Funeral Times issue 3 2021 by Inhouse

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

2021 Vol.21 No.3

Glasnevin Trust has officially rebranded as Dublin Cemeteries Trust.

Ensuring dignity of the deceased and respect for the bereaved.

For more information on our Funeral Services visit: DublinCemeteriesTrust.ie

Non-religious funeral and memorial ceremonies Meaningful and bespoke ceremonies Humanist funerals and memorials are non-religious ceremonies that focus on the person who has died, the life they led, and the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique.

Each funeral and memorial ceremony is tailored to the person who has died, and the wishes of the people who love them. We can help commemorate the person who has died with an upbeat celebration of life, instead of taking a more solemn tone.

A humanist funeral or memorial is the perfect option for families and friends who want a sincere, personal reflection on the life of their loved ones – without religion. This can be especially important if the person who died was not religious.

A funeral can include time for silent reflection on the life of the deceased. This time is inclusive of people from all backgrounds and people with religious beliefs can take this opportunity to say a silent prayer, if they wish.

Find your local celebrant Our funeral and memorial ceremonies are conducted by humanist celebrants. Contact one of our celebrants today to find out more about saying a dignified and personal farewell. BALLYCASTLE John Foley 07949 114455

BELFAST Richard Lavery 07802 839543

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BALLYMENA Lisa Wilkinson 07759 514139

BELFAST Maire De Buitlear 07841 860276

BELFAST Michael Conlon 07494 505033

NEWTOWNABBEY Stewart Holden 07971 634098

BANBRIDGE Joan Davis 07546 954222

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DERRY Julie Hassell 07510 851612

NORTH DOWN Trevor Molloy 07549 946622

BANGOR Michael McAlinden 07305 892201

BELFAST Rachel Smith 07957 474643

DROMORE Sheena Bradley 07732 143183

humanists.uk/ ceremonies

Humanist Ceremonies™ is part of Humanists UK, a registered charity in England and Wales (no. 285987) and company limited by guarantee (no. 228781) info@humanists.uk

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

James Falconer plan first crematorium for South East Page 4

Contents

Kylie Gourley joins IAFD Board Page 20

James Falconer plan first crematorium for South East.......................................... 4 Eimer Duffy on The importance of being online.....................................................8 Grey’s Funeral Home bring Darkness into light.........................................................12 Online tributes surge raises thousands for charity.................................................15 Quinn announces new Volkswagen hearse................................................................17 IAFD News............................................................................................................................... 20 IAFD New board appointment...................................................................................... 20 BIE News....................................................................................................................................24 Daniel O’Donnell pays tribute......................................................................................... 32 NAFD News..............................................................................................................................44 SAIF News.................................................................................................................................58 Write it down, says Jennifer Muldowney...................................................................63 Sue Anne O’Donnell on the living funeral.................................................................66 A Lonely Kind of Grief by Dr. Bill Webster................................................................69 Mattie Lennon tells us about Grave Robbing, Digging and DIY Coffins......72 Classifieds................................................................................................................................ 80

Daniel O’Donnell pays tribute Page 32

EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING CONTACTS: Graham Brown, Ruth McQuillan, Vikki Crangle, Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF E: sales@funeraltimes.com

Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused. FuneralTimes | 3

James Falconer Undertakers bringing the South East’s first crematorium James Falconer Undertakers was founded In 1928. Its origins begin with James Falconer Senior (1910-1981) RIP who purchased their first car, a 12 seater open Charabanc, and by 1936, having firmly established a limousine service, James set up Falconers Funeral Directors. A family business with a proud tradition, Falconers now look set to deliver the South East of Ireland its first crematorium. In 1981, after the death of his father, James Junior took over the running of the business, the second generation to do so, and to this day takes great pride in carrying out funeral services. The staff are conscious that it is a great honour to be entrusted with the final arrangements of a loved one, approaching each task with absolute care and sincerity. Falconer Funeral Home’s building represents a

substantial investment in Tramore, Waterford and County, designed to be as respectful and comfortable as possible and proudly caters for all denominations. Featured in the grounds is a replica of an eight foot Dolmen, unique to Ireland, built to symbolize the ancient Irish respect for the departed and belief in the afterlife.

