Funeral Times issue 5 2023 by Inhouse

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

2023 Vol.23 No.5

Hello Everyone Thank you so much for visiting us on our stand, it was an absolute pleasure to meet you all at last - seeing your lovely faces rather than voices over the telephone. EEP Co Europe is always available to meet any of your needs, whether it be a technical query or assistance with the application of our products. We are always available via phone or email. Thank you again for visiting us, we hope to see you again. Kindest regards indeed,

Patricia Philippe and the team at EEP Co Ltd and EEP Co Europe info@eepcompany.com +44(0) 1635 299886

Non-religious funeral and memorial ceremonies Meaningful and memorable ceremonies Humanist funerals and memorials are non-religious ceremonies which focus on the person who has died, the life they led, and the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique. A humanist funeral or memorial is the perfect option for families and friends who want a sincere, personal commemoration of their loved one, without religion. Each funeral and memorial ceremony is tailored to the person who has died, and the wishes of the people who love them, in the most fitting way possible. That may be an upbeat celebration of life or a ceremony with a more traditional tone. Humanist funerals are inclusive and welcoming to people of all backgrounds and faiths. They often include time for reflection on the person who has died, when those with religious beliefs can say a silent prayer, if they wish. Humanist funerals and memorial ceremonies are conducted by our trained and accredited celebrants.

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Humanist Ceremonies™ is part of Humanists UK, a registered charity in England and Wales (no. 285987) and company limited by guarantee (no. 228781)

> humanist.uk/ceremonies

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

Funeral Times Trade Show 2023 Page 7

Presidents lunch Page 28

Contents

Funeral Times Trade Show 2023...........................................................................................7 New Belfast office for O’Neills Funeral Directors..................................................... 12 Community Assistance Programme supports charities...........................................18 How to keep your Facebook page safe......................................................................... 22 Eimer scoops Good Funeral award.................................................................................. 24 IAFD News . ................................................................................................................................26 BIE News....................................................................................................................................... 34 Preparing for a funeral without a priest.......................................................................... 41 Tim Collison on the problems caused by burns ......................................................48 Dealing with death at Christmas by Ian Fee................................................................ 54 SAIF News.................................................................................................................................... 56 Jennifer Muldowney celebrates women in business...............................................60 Michael earns his Diploma................................................................................................... 63 Dr Bill Webster looks at grief, health and wellness in the workplace.............70 Pure reflections and water cremation by Mattie Lennon..................................... 72 Chest Heart & Stroke on the gift of hope this Christmas..................................... 75 NAFD News ............................................................................................................................... 76 Classifieds ....................................................................................................................................81

EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING CONTACTS: Graham Brown, Ruth McQuillan, Vikki Crangle, Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF E: sales@funeraltimes.com

Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused. FuneralTimes | 3

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QUALITY WHERE IT MATTERS Established in the early 1990’s, DJ MacNeice & Company Limited has forged a reputation as the leading supplier and manufacturer in the funeral business in Ireland. Here at DJ MacNeice, we value the needs and individual requirements of each of our customers. That is why all our mortuary and funeral products are sourced and manufactured to meet the highest industry production standards.

Here at DJ MacNeice & Co we cover all your funeral supplies needs from embalming fluids, mortuary supplies for mounting and linings for caskets and coffins, grave mat sets, grave markers and a high quality selection of urns and keepsakes cards. All our products are manufactured to the highest standards. All new solid and plastic handles at a competitive price! (Contains 8 pieces in set) High quality metal handles finished in polished gold effect. Perfect for every coffin in the market. 39 euro a set. High quality ABS Plastic Handles finished in polished gold. Perfect for cremation coffins 12 euro a set

www.djmacneice.com info@djmacneice.com (071) 913 3145 Please contact (071) 913 3145 for more information.

A successful ‘Show at the Races’ The Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland® 2023 took place at The Pavilion, Leopardstown, Dublin in the first week of October and was a huge success for exhibitors, visitors and presenters.

he Funeral Times Trade Show Ireland® 2023 opened at 12noon on Tuesday 3rd October and visitors were queuing up to get through the doors to see the huge selection of new products and ideas which the 50 plus stand holders had on display. Even before coming into the Pavilion, visitors were excited to see a range of hearses which were on display outside. The value of business transacted reached new highs according to reports. Almost a thousand people attended the show over the two days which delighted both ourselves, at Funeral Times,

Colin from Green Coffins Ireland doin g business!

and participants. “The show has become an eagerly anticipated fixture on the Irish expo calendar”, says Ruth McQuillan, show co-ordinator, “We were very pleased with the number of stand holders wanting to exhibit this year which was even more than pre-pandemic shows. It was great to welcome exhibitors from the UK and across Europe as well as our own Irish businesses”. “We did our best to squeeze everybody into the new venue and feedback has been very positive. As I wasn’t able to there in person, I’m told there was a great buzz about the

place and everybody seemed to enjoy themselves.” The educational seminars and meetings organised by the professional bodies - which included a number of eminent guest speakers - were well received. The new venue offered some breathtaking views across the racecourse and the weather was kind allowing visitors to wander around the outdoor offerings on their way to and from the Pavilion building. If you would like more information on the next show, please contact Ruth McQuillan on T: 028/048 3835 5060.

GM Canopies providing some outside cover!

Talking shop with Glyn of Tallon Mortuary Specialists

from Eamon, Geert and Enda Funeral Supplies Donegal

Duffy Coachbodies

Nadia and Valerie on the NI Chest Heart and Stroke sta nd

ary with Peter Sandor, and Joe O’Dwyer from Tipper Ireland Gleeson of Celtic Coffins

Celebrants Siobhán Walls and Ruth Scott at the Humanist Association of Ireland stand

David

A birds eye view!

Phillippe Dubresson of EEP & Co Ltd. takes a breather at their very busy stand!

Alannah Pardy of Recapture One, shows us her delightful stand

Vincy Bear keeps Debbie Quinn company on the Fearghas Quinn Hearse and Limousine stand Eamon Glennon Ltd’s fabulous show-stopping, golden coffin

Exec Andrew Judd NAFD Chief l Times era Fun wn with Graham Bro

Expert Coffin weaving taking place on the Green Coffins Ireland stand

Fiona Toal serenaded visitors over the tw o days

Quinn’s Vincy Bear awaits his new owner!

tley llagher eyeing up the Ben Seamus and Kathleen Ga ine ous by Wilcox Hearse and Lim

Visitors enjoy chatting with Liza Webster of Treasured Keepsakes

n of cAlinde st Louise M et Me Nots Tru rg o F e tl Lit

It was standing room only in the Mazwell Seminar Pa villion!

Elaine Geoghegan and Des Locke of Shepherds Funeral Sup plies

The perfect coffin for any race day fan!

Checking out some of the hearses on offer

Visitors chat ting with D eclan Finnegan o f Lakelands Crematorium

man

ole e from C The Etiv Milne

Bogdan Duzel and Damian Flynn, Creative Binding Solutions

Some of the clothing on offer from Shepherds

Visitors admiring the motorcycle hearse from Massey Bros

A selection of models on

display outside

Richard Lynch from Obit

ipment Box Cold (Mortuary Equ er! foy y bus y ver a in ) ect Dir

A very busy Humprey Lynch stand

Ian Deboys representing Northern Ireland Humanists

René Freeney had a busy Cullen Funeralcare stand

Jennifer Muldowney, Eimer Duffy and Glyn Tallon

couple of days on the

Brothers, Ryan and Christo pher Sheals, of S. Sheals & Son s

Marko Dakin of Memorial Trees has a chat with a visitor Talking shop with Fearghas Quinn, Fearghas Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Damian Flynn having a busy few days on the Creative Binding Solutions stand

World Champion Piper, Eamonn Walsh, welcomed visitors on their arrival at the show

O’Neill’s Funeral Directors Serving the community since 1991 In the heart of their beloved community, O’Neill’s Funeral Directors have been a pillar of support for local families during their most challenging moments since 1991. They are honoured to announce the opening of their new office at 228 Falls Road, Belfast, expanding their commitment to serving with compassion and dedication.

heir mission is simple yet profound: ‘Our Family Helping Yours.’ They strive to provide unparalleled support and care during your time of need, ensuring that every detail is handled with the utmost respect and empathy. They are committed to

providing the highest quality of service at the best possible value in the local area. With full planning permission granted and having just opened recently on Monday 13th November. The premises have undergone extensive works these past few months

to make it the best available facilities for the families who require their services. They are holding an open weekend on Saturday 18th and Sunday 19th November 9am5.30pm. This is the opening hours of their new premises 7 days a week.

