for Winter Party, White Party, and Miami Beach Gay Pride. SPACE 34 NE 11th St Miami oMingle and mix with gays and str8s in the heart of Downtown Miami. Indoor dance floors and outdoor rooftop bar, spectacular light show.
SWINGING RICHARDS 17450 Biscayne Blvd N Miami oThe only gay strip club in Southern Florida to offer FULLY NUDE dancers. Smokin’ hot dancers all week long. TWIST 1057 Washington Ave Miami Beach oGreat music, friendly staff, hot tourists and locals. Never a cover, always a groove. Bungalow Bar = Hot Men. In SoBe’s Art Deco District. VLADA LOUNGE 3215 NE 2nd Ave Miami oUrban, sophisticated and chic in Midtown Miami with a bar that ices over. New York pedigree meets Miami attitude. Nightly DJs, never a cover.
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happy hours
Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors
BILL’S FILLING STATION 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour half-off drink prices from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., Monday through Friday, with an additional halfprice “Bear Necessities” Happy Hour on Friday nights from Midnight to close. BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily, with 2-4-1 mixed drinks and brew. BOOM 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Half-priced drink Happy Hours Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Fridays and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., as well as $7 premium martinis all day long. CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Seven-day Happy Hour from 11 a.m. til 9:30 p.m., with $1.75 domestic drafts, $2.50 domestic bottles, $2.75 imports, $2.50 well drinks, $2.75 calls, $3 premiums, and $4.75 Jaeger shots. CUBBY HOLE 823 N Federal Hwy. Fort Lauderdale) o Happy Hour with 2-4-1 drinks all day every day. The Depot Cabana Bar and Grill (2935 N Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale): Happy Hour features halfprice drinks, Monday through Friday from 11:30 a.m. til 8 p.m. DUDES ON THE BEACH 3270 NE 33rd St. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour features a seven day a week 2-4-1 special from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. GEORGIE’S ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Friday. JOHNNY’S CLUB, BAR, AND LOUNGE 1116 W Broward Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour runs seven days, Monday through Thursday from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m., Fridays and Saturdays
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from 3 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Sundays from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., with varying drink specials depending the day, and discounted drinks starting at $4. THE MANOR RESTAURANT AND NIGHTCLUB 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Wednesday through Friday from open ‘til 9 p.m., 2-4-1 drinks and $5 tapas. MATTY’S ON THE DRIVE 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o 2-4-1 Happy Hour Monday through Saturday from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and a drink chip that’s good through 10 p.m.! MONA’S COCKTAIL LOUNGE (next to Lisa’s Backyard) 502 E Sunrise Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour is celebrated seven days a week from noon till 9 p.m., with $2.50 domestic beers and well drinks, and $1.25 drafts. MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs through 9 p.m., seven days, with drinks specials that average about $1-$1.50 off per mixed drink or brew. NAKED GRAPE WINE BAR 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o “Social Hour” from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., with $5 glasses of house wine, and $1 Barcelona Bites. On Thursdays, buy one flat bread or panini, get one 1/2 price.
happy hours PINCHé TAqUERIA 2045 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o A NYC-by-way-of-Tijuana-transplant, offering great outdoor atmosphere and a daily 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Happy Hour with $4 well drinks, $5 Pinché margaritas, and $20 margarita pitchers, as well as half-priced appetizers from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. PJ’S CORNER POCKET 924 N Flagler Drrive Fort Lauderdale o Monday through Friday Happy Hour with $1 off every drink, as well as an everyday five 7 oz. Bud Lights for $5 special. RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave. Fort Lauderdale o Fort Lauderdale’s oldest gay bar under the same ownership, a leather, Levis, and uniform bar with hot men and a 3 p.m. to 9 p.m. daily 2-4-1 Happy Hour (weekends included!). RODEO RESTAURANT AND BAR 2033 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Select Happy Hour specials menu: 50% off bottles of wine, Tuesdays from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.; half-price martinis on Wednesdays from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m., and Thursday Ladies Nights, with half-price well drinks, beer, and wine glasses. ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2249 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour Mondays through Fridays from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. with half-priced premium well, beer, and house wines and $1 off all other cocktails (excluding premium wines).
Fort Lauderdale / Wilton Manors
SIDELINES SPORTS BAR 2031-A Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour runs daily—for the first time!—from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m. with half-price drinks (the other popular Gayborhood-variation on the split-level-drink-price), followed by a back-half Happy Hour from Midnight-toclose, also with (according to their Web site) half-price libations. SMARTY PANTS 3038 N Federal Highway Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour seven days a week, starting at 9 a.m. and continuing through 8 p.m., with daily specials and discounts off their low drink prices. THE STABLE COUNTRY WESTERN BAR 205 E Oakland Park Blvd. Fort Lauderdale o Happy Hour Monday through Thursday 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and Friday through Sunday, noon through 9 p.m., with at least $1 off their regular prices on libations.
TROPICS 2000 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour starts at 4 p.m. and runs through 9 p.m., Monday through Friday. Drinks are two-for-theprice-of-one (hereinafter, 2-4-1). WILTON’S BIER GARDEN 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors o Happy Hour including 2-4-1 domestic draft beer, 2-4-1 well drinks, and 2-4-1 Coastal Vines house wine selections.
SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave. Wilton Manors o Happy Hour at the main bar that runs Monday through Saturday from noon to 9 p.m., with $1-to-$2 drink special discounts, depending on what beverages you’re enjoying. All-day Happy Hour on Sundays.
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happy hours JOHNNY’S MIAMI 62 NE 14th St. Miami o $5 drinks all night, Wednesday through Sundays. PALACE BAR & GRILL 1200 Ocean Drive Miami Beach o Friday Happy Hour from 5-9 p.m. MAGNUM LOUNGE 709 NE 79th St. Miami Happy Hour 5 p.m.-8 p.m. with $4 margaritas and drink specials every night of the week. TWIST 1057 Washington Ave. Miami Beach o Happy Hour 2-for-1 drink specials Friday through Wednesday, 1 p.m.-9 p.m. and all day Thursday. Eat and be merry with a free barbeque on Fridays and Sundays, 6 p.m.-8 p.m.
