MY
Authentic Life
magazine
Success? WHAT IS
EMOTIONAL IQ MADE
Easy
THE POWER OF THE
Butterfly Effect
CHRISTY WHITMAN
The Art of Having It All
OCTOBER 2017
MY
Authentic Life
magazine
Imagine All The Possibilities
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C O N T R I B U T E R S
Maria Rea As the founder of MY Authentic Life Magazine, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read our extraordinary publication. We aspire to empower and inspire you with articles written by our amazing writers. I believe we are all here for a reason greater than ourselves and to serve a divine purpose. It’s how we choose to react to what is placed before us that allows us to succeed.
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MY
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MY Authentic Life magazine is a monthly publication that encourages others to live their best life. MY Media and Publishing Group makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we do not make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of MY Media and Publishing Group. For inquiries e-mail maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com. 10 | MY Magazine
contributing writers
Kathryn Andries Patrick Andries The Dream Experts
Amanda Butler Slade
Liz Bull
Mella Barnes
Carol Benson
Sharon Carne
Wini Curley
Liberty Forrest
Tamara Green
Dean Griffiths
Dr. Nekeshia Hammond
Laura Jack
David Larson
Judy Lipson
Lisa Marie Platske
Corey Poirier
Ellen Rogin
Kate Sholonski
Dr. Kate Siner
Janette Stuart
Gary Stuart
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 11
from the publisher
Simple Pleasures Hello and welcome to the October issue of MY Authentic Life magazine. As I am writing this to you, the wind is blowing and my chimes are ringing loud and clear outside my window. At a glance, I see the leaves are turning colors and falling from the trees. I absolutely love this time of year. I would like to talk to you today about taking the time to stay connected, seek out and enjoy the simple pleasures that life has to offer. Stop and breath in all the different smells, notice the incredible colors around you and hear all the different sounds. The world is amazing, and I for one, am really happy I am here to experience it.
“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”
—Laura Ingalls Wilder
So much of our time is spent in the craziness of our day-to-day lives; it’s no wonder that by the end of the day we are exhausted. Rushing through traffic, getting dinner on the table, helping our children do their homework, bathing and putting them to bed. By the time we have a moment, it’s so late that all we want to do is collapse into our own bed. I would like to share with you a couple of suggestions I recommend each day to reconnect. • Upon waking in the morning, lay for just a few minutes to breath in the crisp air. Tell yourself that this is going to be a great day and that you eagerly look forward to all the experiences that day has to offer. • While driving to work or after you drop off your children at school, take a moment to be very conscious about what you are thinking. Do your thoughts serve you, or are you focusing on the negative? If you find yourself focusing on something negative, imagine those negative thoughts floating out of your mind and replace them with positive ones. The more conscious you are in your thinking and the more positive your thinking is, the more at ease you will become. • Find a quite spot for just 5,10 or 15 minutes throughout the day. Close your eyes and think about absolutely nothing. If a though comes into your head, visualize wrap it up in box and place in on a shelf so you can deal with it later. This is your time. • At night before you dose off to sleep, think about the things you are grateful for in that moment. Really feel the gratitude, then drift off to sleep. By doing a few simple things throughout, you can reconnect in a way that makes our life flow with peace and ease.
Maria Rea – Publisher maria.mymediagroup.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 12 | MY Magazine
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feature
page 18
Christy Whitman The Art Of Having It All!
16 | MY Magazine
MY Authentic Life
Self-Growth
Simply Spiritual
26 From Miserable to Magical
54 Talk to Tamara Univeral Laws
32 Don’t Think About a Purple Striped Apple
58 Emotional IQ Made Easy
84 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean
36 A Helping Hand to People and Their Communities
64 Allow Your Soul to Guide & Navigate 70 Going Home
40 Helping Your Children Handle Bullies
74 How To Keep Your Personal Power
44 Age of Celebration
78 How to Live an Authentic Life After Loss
46 Trick or Treat School Bullying is No Fun!
80 Experiencing Hatred from a Perfect Stranger
86 A New Soul Song for Humanity 90 The Power of the Butterfly Effect 94 Personal and Spiritual Transformation
Wealth Consciousness 100 What is Success? 104 Great Leaders Ask Great Questions 108 Money Messages Delivered by Mother Nature
Healthy Living 114 How Seasons Influence Your Mindset 118 The Happiness Habit
October 2017
Christy Whitman
18 | MY Magazine
THE ART OF
Having It All! by Maria Rea
R
ecently I had the pleasure of spending time with Christy Whitman, she is a true inspiration. I loved her spunky, out-of-thebox, grounded, limitless and spiritual personality. With her welcoming persona and her genuine all-encompassing interest in helping those around her, she makes it exciting to want to hang out and have a cup of coffee with her. Christy Whitman is a two-time New York Times best-selling author, the creator of a library of personal development programs and the founder of an internationally acclaimed coaching academy. Her life’s work is to transform the quality of people’s lives by teaching them tools to manifest their hearts desires. It’s a purpose that lights her up and nourishes her deeply. Christy believes in creating relationships that are built on trust in every area of her life. She has manifested and
is married to, the love of her life, Frederic, who is also her business partner. Christy has two amazing boys, Maxim, (7) and Alex (8) who she connects with, talks with and rolls on the floor with every single day. “My relationship with Frederic and the boys brings me incredible joy.” Christy shares. Christy grew up in a home with her Father, Mother, and older sister, and although her life was filled with love, it was also filled with many rules. Being a child of great communication and having the unique gift of expressing herself in a nonconforming way, Christy was quick to break all of the rules. “ I was always a rebel. My mom would tell me that I need to wear my shoes and socks in the house and I would respond with a challenging “Why” taking them off as quickly as I could. I was told I couldn’t eat in front of the TV, so I ate in front of the TV. I couldn’t sit on the bed so I sat on the bed.
I felt my mom had so many rules that it was my role to be the rule breaker. Growing tired of my persistence, my mom would finally give up and give in, which was great because honestly, I didn’t know how to survive any other way,” Christy shares with a smile. “I have never liked imposing limits and definitely didn’t like having limits put on me. I have learned that the deeper part of me has always been in that place of freedom, expansion, and abundance and that is the place I feel most connected to.” Relationship building is one of the most important aspects of life. Looking back on her childhood experiences and reviewing how her parent’s interacted with each other has taught Christy the importance of coming together as one and respecting each other’s decisions without judgment. “There was no doubt my parents loved each other very much, but the way that they related to each other was in myauthenticlifemagazine.com 19
MOMENT’S THAT CHANGE US FOREVER There are moments in our lives that change who we are. These moments could be as subtle as a compliment at just the right time, or encouragement when needed most, or they could be more profound like the birth of a child or the dead of a loved one.
huge contrast for me and it has taught me how to really appreciate the relationship I have with my husband now. We lead with love as best as we can and have learned to love each other even in the moments that we have our lower selves running the show. Contrast is a part of living. How would we know what we DO want if we don’t’ know what we DON”T want, so I am grateful for the experience.” With many others living a life of lack and limitation, Christy unknowingly realized at a very young age that she did not want to live that way. By breaking the rules, it taught independence in knowing that she could do anything she put her mind to. In High School, Christy was a pomp girl, captain of her team, homecoming queen and won an award for “Miss Congeniality.” She was living her American dream. 20 | MY Magazine
In her twenty’s, Christy experienced one of those profound moments. “ I lost my sister 20 years ago to suicide, it was one of the most tragic happenings of my life. Although I miss her every day, she served an amazing purpose in my life. Having done a lot of work and healing around her suicide, I now understand why she did what she did. When she took her own life, it actually helped me awaken to my life’s journey. I owe what I am doing now to my sister and what she has taught me. I will never forget the day she passed. I was at a meditation retreat for “Light Body”, which is one of the healing techniques I do. It was a Monday morning, and the instructor asked us to do a healing meditation on someone we knew. At 8:15 am, I was giving a full healing and holding healing space for my sister when a vision of her appeared. My friend that was
attending the retreat with me was holding the same healing space for her and saw her vision as well. At the end of the day, I returned home and that is when my mom called to tell me that my sister had taken her own life and that the time of death was 8:15, the same time I saw that vision of her. When we went to retrieve her possessions, we had lunch at a café that was on the beach where my sister and I use to hang out. While eating, this song from Sarah Mclaughlin came on, ‘I will remember you’, in listening to it, one of the lines in the song was ‘you gave me all that you had, you gave me light.’ That was actually the first time I connected with my sister after her passing, and now she is with me all of the time. I recently had a dream where I was frantically looking for her saying, where is she? Where is she?’ And in that moment she stood up and said, I’m here, I’m always with you! And I believe that she is.”
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT Working as a pharmaceutical rep and coaching clients on the weekend, Christy found herself in the midst of having to make a huge transition in her life. She realized that after ending an eight-year relationship and five-year marriage, her life was taking her on a new journey. “Yes, my marriage had ended. He was a wonderful man and
“Most of us find ourselves stuck in that place of knowing and focusing on what we don’t want. I don’t want to gain weight, I don’t want to get sick, I don’t want to get caught in traffic, I don’t want him to do this, or I don’t want to show up that way. It’s okay to identify what you don’t want but to accomplish great things you must always focus on what you do want.” – Christy Whitman
our time together gave me great clarity in what I really wanted in a person. Shortly after we made the decision to part, I happened to get a promotion moving from a sales rep to a sales manager in my corporate job. This required that I move from California to Pennsylvania.” There are times in our lives when things happen not to us, but for us and that is what happened for Christy shortly after moving to Pennsylvania. “Within 3 months of my move, I meet Frederic who had traveled from Canada to attend an event
I was attending. Frederic and I instantly fell in love, and in a very short time, I found myself having to make yet another life-altering decision. Frederic had a brick and mortar business in Canada and I had a career where I was making well over $100,000 a year, but knew eventually what I really wanted was to coach others. So I took a leap of faith, not knowing how my coaching career was going to evolve and began my new life with Fredric. I was confident that if I made the commitment to work fulltime to become a coach, I could make it work. I also knew that my job was not the source of my abundance, I was.”
It was the beginning of a new adventure and when Christy truly embraced living her purpose, she never looked back. It was through great determination and manifestation that in eight short months, she found herself making more money than she could ever have thought possible. Living with an abundance mentality allowed Christy to create her perfect life, one she enjoys today. “ Having an in-home nanny and being able to work from home, I’ve gotten to see everything
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 21
offers programs, books and coaching opportunities like no other. Being a visiondriven company, they hold core values such as; living your dreams, caring about one another, encourage fun and humor, going the extra mile, education, and is built on honest relationships.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT Frederic, Christy, Alex and Maxim
first hand. The first time they crawled, the first time they walked, had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with them, changed a diaper and roll around on the floor all before returning to a coaching call. I feel very fulfilled as a mom and it is amazing! Maxim is now 7 and Alex is 8 and I love every stage of their lives. I am blessed.“
CORE VALUES Christy and her team are dedicated to making a positive difference in the lives of their clients. Through programs and products, they empower coaches and people who are interested in personal development creating the success they desire while discovering and living their dreams. They believe in; the growth of people, being of service, living in integrity, and having fun. Christy’s Quantum Success Coaching and Quantum Success learning Academy
22 | MY Magazine
Christy has many books that she has written over the years including “Perfect Pictures; An Inspirational Book For Those Who Like It Perfect,” “Taming Your Alpha Bitch; How to Be Fierce AND Feminine (And Get Everything You Want!),” along with her most recent book published in 2015 “The Art Of Having It All; A Woman’s Guide To Unlimited Abundance. Christy is currently working on a new book to be released 2018 on how to apply the universal laws to your career space. Christy also has a library of personal development programs and videos.
QUANTUM SUCCESS COACHING ACADEMY The Quantum Success Coaching Academy is a 12-month Law of Attraction academy that was founded in 2008. Christy has certified over 3000 amazing coaches and is really proud of the success of each and every one of them. Her advanced courses such as “creating money practitioner” course, “Reiki” course, plus a variety of other courses, makes her academy an award-winning experience. “ I am so proud of the amazing coaches we have taught over the years. We provide an environment of healing and life shifts, with relationships, money, and career, and then help others to do the same. Another popular program is our ideal body program. Most people will tell you it’s diet and exercise, and yes those are important, but the third and largest element is the mindset. If you have limiting beliefs, no matter what you eat or how much you exercise, you will continue to sabotage yourself. You have to attract or draw from your own experience to get the results that you want.”