Pictured L-R: Laurence O’Neill Jnr, Deacon John Downey, Laurence O’Neill Snr Martin Downey 12 |and FuneralTimes

The business has gone from strength to strength with an expanding business and new team members leading to the opening of their new funeral home. As they embark on this new chapter with the opening of the new Falls Road office, they want to express their gratitude to those within the funeral business and associated suppliers who have wished them well and supported them to open these new facilities. “It is an honour to be a part of this community, and we look forward to continuing to serve you with the same compassion, respect, and professionalism that have defined our legacy.”

Welcome to the team We would like to welcome Deacon John Downey to our team here at O’Neills. With his compassionate nature and deep commitment to serving families across the Colin Parishes, Deacon John will be a valuable team member. He will be assisting families

with funeral arrangements at both of our funeral homes. Deacon John’s dedication to providing comfort and support to those in need aligns perfectly with our mission to serve with empathy and care, his presence will be a comforting source of strength for the families we serve.

“Our Family Helping Yours”

Deacon John Downey

• Best service in Funeral Care • Most Qualified Funeral Directors • Most Affordable Funeral Care, with prices from £1995 • Established over 30 years • Independent Family Run Business FuneralTimes | 13

E-Class Hearse & Limousine

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Historic Funeral Directors takes on first apprentice in more than a century A Funeral Directors which has been serving the community for close to 120 years has taken on its first apprentice in its long and celebrated history.

hloe Coleman, 22, joined James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors in the summer, and is thriving in her role as Apprentice Receptionist Administrator. She combines her role at the funeral home on Newtownards Road, Belfast, where she is often the first face visiting families see, with studies provided by apprenticeship provider Inspiro Learning. Chloe was inspired to apply for the position after seeing a Funeral Arranger talking about her role on TikTok. “It might sound silly, but I had not expected the work to be so interesting and rewarding,”

she said. “So, when I saw the role advertised online I applied, and from the very first conversation I had about it, it felt right and I have enjoyed each day since. “I love being able to help families when they’re obviously having a very difficult time. “People are just so grateful for what we do for them. It’s really fulfilling.” Chloe said she would recommend apprenticeships to people who are leaving school and are unsure about what they wanted to do in the future. “In my opinion, apprenticeships are amazing –

they’re a brilliant opportunity for people,” she said. “Being here every day means I can learn and earn money at the same time.” Emma Moore, who is Branch Development Manager at Funeral Partners, said: “Having an apprentice is proving a real asset to our team. “Chloe has brought new ideas and a new perspective which is really refreshing. “We felt this was the right time to bring in an apprentice as, traditionally, the profession has sometimes been difficult to enter and we felt we wanted to nurture someone right through the career paths we have available.”

Chloe Coleman at James Brown and Sons Funeral Directors

FuneralTimes | 17

Community Assistance Programme launched to support charities and not-for-profit organisations A Funeral Directors that has been serving the community of North Down for more than 60 years has launched an initiative to support local projects and build long-lasting relationships.

he John Gray & Co Community Assistance Programme is ready to award small grants of £300 to eligible organisations in their community. John Gray & Co Funeral Directors aim to support projects taking place within one mile of their funeral homes in Bangor, Holywood and Newtownards. The team want to support causes led by people who have a clear understanding of community issues and that address the needs of the most disadvantaged people in the local area. Funeral Manager Barbara Wilson said: “Everyone at John Gray & Co Funeral Directors is proud to be working for a business which has been serving our communities for so long. “These are challenging economic times, with organisations having to evaluate how and where they spend their money. 18 | FuneralTimes

Sandra Williamson, Senior Funeral Arranger, Anne Marie Gallagher, Funeral Arranger and Barbara Wilson, Funeral Manager “This will undoubtedly have a knock-on effect for community projects, especially at grassroots level, and we want to help them so they can continue their outstanding work.

“But we don’t want to give the grant and that be the end of the matter. “We are keen to use this as a first step in building longterm relationships with the organisations who contact us.”

Community library in Dunmurry supporting bereaved people A funeral arranger is helping to support the community through the sharing of books. Lisa Hutchinson, of James Brown and Sons in Dunmurry, has set up the ‘Share and Care Community Library’ at the funeral home. The library boasts several books, from thought provoking and comforting memoirs to helpful guides, with the collection set to capture topics relating to death, dying, funeral care and bereavement. All books are available to borrow for free and there is no time limit for their return. It is hoped that this service can establish the funeral home as a helpful hub where members of the community visit to access support.

Lisa said: “Our funeral home is a safe and trusted space, and we are trying to open supportive conversations about death, dying, funeral care and bereavement. We hope the library will be informative as well as offering comfort and support”. If you would like to share your pre-loved book, donations to the library will be gratefully received. Your act of sharing could be the care someone needs. To find out more, call in for a cuppa and a chat with, Lisa. Alternatively, you can contact jamesbrown.dunmurry@funeralpartners. com or telephone 02890 617835.

About Funeral Partners: Funeral Partners is the UK’s third largest funeral business, with more than 230 funeral homes staffed by over 1000 dedicated funeral professionals serving communities across England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Chief Executive Sam Kershaw has over 40 years’ experience in the funeral profession, joining the business back in 2016 as Chief Operating Officer. Funeral Partners, which celebrated its 15-year anniversary in 2022, has grown rapidly, building a strong reputation as a well-run, high-quality funeral services business overseeing more than 25,000 funerals each year. It now includes more than 130 family businesses, which have entrusted their reputation and heritage to Funeral Partners.

For more information about Funeral Partners or if you are considering selling your business visit: www.funeralpartnersnorthernireland.com FuneralTimes | 19

CASSIDY

CHAUFFEUR DRIVE

Newly Restored 1940’s Rolls Royce Hearse For Hire Our recently restored 1940’s Rolls Royce Hearse is available for hire to Funeral Directors, along with one of our drivers, throughout the country. 13 Knockmitten Lane, Western Industrial Estate, Dublin 12 Phone: 01 4501533 / Mobile: 087 2567822

Committed to providing excellence in Embalming and Repatriation At Gormley Mortuary Support, our mission is to provide unparalleled excellence in embalming services. We are committed to utilizing the latest products and techniques available in the industry to ensure the highest standards of preservation and presentation for our clients’ loved ones. Our team is composed of three resident embalmers, each bringing their own unique skill set and expertise to the table. With a combined experience of over 50 years, we have developed a deep understanding of the intricacies of embalming and pride ourselves on delivering exceptional results. Our main embalmer stands out for their extensive training in facial reconstructive surgery. They have completed numerous

courses in this specialized field, even traveling as far as Scotland and France to enhance their knowledge and expertise. This advanced training enables them to perform intricate facial reconstruction procedures, maximizing the restoration of appearance for individuals who have experienced trauma or deterioration. At Gormley Mortuary Support, we firmly believe that every life deserves to be honoured and remembered in the most dignified way. Our commitment to excellence, utilization of cutting-edge products and techniques, and our team’s collective experience make us a trusted choice in the industry. We strive to provide compassionate support to families during their time of need and ensure that their loved ones receive the utmost care and respect.

FuneralTimes | 21

Eimer Duffy is a Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media. Through bespoke solutions, Eimer helps Funeral Professionals gain a better online presence, build communities and trust online with zero stress and hassle in a short space of time. She also co-hosts The Let’s Get Social Show and you can catch that on all the major podcast channels such as Spotify etc... And for more information on what Eimer provides go to www.fitsocialmedia.ie

How to keep your funeral home’s Facebook page safe? A few weeks ago I got a call from a Funeral Director who realised his Facebook personal account had been hacked. And there was one other concern, he had the worry that his Funeral homes’ Facebook pages which are connected to his Facebook personal account were at risk. When it comes to this kind of threat, it’s important to have two key things in place, which I would like to highlight to ensure your Facebook business page is secure.

someone else gaining access to your account. Then I always recommend having at least two Admins in charge of the Facebook business page. Sharing the responsibility not only makes the task lighter. This also adds a layer of safety and security. And ensures the page remains protected and active even if one admin faces problems like hacking. Here are two crucial points to enhance the security of your Facebook business page:

What do you need to do?

