Therapy #2

1

THERAPY ZINE: issue two, September 2019 Created/Edited/Curated & Cover Art by Frankie Francesco Creative Director: Victoria Prevost

CONTACT: Website: FrankieFrancescoArt.com Email: FrankieFrancescoArt@gmail.com Insta, Twitter & FB: @TherapyZine Youtube: Youtube.com/channel/UCx9C6rnPgKTXnfHpQVD9i2g Support Us: Patreon.com/TherapyZine Published by The Therapy Zine Group, Las Vegas, Nevada, United States Copyright 2019 Frankie Francesco/The Therapy Zine Group. All Rights Reserved to featured creators.

2

CREATORS Frankie Francesco

Jaycie Weeks

MARTUP

@formugs

@jayy_double_u

@atepgod

Savannah Francesco

David Baeza

Victoria Prevost

@143crossmyheart

@elboogieman

@4lluring3ngima

River Bennett

Renee Agant

Briana Santarsieri

@rvr.photo

@wyypipo

@briiielizabeth_

Heart Machine - ANIIML (feat. Lynx) Song About Me - TV Girl Boombayah - BLACKPINK Somewhere In Between - VÉRITÉ Another Lifetime - NAO I Can Love You Like That - All 4 One It’s Not Living (If It’s Not Worth It) - The 1975 Good Things Fall Apart - ILLENIUM (feat. Jon Bellion) Gun In My Hand - Dorothy Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales - Car Seat Headrest Oh sister - Neutral Milk Hotel Diamonds and Rust- Joan Baez I Don’t - Koda Jodie Knowlton

Paul Kohl

Mazahir

@jodielocks

@kohl_86

@girthofvenus

Charles Neworth

Nicolas Stevens

Madison West

@charles_neworth_art

@twotreeswriting

@madisonkorey

Anyonka Virgon

Magui Antunovic

Dozawai

@anyonkavirgon

@magui.antu

@dozawai

3

by Frankie Francesco

“I will find my purpose, even if i have to create it myself” I am so overwhelmed by all the positive feedback we received, It was hard for me to take any compliments that came. I really didn’t feel as if I deserved it. When speaking, my mind would automatically replace “I” with “WE.” Even for the things I did independently. This magazine is like my own personal Venom symbiote suit. “WE ARE THERAPY!” Jokes aside, after my friend gave me a stern talking too, I realized I did what I set out to do. “STOP! This is all you, none of it would’ve been possible without you.” She scolded me, as we welcomed people to our table. She was right though, I brought my family, friends, and even strangers together to create something. Something unique, funny, sad, flawed, and beautiful. I can’t describe how it makes me feel, my mind is a brew of emotions. Some notes bitter, some sweet, and some are hard to swallow. I feel seen for the first time, which is a bit funny considering.

It’s hard to be happy when what brings me joy also makes me feel like a burden. My hard work, the sleepless nights, meticulously going over every detail. It essentially amounts to nothing as soon as they see what it gets me.

The things that fulfill me emotionally don’t exactly pay the bills, (or that’s what we are told.) I try not to let these people get to me, or let those thoughts creep in. Why does society’s idea of success have to be mine. I mean some days I’m just grateful to be alive, considering my health. Everyday I feel less and less like myself, and it frightens me to the core. I try to look towards a future where I’m healthy. Where my mind doesn’t fight me, a future where I’m not afraid to forget. Is there a universe where I get to be my authentic self?

I created Therapy for a reason; to be a place where people can go and express themselves. Free of judgment, full of love that celebrates the good, the bad, and the gritty parts of us all. I think that I need this more than ever, I’m not giving up though. I will find my purpose, even if I have to create it myself. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for lending me your ear.

Enjoy.

Love your editor (@formugs)

4

Contents INTRO & CREATORS....

2-3

LETTER FROM EDITOR & TOC....

4-5

FRANKIE FRANCESCO....

4,8,14-18, 38

MAZAHIR....

7

NICOLAS STEVENS....

9

CHARLES NEWORTH....

RENEE AGANT....

10-11 12-13, 23

ANYONKA VIRGON....

14-18

DAVID BAEZA....

19,30

PUZZLES....

20-21

MAGUI ANTUNOVIC....

JAYCIE WEEKS....

22 24-25

SAVANNAH FRANCESCO....

