Guy Magazine Issue 264 by Multi-Media Platforms

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December 10, 2014 #264

PHOTOS START ON PG 28

THE WEEK PG 47

TRAVEL PG 44

Bobby Blair Founder, Multimedia Platforms Richard Hack Publisher / Editor-in-Chief 954-380-8563 x3103

Kevin Hopper Associate Publisher Daniel Hicks Managing Editor 954-380-8563

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THE FRIVOLIST

MIKEY ROX

HO, HO, HOMO

9 Affordable Ways to Make the Yuletide Gayer

All that money you’ve saved for the better part of a year so you can celebrate the holidays in style moves quickly when you’re buying gifts left and right and planning your warm-weather escape as soon as the tree is tossed out onto the curbed. Since you’ve already got a sizable chunk of cash allocated, it’s not a bad idea to find ways to save some coin this season while still fitting in a ton of festive fun. Take a look at these nine ways you can make the yuletide gayer without breaking the bank.

HOST A HOLIDAY POTLUCK DINNER

Who doesn’t like to go out for a fancy dinner around the holidays to indulge in life’s tasty pleasures? I do, but I can’t always afford a $100-or-more restaurant or bar tab when Christmas is just around the corner. (It would be quite selfish to cheapen the gifts I planned to buy my friends and family because I wanted eat like a Trump.) As an alternative, consider hosting a potluck where each of your guests will bring a dish for everyone to enjoy. You can make this a sit-down dinner or you can keep it informal by using the potluck idea to host a small cocktail party where everyone can chat, drink, and dig into the expansive buffet.

ATTEND AN UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY IN TOWN

Ugly Christmas sweater parties have become somewhat of a tradition over the past few years, and I can almost guarantee that there’s one in your area. Check your local LGBT bar calendars online to see if any are on the schedule this season. If you come up short in that area, widen your search to include other establishments. If you settle on a place that isn’t particularly gay, gather your gaggle for a guerrilla effort to make a night to remember. Find the ugliest Christmas sweaters imaginable at your local thrift shops or at UglyChristmasSweater.com.

SCHEDULE AN ATHOME HOLIDAY MOVIE MARATHON

When the weather outside is frightful, a night on the couch is so delightful. Pick up a few snacks and drinks, and invite your besties over for a holiday movie marathon. Some of my favorites include classics like National Lampoon’s

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Christmas Vacation; the Home Alone series; A Christmas Story; and Make the Yuletide Gay, the adorable coming-out-at-Christmas story by gay filmmaker Rob Williams. You may be able to find these movies – or whichever flicks suit your fancy – on streaming services to which you subscribe, or you can find them on the regular TV schedule and record them on your DVR in advance of the movie marathon.

START A SECRET SANTA PROGRAM AMONG YOUR FRIENDS

If you’re strapped for cash this year, quell some of the anxiety by suggesting a Secret Santa gift exchange among your friends instead of a freefor-all that can quickly spiral your budget out of control. If you currently only exchange a gift or two with a couple friends, this might not be for you, but if you have a large group of comrades, it’s an easy-on-the-wallet avenue to explore.

PLAN A GAY-THEMED WHITE ELEPHANT PARTY

There are different names for this type of party – aside from White Elephant, it’s also referred to as a “Yankee Swap” in various regions – but the concept is the same… and simple. Each participant brings one wrapped gift to the gathering – the price of which is usually capped at reasonable price, like $20 or so – and the group decides in which order participants will select from the pile of gifts, generally by numbers randomly drawn from a hat. Once a gift is opened, it can be stolen by the next in line if they don’t particularly like their gift or, in most cases, just like any of the previous gifts better. This practice continues until the last person has opened the last gift, which ultimately gives that lucky duck the pick of the litter. Lots of fun and laughter at this inexpensive, home-based holiday event. theguymag

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One movie that could be included in a holiday movie marathon: The Man Who Came to Dinner with Bette Davis, Ann Sheridan, Monty Woolley (Courtesy of doctormacro.com)

8 BAKED HOLIDAY GOODIES FOR YOUR NEIGHBORS AND CO-WORKERS

Get into the spirit of the season by dusting off those cookie sheets, muffin tins and loaf pans. Turn up the holiday tunes and get cookin’ with a few batches of your signature baked goods (I’m rather partial to Carolyn’s Chocolate Chip Cookies from Martha Stewart), package them in holiday-themed containers with nicely tied ribbons or bows, and deliver them with a note of holiday greetings.

ROUND UP YOUR GROUP OF FRIENDS AND VOLUNTEER

Not everyone is as fortunate as we are, and those circumstances really start to take their toll on people around holiday time. That’s why it’s important to give some of your time and energy to show you care about your fellow Americans by volunteering. You could try to locate an LGBT establishment that needs a few helping hands this season, and there are plenty of other options in your community. The important part is that you and your friends are getting out there and giving back.

SEE A SPECIAL HOLIDAY PERFORMANCE AT YOUR LOCAL GAY BAR

Hundred to one there’ll be a jolly drag show taking place at your favorite gay hangout between now and New Year’s. But if that’s not on the calendar, see what else is happening that’ll help you jingle all the way. Maybe it’s an ugly Christmas sweater party like I mentioned before, but there also may be toy drives; holiday-themed go-go boy nights; or game-based events, like trivia or bingo.

