Just for Families Issue 8

Issue 8

ust Families J for

Incorporating The UK Forces Education Guide

Win Tickets!

Buddy Holly - A Lege nd Reborn

ine he Mar

T

nd Mum

Wife a

...

ry on nd Car a m l a Keep C Parenting

Scotty’s Little

Soldiers

Through 1957 to ‘59 one man changed the face of music and revolutionised the meaning of Rock ‘N’ Roll. That man was Buddy Holly.

Clutching a Fender Stratocaster, sporting a pair of heavy-rimmed glasses, and sounding exactly like Buddy in his heyday, a legend is reborn.

This all new production celebrates an artist who shot straight into the limelight as soon as That’ll Be The Day hit the radio.

Though his career was short, this one-man powerhouse gave the world a stack of hits that will never be forgotten.

Join Buddy Holly - A Legend Reborn to relive the Rockin’ fifties music scene with hits such as Peggy Sue, Oh Boy, Heartbeat, It Doesn’t Matter Anymore, Words of Love, It’s So Easy, Rave On and many more.

Win Tickets!

We are offering one lucky reader the chance to win a pair of tickets to see ‘A Legend Reborn’ at The Assembly Aberdeen on 14th April 2018

Simply answer the following question...

What was the name of Buddy Holly’s first song to be played on the radio?

Send us your answer, along with your name, telephone number and address either via email to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Closing date 28/02/18

Welcome to issue 8 of Just for Families…

We hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and wish you a Happy New Year!

Thank you for all of your support during 2017, especially via Facebook where we love to see all of your pictures! This issue we celebrate mums for Mother’s Day and you can see some of the wonderful pictures that were sent to us.

JustFamilies for

Incorporating The UK Forces Education Guide

Marvellous Mothers

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Money Saving Year

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Most of us will have overspent at Christmas and are now feeling the pinch. We look at ways to save money or make it go further in Money Sa ving Year.

Perhaps you’re cash rich but time poor in which case you definitely need to read our Top Parenting Time Saving Hacks! If you and the rest of your family have eaten one too many chocolates over the festive period, make yourselves feel a bit better by trying out our Healthy Lunchbox Ideas or ways of Keeping Active with the Kids.

Fundraise February: Little Troopers

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Keeping Active with The Kids

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I’m Holding out for a Hero

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Style and Substance: New Mummy Gifts

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You’ve got to be in it to win it! In this issue our lucky readers have the chance to win some fabulous books courtesy of Pavilion as well as tickets to see tributes to both Buddy Holly and the Bee Gees.

The Marine Wife and Mum

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Style and Substance: Mummy Must-have

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We catch up with Little Troopers, Forces C hildren’s Trust and Scotty’s Little Soldiers and hope we can continue supporting these amazing charities during 2018.

Placentophagy - Miracle or Myth?

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Keep Calm and Carry on... Parenting

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Why Preschoolers Lie

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Lunchbox Ideas

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Grab a cuppa and read our fascinating articles on Placentophagy, Why Preschoolers Lie and Having a Sibling in the Armed Forces.

Please continue to like and share our Facebook page and keep checking for competitions. If you would like to subscribe to Just for Families and receive a copy directly through your door each issue then please email us at JFF@ forcespublishing.co.uk.

For anyone who would like to contribute to the next issue the closing date for contributions is 22/03/18.

Make!

Books for your Little Readers

Giveaway!

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A to Z of Family Days Out

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Parenting Hacks

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Let Sleeping Teenagers Lie

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Businesses Come Together to Support

Until next time…

Enjoy!

Just For Families Military Mag *permission for images taken from our Facebook competition were received before going to print

On The Cover!

Image provided by the charity Little Troopers. Feb winners from the Military Moments 2018 calendar competition.

The calendars are on sale for £9.99 from www. littletroopers.net

The Children of the Fallen

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A Day in the Life of a Boarding School Student

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The Forces Children’s Trust

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Fall in Love with National Trust Places This Valentines Day

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Siblings in the Forces

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That’s Your Business

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You Win Again: Bee Gees

Win Tickets!

A Legend Reborn: Buddy Holly

Win Tickets!

58 59

Many thanks to Kate Saines, Rebecca Smith and Carly Stevens for their editorial contributions Supporters of

Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Tel: 01933 419994

www.forcespublishing.co.uk

Editorial: Joanna Barnes

Design: Hayley Geddes

Articles and photographs reproduced by kind permission of the contributors © No responsibility for the quality of goods or services advertised in this magazine can be accepted by the publishers or printers. Advertisements are included in good faith.

The MOD or any Service Establishment is not responsible for the advertiser or its advertised product or service.

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s r e h t o M

Marvellous

Near, far, wherever they are, our mums make the wo rld go round !

Here some o f our readers have shared their marvell ous mums with u s to celebrate Mo thers Day.

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M

oney Saving Year

Having a family is an expensive business. Follow our money-saving guide to 2018, however, and you could be celebrating a more prosperous New Year.

January Savvy Sales Shopping

Never, at any time in the year, do we feel more skint than in January. Wrung completely dry by the Christmas spend, riddled with guilt at our festive frivolity and counting the days to our next pay cheque what do we do…hit the sales. What else?

If you must go sales shopping make it worth your while. It’s a great time, for example, to buy out-of-season clothing for the kids.

Think ahead and buy clothes a few sizes too big – they may not fit now, but they might next summer.

Stock up on Christmas cards, wrapping, decorations and any other cut price festive fayre for next year. The same items will be back on the shelves in October at triple the price, so the savings will be worthwhile.

And whilst you are thinking ahead to next Christmas, why not open a savings account and set up a festive fund. Although savings rates are not exactly alluring at the moment, it’s a lot cheaper than the interest you will pay on a credit card!

Set up a direct debit to transfer a bit of cash each month to your Christmas fund.You will be surprised how much will build up over eleven months. Even if you can only afford £20 each time – that’s still £220 extra in the pot for December.

February Hooray for Holidays It’s cold out there. The winter has come and it’s not showing signs of going away.You start 8

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dreaming of summer and your thoughts turn to your family holiday.

Thanks to the price rises in the school holidays, breaks involving children always seem to come with astronomical price tags.

But there are several ways to reduce the cost of your vacation.

Try looking at alternative destinations.

Everyone flocks to the Costas in August, but research by M&S Bank has revealed there are many other cheaper resorts where you can still lap up the sun.

Paul Stokes, the bank’s head of products, said simply by visiting lesser-known resorts like Vigo in north-western Spain you can save as much as £1,000 on a family holiday.

In 2016 a week-long trip for a family of four to this destination was £984 less than the more popular retreat of Marbella.

Meanwhile, swapping glamorous Saint Tropez in the south of France for the less glitzy but more affordable Arles would save the same family £1,064.

Paul said: “Holiday prices may be on the up, but there are still savings to be had for families who are willing to consider alternative destinations instead of more wellknown tourist spots.”

That’s not all. Deleting cookies on your computer or laptop could also save you a packet.You see, when searching online for flights, accommodation and packages those sneaky cookies are clocking your habits.

And, each time you return to a deal you have

previously viewed, the price will go up. So either delete your cookies after each session or make the booking on another device.

Finally, you can save money on holidays through big tour operators like Eurocamp by booking through their European websites.

Deals are often cheaper if you go to the Irish, Dutch or German sites. Use Google Translate if your Deutsch is rusty!

March Spring clean and Sell Your Clutter There’s something about Spring and the arrival of a few glimmers of sunshine which sparks the urge to go on a cleaning spree.

If you are considering a declutter, why not see if you can make some money from your unwanted items?

Taking them to charity shops seems the easy route. But what about selling them at car boot sales or on auction sites such as eBay? Even better – see if you can find a Facebook selling group. Many people are embracing this new way of buying and selling because it has the added advantage over eBay of being completely free.

There might be a Facebook group on patch which does just this, so why not give it a go.

You might also pick up a few bargains too.

April Start Saving Keen to start saving money? Now is the time.

For April 6 is the start of a new tax year, which means you have until April 5 to use your ISA allowance.

If you are going to open a savings account of any kind, an ISA (Individual Savings Account) is the place to do so because it’s tax free!

This year you can save up to £20,000 into your ISA and you will not be taxed on the interest. This applies to cash and investment ISAs. If you are struggling to find a decent rate of interest for your cash ISA, consider putting your money into one which invests in stocks and shares. If you are nervous about putting all your savings into the markets, consider splitting your allowance between a cash and investment ISA. Crucially, remember you can switch accounts.

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So, if you have an old ISA from years ago in which money is stagnating on a low interest rate – you can transfer it to another more profitable product.

This is where price comparison websites can come in very handy. Kevin Mountford, head of banking at Moneysupermarket said: “It is vital that ISA savers check the current rates paid on their ISA and be prepared to switch.

“The majority of banks are not proactive when it comes to making sure you are on the best deal, so it pays to be on the ball and not let them get away with it.”

May Change Your Shopping Habits

using? Are you paying £60 for monthly exercise classes when going for a run is free?

Perhaps there is a cheaper TV provider to which you could switch? Could you take leftovers into work instead of buying that expensive M&S sandwich?

Challenge yourself to ditch one thing for one month and see how much difference it makes to your bank balance.

July Fit and Frugal Make the most of the weather and try – if possible – to walk instead of using the car.

Not only will this save you money on fuel, it will boost your fitness levels.

With holiday season approaching, you could create some extra spending money by revamping the way you shop.

With the lovely long days, greater chance of sunshine and holidays approaching it’s the perfect time to reduce your car usage.

A great place to start is with your food shopping. Make a list of family meals for the week and buy only what you need for each recipe - this will save you money and reduce waste.

Think about using public transport if your journey is a bit longer. If you have young children a bus trip or train journey can be an adventure or day trip in itself. And, you will save money on parking at the other end too!

Also, switch to cheaper brands, where possible.

You will often be eating the same item, made in the same factory using the same process – the only difference will be the packaging.

If you favour online grocery shopping, why not use a supermarket comparison site to find the cheapest deal on your basket?

Finally, if you don’t already, start embracing money off vouchers, cashback schemes and loyalty cards.

A survey by Gocompare.com found that these were the top money saving tactics favoured by thrifty consumers in 2017, with 48% of those surveyed citing money-off vouchers or coupons as their top money saving tip and 44% opting for cashback or loyalty schemes.

June

August Cheap Ways to Entertain the Kids It’s the school holidays! Hooray…. Well, hooray for about three days until the novelty wears off and your bank balance is drained.

But it needn’t be all bad. There are scores of activities which you can do to entertain the kids without the threat of bankruptcy hanging over you.

If you don’t have it already, consider getting National Trust or English Heritage membership. There are usually introductory deals available for those signing up for the first time. And while you might fork out as much as £80 for annual membership – you usually get your money’s worth after three visits, which are easy to clock up in the long six-week break.

Many venues offer free family and childfriendly activities over the summer holidays.

Trails, workshops and shows are among the spectacles which your little ones can get involved with.

Shop around for discount vouchers too.

Websites like Groupon or Vouchercodes have daily deals that could save you money on day trips, meals out or tickets.

And, don’t forget, sometimes the most seemingly monotonous activities – rolling down a hill, digging a hole in some sand or building a den can be terribly exciting for children. A trip to a local park, beach or forest costs nothing, especially if you pack a picnic.

September Switch to an Interest-only Credit Card If your post-holiday blues are worsened by the arrival of your credit card bill, it might be the time to look at a better deal.

Why not look at switching to an interestfree card – just make sure the deal applies to transfers as well as purchases.

Matt Saunders, credit card expert at Gocompare.com said: “Used carefully, credit cards can give you extra flexibility with your spending and help you manage your finances better.

“Smart credit card users can effectively borrow money for free as many credit cards provide an interest-free period of typically 56 days.”

Remember, though, that to avoid paying interest eventually, outstanding balances should be paid off on, or before, the final day of the interest free period. And the period is dependent on your billing date, not the date of purchases.

Obviously credit cards aren’t the answer to debt. If you are concerned about making repayments you should speak to your provider.

Mid Year Money Challenge Give your pot a mid-year boost by taking away one ‘luxury’ or unnecessary item of spending. It could be the daily cup of coffee you buy on the way to work or the school run, or the weekly takeaway. The £2.60 you spend on a latte adds up to nearly £57 a month and the £25 Chinese feast to £100.

Just think how much this could save in a year.

Do you have a gym membership you aren’t 9

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October

finished, you might face an exit fee. But, otherwise, compare away.

Switch Energy Suppliers It’s officially autumn. If you haven’t already turned on your heating and had several sessions of Thermostat War with your partner, it’ll only be a matter of time.

With this in mind, you might want to look at ways to reduce your fuel bill. Turning the thermostat down a notch can in fact make a dramatic difference to the cost. But so can switching supplier.

Energy price comparison service, UK Power, advises scouring the market for prices and deals on energy every six to nine months.

This is because, most energy tariffs are fixed for 12 to 18 months and, after this time, you will automatically default to the standard tariff, which is pretty much always also the provider’s most expensive package.

Keeping an eye on the market will ensure you are aware of the savings you could make when your deal runs out. But, equally, if you find a great tariff it could be worth switching straight away.

November Bag Deals, Shop Early As depressing as it sounds, now is the time the do your Christmas shopping. Events like Black Friday and Cyber Monday mean there are deals galore and you will be less likely to make ‘panic purchases’ since you will have time on your side.

Most stores make the Black Friday price cuts a few days before the event itself, so keep an eye on their websites or go shopping on the Wednesday or Thursday before.

Be cautious, however. Just because something has been reduced in price, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are getting a bargain.

Compare prices before you buy and make sure you only purchase goods you really need or think which you are certain would make a good present.

December Happy Christmas Firstly, don’t forget to dig out all those decorations, cards and other festive items you

Remember, if your current deal hasn’t yet

bought back in the January sales. Then go and check your Christmas savings account to see how much you have saved. Then give yourself a pat on the back for a being a finance whizz.

But after a year of being financially savvy, now is not the time to give up.

If you have a big family, why not suggest a Secret Santa? Buying one adult a really nice present they love is not only less expensive but is far more rewarding than buying every single family member a cheap item they don’t want.

If you are hosting Christmas dinner or another festive event for a large number of guests, why not suggest everyone brings a course or a dish each.

And, finally, don’t forget the sales start on Boxing Day… so get up early to bag the best bargains!

Happy New Year!

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Little Troopers is the small charity with a big heart.

The sole charity supporting all the children of our British Armed Forces, regardless of their home situations. Lots of resources and initiatives are provided to support through the various challenges military children face; be it deployment, moving home and school or the regular separations from one or both serving parents.