26

VICTORIA PREVOST....

27

BRIANA SANTARSIERI....

28

DOZAWAI....

29

JODIE KNOWLTON....

31

MADISON WEST....

32-33

RIVER BENNETT....

34-35

PAUL KOHL....

36-37

THANK YOU/HELP....

39

Disclaimer: views, thoughts, images, writings and opinions expressed in the following zine belong solely to that creator, and not necessarily to every 5 artist involved in The Therapy Zine Group, etc.

6

Mazahir (@girthofvenus)

7

Thinking about how my lungs breathe, and what if they ceased. Not by enemies, but by the strings I’ve brought and tied them taught…

To God I’m a second thought.

8

How I Learned to Walk

by Nicolas Stevens

I learned to walk after 6 hours of surgery Where surgeons drilled holes through my tibia, fibia, and tarsals I learned to walk through a morphine/saline solution

I learned to walk in a wheelchair The same wheelchair I raced through elementary halls I learned to walk through the crushing pain of falling

I learned to walk upstairs on my crutches Because of the embarrassing privilege of being allowed to use the elevator I learned to walk through the shame

I walked through the needles buried in my bones Through the nuts and bolts that slowly pulled my leg apart I learned to walk one day at a time

I’m still learning how to walk How to hide the limp that will always be noticeable, especially when I run I learned to walk through 2 schools, 2 grades, 3 pairs of crutches, a wheelchair, and one vacation

I learned to walk while crawling

9

by Charles Neworth (@charles_neworth_art)

10

11

(art by Renee Agant)

His name was Grant. Two years of nothing, gotta love middle school.

My first crush had a very distinctive first name lol. Arik!

-@madisonkorey

- jayy_double_u

My gym teacher -L

Jordan, we almost kissed after talking about Spider-Man kisses, but then the bell rang.

Oh god. The first? Thomas.

-@briiielizabeth_

-@jodielocks

Madmartigan from Willow (Val Kilmer.)

Coming outta that tent shirtless...

Butterflies. He has a love spell on him

Ricky Martin

-@savannah_smiles727

-@anyonkavirgon

12

My first crush was in second grade, Her name was Michelle.

She was super touchy and always sat next to me. She held my hand during recess.

Her brother was an ass though.

- @4lluring3ngima

My first crushes name was Michal, He was my classmate. He was an adorable blonde. He always smelled good, and made me laugh a lot. He was one of the first people I told I was gay. Unfortunately he turned out to be a big homophobe. He dropped contact with me after that - @atepgod

I couldn’t tell you his name, if my life depended on it. I was in kindergarten. I just remember being infatuated with his face. His sister came to my house for a school project with my sister. He came along, it was the only time we ever spoke.

- @formugs

His name was Jorge, he was on a lot of the school sports teams. Wrestling, basketball, and football. I don’t know he was so cute and had the nicest smile. Till this day I’m still pretty Infatuated with him 13

-D

Who is Anyonka Virgon?

by Frankie Francesco (photos by Cecelia Dubal)

(As I sat down with Anyonka/Isake I couldn’t help but feel nervous, as we started to talk before the interview. The person across from me none other than the talented Isake Stark “ai-sah-kee” AKA Anyonka Virgon.

Cosplayer/Drag Queen currently located in Las Vegas. I began with:) I’ve never done an interview, so bare with me here? *laughs nervously*. I just knew I wanted you in our next issue. So first question; What is your full name, and where does it come from?

video games. So that was why I leaned more towards cosplay. ---Example so Sylvanas is a character in World of Warcraft, and she’s like bad-ass and awesome and cool. Those are the kind of characters I’d rather dress up as and be like. Then also just the fashion in the look, they’re so much more ornate. Most of the characters in anime or video games, they just look way cooler to me. ---And I just like cosplay, I think it’s fun I don’t create all of my cosplay. I wish I could cause I know those people who can. They just create their looks from head to toe, but that’s not me. I respect that art so much. How long have you been doing cosplay? “Umm...It will be going on for about three years now. I used to do it when I lived in Chicago and then I moved here about nine years ago I took maybe like a six-and-ahalf seven year break. Then started up again and the last year and a half/two years I’ve been going whole-hog into it. “That actually goes into my next question, how long have you been in Vegas?

