GuyMag #164 by Multi-Media Platforms

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January 9, 2013 #164

MARTINI DRIVE PG 13 THE WEEK PG 33

TRAVEL: PHOENIX, AZ MR. MASOCHIST PG 59 PG 69 Bobby Blair Publisher Kevin Hopper Associate Publisher Cliff Dunn Editor George Dauphin Creative Director Contributors Duncan St. Thibault, Tom Bonanti, Andy Kress, Adam Strong, Robert Elias Deaton, Richard David Chamberlain, Justin Jones, Grant James, Alex Vaughn Editorial Photographers Dennis Dean, Stephen Kuttner, Ginger Milligan Art Department Niki Lopez Graphic Designer Sales Display Advertising sales@guymag.net - 954-380-8563 x2101 Keith Chamlee 954-380-8563 x2111 National Sales Rivendell Media National Ad Representatives 212-242-6863 Display Deadlines Ad Production Request: Wednesday, Noon Camera-Ready Ads: Friday, Noon Classifieds Deadlines Text Ad Placement: Thursday, Noon Classified Display Ad Production/Placement Request: Thursday, Noon Camera-Ready Classified Display Ad: Friday, Noon Media Board of Advisors Alan Beck, Keith Blackburn, Robert Boo, Reece Darham, Terry DeCarlo, Richard Hack, Kevin Hopper, Paul Hugo, Peter Jackson, Krishan Manners, Mark Negrete, Jackson Padgett, Gary Santis, Jason Tamanini, Brett Tannenbaum, Dean Trantalis, Victor Zepka Main Office 2435 N Dixie Hwy, Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Phone 954-380-8563 Fax 954-380-8567 editor@guymag.net

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Infinity Lounge Presents

FUNKY DEEP HOUSE SATURDAYS Dj Chuck Knowles 9pm-Midnight

THE INFINITE WEEK

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COVER

Drive Martini

Surfing the Drive for the Wet and the Dry (Martinis)

By Cliff Dunn

The message is far-from-subtle: Up the length and breadth of Wilton Drive images of martinis entice the thirsty traveler into the Gayborhood watering holes. Some of these establishments have even incorporated stylized versions of a martini glass, from the Drive standard Georgie’s Alibi to its across-the-street neighbor Village Pub, and even the now-late Matty’s (which is soon to be—rumor has it—the new club Rumors), which plopped a grape in smack center in place of the classic olive. The martini, typically made with gin and vermouth and garnished with an olive or lemon twist (and called a Gibson when tarted up with a pickled cocktail onion) is one of the world’s best known drinks. “Charlotte’s Web” and “Stuart Little” penner E. B. White said the martini is “the elixir of quietude,” and writer H. L. Mencken

Noel Coward Photo by Allan Warren

called it “the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.” James Bond’s famously shaken-not-stirred vodka martini, also known as a vodkatini or kangaroo cocktail, is made with vodka and vermouth. The use of vermouth to make a martini “wet” is of course a matter of taste but likewise a source of contention through the years. Many aficionados have advocated eliminating vermouth entirely, including Noel Coward, who suggested “filling a glass with gin and waving it in the general direction of Italy,” and Winston Churchill, who would whisper the word “vermouth” into the glass. On Wilton Drive, you can find all varieties of the classy potable. Latin bartending papi Alfredo at Rosie’s Bar and Grill offers the “Classic” Gin Martini, which is made with one dash of dry vermouth, two ounces of gin (chilled), and garnished with an olive or lemon twist, with rocks (ice) optional. On the other side of the Drive, Mike at Tropics points to the “perfect” martini, which contains equal amounts of sweet and dry vermouth. At The Manor, bartending hottie Robert pours it old school, with the “original” martini (invented by a long-gone barman named Martinez—or maybe it was Martini—in 1912 at New York’s Knickerbocker Hotel: two dashes of orange bitters, one dash of THE COVER STORY continues on page 14