SNAP UP POST-HOLIDAY CLEARANCE DEALS FOR NEXT YEAR

One of my all-time favorite parts of the holidays is the post-Christmas clearance deals on décor and other holiday paraphernalia. I generally wait until about five days after Christmas when Target has slashed prices from the starting discount of 50 to 75 percent, but it tends to be heavily picked through by that point. Nonetheless, you can still walk away with a bunch of incredible deals. Wait a little longer and the discounts delve into the 90 percent-off range at certain stores, and that’s just a no-brainer. The shelves will look like the apocalypse has started, but you’re literally paying a few cents for whatever’s left to enhance your holiday home in the future.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and blogger whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the share with guymag.net theguymag theguymag world. He lives in Manhattan with us his on husband and their cuddle-buddy furbaby. Connect with Mikeyguymagtube on Twitter @mikeyrox.23

DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD

SNL’s Kate McKinnon Is Coming to a Theater Near You by

Romeo San Vicente

SNL’S KATE MCKINNON IS COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

We were wondering when the Kate McKinnon bullet train would leave the station and speed toward the big screen. It was inevitable after Saturday Night Live’s first lesbian cast member became our new favorite human being – her Ellen DeGeneres impersonation is the best and we can’t re-watch Dyke & Fats enough times. So here come the movie roles. Big movies, too. First up is the heist comedy Masterminds with this cast: Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Owen Wilson, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Marino, and SNL’s latest breakout wild-woman Leslie Jones. Then comes The Nest, a house party movie in which it appears that adult women will be replacing that genre’s misbehaving teenagers. It stars Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, John Leguizamo, Maya Rudolph, Heather Matarazzo (!), John Cena, James Brolin and SNL’s Bobby Moynihan. From this we can learn that SNL keeps it in the family. And why shouldn’t they? Great ensembles, more McKinnon; we’re happy. ELLEN PAGE: REAL AND ROBO

Since coming out, you could be forgiven for thinking that Ellen Page was just hanging out, but we’ve got two new projects to look forward to from the Inception star. She’ll be lending her voice to the animated feature Robodog, which is, naturally, about two dog friends, one real and one robotic (think mismatched buddy cops). It’ll also feature the voices of Ron Perlman, Steve Zahn and Rainn Wilson. And if you don’t have a child in your life who’ll care about the outcome of that one, Page is also attached to play John Belushi’s

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Kate McKinnon (photo by Debby Wong)

wife, Judith Jacklin, in the upcoming, untitled Belushi biopic. Emile Hirsch is attached as the late comic actor, with Miles Teller (Whiplash) in talks to play Dan Aykroyd. Aykroyd is exec producing this and will follow his old friend’s rise to fame in the ’70s, up to his untimely death at 33 from a drug overdose. And we’re still waiting for Freeheld, the true story in which Page stars as the partner of a terminally ill detective (Julianne Moore) whose spousal benefits are being denied the couple. Postproduction delays are a drag. TRAINWRECK: HOW MUCH EZRA MILLER WILL WE GET? We like Ezra Miller. We like him a lot. He’s talented. He’s queer. He’s going to be The Flash in The Flash (the movie, not the goofy TV show). And we hear he’s going to be in next summer’s new Judd Apatow film, Trainwreck, too, written by one of our other favorites, comic Amy Schumer. First we applaud this as another opportunity to see the young actor shine like he did in Perks of Being a Wallflower. And then we saw the rest of the cast list. Deep breath: Amy Schumer, Tilda Swinton, Bill

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Hader, Brie Larson, Colin Quinn, Barkhad Abdi, Mike Birbiglia, Vanessa Bayer, John Cena, LeBron James, Method Man, Daniel Radcliffe and Marisa Tomei. And that’s not even the whole list. Maybe this is going to be another epic-length Apatown comedies that stretch out toward the 150-minute mark. Or maybe everyone has a cameo. All we really know is that it’s based somewhat on Schumer’s own life and, well, whatever, we’ll take what we can get. And besides, Miller aside, any film with LeBron and Swinton together is already a curiosity-stoking must-see. Next July, y’all. SIR JOHN GIELGUD, PORNOGRAPHER

Classically trained Shakespearean actor John Gielgud won an Academy Award for his role as the sarcastic butler in Arthur. He was also knighted. This is a legacy of accomplishment and distinction. He also wrote a gay porn script called Trouser Bar. The guy who was Hamlet and in Gandhi wrote TROUSER BAR. Set in a menswear shop – where else? – the esteemed actor penned it for his friend, legendary porn director Peter De Rome, who worked throughout the 1960s and ’70s as one of the genre’s pioneers. Well, De Rome died earlier this year, and now prolific contemporary porn auteur Kristen Bjorn plans to make Gielgud’s script a reality. We don’t know when, or starring whom – _dear awesome art-porn person, Colby Keller, get on this one, stat!_ – but trust that we’ll keep you posted on its every detail as they develop. Say it again, out loud: Trouser Bar. Romeo San Vicente Presents. Always. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com. guymagtube

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HEAR ME OUT

Idina Menzel, Nick Jonas by

Chris AzzopArdi

IDINA MENZEL, HOLIDAY WISHES o Idina Menzel is the luckiest person to have ever been called Adele Dazeem. The awkwardness of having her name butchered by John Travolta during this year’s Oscars telecast gifted the Broadway icon with newfound clout, boosting her out of the gay niche and into mainstream notoriety. Now, Elsa the Snow Queen rides the snowy wave of her wintertime success and releases a Christmas album (because there’s nothing else you should be doing after your inner drag queen surfaces and all your repressed powers turn everything to ice). If you’re expecting some kind of Christmas version of “Let It Go” from the Frozen superstar, well, let it go. Holiday Wishes is focused on simple, classic Christmas nostalgia: for instance, “Do You Hear What I Hear?,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and “Silent Night” (not exactly the silentest of nights as Menzel can’t help but belt). Producer Walter Afanasieff, who made magic with Mariah Carey in the early ‘90s, and also co-wrote “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” heads Menzel’s project, which includes a jazzy and not-quite-as-magical version of Carey’s staple (with Kenny G on sax). And because Idina knows you want her to sing something Disney, she doesn’t let you down. Her lovely rendition of “When You Wish Upon a Star” is designed as a big ol’ fashioned mega ballad that makes everything shine a little brighter. Grade: BNICK JONAS, NICK JONAS It’s basically impossible to stay hydrated amid all the crotch-grabbing, butt-exposing sexiness Nick Jonas has so generously donated to the thirsty people of the world. Giving