“Well Anyonka is a name from Buffy, it’s spelled with an O instead of an A. Because in the 90’s when I’d play video games the name spelt correctly was always taken. So in World Of Warcraft I have a character named Anyonka. That was essentially me in drag but in a video game, I’ve had it forever even before I started drag. So with Virgon my last name. My favorite drag queen is Raja, and she uses her sign as her last name. So I’m a Virgo and in Battlestar Galactica they have all the planets named after signs. So it has a dual meaning it’s my sign, and it’s also one of my favorite shows and just a nerdy reference I like. I wouldn’t typically have a last name, but I did a pageant and you have to have a last name in a pageant. “ Such basic question but what first got you into cospl… do you consider it more cosplay or drag? “Cosplay” What first got you into cosplay?

“I had been living in Chicago before I came here, so right when I turned eighteen I got signed to a modeling agency. So every time I got a new contract that would move me somewhere else. I was originally in Miami, then I move to Seattle, then Chicago. I moved down here [Las Vegas] and I met my spouse, so if I hadn’t met him I probably would have just kept living a nomadic lifestyle. He has a good job here, and we started building a little kind of life here.” So your drag is very unique, I’ve seen a few other dabble in it. I know we’ve touched on this a bit already, but do you have anything or anyone specific you draw inspiration from?

“Mostly just...Those were my divas. So like most drag queens have their divas like Beyonce or Britney Spears, and they idolize them, and they want to be like these strong females. My strong female characters were from my books, TV shows, movies and my

14

“---my drag is for me.

When you do things that you love, it will convey to your audience�

15

and now I have too many. *laughs.* Ya you’re all over, even some of the straight bars.

I was wondering how does cosplay/drag make you feel, what is your favorite part?

“Game of Thrones is a huge inspiration to me, I have six Game of Thrones looks. Music too, one of my favorite things is to find a song that matches the character. When I do Arya I do the “a girl has no name” scene, then “I’m Just a Girl by No Doubt” will play. “Call Me Mother by Rupaul” plays when I do Daenerys because she’s the mother of dragons Then I have a look where I’m Ashe from Overwatch and “Baby Outlaw by Elle King” will play.

Mystique I do Lady Gaga’s “Perfect Illusion” or Rihanna’s “Skin” when I’m getting out of her skull belt look, and into the skin suit look.

It’s just fun finding music that matches the persona of the character. People will come up and they’ll say “I loved that song, I got why you picked it.” Whenever someone does that It makes me feel better about not being as great at other things. Because I’m mostly a comedic host queen, I’m just very organized, I’m on time, I put shit together, and implement it.” Well you’re kind of breaking the mold for Vegas, that’s what I personally like about it. Cause I’ve lived here my whole life and have never really seen that here. You see it online sometimes, but you’re kind of shaking things up here in Vegas.

“So that part that I was talking about when someone comes up, and they’re like “I love that character and I understood your reference.” Even if it’s just one person, if one person in the audience is like. “Oh my God, that’s my favorite character too and I really loved it.” That’s the best part and also sharing my favorite nerdy references to people. That’s what it is, If someone doesn’t recognize it they might be like, “oh, I love that song I’ve never heard it before. Where is it from?”

Cuz I don’t typically do top 40 songs, I try to do ones that are fitting to the character. So sometimes they’re older ones. I also love the characters reactions, when they’re like “What is this, it looks really cool I don’t know what that is, what is that from?” Then you can tell them and they can now be into the same things. So sharing your nerdy references and interests with people, that’s my favorite thing about cosplay.” What has been the brunt of the feedback, positive, negative?

“I wasn’t the first in any way shape or form, people like Britney Glam are way before me, and her stuff is cosplay as well. She does Mortal Kombat, genderbending The Grinch. She does all kinds of things.” True I like Britney Glam, especially her gore looks. So When did you decide to start adding performances to your hosting gigs? “Well... I actually would mostly do comic conventions doing cosplay.

That’s when I was like “I wanna do this, I’m sick of regular work, I’m sick of modeling.

I’d rather do something that I like and have a creative outlet and do it all the time.” So then I started going towards performing in other people’s shows, and it was fine and all.

I’m not much of a performer though. So if I wasn’t gonna be performing I needed to be hosting, and if I’m gonna be hosting I have to have my own show. So I started making my own show’s...