THE ENLIGHTENED KID PROGRAM Often times, things happen in our lives to catapult us into creating something that we might otherwise have not done. Living in the realm of ‘life doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us’ is what brings us to a program Christy teaches, “The enlightened kid.” “”My son Maxim had to have open heart surgery when he was 2 months of age leaving him confined to the hospital for a month. Getting the news that they had never performed this kind of surgery on a two-year-old baby before, I just turned to my husband and said; ‘okay, there is nothing else that we are going to focus on but him, we need to be vigilant about this. I only see Maxim at home with the four of us together wrestling and rolling around on the floor, him growing older, and all of us going to Disneyland, and Frederic agreed. This means we were not going to allow anyone else around him who cannot hold this vision so we wouldn’t let anyone
else see him except the two of us. We would go to the hospital and talk to him about all the fun we were going to have, read him books, and sing him songs. So as Maxim was going through surgery, Fredric and I created the Enlightened Kid program. This is for parents to teach their kids about the law of attraction and how to be mindful in their thoughts. We created activity books and meditations for the parents, along with lullabies to lull their babies to sleep and affirmation posters to help. This is a step by step process for all ages up to 8 years.
perspective can be shifted. If there is a possibility of lack, there is a possibility of abundance, and we get what we focus on. The way we focus is on the thoughts that we think, the emotions that we have, the beliefs and perspectives that we hold, what we say and what we do. Most people hold contrast of what they don’t want but by asking ourselves these 3 questions, we can completely change our lives. Whenever you find yourself focusing on something you don’t want, ask:
To read Christy’s full story of the miracle that surrounded Maxim or to find out more about the Enlightened Kid Program please visit enlightenedkid.com
2. Why do I want it?
CHRISTY’S ADVICE FOR LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE Start focusing on what is true and real, that you and your life are unlimited. Any way that you feel you are limited is a perspective of lack, and that
1. What do I want?
3. How do I want to feel? You have the ability to connect with what you do want and when you do that, you’re working from the inside-out, not the outside-in. That is when real change happens. To find out more about Christy Whitman, the programs she offers, and the books she has written, please visit christywhitman.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 23
Loving MY Authentic Life
FROM MISERABLE TO MAGICAL
MY SURPRISING TRAVEL MIRACLE by Wini Curley, Ph.D.
T
his true story is about a miracle that happened when I was late leaving for the airport. At the end of a threeday conference in Tampa, I drove to Orlando to visit my
26 | MY Magazine
Mom before flying home. The whole day was running late. The conference session ended late. The restaurant was so slow serving lunch to our group, that I asked for mine in a to-go box.
Even the traffic on I-4 was slower than usual. During my visit with Mom, I suddenly noticed the time. Yikes! It was 20 minutes after
my drop dead time to leave for the airport. I usually allow a minimum of 45 minutes to drive to the airport, get gas on the way, return the rental car, get my bag checked, and arrive at the security line. By the time I left Mom and got in the car, I had 25 minutes to do all that. The drive alone takes about that long on a good day. My internal conversation started spitting out negatives like a machine gun. You’ll never make it. You are so DUMB to be late again. You will miss the flight. No way you will get there in time to make it through security. Just accept you can’t do it. Stress and anxiety filled me. My energy spiraled down into resignation, and I could feel defeat settling in. I had been reading the book E2 by Pam Grout. I completely agree with her statements that the Field of Potentiality (or the Universe/Source energy/ God as I call it) is always there to support you. I decided I was open to having a miracle happen right now. OK. I’m with you, Pam. Let’s see if I can access that energy and manifest being on this flight. I knew I had to detox my internal conversation immediately. I became aware of just how strong and automatic my negative response was. I could feel the tug of war between succumbing to those negatives, versus connecting to the positive thoughts and intentions I needed to make my flight.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 27
I stayed focused on my goal. My energy and intention were positively directed to what I wanted to happen, rather than focusing on what I feared, or didn’t want to happen. Each time it popped up, I let go of the negative energy I was feeling, released doubt and fear, and consciously shifted my focus to positive feelings and thoughts. I can make it. The traffic and lights will flow smoothly. I will make this flight. I don’t have to know exactly how. This is going to work! It became an intentional mantra of thoughts and positive feelings as I drove. At the rental car return, a new lane opened just as I drove
28 | MY Magazine
in. I went to the front with no waiting to get processed. Out of nowhere, a man immediately walked up with a luggage dolly and asked if I needed help. I have never seen baggage service people in that area before! ““I have a Delta flight that leaves in less than an hour,” I said. “Can you get my bag on board?” He looked at his watch and said: “If we hurry, I can.” We hurried.
bag without me having to wait in the long line.
There was a 20 person checkin line for bags at Delta, but a self-serve ticket kiosk was open with no line. While I printed my boarding pass, my helper (who got a very nice tip) found a Delta agent, told them my timing problem, and they checked my
Soooo many things had to fall into place for me. Traffic, rental car return, bag check, support people, and security all had to align with my intention to make the flight. Here are the three steps you can use to set yourself up to attract that kind of aligned
At security, there were hundreds of people leaving Orlando (imagine Sunday evening in the land of Disney). However, there were only 3 people ahead of me for TSA pre-check!! I cleared security, hopped on the tram, and was at the gate with 15 minutes to spare. It definitely felt like a miracle!
What negative ‘I can’t’ story are you telling yourself about something that you really want to accomplish? Tell yourself a new story. Change your internal conversation and energy to the positive, and ACT in alignment with that intention. Become Aware of releasing your negative thoughts and feelings. Consciously Choose and energetically align with a positive outcome. Trust and believe you will be supported. You can literally change your world!
support for your goals. Use this approach and ACT according to your desired outcome: AWARENESS – Pay attention to your negative thoughts and how giving in to them can shut down the possibility of success. Don’t let the circumstances keep you from seeing and feeling the presence of positive outcomes. CHOICE – Consciously choose a positive outcome. This includes choosing positive thoughts and feelings over the negative. Keep your energy from spiraling into resignation and defeat. Instead, connect to the feeling of what it is like to succeed. Intentionally align your internal conversation with that. TRUST – Believe that you will be supported and that you don’t have to know exactly how that will happen. Be alert and open to accepting that support
when it does show up. Follow up with gratitude for that support. Using the ACT approach, you can detox your internal conversation and negative energy from moment to moment, and stay connected to the positive. Like me, you can completely change your experience from miserable to magical. I teach my clients to detox their internal conversations and focus positive energy and clear intention for a specific desirable outcome. This is a key to getting the results you want in business and life. Being late while traveling seriously tested my ability to do just that. However, the time urgency of my ‘travel miracle’ was a clear reminder of just how quickly you can shift your real world situation with conscious choices about your internal conversation and intention for the outcome.
Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win - whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites. Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success. Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www.GiftsFromWini.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 29
DONATE NOW
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FOR MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP GO TO STCLAIRBUTTERFLYFOUNDATION.ORG
C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar! Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.
Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse. Let’s help these children find their voice. Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity. Listen to Chip and Lisa’s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio
Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! myauthenticlifemagazine.com 31 It shows that they are loved and that they deserve to be heard.
DON'T THINK ABOUT A PURPLE STRIPED APPLE
D
by Liberty Forrest
on’t think about a purple striped apple. Whatever else you think about for the next two minutes, do not think about a purple striped apple.
like, don’t imagine what kind of purple it is, and don’t imagine whether the stripes are vertical, horizontal, or twisty ones like a barber pole (Oh, that would be pretty if it was spinning!).
Think about rainbows or flowers or cats in pajamas or a new house or marshmallows but just don’t think about a purple striped apple. Don’t imagine what it looks
Don’t wonder if it’s a red apple with alternating purple stripes, or if it’s an apple that is only different shades of purple stripes. Get any images of a purple
32 | MY Magazine
striped apple out of your head. On another topic... What have you done so far today? Depending on where you are in the world, and what time zone you’re in, and what time you read this, that might only be that you’ve barely got out of bed. Or you could be heading back there shortly.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 33
When you’re thinking about what you don’t want, you’re not thinking about what you do want. Was it a good day - or is it shaping up that way? What have you got on your mind right now? Work stuff? Deadlines? Laundry? Playtime? If that purple striped apple wanders through, don’t think about it! Now... sit quietly for a moment. Just close your eyes and let your mind be still - just for a minute. I’ll wait... Okay, what were you thinking about during that little break? I don’t suppose that purple striped apple popped in, did it? Chances are, it did. At least for part of the time. It’s human nature to think about what we’re told (or tell ourselves) not to think about. Like “Don’t think about that itch.” As you’re saying those words to yourself, you are still thinking about it. And itching more by the second. So you’re still focusing your energy and attention on it. When you’re thinking about what you don’t want, you’re not thinking about what you do want. And when you’re not thinking about what you do want, you’re not doing anything toward making it a reality. If you’re constantly thinking about how you don’t want to be sick anymore, the emphasis is on being sick and you’re not putting your energy toward being well. If you’re always 34 | MY Magazine
thinking about how you’re fed up with not having a job, you’re not spending those moments or that energy doing something about finding one. If you’re continually thinking about how you don’t like the situation you’re in, you’re not thinking about ways to get out of it. There have been various studies done to determine whether or not there is any truth to the Law of Attraction. One need only investigate some of the quantum physics evidence in support of this Natural Law. Or read “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill - originally published in 1937 and still being touted by global thought leaders as an exceptionally powerful book for those who are interested in manifesting their hearts’ desires. As well, recent brain imaging studies show that the brain conforms in its function to the Law of Attraction. In part, it is because the brain responds to what it’s being fed. For example, think about how your body responds physically when you’re watching a frightening or suspenseful film. Your brain is responding to the thoughts and emotion of fear or anxiety by sending “fight or flight” messages to your body. Your pulse races, your
heart pounds, your respiration increases. Your subconscious can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not. If it believes something is real, it will get to work finding a way to make it so. There are only two things in the universe: energy and matter. Energy has the ability to form, move and manipulate matter. Your thoughts produce energy. Therefore, whatever energy your thoughts are producing will be reflected in your environment. So think about being well, having that job you’ll love, being in a situation that makes you happy. See it, feel it, imagine it, visualize it. Take all of those “I don’t want this anymore” thoughts and change them into thoughts of what you do want. That’s the only way you’re ever going to have a chance to make it happen. Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution.
Lead The Way In Your Community, Organization or Foundation
IT’S NOT JUST A MAGAZINE
It’s a Lifestyle!
Our Vision is a universe that models integrity, cultivates creativity and embraces uniqueness. Together we create a world where everyone has a sense of purpose, lives their passion, and celebrates community by empowering others to live their best life.
Maria Rea
Create your own magazine & be a part of the movement! myauthenticlifemagazine.com 35 FOR MORE INFORMATION, E-MAIL MARIA AT MARIA.MYMEDIAGROUP@GMAIL.COM
A HELPING HAND TO PEOPLE AND THEIR COMMUNITIES by Maria Rea
They pride themselves on likeminded support in health, lifestyle, and business, drawing members of a holistic nature. The Holistic Chambers Mind, Body, Spirit, Business, Budget, Planning model, encompasses all aspects of businesses, bringing a snapshot of who they are full circle. Educating around the word “Holistic” is an ongoing process for Camille and the Holistic Chamber. Over the years people of have taken on different personas as to what Holistic actually means and some can be of a negative nature.
T
he Holistic Chamber of Commerce is an international organization founded by Camille Leon in October 2010. It is an international trade organization for professionals, practitioners, business owners and resource providers, as well as a community coming together 36 | MY Magazine
in support of a cause. As a Member-focused organization, they have an ever-expanding online presence, and a network of members and local chapters, making it easier for consumers to learn about and access holistic, natural and eco-friendly products, services and solutions.
“Part of our role as a Holistic Chamber of Commerce is to change the image, reputation, and public perception of what it means to be holistic,” Camille shares. “For example, I use the term esoteric and unique when I talk about some of our energy medicine professionals. I explain it as emotional healing or healing stress issues to better explain should someone not understand.” The Holistic Chamber of Commerce stands for excellence and does a great service in
bridging the gap between conventional and alternative medicine for health professionals and their members.
LOCAL CHAPTERS AND BEYOND Celebrating their 7th year, the Holistic Chamber of Commerce is changing the world one community at a time featuring 55 local chapters coast to coast in the US and Canada. As a global organization, they have an online directory for all members who are reference reviewed and approved, as well as local organizations holding monthly meetings to connect
directly to their communities in a way that supports them. In joining a local chapter, you are exposed to many local businesses, networking opportunities, structured introductions and announcements, as well business building and brainstorming opportunities. In getting to know your community on a deeper holistic level, you benefit by an exchange of ideas, experiences, and insights as well as empowerment and inspiration. The Holistic Chamber encourages a collaborative and cooperative environment. The connections you make through
your local chapter, will not only create awareness around what you as a business owner or consumer are doing but will create lasting relationships and support. “If we don’t know that businesses are out there, we don’t know to ask about them.” Camille shares. “For example, there are salons that do organic manicures and others that do vegan manicures, but many people may not even know that those exist, therefore they wouldn’t even know to ask for them. So creating awareness is an important factor of the Holistic Chamber.“
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Chamber has a Facebook member’s only group where its members are privy to member’s only content. They also have the opportunity to interact with other members, learn about them and bring exposure your business.