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Miami / Miami Beach
MOVA LOUNGE 1625 Michigan Ave. Miami Beach o Thursdays $4 Miller Lites and $6 Finlandia Vodka. Friday Happy Hour runs 6 p.m.-9 p.m. with half-priced cocktails. DISCOTEKKA 950 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Sunday nights with “Drag’s a Bitch” and $3 Bud Lights and $5 well drinks. VLADA LOUNGE 3215 NE 2nd Ave. Miami o Daily Happy Hour two-for-one specials, 4 p.m.-8 p.m.
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snap
shot
E By DAL
ON MADIS
Dale Russell and team: Remembering the “Real” in Real Estate
W
hen was the last time you heard a Realtor tell you, “It’s an amazing time in the real estate market”? Dale Russell— the man behind the Dale Russell Realty Network and the “face” of the Five Points intersection billboard—is “bullish” about the local real estate, noting that lower inventory around town translates to increased sales. “It’s the first time in 18 months that there has been a real decrease in inventory, and the first time prices have started to increase,” he notes. “Today, prices are up seven to 11% in Wilton Manors.” Russell cites the Wilton Station condos as an example of the Law of Supply and Demand, and the evidence of its presence in South Florida’s gay village. He says prices there average $289,000, a jump from previous listing rates, and
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that just six units are currently available, compared with a year ago when 30 to 40 units were listed. Russell points to this and other markers that indicate a turnaround in the market. Russell offers L’Hermitage on the beach as an example. The luxury oceanfront condo is now 10 years old, and very stable in terms of residents, with nothing available for sale, an almost unheard-of situation. He also points to growth in neighboring Miami-Dade County. “There are over 50,000 units currently under construction there,” Russell notes. “In that market, a group of investors got together and pooled their resources, and are making a huge difference there.” Closer to home, Russell says that a lot of new growth in Wilton Manors comes from commercial ventures, with new restaurants, bars, and shops opening up along the Drive and Dixie Highway, and that rental prices are once again spiking, another indicator of economic recovery. He also points to government programs for those with an eye on the real estate market. “Currently, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are offering special incentives for buyers. They understand that they have to step up help restore confidence,” Russell says. Russell—the past President of The Pride Center at Equality Park and, with his business and life partner, Jan Carpenter, an active participant in local charitable activities and service organizations—was instrumental in helping The Pride Center obtain their new location on North Dixie Highway. Although he brokered the deal on the real estate side, Russell and his network refused to accept a commission for the transaction, donating their profit instead to help with The Pride Center’s renovations. Russell said that it’s important to take what one hears about the real estate market in its proper context. “You can’t listen to CNN or many of the local newscasts, because they are still talking ‘doom and gloom,’” he advises. “You really need to go online and look at what’s going on with the local markets. Get your facts and figures. Last year there were 11.1 million visitors to Greater Fort Lauderdale, and that exposure is huge, because so many of those people fall in love with the weather and the community, and they translate into potential buyers.”
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the SCene
By GRANT JAMES
azealia Banks: “1991”
R
apper and lyricist Azealia Banks was actually born in 1991, from which year she takes the name of her new EP. You can tell just from listening to “1991,” which mixes elements of house, rap, and R&B—all with a 90s flare. The Harlem-born hoodrat (who is openly bisexual) is a classic “lady in the streets, freak on the mic.” Her raps are fast and loose, with 90s house music serving as a phenomenal backdrop for the songs. In addition to rapping, Banks also does her share of singing on the EP, which fits nicely, and serves to break the songs up a little. She does have some musical similarities to Lil’ Kim, Foxy Brown, and Eve, but she manages to keep the EP fun and fresh overall. Hopefully, “1991” will lead to a bigger success when her debut album, “Broke With Expensive Taste,” reportedly drops sometime this year.
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Scissor Sisters: “Magic Hour”
I
t’s apparent that Scissor Sisters really want to keep disco alive (or bring it back to life— however you want to look at it), and for that, I applaud them. Who doesn’t enjoy a high-pitched male voice, sung over a funky 70s beat? Akin to a modern day Bee Gees, Scissor Sisters (formed in 2000) released their latest album, “Magic Hour,” on May 28. Singer Jake Shears pulls you into his nu-disco-based universe, with the help of producer Alex Sidha, also known by his artist moniker, Boys Noize. On opening track, “Baby Come Home,” Shears weeps for his love to— wait for it—come home. While the lyrics of the songs are traditional, the delivery and sound are anything but. “Keep Your Shoes On” feels like being stuck in a K-hole—but in the best way possible. The band does manage to slow things down at the right times, with funk-ballads aplenty that fit Shears’s voice like a glove. Single “Shady Love” (which features Azealia Banks: see above) is a definite highlight of the album, and contributes to it a whole other layer. The Calvin Harris-produced track, “Only the Horses,” is the closest to a “radio-friendly” single that Sisters have ever done, and manages to keep the band’s sound and integrity intact. “Magic Hour” is Scissor Sisters most polished and cohesive (while still experimental) album to date. Continued on Page 38
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Continued from Page 36
making a SCene Bieby Blues
I
t’s been a rough week for Justin Bieber. On May 27, the Canadian pop-star was accused of assaulting a photographer who was snapping pics of Bieber and girlfriend Selena Gomez as they exited a movie theater in Calabasas, California. The photographer claims that a scuffle took place, and he called 911, but Bieber and Gomez left the scene before police got there. The photographer was taken to a local hospital after complaining of chest pains, and he filed a police report. Days later, at his show in Paris on May 31, the singer accidentally ran into a wall of glass backstage, as reported by TMZ. He was between songs, and managed to suck it up, went back onstage, and performed the rest of his set. After the show, The Beebs passed out for about 15 seconds in his dressing room. Doctors confirmed he had suffered a concussion, but say he is in good shape now. Canadians never catch a break.
primadonna
L
eaked video footage of Madonna’s tour dress rehearsal in Tel Aviv has surfaced on the Web, and people are not happy. The controversial pop star is seen during a rehearsal for “Express Yourself,” when the song seamlessly transitions into Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” Madonna fans were in an uproar last year when released Gaga “Born This Way,” as they noted a striking resemblance to the prima diva’s “Express Yourself.” Madonna seems to still be feeling some pent-up aggression towards Mother Monster, and it looks like the PriMadonna is going to be taking it to the stage.