“I’ve always had really positive feedback from people. Other drag queens… No not so much… I mean there’s A LOT of VERY nice drag queens. There are also a lot of drag queens that... They view drag in a very rigid,

16

small minded way. Nails, big hair, animated huge makeup, or rhinestones. All this stuff that doesn’t always fit cosplay. As far as audience wise, I have fantastic feedback.

People bring me gifts *points to shelve filled with collectibles* someone made pearlers of characters I’ve cosplayed as. Is that Kiki?

“Yeah I love Studio Ghibli” *stops to talk about anime* ---Okay back to the interview *laughs* What are your favorite video games, animes/TV shows, and comic books?

Angel cause he’s hot, but he’s really just dumb and stupid and I don’t like him that much. I like Spike better.” I’m so glad you say that, now we can definitely be friends. *laughs* “And I think marry McCree cause he’s left, and also he’s really gentlemen like “M’lady” so I think he’d be a good marry option.” --- Where do you see yourself in the future and what is the end goal for you?

“My favorite comic book is Saga, my favorite anime… I think My Hero Academia, I’ve just been really hooked on it lately. I just like it.

I like the concept that it has of what is good and evil, what is actually being a hero. Are they just doing it for the fame? Or are they doing it because they actually want to be a good person? Same thing with Fullmetal Alchemist. --- Then my favorite video game is probably… I really love Bayonetta, I think she is just awesome. Because a lot of people take it the wrong way, and get a little bit too politically correct or whatever. With her being too sexualized, but to me the whole thing with “real feminism” is anyone can dress how they want. I can dress like a slut, and you will have respect and treat me right. I can dress however I want. Her being authentically herself, I think she’s just a powerful female character.

---My favorite TV show is probably Fringe or Buffy, I was obsessed with Buffy when I was younger. Obviously that’s where my name comes from. What I love about Fringe though is that it’s kind of the same thing I was saying with What is good and evil? Just the Idea of being so intelligent, and that you are so evolved that you’ve surpassed your humanity.

I also really like how the love story played out, the pacing was perfect and the relationship had real hardships like real ones do.”

---The most important question fuck, marry, kill. McCree (Overwatch), Wolverine (X-men) and Angel (Buffy)?

“I really wanna be on Rupaul’s Drag Race clearly, if you’re a drag queen and that’s not your end goal then you are insane. Cause It skyrockets you to a worldwide audience, and in the queer world there is not a lot of opportunities for stardom that we can get. I would ultimately love to be on Drag Race and then do the whole touring, and after the fame like dies out from the season. I would like to do touring myself and do the convention circuits.

So during the day I could just do conventions.

Do a booth, sell prints, and do whatever else.

I’d get to meet fans that are under the age of 21, cause that’s another unfortunate thing of

“I would…. Kill Wolverine because I’m so sick of them doing him. I’d probably just fuck

17

being a drag queen, cause you are usually in a bar. So you’re pigeonholed into this one group. So when you do conventions you can meet those young fans, then at night I can go and perform and do clubs. Then when I’m not touring or doing the convention circuit.

I’d really love to have my own cabaret style bar. Where people can sit and see a dinner show with nerdy elements. Cause that’s what I love, It’s a selfish thing to say but my drag is for me. When you do things that you love, it will convey to your audience though.

So like if it’s someone that I love, and I’m feeling the outfit and I love the song and I’m having fun. That’s what will draw people to you.” That’s what self-expression is all about though, You know I’ve never even thought about that, with the young fans that’s so true. “You’d be surprised at how many young kids I got to meet at DragCon, one little girl loves watching her mom play Legend of Zelda. And I used to do that as a kid I used to watch my mom play Resident Evil and Tekken and I was too young, but I would just watch her play them and I’d just have a good time. So the little girl recognized my Legend Of Zelda look which was Gerudo Link. I like doing that character because it’s this weird kind of inception-y thing. ---She was so shy, she wanted to come up and talk to me. So her mom told

me, “She really wants to say how much she likes your look, but she’s embarrassed” So I got down to her level and was talking to her, and she was telling me about the game, and all the things she loved about it. It was just like… such a pure, nice moment where it was this kid who was probably five or six years old. Telling me that I was her favorite character in a video game.” ---Is there anything that I didn’t ask that you’d like people to know?