ANNUAL CONFERENCE AND GATHERING Celebrating the significant success of their 1st annual conference in 2016, the Holistic Chamber of Commerce is excited to continue the tradition with their 2nd annual HCC Conference & Gathering, October 20th and 21st 2017, in Manhattan Beach, Los Angeles, CA. There you will receive Content, Connection, community and collaborate with like-minded professionals and business owners from all over the US and Canada. “At our event, you will learn how to manage your time, get and keep customers, clients, and patients, clarity around your marketing needs, as well as, ways to help mainstream consumers connecting them with mind-body medicine in a way that is good for all. We will have panels of experts on many topics with many different views. It is wonderful Keynote speaker, Teresa de Grosbois. to learn from others who have walked Founder, Camille Leon. the path before you. This is a conference and gathering, not a convention. You will not leave GLOBAL CHAPTER feeling overwhelmed but rather connected and encouraged.“ Camille Shares. Although all members have access to the global online chapter, there are over 200 people who The Holistic Chamber of Commerce strives to are online members only, as they may not have a open doors that may otherwise not be. They local chapter near them. Members of the online extend a hand of welcome to each and every chapter have a member’s only access area. In member no matter where they are in their life this area, they are able to post a public directory journey. listing of their business, have access to member events, can click on a member’s resource tab, To learn more about the Holistic Chamber of have deep discounts available to them, and have Commerce, the Conference and Gathering event access to business support partners that will offer or if you are interested in starting their own local discounts as well. chapter or finding if one exists in your area, you can visit www.holisticchamberofcommerce.com Along with having the online site, the Holistic
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HELPING YOUR CHILDREN HANDLE BULLIES by Dr. Nekeshia Hammond
Adult or child, no one likes a bully. Unfortunately, though, the fact that no one likes them doesn’t prevent their existence. What’s worse is that with advancements in technology, you can be a bully without ever having even met the person you are treating badly. You know this as cyberbullying, and we could write an entire piece on that subject too. However, today we’ll focus on in-person bullying in schools something that we can’t just turn off a computer to avoid. One of the most difficult things as a parent is watching our children be bullied by anyone in what is supposed to be a safe place for learning and growing. How then, can you help them deal with bullies? BULLYING CAN’T JUST BE IGNORED ANYMORE Parents Magazine reported, “A study published in the Journal of School Health found that 19 percent of U.S. elementary students are bullied. And each day, more than 160,000 kids stay home from school because they fear being bullied, according to a survey by the National Education Association…” The sad reality is that bullies are often relentless. Simply ignoring it,
and hoping it will go away won’t help anyone. This is especially true for the one being bullied. Kids may tease one another and goof off, which is normal. On the other hand, when the line is crossed into the intentional torment of bullying, things have gone too far. This can’t be ignored because it can lead to the escalation of the situation, and/or long-lasting emotional scars. In the worst cases, there’s physical scarring too when the bullying becomes hands on. Some children have even died by suicide, or fought back in detrimental ways such as with gun violence, due to bullying. This is a national epidemic that needs as many people as possible working to stop it. WHAT TO DO FIRST IF YOU SUSPECT YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED Children are often scared to tell a parent, guardian or teacher that they are being bullied. They fear they will get in trouble, they fear how an adult will react, and in many cases are embarrassed or ashamed it’s happening to them in the first place. The best thing you can do if you suspect your child is being bullied is to ask them about it and let them know that they can tell you anything.
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to fight back or taunt the bully. Of course, you can coach your child in ways to not take it personally, and maintain a level of confidence when dealing with the bully. However, encouraging them to fight back could cause things to escalate and someone could get hurt. If the bullying is becoming violent rather than just emotional and mental, you may have no choice but to go to the authorities about it. Make it clear that talking to you is alright, and that there is no judgment. As hard as it will be, if they do confess they are in fact being bullied, don’t react just yet. Listen, let them dominate the conversation, and give them the space to tell you what they are experiencing from their perspective. Your initial instinct may be to cry, get angry or to do something irrational. Instead, though, you must remain calm and allow your child to tell you everything that is going on. To react could prevent them from coming to you in the future because they are already afraid of the bully and how you react could make things worse. THE PROPER COURSE OF ACTION IF BULLYING IS OCCURRING • You should first go to your child’s teacher. Explain the situation, and they may be able to take it from there. Many schools have protocols for how to deal with bullying, and if they do, it might be a good idea to let them handle it. The fewer emotions are involved, the better. 42 | MY Magazine
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• Encourage your child to avoid the bully as much as possible. If they can walk a different route, or cling to a buddy, it may be just enough to stop the bullying in its tracks.
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While the bullying is happening your child’s self-esteem and confidence may take a hit. To prevent or counteract this, get your child involved in activities they enjoy doing. For example, if your son or daughter like soccer or basketball, consider getting them into a club that will allow them to explore it. They could make new friendships and learn how to better engage with children their age.
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It might also be a good idea to have your child talk to a counselor or some other third party about how they are feeling. As parents, it’s so difficult to not get emotional about bullying, so an outside party may be your best bet. Don’t encourage them
BULLYING HURTS EVERYONE The bottom line is bullying hurts everyone, but there are ways to deal with it so it doesn’t hurt so badly. For example, if your child’s school doesn’t already have an anti-bullying campaign, perhaps you could start one. Working together is the best thing we can do to make bullying less of a problem in our schools. If nothing else, communicating with your children and helping them with their confidence could be just what the doctor ordered to help them deal with the bullies they may encounter. Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D. is a psychologist, speaker, and author of The Practical Guide to Raising Emotionally Healthy Children. Dr. Hammond has been featured on WFLA News Channel 8, Tampa Bay Times, Essence, Tampa Bay Parenting, CBS Boston, Ebony and other media outlets sharing her expertise on children and parenting. Check out the Hammond Psychology blog at www. HammondPsychology.com. Twitter: @Dr_Hammond FB: Dr. Nekeshia Hammond Instagram: @practicalparenting
“Faith Is Taking the First Step Even When You Don’t See the Whole Staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
BE UNSTOPPABLE & CHANGE THE WORLD Have Maria Rea, The Publisher Of MY Authentic Life & CEO of MY Media & Publishing Group Speak At Your Next Event TOPICS SUCH AS: • The Power Of Living Your Courageous Life • Empowering Women To Let Go Of Self-Doubt & Fear • Living In An Ego Driven World
Contact Maria at maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 43
AGE OF CELEBRATION by Kate Sholonski
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I
have always had a knack for looking at the bright side of life, so it makes sense that I would do the same when it comes to my attitude on aging and celebrating every stage of life. The main reason for celebrating my increasing age is that it feels better than mourning my lost youth. Another positive point I remember every year when my birthday rolls around is that the alternative to aging is dying young. That thought causes me to reflect on all the blessings I’ve had to be grateful for in my life, rather than dread the future. Since I have lived a lot of years, that list of blessings is quite long. Being a firm believer in accepting what is, as I approach my 65th birthday this month, I choose to celebrate even more than usual. I choose to celebrate life in general and the daily highlights like enjoying walks in nature, summer dinners on the front porch and gettogethers with friends. I celebrate living in a peaceful community, having a comfortable home with luxuries like water and electricity, a dog to takes for me for walks, and a husband that loves me. I enjoyed a great childhood in the 1950’s and 1960’s. I was able to safely play in the streets until dusk when my mother called me in for a bath and bedtime snack. Life was simple and homespun, where the adults sat at the kitchen table and talked politics while the kids played board games on the living room floor. My teenage years were when I began to discover who I was and what I wanted in my life. Although I was a joyful adventurer at heart and loved to have fun, I also had a gift of common sense and managed to stay out of trouble (at least most of the time). I married the day before my 21st birthday and although my husband and I were both young, we hung in there and made it work, perfecting
our lessons of love, patience, forgiveness and compassion along the path of our 44 years together. My 30’s and 40’s were my professional years. As a nurse, I stepped into a position that provided many responsibilities causing me to stretch beyond my comfort zone on a daily basis. I was busy with volunteering, acting in community-theater, and being a mom to an active boy. Over the years, I enjoyed many travels, quality time with family and friends, and a diverse list of educational opportunities, such as judo, belly dancing, Chinese cooking and most recently Neuro-Linguistic Programming. I also experienced spiritual growth beyond my wildest dreams, which launched me into my 50’s where I expanded into a new career and started a business. Now, as I prepare to step into my 65th year, I will do so with joyful anticipation and trust. I look forward to more life adventures and I trust I can handle all that comes my way since all those years I have lived so far have shown me that as long as I celebrate life with gratitude, I cannot lose. Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have coauthored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
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TRICK OR TREAT SCHOOL BULLYING IS NO FUN! by Gary Stuart
H
alloween is fast approaching so it’s Trick or Treat as fall has now arrived with seasonal change upon us. 2017 has officially raced by with lightning speed. Life can be defined and embraced as good or bad, being stuck can put a real damper on change. I often ask why so many challenges are thrown at
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us? Why is life that way? We seem to be tested daily on many levels, some days more than others. I choose to live from a place of deep awareness and trust. I process how every aspect matters. In any negative situation you may encounter, stay calm and observe instead of reacting. Take stock of the many angles of
any situation before we judge it. I find the most damage done in any relationship whether it’s a child, roommate or parent, often comes from a reaction to an action. Before reacting, it’s better to take time breath and to step back and observe. This approach has its own reward and believe it or not, it’s less stressful and more balanced in the long run.
Stop and listen to the intention underneath what people say about any situation.
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Remember to stop, think and breathe. This is the best way to assimilate and give yourself time to think about your response.
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Think of how your reaction will be met and the outcome of their perception of the event.
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Many of us in the digital age can unintentionally be perceived angry in a text or create a heartless email or even a hostile Facebook post. We get triggered, but before responding, we need to ask ourselves the question, who will see it and more importantly how will they react or what will they will think and respond in kind. None of these points are meant
to curb spontaneity or offend authenticity in any way. I know we have many relationships and schedules to juggle as the holiday season quickly approaches. It’s important to learn how to sort out conflicts now before there’s an explosion at the dinner table on Thanksgiving Day or at a holiday family meal. More info on that in the next
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FOUR HELPFUL TIPS TO SEE IF YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED TIP 1 Check in with your child, communicate to them that and ask if there are any bullies or electronic bullying going on in their school. TIP 2 Examine their social media profiles and have access to their accounts, know their passwords. Parents have a right as long as they’re a minor to make sure everything is okay. Of course, the child may kick and scream, however, you have a right as a parent to take charge of your child’s safety. In the 21st century, this means electronic safety as well as physical and emotional. TIP 3 Watch for signs of fear or introversion. Take the time to speak to your child and ask them why they seem to be feeling this way especially if they don’t want to go to school or seem threatened in any way. Telltale signs or symptoms can be a loss of appetite or a desire to be alone not wanting to see friends or even communicating with others outside the home. They may want all of this to be a secret which is even worse for them and the parent. Remember victims cope by denial or minimizing the damage from trauma. TIP 4 Take time to communicate your child especially if they don’t feel well and are trying to get out of going to school, a warning sign for sure. Try to be open and non-reactionary in your communication and sensitive to all sides. This is an important key is to remember. Even the bully is just as damaged from what they are doing as your child is. That misguided bully needs compassion too for what’s going on inside them. This doesn’t mean that I endorse bullying in any way shape or form, but rejecting or attacking the bully may not serve anyone. Everyone can learn from this experience and above all, parents involved need to have a level head in approaching these sensitive issues of our time.
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issue. Let’s turn Tricks into Treats modeling this new relaxed and more centered way to relate those we are in relationship with. What you can learn in communication around delicate situations are the tricks we use with them and the treats with yourself. At my recent Constellation Healing workshops, I’ve been receiving a lot of requests to work with children whose parents found out they were being bullied at school. Moms have come to me with the “not so fun” trick-or-treat that is happening to the young boys and girls in schools across the land. Bullying is not fun nor to be taken lightly, and it’s actually quite serious. There is so much bullying going on in schools right now, it needs to be addressed. A lot of it occurs in our schools between students whether its boys or girls. Cyberbullying can include texting, angry messages on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or even Snapchat. Living the 21st century, there are many ways to communicate and no way of knowing the original tone of the Tweet, post, email or text. Without the one on one personal interface, cyber hostility can instigate anger and insecurity towards anyone who feels they are being bullied. Many teens develop social fears and angst because their friends will know some inner secret or some perception used against them within their social circles. This in return creates even more fear and dread in the students’ social circles. Mind you, this is all happening eight hours a day in our formative years from grade school to high school. A key point I would like to address for parents is for them to monitor the afflicted child’s social media. It’s especially important when they see or feel their child is under emotional duress before or after school, this goes for sons as well as daughters. Another tip I have is for parents is to talk to them. Stop and take a breath trying not to react to what they say. It’s hard to hear about any bully or perpetrator or any aggressor at school. Just sit and listen to them don’t react. Stop and
think of your own childhood. Remember when things like this happened to you in grade school or high school. As a parent, you should know many things about this. In previous generations, it was face-to-face intimidation and now in the 21st Century it’s more faceless and electronic. You could call it electronic, negative gossip. The amount of fear and dread that these young children harbor, can lead them to suicide or introversion, depression, and many other negative behaviors.
with great concern either by the school, parents or teachers. Personal guilt and shame of the victimized child can crush self-esteem or foster deep insecurity with irrational, terrified responses.
For the parents, this can be a deep, intimate learning experience where your child feels your support and care. This is of the utmost importance. The last thing you want your child to feel the shame or fear with you the parents getting angry that this happened to them or blaming them for your discomfort.
My own personal adversarial training in grade school was especially painful for me. It drove me into being a quiet, fearful introvert becoming terrified to even speak. I felt anything I said or did could or would be used against me. It wasn’t until I sought out therapy in my early 20’s, Primal Therapy to be exact, that I found help for my internal repression from my childhood fears stemming from my parents and in my negative school experiences. I had shut down and shut up.