Ancient Irish Dolmen

Falconers Funeral Home

As far back as 2013 the funeral home has offered a free livestreaming service, which for the first time, allowed hospitalised and homebound people, emigrants and relatives throughout the world, to view live the ceremony on their chosen devices. This became a key service during the COVID pandemic. Relatives and friends of the bereaved are also afforded the facility to leave a condolence message on Falconers website. Perhaps the most important news is the planning permission Falconers have had approved for Tramore, Waterford to bring the South East’s first crematorium with building

works intended to commence as soon as possible under current circumstances. The crematorium will provide its services next to the funeral home for comfort and easiness for mourning families. Watch this space... If you would like to contact Erich Falconer, General Manager, please telephone 086 8475296 or contact the team on 051 355872 or Email: info@falconersundertakers.com

FuneralTimes | 5

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Eimer Duffy is a Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media. She provides customised social media solutions for businesses which require an emotional and compassionate tone of voice to their online presence helping them to gain more visibility, get noticed and build trust online. She co-hosts the only social media for business radio show in Ireland called “The Let’s Get Social Show” every Friday at 2pm on Dublin South FM.

The importance of being online A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mary Cunniffe, former President of The Irish Association of Funeral Directors and Branch Manager of Massey Brothers Funeral Directors with Colm Kieran who is Funeral Care and Communications Consultant at Funeral Director Solutions, Ireland’s specialist web design and digital marketing service for Funeral Directors. He is also General Manager at Kieran Brothers Funeral Care and has been Public Relations Officer for The Irish Association of Funeral Directors. During the interview we discussed how the Funeral Industry has made strides with being online and how it has embraced the importance of being online with things such as having a well-designed website and active social channels.

rom the conversation we had on the show, it got me thinking about a friend of mine who in the last year, lost both her parents and her favourite aunt. She hadn’t organised a funeral before and wasn’t sure about what the funeral process was and which provider to choose. She told me her first port of call was on Google as she did not live in the area where her parents and aunt lived. From Google, she had to go onto Google Maps to gain an understanding of who was out there and then check out each of the funeral directors listing on Google. From there, she explored their websites, social media and looked up their reviews and then she made her decision. I thought back to when my Grandmother died back in the ‘90s and we all lived nearby and the process of organising her funeral was more straightforward, as we had friends and neighbours to advise on this and the Golden/ Yellow Pages to acquire contact information. Times have certainly changed and more and more people are living further away, and so now rely on using Google to do their research. Also, using social media to stay connected locally and with family and friends. And this has become invaluable; especially if there is a death, and 8 | FuneralTimes

people are using social media more and more to announce to their family and friends, this then leads people to check out further information via death notices online. As you know Covid19 has taught us quite a lot. We have all had to go online for things we wouldn’t normally have had to consider. This is why it is so imperative to be online as a business these days; by having a Google listing, a website and the right social media channels all fully up to date and presentable. Your online presence is just as important as your physical day to day presence. Being able to manage this and finding the time can seem daunting, but it can be done with the right processes and plans. So what do you really need when it comes to being online? When it comes to being on the right platforms, Google is number one, so it is necessary to be listed via Google My Business. This is a free tool that allows you to promote your business profile on Google Search and Maps. With your Google listing, you will raise your profile locally, connect with your customers, can post updates and see how customers are interacting with your business on Google with things such as leaving reviews. The next thing to have is a fully SEO’d and