Little Troopers is a financially humble charity working tirelessly to do as much as possible with the little we have. With over 120,000 Little Troopers needing our support we’d love you to get involved in 2018 and help us to keep the Little Troopers charity alive.

Fundraise February Our annual fundraising month is February where we aim for people across the military community to come together and raise funds for Little Troopers & every single penny means so much. A cake sale, non-school uniform day, family day, gala dinner, quiz night, coffee morning‌the list is endless!

Head to www.littletroopers.net where you can download a fundraising pack and Fundraise February poster to help you. Good Luck and a huge thank you for getting involved.

Snowdon Trek Join us on 6th May 2018 to climb Snowdon in our bi-annual sponsored climb for Little Troopers using the Llanberis path. Military, civilian, young and old can take part, with a suggested minimum age of 7 years old for younger participants.

If you would like to register for the event and join in the bank holiday weekend of adventure for Little Troopers then head over to www. littletroopers.net where you can find out all the event information and forms to complete and send us. We can’t wait and hope to see you there!

You can follow Little Troopers on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

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Having children inevitably means a few lifestyle changes. No, we can’t just drop everything mid-week for an impromptu cinema trip & being up at 3am on Friday nights is now thanks to teething rather than tequila. Even just leaving the house has become a more complicated process than you could ever have imagined with an endless list of items, bags and buggies needed for someone so small. C’est la vie.

But does everything have to change? It’s hard enough to leave the house with a baby or toddler let alone keep up with our exercise regimes, but we’ve found the greatest products on the market that incorporate being mum with being active. From jogging to skiing, there’s no reason your little one can’t come along for the ride!

Yepp Maxi Rear Cycle Seat The Yepp Maxi bike seat is made from the same rubberlike material (EVA) that is used to make Crocs shoes (but is far more fashionable!) it is antibacterial, shock absorbent, water resistant and really easy to clean. These bike seats are designed for daily use all year round. There are no seat cushions to worry about

A

keeping dry from the elements, and the 5-point safety harness has a childproof buckle and soft shoulder pads to help avoid rubbing.

There are two height levels for the shoulder straps which allow the seat to grow with your child & there is a maximum weight limit of 22kg (50lbs).

The Yepp Maxi seat fits onto 95% of bike models, and is quick and easy to snap into place and also easy to detach.

Additional Yepp Maxi seat post adapters can be purchased to allow use on more than one bike, and there is also an integral anti-theft lock to give peace of mind when leaving your bike unattended. There are 3 rear reflectors for optimal safety when cycling at night time or in low light.Yepp also do another model,Yepp Mini which can be front mounted and is perfect for carrying more than one child at a time (maximum weight limit of 15kg).

ctive

Keeping

With The Kids

Out n About Nipper Sport v4 Pushchair

The Out n About Nipper Sport is one of the best buggies you can buy if jogging is your thing.

The fixed front wheel gives superb stability over rough terrain whilst jogging and the oversized 16” pneumatic tyres

give a smooth ride and make pushing easy and comfortable. Whilst the handlebar adjusts easily to suit the pusher, the brake lever (like a bike) gives you control of your speed which is particularly

useful on downhill slopes. The easy-lock foot pedal brake is activated once you have come to a stop using the red pedal. A retractable sun canopy with peeka-boo window, storage pockets on the hood for your mobile phone and other belongings

and an easy clean removable seat liner make this a very practical pushchair for your baby. They will be safe and comfortable with the 5 point padded harness and the belly bar is padded and hinged so it easily opens for seat access. It is lightweight thanks to its aluminium frame and is surprisingly compact when folded. The independent rear suspension helps make the ride smooth and comfortable even when off-roading, and the price is very reasonable too!

This pushchair is suitable from new born to approx. 4 years, with a weight limit of 22kg (50lbs) which far exceeds most pushchairs.

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Thule Sapling Elite Child Carrier Backpack There’s nothing better than getting out in the fresh air with your kids and exploring nature together, especially on long hikes.

The Thule Sapling Elite gives your child the best view along with a comfortable and secure ride. It’s comfortable for the parent too, with smart features and resilient

materials. The back panel and hip belt are also quick and easy to adjust so you can walk great distances and comfortably share the load between parents without losing your rhythm.

The Thule Sapling Elite features a mirror to help you monitor your precious cargo, a deployable sunshade to keep your child cool on sunny days and load stabiliser straps to allow on the go adjustments to the backpacks centre of gravity by pulling the child closer to the parent for a more comfortable carry. There is heaps of storage for all the things you would need on your hike, from water, clothes, rain gear and nappies thanks to mesh pockets, hydration reservoir sleeve, removable backpack and a large zippered compartment.

The breathable back panel allows air to circulate around your back, keeping you cool, and padding and support is provided at critical contact points. Removable stirrups are included to let your little one rest their legs and readjust themselves throughout your adventures.

Thule Chariot Cross The Thule Chariot Cross 2 is the new generation of lightweight, premium, multifunctional child carriers.

Not just for attaching to bikes, the Thule Chariot Cross 2 is designed to excel whether you are cycling, jogging, strolling or even skiing. With leaf spring suspension for a smooth ride and 2 comfortable, padded reclining seats you can be happy knowing your kids are cosy in the back. It features a convenient on-board storage system for strolling, jogging or cycling kit and the Thule VersaWing system ensures swift and easy conversion between activities. The flat price includes a bicycle trailer kit and strolling kit as standard, but the skiing kit can be purchased for

an extra ÂŁ270. When used as a stroller, the handle is adjustable to be comfortable for parents of any height, and the trailer can be folded down surprisingly compactly for storage or transportation just like any other stroller. In fact, all the wheels can be removed independently for a flatter fold. The enclosed trailer comes with a rain cover built in and uses mesh panelling to ensure quality airflow on your journey. A brake lock at the rear keeps the chariot safely stopped when used. A sleep shade is included to be attached to the front as required, it clips into place on the frame and blocks out sunlight for a peaceful place to sleep. The front mesh panel can be zipped up and tucked away if your little one wants to be out in the open. The price is steep, but for active parents there really is no better available on the market.

The Thule Chariot Cross 2 comes with a 10 year warranty.

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‘ Holding Out For A I’m So far as a family, post baby, we’ve managed to escape the dreaded deployment and the trauma that brings. However, I know, you know, it’s inevitable.

As adults it’s hard enough to get through, there will be tears, missed memories pining and frustration. Trying to process all of that as children, without the vocabulary or maturity to understand why feelings such as anger, insecurity or simply the effect change in itself brings, must be ten times as difficult.

I’m not afraid to admit that having to deal with this, to offer comfort, distraction, and benevolence scares me. I worry about whether I will be capable, of maintaining good cop versus bad, of keeping my son happy minus Daddy. 1Studies have shown that the at-home parent is a key factor affecting forces children’s distress, parents reporting clinically significant stress are more likely to have children identified as ‘high risk’ for psychological and behavioral problems. No pressure then huh. However, I stumbled upon a rather wonderful ray of sunlight to break through the grey clouds of impending deployment darkness. Huggable Heroes.

weddings, to Brownies, to bed for story time and cuddles. The relief and comfort this brings to Forces children is evident from the feedback Huggable Heroes has gotten “it makes sleeping for my boy so much easier”, “a great comfort”, “I have one happy toddler”. As a writer, with words being my measure, I can’t sum it up any better than the happy customer Tara “thank you so much for making my children feel closer to their Daddy while he’s away”.

Having a parent in the Armed Forces means, unquestionably, that our children will be

Hero separated, sometimes at great length, from one half of their pillars of stability, love and normality. While one parent can never, despite our best efforts, make up for the missing other half (the good cop to my bad), having your very own squishy Daddy can certainly help fill

that gap. Daddy may be away but he’s not forgotten, he can still be there for all the big events, and let’s face it, getting a reading certificate in assembly is a big event to a child. But, most importantly, he’s still there. He’s there for cuddles. He’ll be there for my son.

For more information please visit www.huggableheroes.co.uk

Huggable Heroes is a family, award winning, business, started by Forces wife Jo, to “reinforce” the bonds between parent and child and to “reduce separation anxiety”. As the best ideas normally are, the premise is simple; send your photo into Jo and she will make you a cuddly-toy Daddy (or Mummy). Where real Daddy (or Mum) can’t make it, Cuddly Daddy can go; to the first day of school, to football matches, to

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w w w. s t y l e a n d s u b s t a n c e . u k

STYLE & SUBSTANCE NEW MUMMY GIFTS Stuck for what to get your friend/relative who’s just had a baby? You’re not alone, in all honesty, until I had Daisy, I was just as clueless and I would have more than likely bought the failsafe - flowers. The reason for this post came about because I’ve recently had quite a lot of friends ask me for suggestions on what to buy their new mummy friends before or after their baby arrives. While it is lovely to go wild in the baby department of any shop, they want to spoil their friend/ relative as well so that she doesn’t feel overlooked.

For me there were two gifts that stand out by a mile when I think back to the early Daisy days - the first was a really simple but super comfy loungewear set that were 16

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as loose as pjs but ok to be seen in after 11am everyday when getting dressed was an achievement and the door may as well have been revolving with all the visitors. I was one of the naive ones that had no clue I would leave hospital looking nearly as pregnant as I had gone in and was very much over my maternity clothing by then so the two-piece was perfect. The second was a hamper of all the ‘off limits’ food and drinks that I wasn’t allowed during pregnancy my brother cleverly curated for me. It was largely in part made up of every gooey or blue cheese I had greatly missed but also included tea (rationing myself to only two cups a day nearly killed me) and gin, which I enjoyed at a later date. Having just about survived Christmas heavily pregnant but fed up I think I had made my desire for these forbidden foods well known... Suffice to say I was giddy when I opened the package.

It doesn’t have to be huge a outlandish gift, think laterally, she’s been through quite the journey over the past nine months so it will be the simple gestures that will make a world of difference. Something to make those early blurry days a bit more comfortable, make her feel more human and somewhat back to how she felt before this rollercoaster began will definitely be well received - however I would advise against buying your new mummy friend leather trousers a la Phoebe in Friends style (although I’m sure there are some women who would be elated to receive leather trousers after giving birth!). And don’t be alarmed if you get tears in the extremely hormonal days that follow childbirth, I know I was certainly an emotional mess whenever we had visitors!

So if you are stuck on what to get her I thought I would put together a little selection of suggestions that I hope will make your shopping trip easier...

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1 Loungewear – comfort is key when you’ve just given birth.

Whether she’s had a c-section or given birth naturally most new mummies will most probably not want anything tight or lightcoloured going near their body for the foreseeable. £34 top, £35 bottoms Freya at Figleaves.

2 Name Necklace – the baby’s name, her name or simply mummy – a personalised piece is always a good idea. £55, Anna Lou Of London.

sarah@babybundlesredditch.co.uk | Sarah Birnie | 07894020460

Personalised baby gifts to suit any budget - for something a little bit more special.

3 Lipstick – sleep-deprivation and no time to do anything make for a less than glam look.

It’s commonly known fact that a quick sweep of colour on your lips gives the illusion you are awake in an instant. Simple but effective. £27,Yves Saint Laurent at House of Fraser.

4 Pyjamas – for the same reason as loungewear but also because if she’s anything like me she will want to wear anything that’s not maternity wear! £49, Laze.

5 Chocolate – a box of the sweet stuff will keep her going at times of pure exhaustion and with bars called Breakfast Buffet and Spoon of Cereal you can be totally justified eating chocolate for breakfast. £3.75, Creightons.

6 Sunglasses – come rain or shine for covering the bags and when there’s no time to put on make up, sunglasses will be her new best friend. £14, River Island 7 Slippers – for those first few weeks when getting out is an achievement enjoy lazing in style – I lived in mine! £60, Just Sheepskin.

8 Coffee – who doesn’t want to receive a gift box called Coffee Rocks? A new mum survival must-have. £36.99 www.rockboxrocks.co.uk.

9 Sweatshirt – a mummy uniform key piece, comfy, warm, easy to breastfeed in and stylish too. £60, Selfish Mother.

10 Pamper set – excessive handwashing and hospital heating will leave her dried out so help her to feel human again with this kit. £19.99, Burts Bees.

Do you want to: • Look younger, healthier and fitter?

• Feel more confident?

• Make clothes shopping easier?

• Save money and have a more co-ordinated wardrobe?

Having a colour or make-up party is a great idea to bring together friends or family for some fun, whilst having an introduction to the Colour Me Beautiful experience. As well as the exciting discovery of your best colours you will learn lots too. This style of party is perfect for hen nights, local groups and clubs, or just as an excuse to get together..

Your clothes should work in harmony and balance with the colouring of your skin, hair and eyes. Once you understand the right colours and styles for you, you will buy only what suits you! If you are interested in a one to one colour or style consultation, please log onto my website and read more about what to expect.

Tory Tattersall | mob: 07900 935455 email: tory@transformwithcolour.co.uk | www.transformwithcolour.co.uk

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CONTRIBUTION

Blog of Royal Marine’s wife attracts thousands thanks to honest birth story…

The M arine Wife and Mum A Royal Marine’s wife is reaching thousands with her honest blog about pregnancy, being a military spouse and the difficulty of the first weeks postpartum.

Faye Copp, from Whitley Bay, Tyne and Wear was encouraged to start the blog, The Marine Wife and Mum, from family members and was also inspired by other mum bloggers.

The 32-year-old uses humour and honesty in her posts and after the birth of her son, Rafe Owen, with husband Chris, on October 6th, almost eight thousand people have read her birth story.

The former journalist had planned a relaxing water birth but after the baby’s

heart rate dropped - she was rushed to hospital.

In her account of her birth story, she describes the pain of childbirth: “I really wanted to be that person you see on One Born Every Minute who makes no sound but that didn’t happen. I wasn’t screaming but I was making a groaning noise loud enough for most of Scotland to hear. If I could describe the pain it would be....you know in Indian Jones Raiders of the Lost Arc and Harrison Ford is getting chased by that giant bolder? Well imagine feeling

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©Nigel John - www.nigeljohn.com

©David McIntosh - www.davidmcintoshstudios.com

like you are trying to push that out of your bum - and then someone is squeezing your stomach together as hard as they can.Yeah - it’s fun.”

the hell you are doing....but then he makes a little gurgling sound when he’s feeding and then all is right in the world. Then the cycle repeats itself...”