Also Out

you yet another reason to suck down some H2O is the former Jonas Brother’s self-titled solo album, the sonic component to the neverending parade of partial nudity (but really, how many times do you think he cups his junk to reach falsetto?). Nick toys with his sexed-up image on “Teacher,” an R&B-tinged, lovegone-sour song where he sounds like he’s ready to get the ruler out and give you a nice spankin’. “Take it off for me,” he urges on the funky soul number “Take Over,” referring to your “disguise” (i.e. clothes). With “Numb,” he instigates a bump-and-grind; “Avalanche,” with Demi Lovato, shows he’s got soul – and not just vocally. There’s a beating heart beyond that flirty façade. Then it’s back to the bedroom for the Mike Posnerassisted slow jam “Closer.” “Open up and let me in,” he demands, making dreams come true. So yeah, if you think you’re getting Justin Timberlake vibes, you are. If you’re ashamed to get aural pleasure from a Jonas Brother, you shouldn’t be. Like his clothes, Nick’s shed the Disney act for this rite-of-passage project, indicative of his journey into maturity, into desire, into a girl’s pants. The purity ring is off; he’s literally and figuratively more naked than ever before. Dig in. Grade: B+

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DAMIEN RICE, MY FAVOURITE FADED FANTASY Following an eight-year absence, Ireland’s Damien Rice returns with all new reasons for you to weep rivers of sadness. Maintaining the reflective folk style of his O debut and 2006’s 9, the Irish troubadour’s trademark sound – and all the feels of heartbreak and wistfulness – reemerges on his third release, overseen by producer Rick Rubin. In terms of cohesiveness, Fantasy is Rice’s best. But, particularly with “I Don’t Want to Change You” and “Trusty and True,” the album’s greatest triumph is its emotional payoff. Grab a pillow and let it out. TRISHA YEARWOOD, PRIZEFIGHTER: HIT AFTER HIT For over two decades, Trisha Yearwood’s been more than just another pretty voice. Beyond those powerhouse lungs are something equally as noteworthy: Songs to compliment them. A culmination of her most popular tunes, along with six new ones, Hit After Hit demonstrates that fact time after time. From 2005’s standout single “Georgia Rain,” to recent recordings like faith parable “Met Him in the Motel Room” and her spirited collaboration with Kelly Clarkson, “PrizeFighter,” Yearwood proves once again she’s still one of the best in the business.

Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com.

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Gay Day, Leather Day and Remembrance Day

TOP HATS

ART BASEL? HE’S WEARING IT

We salute the men of leather who came to the Leather Masked Ball from everywhere

SPINNERS OF THE DANCE

Ramrod co-owner Zack with DJ Herbie James set the mood for Ramrod’s ManDance

Body painting went to a new level at Gay Days in Fort Lauderdale

LEADERS OF THE MARCH

Wilton Manors Mayor Gary Resnick and Pride Center’s Robert Boo at World AIDS Day Vigil

FUN IN NUMBERS

Party lovers came from all over the country to attend Aerotica, Gay Days Fort Lauderdale’s Dance for charity at the Armory

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Photos by Big Dewitte and Tony Fowler

AEROTICA: WHERE THE BOYS ARE

Fort Lauderdale hosts Gay Days Dance at the Armory, a beneﬁt for SunServe, AIDS Healthcare, and Impulse SoFL, with a good supply of hotties in silver metallic short shorts

FREE MONTHLY EVENT

Jeff, John and Ed at the World AIDS Museum’s Friday Night Mixer

REVIVAL MEETING

VIPs from all clubs and businesses at Hunters Nightclub’s ‘Revival,’ a beneﬁt for Poverello Food Bank

A TIME TO PAUSE AND REMEMBER

Residents of South Florida came out to march and hold a vigil at Hagen Park in Wilton Manors on World AIDS Day share with us on guymag.net

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Gay Days Dance at the Armory

Photos by Big Dewitte

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FAMILY FRIENDLY GIFTS

LEATHERWERKS ALSO CARRIES GIFTS YOU CAN OPEN IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE FAMILY

SANTA’S ADVENTURE CONTINUES AND THE ELVES ARE WORKING HARD FOLLOW THE STORY ON FACEBOOK

NAKED SHOPPING

SHOP IN THE BUFF FROM 5P-8P FOR 10% OFF YOUR PURCHASE Copyright © 2014 The Werks Company, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Werks, LeatherWerks, PaddleWerks, Lifestyle Club, BootWerks and “Where Leather is a Lifestyle” are Registered Trademarks of The Werks Company, LLC share with us on guymag.net theguymag theguymag guymagtube 31

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Leather Masked Ball at Bill’s Filling Station Photos by Big Dewitte

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Pillage and Plunder at The Manor

Photos by Tony Fowler

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Holiday Lights Gay Tea Cruise

Photos by Big Dewitte

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BAR MAP 40

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12) LE PATIO 2401 NE 11th Ave Wilton Manors

13) LIPS 1421 E Oakland Park Blvd Oakland Park

14) THE MANOR 2345 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

15) MONA’S 502 E Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale

8) HUNTERS NIGHTCLUIB 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

9) INFINITY LOUNGE 2184 WIlton Drive Wilton Manors

10) JMARK’S 1245 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale

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3) BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale

4) CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave Wilton Manors

5) CUBBY HOLE 823 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale

2) BILL’S FILLING STATION 2209 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

7) GREGARIOUS 2033 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

11) JOHNNY’S 1116 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale

6) DAPUR 1620 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale

1) ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

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19) PJ’S CORNER POCKET 2340 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