“I think the biggest thing that people should know about drag and about cosplay or anything else is… Support your friends. Support your local friends that are doing magazines, *gestures to me* that are doing drag, or cosplay. Because the thing is there are alot of people who watch the shit out of Drag Race. At the same time those people are the ones who will say they love drag, but won’t ever come out to a single local show. You can’t decide to support someone when they decide to go do something huge like Drag Race, but not support someone when they are here doing grunt work. So that’s the last thing I want to put in. Support local friends, artists, drag queens, creators, even Businesses. Even just showing up helps, support local everything.

(Support Anyonka on: )

18

19

photos by david baeza (@elboogieman)

Queer Crosswords #2

Down 2. In 1952 this person’s transition brought widespread awareness to gender reassignment surgery.

Across 1. The earliest documents concerning same-sex relationships come from ancient ______.

5. In 1869 ____-_____ ________, coined the terms ‘homosexual’ and ‘heterosexual.’

6. Ancient _____ had third gender categories, including for eunuchs .

7. __________was of special interest to anthropologists and sociologists because of its historical acceptance of male homosexuality.

3. ____(‘rose’) is a colloquialism used to refer to a genre of Japanese comic art and media known within Japan as gay manga.

8. Prior to European ____________, a number of nations had respected roles for gay, bi, and gender-nonconforming individuals.

4. Stevonnie; An experience. Intersex, non-binary, they/them. Is a main character in what popular children’s series?

20

1. Greece, 2. Christine Jorgenson, 3. Bara, 4. Steven Universe, 5. Karl-Maria Kertbeny, 6. Egypt, 7. Siwa Oasis, 8. Colonization

21

Magui Antunovic

22

(collage by @magui.antu) (photo by @rominaguarda)

art by Renee Agant (@wyypipo)

23

: Mixed Feelings and Choices

by Jaycie Weeks

As an experienced gamer, I know it is not quite fair to compare one game to another, just because they come from the same developer. However, Until Dawn was a game that really took my heart and very quickly earned a place on my list of top games.

So, naturally, I was really looking forward to having another game that could bring me back to how I felt when I played Until Dawn for the first time. Man of Medan by Supermassive Games was a game that was able to give me that power and control to change my fate similar to Until Dawn, but was not quite able to capture me in the same way.

Man of Medan starts out in a very mysterious setting: you start out playing a character in the military who is investigating what happens on his ship, and then switches to telling the story of five young adults on a diving trip that run into trouble. The beginnings of games are never a good tell of the game, but in this case, the beginning of Medan was dreadfully slow. Not slow in the “Wow, I can’t wait for it to get good” kind of way, but more in the “Wow, how am I going to finish this game” way. But I told myself to push through it to really give it a chance.

Once the storyline began to really kick in and the mysterious themes and feelings began to freak me out a bit, Medan did start to peak my interest some more. While the characters are either obnoxiously cliché or just obnoxious as a whole (with the exception of the more reserved Brad), Medan has its own quirks that are enjoyable. There is a lot more of a choice 24

factor made into the game, where it seems that almost every single dialogue choice is chosen by the player, really giving the game a huge “butterfly effect� element to it. Due to these choices and changes, it definitely does make the journey through the game enjoyable, as you are eagerly anticipating what changes this choice is going to bring. On top of the stronger choice element, Medan made their QTEs (quick-time events) much quicker which forces the player to be much more involved in the storyline. There were a few times that I would put the controller down to try and text back one of my friends, and within that few seconds, one of the characters ended up getting punched in the face.

One thing that was revisited from Until Dawn was the horror factor. As you are discovering the mysteries behind what truly happened on the World War II freighter ship and exactly what connections Fliss has to everything, there are plenty of jumpscares, frightening scenes, and background secrets that will have you wondering if you actually saw something, or if your mind is playing tricks on you.

Overall, Man of Medan still has an interesting story, with plenty of personal choice and decisions to change the plotline to make the player excited to see how your small decisions will end up causing catastrophic situations later on. For me, Until Dawn left so much of a legacy that anything else by Supermassive is going to always fall short. Ultimately, view Man of Medan as its own game, and it is definitely an enjoyable experience. But if you are looking for a repeat of Until Dawn, it will fall short and leave you with disappointments.

25

Stray

by Savannah Francesco

You were a shadow in the night.

A small greeting each day A nudge at my leg A bowl of food for your kind hello A meow at my front door every morning A now comfortable shadow in my grass A friend.