The mum-of-one says she is overwhelmed by the response to her blog: “To start with it was more therapeutic to put what I was feeling into words. What it’s like to be a Royal Marine wife - pregnant, and now In a follow up post, Faye talks about the first with a three-month old baby,” she said. “But I have been overwhelmed by the responses few weeks after labour, detailing the fear from people who of the first poo, have shared their the struggle of own experiences breastfeeding and and also thanked her post-labour me for being body, which so honest. I she describes as was particularly looking like a nervous about ‘bag of sand’. posting the photo She also shares of me after labour a photo of but I think it’s herself nine days’ important to be postpartum. as honest and open as you can She writes: as there’s nothing “To say labour worse than was tough is an seeing Instagram understatement “The former journalist had planned a relaxing photos of women but nothing can water birth but after the baby’s heart rate looking amazing quite prepare you who have just for after labour. dropped - she was rushed to hospital…” given birth - it’s The exhaustion, not real. Well for me it isn’t!” the blood, the hormones, the tears at two in the morning when your baby won’t Faye hopes to carry on sharing her latch on, that first poo (yours and baby), the experiences - and wants to put together a aches, the pain in your vagina, exhaustion, collection of birth stories of other women becoming a milking machine, your postto help prepare - not scare, women who are birth body, the overwhelming feeling that about to give birth. you are failing and you have no idea what People from across the world have reached out to share their own experiences and thank Faye, who lives in Arbroath, Scotland, for her honesty.

©Nigel John - www.nigeljohn.com

To read the blog, go to: http://www.themarinewifeandmum.com/blog 19

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STYLE & SUBSTANCE MUMMY MUST-HAVE: THE BABASAC SLEEPING BAG cannot come off and would keep Daisy snug throughout the night - solving all our problems as far as I was concerned.

However, as she nears closer to getting her own ‘big bed’ Mr S&S was flying the flag for the duvet team.

That’s when I found the Babasac. It caters for babies and toddlers up to 36 months and here’s the best part, it has removable layers to alter the tog rating. So the 2 in 1 sleeping sack saves you buying two, one for summer and one for winter as it caters for both - genius! And if your baby/toddler is too hot you can simply unzip the layer to take it from a 2.5 tog grow bag to a 1 tog in a flash.

In all my years working in fashion the term ‘hero-item’ was bandied around a lot for good reason. Be it a leopard print shoe, a breton or a classic black blazer they were all heroes in their own right. Much in the same way but taking the word to a whole other level I’ve learned during my short time as a parent that every so often I’ve also stumbled upon a hero product that makes my life that little bit easier which has lead me to wonder how I EVER got along without it. It began with Ewan the Dream Sheep (who is still going strong) and now after a fortuitous evening searching the internet I’ve discovered the Babasac...

Recently after weeks of sleepless nights and not an answer or finish line in sight,

desperation started to set in and all (I mean all) talk recently turned to sleep, or lack thereof, in our household (we used to talk about cool stuff for the record).

Every night we were woken up with a screaming toddler who would only settle in our bed - which was less than ideal.

Given how well Daisy usually sleeps this had left us flummoxed - not to mention exhausted. Initially we put it down to the classic reasons, nightmares, teething, perhaps a developmental spurt but none of these things seem to be the answer. Finally whittling it down it occurred to me that maybe she was cold.

Not only is it clever, it’s stylish too. Having written off so many before now for being too fussy or ugly the monochrome pineapple print instantly appealed to my classic colour preferences (there are also grey clouds, navy stars and pink heart styles available).

We were very lucky to be given one to try and I’m happy (elated, ecstatic, thrilled and well rested of course) to report that

The reason being Daisy is a wriggler (much like most toddlers) and it was my belief that she was waking up in the night because the blanket had fallen off and she was chilly. So the question was, go back to a sleeping bag or test out a duvet?

I was very much in favour of a sleeping bag and inwardly my biggest reason was most likely my reluctance to admit she’s growing up and not a baby anymore. That aside, I love growbags for the fact they

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one week in and Daisy is sleeping like a proverbial baby again and it’s all down to the Babasac. Every night she’s warm, there’s no risk of it coming off and although my husband didn’t take losing very well he’s happy, as am I, to be sleeping again without an extra wriggly person joining us every night.

Available from www.mamadesigns.co.uk for £39.99

The Babasac was the brainchild of Keira who started her site Mama Designs with the Mamascarf, a clever scarf for breastfeeding mummies that can be worn as an accessory while also covering you and the baby during feeds too. All her creations have been born from experience, the idea of the two

tog Babasac was spurned when Keira was buying an extra sleeping bag for holiday.

Everything is functional and practical but not at the cost of style, quite the opposite in fact. The bright cellular blankets are a great

alternative to classic white and the snoodie is possibly the ultimate in dribbling chic.

Given how successful the Babasac has been for us I’m disappointed I didn’t discover this brand sooner...

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Television House, 269 Field End Road, Eastcote, Middlesex HA4 9XA

“Helping you, your business and your family” We offer advice and assistance across a range of areas; including in particular, matrimonial and family problems; the purchase and sale of residential and commercial property; Wills and Probate/Estate administration.

FREE monthly surgery on base on the 10th January 2018, 7th February 2018, 7th March 2018 and 4th April 2018 Contact Edlynn Zakers on 020 8842 2437 to book up an appointment with one of our experienced and friendly solicitors for an initial FREE meeting.

CONTACT US ON: 020-8423-6666/1616 EMAIL US AT: admin@cameronsjones.co.uk

WHY NOT VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT - www.cameronsjones.co.uk

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Placentophagy Placentophagy, the act of consuming one’s own placenta, has become more popular over the last few years and I had heard mostly positive things.

The idea of eating a human organ may trigger a gag reflex in some, but advocates point out that for mammals it is the norm.

While the exact reasons animals eat their own placentas is not known, scientists speculate one major reason may be to avoid having a bloody enticement to predators near to the vulnerable new mother and baby. Unlike the modern practice of eating a placenta in dehydrated pill form over a length of time or cooking it for later consumption, animals eat their placentas raw and immediately after giving birth.

Animals may have been doing it before it was cool, but for humans the practice is relatively new, only really documented in western culture from around the 1960’s, and in recent years celebrities such as January Jones and the Kardashians have put placentophagy into the spotlight.

The placenta is the organ that grows alongside and is attached to the baby in the womb providing all the nutrients, oxygen and blood supply that the baby needs to thrive and grow. Other advocates of placentophagy claim that it helps with bonding, as the placenta contains different hormones that promote this such as oxytocin, which also stimulates breast milk production. Dried placenta is used in some traditional Chinese medicine and is thought to be a restorative. It is a practice with no anthropological precedent, promoted only by mothers swearing by its health benefits despite a scarcity of research.

When talking to people about my experience of consuming my own or when I was making the decision to do so I have been labelled a weirdo (which is nothing new!) and even been 22

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Miracle or Myth?

It was a bright sunny day at the beginning of July, me and my husband walked out of the hospital carrying my bag, our new-born daughter – and a doggy bag. Nestled inside two bright yellow hospital-issued bags that bore the words ‘Contaminated Waste’ in big bold black letters and biohazard symbols lay my placenta, and I planned to eat it. called a cannibal by one person.

My take on it is that it’s your own personal choice, it’s not hurting anyone or anything, in fact it’s the only meat that is born from life and not from the death of another creature which, really, is quite beautiful. For me personally it made perfect sense to give it a go. At the end of the day, I figured at the very worst, nothing would be lost from trying it.

This was our third baby, a little girl who we named Clementine.

After she was born we waited for the cord to stop pulsating and clamped it. I opted for a natural third stage of labour so we had to wait a little longer for the placenta to be delivered but when it was we politely requested to the midwife that we be allowed to take it home.

She wasn’t shocked, unlike most people I’d told my plans to, and said of course. I had originally planned a home birth but due to a late diagnosis of gestational diabetes we opted last minute to have a hospital birth. Clementine needed to be monitored for 24 hours after the birth due to the diabetes, and the midwife offered to bag up the placenta and put it in the freezer in the hospital until we were ready to be discharged. This, I’ve learned since, was actually quite lucky as most hospitals will not store it for you and it will need to be transferred back to your home

by your partner in a cool bag or picked up by someone within a few hours to be prepared, frozen or stored in the fridge. I was grateful that they stored it for me as if not it would have meant my husband having to leave us within the first couple of hours to take it home.

I had decided quite early on in my pregnancy that I wanted to consume my placenta. After my previous two children were born, two boys who are now 7 and 2, I suffered with post-natal depression and on one of my desperate google searches of ways to avoid feeling that way again this time around, I came across placenta encapsulation.

Along with preventing PND it is said to help boost milk supply (something else I have struggled with in the past), increase energy, replenish nutrients that were lost during pregnancy and birth and reduce blood loss after the birth. My initial reaction to hearing about women eating their placenta was to pull a face and think ‘EW!’, but on further research I found myself intrigued. I read accounts from many women who claimed it worked wonders for them. On the flip side, I also read about women who had tried it and found nothing happen at all. One woman wrote of how it actually made her feel worse, and when she stopped taking her placenta

pills she felt immediately better, but on the whole women who had tried and tested it seemed to speak very highly of their experiences.

There is no real wrong way to eat your placenta. For the very brave and strong stomached, you can chop it up raw and swallow it like you would an oyster immediately after the birth. Another way to consume it raw, which is said to provide the most nutrients and have the highest benefit, is in a smoothie with berries, ginger and other superfoods. Some women soak a chunk in alcohol to create a tincture. For others, they like to slice it, dice it, fry it up or stew it, but for most, the most palatable and far less squeamish option is to have it washed, dried, ground up and encapsulated into placenta pills.

I chose the latter option for mine. Although not particularly squeamish, I couldn’t quite bring myself to go for the raw option and didn’t fancy cooking it up in a stew. The next step was to look into how to encapsulate it. I found lots of women, most of them doulas, independent midwives or women part of the Independent Placenta Encapsulation Network, who for a fee would come collect the placenta from the hospital on the day of the birth, take it back to their home and prepare it for me before popping the finished pills into the post for them to be delivered to my door within a few days. I was tempted by this option but the price tag was offputting. It costs £150 upwards to have your placenta encapsulated by someone else. I decided that if I was going to do it, I’d go the whole hog and I’d do it myself.

I had to sign a Placenta Release Form before I was given my placenta back to take home.

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Most hospitals require you do this, to make sure you are aware of the infection risks and how to keep them at a minimum.

A common misconception is that hospitals won’t ‘allow’ you to take it home but this isn’t true.You created it, you birthed it, by rights it belongs to you.

The only exceptions to this are if your placenta has needed testing in a lab for any reason, as it is more likely that it will be contaminated with bacteria or if you have a blood infection such as HIV. In these cases you wouldn’t be allowed to take it home.

Two days after we came home and the frozen placenta had thawed out thoroughly in my fridge I began the process. I started by sterilising the kitchen sink thoroughly using boiling water and then sterilising tablets.

After that I tipped out the placenta into the empty sink and began to wash it. This was probably the most ‘gruesome’ part. It took quite a while, and my sink looked like a scene from a horror movie as you have to squeeze and massage the placenta to remove all the blood. It’s important to get rid of all the blood and clots before going onto the next stage which is to remove the umbilical cord and membranes. The placenta has two sides to it, the ‘maternal’ side, the side which was attached to the womb, and the ‘fetal’ side, which is where the cord comes from and attaches to the baby.

When you look past the blood and the gore, placentas really are fascinating. I actually felt quite emotional holding it and looking at it, thinking about how this big wobbly strange looking thing had successfully sustained and grown our beautiful baby. Some women like to make a placenta print before they remove the membranes and umbilical cord.

The placenta is often referred to as “The Tree Of Life”, and looking at it you can see why.

The umbilical cord makes up the trunk of the tree and the veins on the ‘fetal’ side look like branches. To make a placenta print you can paint the fetal

side with food dye and lay it on some thick artist’s paper as a keepsake. I didn’t do this. I took lots of pictures of it, but having a print just wasn’t important to me. Some women also like to curl up the umbilical cord into a heart shape or a coil and dry it out to keep but again this wasn’t something I felt the need to do.

I did take a picture of the cord in a heart shape but we disposed of the cord afterwards. When it had been thoroughly washed and the umbilical cord removed, I cut it up into strips and steamed it. The smell wasn’t as bad as I expected. From what I’d read I’d been warned that it can be quite pungent, and that women tend to tolerate the smell better than men. Some people use herbs, spices and fruit to steam the placenta with, such as ginger, lemon and jalapeno. This isn’t to make the smell better but is said to have different health benefits.

I opted to just steam it on its own. Steaming it tends to yield less capsules than if you were to just wash, cut and dehydrate it without steaming due to it shrinking, however steaming the placenta thoroughly kills any possible bacteria that may have been on it and is generally seen as the safer option. We had all our downstairs windows and doors open whilst it steamed and I can’t say me or my husband were really bothered by the smell. When it was done I placed it on a baking tray to dehydrate

in the oven for 8-12 hours on 60C heat. It took around 12 hours and in the end it looked a lot like beef jerky (although I didn’t taste any so can’t comment on whether it tastes the same!).

We popped it into an old coffee grinder that we’ve had for years but never use to grind it up (the grinder has now been thrown away!) but some people like to grind it by hand using a pestle and mortar, although I would imagine this would take ages. Towards the end of my pregnancy I had ordered some size 00 clear capsules and after the placenta had been ground to a fine powder my husband very kindly spent the best part of an hour filling them up for me. We ended up with just under 200, which I’m told is quite a lot!

Most people get around 80-100 tablets. Some women actually store some of the ground up placenta in the freezer for use during the menopause, as it is also said to help through that time too.

It was day 4 post-partum when I started taking them. There is no real ‘recommended’ dosage and it’s not possible to overdose on them so I went with 3 a day.

The baby blues had began to hit me by day 4. With both of my boys when the blues came they never really went away completely and seemed to lead into post-natal depression. At the time of writing this, Clementine

is now almost 9 weeks old and I’m feeling pretty good. I haven’t felt half as low as I did with the boys, I’ve not been as tired as I expected to be (especially with having two other children to look after and it being the school holidays!), my blood loss stopped within two weeks of me taking the placenta pills unlike with my boys where it lasted for over 6 and my milk supply has been more than abundant this time which is definitely something I struggled with with the other two. I can’t say for sure that consuming my placenta is the reason for all these things, and I think I remain slightly on the fence as to whether it really is as ‘magical’ as it’s made out to be but I’m really glad I gave it a go. Some women say they feel immediately different after taking the pills and can tell if they miss a dose. One person I know nicknamed them her ‘happy pills’ and said she felt extremely low when not taking them but picked up as soon as she had another one. It hasn’t been like that for me, I have felt better on the whole this time around and I have definitely seen a difference in my blood loss and milk supply but whether that has been directly related to taking them? I can’t really say.