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Adam & Ease By ADAM STRONG
A
lthough J. Edgar Hoover—along with every Wise Guy from Mulberry Street to Rush Street—denied the existence of the Mafia, that’s no reason not to have a little fun with “this thing of ours,” as it’s called by “made” men (those who have earned full membership in a Family, or organized group, which is usually based upon a specific geographic area), and host a “Godfather”-themed, mob-style dinner party.
“This Thing of Ours.”
L
et your guests know that they’re invited to a dinner party that’s based upon a Hollywood take on some great films and television, and that they should feel free to both glam it up and ham it up, with cuff links, slicked hair, and their versions of—God help me—the best-of-the-worst accents on “Jersey Shore.” You will want to send a themed invitation, and I would suggest that—to get all your guests in on the act—you invite them to a “making ceremony,” in which they will be inducted as “made” guys (or “Wise Guys,” in the lingo of the trade) in your “Family.” Make an invitation that evokes images of the “Godfather” films, “Goodfellas,” or HBO’s groundbreaking “The Sopranos,” with something to the effect of, “Yooze Mooks are Corjully Invited to Attend a FAMILY Dinner at the residence of Don [Your Name, ended by a vowel, if it doesn’t already include one, or something comic-Italian, like “Baggadonuts”], on [date and other details of the event], at [address, and include relevant info on parking, etc. You should
also include suggestions about how you want your guests to come dressed.]. RSVP to my consiglieri, [Your Partner]. Ciao, Bello!” In essence, we’re really talking about two
“Organized” Syndicate: separate parties: An Italian dinner party, and a chance to have some fun with your “Goodfellas” (not to mention the “Made Broads”—women—you may want to invite). So that everybody gets into the act, try to rope some of your friends (“associates”) into helping pick movies, activities, and possibly menu planning (or at least bringing the Remy or Grappa). If you do have assistance, appoint these people to be your “Underboss” and “Captains” (Italian: capos), who can help you run things. Hey, you’re the Boss: Fahgeddaboudit! Decorate your place like an old school Italian “social club,” with images of famous mob hits (easily found on mob-themed Web sites), Chianti bottles, and Italian flags as ambience-builders.
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Y
“What’s the Action?”
our “associates” and “soldiers” (Italian: soldati) need to be brought into the flavor of this “Wise Guy Commission”/Dinner Party right out of the gate, to use an old race track term. As the Boss (or Don, or Godfather, the names are interchangeable, depending on the sensibilities of the individual mob leader, and how much influence Francis Ford Coppola had had on him—no joke: for many made guys, lifeimitates-art, and they take on Hollywood’s imagined trappings of the Wise Guy life), you should wear a gaudy looking ring, and have your Underboss let associates know as they enter that they are expected to “Kiss the Ring.” Sit in a cushioned chair a la Don Corleone, and pet a cat (even a toy one will work) a la Marlon Brando in the memorable opening scene of “The Godfather” (or “One,” as real-life made men call it; see note regarding “life-imitating-art,” above). The Underboss can also tell guests that they may call upon the Boss for a single “favor” (as the Godfather did for Nazorine the baker in “One”), which, depending upon your flight of fancy, can be
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a real gift of reasonable magnitude (“Enzo, my dear friend, of course you can sit on the love seat under the oil of Mamie van Doren in the living room.”) Or you can play it up for fictional camp (“You want me to have ‘Bobby Nine-and-a-Half’ whacked? Anything for you, Ray-Ray, my most valued capo.” Afterwards, when it’s time for your associates to depart, you can tell Bobby, “The boys and I agree, you gotta go. It’s time for your last ride.” Of course, no one actually gets killed. You did get that part, right?). This would also be the time for grateful associates, capos, and soldiers to bestow “tribute” unto the Don (you). (“Hey, Paulie, who was s’posed to bring the Grappa? ‘Ricky the Twink?’ Fahgeddaboudit!”)
“Friends of Ours:” Before the big “Commission meeting” and dinner, your Underboss should select some appropriately fun and mob-inspired movies for your guests—er, associates—to watch while they relax, and to keep the mob theme going throughout the evening. “The Godfather” (“One” and “Two”—“Three” if you’re hardcore), “Goodfellas,” “Donnie Brasco,” and my personal fave, “The Sopranos,” will set background mood, and serve as a backdrop to dinner. Since many Wise Guys are “degenerate gamblers,” to use the parlance of the “life,” a fun mini-casino would be a great way to invoke the “Goodfellas”-mindset. Cards games are time consuming, but craps and blackjack are short-and-sweet, and fast-paced.
“A Day at the Races”
W
e used to play a fun horse-race inspired game when I was a kid. Line up two checker or chess boards length wise, so that you have eight squares running along one side and 16 squares running along the other. Take eight (8) plastic horses (you can purchase these at most arts-and-crafts stores), and align them in the eight squares along the shorter side (this is the “Starting Gate”). Favored “Wise Guys” among your guests can be given six-sided dice—one apiece—and associates can place bets of Monopoly money on each horse. At the start of each race, have one person roll for each horse, and the number is that amount of spaces to advance for the particular horse. Roll for each “round” until one horse “reaches” the final, 16th square. Set up a Monopoly money “purse,” and give it to the winning Goodfella, along with some inexpensive gifts, like plastic water guns and gold-foilcovered, coin-shaped chocolates. For the “Winner’s Circle”—given to the Wise Guy with the winningesthorse at the end of the night—gift a bottle of Chianti or champagne as an extra grand prize.
“Where’s My Taste” Kick things off Italian-style with a classic cocktail, a Negroni (see insert box), dry Martinis (with just a splash of vermouth), served on ice, and lots of sweet Italian red wine, like Lambrusco. (Post-dinner, your “boys” will want Bruschetta to refresh themselves with a shot of chilled Limoncellos, or tasty grape-based Grappa.) For appetizers, Bruschetta is a perfect combo of sweet tomatoes, crisp, and fresh garlic, and a plate of prosciutto and Italian cheeses will also kick-start appetites. For the main event, choose
Negroni Cocktail Ingredients 1 oz. of Gin 1 oz. of Campari 1 oz. of Sweet Vermouth Combine all ingredients in an ice-filled shaker, and strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with an orange peel.