18) NEW YORK GRILLED CHEESE 2207 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

17) NAKED GRAPE 2163 Wilton Drive Wilton manors

16) MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale

26) SIDELINES 2031 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors 27) SMARTY PANTS 2400 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale 23) RUMORS BAR & GRILL 2426 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

25) SCARFONE’S 2150 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

24) SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors

22) ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2449 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

21) RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave Fort Lauderdale

20) PROGRESS 2440 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

31) VILLAGE PUB 2283 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

30) TROPICS 2000 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

29) 13 I EVEN 2037 Wilton Dr Wilton Manors

28) THE STABLE 205 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale

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BARTENDER OF THE WEEK

William Patrick

A Northside Chicago Boy Comes to South Florida by

Cliff Dunn

o It wouldn’t be fair to say that William Patrick had no idea what he was in for when he moved from Chicago to help open Progress South Florida as its lead bartender. Still, his first sight of the place— I’m talking his VERY FIRST SIGHT EVER of South Florida—was from the airplane when he landed in Fort Lauderdale on July 8. “I moved here blindly,” Patrick admits with a laugh. “I really enjoy a new challenge, so I was excited about coming to South Florida. I love the tropics.” William Patrick, 26, was born in the north suburbs of Chicago, famous for such residents as basketball legend Michael Jordan, Smashing Pumpkins front man Billy Corrigan, and mobster Al Capone (he of St. Valentine’s Day Massacre fame). A bartender since his early 20s, Patrick’s first gig was working at a straight sports bar in Highwood, Illinois, which earned its place in the Guinness Book of World Records following World War II for having the most bars per capita in the world. “It also featured in the Haymarket Riot,” Patrick adds. “The Haymarket Riot,” I ask? “As in the 1886 Haymarket Riot?” This isn’t your usual bar conversation. (Well, gay-bar conversation, anyway.) In addition to an unparalleled depth of knowledge about 19th Century Chicago, Patrick studied art history, and sees that field as his possible post-bartending, “grownup” future. “I worked in some really amazing art galleries when I was younger, and would like to see what happens when it’s time to pick that up again,” he muses. In the meantime, he’s doing now what he really wants to be doing. “My plans for the future are happening naturally. It’s an organic

process. Bartending was a childhood fantasy for me,” he admits. “So I am fulfilling something that I’ve always wanted to do.” Patrick previously worked at the company’s flagship bar, Progress Chicago, moving with select members of management to oversee the build of the new club. “It’s a lot of fun,” Patrick says about his job, which began with the opening of Progress South Florida in September. He isn’t just referring to the beach, although there is that. “There’s a gay beach in Chicago,” Patrick acknowledges. “And it’s awesome, but it’s not really as nice or as beautiful as the ocean beaches here. The Chicago River has nothing on the Intracoastal or Atlantic Ocean,” he adds. Another body of water which he enjoys is Biscayne Bay, upon which he recently enjoyed a midnight cruise. So he likes the water?

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“Definitely,” he replies. I venture to ask him his favorite color. “Blue,” Patrick answers. On a roll, I inquire as to his favorite animal. “Otter,” he says without hesitation (although he insists that he isn’t one in the Bear/Cub sense). “I helped to create most of the specialty drinks we serve at Progress,” Patrick acknowledges. In his professional opinion, what would he recommend as a “cocktail to impress?” “When I started bartending, I went through a long ‘whiskey’ phase. I think there is something very classic about the Old Fashioned (a whiskey cocktail made by muddling sugar with bitters, a garnished with twist of citrus rind). “It has subtle ‘notes’ of other tastes that make it both sweet and flavorful,” he adds. That sounds like smart, modern mixology advice from an oldfashioned-bartending kind of boy. Keep ’em coming.

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TRAVEL

Stocking Stuffers for Travelers BY RICK KARLIN

It isn’t hard to come up with a gift for the traveler. The real problem comes in trying to decide just which of the numerous options out there are best for your recipient. Here are my favorites for this holiday, just in case I’m on your list. If I’m not, I’m certain your other traveling friends would appreciate them too.

The Moto 360 is so advanced it’s almost science fiction. Motorola’s “watch” can sync with an android phone and its swipemotion interface can handle Moto 360 everything from watch virtual boarding passes to offering turn-by-turn directions, just like a Smartphone. $250; www.motorola.com. They’ll always know Airport how to get Code T home if you buy them Pilot & Captain’s Airport Code Tshirts. The poly-blend tees have a lived-in softness and are printed with the codes for most airports. $32 at www.pilotandcaptain.com.

Bose QuietComfort 25 headphones lets them listen to their music or audio for a movie without having to hear the crying baby in the next aisle. The fold-up frame is available in custom colors with a matching carrying case. $300 at www.bose.com. For less than a third of the cost of the Bose, you can get Monoprice enhanced noise-canceling earphones. A single AAA battery powers it for 50 hours and while the sound quality may not be quite Bose-level, it’s the best in this price range and equally good at blocking out ambient noise. $79 at www. monoprice.com. With so much Luggage Tag luggage looking alike, a colorful luggage tag helps identify bags at the carousel. The “We all have our baggage” luggage tag comes in bright colors and is sure to bring a smile, even after the bumpiest flight. $8.99 at www. annetaintor.com. The Eyn iPhone case doubles as a mini-wallet. Compact enough to fit easily into a pocket, but with enough room to hold credit cards, cash and a room key. It also comes with a mirror and a stand, in case they want to use fix their lipstick or use their phone to watch movies. $29.99 at www.eynproducts.com. We’ve all seen those folks using those bulky