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COVER orange liqueur, one ounce of vermouth, and two ounces of gin, poured into a mixing glass filled with ice, and stirred well. Infinity Lounge has taken the science of martinimaking and turned it into an art, with dozens of tasty variations including one called the “Fort Lauderdale,” which tasted like orange heaven on a cloud, and which bore a strong resemblance to the Cosmopolitan Martini, which is made with one-half ounce of orange liqueur, one ounce of vodka, juice from half a lime, and a splash of cranberry juice, shaken over ice and strained and served in a chilled martini glass. Happy hour bartender Larry at the Alibi says— without a hint of irony—that he likes his (martinis) dirty, a variation containing a splash of olive brine or olive juice and garnished with an olive. Galanga shakes things up with the tasty Far East cocktail called a Saketini, which combines two-anda-half ounces of gin with one-and-a-half teaspoons of sake rice wine (don’t forget the cocktail olive). At Bill’s, Vickie likes to serve up the tasty Chocolate Martini, consisting of two ounces of vodka and two ounces of crème de cacao or chocolate liqueur, and garnished with chocolate shavings (which she swears is calorie-free). Matty’s alumnus Jason, who has taken the former bar’s Wednesday night 75 cent drinks next door to New Moon, shows his Old Country (both Italy and Hoboken) roots with the playful Neapolitan Martini, which mixes one ounce of vanilla-flavored vodka, one ounce of orange-flavored vodka, one ounce of orange liqueur, and a splash of lime juice. I scream, you scream. For the perfect “perfect” martinis, the Drive comes alive, before and after five. Pinkies up!

Drive-By Martinis

Martini Culture

Often imitated in gay culture: Nick and Nora Charles of THE THIN MAN Movies. Which one are you? William Powell or Myrna Loy?

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The spy who drank martini: Sean Connery as JAMES BOND in the ’60s and ’70s. Did he leave you shaken or stirred?

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THE SCENE

‘One’ Helluva Start to 2013 By Alex Vaughn

January kicked off with a Pride Center event to honor Rajée Rajindra Narinesingh, who received Black Gay Pride South Florida’s Imani Award, which carries the inscription, “It only takes one to build a legacy. It takes you.” The award for community leadership is usually bestowed upon members of the clergy, and it was a mark of her contributions to the community that the honor was bestowed upon her. Bishop from the Pride Center presented the award, and in her acceptance speech Rajee said, “We all have a purpose, but sometimes in life you don’t know if you are doing what you are supposed to. Tonight I know I am doing what I am supposed to do.” After receiving the award Narinesingh, who released her memoir, “Beyond Face Value,” in November, said, “Oh my gosh—I was so honored, because it came from my peers in the LGBT community, and many people were there,” including Wilton Manors Vice Mayor Tom Green. The year 2013 rolled in with a bang, with the streets of the Gayborhood teeming with locals and guests bringing in the New Year in style. The Drive came alive as one community, and each bar was full to the rafters with revellers who were ready to say goodbye to 2012. The Manor Complex was a mob scene, with familiar faces—including Big Al Cicotte and Kevin Palombo, and Sean David from Johnny’s—joining a legion of twinks, studs, and partiers for champagne at midnight and music ’til the wee small hours. Brian Neal and Bobby Blair were at Village Pub enjoying the party atmosphere, while David Griffiths and his partner danced at Boom ’til they couldn’t dance anymore! As in previous years, Georgie’s Alibi owners Jackson Padgett and Mark Negrete turned their parking lot into a mini Times Square, complete with subways signs. When the Big Ball dropped at midnight, Rev. Jamie Grace of WIG Ministries was one of the many belting out “Auld Lang Syne.” As you know, Wilton Manors is not for the faint of heart, and “recovery day” has a whole different meaning here. There was no “sleeping it off” on New Year’s Day; instead, it was up at the crack of noon and off to the very first “One” party, held at Boom: 14 hours of nonstop house music by