The most important thing to remember about any type of bullying is that the bully themselves are projecting their fear or anger from their possible treatment at home from their parents or their peers. I know it’s difficult but try to have compassion for the bully. See that they too are in reaction mode to some terrible stimuli. In most cases, they aggressively act out on someone smaller or younger than them. It is a cycle of violence. All sides need to be addressed with compassion and levity. It is very serious when young teens think suicide is the only way out. It must be addressed
In today’s world, it is more complex as the bullying doesn’t have to be face-to-face, it tends to be more social media, giving messages to peers through writing. The instigator seeks to harass and intimidate them in unsuspecting ways. The stinging
humiliation of negative gossip may not even be factually true. Once it’s out in cyberspace the damage has been done and those posts or text, even if the posts are untrue, electronic gossip can linger for a long time on the internet. Thus, creating continual damaging stress and fear in any child who is the recipient of a cyber bully within their social circles. There are many sides to every story, and each parent must take time to communicate and adjust the fear and terror that can paralyze their child myauthenticlifemagazine.com 49
guilt or shame over what was shared even if it’s untrue. The cyber bully through a text, tweet or Snapchat, circulates through their friends’ social circles, further exacerbating the problem. I hope everyone who reads this is served well. My goal was to open your eyes and give you tools, with new ways to approach this controversial issue. Parents and teachers are the caretakers of the next generation. This is a not a hidden epidemic there are many resources out there to stop bullying or to see what’s going on locally in your town or city. psychologically. It helps to take a proactive role to protect your child even if it’s not physical violence but cyber bullying. The psychological damage can torment and fear can run very deep and become debilitating. I personally would recommend that parents go directly to the school to alert teachers, school managers or administrators. At the very least create some rules against electronic devices being used in classrooms during educational times. How can anyone learn without paying attention to the teacher anyway? There really is no place for cell phones in the classroom unless there is an emergency. Children need to feel safe and not have to worry about being recorded, tweeted or texted about during class time. As we see in the media, many people are looking at their cell phones just before hitting a car. Others have even died even while 50 | MY Magazine
taking a selfie because they were not paying attention to the danger around them as they fell backward off a cliff. Ultimately, bullying is all about overpowering someone perceived as weak to feel powerful. In most cases, the bully themselves feel powerless or victimized in some part of their life. Many people who just blame the bully don’t see that their behavior has been modeled to them by their parents or someone else in their family. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, however, they’re projecting their personal angst and fear on to someone who is vulnerable, such as, a classmate or fellow students from grade school or high school. The effects can still be very damaging in even deadly. Any child or young adult who lives in terror or is being stressed on a daily basis is not healthy psychologically. They may have
Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www.Amazon.com He leads healing workshops and trains nationally and internationally and resides in Los Angeles. Distance Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! He’s coming back to Detroit in August 2017 to WOW again! Give a GIFT that keeps on giving - CHANGE. Constellation Healing GIFT CERTIFICATES plus packages available.His FREE Consultation: www. testyourhappiness.com and online www. ConstellationsWithGaryStuart.com
Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.” During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future. Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here. Most recently featured on
Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.
31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • lynn@heavenswhisper.net Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype
• In home
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Self-Growth 52 | MY Magazine
Talk to Tamara
Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. by Tamara Green
UNIVERSAL LAWS Hi Tamara,
Dearest Seeker of Truth and Sparks,
In the past several years, my marriage has been on the rocks. To cope, I’ve become a spiritual seeker and have enjoyed the perspectives you impart in your monthly columns. May I ask, what are the Universal Laws and how can I use them to rebuild the relationship with my husband? I crave the closeness and sparks we used to have.
What a great question! By understanding and practicing the Universal Laws, you will enhance your relationship, not only with your husband but also with yourself.
Signed: Seeker of Truth and Sparks
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Ready to put some deliciousness back into your marriage? Over the next three months, I’ll share the Twelve Universal Laws (four in each of my monthly columns), their meaning, and how to align with them for relationship success.
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What are the Universal Laws? The Laws are principles by which everything in this Universe is governed. In other words, they are the glue that holds everything in existence together. More than five thousand years ago, Ancient Greece and India secretly taught its guidelines, professing that perfect harmony is a possibility because of these principles. When you apply and align with the Laws, your life flows with ease and grace. When you misuse them, fear takes over and problems arise. On a personal level, the misapplication of the Laws creates illness, limitation, despair, and a sense of separation from others, and more importantly, from Source. On a more global level, the abuse of the Laws creates violence, wars, ignorance, and misery. The initial step to mastery is to comprehend these principles. The next step to is to put them into practice. And, there is no better training for spiritual mastery than relationships! Understanding Universal Laws and Putting Them Into Practice: •
DIVINE ONENESS - We are all One and deeply connected to everyone and everything else.
Exercise: Repeat this mantra for the next three days: My husband and I are One. Make note of any changes within you or your marriage when operating from this awareness. •
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VIBRATION - Everything in this Universe vibrates and moves. (Note: Every object, sound, feeling, and thought has its own vibrational frequency, unique unto itself.)
“After years of meditation and going within, I realized that my true purpose is to be love in action.” —Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u) Attention: At any given time, you and your husband are vibrating from the energy of either fear (judgment) or love (awareness).
test. I appreciate him so much. Have you noticed that lovebased actions usually result in feelings of happiness, trust, or closeness?
•
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ACTION - What materializes in your physical world is a result of your actions.
Exercise: On a blank piece of paper, write down any actions or behaviors you and your husband (list yours and his separately) have taken that stem from fear, such as, criticism, jealousy, worry, finger pointing, etc. Next, record the results of these fearful behaviors. For example: I blamed him for not caring about my feelings. As a result, he shut down and wouldn’t talk to me for two days. Have you noticed that fear-based actions often result in disappointment, mistrust, or resentment? Now, write down any actions or behaviors you and your husband (list yours and his separately) have taken that stem from love, such as, gratitude, patience, interest, compassion, etc. For example: He helped me study for my exam by quizzing me. As a result, I aced the
CORRESPONDENCE - As above, so below.
Attention: Since everyone and everything is One and came from the same Source, there is no difference between you and the Universe and vice versa. Therefore, the wisdom and mysteries of the Universe lie within. To find out for yourself, commit to a daily practice of meditation or mindfulness. Stay tuned for next month’s column where I’ll uncover the meanings and uses of the next four Laws: Cause and Effect; Compensation; Attraction; and Perpetual Transmutation. For those who are going through the cancer experience, feel calm in minutes by downloading the free Loving Meditations App. For more information, go to calmcancerstress.com. Want free relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s free 45-minute
Copyright 2017, Tamara Green, LCSW. All Rights Reserved
guidance session where you will finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles. Whether you are single or are experiencing relationship upset, by clicking here, you no longer have to figure this out alone anymore. Yay! Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soulcentered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Please follow Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u) Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A myauthenticlifemagazine.com 57
EMOTIONAL IQ MADE EASY CLIMBING OUT OF STRUGGLE SO “IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE WORK” by Carol Benson
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motions can be tricky since you experience your own and then you have to figure out someone else’s too. That’s where the powerhouse trio of Compassion, Kindness, and Respect come in, great assets to have in your corner no matter what challenges come your way. But first, you have to become the master of your own emotional landscape. 58 | MY Magazine
In this article are FIVE TIPS you’ll get that will totally elevate your skills toward becoming a master of your own emotions. Why does it matter? Well first off, emotional reactivity can stress you out. And at the end of the day where would you rather
be – exhausted or energized? Exhaustion leads to stress which then leads to health challenges from all the wear and tear on your system over time. If you’re feeling energized then you’ll be much more available to actually having a life instead of fretting over work so much. At the end of the day, how would you rather feel?
BONUS TIP: Want more energy at the end of your day? Master YOUR EMOTIONS! Some other benefits you’ll have: • More resilience and flexibility as a leader! •
Inner resources to shift your emotions in the moment
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unique emotional rollercoaster is an unrefuted tipping point to success. How would work and life be if your emotions fostered you to have more impact, fulfillment, and ease?
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More awareness of options to choose for yourself
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Increased self-determination
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More curiosity to explore other opportunities for yourself and others
Plato, clearly a man ahead of his time, declared more than 2,000 years ago that emotions underpin learning. And since humans tend to be at times slow learners, neuroscientists didn’t bother to explore the area of emotions until the 1980’s. Since that time, a large body of research has uncovered that learning and emotions are bidirectionally (what a great description!) connected in higher and lower cortical brain areas. In other words, learning and emotions are intricately intertwined! And if you’re in business as an entrepreneur, leader or as part of a team, you are constantly thinking. And, learning to manage your 60 | MY Magazine
Across a multidiverse spectrum composite of your work and life, most likely you at times experience an unpredictable sense of “What’s going to happen next?” There is an unfamiliar landscape of emotions right now churning around you in many forms. For example, take a look at the current divisive political climate in the United States and elsewhere. Then add the weather, cash flow, triggered reactions and traffic to the mix. It’s a mish-mash of emotional highs and lows. In the current business culture, a typical approach has been to formulate a business plan based on a more traditional capitalistic style. In today’s utilization of technology in business, most have felt a climate change in more ways than in global warming. Dependent upon your industry, diversity might be pretty much nonexistent. Leadership models from the “top-down” are outdated and it clearly shows up in the rampant disengagement of employees found in corporations and even in small businesses. A recent Gallup poll found that 51% of employees are actively looking for a new job! Profit before value is not seen as a surefire expansion mode any longer. To summarize, doing business as usual, isn’t working as well, these days.
If you’re an entrepreneur, you may also experience obstacles, which push you into an emotional pushpull struggle about how to stay in business on a daily basis. Profit and cash flow can certainly add to your emotional stress. If you’ve experienced competitors cutting into your business profits and growth or even in luring key employees away, that causes some real fear factors of “fight or flight,” survival-mode emotions to take over. This can overwhelm you to experience burn-out mode as the stress impacts you both physically and emotionally. When anxiety takes over, your brain is wired to default into a fear-focused limbic system response and that results in the autonomic nervous system dysregulation of your emotional system. The autonomic nervous system acts or occurs involuntarily without conscious mind control. So, stress hormones being released due to stress is an example of this. Think about how when you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself, everything seems to work better in a more positive and easier way somehow, doesn’t it? You’ve probably left stress, anxiety and worrying at the door at least for a little while, right? Getting back to how your brain works, stress emotions leave a huge toll on your current internal operating system and block positivity, innovation, and clear thinking. Stressful emotions also distract you when you need to be focused and supported by all the executive functions that keep you in business like organization, problem-solving, planning, time management. This can be best attributed to the bi-directionally Limbic System which is where interconnecting brain regions process emotions, learning, and memory.
As a human, you’re basically wired to enjoy life. However, when the unfamiliar or unpredictable “stuff” happens like a glitch in cash flow, someone on your team quits or you lose a client, your emotions and stress hormones get triggered! When your stress hormones go haywire that impacts you having a quality work and life. How can you foster a positive emotional takeover no matter what gets in the way? Appreciate and acknowledge the fact that as a human you get to have a wide range of feelings. Feelings are not static! How you approach them is a huge key in developing an astute Emotional IQ TIP #1: Try having compassion, kindness, and respect! When triggered emotionally by someone else, try having compassion for them (and for yourself) and see what shifts! TIP #2: Interrupt your usual pattern of response or reactivity! Take action to have greater awareness about what is really true (not your story about it!) will help you to take positive action to shift the outcome when something is emotionally charged. OWN IT! TIP # 3: Invite in the precept that all of your emotions are welcome! There are no wrong feelings. Each feeling you have is uniquely a part of your own experience. TIP #4: Ask for support from your team and others! Share concerns about any obstacles or challenges and let collaboration bring in novel ways to connect to the bigger picture. That’s the best way to create new outcomes and also a great way to reduce any stress you might feel at having to “do it alone.”
“When we are in the grip of craving or fury, head-over-heals in love or recoiling in dread, it is the limbic system that has us in its grip.” —Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ myauthenticlifemagazine.com 61
“Leadership is not domination, but the art of persuading people to work toward a common goal.”
—Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition
capable he was. He escaped under the radar and was often passed over. He was hiding out to avoid stress but really what was happening was he was feeling more stressed with the circumstances.