I became your home & you became mine.

Now my friend is gone.

Each morning I open the door waiting for your hello.

Each day I expect to find you sleeping at my front door.

Each night I look for you in the yard.

I call out waiting for you to run my way my once stray.

26

E

m

e

r

by Victoria Prevost

g

e

What happened to you? You used to be so playful with the biggest imagination. You had a brightness to you that lite up the whole room when you entered and made them see us. Who took away those rose colored glasses that you saw the world through? The carefree spirit that danced around the room and spoke to the trees at the park. Did your fears lock you in a room to face what happened? Are acting out to see who notices because the ones who ignore you don’t care and the ones that do can’t help you? Oh did you think someone was going to save you. Get the fuck out of here they can barely save themselve let alone you. Start unpacking that dark shit you keep hidden. Welcome that darkness it’s not as scary as everyone says. You are allowing that darkness to seep through the light but in reality they are one in the same. Did you forget who you are and the power that you hold? Well let me remind you of your sovereignty, do you not understand the authority that you have within yourself. So stop allowing the no names to have influence on our lives and have governing power within our circle. Stop allowing them to keep hurting us and taking advantage. Emerge into your greatness know that you have the ultimate power and under your sovereignty you rule.

27

“Exhale�

Tiny bubbles rush to the surface as gravity pulls my body below Air escapes my lungs in small bursts and leaves me emptier How can you be fearful of the water when it provides solace in the silence The roaring of the waves above is no match for the stillness of the sea below I lay there lifeless dreaming of the peace that only the end can bring -Briana Elizabeth

28

29

Dozawai (@dozawai)

30

The Beast Inside Me by: Jodie Knowlton

This anger inside of me is like a beast that’s locked away.

It screams and growls and shakes it’s cage. And every day the cage gets weaker. I’m breaking. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. Everyone says I’m brave and strong for seeking help. But all I see is weakness. All I see is someone who’s out of control. Someone who’s an embarrassment. How can something so small make someone cry? How can just a few things make someone so angry? Am I still caging that beast? Or am I slowly becoming the beast? Angry and growling and shaking my cage. Throwing things and screaming. Crying out. I’m told if I just breathe a certain way I can calm myself. But sometimes walking away from that anger and taking one simple breathe feels like the hardest thing in the world.

Like the heaviest box is sitting on my chest. I’m desperate to breathe and be free but I’m trapped. Trapped in this cage because I am the beast. An angry monster crying out in pain because it seems like no one understands. I’m seeking help but I fear I’m not strong enough to change. I fear telling people will make them judge me. I fear that I won’t be able to stay in control and breathe. I fear that I’m gonna explode one day and ruin how my friends and family see me. I’m scared of myself. Scared of the beast that I see in the mirror.

The beast inside of me.

31

In The Woods Somewhere

by Madison West

Why was I lying here in the dark cabin after weeks of living here? Instead of turning on the lights and enjoying the warmth, I sat in the dark slowly figuring ways to stop everything. I lost it all. Needing money for my family and that shitty job controlling my life. I know I needed to care for my sister and mother, they were the only things important to me, yet they moved away. I stayed behind with all the pain of lost memories.

The woods gave a sense of isolation which would be the best way to end it all, I mean there was nothing left to give. The wind was whispering softly outside as if it were saying to finish the task at hand, pushing me to my final choice.

The one thing that kept me from ending it was the screaming outside I heard every night. The sound echoed off the trees as if a girl was screaming for her life. I ran out every night in search of this mysterious scream, determined to find the source. After every time I felt my whole body shut down, tonight on the other hand it was as silent as death, a sly way of the world pushing me towards it.

The leaves crunched under my boot as I walked around for my last goodbye.

Goodbye to my family. Goodbye to my pain. Goodbye to myself.

No one knows what happens after life ends but to me it was a welcoming fear.

The one good thing about the forest was all the different ways to execute my plan. Whether it was falling from the trees or slowly sinking under the lake, I had my options.

Climbing up to the top of my favorite tree, it was in a way my final words. This was the spot I sat for days, questioning life.

Looking down towards my swinging legs the height could be around thirty feet.