Pam Ann arrives in May

DJs John LePage (of San Francisco), Bill Hallquist (Miami), Chris Padilla (NYC), and Rob Conner (also Blackburn of Keith San Fran), and featuring Raging Stallion’s Man of the Year, Ricky Sinz (Chicago) in the Main Room. DJs Jeffrey Jacobs and Doug Jackson joined us in the Lounge. The line-up was unlike anything ever presented in Wilton Manors, and there was also a special performance by recording artists “UNIT-911,” debuting their new single “Daddy Cool.” Also on the Drive—and apparently ignoring all resolutions—were photographer Lissa Good and runner Evan Richards, who were at Village Pub, where the party continued into the early morning. Rumor Has It: Despite a previous report (in these pages, no less), Wilton’s Bier Garden has apparently not been sold (and did you see the New Year’s Eve performance: a divine rhapsody in yellow and tropical colors). On the other hand, the former location of Matty’s on the Drive HAS been sold, to Nick Berry of Courtyard Cafe, who will open the place as a new watering hole that (we hear) will be called Rumors. Terry De Carlo announced that Broward House and the Broward Center for the Performing Arts are bringing the incredibly hysterical Pam Ann to town for one night only in May. Stay tuned: tickets will be on sale very soon!

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Celebrating the New Year!

All the way from Japan

Lovin South Florida from St. Louis

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Papi Alfredo (R) Celebrating with Friends at Infinity

Hubby Power: Bill Huelsman and Terry DeCarlo

Daddy Snaps and Ginger Snaps The Snaps Patrol

Security Robbie Keeping Tabs on the Door

Photos by Ginger Milligan, Stephen Kuttner, and Key West Business Guild

Saying Ali-Bye to 2012

CLICK

Photos by Stephen Kuttner

Auld Lang Syne at Rosieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Martin and Michael from the UK

Lords of the Manor: Michael.Tom,Dan and Claudio

International Celebration: In the Conch Republic

This Masquerade Has Balls

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New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve in Wilton Manors

Photos by Ginger Milligan

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New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve at the Manor

Photos by Stephen Kuttner

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New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve at Lips

Photos by Michael Cushman

Saturday, January 19, 2013 7 to 11 p.m. Richardson Historic Park Manor House 1937 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors, FL 33305 Free Parking available at Hagen Park Attire: Florida Cocktail

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Starting the year right in Wilton Manors

Photos by Lissa Good

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THE WEEK

Foreigner at Hard Rock Live

The Week 1/9 to 1/15/2013

Whoopi Goldberg, ‘Cake Boss,’ and a ‘Case’ of the Crabs By Grant James

Wednesday

1/9

Are You Sure They’re Foreigners? oThe sounds of legendary album rock band Foreigner take center stage at Hard Rock Live. A centerpiece of 80s rock (“Foreigner 4,” anyone?), the band—which has undergone more lineup changes than Menudo ever dreamed of—will jam tracks like “Urgent,” “Double Vision,” “Waiting for a Girl Like You,” and many others. The British-American rockers have sold 37 million records just in the U.S., and despite new faces, axe-man Mick Jones is still the heart and soul of the band. At 8 p.m. at Hard Rock Live (1 Seminole Way, Hollywood).

Jerry Garcia Lives! (Sort Of) oA former member of the Jerry Garcia Band, Melvin Seals carries on the legacy of the legendary Grateful Dead front man. Touring as “Melvin Seals and Jerry Garcia Band,” or sometimes just “JGB,”

Seals keeps Garcia’s spirit alive with arrangements that stay true to the folk rock pioneer’s original sound. Crazy Fingers and Bobby Lee Rodgers will open. At 8 p.m. at Revolution Live (100 SW 3 Ave., Fort Lauderdale).