All I do know is that compared to how I felt post-partum with my other two children it has been a lot easier. I like to think that consuming my placenta has helped, and I definitely think more research should be done into the science behind the benefits and risks. Many people have mentioned that the benefits – like feeling happier, calmer, bonding better with baby and having more energy could just be placebo. But even if they are, does it really matter? As long as they are positive experiences, who cares if it’s really because of the potency of the pills or just because you believe they will work. The verdict on the practice may officially still be out but my advice for anyone interested in trying it would be to go for it!

But be sensible, take advice and do your research first!

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Keep Calm and Carry on...

Parenting Parenting isn’t always easy – even less so when your partner is deployed and you’re on your own. Trying to remain calm when a toddler has a melt-down in the supermarket or a teenager, storms out slamming the door, tests even the calmest of parents.

At times, our house was more like a battleground than a home.

With my husband away, it was just me, two children and a swirling pool of emotions.Yoyoing between blissful harmony to utter chaos one minute to the next, I felt exhausted, wondering where I was going wrong.

That’s when I came across the Netmums Parenting Course.

Developed from the ‘Nurturing Programme’ by Family Links, the course is free to sign up to and designed to fit easily around daily life. Divided into three parts, with bite-size chunks delivered into your inbox, taking five to ten minutes to read over a cup of calming chamomile tea. With the option to pop into the course forum to compare parenting notes, it turned out to be just what I needed.

When parenting gets tough, it seems like everyone around you 26

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is doing a better job than you.

The Parenting Course is like a friend giving you a big hug, reassuring you that no parent is perfect and you can only do your best.

Part 1 deals with praise, kindness, discipline and keeping calm. I’ve discovered that praise really is the power tool of parenting. We all feel good when we’re praised, not just for the things we do but for being the person we are. The course encourages praising everyone in the family, including ourselves.

And once you start praising your family more, you may find they start doing the same to you.

There are videos to explain points further and suggested tasks to practice what you’ve learnt. One task was to make a Kindness Chart which the whole family could add to when someone did something kind or helpful. I used a big

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“It suggests saying more ‘Do’s’ instead: ‘Do tidy your clothes up,’ rather than, ‘Don’t leave your clothes on the floor.’

This makes children feel more capable and likely to repeat the action.” piece of black paper and some star stickers to make a night sky – the motivation to make the sky as starry as possible had my children falling over themselves to clear the table!

During deployments, it’s easy to feel the burden of a million and one things to do, so it’s inevitable we try to multitask: cooking dinner, making a phone call and listening to our children all at the same time!

Sound familiar? When we’re busy, spending time with our children can get pushed down the To Do List, but listening to them and playing with them really helps with behaviour.

A few minutes of our full attention can save hours of whining, leaving more time to get on with those jobs.

If there is plenty of Time In, then Time Out is more effective when everyone needs a break to calm down.

Time Out in our house used to end up as a stressful battle of wills but the course explains how to keep it a positive experience for all concerned.

If you are sometimes daunted by how to do what the course is advising you, don’t worry, it gives you easy step-by-step

formulas on how to achieve a desired result.

Part 2 deals with boundaries, positive discipline and selfesteem.You’re encouraged to sit down and agree a set of family rules with a reward for doing each one. These rules apply to grown-ups too!

Our Family Rules: • Look and listen when someone is talking to you • Put your coat, shoes etc. away when you come in • Stay at the table until everyone has finished their meal • Stick to time limits on screentime • Leave your room tidy in the morning I had lots of ‘Ah’ moments reading through the course.

Like when it gets you to think how often you say ‘don’t’ to you child. Quite a lot in my case. It suggests saying more ‘Do’s’ instead: ‘Do tidy your clothes up,’ rather than, ‘Don’t leave your clothes on the floor.’

This makes children feel more capable and likely to repeat the action.

The course gets you to focus on the needs behind behaviours.

If needs are met, you can then

ignore the behaviour you don’t want and pay more attention to the behaviour you do want. At first, I found it hard ignoring things I would usually pick up on, but gradually the annoying behaviours started to disappear along with the frazzled mummy!

I realised I was giving my children fewer choices during deployments to maintain some sort of control. But giving children more responsibility can be a positive thing, it takes the pressure off you and adds to their personal power and independence. For Forces children, this independence helps them cope with long deployments and moving around.

Part 3 deals with feelings, nurture and labels. If we acknowledge the feelings which trigger a behaviour and help children understand these, we can help them learn how to manage them and express them in a more helpful way. There are no ‘bad’ feelings, all feelings are valid and it is important for our emotional health to acknowledge them.

We all know, we’re most likely to lose it with our children when we’re stressed and

exhausted. Nurturing and looking after yourself is one of the first steps of good parenting.

In order to keep giving out our love, care and attention we need to nurture ourselves. So, go on, book that massage you’ve been wanting or that girls’ weekend you’ve been talking about! The course suggests the SPICES rule for meeting our own needs:

S - Social P - Physical I - Intellectual C - Creative E - Emotional S - Spiritual Doing this course has made a big difference to how I feel as a parent. At a time when I felt like I was backed into a corner, it gave me the tools to look at problems and challenges in a different way. I am more self-aware about my own feelings and how to manage them - skills I can pass on to my children. I’ve become a better negotiator - rather than fighting my kids, we’re working together to solve problems. This has increased our respect for each other and it is much better for my blood pressure too!

Some of my Parenting Tools: Praise

Personal Power

Listening

Nurturing

Rewards

Consistency

Choices and Consequences

Meeting Needs

Negotiating

Giving Responsibility

Family Rules

Having Fun

But the best thing about doing this course is it stopped me focusing on the things I thought I was doing wrong, and made me look instead at all the things I was doing right. Instead of giving myself a hard time, I’ve given myself a well-earned pat on the back instead.

Further information: ww.familylinks.org.uk https://www.netmums.com/support/netmums-parenting-course ‘The Parenting Puzzle’ book, available from Family Links 27

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L

Why

ie

Preschoolers

It can be difficult when you catch your pre-schooler weaving a tale or denying something you know they’ve done, but don’t worry or think you’ve done something wrong in raising them. It’s perfectly normal for kids this age to lie and the chances are that your child isn’t purposefully trying to deceive you.

At this age, the line between fantasy and reality is still a bit fuzzy.Very young children’s fibs more likely stem from forgetfulness, as pre-schoolers have short memories. If your child upsets another by taking a toy from them at nursery and then you ask them about it later and they deny all knowledge, it’s likely they don’t actually remember taking the toy at all rather than that they do and are trying to pull the wool over your eyes to avoid getting into trouble.

Another reason children of this age lie is from wishful thinking. If your toddler breaks something and then firmly declares it never happened, it may be that they wish they didn’t do it so much that

they’ve convinced themselves they had nothing to do with the incident at all.

For children who lie about places they’ve been, people they’ve met or events that never happened with full conviction, this is where the blurred reality comes in. Many parents worry that their child has a problem with lying when the lies seem pointless. It’s understandable that a child would lie to stay up later or to have an extra piece of cake or chocolate, but when they lie just for kicks it can be quite unsettling. Pre-schoolers have incredible imaginations and it may be that your child just hasn’t figured out that what goes on in her head isn’t actually real and that it isn’t the

same as a memory of something she’s actually done. This type of lying can actually be a good thing, believe it or not. Toddlers with higher IQ scores are far more likely to lie in this way and early lying proficiency could be linked with good social skills in adolescence.

find crayons all over the carpet, think about the words you use when confronting your child about it. Aim to encourage confession rather than denial; “I wonder how all these crayons got on the carpet? It would be nice if somebody helped me to pick them up.”

For some kids, lying is a way to get attention.Your preschooler may have figured out that spinning a tale is a sure fire way of getting a response from you, even if it’s a negative response. This type of lying is called ‘exploratory lying’ and may continue if you carry on giving them the attention they want from it. Lying can also be a way for your toddler to make themselves feel good. Lying that they accomplished something that they didn’t really may mean they are looking for approval from you rather than consciously fibbing.

It’s important to be sympathetic and stay calm when lies happen.

It’s easy to understand why your pre-schooler wants to deny she had anything to do with her juice being spilled all over your new rug and why she wouldn’t want to confess to it. Explain to her why honesty is important, and why wishing the spill away won’t work, and that it’s better to admit to her wrongdoing and help make it better by cleaning it up. If she wasn’t supposed to be drinking juice near the rug in the first place, be gentle in pointing out that she was doing something wrong and if she admits to what she did then praise her for her honesty.

Don’t respond to a confession by venting your anger at your child, as cross as you may be, they will be less likely to be truthful again if they think you will get angry at them for it. An angry accusation from you is more likely to be met with a lie. Soon your child will learn that telling the truth is less panful than telling a lie.

Sometimes the best way to deal with these lies is to humour your child. Of course, we don’t want to encourage lying, and not all lies kids tell are trivial incidents that can be brushed off, but knowing that some of these lies are very normal for certain ages can help. Instead of accusing and berating your child for lying, nurture their instincts to be truthful instead. A two year old who has just pulled the cats tail and then blames it on their imaginary friend is likely not going to understand or take much in if you sit them down to explain why they shouldn’t do that. A simple “Remember to be gentle, the cat has feelings too” is better than a punishment or telling off. If you walk into the living room to

Children don’t grasp the full moral implications of lying until around 5 or 6 years old. In the meantime, teach your child about honesty by reading stories that drive home the importance of telling the truth such as “The Boy Who Cried Wolf ” and “Sam, Bangs and Moonshine”.

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Lunchbox Find yourself putting the same things in your kids lunchboxes every day? Keep those little tummies happy with our lunchbox ideas below, cheaper than chips and tastier than a boring cheese sandwich!

Ideas

Energy Bites baking. and don’t require any These are super quick worth it, are s ult y be long but the res The ingredients list ma make a great d an ty tas with goodness, are ked pac are ls bal le these litt lunchbox snack! on-the-go breakfast or You will need: food processor) ts (chopped lightly in oa led rol ole 1 wh ps cu • 1 /2 cereal • 11/2 cups crispy rice unsweetened) conut (sweetened or • 1/2 cup shredded co • 1/4 cup chia seeds ound) 1 • /4 cup flax seed (gr t butter • 1/2 cup natural peanu nut oil • 1/4 cup virgin coco • 1/4 cup honey te chips 1 • /4 cup mini chocola

Lunchbox Kebabs A little like a sandwich , sans bread, these taste kebabs are easily chan ged to suit your kids tastes and healthy to boot!

You will need: • Deli meat, such as ha m or sliced turkey • Tomatoes • Cheese • Mini skewers Fold the meat and ske wer along with the ch eese and tomato. Wrap in tinfoil or pop in a Tupperware! These are so versatile, try using sliced egg, cucu mber and other meats!

until a small mixing bowl conut oil together in co d an y ne ho the r, ur tte po bu n Stir the peanut in a larger bowl and the your dry ingredients all balls sm rm Fo d. smooth. Combine all ine mb co til everything is un ix M er. e ov x mi r If peanut butte in a container. you’r of mixture and place s on po les tab Cauliflower o tw ns ly mi with rough ting it for 30 re to hold try refrigera xtu mi Ch the eese Nuggets get to in ng struggli away and stored can be eaten straight ese Th in. aga ing try and press all the Any chicken nugget o weeks.You can also fans out there?! Well the fridge for up to tw t into cu d these aren’t an tin ing ch ick bak en but we’ll bet your are squ a mixture into kids will love them jus ! pe sha t as much. ve These are tasty hot or squares as an alternati cold and are ideal as a lunchbox snack!

Polka Dot Pizza Dippers

ikes kid who disl rnative for a te al t ec n! rf fu pe d A ng an these are filli sandwiches, eed: You will n slices i • Pepperon to small balls in d rolle • Puff Pastry, • Butter ree • Tomato pu eese ch ar • Chedd slightly. Brush lls and flatten ba e tl lit to ry in ree on each Roll the past tle tomato pu lit a ad re sp d d pressing a with butter an ith cheese an w g lin nk ri for 10-15 one before sp ch one. Bake ea to on e ic brown. pepperoni sl until golden mins at 180C 32

Just for Families 8 17.indd 32

You will need: • 350g cauliflower • 50g fresh breadcrum bs • 100g grated cheddar cheese • 1 medium egg • 1/4 tsp garlic powder • 1/2 tsp mixed dried herbs Preheat your oven to 200C and line a baking tray with greaseproof the cauliflower up int paper. Chop o chunks and boil or steam it until it’s cook a food processor and ed . Put it into blitz until it is broken down into small pieces rest of the ingredients . Add the ad blitz again until all combined, don’t over Place one large spoon mix. of the mixture at a tim e onto the baking tra mould into a round sha y and pe, depending on the size of your nuggets it will make approximate ly 12 nuggets. Bake for 12-14 minutes or until golden brown . Allow them to cool for at least 5 minutes before serving.

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Fruity Butterflies Always looking for wa ys to make fruit and veg more appealing to ch ildren, these fruity bu tterflies will definitely put a smile on their faces!

• Fruit (red and green

You will need: grapes, blueberr ies an d satsuma segments work well) • Cellophane bag • An old peg • Pipe cleaner • Googly eyes

Fill your bags with fru it so there is enough room to bunch them in the middle to create wings and peg it secure.

Wrap the pipe cleaner around the top of the peg to create antenna and press on the googly eyes.

w Rainbo Wraps

Raspberry Jam Straws

So these might not be the healthiest treat on the list but we all need a sweet trea s r u t now and again! These lo o c ow of are incredibly easy to ma t any the rainb ke u and o st onl p y require 3 ingredients. si a re le to can sw rs. It’s sty, you n’t be ab e o ta th w d o s n r a id fo K t ! Versatile won’t ea gs!

You will need: comes in definitely new thin y e y tr th that this w to o n m k e u th o g • Puff pastry gin nts y ingredie f encoura • Jam (any flavour will wo at way o re g a rk!) o als eed: n • Bro l wn sug il ar w You es • Tomato Preheat the oven to 200c ers and line two baking tray e p ell pp s with parchment paper.

• Red b Unroll the pastry and cut ts it in half width ways so tha • Car ro t you have two equal sized rectangles. Spoon the o jam onto one half and spr • Avocad ead it all over the pas try.