Prosciutto & Cheese a casserole entrée— something like baked ziti or lasagna, made with sweet ground sausage, as well as lean ground beef in the meat sauce, or “gravy.” For dessert, its cannolis (Sicilian pastries filled with sweet cream), spumoni (Italian ice cream), or Tiramisu (a cake-based dessert made from Ladyfingers, mascarpone cheese, liquor, and coffee—is your mouth watering yet?). Delicious? Fuhgeddaboudit!
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Diner by Day... Checkers by Night
Due to a fire, Checkers Old M端nchen in Pompano Beach has temporarily moved to Diner by the Sea in Lauderdale by the Sea. Enjoy the same quality German food and beer from Checkers Old M端nchen along with the same Diner classics. Checkers Old M端nchen will open 4:00PM daily at the location of Diner by the Sea
215 Commercial Boulevard Lauderdale by the Sea, FL 954-491-0642
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Breakfast or Lunch at Diner by the Sea! (Must present this ad)
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Guy Dining By RICHARD DAVID CHAMBERLAIN
GALANGA
THAI KITCHEN & SUSHI BAR
Discovering Your Soul through Your Tastebuds
G
alanga Thai Kitchen has been an established haven of gastronomic delights on Wilton Drive for years. And as a result, it’s hardly unusual to find the free valet parking lot full, and patrons, dressed date fancy, waiting to be seated. But on a recent raining Thursday night, we stopped by again when business was light, and discovered what Galanga Restaurant is really about. Without the din of loud clientele and clattering dishes, Galanga becomes an oasis of zen, a tranquil embrace whose touch is feather light, like lying inside a lotus blossom. The Sushi Bar is backed by an aquarium that sweeps full length across a wall. The splash of color—bright blue and yellow and brilliant red—on fish that glide more than swim in a rhythmic pattern of movement, dance to the sound of jazz that flows rather than pulses its way across the room. The food has always been wonderfully consistent, and while it never arrives at your table with the kind of speed you would like, it’s only because we are anxious to get to the taste treats that await. Our standard favorites include the always crisp, surprisingly delicate Thai Glazed Chicken Lettuce Wraps ($9.00), with ground chicken, ginger, basil, bell peppers, onions, chestnuts and a plum sauce; as well as the Crab Cake ($12.00), the real deal heaped with lump crabmeat, Thai spices, and served with a piquant aioli. Recent additions to the menu from the Sushi Bar include the Kobi Tuna Roll ($11.00), a combo of rare tuna wrapped with seaweed, then lightly dusted with tempura and quick fried, topped with tempura flakes, KOBI TUNA ROLL spicy mayo, wasabi cream and masago. Both visually tempting and the kind of roll that makes for dueling chopsticks at the plate, as even the best of friends fight for the last piece. The Healthy Lobster Wrap ($20.00) brings joy to the table in the form of steamed lobster, spring mix, and avocado, wrapped with a thin rice paper, but no rice. That’s
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where the “Healthy” comes in. If you’re in the mood for something with a kick, set your mouth on fire with the Cronic Roll ($14.00), an inside out roll, with tuna, masago, green onion, garlic, avocado, asparagus, tempura jalapeno, and aonori. Moving away from the sushi bar and back into the kitchen, the house specialty has always been the Unbelievable HEALTHY LOBSTER WRAP Seabass ($28.00), a perfectly grilled Chilean seabass, sauteed with mixed vegetables, and a drizzle of Thai chili sauce. Try it and become an instant convert. For duck lovers, the Delightful Duck ($23.00) is prepared in a crispy confit, with sauteed mixed vegetables, and a tamarind sauce. For the traditionalists among us, the various curry dishes available include Red Curry, with bamboo shoots, red peppers, green peppers and carrots; Green Curry, with green beans, snow peas, zucchini and green peppers; Panang Curry, red and green peppers, green beans and ground peanuts; or Masaman Curry, which adds potatoes, onions, tomatoes, and peanuts. The Curries are priced according to your entrée selection: Tofu ($14), Chicken, Beef, or Pork ($15), Squid ($16), Shrimp ($16), Mixed Seafood ($19), Scallops ($20)—and all are served with jasmine rice. This particular Thursday we asked our waiter Erik for Three Best Friends ($19.00), a flavorful blend of beef, shrimp and chicken, sautéed mixed vegetables, in a light peanut sauce. The portion is easily enough for two, plus some for the dog, who thought she had died and gone to heaven. Come to think of it, so had we.
GalanGa tHai KitCHen & SuSHi Bar 2389 Wilton drive Wilton manors, fl 33305 954-202-0000
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Guy Bytes By DUNCAN ST. THIBAULT
T
Qello: Your Backstage Pass to the Coolest Concerts on the Planet
here are so many things that make Qello— Watch HD Music Concerts one of the most delicious apps ever to hit the smartphone and tablet market. More than a means to watching streaming concerts from the comfort of your own lap, Qello serves up a library of music documentaries that would take you—and will take me—a lifetime to view.
to create your own dream show concert, by taking songs from different decades, genres, and bands. Imagine the Rolling Stones— playing “Satisfaction,” set to a prancing and yummy pre-1980s Mick Jagger—opening for the Beatles, as George Harrison picks out the opening chords to “I Want To Hold Your Hand.” Or Madonna’s “Express Yourself,” getting the live audience “into the groove” before Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” (You talk about the Lamb lying down with the Lion—or is that more like Beauty and the Beast?) Backstage Passage: Free, or get QELLO ALL-ACCESS, for $4.99 a month.