It’s Ok to be Gay in Episcopalian USA o“Love Free or Die” is a documentary that centers on openly gay Episcopalian bishop Gene Robinson. A formerly married (to a woman) father of three children, Robinson’s process of coming out to friends and family, and later to the public, would culminate in his historic elevation to lead the church’s New Hampshire diocese, shattering the stain glass closet. Robinson has received death threats and has at times forced to wear a bullet proof vest—none of which has shaken his faith in a God who loves him—and everyone else—equally. At 7:30 p.m., at Miami Beach Cinematheque (1130 Washington Ave., Miami Beach). THE WEEK continues on page 34

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THE WEEK ____________________ Friday

1/11

Making Whoopi oThe multitalented Whoopi Goldberg has accumulated an Oscar along with a Grammy, Golden Globe, and an Emmy. (Who else could take the place of Paul Lynde in the Center Square?) She’s pretty much the only tolerable host on “The View,” and you know you loved her in “Sister Act.” See her flex her comedic muscles, as she returns to her standup roots. At 8 p.m. in the Kravis Center for the Performing Arts (701 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach).

5,000 Years of Culture in One Night (no Time Machine required)

____________________ Thursday

1/10

Digging (Up) All the Jazz Greats oThe most significant 20th Century jazz performers come together in a stunning photographic exhibit. “All That Jazz” features the iconography of legendary jazz icons Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Dizzy Gillespie, and others. See the legends up close (but don’t pinch Dizzy’s cheeks). From 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. in the Miramar Cultural Center Ansin Gallery (2400 Civic Center Pl., Miramar).

Édith Piaf: France’s Cultural Treasure (Before Jerry Lewis and Johnny Depp) o“Édith Piaf: The Story of the French Songstress” recalls the life of the 20th Century French singer, dancer and national icon who was abandoned by her parents, raised by prostitutes, and performed some of the most memorable ballads of the last century. Told through modern dance, singing, and dramatic theatre, the ballet drama presents Piaf’s tumultuous life, from first love, to fame, to alcohol and drug addiction. The chansons retain their dignity with the original French sung by special guest Melissa Bibliowicz. At 8 p.m., in the Aventura Arts and Cultural Center (3385 NE 188 St., Aventura).

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oThe international sensation of “Shen Yun 2013” has taken the world by storm, performing in over 100 cities and bringing 5,000 years of culture onto one stage. Traditional Chinese culture is brought to life through folk dancers and a full orchestra in this breathtaking performance. Travel to beautiful locations, drink in the fantastic atmosphere, and see the endless, colorful costumes—all from your seat. At 8 p.m. at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW 5 Ave., Fort Lauderdale).

THE WEEK ____________________ Saturday

1/12

Catch These Crabs! oPresented by Grille 401, the Second Annual Stone Crab and Seafood Festival features a foodie’s dream, with loads of delicious dishes from some of your favorite local restaurants, along with drinks, live music, games, prizes and lots more. From the Hermit Crab race to the seriously fresh seafood provided by favorite local restaurants, there’s something for everyone. At 11 a.m. in Esplanade Park (400 SW 2 St., Fort Lauderdale, next to the Broward Center for the Performing Arts).

o1980s and 90s comedian Sinbad made his mark on the cultural landscape (he’s also made his mark in other, less cuddly ways, like being named one of California’s top 10 worst tax offenders, allegedly owing the state $2.5 million in 2009; anyway…). The comic starred alongside Bill Cosby, Lisa Bonet, Phil Hartman, and the Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger (“Jingle All The Way,” anyone?). He was famous for “playing clean” in the 90s (no cussing, how sweet), but who knows now—a boy’s gotta eat. At 7 p.m., in the Hard Rock Live (1 Seminole Way, Hollywood).

____________________ Monday

1/14

A Fierce Pianist (I Said “Pianist”) oIn “Epic Heroes and Their Goddesses,” the South Florida Symphony Orchestra with featured pianist Natasha Paremski performs several acclaimed pieces, including Strauss’s symphonic poem “Macbeth” (you remember the bitchy wife), Jean Sibelius’s fantasy “Pohjola’s Daughter,” and Claude Debussy’s “Scottish March.” Pianist Paremski (try saying that ten times fast) has been described by The Guardian (UK) as “embracing fearlessly the extremes of tenderness and fierce passion.” At 7:30 p.m., in the Broward Center for the Performing Arts (201 SW 5 Ave., Fort Lauderdale).