Pla ce the other rectangle of ber pastry on top and press dow • Cucum ge a b n. Cut b the a pas c try widthways into strips r ple of about 1/2 inch thick. Tw eese sliced pu h c ly ist ft in each h stri so p, T cut • in half and place on the other baking tray. Spr inkle eac ngle, or ia tr h stra se w e wit e h a little brown sugar. Wh • Ch hives en all of the pastry strips • Tbsp c are rea dy, bake in the oven for 10 wrap minutes, tur ning half wa • Tortilla y. read p Allow to cool just for a cou S . se e e h c ple of minutes before r u o y h p it u w g s llin serving as the jam will be ive really hot! ix the ch before ro the veg eg and m t e v u ic e o sl y th h la c ll a a d e n p a u ld p o e c H Sli the wra sections. se onto e roll into ktail stick. th the chee g in ic sl oc with a c and then together 33

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B

OOKS For Your Little Readers FROM

JUST LIKE MUMMY

by Lucy Freegard

THE ITCHY-SAURUS by award-winning GP and author illustrator Rosie Wellesley

1st February 2018 (PB £6.99)

1st February 2018 (PB £6.99)

The perfect Mother’s Day gift, authorillustrator Lucy Freegard brings us Just Like Mummy, following the success of Just Like Daddy. This brand new picture book publishes on 1st February and is a joyous funny tale about a child’s love for her mother, as seen through the child’s eyes.

Rosie is a GP and a published author and has written this book for all children but especially for those with ‘itchy skin’, ie childhood eczema, which affects a fifth of UK children.

Something is stirring in the dinosaur jungle.... it’s Itchy-saurus. His itchy, scratchy skin is making him bad-tempered.

Can Doc Bill (the Platypus) help Itchy to calm down – perhaps with some lovely soothing cream?

Award-winning GP and bestselling authorillustrator Rosie Wellesley’s latest book is a tale packed with jokes and fun (and dinosaurs), but also addresses a serious issue.

Rosie’s beautifully illustrated book helps to reassure children with eczema that they are not alone, while familiarising others with the condition. She has produced a book that is so alluring, that even parents and children without eczema will ask for it at bedtime.

Who wouldn’t want to be just like mummy, when she is loving and silly, creative and practical? She also knows how to have fun, and even if she messes up, it’s never a big deal. Mum can deal with any situation, turning disaster into joy, and tears into laughter. This celebration of mums is a beautiful, funny and heartwarming story.

“Our bodies might all differ in shape, and form, and frame, but think how dull the world would be if we were all the same…”

WE’RE ALL WORKS OF ART Mark Sperring and Rose Blake 8th February 2018 (HB £11.99 / PB £6.99)

Celebrate difference and diversity with this wonderful and beautiful book written by Mark Sperring that tells children it’s OK to be different – in fact it’s perfect to be different. Told from the perspective of works of art, the book illustrates different styles and movements and demonstrates that there is no single masterpiece in galleries, or with people – we’re all works of art in our own special way.

Illustrated by the artist Rose Blake, and packed with different types of art on every page, the book also includes a handy beginners’ guide to the various styles of art - from prehistoric to cubist, ancient Egyptian to contemporary.

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WILLIAM BEE’S WONDERFUL WORLD OF TRACTORS

GRAB THAT RABBIT!

by Polly Faber and Briony May Smith

by William Bee - 1st March 2018 (HB £12.99) William Bee is back in this beautiful picture book with its graphic illustrations that show the most interesting and unusual tractors and farm machines and the jobs that they do to bring food to our tables. William Bee’s amazing collection of farm machines and tractors includes his teeny tiny tractor for picking fruit, the widest tractor in the world that can cover acre after acre, tractors for pulling ploughs or for pushing smelly loads of manure, his combine harvester and not forgetting his animals, including cows, Daisy and Buttercup, plus Brian the horse.

Perfect for every child fascinated by farms, tractors and amazing vehicles, as well as fans of the series, which has been heralded

by The Guardian as “Manna for all young vehicle fans”.

1st March 2018 (PB £6.99 / HB £11.99)

by Adam Hargreaves 1st March 2018 (PB £6.99)

Adorable bunny Hodge is minding his own business... or rather, he’s stealing some carrots from Mrs Sprat’s garden, but ends up stuck in her hedge and soon finds himself in a sticky situation - Mrs Sprat is advancing, wanting to get rid of the pesky bunny, while a buzzard overhead spies a tasty rabbit dinner. Can Hodge escape from a bird of prey and an angry gardener in time to take the carrots home?

From the illustrator and author of the hugely successful Mr Men books comes another Molly Mischief tale, the second in Adam Hargreaves’ exciting new series about a feisty young girl who can’t help getting into mischief.

This lyrical story, by Polly Faber, is perfect for reading aloud and packed with pageturning suspense. Illustrated by Briony May Smith, each page is full of detailed visual delights. Grab that Rabbit! is Peter Rabbit for the 21st century.

MOLLY MISCHIEF SAVES THE WORLD

Molly is a superhero. She’s super-speedy, super-strong and has laser vision. She’s Super Molly! And with great powers comes great mischief! Molly’s super powers help her to complete her chores in record time, lift the family car over all the traffic jams, rescue a stranded whale, capture criminals in the big city, and save the world from an asteroid. But will Molly finally want to go back to her old life after all that super action?

This is a brilliantly funny story about appreciating what you already have - packed with action, fun and mischief!

Time for a

GIVEAWAY!

Pavilion Books have two copies of each of these titles to give away to our readers!

For your chance to nab a copy of one of these great reads simply send us your preferred book, name, telephone number and address either via email to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Closing date 28/02/18 35

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A Z a

Make 2018 an exciting one!

Check out our A-Z of family friendly fun days out from up and down the country!

to

of

y l i m a F Days Out

b Brighton Pier

One of the best family entertainment destinations in Britain, Brighton Pier has everything from amusements, stunning views, fun on the beach and fabulous rides for everyone to enjoy.

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d

c Alexandra Palace

Alexandra Palace is bursting with culture and heritage that no other destination in London can offer. The big 7 acre Palace is surrounded by 196 acres of outdoor space, a year-round ice rink, boating lake, pitch and putt course, Little Dinosaurs soft play, skate park, play parks, deer enclosure and plenty of room to run around in.

Cadbury World

The home of all things chocolate, and a hit with everyone young and old, a visit to Cadbury World is a must. Set across 15 zones and now with a 4D cinema experience and a ride on the Crunchie Coaster, there’s more to Cadbury World than just scoffing chocolate!

Dinosaur Adventure Park

Imagine going back in time to a place where dinosaurs roamed the land but there was no risk of being eaten!

Dinosaur Adventure Park is a pre-historic attraction set in 85 acres of parkland in Norfolk.

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eh i Eden Project

Experience the sights, sounds and smells of the jungle at the Eden Project in Cornwall.

With weird and wacky plants and a whole host of events on throughout the year the Eden Project is a great place to visit together.

f

Fort Evergreen

Learn about farm animals, explore the surrounding countryside and relax whilst the kids enjoy the brand new covered play area. Fort Evergreen is a wonderful family day out in Northern Ireland.

g d k Holdenby Falconry Centre

A family run business set in the heart of Northamptonshire, anyone over the age of 10 can enjoy half a day hawk and owl experience which begins with a look around the centre meeting the birds followed with a chance to fly some of them.

Geevor Tin Mine

Interactive learning awaits at Geevor Tin Mine, Penzance, with hands on exhibits in the Hard Rock Museum, gold and gem panning for kids, and a trip underground!

You can explore a tiny part of the vast underground network with a guide and get a little feel for what the atmosphere was like down there.

j

Jill Windmill

Visit this fully restored, traditional working corn windmill in the South Downs National Park, West Sussex.

Inverness Museum and Art Gallery

Explore the history of the Scottish Highlands! Dress up in an 18th Century style highland kilt, learn a few gaelic words and discover the wide range of artefacts and activities the museum has to offer.

Kildare Maze

Previously known as the Millennium Maze, the new and improved Kildare Maze features a 2 acre hedge maze and a smaller wooden version for the younger explorers. There is also a large play area with assault course, zip wire, adventure trail and petting zoo.

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lo

m

Manchester City FC Experience

London Dungeon

The London Dungeon brings the darkest chapters of local and national history back to life, combining authentic set design, stunning special effects and live performance to recreate history’s horrible bits. The talented actors are adept at springing surprises, generating nervous laughter and making visitors unwitting cast members in terrifying re-enactments of old crimes, punishments and disasters.

Do you have any football fans in the family? Fancy going behind the scenes at the stadium of one of the UK’s top football teams? You can do just that with the Manchester City FC Experience Museum and Stadium Tour which combines the rich sporting history of Manchester City Football Club with an exciting and awe inspiring City of Manchester Stadium.

n North Lizard Riding School

An approved and accredited riding school, North Lizard provide riding days out in the countryside from total beginners to the more experienced.

Oxford Ghost Trail

Historically informative yet hugely entertaining, it’s the perfect way to soak up the atmosphere of this famous city, leaving you with a deliciously scary tingle running down your spine! Also suitable for wheelchair and pushchair users, Intrepid ghost hunters should meet Bill Spectre (distinctively dressed as a Victorian undertaker) outside the glass fronted gift shop of Oxford Castle Unlocked.

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q

p

Queensway Tunnel Tour

Planetarium at the Royal Observatory The Royal Observatory Greenwich is the home of Greenwich Mean Time and the Prime Meridian of the World. It is also home to London’s only planetarium, the Harrison timekeepers and the UK’s largest refracting telescope.

Queensway Tunnel Tour is a fascinating insight under the surface of George’s Dock, which welcomes families with kids over 10 years old who are confident underground.

Opened in 1934, the Queensway Tunnel has helped to shape Merseyside as we know it today. However, there is a lot more to the Tunnel than a “hole in the ground”!

r

Ripley Castle

North Yorkshire’s Ripley Castle, built in 1345, is full of armour, priests hiding holes and lots of great historical things to look at. There are also beautiful gardens and a deer park which little ones will love and a large tropical plant collection to saunter through. Lovely!

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s t

v u Silverstone

x

Silverstone, Northamptonshire, has been a race track since 1948, when hay bales and ropes marked the circuit in what had been a wartime airfield and farm. There is a 2 hour tour, with a chance to learn the history of the home of British Motor Racing, visit a race control, tour the drive workshop and have a great photo opportunity on the winner’s podium!

VR-HERE

VR-HERE Virtual Reality Arcade, in Liverpool, is at the forefront of technology with fully immersive alternate realities. Perfect for gamers and kids who want to try something a little - or a lot - different.

The arcade offers a large library of games including Space Pirate Trainer, Body Scan, the Snow Fortress and for something slightly closer to home, a job simulator.

The Holocaust Centre

The Holocaust Centre provides a moving experience that gives kids the chance to learn about the Holocaust and other genocide in the 20th century. This would be an especially valuable experience for kids of school age who are covering this subject in their lessons.

University of Dundee Botanic Garden

University of Dundee Botanic Garden has some great hidden areas to explore, plus a well and a mountain. It is peaceful and beautiful, as well as educational, giving you a chance to find out about the plants growing there.

w

Whipple Museum of the Whipple History of Science

Let your kids feel like real life scientists as they embark on an interactive journey of exploration at Whipple Museum, Cambridge of the History of Science.

y

Xtreme Karting

With sites in Edinburgh and Falkirk, these indoor karting centres offer a range of different karting formats for both junior drivers and adults.

Yorkshire Sculpture Park

Set on 500 acres of historic parkland, 80 sculptures sit for you to find and view.

These modern and contemporary pieces have evolved since the park first opened over 37 years ago.

z

ZSL Whipsnade Zoo

ZSL Whipsnade Zoo, Dunstable, is the largest in the UK with 3,800 unique creatures and 600 acres of stunning scenery. Spend a day discovering new breeds you’ve never even heard of before!

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P

aren ting Hacks

Short of time? Running low on energy?

Teetering on the edge of sanity? It might be time to incorporate some parenting short-cuts into your day…

One thing’s for sure in life – when it comes to parenting, there is never a dull moment.

There always seems to be about fifty million things do. No sooner have you crossed everything off your ‘To Do’ list than along comes another barrage of tasks which need conquering.

sanity-preserving tips to make life a little less stressful.

The grim reality is no matter how much cleaning you do, things will always get dirty again. It’s unlikely the kids will learn to find their own things without you intervening and you will never, ever see the bottom of your washing basket.

Preparation is key for keeping your wits about you during the carnage that ensues when getting children up, dressed and fed.

It’s thoroughly tiresome.

To give you a helping hand, however, we have tapped into the hive mind of parents across the UK and gathered some of the best time-saving, argument-reducing,

Curtail Morning Mayhem: Plan Ahead

So, the evening before, lay out clothes for the next day. And, yes, that does include your own! If it’s winter and your heating is set to come on early, hang the garments over the radiators – the thought of getting into warm, snuggly clothing makes getting up far more appealing on frosty mornings.

Next, lay the table for breakfast.You could

even start food preparations - soaking porridge oats and chopping fruit will save lots of time.

Finally, make tomorrow’s packed lunches.

And, if you are feeling really energetic after all this late-night organisation, you could even find the kids shoes and coats and have them ready by the front door.

Getting Out of the Door: Stickers and Stacking Drawers As we all know, leaving the house with children in tow is one of the most frustrating and laborious events in the day. Putting shoes on alone can take the same time as an entire episode of Lorraine.

Summer is bad enough, but in winter – when several layers and fiddly garments such as gloves are required – the process can be as painful as having your teeth pulled out.

Rachel Manderson, a mum of four children aged between seven and 12, has a nifty solution for making the process less gruelling.

“Have a stacking drawer unit by the front door,” she said. “My kids have a drawer each and their hats, gloves, scarves, shoes and school bags, books, jumpers etc are all kept in one place.”

Meanwhile, Liz Field has a method for keeping sports or activity kits in order: “Have a bag for each activity such as swimming or ballet and put the items inside. When finished and washed, put the items straight back in and hang them on hooks your children can reach.”

And Brid Pulker has found an ingenious method which means her four-year-old daughter can now get her shoes on without any help.

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Q uick Fire Tips

✓ Have a snack ready for your children when they get out of school. It helps avoid post-school hunger meltdowns. ✓ If children – especially babies or toddlers - have a toy or bear they are particularly attached to buy another one as a spare or replacement. If one gets lost, there’s another one for bedtime. ✓ On the subject of the spe cial toy/bear, tie a ribbon to it so it can be attached to a pram, pushch air or bag to prevent it get ting lost when out and about. ✓ Purchase audio books for long car journeys. Per fect for children who get travel sickness through rea ding. ✓ Got a long wait ahead?