TIP #5: Choose a growth mindset! When you recognize that challenges and mistakes are opportunities to learn instead of experiences to avoid, you encourage flexible thinking along with new possibilities showing up. Becoming a master of YOUR Emotional IQ can feel like a pretty bold move at times for you to take. It definitely requires a bit of self-confidence to pull it off. Getting out of your comfort zone, to really step up to playing a bigger game, is all part of the journey for you to fully step into being the awesome leader you already are. How does that feel to know that you already have a great capacity to lead your own emotional reactions towards more desirable outcomes? And it’s not just thinking about yourself in that approach. The outcome will also feel really rewarding to others too! One of our clients, “Steve,” was really uncomfortable to learn that he was being put on a project team with “Diego” who had a notorious reputation as a really difficult person to work with. Steve liked order and disliked conflict so much so that he often missed opportunities for promotions because his team leaders didn’t really see how 62 | MY Magazine
Feeling frustrated and disengaged in his job, he wanted more growth and challenges. Instead of ducking out of working on this project team with the challenging Diego, he dove in head first. Although uncomfortable, he used new skills as he tested out his own emotional IQ to pretty confidently “rock the boat.” He adeptly challenged Diego when the need arose which yielded innovative results that surpassed any of the ideals the project targeted. Steve became a well-noticed part of the team and promoted to a leadership role!!! And he and Diego found that they were a pretty great team together! So it doesn’t have to feel like work! #itdoesntfeellikework Carol and Paul Benson are both accomplished mentors, authors, speakers and trainers. Carol, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, specializes in emotional and relational intelligence strategies and leadership training for business teams. Paul Benson, a multimillion dollar business owner, is well-versed in cooperative team development, sales, negotiation and helping businesses improve their performance using unique best business practices. As authors of the highly-acclaimed book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity,” (2013, Highpoint Life) Carol and Paul know firsthand what it takes to use a wider scope of mindsets as the competitive edge in a fast-past, ever changing global marketplace. itdoesntfeellikework.com carolbbenson@gmail.com
Beauty Surrounds Us
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Connecting You With You
ALLOW YOUR SOUL TO GUIDE & NAVIGATE SHIFT TIMES OF CHALLENGE & DEVASTATION TO OPPORTUNITIES OF GROWTH & EXPANSION by Amanda Butler Slade
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e are definitely living in challenging times as we’ve experienced the devastation and deaths due to weather, earthquakes, fires and other discords throughout the world. It is impacting people physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and/or financially in many different ways and it doesn’t matter whether you’re caught right in the middle of it or observing it from afar. Everyone’s story is different but we’re all having to ‘weather the storm’, so to speak. It can be a time of losing hope, giving up and/or caving into the egoic/ personality way of thinking and doing in order to try to feel safe and secure, or to be in control in the midst of chaos. Everyone can feel the tension, upset and strain it is putting on us as individuals and as a collective population. It can feel draining, depleting and depressing as we go through it. However, if you listen to those who were caught in the Texas floods, or who have gone through the hurricanes in the south, or experienced the fires in the western US, there is one theme that has prevailed … “I lost everything but I’m just happy to be alive. I can always get new ‘stuff’ and rebuild but for now, I’m grateful that my family and I are safe and together.” I’ve watched the footage from Southeast Asia, myauthenticlifemagazine.com 65
it into an opportunity for your growth and expansion. It’s a call to be the best version of you that you can ‘BE’ even in the midst of distress and upset. We have witnessed the heroes that have shown up in the disaster areas. Let this be the time to be the hero in your own life. The one thing that’s for sure in these uncertain times is that you cannot remain complacent, or go on with your life as status quo, or in ‘automatic pilot’ mode. If you do, the Universe will somehow kick you in the butt to get your attention. We are all being called upon to grow and expand into our MORE.
CONNECTION
©2015 Keenawah & Associates, LLC
The Universal Energy Form of Connection from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ provides the energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you tap into the energies of Universal Source and activate your Soul Code of Connection. It helps you deeply connect within your Self as well as with others, your Soul’s Essence and the Universe, which allows for the flow of Universal resources to fill you and guide you. You become MORE aligned with your Soul’s energies and the Universe’s Highest Potential that is held for you. Mexico and other parts of the world which have experienced even more devastation and death than what we have here in the United States and wonder how they are getting through it all.
It’s a wake-up call for all of us. It is a wake-up call to make a Conscious Choice and Decision to choose love, compassion, and kindness, even when you feel threatened and afraid.
What is occurring around the world ought to be put in perspective as to what and who is really important to you.
It’s a wake-up call to focus on what you want to create in the midst of a challenge and Consciously Choose to shift
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I, personally, have had to step up my game. Being an Empath, I feel the mass consciousness, the devastation, the crushing fear for safety and security, the immense sadness and deep grief that’s occurring. You add in the division and negativity with individuals and within groups and governments, and it’s downright overwhelming at times. There are times I literally can’t move, yet alone move forward in what I desire to create which can lead to frustration, anger and upset. I have had to take even more time with my spiritual practices so I can reconnect and reground my Self in my own energy fields. This means I have to sort through my own emotions, thoughts, and beliefs to decipher if they’re mine, or someone else’s, or simply the
result of what’s going on in the world. As I become aware of what’s mine or not mine, I then use techniques to clear my energy fields and reinforce them so I can connect with the power of my Soul’s energies and Universal resources. In the last few weeks, I’ve also been working with a lot of my clients to help them become aware of what’s theirs and what’s not … most of them have not realized how empathetic they are. I remind them to ‘check in’
with themselves when they start feeling upset, depleted, drained or depressed. We find out how are they being affected by what’s going on with others or within the world. I teach them how to shift their energies so they have the power to be the observer, rather than stuck in other people’s energies or engulfed by the fear of what’s going on around the planet. Meditation is vital in these uncertain times because we
cannot look to the outside for our safety and security. We must find it within. If you don’t have a practice, check out the complimentary downloads I have on http:// CoCreateYourSuccess.com under Success Tools. The egoic/personality self, requires your Soul’s guidance because old patterns, behaviors, and habits take over when fear is triggered consciously or subconsciously. You will react versus respond to the matters
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at hand and typically very irrationally as you feel more and more out of control. Then the ego tries to control and be ‘right’ so it can save and protect you with the end game that you feel safe and secure. In meditation (and journaling), it gives you the ‘space’ to let go, to release, to relax and to allow. It gives you a pathway to connect with your Soul’s energies and the Universe (God, Higher Power, Divine Source, however you name it). It opens up to answers and possibilities. When we pray, we are giving our gratitude and requests to the Universe and when we meditate, it allows for the Universe to answer. During my own meditation and throughout the day, I also send Universal ‘L’s … Universal Love and Co-Creation to
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individuals, to groups, to those (people, animals, responders, organizations that are helping) in the areas of devastation and to the earth to assist with the healing, transformation, and manifestation of a Higher Potential. I also activate an energetic field around me so I stand in my own energies with the connection, strength, and power I have to guide me throughout the day. Problems and challenges give us the opportunity to dig deep and realign with more of our Soul’s energies and purpose. Everyone’s problems or challenges may be different from yours, but understand that whatever you’re going through is just as important as other people’s issues. Don’t compare your circumstances with someone else’s, thinking your problems are not as serious as others.
Everyone’s journey is different. It’s critical to deal with what is ‘showing up’ for you and your life in order for you to create and live your Highest Potential. I was recently talking with a friend and colleague about the power of positivity and love. Love can only shine through when we are accepting and compassionate. Add in gratitude and kindness and you will create a Higher Potential and a new way of ‘BE’-ing. Love will always supersede the negative and the problem. All of us have our own issues that require our attention. Whether it be the loss of loved ones, the loss of homes and all you own, your health, financial, or relationships, therein lies a gift and an opportunity. By connecting within and allowing love and your Soul and the Universe to guide
you, you can traverse the challenge and see the new Potential it provides you and others who may also be involved.
F What is my Soul-Aligned
Understand you can argue for your limitations, blame others or the circumstances, or dig your heels in and claim you’re right, but where is that getting you? The old saying, “You can be right or you can be happy” is so True, especially now. If you can be accepting, compassionate and loving with your Self, then you are more than half way there to manifest your solution.
F What is my Soul-Aligned
Focus on the desired feeling, vibration and outcome, not the energy of ‘what is’. This gives the egoic/personality Self a new job to create something new and is busy following the guidance that’s given, versus dwelling in the ‘what is’. Loving the challenge or issue does not mean you want it, but that you are accepting and compassionate with the ‘what is’. Loving, rather than ‘fighting’, condemning or judging, you energetically go beyond it, so tap into the energy fields of the ‘new’ and possibilities. Here are some questions you can ask your Self when you are in the midst of a reaction and desire to shift the energies you are in:
F What is my Soul-Aligned Thought?
F What is my Soul-Aligned Feeling?
Belief?
F What is my Soul-Aligned Word?
Action?
F What is my Soul-Aligned Wisdom?
F What is my Soul-Aligned Creation?
This provides a way to Connect to the energy, resources, and guidance of your Soul and the Universe. When you ask these questions, your egoic/ personality Self cannot answer them; it cannot supersede what the Soul wants to express. Your Soul’s energies cannot be filtered through the ‘old’ patterns, beliefs, feelings, behaviors, habits, or the wounded egoic/personality Self because it holds the power of Love which cannot be superseded by negative vibrations. This is the key to success in shifting your energy. It is evident the earth and the Universe is getting our attention and that we are done with the ‘old’ paradigm of separation, power, and control which is no longer serving us. As the purging and transformation occur on the outside, so are we on the inside. I can’t stress enough the importance of dealing with the challenges and problems we all face, in a different
way. Using power and control over someone, or something, will not work in the times we are now living in. We are all being called upon to step up and play bigger in our own spiritual connection and way of ‘BE’ing. And to step into cocreating, cooperating and collaborating with others through love, acceptance, compassion, kindness, and understanding. So allow for your Soul to guide you and shift the challenges you are experiencing into new opportunities and experiences. I’m sure you will be surprised what you will find on the other side. Amanda Butler Slade is the Architect of The Diamond Co-Creative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE! For More about Amanda and how a Soul Reading can help you, go to http://cocreateyoursuccess.com/ soul-reading-special/ www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife myauthenticlifemagazine.com 69
Home
GOING
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“This world is not my home. I’m just passin’ through...” –Larry Norman
by David Larson
A
s a student, you or I may go to London for a semester to study, to experience something out of our ordinary lives, to learn about another lifestyle. We see the sights. We visit the pubs. We put our suitcases in the boot, not the trunk. We drive on the left side of the road. We ride the double-decker buses. We visit the museums. We put warm milk on our cereal. We do all the things that people do in England. We experience their culture first hand. But at the end of the semester, we know we’re going home. Now expand this view a bit, like a helicopter lifting off and pulling back from the earth. From this vantage point, we can see that visiting earth is like studying abroad. We come here for a time, 65-85 years for most of us. We eat food. We go to school. We work. We make money. We go bowling, water skiing, or snowmobiling. We go shopping. We play sports. We watch TV and go to the movies. We get involved with feeding the poor, with politics, with church. We get passionate about causes while we’re here. We do the things that humans do on this planet. And then we go home. My grandmother, who lived to be 92, would at times make comments in her later years about wanting to die. Thinking she was just discouraged about life, we would try to encourage her with words such as, “Don’t say that, Grandma, we like having you around.” What we may not have realized then is that many seniors, despite whatever blessings they may have experienced in life, know what’s coming next is much better. Is it possible the older generation can tell when their semester is ending? Perhaps they know more clearly than the rest
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of us that it’s just the end of their study abroad, that they’re confident they are “going home.” In our middle years, you and I can get caught up with focusing on the material things of life, losing our perspective of the long view. We get upset when an unexpected bill comes in the mail, when a relationship ends, when we get sick, when we lose our job, when the car breaks down, when tragedy strikes. We feel angry, hurt, discouraged, lonely. This is normal for humans. It’s easy for us to forget that it’s the middle of our semester and this will all go away. Life is a game. Life is an adventure. We’re to learn as much as we can about coping, 72 | MY Magazine
accepting, loving, serving. And then we go home. My wish for you today is that you’ll make the most of life while you’re here. Live consciously. Live mindfully. Live as though you’ll never get another chance to “study abroad.” Be passionate, enthusiastic, and at peace about what’s going on right now. It will all end. As the great sage said, for better or for worse, “this too shall pass.” Be at peace today, knowing all is well. No matter how much time you have remaining to complete your foreign study, experience it to the fullest. Cry deeply. Laugh loudly. Hope with foolish abandon. Count your blessings, learn the lessons, and focus on the gifts in every life experience.
The confidence we have is that we’ll eventually be going back to familiar territory, where we’ll be reminded more fully how much we’re loved, and where all our sorrows will be healed. We’ll be able to recount our lessons learned, and we’ll be able finally to rest. At last, we’ll be home. David is a licensed psychologist in private practice who has been leading people into life fulfillment for more than thirty years. His work with Kate Sholonski at Triumph Leadership Group involves creating and sustaining healthy and productive relationships in the workplace. David is a contributing author to four books, has been a TV talk show host, and resides in rural Minnesota with his wife, Carol.
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HOW TO KEEP YOUR PERSONAL POWER by Dr. Kate Siner
www.myauthenticlifemagazine.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 75
I
t is one thing to feel a sense of personal power when things are going well for you, but it is when you know how to keep personal power during traumatic life events that you are able to surf the ups and downs of life with more grace and ease. Being able to do this is actually a type of maturity. Learning the skills associated with how to keep personal power under any circumstances is both grounding and liberating. When we face any kind of trauma in our lives –the loss of a loved one, an illness, a major setback, etc. -we experience intense emotions associated with the events. This might be grief or anger. These heavy negative emotions are a normal and healthy part of the traumatic event, but, over time, can begin to warp our perspective and impact our ability to move forward. It is necessary to feel and honor these emotions as well as connect to a deeper sense of personal truth and faith.
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THE QUESTION THEN BECOMES ABOUT BOTH – HOW TO KEEP PERSONAL POWER AND EMOTIONALLY EXPERIENCE OUR TRAUMA Emotions associated with traumatic events need time, space, and holding. We can recognize that they come in waves. That we need to be willing to sit with them, or thrash with them, or whatever else, depending on the requirements. That we need to make sure to give them the time they need to be felt and honored and to run their course. We benefit from putting ourselves in situations and around people who can be with us and our emotional experience so that we do not run the risk of rewounding ourselves. This support helps us avoid the pitfalls of a lonesome mind that might convince us that we are alone or unlovable because of how we are feeling. We also benefit from recognizing when
the emotional process needs to come to a close and allowing ourselves to rise up again. Regardless of what is going on in our emotional process, we are in a simultaneous process of the further refinement of our personal power. The two are not separate. They are intended to influence each other. However, we often get stuck in the emotional processing and fail to see the opportunities for growth and power that are inherent in the circumstances we are facing. We lose contact with our own sense of personal power. To access our personal power we need to begin to believe that all events in life are conspiring to bring us home to ourselves. That, regardless of circumstances, our own heart and truth can be revealed to us. That we can take deliberate action to move towards what we most deeply want.