Paul Anka, His Way or the Highway oPaul Anka’s 50s pop song “Diana” may have been the first recorded declaration of teenage love to a cougar (“I’m so young and you’re so old, this my darling I’ve been told”). The single put the thenteen on the map, and later singles like “Put Your Head On My Shoulder” cemented his status. Anka also wrote such cultural gems as the theme song for “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,” Tom Jones’ loungy ballad, “She’s a Lady,” and Frank Sinatra’s legendary “My Way.” Catch the now-71 year old singer/songwriter up close and personal, for old time’s sake. At 8 p.m. in the Kravis Center for the Performing Arts (701 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach).

____________________ Sunday

Sinbad Sails Again

1/13

Let Them Eat Cake o“Cake Boss” Buddy Valastro will perform live demonstrations, tell stories in that ever-so-subtle Hoboken accent, and even join in for some audience participation. It’s cake like you’ve never seen—or eaten—it before. At 7 p.m., in the Fillmore Miami Beach (1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach).

____________________ Tuesday

1/15

Selling Murder—From Beyond the Grave! oPerhaps the only place you’ll see more lines than on Lindsay Lohan’s dresser is in the complete bibliography of mystery writer Agatha Christie. The “Dame of Death” was so prolific, that several of her short stories were released posthumously in the 1990s. Selling novels from beyond the grave? Not bad for a dead, er, dame. Four of Dame Agatha’s BBC Radio stories have been “rediscovered” and adapted for the stage. Experience a night of murder, mystery, and music. At 8 p.m., in the Parker Playhouse (707 NE 8 St., Fort Lauderdale).

“Professional” Doesn’t Mean “Boring” oGet your networking on at the Mack Mixer, Greater Fort Lauderdale’s largest gay/straight-friendly cocktail mixer. Create new relationships with other like-minded individuals in a fun and professional environment. The $10 entry fee includes one Ketel One cocktail; now what’s stopping you from attending? At 6:30 p.m., at Dapur Asian Tapas and Lounge (1620 N. Federal Hwy, Fort Lauderdale).