Perhaps it’s at the doctors , in the dentist or while a sibling is doing a sports class? Take homework to do with the children.

It passes the time and wil l take their mind off the bor edo m or impending appointment.

“I drew an arrow on the inside sole of each shoes. So, if putting them on correctly, the arrows are pointing at each other.

“Worked a treat for us and my daughter can put her shoes on no bother now…. One less job for me!”

Quash Squabbles: Draw up a Rota

Getting Jobs Done: Multitasking One of the joys of parenting is the glass is always half full. And we mean this literally because you will never, after having kids, be able to finish your drink.

In fact, you will never be able to finish anything you start because there will always If your family is anything resembling be an interruption. It’s bad enough you normal, there will be lots of arguments over have to do the cleaning in the all sorts of highly important and But first place, without having life-changing matters such multist be e the job prolonged th as whose turn it is to use s lve vo in because of stoppage l al the iPad and who is tasking of t ls hi time. w going to sit in the sleep. Yes,

“

“

you going to me Zs you you are catching so But, there are clothes, e th ng ni ea cl be ways and means There is only one can also k of completing the ac st y pl im S s. el way to solve this bedsheets or tow chores without e machine conundrum and the washing into th neglecting your t the that is by creating a u go to bed and se yo re fo be children and it’s all timetable. clean is ng hi yt er ev thanks to that wellso timer ied worn and much-loved Over, once again, to and ready to be dr parenting skill known as Rachel: “We have a fourfirst thing! front seat of the car.

weekly rota for which child sits in the front of the car. They all get one week in the front out of four weeks.

“This works wonders for our chore boards too on a rolling weekly rota – laying the dinner table, clearing the table, loading and unloading the dishwasher, filling in the log baskets, hoovering etc.”

multitasking.

Cleaning, for example, can be done in bitesized chunks as you trundle through your day. Why not wipe around the toilet and sink while the kids are in the bath?

Put your phone on speaker or set yourself up with headphones so you can catch up

with your family and friends whilst you are doing the cooking, washing up or other chores.

Everyone hates taking kids to the supermarket, but with some planning you can actually distract – even entertain - them while buying groceries. Rachel said: “In the supermarket, give them each a mini shopping list of items to get for you. It makes shopping twice as quick!”

But the best multi-tasking of all involves you going to sleep.Yes, whilst you are catching some Zs you can also be cleaning the clothes, bedsheets or towels. Simply stack the washing into the machine before you go to bed and set the timer so everything is clean and ready to be dried first thing!

Making Less of a Meal of Mealtimes Batch cooking is the ultimate quick fix solution to making life easier. On the days when you have energy, time and inclination to cook – make double, triple or even quadruple the amount of food and freeze the leftovers in portions. It means when you are short on time, or there’s an emergency, you need only defrost something from the freezer.

That said, it’s always worth having other emergency food in the freezer – fish fingers, oven chips, mixed veg, potato waffles.

Another failsafe back-up for hectic days when you haven’t managed to get your culinary act together.

Save on washing up by putting vegetables into simmering pasta five minutes before cooking time is up. If you don’t fancy peeling potatoes for mash, bake them in the oven and scoop out the insides. This also works with sweet potato and butternut squash.

And finally, another squabble solver - if your children or other family members have vastly different tastes in food, and you want to avoid the stress of cooking three different meals, bring in the rota system.

Rachel does just this: “Let them have one meal choice throughout the week which everyone will have together.”

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Sleeping Let

Teenagers Lie

W

e often hear teenagers being referred to as lazy, but before you go and drag them out of bed or switch the hoover on outside their bedroom door at 7am on a Saturday morning, you may want to think again.

The life of today’s teenagers is a hectic one. Between increased responsibilities at home and school, an expanding social life and making plans for their futures, they have quite a lot going on. Adolescence is a time of significant maturation, physically, emotional, and intellectually. Sleep fuels these important processes, and good, plentiful sleep is absolutely essential to a teen’s development.

But all too often teenagers don’t get enough sleep. Inexperience of managing their time, hectic routines and the sleep-unfriendly schedule of the world puts teens at risk of sleep deprivation.

Teenagers need a minimum of 8 hours of quality sleep per night to meet their needs and to be able to perform at their best during their waking hours. During

adolescence, teens experience a biological shift to a later sleep-wake cycle, meaning they tend to stay up later and need to sleep in longer. Compared to adults, teenagers melatonin, the hormone produced in the pineal gland that regulates sleep and wakefulness, is released later in the evening, around 11pm, and drops later in the morning. This is why many teenagers are so grumpy and hard to rouse in the mornings, and explains why they might be full of energy and enthusiasm later in the day, for them a 7am alarm call is the equivalent of a 5am start for a middle aged adult.

This puts teens at odds with typical schedules, especially with early school starts. Some schools around the country are beginning to think about adopting later start times for certain ages in an effort to increase productivity and to have them learning when they are at their optimum level of concentration, wakefulness and work ability. Some schools in the UK have actually trialled later start times of 10am or 11am, and found that this boosted test results and overall productivity of the

students.

Scientists that have researched the connection between teenager’s well-being and the amount of sleep they have each night have warned that ignoring our children’s natural circadian rhythms could lead to exhaustion, frustration, anxiety, weight gain and hyper-tension, and could make a person more prone to stimulant or alcohol use and risk-taking. Researchers at Oxford University Sleep and Circadian Neuroscience Institute have predicted that if we let our teens sleep more we would see a 10% rise in GCSE results, lower numbers of mental health problems in adolescents and improvements in family life at home.

According to the findings of a number of surveys taken by parents of teens who trialled later school start times, the parents were surprisingly supportive of their teens starting school at 10 or 11am. It’s generally safer for children to walk to school later as the rush hour traffic has passed, travel times are shorter and mornings become less hectic and involve fewer arguments as teens are happier having been able to meet their sleep requirements.

Of course, it’s unlikely that we will see 10 or 11am school starts rolled out nationally any time soon, so what can parents do to help their tired teens? Families play a key role in ensuring teenagers get enough sleep.

They can be hard to govern, but a recent study estimated that 96% of adolescents use a tablet or smart phone within 30 minutes before going to bed. These devices emit light which mimics the light from the sun and essentially trick our brains into thinking it is daytime, encouraging them to stay active and not begin winding down for sleep. Avoiding these devices for at least 30 minutes before going off to bed can help teenagers (and adults for that matter!) settle down for a better night’s sleep.

Working with your teen to help them to stay on a consistent schedule throughout the week and the weekend can be hard, especially if they may have sleepovers and plans with friends at the weekends. But keeping to a routine as much as possible will help them get the sleep that they need. Prioritise sleep over studying in the evenings. This doesn’t mean have them forgo their homework and exam revision, but have them stay on top of it and do it at a reasonable time. Teenagers are notoriously bad at time management, and helping them to organise their time will not only keep disturbance to their sleep patterns

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“

“

sleeping in at the weekends too much only reinforces and enhances the delay in their bio clock and makes it more difficult for them to drop off to sleep at a reasonable hour during the week.

at a minimum but it will also teach them valuable life skills. Teenagers who burn the midnight oil with homework and studying are more likely to have trouble academically, according to research by the University of California. It can actually be counterproductive. Studying, when tired means you are less likely to retain the information you are reading and are more likely to lose focus and concentration on the exams and tests you are studying for in the first place.

asleep more easily. Our body temperatures naturally drop in the evening in preparation for us to fall asleep.

A cool room enhances that internal

temperature decline, and can make teens feel sleepier earlier. It’s also best to avoid any vigorous activity and exercise for the 4 hours before they are due to go to bed as this raises internal body temperatures and can make it more difficult to wind down.

For teenagers, sleep is not a luxury or an indulgence but a fundamental biological need,. Enhancing creativity, productivity, mood and their ability to interact with others, there are many things we can do as parents to help our teens establish good sleep habits that they will carry with them throughout their lifetimes.

Many teenagers sleep more at the weekends to try and recover the sleep debt that’s been accrued throughout the week with early starts for school.

However, sleeping in at the weekends too much only reinforces and enhances the delay in their bio clock and makes it more difficult for them to drop off to sleep at a reasonable hour during the week. The best thing you can do is set and stick to a reasonable bedtime on school nights, giving your teen a minimum of 8 hours but ideally 10 of good sleep. Extending this bedtime at weekends by a couple of hours and letting them sleep in for an extra 60 minutes or so in the mornings won’t throw off their bio clocks and leave them wide awake at midnight on Sundays, but try not to let them sleep in for more than an hour.

Another thing we can do is keep their bedrooms nice and cool. It might sound bizarre, as we associate being warm and snuggly with relaxing and becoming sleepy, but in addition to being dark and tech-free, a cool - not cold -bedroom can actually help teenagers fall

Sw eet dr eams!

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10/01/2018 13:10

Businesses Come Together To Support The Children of The Fallen

Bereaved Armed Forces children’s charity, Scotty’s Little Soldiers, announces the launch of Scotty’s Business Heroes – a new initiative set up to help raise vital funds for children of the fallen.

F

ive businesses from across the UK have signed up to become inaugural members of Scotty’s Business Heroes, laying the foundations of a new business club. Aimed at businesses and organisations who are keen to give a little back, Scotty’s Business Heroes promises to make a difference to those children who have lost a parent whilst serving in the Armed Forces.

Founded by war widow Nikki Scott in 2010, Scotty’s Little

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Her mission is to get as many likeminded businesses signed up to raise money for children who need the support that the charity gives. The very first of these businesses are: Incentive FM Group, Cable Training Services Ltd, The Who Shop and Doctor Who Museum, Particular Design, and Wolfstar PR. Doctor Who store and museum, The Who Shop, was established in East Ham 33 years ago and welcomes guests from across the globe throughout the year. The business will be part of Scotty’s Business Heroes and coowner and serviceman, Kevan Loosely, could not be prouder, explaining:

Soldiers supports children across the UK. The charity was set up in memory of Nikki’s husband and father to her two children, Corporal Lee Scott, after he was killed in Afghanistan in 2009.

Leading the new initiative is Kate Dring, Scotty’s Little Soldiers’ new Corporate Fundraising Manager.

Kate comes with extensive experience in the corporate and third sectors having worked for: Disney, Granada, Rainbow Trust and RNIB to name a few.

“...Scotty’s is undoubtedly a great cause and one which we can certainly get involved in.”

“Becoming a Scotty’s Business Hero means a lot to myself and Alexandra. Being a serviceman, I’m aware of the risk we take every day, so Scotty’s is undoubtedly a great cause and one which we can certainly get involved in.

means and allows them to become part of an exclusive club in which they’ll be able to take part in Business development networking, events, fundraising challenges, social media activity and work closely with the charity.

“The Doctor Who museum has just grown and grown and we get fans from around the world visiting us. Obviously, the show has such an appeal to children that it’s a perfect fit for Scotty’s Little Soldiers. We hope to help in any way we can.”

Corporate Fundraising Manager, Kate, commented: “We want to get the mission and the message of Scotty’s across to businesses in different regions of the UK. We know there are many people who haven’t heard of us and I believe they’ll be moved by the work this charity does. We want to reach these likeminded people and provide them with opportunities where they can really make a difference to the lives of children who have lost a parent in the British Armed Forces.”

Scotty’s Business Heroes is aimed at companies of all sizes. It gives businesses the opportunity to support the charity through a number of

To learn how you could get in volved please email: bu siness@ scottyslittlesold iers.co.uk or ca ll Kate Dring on 07 392 868290 fo r a confidential ch at.

And to learn m ore about Scotty ’s Little Soldiers vi sit: http:// scottyslittlesoldi ers. co.uk/ 45

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A Day

In The Life of a

Boarding School Meet Millie...

W

AKING UP - My usual day begins at 7.20am when I wake up and have breakfast. The school puts on a great breakfast in the dining hall with hot food or pastries always being an option.

Sometimes when I am running a little late I grab some cereal instead!

C

ALL OVER - At 7.55am we have ‘call over’ (registration and assembly) in house. Depending on the day we then either head to chapel, hoping to sing our favourite hymns, or we have half-an-hour free time before lessons begin.

I often use this time to tidy my room, which is all too often cluttered with folders and books, before the cleaners come.

L

essons Begin - After this we head off for two lessons before break. Now I am in the Sixth Form I have noticed that the teachers treat you more like a peer, and that we are expected to take control of our learning and become more independent.

This allows lessons to be more interesting with debates or discussions being frequent, especially in the politics classroom. This is something I have loved about the step up to A-Level and why politics is my favourite subject.

B

reak Time - At 10:15am it is break time when we head back to the boarding house and usually get a snack - toast, fruit, biscuits, and hot chocolate -

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Maybe you are thinking of sending your child to boarding school. Or perhaps you have a son or daughter due to start shortly. Either way, you may be curious to know more about the daily life of a boarder. We asked Millie Chesterman, a sixth former at Cranleigh Senior School in Surrey, to take us through a typical day.

“

Millie has attended Cranleigh, a coeducational school open to both boarders and day students aged between 13 and 18, since September 2014. A lower sixthformer and a member of the school’s West House, she has a particular interest in politics. Millie’s teachers describe her as a kind, fun and positive member of the school. She is, they say, in many ways a ‘typical Cranleighan’. Here is her account of how she spends a normal day at the school and how she finds life as a boarder.

to keep us going. We have half an hour to relax, but then it is back to lessons for periods three, four and five before lunch.

“

Lunch is one of my favourite parts of the day as it lets you catch up with your friends, who you might not always see. It provides a welcome break in between lessons.

A

fter lunch - On most days from 2pm to 3pm we have priority time which gives us an hour to get on top of our work.

Alternatively, we can sign up for one of the many activities on offer such as baking, pilates, tennis, art, music etc. On Wednesdays and Fridays we have a sixth lesson instead.

Three days a week we have sports practices in the afternoon. This term my main sport is hockey, but I also have a weekly netball session as we take part in some tournaments in the Michaelmas term.

F

and a chat.

ree Time - Formal school time ends at 4:30pm and after sport we have time to spend as we wish. This might entail going down to ‘the vill’ to get tuck from Sainsbury’s or meet friends for a cup of tea

D

inner and Prep - Dinner is at 6:25pm in the dining hall and then at 7:15pm all the houses have an hour and a half of prep where we are in our rooms working. In Sixth form I have found myself having to work well after the bell at 8:45pm as there is usually more work than can fit into this time slot.

B

edtime - After prep there is always a great atmosphere in house where often all the year groups mix together for a cup of tea or a biscuit in matron’s room. Then it is back to our own rooms by 10:30pm for bed.