HOW TO KEEP PERSONAL POWER, STRENGTHEN YOUR POWER, AND LIVE FROM IT Clarify how we want to feel: When all is said and done, what matters more than outcomes is how we feel before and after we achieve those outcomes. By figuring out how you want to feel on a day-to-day – or even situational – basis, we deepen our personal power in our life. Envision what we want to create: While how we feel in the now is of infinite importance, it is still helpful to know what we are moving towards. This does not mean that we need to be ready to take action to move in that direction (we may or may not be). Just knowing where we are headed is often enough. This shows us that our circumstance is temporary and a larger unfolding is imminent.
start to pay attention to what is going on around us when we begin to move in the direction of what feels good to us, when we claim the things that align with our vision based on these signs… We remember that life is on our side and that, no matter the current challenge, we can find our way to something better. Dr. Kate Siner is an award-winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, speaker, author, and radio show host. Kate has a Ph.D. in Psychology and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be. Kate has developed a series of successful personal development programs, newest of which is Group Healing Intensive. Learn more at www.katesiner.com or at admin@katesiner.com. UPCOMING EVENTS:
Integrative Transformational Coaching; Registration now Open!
Foster these states: To fully claim our personal power, we can foster the states of being that support our intended outcome, or take action in that direction. These actions give us a sense of agency in our lives. The results of our efforts teach us about how much power we have to create what we want in our lives.
It’s time to work smarter, not harder, by adding intrinsic value to your healing or helping practice by becoming a Coach. Registration for Dr. Kate’s new six-month Coaching Certification program is now open. The program is the fruit of years of Dr. Kate’s own work as a coach and mentor. It builds on the success of her past program, Master Transformational Coaching, but provides an, even more, user friendly format, drills down into the essentials, and gets you up and coaching as fast as possible. Embrace your potential, define your integrative style, and become the master of your success with Integrative Transformational Coaching.
Pay attention to where we are going: There are numerous signs along the road of life. When we
Learn more → http://katesiner.com/train-with-me/ transformational-coaching/ myauthenticlifemagazine.com 77
HOW TO LIVE AN AUTHENTIC LIFE
AFTER LOSS by Laura Jack
S
ometimes life feels hard. Sometimes we feel uncertain. Sometimes we just wish it were easy. Sometimes we look around and wonder why other people have it easier or harder than we do.
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The truth is that like Heraclitus said, “the only thing that is constant is change,” and therefore life is not certain. We don’t know when our last day will come. We don’t know what we will be doing tomorrow or
next year, even if we have a plan. We don’t know if we will wake up tomorrow with our health, and we don’t know if we will find love or keep it. One of the few truths besides
you enjoy. While we can surround ourselves with family and friends, in the end, you are your only certainty. Now, I’m not saying this to be morbid or to tell you your relationships don’t matter. Relationships and connection are probably two of my favorite parts of life. However, if we’re talking about “my authentic life,” one of the most important question to ask is what do I want?
times are also part of an authentic life. The more we avoid or pretend that we are “fine”, the more evident the darkness becomes. All feelings deserve to be acknowledged and appreciated and once they are the light can shine again. To find your most authentic self:
1
Acknowledge that you are constantly evolving, just like
life. If today were my last day on Earth, who would I spend it with, what would I do, how would I want to feel, what would I want to express? The sooner we recognize that life is uncertain and that we have to consider our own hopes and desires, the more likely we can begin living our most authentic life. Again, this does not have to be at the expense or detriment of the people we love or who love us. We also have to remember that when we are taking care of ourselves, satisfied, and at peace, all of those around us benefit. I believe we can only love as much as we love ourselves, just as we can only be as compassionate to others as we are to ourselves.
change being a constant is that you are the only constant in your life. You wake up and go to bed with yourself every day and every night. You work, you sleep, you eat, and hopefully, you spend time doing things
Yes, life can be tough, confusing, heartbreaking, and sometimes down right horrifying. And, it can also be beautiful, rich, joyful and peaceful. In order to feel more beauty and peace, we have to remember that the challenging
2 3
Understand that you are the only constant in your life.
Realize that when you love and care for yourself, others benefit greatly.
4
Accept that a beautiful and authentic life include the joy and the sorrow. If somewhere along the way you feel like you have lost your sense of self, please visit http://www.laurajack. com/7daystothriving/ to download your free 7 Days to Thriving Ebook and mini-course to begin rediscovering you! Laura Jack, author of #1 International Best Seller, The Compassion Code: How to say the right thing when the wrong thing happens, teaches compassionate communication and how we can relate to one another more effectively during the challenging moments in life. Her mission is to cultivate a culture of compassion, starting with self, and to create a better understanding of loss and its accompanying grief. www.laurajack.com
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EXPERIENCING HATRED FROM A PERFECT STRANGER by Janette Stuart
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This morning, I ran a few errands and went downtown to my post office. It is one of these cool, summer mornings with a hint of drizzle. The temperature is a cool 60 degrees. I am an extrovert and look at everyone I pass on the street unless I am in a congested setting. Sometimes, I just smile. Sometimes, I say “good morning.” Sometimes, I comment about the day. As I was waiting for the light to change to walk across the street at the crosswalk, a young man walked near me crossing the street against the light. He was wearing athletic shorts and shoes and a t-shirt ringed with sweat around the neckline and carrying a water bottle. He didn’t have a particularly good look on his face, and I figured he was out for a run and stopping to catch his breath. I smiled at him and said, “It looks like you’ve already had a good workout this morning.” His response shocked me. He said “Don’t you smile at me. I am not your friend. I don’t want to be your friend, b*tch.” He had passed me at this point and
called me the b-word again. All I could say was “That’s too bad.” I didn’t feel scared, but I did feel a tremendous sadness for this young man. How sad that he felt such hate, such rage, such anger. I am employing my new tactic which is sending love by envisioning the person or situation as a warm stack of pancakes and the love I am pouring over them is like melting butter and warm maple syrup. This is Divine love. This is God’s love making the situation better. This is me sending love and light out into the world. This is me making a positive change in the world. My friend has dubbed this technique “syruping.” She may have just coined a new word. If adulting can be a word, perhaps syruping can be a word, also. We have also recently requested each other to send a little syruping in various situations in our lives. When faced with a potentially tumultuous upcoming event, we ask each other to send a little syrup ahead. It has worked fabulously in shifting my perspective and also assisted in the positive outcome of these situations.
Before my new syruping technique, I would have felt angry; I would have felt so wronged; I would have felt like I was a victim. Perhaps you’d like to join me in this syruping technique which is simply sending love to the situation instead of mulling over all the negativity or heaping kerosene upon the raging fire. By sending this love, it not only shifts my energy and thoughts but also leads to a better outcome. I want this young man, this child of God, to have a better day, a better life, and to know that he is loved and that his life is important. He is obviously in so much pain. My smiling face may be the only sliver of love and light he has in his life. I trust that eventually, this encounter with me may do him a world of good. The situation rests in the arms of the Divine; in the best place possible. I release it in love…with a side of syrup. Perhaps you’d like to come visit my website Angel Angles to see some of my other articles, services, and products.
I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 81
SIMPLY Spiritual
THE DREAM EXPERTS
What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Disappointed,
I am talking to these two ladies because we are all staying at the same hotel. We were all supposed to go to Hawaii, but something about the trip fell through so it was canceled. My husband and I were talking to this lady about it, and it was likely that they canceled for a silly reason. We thought maybe it was due to a clothes issue. I said, “Who cares about your clothes in Hawaii. You just go around in a swim suit anyway.
The first question to ask yourself is what Hawaii represents to you. That will give you a big indication as to what this dream is about. A place in a dream represents your mental focus. If Hawaii represents fun and relaxation to you, that is what you are focused upon. You want what Hawaii represents for you (perhaps fun or relaxation) yet you sabotage this from happening. The reason is that there is something about your self-expression (clothes) that is not in sync with what Hawaii represents for you. The message is that you need to simplify your way of expressing, or be less attached to how you express (only wearing a swim suit) in order to get to that mental state of Hawaii.
Sincerely, Disappointed
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Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Dream Expert,
II am at the airport with my daughter Samantha. There is something off about the flight schedules. I am supposed to take this one connecting flight, or I can skip it and get on a direct flight. Samantha gets on the other plane. I am worried about my luggage getting on the plane if I don’t take the connecting flight I am scheduled for. I go to the front desk and ask the lady about it. I decided to take the plane that my daughter is on. I run down the hall and outside to get on that plane. When I get outside this man tells me the plane already left. I am disappointed.
I am talking to my pregnant friend and I ask her about her due date. She says it is February, and I thought it was May. I ask if she will take maternity leave, and she says no because she lives on a military base with her husband and he may be away. I ask what she will do about child care, and she says she doesn’t know. I tell her she should start looking because it can take a long time to find someone good. I ask her if she is scared and she says no, she is excited. I think to myself, “I wouldn’t want to be her. It is going to be hard.”
Sincerely, Stranded
Sincerely, Helpful Friend
Dear Helpful Friend, Dear Stranded, An airplane represents how you use your thoughts to achieve some goal. Since many people fly on a commercial plane, it also shows you are aligning your thoughts with a group or organization. You have a new idea (your daughter) who is clearly aligned with where you are going since she gets on a plane without hesitation. You are worried about how your selfexpression will keep up with you as you venture out to attain your goal. This concern causes you to miss the plane (i.e. miss an opportunity to achieve your goal.
There is a part of you (represented by your friend) who is formulating a new idea (pregnant). The new idea is coming sooner than you think. You question whether you should take time to nurture this new idea, but the other part of you feels that it cannot because you have a way of thinking that is very disciplined and does not believe in rest and relaxation (military base home). You tell this part of yourself it would be beneficial to find help to take care of this new idea. Part of you is excited about the birth of this new idea, and another part of you feels it will be hard and overwhelming to deal with this new idea.
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.
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A NEW SOUL SONG FOR HUMANITY by Sharon Carne
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he use of sound for healing is as old as the human family itself. We evolved with sound as a healer. It’s in the genetic memory of every human being on the planet. In these chaotic times, where we are inundated with sound and noise, we’ve lost touch with that memory.
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Sound (and music) also awakens your soul and your soul’s purpose. And, right now, our human family and our beautiful planet needs the collective soul song from every heart to sing a new way of being. Connected to heart and soul. Reminders of who we really are at our essence.
This collective soul song is as ancient as you are. Your entire being sings with this song. It is a part of you. For several thousand years, humanity has been singing songs that are divisive. Separating hearts and voices that are designed to sing together.
But now, with so many hearts and souls evolving into a new way of being, we are creating a new chorus to this ancient song. A chorus that is steeped in our inherent power as cocreators with the universe.
We are waking up to the enor mous power of thought and emotion. Angry, fearful thoughts do create an angry, fearful experience of the world. Compassionate, kind thoughts do create a compassionate, kind experience of the world.
MEET YOUR INNER SAGE We are waking up to the individual and collective power of the third eye. The third eye chakra is on the forehead, between the eyes and just above the eyebrows. In myauthenticlifemagazine.com 87
the endocrine system governs the pituitary and pineal glands. Physically, it also governs the brain, nervous system, eyes, ears, and nose. The third eye represents intelligence, intuition, and perception, especially what I like to call ‘intelligent perception.’ Perception, that is, how we see our world, is completely ruled by our perceptual filters. The term, perceptual filter, comes from the world of advertising where they are created to entice people to buy products. The term for the same process in the field of psychology is selective perception. Wikipedia defines selective perception as, “the process by which individuals perceive what they want to in media messages while ignoring opposing viewpoints. It is a broad term to identify the behavior all people exhibit to tend to ‘see things’ based on their particular frame of reference. It also describes how we categorize and interpret sensory
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information in a way that favors one category or interpretation over another. In other words, selective perception is a form of bias because we interpret information in a way that is congruent with our existing values and beliefs. Psychologists believe this process occurs automatically.” INTELLIGENT PERCEPTION is the realization and understanding that everything you ‘see’ and experience in your world is a CHOICE.
day.” or “Who does that guy think he is, cutting me off like that!” or “This person must be late for work.” Or whatever significance you attribute to the event. What we FORGET is that our response to anything that happens in our daily life is a CHOICE. When you really let that fact sink into your being, you then begin to ask, “How do I choose to respond to this?”
What you see around you during your everyday life are occurrences and events. YOU are the one who gives these meaning.
Meet your INNER SAGE! When you begin to do this, you begin to sing a new song of empowerment.
What happens to you in your daily life is just that. Something happens, like someone cutting you off in traffic on your way to work. That is a simple occurrence that has no meaning.
To sing this song of empowerment continuously takes a huge commitment to becoming RESPONSIBLE for your thoughts. You become aware that everything you perceive in your life is colored by a perceptual filter.