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DINING

Zona Fresca Not Your Everyday Mexican Food By Richard David Chamberlain

The Tostada Bowl ($6.95) sat on its plate surrounded by some still-hot tortilla chips, while we scooped up several varieties of salsa from the ample self-serve bar and ladled them in cups that begged to be filled to capacity. The flour tortilla shell, the size of a small salad bowl, proudly held its fresh greens, black beans, freshly made guacamole, sour cream, just-chopped pica de gallo, and chicken breasts that were grilled and had the black scorch marks to prove it. Where tostadas are concerned, it’s not the first number two in Plantation.) bite that counts. It’s only after the salad becomes “I love the bold, simple flavors that Baja infused with the lemony dressing that things reCalifornia has to offer, without the use of lard or ally begin to happen. And so it was here, at Zona heavy sauces,” Dobravolskis says, while pointing Fresca, the fresh Mexican grill with locations in to an array of food on the Zona Fresca menu that Fort Lauderdale, Plantation (1095 S University Dr.) fits that description perfectly. and Pompano Beach (800 N Federal Hwy.). The Shrimp Burrito ($7.95) with its charbroiled Mexican food is thought to be fattening food, shrimp, shredded cabbage, pinto beans, Monterey and can be if you graze into refried beans and Jack cheese, pico de gallo sauce, and a lovely nachos territory. But at Zona Fresca, with its emhousemade tangy dressing, is an excellent exphasis on fresh all-natural ingredients, the chancample. There is a cascade of mounting flavors that es of running up the calorie count are as rare as a caresses more than overwhelms in this excellent high-priced tab. The most expensive item on the dish, which originated in Cabo San Lucas in 1975. entire menu is an enormous Siesta Maker EnchiThe tacos are Zona Fresca are all made with lada Style ($8.94), which is admittedly HUGE. It soft torillas, in the authentic Mexican fashion, combines a flour tortilla with charbroiled chicken with the Baja Fish Taco ($2.75) wrapping itself or steak, black or pinto beacns, cilantro rice, around beer battered white fish, shredded cabgrilled peppers and onions, melted Monterey Jack bage, pico de gallo sauce, and the same tangy and cheddar cheeses, sour cream, pica de gallo dressing used in the shrimp burrito. For those and housemade guacamole, all topped with more who learned Mexican food from visits to Taco cheeses and a red sauce that’s been made from Bell, Zona Fresca offers a Gringo Taco ($2.75) in scratch. Delicious and super filling! which tomato, shredded lettuces and cheese are Zona Fresca is the kind of place that exists to combined with your choice of charbroiled chicken feed the locals, and it’s a regular pit stop with or steak. Either way, the price is right and the those in the know who find comfort in receiving taste is fresh. some value for their dollars and enough food Yes, there are Nachos ($5.25) and Guasadillas to fill a Chihuahua-bag at the end of the ($5.25) on the favorites menu, but given meal. It’s been that way since co-foundtheir high fat content and large entrée ers Oscar de Armas and longtime size, it might be better to watch somefriend Tim Dobravolskis opened their one else enjoy these while you order 1635 N Federal first location in Fort Lauderdale. (Ansomething else and leave with your Hwy. other friend of de Armas, architect Fort Lauderdale, FL dignity and waistline intact. And, as Martin Diaz-Yabor, would join the always, tell them Guy Magazine sent 33305 business partnership with locations you. Ay, caramba!

ZONA FRESCA

954-566-1777

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BAR MAP 40

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4) BOOM 2232 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

8) DUDES 3270 NE 33rd St Fort Lauderdale

12) THE MANOR COMPLEX 16) NEW MOON 2345 Wilton Drive 2440 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors Wilton Manors

11) LIPS 15) NAKED GRAPE 1421 E Oakland Park Blvd 2163 Wilton Drive Oakland Park Wilton manors

7) DEPOT CABANA BAR AND GRILL 2935 N Federal Hwy Fort Lauderdale

14) MONKEY BUSINESS 2740 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale

13) MONA’S 502 E Sunrise Blvd Fort Lauderdale

3) BOARDWALK 1721 N Andrews Ave Fort Lauderdale

9) INFINITY LOUNGE 2184 WIlton Drive Wilton Manors

10) JOHNNY’S 1116 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale

5) CORNER PUB 1915 N Andrews Ave Wilton Manors

2) BILL’S FILLING STATION 6) CUBBY HOLE 2209 Wilton Drive 823 N Federal Hwy Wilton Manors Fort Lauderdale

1) ALIBI 2266 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

25) TROPICS 2000 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

23) THE STABLE 205 E Oakland Park Blvd Fort Lauderdale 24) TORPEDO 2829 W Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale

20) SCANDALS SALOON 3073 NE 6th Ave Wilton Manors

27) WILTON’S BIER GARDEN 2245 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

26) VILLAGE PUB 22) SMARTY PANTS 2400 E Oakland Park Blvd 2283 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors Fort Lauderdale 19) ROSIE’S BAR & GRILL 2449 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors

18) RAMROD 1508 NE 4th Ave Fort Lauderdale

17) PJ’S CORNER POCKET 21) SIDELINES 924 North Flagler Drive 2031 Wilton Drive Wilton Manors Wilton Manors