I Qello’s -user-friendly muy-user-friendly navigation system makes finding the perfect content— well, perfect. You can search by artist name, genre, and decade (beginning with the 1950s), or through typing by name what suits your fancy. Like the developer says, Qello brings the concert to you, wherever you are, whenever you want it. From watching a Jay-Z concert on your Android, to catching a Doors documentary on your iPad, or watching an indie band like The Shins on your iPhone, Qello delivers the ultimate music experience, in crystal-clear High Definition. Two versions of the app accommodate both mooches and connoisseurs, with the free version giving you access to one track from every show in the Qello vault, plus lots of cool content that’s well worth the price (did I mention free?). For a few bucks a month, you can buy unlimited access to the entire library collection, and are able to create your own Setlists. The “My Setlists” feature enables you
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Skype : Worth a Second Look for Your iPhone
’ll admit there was a time that I couldn’t get my arms around the whole Skypething. Although it enabled users to make calls for free to someone’s computer, you still needed to buy minutes if you wanted to do the thing that phones are meant to do— namely, call other phones. To my surprise and pleasure—hey, I’m easy to please—last year, Skype got a massive makeover (there must be a queen—or three—on the board of directors), that includes free Skype-to-Skype video calling. You can now use your iPhone to video conference with both users on their computers, as well as with Skype-enabled televisions, and other mobile operating systems (iOS). ALL Skype-to-Skype calls are now free, and the calls now work over via Wi-Fi connection, or through the phone’s 3G Internet connection. No matter where you, Skype will let you video conference, without having to locate a Wi-Fi connection. Now, if it would just teach your boyfriend how to make a proper bouillabaisse. Continued on Page 54
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Continued from Page 52
One Man. One Shotgun. Lots of Stupid Zombies
T
he
insane
real-life
headlines
this
about
cannibalistic
week
episodes in both Miami and elsewhere in the country—I will never watch a gay Canadian porn the same way again—prompted Proculus to bug me to write a review of Stupid Zombies, the game app developed by GameResort as a sort of “The Walking Dead”meets Angry Birds, utilizing a physics-manipulation system. All that stands between you and the Legions of Stupid Dead are five bullets, which you use to “kill” zombies through each of the hundreds of the game’s levels. The walking brain-dead can be shot off their perches
through manipulative aiming of the shotgun. Bullets ricochet and fly willi-nilli through the levels, blowing the Lamebrains to bits (and these zombies die in very “explosive” ways). You must also solve puzzles, like figuring out that you need to shoot a box from its place in order to splatter a zombie that lurks beneath, or a TNT barrel for a pyrotechnic sendoff for the decomposing dead. Another nice feature is that there’s no need to scroll around, because the app lets you see the entire layout of the game area. Like Angry Birds, this one is highly addicted. You’ve been warned. Deadline: Free.
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By DALE MADISON
The Many Layers of
George Castrataro
W
hen you sit across from George Castrataro, you can tell immediately that he is a man possessed of a well-defined vision. “When I started to practice law, I had a definite business plan,” recalls Castrataro, as we take our seats in the new downtown Fort Lauderdale location of the Law Offices of George Castrataro. “Here at our practice, we have a four-layer plan,” explains Castrataro, who graduated from Florida International University College of Law in 2005. First on the list of practice specialties is helping individuals who are at the end of their financial rope. “With the economy in shambles, we have orchestrated our plan this way: Bankruptcy protection for those in peril, and let’s face it, there are a lot of people in trouble out there,” Castrataro notes, with emphasis. The practice likewise helps those who are drowning in debt by their own hands. “Secondly, we focus on consumer issues. Many times, people get into trouble with home equity lines, credit cards, and other loans.” In these cases, the firm takes on the part of vigorous consumer advocate. “We are able to get between the lender and the borrower, and negotiate a better situation for both,” Castrataro explains. This benefits the firm’s clients through negotiated “reduced interest rates, and keeping the borrower from having to file for bankruptcy,” he adds. “Our third layer is unique home issues. So many people are ‘upside down’ in their home loans,” says Castrataro. “We work to help re-structure those loans, to help people save their homes. We also work with businesses that are struggling, working with their lenders to help them restructure.” With the Stonewall Generation already collecting Social Security, Castrataro notes that South Florida is Ground Zero for many of the nation’s aging gay
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population. “Our fourth area is estate planning. So many young people, and even more among older people, don’t realize how important it is to plan your estate, along with the civil rights that go along with that. It makes it very important to advise them how to structure insurance, property, and other aspects of their estates,” Castrataro explains, adding that “It is vital that they get advice from professionals.” The team at the Law Offices of George Castrataro currently has 400 cases they are working, including that of former Hollywood Police Officer and HGTV Design Star Mickey Vertigo, as well as civil rights issues for individuals connected with “Occupy Fort Lauderdale,” which the firm takes on a pro-bono basis. The firm also works closely with the Broward County Legal Aid Service, and the Broward Human Rights Initiative, which Castrataro was instrumental in founding. Before receiving his law degree, Castrataro worked in senior management positions for the Florida Department of Health, as well as in Washington, D.C. for the National American Red Cross. A native of New York, the well-known advocate for LGBT rights says that he is extremely happy to have found a home, and a calling, in South Florida. “One of the best moves that I ever made,” Castrataro notes. “Great people and great weather, what more could you ask for?”
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Named after our flagship NYC location, this customized 49-minute massage is for those who need to be in, 'aah' and out within an hour. You choose what you 'knead': a full shoulder-to-toe rubdown or targeted treatment of specific spots with knots (Talk about a happy hour).
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This maintenance facial (with a Bliss twist) is ideal for upkeep between our more targeted facials and can be further customized. This facial combines cleansing, exfoliation and extractions in order to achieve complexion 'pore'-fection.
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Our basic nail service is anything but basic—and a decided departure from the mundane ‘dish soap’ mani. We’ll swath and soak your hands in hot cream (for the consummate cuticle and skin softening), massage your hands til they’re like putty in ours and, of course, snip, sand, push, preen and polish to give you the perfect ten.