How I find boarding school, overall…

I love boarding but even so it can be hard at times and inevitably people can feel homesick, but I phone or text my parents regularly to tell them about my day.

Having said this, when I go home I find myself missing my friends and the warm atmosphere of the school community. I would say to anyone starting boarding to throw themselves into what the school has to offer and that once you settle in, you will love it.

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The

Forces Children’s Trust The Forces Children’s Trust was launched in January 2004 by Denny Wise, after his friend’s son was killed in Basra, leaving behind a son and a yet unborn daughter.

Although counselling plays a fundamental part in the journey of grief, the children inevitably felt very isolated in terms of their bereavement. Such isolation is often magnified when spending time with other families who have not experienced such trauma. The Trust offers all children whose parent has either died, or received life-threatening injuries, the invaluable opportunity to spend time with other children and families who share a similar experience and loss. Unlike so

many other charities, the Trust takes on a family role, there is no expectation for the children to share or discuss their grief, yet the bonds created between the children over time are truly special, and I have seen for myself the comfort they draw from each other through knowing they are not alone; that other children have experienced similar heartache. I have been privileged to have met and spent time with some of the children who have been with the charity from a young age, and

who are now blossoming into adulthood. What is reassuring is that the charity recognises and acknowledges that although children are generally resilient, their journey through grief is in no way less painful or enduring than that of an adult and so the continued support through to adulthood is key in helping them come to terms with their new life. Although the charity exists for the children, widowed parents also gain immensely from the opportunity to share the struggles and hurdles encountered on the journey of grief with others, and a camaraderie similar to that experienced within the forces quickly emerges.

Whilst the number of military personnel deployed is thankfully reducing, this does, however, mean that the focus of the military in the public eye is also in decline. Sadly the number of bereaved children that require the support of the Trust is not reducing at the same rate, as we strive to meet the needs of all

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children who have lost a parent whilst serving and not solely those killed in action.

The work carried out by the Forces Children’s Trust, is very important and we have

recently increased our remit to include the children of those who suffer with PTSD, as long as their injury is proven to be attributable to their service in the British Armed Forces.

Meetings with Combat Stress

have already taken place and they are happy to work with us.

Children of our Civilian Forces i.e. Police & Fire Service also suffer due to loss of a parent, we are also including some of those and have recently agreed to work with the Metropolitan and City Police Orphans Fund, some of their children have already joined the other children on an Outward Bound week in the Lake District and more will be joining us for the FCT Christmas Party.

The Fire Fighters Charity is also very interested in working with us and we hope to be helping some of their children soon.

If you are able to help the FCT in any way be it a donation or volunteering, please got to our website for more information www.forceschildren’strust.org Alternatively you can contact Denny Wise Tel. 01737 361077 Email: Denny.Wise@forceschildrenstrust.org

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Fall in love with National Trust places this Valentine’s Day is here, and where better to spend the most romantic day of the year than at a beautiful place cared for by the National Trust?

Discover somewhere special with loved ones, fall in love with breathtaking views and take a walk through centuries of romantic tradition at some of the most striking historic houses and gardens in the country.

From windswept beaches to secluded gardens, the National Trust has a special place to suit every couple.

And what’s more, every romantic day out helps the conservation charity to look after these places for future generations.

Here are some top spots for a sprinkle of romance: 50

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South West Lacock, Wiltshire Valentines Day Flower Count, 10 – 18 February, 10.30am – 5pm From the clean white blooms of snowdrops to bright yellow daffodils, early spring flowers are a welcome sign of the longer, warmer days to come. Every Valentine’s Day for the last 11 years, National Trust gardeners in the South West have been busy counting the number of blooms on show, in an effort to track trends and see how our gardens are affected by climate change. This year many properties such as Lacock will be offering you the chance to help out with the count – so why not bring along that special someone and help to show nature a bit of love?

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lacock-abbey-fox-talbotmuseum-and-village

Dyrham Park, South Gloucestershire Valentine’s craft, 14 Feb, 11am-1pm Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. This February half-term the whole family can get involved and show the love for some of Dyrham’s special trees by making a wild Valentine’s Day card. Little ones will love exploring the parkland to gather leaves and other natural decorations, ready to create a masterpiece. Be warned – it could get messy!

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyrham-park

Studland Bay, Dorset Champers and Hampers, 11 February, 12pm – 3pm Treat yourselves to a champagne hamper for two this Valentine’s weekend and enjoy your lunchtime delights overlooking Studland Bay. After all those treats take a romantic walk along Studland’s glorious four-mile stretch of golden sand. Those who love wildlife can explore the heathland behind the beach which is a haven for birds and reptiles.

Price: £40 for a two-person hamper. Booking essential 01929 450500 www.nationaltrust.org.uk/studland-bay

Overbeck’s, Devon Valentine’s Day high tea, 10 Feb - 31 Mar, 12pm - 3.30pm Where better to take your Valentine than a hidden subtropical paradise – on the south coast of Devon? Explore the exotic garden with its beautiful estuary views, before tucking in to a delicious selection of petit sandwiches and cakes, plus scones with cream and jam. There’ll even be glass of Prosecco for you and that special someone.

Price: £13.50. Booking essential 01548 842893 or 845014 www.nationaltrust.org.uk/overbecks

Prior Park Landscape Garden, Bath Wander just one mile from the beautiful (and very romantic) city of Bath, and you’ll find yourself surrounded by the open space and sweeping views of one of its finest

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landmarks. Prior Park Landscape Garden dates back to the 18 century, when it was created by local entrepreneur Ralph Allen, with advice from Lancelot ‘Capability’ Brown and the poet Alexander Pope. The valley setting makes this the perfect spot to retreat from the bustle of the city and enjoy a peaceful stroll with your loved one.

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/prior-park-landscape-garden

Greenway, Devon The romantic side of Agatha: Valentine’s at Greenway, 14 February, 2pm – 3pm Under the pseudonym Mary Westmacott, Agatha Christie wrote six ‘bitter-sweet stories about love.’ This Valentine’s Day, storytellers will be reading excerpts from these stories in the House Kitchen at her holiday home, Greenway. Stop by to hear some bitter-sweet tales.

Price: Free event (normal admission charges apply).

Pre-booked parking essential if you wish to travel to Greenway by car. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/greenway

London and South East Waddesdon, Buckinghamshire You may not be able to escape to Paris this Valentine’s Day, but there’s still plenty of romance to be found at Waddesdon - a French Renaissance-style château set amid the scenic Buckinghamshire countryside.

The estate has its own tales of romance too: in 2016 a stash of papers was discovered during the refurbishment of the Five Arrows Hotel. These turned out to be a collection of 100 letters, sent by teenage First World War soldier to the landlord’s daughter which had lain undisturbed for almost 100 years.

Price: normal admission charges apply Valentine’s Dinner, 14 February, 7.30pm Enjoy a special evening with your loved one this Valentine’s Day. Clink glasses of Nyetimber sparkling wine on arrival, before tucking in to a delicious three course dinner in the Manor restaurant.

Price: £55, booking essential www.nationaltrust.org.uk/waddesdon-manor

Basildon Park, Berkshire Planted in 1850, the majestic copper beech at Basildon Park is one of the estate’s most iconic features. It’s also the focus for a bittersweet story: during the Second World War, Bill, a soldier stationed at Basildon Park met and fell in love with a local lady called Alice. They planned to marry, but sadly Bill was killed in action before they had the chance. Alice remained true to her first love and never married. On retiring, she volunteered at Basildon as a room guide and after her death her ashes were scattered under the copper beech to be close to her memories of Bill. Today you can still visit this peaceful spot to reflect on Alice and Bill’s enduring love.

Price: Normal admission applies www.nationaltrust.org.uk/basildon-park

Rainham Hall The Day Nursery exhibition: Roger and Janice, opens 10th Feb 2018 During WWII, Rainham Hall operated as a day nursery for local children. In 2018 the Hall will be holding an exhibition to highlight the stories of seven former nursery attendees, including that of Roger and Janice Cunningham. They first met at the nursery as young children, but then lost contact and didn’t remember each other when they next crossed paths at a local dance as teenagers. It wasn’t until Roger’s mother met Janice and immediately recognised her that the story came out.

Romance blossomed and the couple married in November 1965 at St Helen and St Giles Church, which sits next to the Hall where they first met all those years before.

Price: Normal admission applies www.nationaltrust.org.uk/rainham-hall

East of England Sutton Hoo, Suffolk 1400 years ago a king or great warrior of East Anglia was laid to rest in a 90ft ship under a burial mound at Sutton Hoo, surrounded by his extraordinary treasures.

It’s believed that the king in question was

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Raedwald of the Wuffingas dynasty. For Valentine’s Day the National Trust team will be exploring the story of his queen – who may well have been the person responsible for the impressive scale of her husband’s burial mound.You’ll also be able to explore a new art installation which looks at the treasures of Sutton Hoo and the amazing journey the materials may have taken around the world to end up at this site.

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/sutton-hoo

Ickworth, Suffolk Sir Thomas and Isabella Hervey, former residents of Ickworth, were famously romantic. Many of their books were inscribed with notes and poems of their devotion to each other. Now you can take your own romantic walk around the pretty Italianate garden where delicate snowdrops and golden aconites brighten up the winter scenery. Stroll through the park to the woodland glade where the Porter’s Lodge outdoor café serves delicious scones and tea for a Valentine’s Day treat.

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ickworth

Oxburgh Hall, Norfolk Take a walk with your Valentine around this beautiful 15th-century moated manor and its surrounding gardens. The paths wind through carpets of snowdrops and aconites, offering the perfect place to get down on one knee. Not far from the house you’ll find the chapel. It was here during the Second World War that the Bedingfeld family kindly offered the chapel to airmen from the nearby RAF base so they could marry their sweethearts before going back to war.

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/oxburgh-hall

Midlands Berrington Hall, Herefordshire Falling in love with the Georgians trail, 17 - 25 February, 10am- 4pm From Wordsworth to Jane Austen, the 18th century is well known for its Romantic culture. This Valentine’s Day, Berrington Hall will be exploring the stories and traditions of Georgian-era love and romance. Follow the family-friendly trail

around the gardens and learn about the traditions of the era, the language of the fan and how flowers were used as symbols of affection.

Price: £2.50 per trail, includes a prize. Normal admission applies. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/berrington-hall

Birmingham Back to Backs, West Midlands Rag Rug Valentines Heart or Easter Wreath, 10 February, 10.30am – 12.30pm & 1.30pm – 3.30pm Come along Birmingham’s last surviving court of back-to-back houses, and have a go at creating a traditional handmade decoration with a modern twist.

Rag rugging was an essential part of life in back-to-back houses, as bits of cloth and some hessian sacks were turned into rugs, chair covers and mats. During a two-hour workshop, expert crafters will teach you these skills as you create your own special seasonal decoration.

Price: £30 Candlelit tours, 14th February, 1hr 45 min tours beginning at 6pm, 6.15pm, 6.30pm or 7pm.

Court 15 becomes even more atmospheric in the twilight. Come along to explore by candlelight, and hear the extraordinary stories of the people who called this place home for more than 160 years. There’ll even be a pit stop during the tour where you can warm up with hot drinks and toast served by the National Trust’s volunteers.

Price: £13 www.nationaltrust.org.uk/birmingham-back-to-backs

Woolsthorpe Manor, Lincolnshire Come stargazing, 15 February, 5.30pm – 8pm Where better to discover the science behind stars than at Isaac Newton’s birthplace?

Local astronomers will be on hand with a travelling planetarium to give you a glimpse of space with plenty of hands-on activities, talks and demonstrations, and weather permitting, some actual stars!

Price: Adult £10, Child £4.75 (booking essential) For more information please call 01476 862823. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/woolsthorpe-manor

Ilam Park, Dovedale and the White Peak, Derbyshire

Walk from Ilam Park to the Stepping Stones in Dovedale Discover the limestone countryside of the southern Peak District, famed for its wildlife and geology. Starting at Ilam Park, this easy walk leads to Dovedale, a spectacular limestone gorge carved out by the River Dove. For a memorable proposal spot take a detour up to the top of Thorpe Cloud hill.

Price: Free route www.nationaltrust.org.uk/ilam-park-dovedale-and-thewhite-peak/trails/ilam-park-to-dovedale-stepping-stones

North Lyme Park, Cheshire Nestled on the edge of the Peak District and surrounded by expanses of moorland, Lyme Park combines architectural grandeur with wild beauty. It’s a setting that oozes romance – it was even used as a backdrop to where Elizabeth meets Mr. Darcy in the much-loved TV adaptation of Pride & Prejudice. Take the Pemberley Walk to follow in Mr. Darcy’s footsteps then head to the café for warming drinks and tasty treats.

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lyme/trails/pemberley-walkat-lyme-

Romantic afternoon tea, 10 - 16 February, 11am – 4pm For a truly special Valentine’s experience, why not treat that special someone to afternoon tea at Lyme? Tuck in to sandwiches, soup, sweet treats and a glass of bubbly. Afterwards you can round it all off with a stroll around the beautiful gardens and parkland.

Price: £24.95 per person. Booking essential 01663 761400 www.nationaltrust.org.uk/lyme

Moss Eccles Tarn, Cumbria Moss Eccles Tarn is a beautiful little spot, only a mile or so from Hill Top, Beatrix Potter’s house in Near Sawrey. Beatrix and her husband William Heelis loved walking up to the tarn to go boating, fishing and sketching. It’s a very romantic spot, and you won’t have to work hard to see how Beatrix fell in love with the landscape (and William) in this part of the Lakes. After your walk, why not pop in to Hill Top or the Beatrix

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Potter Gallery in Hawkshead to discover more about Beatrix’s life and works. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/hill-top

Claife Viewing Station and Windermere West Shore, Cumbria Take a romantic trip to Claife Viewing Station, where you can climb the spiral staircase to the first floor platform and gaze through pretty coloured glass panels across Lake Windermere. On a blustery day listen out for the Aeolian wind harp, then relax in the cosy café next to the log fire, or sit under the twinkling fairy lights in the courtyard and warm yourself up with a blanket, a welcome cup of tea and a slice of delicious cake.

Crom, County Fermanagh

Price: Free admission www.nationaltrust.org.uk/claife-viewing-station-andwindermere-west-shore

Rufford Old Hall, Lancashire The Lovers Walk in the garden beyond this beautiful black and white Tudor hall is a popular place to steal a kiss. Take a stroll along the Lovers Walks, then treat your loved one to tea in the Victorian tea-room.

Rufford has lots of picture-perfect spots for proposals, so why not come here to pop the question?