DINING

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HEALTH

Doing Cardio the Right Way By Tom Bonanti

Have you ever noticed how miserable most guys look when they’re doing cardio? Going through the same motions day after day is just plain monotonous. Let me share an approach that will take the “ho-hum” out of your cardio-vascular training. It’s called interval training and it will work for you. Interval training is an exercise session in which the intensity and duration of exercise are consciously alternated between harder and easier work. For example, you might run all-out for 15 seconds, then rest or slow down to an easy walk for 30 seconds: that’s one interval. By varying the duration of either your sprint or your walking, you can change the way the interval affects your body. In other words, some types of intervals are better for losing fat, while others are better for gaining endurance or lifting weights. There are two things to remember here. First, interval training requires a little more planning than simply climbing onto a treadmill for 20 minutes. Second, to do interval training, you’ll have to estimate what percentage of your all-out effort you want to be working. Basically, the speed you’d run or cycle to save your life equals 100 percent. From there, adjust how fast and hard you have to work so your output reflects the recommended percentage. Interval Training for Bodybuilders Weight training is a great way to build lean muscle, but it doesn’t burn much fat or calories. Try this interval training routine two times a week, preferably on non-weight training days, and you’ll melt fat and feel increased stamina as you lift: 1) W arm up: Five minutes of jogging or cycling at 30 percent of your all-out effort. 2) R un or cycle for 15 seconds at 100 percent of your all-out effort. 3) W alk or cycle at an easy pace for one minute. 4) R epeat steps two and three up to seven more times. 5) F inish with five minutes of light stretching Intervals for Fat Loss Interval training is superior to aerobic exercise for fat loss. That doesn’t mean it burns more calories; it means it burns more fat and protects your body from burning up

hard-earned lean muscle mass. Sprints force your muscles to work harder just like weight training and this makes your body more resistant to using muscle for energy. Do this routine three to five times per week to melt fat: 1) W arm up for 10 minutes by jogging or cycling at 30 percent of your all-out effort. 2) R un or cycle for 30 seconds at about 90 percent of your all-out effort. 3) S low down to 30 percent of your all-out effort for 60 seconds. 4) R epeat steps two and three up to seven more times. 5) F inish with five minutes of walking, jogging and light stretching at 30 percent of your all-out effort. Intervals for Endurance Interval training is great for building aerobic endurance. Perform this two times a week in addition to your regular “cardio” of choice: 1) W arm up for 10 minutes by jogging or cycling at 30 percent of your all-out effort. 2) R un or cycle at the fastest pace you can maintain for 10 minutes. 3) S low down and walk around as you lightly stretch for 10 minutes. 4) R epeat steps two and three. 5) I f you are a beginner, do three to six total intervals. If you’re more advanced, do a maximum of 10 intervals. 6) Finish with stretching for 10 minutes. For further tips on more effective ways to do cardio, contact TrainerTomB@aol.com now.

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HEALTH

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HEALTH

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TRAVEL

Thailand Land of Temples and Kindness By Robert Elias Deaton

A funny thing happened on our vacation to Thailand. We actually discovered an incredible country. While that may sound like a very strange way to introduce a travelogue of a place known for its temples and girl-boys, there is an entire world culture to be uncovered here that will leave you breathless with its serenity and its complicated rituals. You get to Thailand through Bangkok, a bustling city of 11 million squashed together into some sort of happy, harmonious master play in which everyone (but you) understands the choreography. At 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. you’ll hear the country’s national anthem blare over loudspeakers. Smile. This is a twice-daily event in this country of temples and tut-tuts. The correct reaction is to rise to your feet and pay respect to the king, for he is a hellofa leader, and has made your visit possible. Prices are unbelievably cheap all through the country, kept reasonable because of the shear number of workers—each trying to earn a tiny wage. Tipping is not expected here, which may at first sound like a good thing, but in reality is more suggestive of how little these people and their culture expect from foreigners and each other. Everyone you see is likely to be Buddhist, whose creed of tranquility, tolerance and non-violence will be a refreshing change of pace from what you’re accustomed to in the U.S. This is not an act. These are genuinely gentle people, and it will take you a moment to slow down your pace and learn to enjoy this quiet place of peace. The weather will be hot—usually over 80 degrees in the city, with the need to bathe both your body and your clothing often. There are few local do-it-yourself laudromats but many places that will takes your clothes and have them back, washed, folded and pressed within an hour. Just don’t leave anything there that can’t be washed: everything at drop off services is treated as if it were made of cotton—and washed as such.