Two-Factor Authentication (2FA): Your Online Guard

In order to set up a Facebook business page, a personal Facebook account is required. Always ensure that your personal Facebook account has a strong password and do change it regularly to reduce the possibility of being hacked. I know that can be a hassle but better that than having

22 | FuneralTimes

The online world, while useful, also has its fair share of risks. Hacking is a real threat and the last thing you want is someone getting access to your Facebook business page. Two-

Factor Authentication (2FA) serves as a strong guard, adding an extra layer of security to your Facebook account. Activating 2FA is like having a double-locked door. Along with your usual password, a second form of identification is needed to log in. This could be a code sent to your mobile or an authentication app. It’s an easy yet effective way to prevent unauthorised access.

Quick Communication between Admins: If your personal Facebook account is hacked, having a second Admin is a lifesaver. The other Admin can quickly take action to remove your compromised account from the page. This will protect it from misuse or inappropriate content that could damage your Funeral Home’s reputation. It’s crucial to have fast communication between Admins to handle such emergencies. Your online presence is a true reflection of your heartfelt dedication to the families you serve.

And having your social channels secure is so important.

To Conclude Securing your Funeral home’s Facebook page is a crucial step. Implementing robust passwords is key. Activating Two-Factor Authentication and enlisting at least two Admins is essential. All these will protect your Facebook business page against malicious intrusions.

Need some help? Want more insight into your Funeral Home’s Facebook page’s security? Have any questions on this? Thinking you’d like more information on improving your online presence, marketing strategies and saving time using social media and digital marketing for your funeral home going into 2024? Check out my website: www.fitsocialmedia.ie where you can book a free non-obligatory exploration call or why not email me at eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie and let’s have a chat.

Here’s Eimer Duffy of FIT Social Media in an interview on The Washington State Funeral Director Association’s podcast “Member Talks”.

o hear the interview, scan the QR Code or go to www.wsfda.org and click on their Podcast tab, or head over to Spotify and find “Member Talks” with the Podcast Host and Executive Director of the Association, RobPodcast! Goff. Scan to hear the

Scan to hear the Podcast!

Rob Goff Host of “Member Talks” Interviews Eimer Duffy

Podcast of: The Washington State Funeral Directors Association FuneralTimes | 23

We wish to congratulate Eimer Duffy of FIT Social Media, who won “Best Innovative Product/Service for the UK Funeral Industry” at The Good Funeral Awards in September, hosted by The Association of Green Funeral Directors.

Here are 3 strategy tips tailored for going into 2024 for Funeral homes and businesses: 1. Use Your Google Business Profile Listing: This is more than just a listing; it’s a tool for free marketing. Make sure you’re not just updating business info, but also posting regular updates, responding to reviews, messages and using the Q&A all the new features etc... Google is increasingly integrating this into search results, so a well-maintained profile will significantly boost your visibility.

2. Embrace WhatsApp Business for Customer Service: This offers a more intimate way to interact with clients. You can use it for everything from initial inquiries to aftercare follow-ups. The app allows you to set up automated responses, making it easier to manage communications efficiently. Given the sensitive nature of your industry, a personal touch like this can make all the difference.

3. Leverage Video Content: This is becoming increasingly popular. Consider creating short, impactful videos that showcase your services, share testimonials, or even offer a behind-the-scenes look at your operations. This not only humanises your brand but also engages your audience in a more dynamic way.

Would you like some more? Get in touch and I can provide up-to-date insights and support to help you implement these and other strategies effectively.

We at, Funeral Times, would also like to thank FIT Social Media, who worked with us in promoting the Funeral Times Trade Show 2023 and did a tremendous job in raising the profile in the months leading up to showtime. Eimer Duffy and Helena Gilhooly were a pleasure to work with and their knowledge and experience helped attract record numbers to Leopardstown Pavilion. Thank you for your help and I wish you every future success. Graham Brown, Funeral Times Editor & Publisher

If you have any more questions, send them into Eimer and she will answer them for you, and we will publish them in our next edition. All questions submitted and published can be anonymous if you wish. You can contact Eimer by email at: eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie. 24 | FuneralTimes

IAFD News The President and Board attend 2023 Funeral Times Trade Show I

rish Association of Funeral Directors were delighted to meet members and others at their stand. The show was very well attended and it was a great opportunity to meet fellow funeral directors from across the Island of Ireland and many suppliers offering services to funeral directors. In addition to attending the show IAFD also hosted a presentation by Peninsula HR which was very well received by everyone present.

L-R: Dara Gillespie, IAFD and Richard Lynch, Obit Funeral Management Software with Tom Lawless, President

IAFD President, Tom Lawless meets Alanna Gillan from Specialist Cleaning Services, Members of Humanist Association of Ireland and the team from Little Forget Me Nots

IAFD News

L-R: Tom Lawless with Paul Reilly, IAFD; Liza Webster, Treasured Keepsakes and Ellen Walsh, Peninsula HR

Tom Lawless with Eimer Duffy, FIT Social Media and with Willie John O’Donnell, Doscard

Irish Association of Funeral Directors appoint Honorary Secretary IAFD Board are delighted to announce the appointment of Paul Reilly from Oliver Reilly Funeral Directors, Co. Kildare to the position of Honorary Secretary and wish him every success in his role.

IAFD News Presidents Lunch 2023

n September 2023 the President and Board were delighted to welcome former Presidents of Irish Association of Funeral Directors to lunch in the Keadeen Hotel, Newdridge. A thoroughly enjoyable time was had by all and it was wonderful to have the opportunity to spend time with friends and colleagues.

28 | FuneralTimes

IAFD Contacts Tom Lawless (President) Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore, Co. Offaly Ph: 057 9322622 Email: president@iafd.ie Niall Mulligan (First Vice President and Hon. Treasurer) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim, Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com Niamh Sweeney (Second Vice President and Education Officer) John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow, Co Wicklow Ph: 0402 32333 Email: education@iafd.ie Dara Gillespie (Immediate Past President) Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee, Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Paul Reilly (Hon. Secretary) Oliver Reilly Ltd Funeral Directors Leinster Street, Maynooth Ph: 045-868230 Email: info@reillysfuneralhome.ie

John Mark Griffin (Public Relations Officer) Griffin Funerals John’s Gate Pennywell Limerick Ph: 061 415000 Email: pro@iafd.ie Donal Forde Fordes Funeral Homes LTD South Gate Bridge Cork, Co. Cork Ph: 021 4318222 Email: donal@fordesfuneralhome.ie Kylie Gourley Funeral Partners Northern Ireland 300 Newtownards Road Belfast BT4 1HF Ph: 028 9045 1021 Email: kylie.gourley@funeralpartners.com Peter Maguire Massey Bros Crumlin Road, Dublin Ph: 01 4541666 Email: peter@masseybros.com Pat Smyth Smyth’s Funeral Directors Lanesboro Street, Roscommon Ph: 0906 626122 Email: info@smythsroscommom.com

Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer) Fanagans 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01 4167700 Email: membership@iafd.ie

FuneralTimes | 29

www.fearghasquinn.com

patrick@fearghasquinn.com | +44 (0)28 2582 2525

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Edwina Fitzgerald collects the latest addition to the fleet from Quinn’s. A limousine based on the Mercedes E Class

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Padraig Ward continues his fleet upgrade with an E Class limousine from Quinn’s enabling them to continue to service not only the families in Ballybay and the surrounding areas, but also their hire service throughout Monaghan, Dublin and beyond FuneralTimes | 31

VISIT US ON STAND M1

BIE News BIE News Ireland Division Hi All I hope everyone is keeping well! We had the pleasure of attending the Funeral Times Trade Show at the Pavilion Leopardstown Racecourse on Tuesday the 3rd and Wednesday the 4th of October. We wish convey a massive congratulations to Ruth and her colleagues on the incredible success of the trade show. From the array of guest speakers and exhibitors and supporters that attended over both days, it was definitely a very well organised event which was thoroughly enjoyed. It was great to see everybody and a huge thanks to all our members and students for attending. I hope you found it as informative as I did! We held our last meeting of the year on Wednesday morning the 4th at the trade show, this was a joint meeting and we had the pleasure of the Northern Ireland division alongside us. Unfortunately I could not attend on this day. But wish to thank our vice chairperson Cyril Gantley for stepping up and taking the chair and holding the meeting. The feedback I have received from the meeting has been amazing. Thank you to everyone who attended. Our next meeting will be our AGM and first meeting of 2024 which will be held on the 18th of February. The venue and details are to be confirmed. On a final note. Being the final issue of the Funeral Times magazine for 2023, I want to wish everyone a happy Christmas and a fantastic new year!