You create meaning about the occurrence with your RESPONSE to it. Like “This is going to be a bad
The FACT is, you are choosing your thoughts all day long. Most of us choose our thoughts unconsciously.
crystals. He documented this in several books. As Masaro Emoto traveled the world lecturing, he also gathered groups of people together to chant or pray for a polluted lake. The water pollution was measured before the event and again after the event. In 1999 he did this experiment at Lake Biwa in Japan. The lake was choked with algae, had a foul odor and much of the plant life and animal life in it was dying.
When you choose your thoughts consciously and take responsibility for that, your whole world changes. You are the only one who can do this for yourself. The cool thing about this new song of empowerment is that you begin to notice others who are singing the same song.
MEET HUMANITY’S INNER SAGE Then begins the quiet collective
song of connectedness. Meet humanity’s inner SAGE! Singing together, chanting together connects us like nothing else can. It reminds us that as a collective, we have enormous power to guide change. You may remember Masaro Emoto, who raised our consciousness about how words, sounds or feelings change the structure of water
A month after the group had chanted and prayed around the lake, the foul odor was gone, algae taken from the lake was down to 110 tons from 1500 tons the previous year and life was beginning to return. As you can see, our collective heart song and soul song is immensely powerful, especially when it is used consciously. Are you ready? Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness and the Sound Wellness Institute. Through the Sound Wellness Institute, holistic health practitioners receive the highest level of competency training in using sound and music to support their practice. Sound Wellness programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you and support your health. www.soundwellness.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 89
THE POWER OF THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT by Dean Griffiths
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n one of Stephen King’s best novels 11/22/63, he tells the story of a young man named Jake who discovers a portal back to 1958 in a diner’s pantry. After a few visits, Jakes realizes that he can alter history, though however long he stays in the past, only two minutes go by in the present.
Jake returns to the future expecting to find a different and improved world. Which it was, though not as he expected. Earthquakes occur everywhere, his old home is in ruins, and nuclear war has destroyed much of the world. Distraught, Jake returns to 1958 once again and resets history.
Jake’s decides to stay in the past until 1963 in order to prevent the assassination of John F. Kennedy, with the hope that this will have a positive effect on humanity and events in the future. After years of stalking Lee Harvey Oswald, Jake manages to prevent him from shooting Kennedy.
This idea that everything is connected is nothing new and is the basis of much of modern science, so what effect can an ordinary action, like reading this article have on your future? I want to suggest that your future would be entirely different if you weren’t here, reading this article.
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This is called the Butterfly Effect. The term “The Butterfly Effect”, was a phenomenon proposed in a doctoral thesis written in 1963 by Mathematician and Meteorologist, Edward Lorenz. The theory states that even the most subtle and unobtrusive change affects other things, which build upon each other, and may eventually result in a massive change. For example, when a butterfly flaps its wings somewhere in the world it can cause a tornado in another part of the world. In essence, the butterfly effect portrays how every thought and decision we make and every
action we take has a profound effect on everyone and everything around us. It comes down to understanding that even the smallest stone, once thrown into the water can cause large ripples. History is littered with stories that could be attributed to The Butterfly Effect. For example, in 1905, the academy of Fine Arts in Vienna rejected an application. Twice. That rejection gave us the Third Reich. That aspiring art student was Adolf Hitler, who after his mother’s death had moved to Vienna to study art. It was at that time he became antiSemitic. From there he joined the German army and moved up the ranks. What would history have been if that application had been accepted and he had spent his time on figure drawings instead? Well, if we look back at the Stephen King novel, then actually we don’t know. See, I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason and that if I had to go back and live my life again, I wouldn’t do anything different. This is because I don’t know which events would actually improve what I now experience and what wouldn’t. We work on the basis that every action has some kind of effect on something or someone, even if in an indirect way. Would we then approach our decisions and actions that we take today, tomorrow and for the rest of our
lives from a different perspective? If you realize that you cannot “opt out” of your reality. No matter what you choose, you are making choices consciously and unconsciously all the time that have the potential for profound effects on our future in some way or another. Think of it as throwing a dice. The outcome of the dice depends on initial conditions like the direction you throw it or the thrust. A slight difference in your throw can result in completely different outcome on the dice. Actually thinking of it from this perspective, the chances of rolling sixes twice in a row has a 0.5% chance of happening.
So what would happen if we consciously dial into the Butterfly Effect? Life is amazing if we see it in a different way. So firstly, look at everything that happened in your life as the result of choices that you made at some point, and trust that they were the right choices. We cannot change what happened, though we can change how we see what happened and how we use this to change how we live our life now and in the future.
Going forward, consider that even your slightest actions can forever change your life, others, and the planet. The Butterfly Effect spreads its wings perpetually, so understand that virtually anything is possible. Figure out what you want to achieve in your life and then each day feel empowered, with a knowing that every action, big or small is creating life. When you become an active participant in your life, you realize that life does not happen to you, it happens through you. Dean Griffiths is known as The Soul Whisperer, a gifted intuitive coach who works with female entrepreneurs to empower them to live a life of purpose, through his intuitive consultations and Inner Journey Coaching program. Dean is also the founder of Energy Fusion, a health and wellbeing app that informs and inspire users to take charge of their health through engaging animated videos, e-books, seasonal recipes and meditation music. Everything is based on over 30 years of experience and backed by science.
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PERSONAL AND SPIRITUAL
Transformation by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
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ransformation is defined as a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance. In psychology, transformation often refers to the unconscious becoming conscious. Spiritual transformation is defined as a fundamental change in a person’s sacred or spiritual life. In my practice, I am fortunate to be able to facilitate my clients’ personal, behavioral and spiritual journeys, and
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am frequently the witness of impressive transformations. These transformations are often quite dramatic, though my clients may see the process as slow or unrecognizable. But as their facilitator, I am able to observe these changes from a larger perspective and as a result, I can see how the changing patterns are actually indicators of larger transformations. What types of transformations do I witness?
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•
•
•
An increased calmness in the individual’s demeanor as evidenced by a more relaxed body, a slower speech pattern, and a less intense energy pattern. It’s as if they vibrate more slowly.
but who have not earned that valuable trust. Be cautious of what you share with these folks. •
The third group includes people with whom you can socialize comfortably, even if they don’t share all your deepest values and beliefs.
•
You may have additional groups. Be willing to re-assess your current friends, co-workers and family members, and to potentially re-determine your relationships and their group-position. And remember that appropriate boundaries should be maintained with members of all of your groups.
An increased ability to respond rather than to react. A willingness (or necessity) to look at the members of their friend and professional groups to determine where each person should be positioned in the concentric circles of relationships:
•
The closest group to you should be those few people who have already earned your trust!
•
The next group are those who you enjoy being with,
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An increased willingness and ease to address and heal the deeper challenges of life.
CLEANING ‘HOUSE’
To begin: recognize and appreciate the behavioral changes, however small they seem, and then watch the change spread to other aspects of your life/relationships/ behaviors/habits, etc. As the change expands, it forms a deeper inner conversation so that your potential for tackling the areas that are perceived as more difficult become even more available. From there it is communicated to the Higher Self for ever more changes to be able to occur. Here’s a more concrete explanation: You don’t typically reorganize a house in one sitting. Just the thought of it may seem too overwhelming, and even one room can seem daunting. So you select one shelf, or one drawer and begin there. The completion of that
one location increases your confidence and triggers the part of your brain that appreciates completion so that you want to do more. From a metaphysical approach, if you want to change something, but have found yourself resisting, you can clean a drawer or organize a shelf. As silly as this sounds, the act of evaluating each item to determine if it stays or goes, signals your Higher Self that you are ready to take on the aspects of your life that were previously being resisted.
CHANGING PATTERNS
Many relate transformation to metamorphosis and thus identify with the symbolism of the caterpillar that changes into a butterfly. The main difference between metamorphosis and transformation is that a metamorphosis appears sudden and complete, while a transformation occurs over
time and may not be as readily apparent to self or others. Yet often at some point, you or others will suddenly realize how profoundly you have changed, and may even have difficulty remembering from where you originally came. Realize that you are no longer that person with whom you used to identify, therefore many of your old patterns – anxiety, communication, habits, responses to others – may have been left behind as well. You don’t have to look back. Author James Baldwin wrote, “It is perfectly possible — indeed, it is far from uncommon — to go to bed one night, or wake up one morning, or simply walk through a door one has known all one’s life, and discover, between inhaling and exhaling, that the self-one has sewn together with such effort is all dirty rags, is unusable, is gone: and [to wonder] out of what raw material will one build a self again?”
If this occurs, don’t be frightened. Acknowledge that your Higher Self is readying for a great transformation, and know that the raw materials to create this transformation are, and have always been, within you! Because of free will, you are not required to engage, but I hope that you will and that you will consider utilizing the support of a trusted friend, spiritual counselor or therapist. Psychologist Erich Fromm said that we have a responsibility to ourselves and to one another to know our interiority intimately and hold our darkest sides up to the light of awareness. Please don’t be afraid to view these shadows. Recognition and acceptance of all aspects of you are where real peace resides. This is what ultimately brings the inner calm and allows you to vibrate at a different frequency. This is transformation. I encourage you to take this journey and wish you peace and ease. May it be, and feel, profound. Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@ spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom. net for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 97
Wealth Consciousness
Manifest your destiny
WHAT IS SUCCESS? by Corey Poirier
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e hear the word success thrown around every day. Lists of people who have achieved success are just as wide-spread.
bank balance or having no debt. For others, it means having freedom of time or choices. For some, it means having a wellbalanced family or social life.
What I find interesting is when you ask people what success means to them, everyone has a different (or at least slightly different) answer.
The list goes on, and on.
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With so many definitions of success, it is no short wonder that so many have dedicated so much time to researching and teaching the foundations of success.
Without a definitive answer, it also begs the question, how do you know if you are truly a success, your business is truly a success, how do you know if you are on the right track, and even whether it is important to you? Interestingly, in my own study (4000 interviews, thousands of hours invested, 15 years of personal study, and
If you don’t have your own definition of success, know what it means to you, and/or you haven’t decided how you will eventually achieve success, at least by your definition, your odds of ever realizing it are very limited, at best. Here then are a few of my favorite Success Definitions, so that you can perhaps start working on your own definition today:
“Success for me is maintaining rewarding relationships with those I love while I share success principles with the world.”
—Success Legend Zig Ziglar
counting), I have yet to come up with one conclusive (or inclusive) generic sentence to define success. To that end, instead of attempting to give you one specific/inclusive answer, I have decided to list some of my favorite definitions from some of my personal interviews so that you can decide what success means
to you, and perhaps even write your own definition to help you achieve that definition in your personal and professional life. Why? Despite the fact that I haven’t discovered one inclusive definition that applies to everyone equally, I have discovered this:
“It’s certainly not all about material items. It can be that for some people, but success to me is about having full control over your own time, and your life. As they say, one man’s Ferrari is another man’s ten speed.”
—Alan Frew (Lead Singer, Glass Tiger)
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“To be able to march to the beat of a person’s own drum without having to sell-out, that is one way I would describe success. Actually, I think Bob Dylan said it best when he said ‘a man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between, he does what he wants to do’.”
—Gair Maxwell (Branding Expert)
Notice that none of the definitions above are specifically about having a lot of personal material, or having a massive
amount of money – although when I ask people who haven’t discovered their core purpose yet, it is always about money.
The question becomes, which group do you want to be in?
Corey Poirier is an award-winning Keynote speaker, multiple-time TEDx, PMx and MoMonday’s Speaker. He is also the host of the top rated ‘Conversations with PASSION’ Radio Show and a newer top rated speaking related podcast, founder of The Speaking Program, he has been featured in one-hour television specials on Eastlink TV and TeleTelevision and he is a columnist with Entrepreneur Magazine, Progress Magazine. He has also appeared / or been featured in Global TV, CBS, CTV, NBC, ABC, CBC TV, Second City, and is one of the few leaders featured twice on the popular Entrepreneur on Fire show. Corey has interviewed over 4,000 of the world’s top leaders in search of success traits. One of his most recent talks took him to New York City where he had the extreme pleasure of speaking to At-Risk Youth at the Brooklyn Navy Yard Boys & Girls Club. 102 | MY Magazine
Interested In Writing? We are changing the world one article at a time!
info@mymediagroup.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 103
GREAT LEADERS
ASK GREAT QUESTIONS
by Lisa Marie Platske
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were and where they wanted to be proved to be a more challenging task than I imagined.
Inviting current and future leaders to the table to have honest discussions about where they
Just imagine me asking the question, “Who are you?” -and getting a CEO to share that they really aren’t sure anymore. I sat listening as he struggled
hen I opened the doors to Upside Thinking, Inc., all I wanted to do was transform lives through leadership development.
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with this surprising realization. Or, imagine when I asked the question, “What do you want?”, and had an attorney break down and say I’ve never thought about what I wanted. She detailed all of the choices and countless sacrifices she’d
Not all questions are created equally, however, when you spend time giving as much energy to crafting great questions as you do creating answers to those questions, you will discover the secret space that explains why great leaders ask great questions. When I was working with a client last month, she was struggling with a situation that had paralyzed her. By choosing to get curious, I asked deeper questions and the impasse was resolved. So, what questions did I ask to take a situation that had been bubbling up for weeks to find a solution in a matter of minutes? One of the most poignant questions I asked was, “Who do you become when you are stuck?” As she examined her behavior change, she recognized that part of the “stuck-ness” was less about the situation and more about how she operates when she doesn’t have an answer. This change in behavior stops her creativity and belief in her own capabilities.
made in her life for other people – her family, her friends, and her temple community. Great questions make you think -- and many people don’t take the time to identify what they want or where they’re headed. The right questions when
pondered give you the opportunity to slow down and pause in the middle of the hustle and bustle of daily life. You get to reflect and redirect your attention on a bigger possibility, one of your own design.