Ostrich Pillow

neck pillows and they never look comfortable. The Ostrich Pillow is unlike traditional travel pillows. It can be worn as an adjustable neck support using an elastic drawstring or it can be as an oversized sleep-mask, creating a peaceful microenvironment just for Shavetech you. Filled with silicon Razor covered micro-beads that enhance sound reduction while remaining super lightweight and covered in soft plushy fabric, it collapses to take up little more room than a pair of socks. $39.95 at Brookstone stores or www.brookstone.com. Wallet Titan is a sleek rechargeable power card that can keep all their electronics juiced on the go. It features a folding USB and works with mobile phones, mp3 players, and digital cameras, as well as some tablets. Not much bigger than a credit card, it’s easy to carry and even easier to use. $35 at www. uncommongoods.com. It always seems that whatever cord or charger you want, it’s fallen to the bottom of your share with us on guymag.net

briefcase. Give your traveler the Grid-It Gadget Organizer which keeps phones, digital cameras, recorders, iPods, and their chargers all in one place. A system of woven rubberized bands holds things in the compact case. $22 at www.flight001.com. Packing an electric razor is always a hassle; they’re bulky and you run the risk of damaging the shaving head. The Shavetech Razor is about the size of an iPhone, gives a great shave and a snug cover keeps the head well protected. As a bonus it can charge via a USB port. $39.99 at www. shavetech.com. On long flights, there’s nothing better to occupy your time than a good movie. Well, a mile-high club adventure may be better, but you can’t fit that in a stocking. The Lenovo Yoga 10 HD+ fits even the smallest of tray tables. A retractable stand keeps the display at a slight incline and with a battery life upward of 18 hours it can handle a few movies, making it perfect for even the longest flights. $249 at www.lenovo.com. theguymag

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THE WEEK

Kenny G, Usher & Cirque du Soleil

Cirque du Soleil’s Amaluna 12/10 At the Sun Life Stadium (courtesy of Cirque du Soleil) BY

PATRICK ROBERT

_________________ _________________ Thursday

12/11

Friday

12/12

Kenny G

Dave Coulier

o Kenny G is a grand cultural icon, even if he has been made the butt of many jokes throughout his decades-long career. His fourth album Duotones launched his astonishing career. He has become one of the best-selling artists of all time—his global sales total more than 75 million records. The best thing about Kenny G is that he has a sense of humor, as was evidenced by his appearance in Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” video and his appearance in a mocking Snickers television commercial. He’s touring to promote a new forthcoming album Brazilian Nights. 8:00 p.m. Parker Playhouse. 707 NE Eighth St. Fort Lauderdale. 33304.

o Cut it out, man, because the king of that catchphrase is coming to South Florida for a night of impressions, jokes, and nostalgic reminisces of simpler times. Known for his uber-popular stint on Full House back in the early 1990s, Dave Coulier has since made numerous appearances on shows like The Surreal Life and Skating with Celebrities. He also had a tumultuous relationship with then unknown singer Alanis Morissette (with rumors of “You Outta Know” being about him). Unlike Bob Saget, though, Dave Coulier relies on cleaner jokes, having once even been a part of a comedy troupe entitled The Clean Guys of Comedy. Cartoons are his specialty; so get ready for some Bullwinkle impressions. With any luck the jackalope may make an appearance. 8:00 p.m. Fort Lauderdale Improv. 5700 Seminole Way. Hollywood. 33314.

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THE WEEK Trans-Siberian Orchestra o The Trans-Siberian Orchestra has made a name for themselves by crafting orchestral versions of Christmas carols in a theatrical rock-opera style. The 60-piece group combines elements of both classical orchestra and a hard-rock band. Traditional Christmas music adapted contemporarily will be complemented by a host of original compositions. The New York City-based orchestra has been releasing albums since 1996, including Christmas Eve & Other Stories, The Christmas Attic, and Beethoven’s Last Night. Here, they’ll play the entirety of their rock opera The Christmas Attic. 4:00 p.m. BB&T Center. 2555 NW 136th Ave. Sunrise. 33323.

_________________ Saturday

12/13

Tony Moran o Tony Moran is heralded as one of the best DJs and remix producers in the business. As a remix producer he has worked with Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Madonna, and Neyo. In 2007, he had two number one Billboard Hot Dance Club Play hits: “Walk Away” and “Keep Your Body Working.” He has been nominated for a Grammy twice. He has performed often at gay South Florida venues. Tonight Manor will be celebrating the beloved DJs birthday. 11:00 p.m. Manor. 2345 Wilton Drive. Wilton Manors. 33305.

Usher o Usher’s 2004 album Confessions was one of the best-selling albums of the naughties. Hit singles from that album include “Yeah!,” “Burn,” “Confessions Part II,” and “My Boo.” He is actually considered one of the best-selling artists in American music history, having sold over 23 million copies in the United States and 65 million records worldwide. When not creating popular music, Usher serves as a mentor to Justin Bieber and a coach on The Voice. The vegan has had a tumultuous amount of affairs, as evidenced by the personal lyrics in many of his albums. Tonight, he sings songs from his repertoire along with new music from his forthcoming album. 7:30 p.m. American Airlines Arena. 601 Biscayne Blvd. Miami. 33132.

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THE WEEK

_________________ _________________ Sunday

12/14

Tuesday

12/16

Josh Wolf

Black Keys

o Best known for his appearances on the round table of late night talk show Chelsea Lately, Josh Wolf is a trifecta: stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. He has written for sitcoms like All of Us and Cuts. His career was jumpstarted when he appeared on the fourth season of Last Comic Standing. One of his most popular gigs has been on Discovery Channel hosting a live show about sharks titled Shark After Dark. He also hosts a weekly podcast with fellow Chelsea Lately regular Ross Mathews called Josh and Ross. Tonight he will be performing a live set at the Palm Beach Improv. 8:00 p.m. Palm Beach Improv. 550 S. Rosemary Ave. West Palm Beach. 33401.

o The indie duo of Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney have steadily risen in popularity thanks, in large part, to a rise in popularity of garage rock music. Their career rose significantly in 2004 with their critically acclaimed third album Rubber Factory. This led to better record deal and subsequent commercial breakthrough in 2010 when the album Brothers and its accompanying popular single “Tighten Up” won three Grammy Awards. Follow-up album El Camino peaked at number two on the Billboard 200 chart, leading to the concert tour El Camino Tour. Earlier this year Turn Blue became their first number-one record. 8:00 p.m. BB&T Center. 2555 NW 136th Ave. Sunrise. 33323.