The branch felt solid between my legs and rough on my fingers. It was the only thing I could feel, the last touch before the end. Shedding a single tear, I took a deep breath swinging my leg over the branch. Now was the time, silence was welcoming yet the girl’s scream echoed throughout the woods. I froze, my body refusing to release my death grip on the branch. Why was this noise disturbing my silent end?

Looking down wisps of orange flew through the trees, at an unnatural speed, until the figure stopped at my tree.

The orange wisps focused into a fox. An ear-piercing scream could be heard from the fox. What I had been hearing was not a girl screaming but rather a fox howling through the forest. The fox’s snout pointed up at me before whimpering and dropping to the floor.

Did the fox want me to come to it, as if it was whimpering for me? I watched its black eyes as I crept down the branches carefully. Reaching the bottom of 32

the trunk I kneeled down beside the fox.

There was blood dripping from its back-left leg and the sickening image of its bone hung out. The poor creature was slowly dying in front of me, if we were at my cabin I would be able to help yet we sat in the forest without anything.

I could see the pain in the fox’s eyes. I knew I had only one choice, end its life and end its misery. It was the only way.

I grabbed the nearest object around me, a heavy stone. My hand shook, as did my breath, from knowing what I was about to do to the poor creature.

A sharp yelp came from the fox causing me to drop the stone behind me. I stared dumbfounded at the fox. My eyebrows furrowed, questioning what the fox was doing. I huffed, great another thing wrong with me.

I shook my head but spoke anyways it’s not like anything would change, “How can I help little fox?” This was one of the craziest things I have done since trying to jump from a tree, but here we are.

The fox was silently staring at me. “Oh, sorry there. I just saw the broken leg and blood. I wasn’t sure how to help other than to end your life.” The fox yipped almost like a scuff, as if my words were ridiculous. The fox stood on four legs and turned to show their hind leg.

The leg looked perfect, at this point my mind must be in a delirious state. I mean I was just about to jump out of a tree so at this point nothing was too much. “How in the hell did this happen? You were just bleeding, and I saw your bone!” My voice broke at the end of the sentence.

My head was starting to get heavy and I felt as if I could pass out at any moment. Black spots began to pop up in my eyes. My throat felt like it was closing in a panic.

The fox was staring through me in a defensive pose, he could hear something I couldn’t. My heart was pounding knowing there was something behind me ready to kill me. It was either focus on breathing or turning around, air was better. I wanted to be in control of my life, not something else doing it for me.

The growl came from both sides, the fox and whatever creature wanted to eat me alive. There was a blur of orange and black causing me to fall backwards.

A panther began wrestling the fox, aiming at its neck. My heart was in my ears and my breath was halted. The fox began to bleed, and I backed away slowly. I stumbled over my feet as I got into a full run.

My eyes were blurry, and my lungs were empty. The cabin went from smaller to larger as I sprinted towards it. I ripped open the door and closed it behind me. I felt my life was barely here and I was about to give it away only moments ago. Losing that control was not supposed to happen, I was the only who chose what happened.

Maybe staying around wouldn’t be so bad.

33

34

35

photos by River Bennett (@rvr.photo)

One Night

by Paul Kohl

One night in 2007 I was invited to go to a local bar, Buffalo where I was born and raised. My friend was bar tending that night, and I was underage only 20 years old at the time. So of course I’m going to go, even though I had a fake ID it was nice to know the bartender. Myself and my good friend at the time Corey went to have a fun night out. What we didn’t know is that this fun filled night was going to end in a very horrible way. We stayed at the bar till last call 4am. We both were drinking pretty heavily, my bartender friend was being pretty heavy-handed on our cocktails. We had a pretty cheap bar tab at last call, it was time for us to head home. I was blacked out drunk and I chose to drive home. It would only be less than 10 minutes to drive from the bar back to my house. Corey was going to crash for the night.

So we hop in my brand new Scion TC and we started heading home. Being blacked out I don’t remember driving at all, so this is what I have been told by my friend. We were two blocks away from my house. I was told I started speeding up going faster and faster down this dark twisted road. I hit speeds over 100mph and lost control of the car. The car started to whip its self back and forth, I recall flashes of this memory of the car doing this. I then crashed into a ditch at a high rate of speed, through a metal fence and proceed to go up the side of a highway overpass that was adjacent to the road I was on. Then I slammed into the highway guard rail. I wake up from my blackout to a ball of metal and my passenger passed out and bleeding from his face. I thought he was dead I check his pulse, to my relief he was breathing.