mobile responsive website with eCommerce functionality. This is your shop window and where people need to be able to find out more about you and your business, what you offer, how to contact you and how you can assist them. Having a good customer experience of your website and being able to navigate it easily will encourage people to stay on your website longer and help them to decide their next step. From there, being on the right social media channels, with fully completed channels (first impressions last), which your audience and customers are on; such as Facebook, Instagram and LInkedIn is vital. Social media is 24/7 and being contactable via social media messaging is just one aspect. People will search on these social channels also for information and look at your content. When it comes to content, things such as crafting the right tone of voice, empathetic content (such as blogs, images, video etc) which are in keeping with the respectful nature of your business and posting consistently are so important, and this is where a content calendar is key. And, as it’s social media, being sociable with your audience will help them to get to know, like and trust your business. One other aspect of social media which has

come to the forefront, is live streaming of funerals, especially on Facebook and Instagram. This has become a lifeline for people who are living abroad and can’t make the funeral service or cemetery, and so this enables them to attend online via these platforms to pay their respects to loved ones, family and friends. Being able to tune into a Facebook or Instagram LIVE brings them comfort. All in all, going forward, it is necessary to be online. This will open up your business to be seen as even more approachable, allowing you to showcase your business and services, engage and be social with your customers in an empathetic light. Helping you gain further visibility, credibility and build trust with customers locally and worldwide. To hear the interview with Mary Cunniffe and Colm Kieran you can catch it now on podcast on “The Let’s Get Social Show” Episode 72 on Podbean, iTunes, Spotify and The Dublin South FM podcast page. Eimer Duffy, FIT Social Media Website: www.fitsocialmedia.ie Phone: 00353 (86) 8492032 Email: eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie

urious on how you can make social media work more effectively for you? Eimer Duffy has all the latest news, tips and advice when it comes to social media and being online. So if you have any questions you would like help with, why not send them into Eimer and she will answer them for you, and we will publish them in our next edition. All questions submitted and published can be anonymous if you wish. You can email Eimer at eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie. FuneralTimes | 9

Advertorial

What should I post on our Funeral Business Facebook Page?

he last 18 months have seen a massive increase in the number of funeral directors who have set up their own company Facebook accounts. Funeral directors are Áine Gogarty recognising that their Client Manager relevant audience has flocked to Facebook in their droves. There is a fear among Funeral Directors that posting funeral notices might be seen as disrespectful, or that the public may leave negative comments. However, this is not the case, with families actually welcoming the comments of sympathy that they receive from these posts. Many Funeral Directors have taken to publishing funeral notices, order of service books and live streaming funeral services through Facebook Live with great success. Those Funeral Directors who have engaged with their communities on social media have seen the audience that they serve connecting with their pages on an increased basis. The challenge now for many is how to create and publish regular content on these pages which breaks the list of continuous funeral notices, obituaries and funeral videos that appear on their Facebook accounts. There is a strong desire among communities to learn more about the changing landscape of funerals in 2021 and how they can continue to support bereaved families. Here is an example of a recent Facebook post which is aimed at letting the general public know what happens to the condolences message that they post online.

Call 042 9667309 email info@funeraldirectorsolutions.ie www.funeraldirectorsolutions.ie 10 | FuneralTimes

This Facebook post was read by over 2500 people within 24 hours of when it was published. This was due to the fact that the content/topic was of importance to the reader and was prepared with a strong image and clear heading and text. HERE ARE OUR TOP TOOLS AND TIPS WHEN PUBLISHING FUNERAL NOTICES • Always include a photo - if not of the deceased person, then a stock photo of a flower or candle • Use photo editing software like Canva. com to “frame” photos of the deceased person – this reduces the size of the image and softens the impact of the photos when displayed on social media • Avoid posting external links to funeral notices from either your own website or other websites – Facebook does not want their users moving away from Facebook so their algorithms ensure that your page followers do not see these types of posts as often. For more information and advice, join our private Facebook Group – Irish Funeral Directors Online Scan with your phone