_________________ Monday

12/15

Cirque du Soleil’s Amaluna o In Cirque du Soleil’s touring production Amaluna, a mysterious island is governed by goddesses and guided by the cycles of the moon. Their queen, Prospera, directs her daughter’s comingof-age ceremony in a rite that honors femininity, renewal, rebirth, and balance. During a fierce storm, a group of young men land on the island, causing an epic and emotional love affair between Prospera’s duaaghter and a brave young suitor. The spectacle celebrates the power of femininity and love. 7:30 p.m. Sun Life Stadium. 2269 NW 199th St. Miami Gardens. 33056.

The Book of Mormon o This week, the popular touring production of The Book of Mormon moves venues from Miami to the Kravis Center in West Palm Beach. Written by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Tony-winning The Book of Mormon follows the missionary adventures of Elder Kevin Price and Elder Arnold Cunningham as they try to spread their religious fervor in Uganda. Lampooning both the Mormon religion and traditional Broadway musicals, The Book of Mormon has received unanimous critical adoration for its plot, choreography, and score. It runs until December 21st. 8:00 p.m. Kravis Center for the Performing Arts. 701 Okeechobee Blvd. West Palm Beach. 33401.

The Black Keys 12/16

(Photo by Paul Hendrix)

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SCREEN QUEEN

DVD Gift Guide BY

CHRIS AZZOPARDI

FOR THE NOSTALGIA Pee-wee’s Playhouse: The Complete Series For queers of every kind, Pee-wee’s Playhouse was a place to hang without feeling weird about being weird. Subverting heteronormativity with its groundbreaking portrayal of a wildly cartoonish man-boy in a bow tie, actor Paul Reubens’ iconic ’80s character smiled and winked at gay culture (Pee-wee once “married” a fruit bowl), and he had a diverse cast of friends who made every kid feel like they fit in. There was Tito, his buff, shirtless, hot-pants-wearing “Playhouse Lifeguard,” and Jambi the Genie – because everyone knows a gossip queen. Beyond the characters, kids tuned in for the “secret word,” the catchphrases (“I know you are, but what am I?!”), the zippy Cyndi Lauper-sung opening and that inimitable Pee-wee giggle. Before Reubens brings his alter ego back to the big screen, as he recently announced, the entire Emmy-winning series – all five seasons of Peewee’s Playhouse, spanning eight discs – lands on Blu-ray with over four hours of wonderfully wacky features. Explore the production design, delight in Playhouse fandom, and get reacquainted with the Pee-wee performers who would forever change childhood.

Sleeping Beauty: Diamond Edition Elsa may be able to turn nothingness into fabulous ice castles with the fling of a finger, but Sleeping Beauty... she... she... yeah, so maybe Sleeping Beauty got the short end of the fairies’ sticks. But now, Aurora is getting some much-deserved respect as Disney awakens her from the vault. One of Walt’s oft-overlooked underdogs – Aurora was always second to Snow White and Cinderella and Ariel and Belle and Jasmine – finally rises from the shadows of her Disney sisters for this dolled-up Diamond Edition, which includes deleted scenes and the bonus “The Art of Evil: Generations of Disney Villains.” Yup, sorry, girls; she woke up like this.

MERRY… HALLOWEEN? Halloween: The Complete Collection (Deluxe Edition) The Halloween franchise has had so many reincarnations – and John Carpenter’s original is such timeless cinema – it’s hard to remember when the bludgeon-

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ing began. It was 36 years ago when the classic slasher saga first introduced the freakiness that is Michael Myers and made a star out of Jamie Lee Curtis, who played the resilient Myers’ sister, Laurie Strode, and put up a good fight all the way through 2002’s Resurrection (the film was a hot mess and starred Busta Rhymes, so she probably didn’t fight that hard). Other people didn’t stand a chance against the masked maniac (RIP Joseph Gordon-Levitt and your pretty face). Over the years, from 1978 to 2009, nine films – and the bizarrely Michael-less Season of the Witch – have emancipated the unburnable, unstabbable, unshootable, unstoppable Myers to work his knife on Tyra Banks, Michelle Williams, even comedy king Paul Rudd, who’d probably like to forget Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers as much as the rest of us. Undeniably fierce, however, is Curtis’ comeback in H2O, a reliably creepy anniversary

affair that’s arguably the best of the sequels. From Starz/Anchor Bay, the 10-film franchise, including Rob Zombie’s divisive reboots, is together at last on 14 Blu-ray discs (one DVD) with a spate of whatnots: endless hours of special features, a new commentary track with Curtis on H2O and the neverbefore-released producer’s cut of Halloween 6. guymagtube

The Sopranos: The Complete Series

(BOOB) TUBE FAVES True Blood: The Complete Series After leaving the funeral business behind and burying Six Feet Under, well, six feet under, creator Alan Ball was desperate to sink his teeth into something less grave. True Blood was a breather for Ball. He would use the show as a platform for timely cultural commentary on the LGBT landscape, equal rights, violence against gays and the quest for identity and build those issues into an insatiable glut of blood, boobs and butts. You couldn’t turn away, and you likely didn’t – the show, which launched in 2008, lasted for seven sexy seasons. So, as if that nude standoff between Eric and Alcide – or the shower fantasy, or the time Eric seduced Talbot, or every shirtless Joe Manganiello scene – isn’t already preserved in all the horny fibers of your head, you now have the power to deploy freeze-frame on 33 discs of vamp camp, Blu-ray beefcake (hi-def abs!) and ample extras. Supplements are season-centric, with faux commercials and episode-specific commentaries. If you make it all the way through the final season’s candid, 15-minute long farewell feature, “True Death: The Final Days On Set,” you’ll know more than you ever cared to about one of TV’s bloodiest, boobiest shows.