I start climbing out of the car, if you can even call it that anymore. Trying to recollect myself, seeing what I hit, and if anyone else was hurt. Then I notice we are on a steep incline next to the highway. I was in shock and waking up from drunken black out. I had no idea where I was what I was doing or even what just happened. In a panic I call my mom telling her I crashed my car. I tell her Corey is still passed out. As I’m saying this my friend wakes up and jumps out of the car.

He starts yelling “we gotta go, we gotta go.” Grabbing me and dragging me down this hill, he takes off and I start walking home. As soon as I get in the door my mom starts feeding me. Peanut butter, bread and water, she was trying to sober me up. She knew I was going to be talking to the police soon.

This must of been very hard on my parents, they already lost one daughter to drunk driving. Then their other daughter who was in that car also ended up living. Not without some major PTSD and other mental health issues. So for my parents to get that phone call from me had to be traumatizing. My father comes home I put on sweatpants and a hoodie because I thought I was going to jail.

36

It was a Friday night so I wouldn’t see a judge till Monday. As I’m thinking I hear my father yelling for me to come to the kitchen. I had to take my dad to where my car was, the police were already there taking notes. We get to the scene and the first thing they ask me to do is the field sobriety test, of course I failed miserably.

Then comes the breathalyser, seeing I was three times over the legal limit I failed that. I jump into my dads truck as he talked to the officer. I know I’m going to jail and I’m scared.

The officer comes back to talk to me and tells me that I should go to jail. He goes on to say “ ---because you were cooperative and worked with the officer I’m gonna let you go.” With a handful of tickets and court date but no DUI/DWI or jail time. Thank God that me and my friend Corey lived to see another day, he has no ongoing issues from the crash. As for myself I injured my back pretty bad in the wreck, and still deal with that to this day. I ended up with a pretty bad spinal injury. I was on some very strong pain medicine OxyContin, this turned into me becoming addicted to opiates at 20 years old.

This went on for many years I used to “doctor shop” anything I could get my hands on. When that didn’t work I’d get what I could from the streets. I decided to go into a Suboxone program to deal with my addiction. (Suboxone a prescription medication used in treating those addicted to opioids.) Suboxone blocks the opiate receptors and reduces a person’s urges. I have seen many people overdose and pass away, from acquaintances to some of my best friends. Opiates are no joke and can very much be deadly. Please listen when I say if you are going to enjoy a night out with friends or family DON’T drink and drive. Yeah you might get away with it now, but at some point your not and you might end up with a story like mine someday or worse.

If you know anyone dealing with an Opiate addiction and would like some information please go to: http://drughelpline.org/opiate-hotline Suboxone help: https://www.suboxone.com Methadone help: http://drughelpline.org/methadone-hotline Mental Health / Suicide Hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org 37

Empty Me

a playlist by Frankie Francesco Werewolf - CocoRosie PrettyGirlz - WILLOW When I Grow Up - Fever Ray No Below - Speedy Ortiz Downtown - Tegan & Sara hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have, but i have it - Lana Del Rey Love, Come And Save Me - Right Away, Great Captain!

Take Us Back - Alela Diane The Con* - Shura Killer - Phoebe Bridgers Go Home - Julien Baker

38

Thank you for joining us for the second issue of Therapy. It’s been exhilarating being able to share all these talented creators with you. We want to invite our readers to explore all their other projects. Check out our new YouTube channel, where we will be integrating the zine and expanding our creative endeavors. Be sure to reach out to us if you want to be a part of the next issue. We hope you will join us in exploring some bigger ideas we have coming.

Always remember everything about you is valid.

-The Therapy Group

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

1-800-273-8255

Trans Lifeline

39

1-877-565-8860

THERAPY issue two: The second issue welcomes in new and returning creators, and offers an inside look into the Vegas drag scene. Puzzles, short stories, performances, art and more. If this is your first time reading Therapy; we are a queer zine created by Frankie Francesco. Bringing together passionate, timid, experienced, & amatuer creators of various talents.

A place of growth & self-expression, absolutely free of judgment. Join The Therapy Group where you’re not only welcome, but you are celebrated. Find your voice with us as we find ours, submissions are always welcome.

FrankieFrancescoArt@gmail.com // @TherapyZine Copyright Š 201940 Frankie Francesco