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Guy Travel By ROBERT ELIAS DEATON
W
e’re a sucker for Brazilian butts. And nowhere on earth are there more on display then in the incredible city of São Paulo. It’s not only the largest city in Brazil; it’s the largest city in all of South America, and the seventh-largest city by population in the world. It’s just another example of the fact that size matters. At last count, the population of São Paulo was just over 11 million— three million more than NYC. Ah, and the people. Attractive, friendly, open, and happy. And, lest we forget the most charming part, they speak Portuguese—but with an Italian accent, in case you’re relying on your Rosetta Stone. They’ll be rattling it off at such a machine-gun pace that there is no point in trying to keep up your end of the conversation. It’s all part of the adventure in this city named after Saint Paul—as in the Apostle, not Minnesota. Getting to São Paulo can be a bit of a head-trip since it’s an eight-hour flight from Miami (or ten hours from New York) non-stop as the crows fly via the national airline TAM Linhas Aereas. Translation: two full-length movies, a four-course dinner and a three-hour nap. It gives new meaning to the phrase: somos nós lá ainda? (“Are we there, yet?” for the Baptists among us.) Upon landing at the São Paulo/Guarulhos– Governador André Franco Montoro International Airport, take a deep breath and plunge head first into the excitement. You get to the city via taxi (there is a bus, but you’re gay, remember?). This will set you back exactly 85 Brazilian reals, or $42 in real money. Buy a pre-paid taxi voucher in advance, since the traffic will be monstrous. Though it’s only 19 miles to São Paulo, it could take as long as an hour to get there. You don’t want to be in the back seat when that meter is ticking. Our favorite hotel in São Paulo is the Mercure São Paulo Alamedes Hotel. It’s not the most luxurious
hotel in the city, but it is one of the most convenient and reasonably priced at $139 per night. It has everything you could possibly need—room service, a good gym, rooftop pool with a view, a fantastic cute staff, and wi-fi service. It is centrally located in the most fashionable part of town, called the Jardins district, which not only has the most exclusive shopping street in the country— it’s called Oscar Freire (think Rodeo Drive), it has the majority of the gay clubs as well as the São Paulo Museum of Art. On the club scene, spending Sunday at Dorothy Parker (Alameda Lorena, 2119 – Jardins) is must do. During the rest of the week, it’s a very very private club with a guest list. And no, you’re not on it. On Sunday, however, they open the doors to extremely cute gay guys who like dancing flesh to flesh beginning at 11 p.m. and hanging out until 2 a.m. or so. Not far away is the Ritz (Alameda Franca, 1088 – Jardins), a fun burger and pizza joint where you can people watch all night, and linger over a cappuccino. Afterward on Fridays and Saturdays, head across town to Flex Club (Ave. Marquês de São Vicente 1767 - Barra Funda)—an enormous hanger-like structure that holds 2,000+. While that may sound like a large number, wrap your head around 4 million! That’s the number of gays expected to attend the Parada do Orgulho Gay GLBT de São Paulo on June 10. Translation: Gay Pride, São Paulo style. Prepare to sweat—and grin ear-to-ear.
PARAdA dO ORgULHO gAY gLBT dE SãO PAULO
Robert Elias Deaton is a world-traveling epicure who enjoys the finer things in life.
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Love Jones
By JUSTIN JONES
Wicked Sticks
Anonymous
S
o there you are, sitting in front of your computer with your jeans around your ankles, your underwear at your thighs, one hand on a mouse pad, and the other on your 21st digit. The laptop’s bluish glow is the only source of light in your bedroom: it illuminates the soaking wet end of the t-shirt bunched up in your mouth (you had to keep it out of the way of your hand, after all). You don’t want anyone else in your apartment building to hear the animalistic sounds that emanate from the porn that’s playing on your computer (although you DO want to make sure that YOU hear every graphic detail), so you’re wearing headphones. And how ironic the whole scene is. The measures you’ve taken to hide your self-pleasure—right down to making sure the blinds in your bedroom are closed in just the right direction, so the neighbors can’t peer in—are the very measures that have given you away. You don’t know, for instance, that the glow cast by your monitor creates a vivid silhouette on your blinds for the benefit of the curious outside. Nor did you anticipate your headphones disguising the sounds of laughter right outside your window. No, as careful as you were, those details went unnoticed. Thankfully, you have a roommate who cares. After hearing laughter outside your building, he investigates. He finds the scene troubling—possibly even embarrassing—to you. After seeing the frenzied shadow-show projected onto your blinds, he nobly attempts to inform you that you’re being watched (and mocked). He tries knocking at your bedroom door—which, of course, you can’t hear. So he knocks louder. When you realize someone is at your door, you play it cool. You throw the bed comforter over your legs, and minimize the pornographic window on your computer screen. You have previously opened Facebook in another window tab, in case such an incident was to occur. “Come in,” you say politely, trying to breathe as slowly as possible. “Um, dude,” your roommate says, “people outside can see what you’re doing.” You feel the empathy in his voice and, though your heart drops, you unabashedly oppose admitting to anything. “See me doing what? Talking to people on Facebook?” you respond, still out of breath, and still visibly rather—impassioned. Your roommate shakes his head, and while you know there’s no way out of this, you stick to your guns—because, for some reason, this is somehow embarrassing. “Dude,” you say, “Look, I was on FACEBOOK.” And you turn your laptop around to show your roommate the “truth.” Yes, there is Facebook maximized on your screen, but then those pesky headphones get in the way—they unplug themselves just when you think you’ve proven your “innocence” to your roommate. With the headphones out, your computer routes the sound to its speakers, and the sounds coming from your computer aren’t from iTunes—they’re from XTube. Obnoxious, disgustingly sexual, and embarrassingly loud. Your eyes lock with your roommates’. Your erection has perished upon the altar of the Gods of Embarrassment. You feel the urge to jump up and run away, and you would—except you’d fall, because your pants are still around your ankles. So you laugh, and your roommate laughs with you.
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Justin Jones, 25, is a writer based in Minneapolis. In addition to his column lovejones, Justin pens Through These Eyes, a bi-weekly column for Lavender Magazine. He writes about things like being alive, being in love, and drinking too much. Facebook.com/JustinJonesWriter.