Her confidence wanes and she ends up in the spiral of downside thinking. As we examined what she wants to do differently, she shared that she wants to become a person who is able to stand in her truth without the guilt of having to be perfect. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 105
Once again, you become what you practice. So, who are you becoming? I invite you to finish the statement “I am becoming the person who....” every morning for the next 7 days.
Wow. This realization got me thinking. What if everyone answered that statement each morning. “I am becoming the person who… What freedom and wisdom could come from a dialogue that started with possibility. And, then I thought about where I am in my own life. Who am I becoming? And, what if I answered the statement, “I am becoming the person who....” and created the ability to stand in my own power to choose. Because I am committed to mercy, justice, and protection, I filled-in-the-blanks with the following statement, “I am becoming the person who is comfortable with being vulnerable so that I can be seen 106 | MY Magazine
for who I really am and gives others permission to do the same.”
Wow. When you get curious about why something shows up for you over and over, you are able to make changes to increase your peace of mind. This is because you become what you practice. This even shows up in my positioning work with clients. When I am working with a client on crafting positioning statements, I share that the statements are magical because of what doors they can open. Yet, most people don’t speak like this because it isn’t a natural pattern of speech. You have to train your brain and practice being seen.
Email me and share what comes up for you. Remember, the world needs you and your brilliance.
Lisa Marie Platske left her action-packed life as a Federal law enforcement officer to become the CEO of international leadership company, Upside Thinking, Inc. An award-winning leadership expert and #1 best-selling international author of 4 books, she takes her law enforcement journey which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11 and shares what exceptional leaders do differently and how to be positioned as an expert in order to seize big opportunities. As a certified master coach, Lisa Marie coaches women in business around the globe. With experience working with clients in over 20 different industries, her proven 7-step formula has resulted in her clients being seen, heard, and recognized for their work without having to change who they are. The founder of Design Your Destiny LIVE (www.DesignYourDestinyLive), she lives in Alexandria, Virginia with her loving and supportive husband Jim and their two pet foxes.
“Faith Is Taking the First Step Even When You Don’t See the Whole Staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
BE UNSTOPPABLE & CHANGE THE WORLD Have Maria Rea, The Publisher Of MY Authentic Life & CEO of MY Media & Publishing Group Speak At Your Next Event
TOPICS SUCH AS: • The Power Of Living Your Courageous Life • Empowering Women To Let Go Of Self-Doubt & Fear • Living In An Ego Driven World
Contact Maria at maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com
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MONEY MESSAGES DELIVERED BY MOTHER NATURE by Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP®
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ll of our hearts go out to the people in Texas, Florida, and the Caribbean dealing with the aftermath of the hurricanes, the people recovering and rebuilding after a powerful earthquake in Mexico, and the millions affected by heavy monsoons in parts of Asia. Seeing the images on TV of the flooding, the rescues, and the people in shelters has had me thinking about what we all can learn from this. Gratitude for what’s most important. In everyday life, it’s easy to focus on getting ahead, material accumulation, and the minutia and worries of daily life. Sadly, sometimes it takes
a huge event to wake us up and bring our attention back to what is most important in life. It can be an illness, death of a loved one, or a natural disaster. In the TV interviews after the recent hurricanes, I noticed over and over that people will mention the loss, fear, and grief they are feeling, but also their gratitude for getting out safely and for the responders and volunteers who have helped. Take a moment right now and think of three things you are most grateful for in your life. A focus on gratitude can move you from fear, sadness, and worry to allow you to be better able to actually help and support. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 109
Prepare for the unexpected. Don’t miss the message that those of us left physically unscathed by this disaster can learn from the people affected. Do you have the proper homeowners and auto insurance in place? Do you have a box with important documents you can grab if you needed to leave your home quickly or do you have this information securely stored online where you could easily access? Have you built up your solutions fund (aka emergency fund) in case your income stops for a while? Help where you can. I find it so inspiring after the hurricanes seeing ordinary citizens in their
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boats, kayaks, and Jet Ski’s rescuing people. In Mexico, residents cleared the streets with shovels. The stories of neighbors helping neighbors are so heartwarming. Actually watching other’s kind acts can inspire and motivate more good deeds. I typically don’t watch a lot of news as it feels so bad – but this type of news is different. This is when humanity is at its best. If you aren’t helping directly with the flood or earthquake victims, where can you lend a hand or do a kind deed? Open your heart and your wallet. Don’t just feel bad about these disasters; listen to the pull you are feeling to
help. Donate what you can. The need is expected to go on for a long time with so many people displaced from their homes. There are so many ways you can help with the cleanup. It’s a great idea to check out charities before you donate money. Sadly during times of crisis unscrupulous people step in and try to take advantage of people’s generosity. With a little investigating, you can find a legitimate organization with values matching your own and that efficiently delivers programs. You’ll find out if the money you donate will reach the people in need and have the greatest impact.
Here are some ways to research a charity before you give:
1
Check out the organization’s website. Most sites have an “About Us” or “Our Mission” tab. Choose a charity whose values and purpose match your own.
2
Find out if your donations will be tax deductible. Exempt Organizations Select Check is an online search tool that allows users to search for and select an exempt organization and check certain information about its federal tax status and filings.
3
Find out if the organization efficiently uses the donations they receive. You can do this by checking with one or more of the independent groups that evaluate charities.
Charity Navigator Objective ratings for charities
Guidestar. A public
charity that collects, organizes and presents non-profit information in an easy-tounderstand format while remaining neutral.
Charity Watch.
Reports the percent spent on programs and the amount it cost to raise $100. It’s predicted that weather events such as Hurricane Harvey are on this rise. Consider helping organizations that work on the environment such as the Pachamama
Alliance where they stand with the indigenous peoples to protect their Amazonian home and the lungs of our planet in the sacred headwaters of the Amazon in Peru and Ecuador. I traveled into the rainforest this summer with some of the leaders of the Pachamama Alliance and left in awe of the beauty I saw in both the surroundings and the people I met. Lynne Twist (founder of The Pachamama Alliance) and Ellen Rogin in the rainforest in Ecuador Ellen Rogin, CPA and CFP®, is an Abundance Activist® and coauthor of the New York Times best seller: Picture Your Prosperity: Smart Money Moves to Turn Your Vision into Reality. Learn more about Ellen and her programs at. www.ellenrogin.com
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Healthy Living
HOW SEASONS INFLUENCE YOUR MINDSET
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by Mella Barnes
D
epending on where you live, you’ve probably entered the cooler part of the fall season by now. The leaves may be changing and you’ve started to wear jackets and put away your shorts. I’m from Michigan, and I remember everyone in my life becoming SO EXCITED for the fall season. They were excited about the cooler months, “sweater weather,” and the upcoming holidays. I dreaded the fall and was angry that no one else felt this way. I hate being cold, so clearly, I’m not made for Michigan. “Sweater weather” to me is winter coat and 4 scarves weather. The holidays are fine, but fall also meant back to school, which I loathed with all my heart. Even as an adult, the sight of “Back to School Sale” signs makes me slightly sick. My dad agrees. When I mentioned it once, he told me his “heart starts beating weird” when he sees school supplies. He should probably see a doctor, but also it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Obviously, my dad and I are in the minority for not enjoying the fall season. You may be excited about the upcoming change. Maybe winter is your worst season, with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) playing a role. I’m not a fan of the winter either, but mostly it’s just because I hate cold weather. Like it or not, you have to adapt to the climate you’re in (or else move, which isn’t always possible). How can you prepare for the season you hate most? My biggest tip is to hibernate as much as possible. You might think I become less productive during the cold seasons, but the opposite is actually true. Since I get too cold when I go outside, it means I have a lot of time to stay in and get work done. In fact, my least productive season by far is summer. I spend every possible moment outside. You may be the opposite and want to spend every minute of summer indoors in the air conditioning, so do that! Make summer your work time. If you don’t like being outside, go inward during that
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season. Make household changes, do some journaling, work on you. Secondly, I like to give myself something to look forward to during the cold seasons. I’m lucky enough to have most of the major holidays (including Halloween, my fave) during the cold seasons. You might not have much to look forward to during your worst seasons, so make something up! Tackle that renovation you’ve been dreaming about. Start that project. Do that thing you’ve been putting off. Most importantly, celebrate every single thing you get done. When you give yourself rewards, you encourage yourself to keep going (we’re not much different from dogs in that way). 116 | MY Magazine
Finally, it’s so important to remember that whatever season we’re in, it will be over soon. This goes for both your most hated season (so you can look forward to the end) and your most loved (so you can appreciate each moment). Of course, “soon” is relative. I strongly feel that winter in Michigan lasts at least 6 months, but I know others disagree with me because to them, 40 degrees isn’t winter. But nothing lasts, and nothing was meant to. It’s okay to be sad sometimes when the weather makes you miserable. It’s okay to take a day off to enjoy the weather you love most. After all, we only have a little bit of each. If you’re like me and the sight of “Back to School” sales make
you panic, here’s what helps me: I take a deep breath and acknowledge that school was a tough time for me. I briefly (VERY briefly) reflect on those days. Then I remind myself that I’m well past that stage of my life, and this “back to school” concept no longer applies to me. I also remind myself that what I went through then made me who I am today. This may or may not be a good thing depending on who you ask, of course. I also head straight to the summer clothes, which are now marked at 80% off. I bring them up to the cashier with a smile, knowing summer will be back again soon.
Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com
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To find out how you can work with our team of professionals to create a customized magazine that fits your needs, contact Maria Rea at maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 117
THE HAPPINESS HABIT by Liz Bull
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ver since I began working with people to help them achieve incredible success with weight loss, I’ve been struck by the relationship between happiness and excess weight. I often hear, “I’ll be happy when I’m thin, when I’ve lost this weight, when I’m no longer fat.” Whaaat??? My response to this is “Why wait?” After all, happiness doesn’t come ready-made off a shelf, and it certainly isn’t something that must be earned by losing weight or being thin. Happiness is not only a birthright, it can be generated. Happiness is also simply a decision, a choice, a HABIT. If you have attached your happiness to exterior conditions... getting a raise, a new car, a better job, money, losing weight, then you’ve gotten it backwards. Happiness comes from the inside out. The bonus of generating happiness is that you can live as your true self. You can express yourself without worrying about others’ opinions. When you do that, you live stressfree. And stress is a major contributor to keeping excess weight! So, Liz, how do I generate happiness??? It’s easier than you think. Here are 7 Happiness Habits: • THREE GOOD THINGS. At the end of each day, write down 3 things that you’re grateful for, no matter how small. I love Bert Jacobs’ ( founder of Life Is Good) story about his mom. Bert’s family was not rich, by the way. Far from it. Every day, his mom would ask her sons to tell her three good things that happened that day. Start there. Maybe you were able to enjoy a beautiful sunset. Or you have a loving family. Focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have.
“Tell me 3 good things that happened today.” — Bert’s mom
• MOVE. Human bodies were meant to move! By regularly moving your body you don’t just become stronger. Exercise can lead to improved brain myauthenticlifemagazine.com 119
you want to experience (new skills, learning a new language, travel, etc). One of my goals in recent years, has been to travel more often and have more fun. Curiosity is the most powerful thing you own.
function. You’ll become more productive, more energetic... ready to handle whatever comes your way.
“Just do it!” —Nike
• KINDNESS. Put a smile on someone’s face ! Mostly, kindness costs nothing. Praise costs nothing. Just smiling at someone costs nothing.
“Go ahead, make someone’s day!” —Liz Bull
• KEEP GOOD COMPANY. The people you hang around with have a huge influence on your life. Avoid the “Debbie Downers”, the “Wally Whiners”, the “Connie Complainers”. Spend as much time as you can with people who are optimistic, who inspire you.
“Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher.” —Oprah Winfrey
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• MEDITATE. Meditating just 15 minutes a day helps you gain clarity and choose how great your day will be. It’s also an amazing stressbuster. Studies show that you will literally be rewiring the structure of your brain to allow for the experience of more positive emotion. How cool is that?! “Om”- email me for a free meditation MP3 liz@lizbull.com • BE HERE NOW. Your life is made up of moments. Once gone, you can’t live the moments again. Find joy in the present. Immerse yourself in each juicy moment.
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” —Buddha
• CURIOSITY. Feed your mind! Feed your spirit! Feed your soul! Ask yourself what
“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.” —Albert Einstein
READ more in my new bestselling book: Your Amazing Itty Bitty Diet FREE Weight Loss Book. Get it on Amazon. Here’s the link: https://www. amazon.com/Your-AmazingItty-Bitty-Weight-ebook/dp/ B06WVNZ7TV/ref=sr_1_1?ie= UTF8&qid=1500050494&sr=81&keywords=Your+Amazing+Itt y+Bitty®++Diet+FREE+Weight +Loss+Book With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mindset work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com
Life Is Good
Enjoy the Journey