BIE Irish Chairperson Niamh Cusack 34 | FuneralTimes

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2023/2024 IRISH DIVISION Chairperson & Divisional Liaison Officer: Niamh Cusack MBIE Ballingowan West, Villierstown, Cappoquin, Co. Waterford. Tel: 086 3744762 E: cusackembalmings@gmail.com Vice Chairperson: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 kildare Road Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile 085 7671582 E.cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie Secretary & Public Relations Offcer: Jennifer Tighe MBIE St. Patrick Street, Boyle, Co. Roscommon Tel: 086 8854333 E: Jennytighe30@yahoo.com 1st National Council Rep & National Educational Rep: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582 E: cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie 2nd National Council Representative: Paul Fahy MBIE 96 Ard Alainn Ballybane Co galway Mobile 086 1775817 E.paulie_waulie@yahoo.com Treasurer and Professional Standards Rep: Susan Moran MBIE 20 Cedarwood Park Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile 086 0619500 E.susan.moran@mortuary-science.ie

NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION NI Chairwoman Mrs Nicola Taggart, MBIE 11 Alderley Crescent, Newtownabbey BT36 7WY Tel: 07917 220073 E: nikki.taggart@icloud.com

NI 1st Educational Committee Representative: Stephen Shields MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021 E: jamesbrown.belfast@funeralpartners. com NATIONAL UK DIVISION

NI Vice Chairman: David Rice MBIE

President: Richard D. Van Nes MBIE

NI Secretary: Liam Edwin Boyle, MBIE 4 Bradford Place Belfast BT8 7AW Tel: 07713 575501 E: liamboyle15@hotmail.co.uk

Imm. Past National President: Bobby Hopkins-Hoggarth MBIE

NI Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265 E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals.com NI Public Relations Offcer: Ciaran Bailie MBIE 27 Navan Court Armagh Tel. 07523 477852 ciaranbailie@googlemail.com NI Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE NI 1st National Council Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 E: oneill8210@hotmail.com NI 2nd National Council Representative: Mrs Barbara Fowley, MBIE Killakee, Rockbrook Rathfarnham, Dublin 16 Telephone: 00353 (0)86 1911022 Email: barbarafowley@yahoo.ie

1st Vice National President: Mrs Rachel Shipley MBIE 2nd Vice National President: Edward Williams-Price MBIE National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Mobile: 07786 432014 E: ngs@bioe.co.uk National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Tel: 01525 860117 E: michaelliddle914@gmail.com Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld.co.uk Master Fellow: Karen Caney FBIE Student Liaison Officer: Frank Harron MBIE

NI Professional Standards Rep: Pat Harley, MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137 E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk FuneralTimes | 35

Thanks from the Cleaner I

had an amazing time at the Funeral Times Trade Show in Leopardstown. It was my first time ever being an exhibitor and with the help of my daughter Kaela, I feel it was an all round success. I got to do what I do best… Talk!! Absolutely delighted to have met and chatted with so many people. Our little booth attracted a steady stream of visitors, giving us the opportunity to answer questions and share information with so many of you. And of course this give me the opportunity to finally put faces to names, that has meant so much to me. I feel we have made connections and friendships within the industry that will insure families get the support and help that they need. The feedback we received from those who visited our booth was overwhelmingly positive, reinforcing the value of the much needed service that we bring to the industry. It was definitely a humble yet encouraging experience. I’m looking forward to the next one! As this is the last magazine of the year I thought I’d finish up with a few thank yous. Thank you to Eimer Duffy who dragged me kicking and screaming into the world of LinkedIn, I’m still stumbling my way through the platform but releasing it is important for those business connections and helping me move forward. Thank you to Ruth McQuillan for all her hard work, for organising everything but mostly for her abundance of patience dealing with me, and constantly receiving my editorial minutes from print, she honestly needs a medal. Most importantly thank you to those of you who have recommended me to families. Thank you for passing me on to people that have needed a specialist cleaner after a death. Thank you for helping me get our service out there, and for knowing that it exists to take care of the aftermath, to make sure there is no unnecessary trauma or stress added to what can be a difficult and emotional experience for people.

36 | FuneralTimes

Thank you for taking the time to read my rumblings and dare I say it, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Folks.

Alana x

A memorable experience Michael and Danny from Morning Grave Products would like to say what an absolute delight it was to meet so many of their valued customers at the recent Funeral Times Trade Show at Leopardstown. Michael says, “Your presence at the event not only made it a memorable experience for us, but it also reaffirmed the strong bond we share. We want to express our

heartfelt gratitude for your ongoing custom and loyalty. It’s your trust in our products and services that continues to drive us forward, and we are truly appreciative

of your support. We look forward to many more fruitful collaborations in the future. Thank you!”

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www.morninggraveproducts.ie Tel: 074 9120449 FuneralTimes | 37

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Coming soon to a Church near you - funerals without a priest On Sunday October 15th, a group of 29 men and women became the first lay funeral ministers to be appointed by the Catholic Church in Northern Ireland. Traditionally funerals are led by clergy rather than lay people as the ceremony includes a Mass which can only be held by an ordained priest. But with so few young men joining the priesthood over the past decades it is becoming increasingly difficult to fill roles as priests retire. The Bishop of Derry Donal McKeown warned earlier this year that very soon it might “no longer be the norm” for everyone to have a Mass as part of their funeral and called for lay people to help a declining number of priests manage increasingly unsustainable workloads. Lay ministers cannot officiate at Masses in the absence of a priest but, in a change to tradition, they will be allowed to lead the liturgy when a coffin arrives at a church. After a memorial ceremony, they will also be able to lead prayers at a graveside or at a crematorium. The volunteers have received

both liturgical instruction and church training on how to help bereaved people cope with grief. The Diocese of Down and Connor is the first Catholic authority in Northern Ireland to implement the programme and it could be rolled out on a wider basis. Donal McKeown is currently in charge of two dioceses as Bishop of Derry and apostolic administrator of Down and Connor. In a pastoral letter in May he explained his staffing shortages, the ageing profile of his clergy and warning that in two decades, there may be only about 24 priests available for 86 parishes in Down and Connor. The diocese currently hosts 3,000 funerals and 800 weddings each year, on top of regular Masses. The BBC recently reported that there are currently 81 priests in full-time ministry in Down and Connor, 13 of whom are aged 70 and over while the Diocese of Derry has 72 full-time priests, 12 of whom are over 70. The more rural Diocese of Clogher has a much higher ratio of elderly clergy - more than half its 46 priests are 70 or over. The Irish Catholic newspaper

recently reported that 15 new seminarians entered formation this year - an early stage of studying for the priesthood. The figure is a slight increase compared to recent years, but remains low in historical terms and nowhere near enough to replace priests due to retire. Canon John McKenna, who celebrated his 88th birthday in May but still officiates at Masses every day explained that greater involvement of the laity in ceremonial duties is not only welcome but “necessary” as some priests in urban parishes could have two or three funerals a week. “A lot of preparation goes into a funeral,” he said. “It certainly would take the pressure off priests in the big towns.” His own diocese is collaborating with the Down and Connor pilot and, in November, 44 volunteers from Clogher parishes will begin training as lay funeral ministers. While figures will vary between dioceses, this trend of reducing priest numbers is true in every area of the country and funeral directors will need to work with the church to prepare families for the inevitable changes which are coming.