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Guy Fitness
By TOM BONANTI
Squats Reign Supreme
F
for Power and Strength
or anyone who is serious about weight training, you know that “leg day” is no walk in the park. Leg routines require, above all others, attention to proper form, serious concentration, and set after set of some of the most important and grueling exercises known to Muscledom. Lunges, dead lifts, and squats are essential for building tree trunk legs and glutes of steel. Yet squats more than any of the others are also great for abdominals—and most upper body muscle groups, as well. Some say that deep squats performed properly can actually boost testosterone production in most healthy males. All I can say is that squats better deliver results for all the pain and suffering they induce! In nearly every sport or fitness activity, your legs are your most important asset. That’s why squats are often called the “king” of all exercises. The squat involves glutes (butt), hamstrings (back of upper legs), calves, and most especially, the quadriceps (tops of the upper front legs). Like I mentioned previously, in addition to being the best exercise for lower body, squats also involve, at least indirectly, many upper body muscle groups as well, including deltoids, lats and traps, and especially abdominals. When you do squats, place a barbell on a squat rack, or set up the bar on the Smith machine. Doing squats on a Smith machine (at the outset at least) can be safer,
but the apparatus does somewhat restrict the range of motion of your squat. Whichever you prefer, use light weight when you begin. Duck under the bar, and position it across your shoulders on your trapezius, slightly above the rear deltoids. Grasp the bar using a grip width that is comfortable for your body, and pull your elbows to the rear. Inhale deeply, rotate your pelvis forward, keep your head up, look straight ahead, and carefully lift the bar off of the rack. Move back a step or two from the rack and set your feet shoulder width apart, keeping your toes pointed at an angle that’s slightly outward. Now, here is the most important caution regarding the squat. You must maintain a very erect body position when descending into the deep squat position. Leaning too far forward, or flexing the spine as you squat can be dangerous for your lower back. This error, which is very common even among seasoned athletes, is the major cause of lower back injuries. Once you have descended so your thighs are parallel to the floor, extend your legs and straighten your torso to return to the starting, upright position. There you have it, the perfect squat! A couple of other pointers can help you do squats safely and effectively. First, you should learn how to go down into the squat position so that you are low enough. The top of your thighs should be parallel to the floor in a well-executed squat. If you stop the squat any higher than that, you will lose some of the benefit to your butt and hamstrings. Secondly, learn to breathe properly by inhaling as you descend, and exhale as you come up. Thirdly, try to lower yourself slowly and carefully, and try to more explosively return to the upright position. If you want to build legs and butt, you simply have to do squats. I recommend that you do them twice a week. Always begin with a light set, with manageable weight. Try three sets of 10-to-12 reps after your initial warm-up set. For more tips on how to get legs of steel, contact trainertomb@aol.com.
Try these variations to keep your squats interesting:
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Tom Bonanti is a certified personal trainer and owner of Pump’n Inc Gym at 1271 NE 9th Ave, Fort Lauderdale. For more tips on how to get bigger beefier arms by summer, give me a shout at TrainerTomB@aol.com
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NYC ITALIAN Muscular, Hung & Healthy, 5’7”, 155lbs. Hot Top, Masculine, Friendly attitude for Erotic Body Rub. Hotel Calls Welcome, 24/7. Call Nick in SoBe (305) 674-8416 YOUNG MILITARY DUDE!! Strong Top! 28 y/o, 5’8, 170. Cuban/ Puerto Rican, Beautiful Face, Tan Skin, Brown Eyes, Awesome Body. Well Hung, straight-acting, NO Attitude, Very Discrete. Anything Goes! Alex (786) 319-7665 STRONG BLACK HANDS: Erotic Body Rubs, Body Hair Trimming, Pedicures, 7 days/ 10 AM-MID $80/In, $100/Out. Get intimately pampered by RICO 954-536-5138. www.strongblackhands.com SENSUAL MASSAGE from a good looking, muscular, hot body guy. Pleasing every aching muscle from head to toe at my Wilton Station Studio. Mike 954-328-2321
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body grooming
licensed massage
RECESSION RELIEf-$40/90 MINS! Out calls higher. Swedish, Deep Tissue, Specialty Back and Lower Body & Feet. Couples discounts, seniors welcome. Delray Beach, 16 yrs experience. MA 18563. Dennis (561) 502-2628.
medical CURRENTLY ENROLLING HIV TRIALS for people who have never used antiviral medication, people failing a regimen which currently contains an integrase inhibitor, and for people on stable antivirals. For more information please call Verne Appleby, R.N. at 954-524-2250 ext 211. Labs and study medications supplied at no cost to participants.
spirituality
cleaning services
CLEAN IT RITE RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL CLEANING Best cleaning for your buck. Reliable & affordable. Ten years in business. 1 BR, $45.00, 2 BR $55.00, & 3BR $65.00. Manny (954) 560-4443 Broward, Palm Beach & Dade
PROfESSIONAL CLEANING to take care of your home and office. Excellent rates and references. Serving the community for over 5 years. Call Gerardo @ (954)224-5769 or (954)441-5770
computer services
WHERE’S PCLAUDERDALE? ANYWHERE YOU WANT US TO BE! Computer support for the home or office. We deliver! South Florida’s Premier Tech Solutions Provider 954.636.3322 www.PCLauderdale.Com
COMPLETE COMPUTER REPAIR FREE ESTIMATES - No extra charge for In-home. FREE Computer tune-up with any service. Laptop screen and keyboard screen replacement. Viruses, Spyware, Data Recovery, Lockouts and more! SAME DAY SERVICE - LOWEST PRICE GUARANTEE Call Ernesto: 754-234-5598 **OPTIMA** COMPUTER REPAIR-COMPLETE IN HOME SERVICE Get the best performance, protection & value from your computer investment. *A+ Hardware & OS CERTIFIED. *Friendly, professional, RELIABLE service. Reasonable rates. (954) 817-3883
counseling / support
GLBTQ HELPLINE & SUICIDE AWARENESS PROGRAM Lonely? Not leaving the house much? And you just can’t get motivated? Concerned about the way a b uddy is acting? Depressed, at the end of your rope? Got something on your mind you can’t talk to friends or family about? Call the GLBTQ Helpline & Suicide Awareness Program. Simply to talk, learn, and become aware. (305) 646-3600. Free & Confidential. Tri-lingual counselors available 24/7
moving ELITE RELOCATION MOVING & STORAGE We’ve provided quality moves for over 30 years. It’s always a smooth move when you choose Elite Relocation. Contact us today: 954.975.8660 www.elitemoving.com
ALWAYS MOVING - Moving and Storage. Know What You’re Paying Before You Move. Flat Rates, Free Estimates, Family Owned. Free Wardrobes-Licensed and Insured 305-650-9080 www.alwaysmovingsofla.com RED BOX MOVING -- OWNER IN TRUCK ON EVERY MOVE. CALL NORBERT DIRECTLY. Affordable, Reliable, Careful. MV#567/INSURED. (954)305-9176 or (561)506-5540-www.redboxmoving.com
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CHURCH Of THE HOLY SPIRIT SONG welcomes you to come and worship with us every Sunday at 10am and every Wednesday night at 7pm. We meet at the Spirit Song Worship Center at 2040B North Dixie Highway, Suite 3 in Wilton Manors (Building B on Equality Park Campus, behind the Pride Center). God loves you just the way He made you. Come discover His purpose for you. For more info: 954-418-8372, info@cohss.com, www.cohss.org WE ARE HERE fOR YOU…DIVINE MERCY CHAPEL-The American New Catholic Church 2749 N.E. 10th Ave., Wilton Manors, FL, 33334 (954)567-1930 www.newdivinemercy.org Sunday Mass 10:30AM, Friday Holy Hour 7:00PM WIG WILD INSPIRATIONAL & GATHERINGS Calling all Queens, Bears, Twinks, Guppies, Trannies, Fairies, Spiritualists, Yoga Folks, LGBTQ’s, Poets, Dancers, Actors and all our Straight Allies. WIG the Gay Empowerment/Spiritual Revival awaits you every Wed. 8PM at The Manor Complex, $10 Donation Call 754-444-1944 Miami Herald, “The next generation’s spiritual Stonewall.”