Unless you are in a Western hotel or fancy restaurant, you will discover that Thailand is the land of the squat toilet with footprints to indicate where you place your feet on each side of a hole in the ground. That bucket of water next to the toilet is equipped with a ladle to flush away your leftovers. While it may sound slightly primitive—alright, it is primitive—it’s the way things are done here outside of the tourist traps and Western hotels. Throw yourself into the moment and you’ll soon not even be fazed by the ritual. And yes, you can use your cell phone in Thailand, just not the way you would think. It is NOT necessary to play the U.S. game of getting a special international roaming plan, unless you enjoy wasting money and want a bad phone signal. In Thailand, the way things are done is through SIM cards and pre-paid phone cards. Go to the MGK Mall (located next to the Sky Train Station for the National Stadium) and go to the cell phone floor— yes, an entire floor is dedicated to cell phones here. Go up to any counter and ask to have your cell phone unlocked. This is a five-minute whileyou-wait procedure. When it is accomplished, the kiosk owner will likely try to sell you a SIM care that will fit your phone. Say yes, and for a few dollars, you’ll have a working telephone (albeit with a local Thai number). But a card that will allow you to add minutes to the phone, and presto, you’ve got a working cell phone to call any number in America on the cheap. (Just dial a “1” before the area code and you’re in.) Next week, we’ll take you around the country, and discover the REAL reason for coming to this remarkable land.

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Hair-pulling, necksucking, lip-biting, dick-grabbing. “Get out of your jeans,” he orders. You do as you’re told. He describes dirty things, makes you do them, calls you a “whore” and a “bitch.” He slaps you more than once, and he spits in your face. He grabs your neck and squeezes ’til it hurts, yells obscenities at you, and smacks your ass. You’re enjoying every minute. For the next hour-and-change you are his slave. You will fulfill his every command, no matter how dark or twisted. There are a few requests at which you hesitate. But he tells you to do them, so you must. It’s part of the game. He wants to get you to do things you don’t want to do, to show you that he can and to put you in your place. For him, you are an object, only incidentally animate, anchorless and rudderless without his instruction. “Without me, you’re worthless,” he tells you in the heat of your twisted, and borderline abusive, passion. The thought of being his object, of being subject to such unwarranted punishment for the pleasure of someone bigger and stronger than you are, the thought of this has led you here. All of this—the pain, the humiliation, the indignity!—all of this is what you want. Your experience as a minion submissive to his will: it can’t get better than this. He (who you’ve come to exalt as “Sir” and—on special occasions—“Master”) climaxes an hour into your play. His relief comes violently and leaves you bruised. You’ll take care of your own pleasure later, you think. As hot as this was, it was still, well, really very painful, and you can’t come now. Which was,

after all and to some extent the objective; it hurt so good. Things suddenly change when he finishes. Not that you thought he was ever interested in being your friend or anything, but now, as he tosses you aside, it suddenly isn’t like it was. Him treating you like shit isn’t hot and you’re not turned on anymore. “Go get me a beer,” he says as he sits on his couch, his legs spread wide. He fondles himself, getting himself going for round two. “I have to go,” you say, even though the sight is tantalizing. But as hot as it was, you can’t take it again. You want him to show you some affection, some appreciation for the level of suffering you endured, all for his pleasure. This it seems is the plight of the “modest masochist:” someone who has more imagination in his mind than his stomach will bear. Colloquially, a “poser.” He wants the outward appearance of being a masochist, to give himself over to complete submission—but only sometimes. In most other instances, he fits that awful, all-toovanilla portrait of a “normal.” For these folks, a word of caution: When you meet the perfect “sadist” for your inner masochist, be careful that your libido doesn’t start writing checks that your ass can’t cash.

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