FuneralTimes | 41

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The problems caused by first and second degree burns By Tim Collison CFSP, MBIE

Tim is CEO and Vice President of Sales & Marketing for Dodge. He is a regular presenter at the Dodge Seminars and is a licensed funeral director and embalmer in the State of Michigan.

ll of us have experienced events early in our careers that leave a lasting impression. One of mine was coming into work early one morning at the funeral home and hearing that there had been a house fire close by, and that we probably were going to be receiving multiple bodies. The story, unfortunately, is a fairly common one in the northern part of the country in lower income neighborhoods during winter. A young family, living close to the poverty level, had been trying to supplement the substandard heat in their rented house by using an electric space heater. The heating unit was placed too close to a flammable object and during the night it had ignited and spread fire and smoke throughout the structure. Smoke was noticed by someone driving by, and the fire department arrived in time to extricate two people and save the structure. Out of five people living in the house, a mother and two daughters, one an infant, who were sleeping on the first floor were overcome by heat and smoke inhalation and died. In a fairly unusual move at the time, the medical examiner decided not to autopsy the bodies, and later that afternoon we were allowed to remove the deceased from the morgue and bring them back to the funeral home. The sight of the young mother, a four- or five-year-old girl, and a oneyear- old infant all on embalming tables, and the smell of smoke in the preparation room was sobering for the entire licensed staff. Along with one of the senior embalmers, with whom I had not worked very much, I was tasked with the preparation of the three victims.

48 | FuneralTimes

While the bodies did not exhibit any signs of having been burned, they did show some evidence of having been exposed to high heat and smoke. The backs of the mother and the older daughter were reddened and already showing some signs of skin slip. They had a reddish tint to their skin, and the skin surfaces seemed tight and dry. We assumed that the older two had been exposed to a greater degree of heat than the infant, perhaps lying in an area where the fire had been more intense. The baby who was sleeping in an adjoining room, did not exhibit the same skin changes, only the characteristic reddish tint associated with carbon monoxide poisoning. As we bathed the bodies with Germisidol soap (now Prep Soap), I was surprised by the amount of soot that was present, especially in the longer hair of the older two. The senior embalmer used the situation as a teaching experience for me. It began with the selection of the arterial solution. As I began to choose a moderate index arterial, he suggested that we use Introfiant. He said that his experience with embalming bodies subjected to heat and smoke inhalation showed that they needed to be aggressively embalmed using a concentrated solution and low volume. He said that even the infant needed to be embalmed with this solution, which I later found out was something he had learned reading an article by Don Sawyer on infant embalming. The solution that we used consisted of three bottles of Introfiant, three bottles of Metaflow*, and two bottles of Rectifiant with enough water to make a total of two gallons. I can remember

this solution to this day because at that point in my career, it was probably the most concentrated embalming solution I had ever used. I had for years heard about ‘fluid burn’ and ‘over-embalming’ from instructors and other embalmers, and I was sure I was about to see exactly what they had been talking about. The only change to the solution that we made was for the infant. The solution we used was one bottle of Introfiant, two bottles of Metaflow*, one bottle of Rectifiant, and one bottle of Restorative. To this we added enough water to make one gallon of solution. In retrospect, I would estimate that the mother was injected with an approximate total of one and a half to one and three quarters gallons of solution, the older daughter approximately one to one and a half gallons of solution, and the infant approximately three quarters of a gallon of solution. We judged the amount of solution to be injected by the fixation and tissue texture of the body during the embalming. The primary concern of the senior embalmer was that we preserve the body, but not cause any distending of the features as he said these types of bodies were prone to do. We also coated the backs, and any other areas of the body that appeared to have been subjected to high heat, with SynGel HV and covered them with plastic. The bodies were not aspirated until the next day. The next morning I was impressed by the results of the embalming. None of the deceased showed any signs of dehydration, and more importantly, had not deteriorated in any way. The tissue was firm and dry, with the skin surfaces of the face and hands showing no sign of skin slip or blistering. Some blisters had developed on the back of the mother during the night. The SynGel HV was washed off and

the back carefully dried. The blisters were lanced and then Basic Dryene packs applied to the blistered areas. These were allowed to stay in place until the body was bathed and dressed later in the day. The mother had also developed a small amount of frothy purge after the embalming had been completed, and during the aspiration I found the lungs of both the mother and older daughter to be full of liquid. After the aspiration of all three had been completed, the cavities were injected with Metafix* cavity chemical. By using what I had thought at the time to be a very strong embalming solution, I learned some valuable lessons in preparing this type of body. The individual that has been exposed to high heat, as well as super-heated smoke has intrinsic conditions that need to be addressed by the embalmer. First degree up to second degree burns may not show the damage that third degree burns will, but they do affect the tissue. The high temperature acts to accelerate the breakdown of connective tissue between the skin surface and the dermal layer causing skin slip to appear much more quickly. If the body exhibits marked redness or slight blistering, there is a possibility that the affected tissue will not allow chemical profusion due to constriction of the capillaries. These areas should always be treated externally with an embalming gel or pack to ensure thorough preservation. If the individual remains alive for a period of time after experiencing the burn and then dies, it is likely that they will have edema present. The swelling is caused not only by the body’s reaction to the burn, but also by the hydration that occurs in the hospital. This can happen within hours after the burning has occurred, and the embalmer will want to

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consider using a strong solution as well as an edema reducing chemical such as Edemaco. When smoke inhalation has occurred, it can cause some of the same embalming problems as seen in carbon monoxide poisoning. The red skin tone which is common in carbon monoxide deaths can be present; usually to a lesser extent, however enough to require careful consideration of what type of cosmetic arterial chemical or additive dye to be used in the solution. If the embalming is done soon after death has occurred, the reddish coloration is often diminished or eliminated. Very often, however, there is a delay of the body, when involved with accidental death, being released to the funeral home and the discoloration may become a stain. The skin surfaces that will be exposed during viewing are an area of concern with first degree burn victims. The skin will exhibit many of the same characteristics as severe sunburn, and should be treated carefully. Since burning by nature removes moisture from the skin, and the embalming process adds to the dehydration, moisturizing this tissue is important. An application of Kalon Massage Cream should be made to all skin surfaces that do not show signs of blistering or skin slip, and will be visible to the public. This will inhibit drying and shrinking of the tissue. If persistent wrinkling or dry areas appear, applying a pack of cotton saturated with Restorative for a few hours will rehydrate the skin, and subsequent applications of massage cream will maintain the skin condition. In

the case of second degree burns, if there is blistering or skin slip, these areas need to be treated with an external preservative. Since the preservative properties of the arterial solution don’t extend to the skin surfaces but only to the dermal layer, preservation needs to be generated from the outside in. When the skin surfaces have been preserved, they can then be dried and cosmetic and restorative procedures will more likely be successful. If the skin slip is not arrested through preservation, it will often continue to plague the cosmetologist throughout the visitation period. The situation I described at the beginning of this article was a new experience for me. I was fortunate to be working with an embalmer who understood the importance of preservation and what we were working with. The mother and infant daughter were placed in the same casket, and positioned at the front of the chapel at an angle to the child’s casket containing the older daughter, so if they had been alive they would have been able to see each other. A very large visitation, rosary, and Mass in a nearby church allowed the friends and neighbors a chance to say goodbye, console each other, and discuss how to keep this type of tragedy from being repeated. (*Author’s Note: If this was a case presented to me now, I would have used Proflow in place of Metaflow and Halt Cavity in place of Metafix, but at that time Metaflow and Metafix were the best available.)