Look at just about any legit “TV That Changed Our Lives” list and there’s The Sopranos, HBO’s celebrated series that has become so part of the pop-culture zeitgeist you can’t say you haven’t seen it without hanging your head in shame. Because even those who’ve been sleeping since 1999, when the show premiered to overwhelming and enduring praise, know this gritty crime drama is about an Italian-American family of mobsters, and that the great, late James Gandolfini created a TV icon. Effortlessly transcending his fictional role, Gandolfini was Tony Soprano. As head of the Soprano household, and in addition to his complicated relationship with his wife (a terrifically memorable Edie Falco), he finds himself at odds trying to maintain dual roles as family man and ass-kicker. The Sopranos had a successful 86-episode run through 2007, fetching gobs of awards, rebranding HBO as a destination for original, cutting-edge drama and, years later, still carrying a legacy indicative of its cultural influence. And, for all its alpha-male machismo, it was queer-inclusive: In season 2, we meet Vito Spatafore, a gay gangster. This boxed set marks the Blu-ray debut of The Sopranos, and commemorating this hi-def experience is “Defining a Television Landmark,” a new in-depth featurette on the show’s transformative effect on TV.

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CLASSICS The Audrey Hepburn Collection Screen legend Audrey Hepburn was spirited, charming and beautiful, and every scene moment – particularly during the height of her film career in the mid-20th century – brought infinite joy to all those hopeless romantics basking in her glow. That divinity (and smile) radiates through these three romantic gems culled for a special Blu-ray set: Sabrina, a warmhearted, Cinderella-hued romance where two men pine for the titular character, played by Hepburn; Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the winsome classic that inspired generations of college women to turn their dorms into NYC-inspired, ’60s-centric pads; and Funny Face, the posh 1957 musical that delightfully pairs the actress with Fred Astaire. Even if there are no new extras – they’re carryovers from a previous DVD release – the films look as ravishing as Hepburn herself.

Eraserhead The fear-triggered horrors of fatherhood have never quite seen anything like Eraserhead, birthed from the freakish sensibilities of David Lynch and popular among midnight-movie crowds. Turning heads within the cult circuit since 1977, the Mulholland Drive surrealist’s full-length debut feature descends into the twisted mind of a young man, Henry (Jack Nance),

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SCREEN QUEEN

suddenly faced with not just any child but one that appears to have fought its way out of Sigourney Weaver’s stomach. Are we hanging in Henry’s subconscious the whole time? That ugly baby can’t be real, right? Who knows? This is Lynch doing what he does best: working your mind and haunting your thoughts. Finally, Eraserhead is resurrected on Blu-ray thanks to Criterion Collection’s meticulous rendering of the film’s striking black-and-white aesthetics. Included among the extensive extras are new restorations of six shorts directed by Lynch, an illustrated booklet, and archival interviews and footage dating back to the film’s original release.

penises kiss. In this sequel to the original reboot, doofus duo Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum) are college-bound and facing the challenges of bromance, sassy roommates (please cast Jillian Bell in everything) and words (Jenko confuses “carte blanche” for “Cate Blanchett” – easy mistake). With a seriously funny couple’stherapy session, a Harvey Milk namedrop and Tatum teaching gay lingo, 22 Jump Street is just two cowboy hats away from being the gayest movie of 2014. Their love affair sustains throughout the special features, which, among them, are a fun, irreverent commentary; the film’s “Dramatic Interpretation”; and “Janning and Chonah,” a look at the actors’ bromantic chemistry.

FOR A LAUGH

And stay through the credits to see said tot emulate each cast member, some in drag (the kid does an impressive Lisa Kudrow). Fun with prosthetic penises – based on Efron’s “real cast molding,” according to Christopher MintzPlasse – can be found on the bonus feature “On the Set With...”

Obvious Child Suddenly single, Donna Stern (Jenny Slate) is just your average dumpee, self-medicating with wine and casual sex. But when a drunken night of hanky-panky leads to bigger breasts, which leads to a check-up at Planned Parenthood, she finds herself preggers. It’s not your everyday setup for a rom-com, even though it is one (a very cute one, at that), but therein lays its allure: It’s a refreshing spin on a tried-andtrue formula. With former SNL-er Slate taking lead (this needs to be a thing more often, FYI), even a pro-lifer couldn’t resist the adorable, empathy-inducing candor she brings to Donna. But, also, who doesn’t like a good vagina joke? The 2009 short film that inspired the full-length, a commentary and a making-of are among the extras.

22 Jump Street Next Jump Street, Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum will inevitably tie the knot, adopt babies and inspire a whole world of bros to become LGBT activists. How could they not? 22 Jump Street is so gay that the only thing gayer would be if they made their

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Neighbors Here’s an early Christmas gift, and it’s already unwrapped: Zac Efron’s ripped, frequently shirtless body in Neighbors, a comedy about a frat (led by Efron and a butt-baring Dave Franco) whose hard-party shenanigans drive their quiet neighbors to react in ridiculous ways. The married couple – Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne – go to awkwardly desperate measures to coax the raucous brats into curbing the noise so they can put their baby boy down. Buffoonery unravels. Robotic boners happen. theguymag

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Chris Azzopardi is the editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBT wire service. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com. guymagtube