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/rufford-old-hall

Mwnt Beach, Ceredigion This secluded sandy bay is a haven for wildlife: one of the best places in Ceredigion to spot dolphins and seals.

Mwnt is the perfect spot for a romantic Valentine’s Day stroll: even on a blustery day you can warm up by walking to the top of Foel y Mwnt, where you can enjoy panoramic views over Cardigan Bay. If you’re feeling brave you could even dip a toe in the sea. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/mwnt

Wales

Northern Ireland

Rhossili, Gower Peninsula

Downhill Demesne and Hezlett House, County Londonderry

Fancy a walk on the wild side this Valentine’s Day? Take your loved one for a romantic stroll along the windswept headland at Rhossili, with stunning views out over the golden bay. This was a favourite retreat of poet Dylan Thomas and it’s not hard to see why when you discover the stories of shipwrecks on the beach, and the legend of Worm’s Head. After a bracing walk, cosy up in the Worm’s Head Hotel (not National Trust) for a drink and a bite to eat. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/rhossili-and-south-gowercoast/trails/rhossili-headland-walk

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Explore this 18th-century landscape, complete with a pretty Gothic gate lodge, a small arboretum and lots of statues and temples. Perched right on the cliff edge, the iconic Mussenden Temple is a lovely spot for a romantic moment with your loved one. The sheltered lawns of the Walled Garden are perfect for a picnic if the weather holds out.

Price: normal admission charges apply www.nationaltrust.org.uk/downhill-demesne-andhezlett-house

If you’re looking to escape the hustle and bustle this Valentine’s Day, Crom’s tranquil lakeside setting could be just the spot for you. Wander through the crumbling castle ruins, stroll through ancient woodlands, or really push the boat out and go rowing on the lake. For a romance of nature, seek out Crom’s famous pair of conjoined yew trees.

The larger female yew is of a considerable age, although how old exactly has been the subject of debate for many years. The male tree is much younger, but over the years it has intertwined itself so closely with the female yew that they are now effectively one tree. www.nationaltrust.org.uk/crom/features/castle-ruinsand-ancient-yews-at-crom

Romantic cottages for two If you’re planning a romantic break for Valentine’s Day, the National Trust’s collection of holiday cottages have everything you need for an extra special getaway just for two. From gatehouses to castle watch towers, pretty cottages to cosy bothies, coastal retreats to estate lodges, you’ll find holiday cottages full of character and surrounded by beautiful views. What’s more, every holiday cottage booking helps support the conservation charity’s work to look after special places for ever, for everyone.

Discover more at www.nationaltrust.org.uk/holidays or by calling 0344 800 2070

10/01/2018 13:10

Siblings

In The

Many of us know only too well what it’s like to have a parent, partner, son or daughter head off to a conflict zone. But what’s it like to see a sibling posted on a major deployment? Kate Saines talks about her experiences of having a brother on the front line.

I moved house recently and, amid all the clutter I was sorting through, I found a pile of blueys. There they were, wedged between my old bank statements and some copies of old tax returns. At first I thought they were scraps torn out of my work notebook and, because I was in ruthless mode, I very nearly threw them out. But upon closer inspection I noticed my brother’s wiry scrawl and there was a British Force Postage Paid stamp. I put the kettle on and settled down to read through.

My brother was in the RAF and had been posted to Basra Airport during the Iraq War. He had always been obsessed with aircraft, and working with them in the RAF was his dream. I sat down with my tea, expecting a few boring geeky references to aircraft, maybe a few anecdotes about the lads, how the food was amazing but there wasn’t much in the way of beer. A bit of detail about the weather. But … no… nothing of sort. Just lots of complete and utter nonsense.

Yes, reader… my brother was involved in one of the biggest deployments of British Armed Forces since the Second World War and it would appear he had used this little escapade to reinvent himself as a comic script writer.

These letters were comedy gold. I was in fits of giggles. There were, it turns out, pages of ‘in jokes’ and obscure references to tacky TV

Just for Families 8 17.indd 54

shows my brother and I found amusing. There was an analysis of the merits of ITV drama Minder over The Bill. Some quotes from Alan Partridge and some references to Blackadder’s Lord Flashheart.

He may as well have been on holiday in Mauritius for all I knew as there was not one reference – even abstract - to deserts, aircraft or how his accommodation would fare on TripAdvisor. He didn’t mention how ridiculously hot it was, how tiresome his duties… No, my Foo Fighters-loving brother simply expressed his deep disappointment that Cliff Richard and Spandau Ballet would not be entertaining the troops in Basra that particular Christmas.

At some point I think I must have challenged him to name as many famous ‘Clives’ as possible as he has written a list of them. Oh and he takes the micky– a lot – out of our other brother. In a nice, brotherly way, of course. There are references to his bad haircut and having no friends.

It got me thinking about my role as a sister to a member of our armed forces. Clearly I wasn’t deemed worthy of an emotional overspill (Mum and girlfriend got that). Nor was I considered technically-minded enough for a forensic analysis of the inner workings of an altitude radar thingy indicator doodah (Dad, the RAF veteran got that).

No, I was clearly there for light relief. And although that sounds a bit like a supporting role, it turned out to be vital.

Forces My mum, I remember all too vividly, did not handle things well. She describes the day she found out my brother was being posted to Iraq as ‘the worst day of her life’. She pined after him, worried constantly and lived for his phone calls home.

My brother’s girlfriend, meanwhile, went through a similar experience to my Mum. I have no idea what were in his letters to her and vice versa (not sure I want to know) but I am aware she was deeply lost without him.

Her own mum used to write to him regularly, offering housekeeping tips and showering him with concern.

Aunties, uncles and cousins would send notes deploring him to keep safe, expressing their pride and wishing for his R&R to come around as quickly as possible.

Yep, there was more than enough support, sympathy and love around for our boy in Iraq.

So, as his sister, I felt it was my duty to bring him right back down to earth… I mean, he didn’t need anyone else telling him how great he was.

So I wrote him letters pretending to be from celebrities we both found amusing or family friends with mannerisms or catchphrases that only we had picked up on. And I challenged him to think of ten famous “Bobs” or to change the lyrics of Keane’s Somewhere Only We Know to sound more Chas N Dave.

Of course it doesn’t make a jot of sense. But, then, most sibling conversations never do to others.

10/01/2018 13:11

Don’t tell him I said this, but I was proud of the little pest. I remember feeling as if I had been winded when I found out he was Iraqbound. It was inevitable, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

The night he left the UK, I was – in my head – on that plane with him. I couldn’t sleep for imagining what he must be thinking or feeling or doing. I couldn’t concentrate in work the next day.

Whenever I told people that he had been posted to Iraq they always looked impressed.

Some were in awe. Everyone felt for me. But I didn’t want them to be concerned for me - I wasn’t the one doing anything particularly important, special or brave and that ‘look’ I got from people just reminded me that my little brother had gone to war. I didn’t need reminding of that.

I discovered the immense respect people had for our armed forces too. Even on his return, I remember people shaking him by the hand when they discovered about his posting. It’s no

wonder I felt a swell of pride at being his sister.

And, of course, I used to worry about him.

But I didn’t let that show… to anyone. And here’s why. Firstly, I wanted to be strong for my Mum who needed a lot of support. She couldn’t handle the lack of phone calls and if she went too long without hearing from him she would immediately fear the worst.

Secondly, I knew that my brother was scared. I knew, in only the way a sister can, that despite his bravado a little bit of him would dissolve every time he heard an explosion from his base. I knew he was outside his comfort zone and I knew he was unhappy.

But, more than that, I knew that sending him letters telling him how much I missed him and how I hoped he would get back safely would do nothing good.

So, instead, I decided to provide a semblance of normality to his surreal life. I wrote to him in a way he would relate to – as a person he was having banter with in the pub or as someone sitting around the big family dining table at

Christmas. And, apparently, he read my letters to the rest of lads, who also found them funny (they must have been really desperate for entertainment).

He told me afterwards, when he got home, that those blueys got him through some quite tough times. The escapism they provided, and the opening I gave him to send me equally absurd responses kept him distracted and most of all gave him that much needed release that only laughter can provide.

I, of course, will never really know what happened to my brother in Iraq. He can’t tell me much about it. I know that more than a decade later he still hates fireworks night and jumps about 40 feet in the air if he hears so much as a balloon pop.

But, because of all that nonsense scribbled in his letters to me, I know there were moments, little moments, during his deployment when he wasn’t an aircraftsman or a soldier or a troop… he was just my little brother.

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10/01/2018 13:11

That’s

Your

Business Trish Preston-Whyte, Chiltern Candle Co. Where are you based?

I was in the RAF so was posted all over the UK and abroad, including 8 years in Germany. Since 2003 I have been based in Buckinghamshire primarily working at the RAF Headquarters in Walters Ash. What is your rank / role?

I was (am) a Wing Commander and my husband who left in 2003 was a Squadron Leader, employed as a Tornado pilot. My key role over the years was as an air traffic controller, but more recently I have been working at the Headquarters responsible for the operational capability of the RAF Reserves. Although I left full time employment after 30 years in 2016, I am still employed as a part-time reservist in the same area.

Why did you leave the forces?

I was approaching 30 years in the RAF and the big 50 in age and, as much as I loved the career I had, the reality was that I felt I needed a new challenge, especially as I was approaching such big milestones in my life. My 2 children were now teenagers and after years of juggling full time employment (with a husband who was away a lot), I felt it was time to make the move.

Did the forces offer you support in the transition into civvy street?

Yes, very much so. I do feel exceptionally lucky as I was entitled to a resettlement package and, 56 as I knew what I wanted to

Just for Families 8 17.indd 56

do, I could tailor my resettlement towards courses that would help me set up my own business, such as self-employment awareness, accounting in a small business and marketing. The courses were excellent and gave me the knowledge and confidence to progress.

What gave you your business idea?

I have always enjoyed being creative and candle making was a hobby that I loved doing. I had made candles for charity events and when I took part in my village charity Christmas Fair, the feedback I received was very positive. When I decided to leave the RAF, I knew I was going to take my hobby to the next level and turn it into a business, so I gave myself a year to get to my exit point and in that time, I planned, designed and developed the Chiltern Candle Co. The rest is history!

How has your life changed?

As a working mum, you wear many hats and so it was good to be at home for the family without having to make compromises. I very much enjoy not having the strict schedule of going to work every day (although that did take a lot of getting used to) but the reality is that I never stop working. My mind is constantly buzzing with new ideas, plans for the future and of course there is the day-today administrative tasks as well as making all the candles myself.

It is very exciting though and I love making things happen and being in charge of my destiny.

How is business going?

Since the Chiltern Candle Co launched 8 months ago it has gone from strength to strength.

I have an online shop, I supply to 8 independent retailers and I have participated in some national fairs which have all gone well. I am constantly developing my brand and products and have more in the pipeline. I outgrew the workshop I was using and have just had a new studio built which is a wonderful space to work in.

What advice would you give to others leaving the forces/with a partner in the forces who are looking to start their own business?

Plan! It’s a big decision so you must know what you are trying to achieve and know how you are going to get there; flexibility is key too as you never know what doors are going to open and which ones are going to

shut in front of you. For me an example of this was that initially I had no plans to sell online but it soon became evident that I needed to as I customers from fairs wanted repeat orders and I wanted to provide that facility.

I would also recommend making the most of courses and networking events that are available. Because I was the spouse of a veteran I participated in the Unsung Hero Programme run by Wolverhampton University. It is an excellent programme run by specialists who have run their own businesses and provides practical, relevant advice to help you. Meeting other likeminded spouses was also great as it allows everyone to bounce ideas off each other and pass on business advice to each other. Local networking groups are also a great source of advice; I joined my local regional business growth hub ‘Buckinghamshire Business First’ that offers great free advice and events for new and small businesses.

10/01/2018 13:11

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10/01/2018 13:11

Direct from London’s West End, You Win Again – Celebrating The Music of The Bee Gees.

Prepare to experience the distinct sound of one the greatest bands to have ever graced the stage in this unforgettable concert spectacular. Immerse yourself in the brothers’ music through the sixties, seventies and eighties – including hits they wrote for artists such as Celine Dion, Diana Ross and Dolly Parton.

Join us for this breath-taking concert spectacular, taking you on a musical journey through all your favourite songs, including: Night Fever, Stayin’ Alive, M ore Than A Woman, You Should Be Dancing, How Deep is Your Love?, Jive Talkin’, Tragedy, M assachusetts, Words, I’ve Got to Get a Message to You, Too Much Heaven, Islands in the Stream, Grease, If I Can’t Have You and many more!

This fabulously authentic production ensures the Gibb brothers’ incredible legacy of classic hit songs is well and truly stayin’ alive.

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Just for Families 8 17.indd 58

Win Tickets!

We are offering one lucky reader the chance to win a pair of tickets to see ‘You Win Again’ at Kings Theatre Portsmouth on 11th April 2018

Simply answer the following question...

Finish the name of this Bee Gees hit: ‘More than a ...’

Send us your answer, along with your name, telephone number and address either via email to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Closing date 28/02/18

10/01/2018 13:11

Through 1957 to ‘59 one man changed the face of music and revolutionised the meaning of Rock ‘N’ Roll. That man was Buddy Holly.

Clutching a Fender Stratocaster, sporting a pair of heavy-rimmed glasses, and sounding exactly like Buddy in his heyday, a legend is reborn.

This all new production celebrates an artist who shot straight into the limelight as soon as That’ll Be The Day hit the radio.

Though his career was short, this one-man powerhouse gave the world a stack of hits that will never be forgotten.

Join Buddy Holly - A Legend Reborn to relive the Rockin’ fifties music scene with hits such as Peggy Sue, Oh Boy, Heartbeat, It Doesn’t Matter Anymore, Words of Love, It’s So Easy, Rave On and many more.

Win Tickets!

We are offering one lucky reader the chance to win a pair of tickets to see ‘A Legend Reborn’ at The Assembly Aberdeen on 14th April 2018

Simply answer the following question...

What was the name of Buddy Holly’s first song to be played on the radio?

Send us your answer, along with your name, telephone number and address either via email to competitions@forcespublishing.co.uk or in the post to: Forces & Corporate Publishing Ltd, Hamblin House, Hamblin Court, Rushden, Northants NN10 0RU. Closing date 28/02/18

Issue 8

ust Families J for

Incorporating The UK Forces Education Guide

Win Tickets!

Buddy Holly - A Lege nd Reborn

ine he Mar

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nd Mum

Wife a

...

ry on nd Car a m l a Keep C Parenting

Scotty’s Little

Soldiers