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Dealing with death at Christmas - By Ian Fee -

Lakelands Funeral Home & Crematorium, Cavan

s I write this, a fresh carpet of autumnal leaves lies outside following a stormy night. The darkness of the long evenings hasn’t yet been broken by the festive lights of Christmas, but they’re not far away. By the time this is published, we will be in the full swing of the holiday season. Some of us will, anyway. As we know all too well, death pays no attention to calendars and as it was last year, and every year before that, this Christmas will be marked by funerals and family losses and we may find ourselves in the midst of them. The death of anyone, but especially of a loved one takes on a particular significance when it happens around Christmastime. Not that the death is of any greater meaning or sadness. It just has a character of its own that will linger and mark all subsequent Christmases. The first Christmas after a loved one’s death is difficult. The empty chair at home hits harder when it’s the empty seat at the dinner table on Christmas Day. As the world around us celebrates, we mourn and miss our loved ones deeply. Hopefully, as time goes by, we can return to the festive spirit in the years ahead and mark Christmas as the time of hope and celebration it is presented as, something that is shared by all who mark the season, regardless of

54 | FuneralTimes

how we see it and understand it. But it is also a time of heightened emotion, a nostalgic time and for many a bittersweet time of year. All of us think of childhood Christmases spent with those no longer with us and for those of us in the funeral business, our sensitivities to those who come to us during this season can go some little way to helping them through a terribly sad time. A Christmas funeral has a character unlike any other. Mourning while those around you seem to be celebrating adds to the sense of loss and confusion, especially where young children are involved. There will be so many little incidental elements to be conscious of, things that can express our sensitivity and understanding when it may be easy to come across as insensitive and detached from the emotional and cultural effect of the season. Our job may be 365, 24/7, but there are times when we need to be aware of days of particular significance, and Christmas is perhaps the most significant of all. While the New Year is the time for seeing out the old and ringing in the new with hopeful resolutions, Christmas is the time when we remember how we were and reflect on how we now are. Whatever part we play in that, may we carry out our work with kindness, thoughtfulness and good will.

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Saif News Saif News AGM / Banquet Weekend March 2024 For 2024, the SAIF AGM Banquet Weekend will be held 21st to 24th March 2024 at The Principal, York and on behalf of the National President, The National Executive Committee and the SAIF Business Centre, we cannot wait to see you.

s a taster of what to expect, the weekend commences on Thursday 21st March with a Golf Tournament at the Fulford Golf Club. At the Friday lunch there will be the opportunity for members to meet associate members as well as catching up with colleagues. This will be followed in the afternoon with an education session and then our guest speaker Paul Hopkins about his intrepid adventure taking part in the Talisker Whiskey Atlantic Challenge, which is also documented in his book ‘Flares Up’. For those attending you will be able to purchase a signed copy of the book with 50% of the proceeds going to the President’s charity ‘Honeypot’.

The Friday evening, keeping with the nautical theme we are venturing down the River Ouze (weather permitting) on The River Palace and The River Prince, where there will be a finger buffet and open bar. On the Saturday, we have the Annual General Meeting followed by lunch and then free time to explore the historic city of York. Saturday evening is the black-tie banquet, so dancing shoes at the ready for entertainment by The Rebel Sounds and for those night owls a spin on the customary supper with pizza slices and Yorkshire pudding wraps. On the Sunday morning we bade farewell to The Principal, York

56 | FuneralTimes

Focus on what you do best.

While SAIF promotes and protects your independent interests. We know how much you value your independence. The funeral industry may have changed but our passion for supporting our members has remained the same. We represent you on the issues that matter, from improving understanding of funeral pricing to influencing the legislation which affects your future. Let us take care of the big picture so you can focus locally on what you do best. For over 30 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.

Visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726777

Saif News Saif News the current National President, Mark Horton and welcome the 1st Vice President, Declan Maguire to take the reins of National President. Details on how to book this event will shortly be emailed to members, so keep checking your emails. If you are interested in attending the AGM

weekends or any other events held by SAIF and would like to become a member of the trade association that solely supports the independent funeral director then please visit https://saif.org.uk/why-join-saif/ to find out more information or call the Business Centre on 0345 230 6777.

AGM - Notice of Meeting:

The National Society of Allied & Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) The Annual General Meeting of the Society will be held at 9.30am on Saturday 23rd March 2024 at The Principal Hotel, York, YO24 1AA.

Christmas New website and members area - opening hours Over the Christmas period the SAIF Watch this space! Business Centre opening times will be: SAIF will be launching their new website as well as a new look and feel members area that will provide the usual information but also giving the member more autonomy regarding company information.

Friday 22nd December  Wednesday 27th December Thursday 28th December Friday 29th December

9.00 – 16.00  10.00 – 14.00  10.00 – 14.00  10.00 – 14.00

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From all at SAIF Business Centre we wish all our SAIF members and readers, a Merry Christmas and Happy New Y ear. 58 | FuneralTimes

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Jennifer Muldowney is an event planner for memorials in the United States of America and Ireland and is currently partnered with the prestigious Frank E. Campbell - The Funeral Chapel in NYC as their in-house event planner. Jennifer is also notable as author of Say Farewell Your Way, Tedx speaker of ‘Grief as Unique as your Heartbeat’ and host of ‘The Glam Reaper Podcast’. Check out Muldowney Memorials (.com) to learn more.

By Jennifer Muldowney

Celebrating Women in the Funeral Business: Women have been quietly but steadily making their mark We are changing the landscape of this industry. What I noticed at the Funeral Times Trade Show was that women were finally taking a seat at the funeral table so to speak. Historically, the funeral industry has been perceived as a male-dominated field, characterized by sombre and traditional customs. However, for thousands of years before the birth of the funeral business as an industry, caring for the dead was traditionally considered women’s work. They collected the corpse, washed it, rubbed it with herbs to reduce smell, dressed it, and posed it to receive mourners. In most cases, men were responsible only for constructing the coffin and digging the grave. Today, women are slowly coming back and they bring a different perspective to the current funeral space. Their natural inclination toward empathy and compassion makes them well-suited to help grieving families through one of life’s most challenging experiences. They emphasize personalized planning. They understand that each life is unique, and each farewell should be too. By offering a more tailored approach, they help families create meaningful and memorable send-offs for their loved ones. According to the National Funeral Directors

60 | FuneralTimes

Association in America, 16 per cent of its current membership is female, up from 10 per cent in 2004. In 2022, nearly 72 per cent of graduates from funeral director programs in the United States were female, according to the American Board of Funeral Service Education. This trend seemed to follow in Ireland with many many women visible at the Trade Show, daughters taking over the family businesses from their parents instead of the sons and the attendance of some of the talks being predominantly female-led. By taking a holistic approach to funerals, women are driving change and awareness on vital issues surrounding the industry. Their efforts in sustainable practices reflect a commitment to the future and the planet. Women in the funeral business balance tradition and innovation expertly. While respecting ageold customs, they’re not afraid to bring fresh ideas to the table. As the funeral industry evolves, women continue to play an essential role in shaping its future. They prove that a funeral can be a celebration of life, a reflection of individuality, and a beacon of hope, even in the darkest moments. So, let’s celebrate and empower the incredible women in the funeral business who are breaking stereotypes, bridging hearts, and leaving a lasting legacy of compassion and care.

FuneralTimes | 61

Meet the Humanist Ceremonies celebrants! The third in a series of profiles on Humanist Ceremonies trained and accredited celebrants in Northern Ireland, we meet three of the network. person who has died. His broad experience allows him to serve diverse communities, offering services that embrace various cultural, secular, and non-religious traditions. Beyond funerals, Michael is also a celebrant for humanist wedding and naming ceremonies.

surrounded by beaches and parks and loves nothing better than an outdoor ceremony. Máire lives in Belfast with her husband and a ginger longterm foster cat called Mr Tumble. She reads an awful lot, is often at the theatre and loves a good life story.

Máire De Buitléar (South Belfast)

Iain Deboys (Ballymena)

Máire spent the first half of her life so far in Dublin, the second half in Belfast. Having spent the past two decades supporting people as a counsellor specialising in bereavement and trauma, she has a deep warm empathy and a particular affinity with funerals. She now conducts all humanist ceremony types for people at times of transition and change in their lives. A nature lover, she grew up

Iain is a Board member of several local and national organisations, including Humanists UK. He has been involved in leadership of humanism in Northern Ireland for almost 30 years. His responsibilities include growing the humanist community here. He loves good conversation, meeting new people and helping others in need, so it seemed natural that, as soon

Michael Conlon (Belfast) Michael has recently returned to Belfast after spending over a decade in Dublin. Before relocating to Dublin, Michael had roles in numerous cross-community projects in Northern Ireland. In Dublin, his journey continued as he worked with young offenders and single-parent families, eventually becoming CEO for an organisation that provided social support. It was in Dublin that Michael attended his first humanist funeral, an experience he cites as the catalyst for his vocation as a humanist celebrant. He realised there was another, personal way to commemorate life. Michael is now dedicated to working alongside families, crafting ceremonies that genuinely resonate with the values and beliefs of the 62 | FuneralTimes

as he retired from the health service in 2022, he trained to become a pastoral support volunteer and a celebrant. Iain is determined to age well by keeping fit, reading and gardening as well as volunteering. He and his wife live near Ballymena.