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GUY MAGAZINE CAN CONNECT YOU WITH THE BEST LAWYERS IN SOUTH FLORIDA. 78
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Any Massage Therapy Mention this ad at time of booking. Valid through June May 11, Valid through 23,2012 2012
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employment
MALE COSMETOLOGIST OR EASTHETICIAN Florida licensed professional wanted for all male guesthouse. We do it all except hair services! Reception, exceptional client service, spa maintenance and sales aptitude a plus. Submit your resume to: Spa@thecabanasguesthouse.com or call 954-565-2307.
home improvement
DEREK’S 24 HR HANDYMAN SERVICE Introducing our new cabinet shop! For all your custom made cabinetry countertops laminates.YOU MUST SEE OUR WORK, just ask our clients. All electrical to code; ANY & ALL plumbing work, Drywall finish work / repair. Crown / baseboard pro-install, interior/ exterior painting, demo work, Pressure washing, Decor tile install,Complete home up-dates. For large jobs,4man crew available. WE CAN HANDLE IT ALL! Instant call back,direct service response. No job is ever too small. Excellent references. Derek (954) 825-5598
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CAN YOU SELL? Multimedia Platforms, LLC, publisher of South Florida’s premier LGBT media, is expanding and invites applications from qualified candidates for the position of:
ADVERTISING SALES REPRESENTATIVE
We are seeking highly articulate and self-motivated individuals with a competitive spirit to develop new accounts and service existing clients. The ideal candidates will have a background in sales, a professional demeanor and strong customer service skills. Knowledge of, or experience in, real estate, tourism, retail or automotive sales would be helpful. We offer top-notch classroom training programs, a positive working environment, an attractive compensation package and numerous opportunities for advancement in a rapidly-growing multimedia company. If you have the skills and experience required for this position as well as a winning attitude, you are invited to apply immediately via e-mail to MMPSalesJobs@Hotmail.com.
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real estate
accommodations
rent/lease N.E. fT. LAUDERDALE-WILTON MANOR AREA Large Efficiency, quiet complex, tile floors, newer a/c, and refrigerator, private patio, cable ready, pest control included, No Pets Please. $585 By appointment. (954) 592-3772 SPACIOUS STUDIO, COTTAGE fT.LAUD/WILTON MANORS AREA
Private complex/parking, separate entrance, Garden courtyard, Full kitchen/bath/walk in closet, AC/Heat, tile floors. Close to Bars/Beach/ shopping. $650 /month For info call between NOON-8PM (954) 5228147 WILTON MANORS 3 BED / 2 BATH POOL HOME JENADA ISLAND, GREAT LOCATION! Almost 1800 Sq. Ft., plus carport, tile, new carpet in bedrooms, new paint, fenced private pool area, washer/dryer, pets OK, Only $2200. Call Robert Geary MacKilligan 954-234-8759 or rgmsell@ aol.com EffICIENCY, 15 NE 16 TH ST.- Walking Distance to Drive, Includes Electric $580.00 Avail Now, Call Nick 954-805-1195
rent/lease furnished PERfECT RELOCATION RENTALS 3-6 MONTHS. From $325/ week & $1300/month. Beautiful Studio, 1 & 2 BR Apts. Turn-key, fully furnished & equipped, clothing optional pool, laundry, parking. Close to Gay & Nude Beaches. Pets Welcome. Incl. utilities, cable, tel., Wi-Fi Internet. (954) 927-0090 or visit www.LibertySuites.com
WILTON MANORS- large 1 BD Apt. located on quiet cul-de-sac one block from Shoppes of Wilton Manors. CAC, ceiling fans, tile floors, fireplace, lots of storage. 12 ft. sliding glass doors lead to screened pool and patio. W/D on premises. Rent, which includes electric, water & propane is $975/mo. Sorry no pets. (954) 563-4442 2 BED, 1 BATH APT. All Tile, Crown MLDG, Laundry, very clean avail Now. $ 850. 731 nw 1st Ave. Gay Complex (954) 805-1195 1/1 CLOSE TO ALL MAjOR EXPYS. Airport & Downtown. Private Deck, 1st last & security. $695 James 305-213-3473 WILTON MANORS - WALK TO THE DRIVE! Small 1/1 Tile throughout, Ceiling Fans, 2 AC Units, laundry Avail. $640 per mo. $300 Sec Dep 954.537.7513
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Wilton Manors – East Fort Lauderdale RENTALS, SALES|
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