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PUZZLE

Change for Nichols

ACROSS 1 Rainbow maker 6 Mamma Mia! band 10 Like sex with a condom 14 Hertz ___-Car 15 Falsies? 17 TV movie in which Patrick Wilson played a gay Mormon 19 Agenda listing 20 Totals 21 Straight, in a bar 22 Type of job 23 Tournament passes 24 Type of meeting 25 AOL or MSN, e.g. 28 Needing to be set straight 30 Movie in which Cher played a lesbian 32 Wetland birds 33 Camille screenwriter Akins 34 Poet Seward 35 With 59-Across, Elizabeth Taylor movie 39 Upfront amount 42 Aardvark entree 43 Gets rough with

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47 Williams-Lane movie, with The 50 “Long Walk to Freedom” writer 51 La mer, essentially 52 Part of Q and A (abbr.) 53 Tracks in mud 54 Pro Bowl side 55 Langston Hughes’ “Life Is ___” 57 Long division subject 58 All possible starting words 59 See 35-Across 62 He played Grace’s dad 63 Military muff 64 Actor Auberjonois 65 First to be counted 66 Actor Malcolm-___ Warner DOWN 1 Setting for Cather’s My ¡ntonia 2 Doing a show based on “La Boheme”? 3 Boxer Johansson 4 Pansy supporter 5 Baudelaire’s Fleurs du ___

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6 Puts up with 7 Stock counterparts 8 Wraps around drag queens 9 SDI weapon 10 Barely move? 11 Aida solo 12 Group for same sect’s marriage? 13 Emissions-watching org. 16 Title character for Barbra 18 Affirms orally 23 B in Leviticus 24 Place on piles 26 Prince Hal, to Henry IV 27 Palm Pilot, e.g. 29 Copied a kitty 30 Needing Cialis? 31 Went in ankle-deep 33 Billy of Cleopatra (1999) 36 Doesn’t stay up 37 First name in mystery 38 Justice Fortas 39 Guys and Dolls co-creator Burrows 40 Peeples of Fame 41 Oral treat 44 White caps 45 Hay for a stallion, perhaps 46 Diplomatic 48 Like a real bitch 49 “End of” tail 50 Pirate uprising 53 Took away in cuffs 56 Bizet opera title character 57 Nichols, who directed the movies in this puzzle 58 Hebrides island 59 Water sports accessory 60 Would-be master’s test 61 Daily, for bears, for short

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Get Out of Your Slump!

Part 2: Exercises and Stretches to Improve Your Posture by Tom

bonanTi

Last week I spoke at great length about the importance of maintaining good posture. Reversely, I alluded to the fact that poor posture can result over time in a whole host of un-pleasantries from sciatica and herniated discs to neuritis and even impotence. Fortunately, many of these conditions can be avoided or lessened with a good program of stretching and weight training. The modified yoga exercises described here, (developed years ago at the International Sports Medicine Institute in Los Angeles) were designed to enhance good posture by stretching tight muscles while simultaneously strengthening weaker ones. Inhale on the stretch and exhale on the relaxation phase. Performed once or twice daily with your workouts or on their own, these exercises can reduce compression on the lower back, strengthen abdominal and back muscles, and stretch chest and neck muscles among many other good things. Oh, and theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll help you stand up straight and perky, too! Get started today. Reverse Shrug: Lean against a post or wall until it touches your entire spine. Keep your feet apart and about 12 to 18 inches forward and use a rolled up towel between your knees to isolate your inner thighs and abdomen. Bend your knees and let your arms hang naturally. Raise your shoulders to your ears, then backwards (feel your shoulder blades pinching together), then lower straight down. Repeat the exercise with your hands touching your shoulders and elbows extended to the sides and repeat again with your arms extended and hands bent up and out as if pushing against a wall. Adductor/Abdominal Curl: Lie on your back with your legs straight, knees unlocked, with a rolled towel between your thighs to

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isolate the lower abs. Curl (donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lift) your upper body into a crunch while squeezing the towel. Repeat with legs bent on a chair. You can keep your hands pressed against your lower abdomen, crossed on your chest or touching the back of your head. Do three sets of 8 to 12 repetitions. These crunches will strengthen core muscles including the transverse and rectus abdominis. Adductor/Pelvic Tilt: Stand 18-24 inches from a wall with a rolled towel between your thighs. Keeping your neck and head relaxed, lean forward until you reach a 30 degree angle. Standing slightly pigeon-toed will reduce stress on the lower back. If you need to, bend your elbows. Tuck your pelvis upward toward your naval without squeezing your butt or lower back. Perform 25 repetitions. Hip Over: Lying flat on a mat on the floor with your legs straight, place your right arm above and behind your head and extend your left arm horizontally to create a 90 degree angle. As your left arm moves, bring your left leg diagonally across your body at a 45 degree angle up toward your opposite armpit, the leg in motion should be slightly bent. Get a good stretch in this position. Keep your shoulders flat on the floor, but you can rotate your lower hip. Repeat this in the opposite direction. Perform 5 sets on both sides. Your good posture is key in projecting a confident healthy image to the world. It is also crucial for maintaining good health and avoiding a myriad of nasty health difficulties. Contact trainertomb@aol.com to set up a free consultation today. Call Tom at (954) 5571119 and ask about Holiday Gift Certificates for Training and Massage. Check us out at www.pumpnincgym.com theguymag

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PRO SERVICES

& Tuesday 7 PM

ROYAL PARK Near Wilton Manors. 1BR/1.5 BA, $850-$1000/mo. 2BR/2BA, $950-$1200/mo. Gated community, Clubhouse, pools, gym, sauna & steam room. Pets ok. Cable/water/trash included. Call Naim Naqi, Realtor RWSF, (954) 565-2025. 72

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PRO SERVICES

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REAL ESTATE

PAUL SLUTSKY REALTOR ®

BUY• SELL•RENT

NOW IS THE TIME

(954)560-8330

paul@castellihomes.com www.paulslutsky.com

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