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All our celebrants are trained and accredited by Humanists UK, have a DBS check and insurance cover. As part of our quality assurance, there is regular peer review and a transparent complaints process for families and our professional partners. Full contact details of all our celebrants can be found on the inside front cover of this magazine or you can search for someone close to you at https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/find-acelebrant/funerals/

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perfect option for families and friends reflection on the life of the deceased. ing to is now a fullyoflicensed who want a sincere, personal reflectionMichael This time is inclusive people from all ften include on the life of their loved ones – without backgrounds and people with religious ed, when those religion. This can be especially important beliefs can take this opportunity member of the British Instituteto say if they wish. if the person who died was not religious. a silent prayer, if they wish.

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Elaine Barr who is Our funeral and memorial ceremonieshis aremother conducted by humanist celebrants. Contact one of our celebrants today to find out more about saying a dignified also a fully licensed member and personal farewell. BELFAST NEWTOWNABBEY BALLYCASTLE BELFAST Michael ConlonJohn Foley Avril Hawthorne Richard Lavery 07494 505033 0794907854 11445543691407802 839543

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FuneralTimes | 63

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A big thank you from treasured keepsakes Liza of Treasured Keepsakes would like to thank everyone who took the time to come by and say hello at the recent Funeral Times Trade Show. “It was great to catch up with our existing clients. We also had the pleasure of meeting some new funeral directors and look forward to working with them in the future. I would like to thank everyone at Funeral Times for organising this event and for giving me the opportunity to exhibit” said Liza. Treasured Keepsakes have Brass Urns, Hardwood Urns, Eco Urns, Brass Keepsakes and Keepsake Pendants all in stock just waiting on your call. If you would like to use their service and enhance your business by giving the choice of a wide selection of products to your clients but at no extra cost to you please contact Liza. For more information on how Treasured Keepsakes can work along side your company contact Liza Webster on Tel: 01 8254579. From NI: 00353 1 8254579 or email:info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie or visit: www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

LIZA FROM TREASURED KEEPSAKES WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR SUPPORT THROUGHOUT 2023

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Best Wishes for 2024! 66 | FuneralTimes

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn. Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly. We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

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Grief, health and wellness in the workplace (Part 2) By Dr Bill Webster Last time, we spoke of ‘A Failure to Communicate” in terms of people grieving in the workplace. The following story will illustrate the issue.

s owner of a small printing business with 15 employees, Sean had always held the view that employees should leave their personal problems at home. For years, his company offered its workers three or four days of paid bereavement leave, believing that gave them enough time to adjust and then return to work. But when his 29 year old son took his own life, that devastating experience changed Sean’s perspective. Although he went back to work within a week, Sean struggled to concentrate. He found himself just sitting around the office for a few hours staring at walls before grudgingly going home. It was many months before he was able to focus again. When people return to work after bereavement, grief can interfere with their job productivity and performance, providing economic stress for both the employer and employee. The estimated annual productivity loss to the Canadian economy was at least $8.8 billion, and is probably much more now. In the USA in 2019 that figure was calculated at a whopping 100 billion. One can only imagine how these stats increased since COVID. While 3-4 days bereavement leave has been standard for employers to provide bereavement support to employees, more recently the emergence of employee assistance programs (EAP) has seen business invest in the well-being of their workforce. Yet in many organizations, the problem is still neglected because of a lack of understanding of normal responses to grief and loss, especially in a multi-cultural society. Of course everyone grieves differently. Some may take weeks and months to heal, and others may need years. Linda, a social worker, told me: “I needed to get back to work as soon as

70 | FuneralTimes

possible. It was a safe haven for me. I could keep busy and not be overcome by my sad thoughts every moment of every day.” But while some people deal with grief by distracting themselves with work, others often find it hard to just get through the day. Some reactions might include: • Difficulty concentrating at work and memory affected • Reduced confidence • Anxiety • Disorientation • Mood swings • Social withdrawal But the manifestations of grief and loss have collective and cumulative effects on organizations beyond the impact to individual workers, including: • Absenteeism, illness, high job turnover • Fragile and/or angry workers, emotional outbursts • Poor morale, lethargy, lack of creativity • Unpredictable results on the job • Decrease in productivity • Added employer costs: higher benefit premiums, costs of relief staff, costs of hiring and re-training • Disruption to clients and communities These albeit natural reactions to loss can have serious consequences. Work-related fatalities and injuries remain frighteningly high around the world, and it does not take much imagination to assess how the above symptoms would influence these statistics. Many grieving employees were reported making errors for at least 6 months after their bereavement, and a high percentage of employees hurt on the job reported that it was related to the effects of

their grief or loss. This is further complicated for those who do not have access to health and wellbeing resources, benefits, or for some, even basic healthcare and essential medications. An employee assistance programme can give employees access to trained counsellors to provide guidance, reassurance, and strategies to help them adjust to life as it now is. A growing number of companies also offer a Health and Wellness component, which involves employer expenditures on programs, services, activities, and equipment aimed at improving their employee behaviours and risk factors such as chronic illness, obesity, addiction, anger management, depression and stress. Sadly, however, very few such programmes include a robust strategy of support in dealing with grief and loss. Grief happens after any loss, whether a death, a sickness, the loss of a job, financial security, retirement and a host of other life losses that can occur in the context of the workplace. Paradoxically, offering employees more time to deal with grief by easing their transition into a normal work routine, or reducing their workload, allowing them to work from home, reduced or flexible schedules, could in the end actually cost organizations less. In an upcoming article, I will outline a simple

yet effective strategy of assisting employers and employees alike. A workplace where an employee’s well-being is valued is a workplace that retains its staff. You may have expressed your condolences on hearing of your employee’s loss but it is also important to regularly check in with them over the next few weeks and months. It can be simply enquiring after their well-being and letting them know that you’re there to support them. Regular check-ins will also help you spot signs of grief reactions getting out of control, such as depression, aggression, or substance abuse. If that is the case, you should get your employee the help they need. Now, when one of Sean’s employee’s family member is sick or dies, he encourages the worker to take as much time as he or she needs. “We don’t charge it against their time off,” he says. “I’m not going to add to their stress, or penalize them for things they can’t control.” By addressing the issue directly, Sean has built in mechanisms for ensuring that the work gets done while also providing employees with the time and compassion they need to heal. And that brings with it long-term benefits in the form of greater employee loyalty. Priceless!

First you hurt, then you heal

Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process . He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process. This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life. First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon.

FuneralTimes | 71

Pure Reflections and water cremation By Mattie Lennon Pure Reflections is the first facility in Ireland and in Europe to offer water cremation or resomation. All thanks to the passionate journey of its founder, Elizabeth Oakes. Her story begins with an apprenticeship in funeral directing and embalming and set her sights on broader horizons. Upon her return to Ireland, Elizabeth was determined to introduce resomation to her homeland. And now the service is available in County Meath. Resomation is a gentle, eco-friendly alternative to burial and flame cremation. This innovative process employs water and natural alkaline hydrolysis to gently bring the body back to its chemical components, leaving behind only the bones of the deceased. This process aligns with a more environmentally conscious worldview. Pure Reflections is a community of likeminded individuals who share Elizabeth’s vision. It’s a welcoming, open, and compassionate space where discussions about death and dying flow freely. It is independent of any formal religion, respecting all values and beliefs to ensure that everyone feels valued and understood. Elizabeth’s journey is making a lasting impact on Europe and beyond During the resomation process, the body is placed in an especially designed vessel filled with a solution of water and alkali. The vessel is

72 | FuneralTimes

then heated, and the combination of heat and alkalinity causes the body to be brought back to its natural components. The resulting liquid by-product is a sterile solution that contains a mixture of amino acids, sugars, and salts. It is a safe for the environment and can be safely returned to the ecosystem. After the process, the remains that the family will receive are a flourlike powder. Like cremation, they consist of granulated bones but unlike cremation, there is no coffin matter present, purely bones. The remains are then returned to those left behind in an urn of their choice. Archbishop Desmond Tutu died on Saint Stephen’s Day 2021.The international press was responding to reports that the anti-apartheid leader, Nobel laureate and Anglican archbishop emeritus who called climate change “one of the greatest moral challenges of our time” had requested water cremation. At 9 p.m. on New Year’s Day, a frantic phone call was made from BBC World News. The person at the other end was told, “We need somebody to explain what aquamation is on live TV in 30 minutes,” One year later they could simply call (01) 969 6990. Or email; info@purereflections.ie.

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Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

Northern Ireland & Stroke Northern Ireland ChestChest HeartHeart & Stroke

Help us Give the Gift of Hope this Christmas My name is Dawn Beckett, and I am a Care Services Co-ordinator at Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke. When Pauline had her stroke, I was able to support her during a very difficult and uncertain time in her life. A big part of my work is helping people whose lives have been shattered by chest, heart and stroke illnesses to pick up the pieces and get back on their feet. As part of our Family Support Service, I visit many families in vastly differing circumstances all of whom have been affected by these conditions. I often find them in a dark, lonely and frightening place. My job is to guide them through the darkness, offering whatever it is they need at that stage, whether that be emotional support or practical advice and give them hope for the future and steps to take to live life to their full potential again.

laughing with the new friends she has made. I find it really rewarding to see the progress made, and the light return to someone’s life as they unwrap each piece of the NICHS package of support.

I also provide a full assessment of the services we can offer to help each person. This support is both practical and emotional and it’s available to all. From our Post Rehab Exercise Programme to Taking Control and Self-Management courses, to our Wellness Sessions and Walking Groups, we provide a wide package of care and support services to help light peoples’ way on their journey to recovery.

If you can help me to be there for local families affected by chest, heart or stroke conditions so they can have a hopeful holiday season and brighter new year ahead, then please support our Christmas Appeal by donating at nichs.org. uk/make-a-donation

When I first met Pauline during our Family Support Visit, she was completely shell shocked from her stroke and didn’t know where to turn. Since then, it has been an honour for me to have seen her through the PREP programme and to watch her flourish now as a volunteer and

Dawn & The NICHS Team

Thanks to your support this year we have been able to pass on the Gift of Hope to so many who desperately need it. Almost 90% of our income comes from public donations, so it’s only thanks to our generous supporters the NICHS Care team can be here to pass on this priceless gift.

Thank you and Happy Christmas.

FuneralTimes | 75

NAFD News NAFD Conference and AGM 2024 heads to Windsor In 2024, NAFD Conference and Annual General Meeting heads to the historic and recently refurbished De Vere Beaumont Estate in historic Old Windsor, in Royal Berkshire, for a four-day extravaganza of discussion, education, enjoyment, and Association business. Non-members are welcome to join the event too, with the exception of the Annual General Meeting, which is a member only event. We kick off the festivities with a welcome event on Thursday 9 May, setting the

stage for an unforgettable few days. The Annual General Meeting takes place on Friday 10 May, followed by the NAFD’s Celebrating Success Awards. And then it’s time to party! After a drinks and canapes reception, we’ve created a celebration evening that’s all about drama, music, and entertainment, with a spectacular dinner and cabaret showcase. On Saturday morning, we have lined up a roster of thought-provoking and inspiring speakers on topics central to the future of funeral Barry Pritchard, NAFD president service. After lunch and an afternoon networking in the exhibition and at leisure, its’ time for the sparkling President’s Banquet – a celebration of the presidential year of Barry Pritchard with all the NAFD customs and traditions – and some surprises in store. On Sunday morning, it’s time for the traditional passing of the presidential chain from one president to the next, as we welcome the NAFD president and officers for 2024-25. Booking is now open at the NAFD website in the events section.

76 | FuneralTimes

NAFD Member Benefits

Category A *YRIVEP ½VQW MR England, Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland, the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands Category B 9/ 7YTTPMIV * &IRI½XW JSV Category A members only

Business Advice & Support

Financial

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • •

Client Will search facility * Repatriation Helpline * -RXIV¾SVE QIQFIVWLMT TEGOEKI * Stationery solutions NAFD Energy Club NAFD Telecoms NAFD Legal Advisory Service Counselling helpline for staff/family Property Planning Advice Health & Safety advice PR Handbook and PR Helpline Merchant card services NAFD Fast Track Debt Recovery Service

Knowledge Sharing • • • •

Networking opportunities through Area Federation and Local Association meetings Conference and Autumn General Meeting Member website Attendance at National Funeral Exhibition (discount on stand space if exhibiting)

Fleet breakdown cover * Fleet insurance * Perfect Choice Funeral Plans * £5m professional indemnity insurance * £150k employment claims insurance £150k H&S prosecution insurance £150k HMRC & VAT investigation insurance Personal/commercial insurance discounts Royal Mail Same Day Service

Communication/Representation • • • • • • •

Parliamentary campaigning Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly Monthly e-newsletter NAFD social media Regular e-communication updates on important issues affecting your business

Professional Credibility

Professional Development

•

• •

• • •

Code of Practice and client dispute resolution service, NAFD Resolve * Listing on funeral-directory.co.uk * Listing on supplier member search on NAFD website Use of logos and marketing collateral

2%*( UYEPM½GEXMSRW Election to NAFD boards/committees

General •

Volvo schemes offering preferential rates *

•

Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly

•

Use of NAFD overseas member logo

•

Invitation to attend the NAFD Conference and Annual General Meeting.

Category C Benefits • • Category C Overseas

• •

Discount on stand space if exhibiting at the biennial National Funeral Exhibition A listing in the overseas member search on the Association’s website Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly

For more information on any of these benefits you receive as a member of the NAFD, please call: 0121 711 1343 or email: su@nafd.org.uk P Na N tional al As Asso sociat soc iation iat ion off Fu Funer neral ner al Dir Direct ecttors @NA AFD F _UK K @NA @NAFDU @NAFDU FD K /"'% JT BO BQQPJOUFE SFQSFTFOUBUJWF PG 4&*# *OTVSBODF #SPLFST XIJDI JT BVUIPSJTFE BOE SFHVMBUFE CZ UIF 'JOBODJBM $POEVDU "VUIPSJUZ

NAFD graduating students invited to a very special Celebration of Success Awards

s part of the NAFD’s AGM & Conference in May 2024, the NAFD has invited graduating students to be centre stage with the 2024 Celebrating Success Awards taking place on the afternoon of Friday 10 May at the Conference venue, the De Vere Beaumont Estate in Windsor, where students will receive their Arranging & Administration Certificates or Funeral Directing Diplomas in front of family, friends and colleagues. Students and their guests can now book online at the NAFD Education website.

Scottish Government attends NAFD Scotland members’ meeting NAFD Scotland welcomed Scottish Government officials to its members’ meeting in October to discuss the future landscape and the current consultations on regulation. 78 | FuneralTimes

Three members of the Burial and Cremation team gave a short presentation and then spent over half an hour answering questions from members, discussing important points in relation

to inspections, licensing, and the introduction of alkaline hydrolysis. The meeting, held in Scotland President Mark Shaw’s hometown of Aberdeen, as well as on

Microsoft Teams, was also attended by Barry Pritchard, NAFD National President 2023-24. Members heard from Nicola Reed, from Cruse Scotland, about work being

carried out by the charity on the effect on bereaved people of funeral rituals and the emergence of direct and non-attended funerals. This also sparked a popular

question and answer session, and Mark Shaw thanked everyone who attended for their time and input.

Well-attended Northern Ireland members covers a wide range of issues of concern N

AFD members met at the end of September to discuss some of the key issues in Northern Ireland. The meeting, which was attended

by NAFD National President Barry Pritchard, and chaired by Stephen Larkin, NAFD Northern Ireland President, covered a wide range of issues

including the online transfer of funeral-related forms, eligibility for Covid vaccinations, death verification, and delays occurring in the Coronial system.

FuneralTimes | 79

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