Grey’s Funeral Home “Darkness into light 2021” T

he covid restrictions and overcoming them have taken up so much of our time, learning to cope with new regulations each day and trying to offer the same service to our families has become a daily struggle, which we have learnt to cope with and shine, turning each funeral into a personal experience while observing changing government recommendations and advice. Every family desire something different to make their experience personal and no two people deal with death the same, we observe and listen and try to provide the service as best we can, while dealing with the limitations imposed by our state. Most of us have risen to the new challenges and found ways to improve our services, offer more to families despite this taking extra time, using our facilities to improve the service given and helping to make the journey a little easier, getting the

12 | FuneralTimes

bereaved where they need to be and the deceased where they should be. Our latest project here in Grey’s funeral home was the darkness into light, using the extensive car park we have, with over 100 car parking spaces and turning it into an area used by local people to gather in safe numbers, light a candle for their loved ones and continue on their darkness into light run or walk. This proved a massive success, with over 2,500 candles lit and photos and check in’s reaching a big social media audience and also attracting local radio interviews and national press coverage. Our display of candles in the yard in the words “Darkness into light” and another display in front of our tree of hope, reached national tv coverage. This has filled us with great pride at Grey’s Funeral home because our aim at all times is to be dedicated to those we are privileged to serve.

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Funeral Partners supports families and communities across Northern Ireland as lockdown restrictions ease

Liz Doherty potting sunflowers for school pupils

uneral Partners is interested in further expansion in Northern Ireland and would be happy to have an informal and confidential chat with any Funeral Directors who are considering selling their businesses. Contact Chief Executive Officer Sam Kershaw, directly on 07834 531822 or email: sam.kershaw@ funeralpartners.co.uk or Acquisition & Mergers Director Steve Wilkinson on 07528 970 531 or email: steve.wilkinson@funeralpartners.co.uk www.funeralpartnersnorthernireland.com

14 | FuneralTimes

uneral Partners is supporting its funeral homes in Northern Ireland to re-engage with local organisations and communities as lockdown restrictions continue to ease across the country. The funeral teams have assisted fundraising for good causes and found creative ways to bring comfort to families during the pandemic. Schoolchildren from Belfast learned about the cycle of life and the importance of nature after Liz Doherty, Funeral Arranger at James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors, donated beautiful plants for them to care for to mark World Environment Day. Liz sent 31 sunflowers for Year 6 pupils from Donegall Road Primary School to nurture over the summer, helping them understand the importance of nature for World Environment Day. She said: “As a funeral arranger and wildlife enthusiast, I think nature shows just how beautiful and precious life is. I hope the children can also see this after caring for their own sunflowers and watching each stage of their growth over the coming weeks.” Liz contacted Donegall Road Primary with her idea and immediately received interest from Miss Williams, whose Year 6 class happened to be studying the environment. Liz had previously supported school pupils by sending sunflower seeds along with pots and compost. However, this time she germinated the seedlings herself to help Donegall Road Primary witness their full life cycles. She said: “I began growing the sunflowers on my kitchen worktop but at first none grew. So I tried again and all 31 sprouted at the same time, ready for the children to take over. “It was brilliant to see the sunflowers start off so well, and I hope the children will enjoy taking it from here.” Liz and Mrs Johnston, Principal of Donegall Road Primary, plan to create a brighter seating space in the grounds of the school by populating it with more plants grown by pupils with the help of James Brown & Sons.

Funeral Arranger Barbara Wilson (third from right) with the rest of the John Gray & Co Funeral Directors team

Online tributes surge sees funerals raise thousands for charity

n North Down, John Gray & Co Funeral Directors helped local families raise over £56,000 in memory of their loved ones during the Covid-19 pandemic thanks to a surge in online donations. The John Gray & Co funeral homes in Bangor, Holywood and Newtownards have created more than 134 virtual tribute pages on behalf of families through MuchLoved, the online tribute platform, since their partnership with the charity began in July 2020. Barbara Wilson, Funeral Arranger at John Gray & Co, said: “MuchLoved gives families the option to have us facilitate online donations to a charity of their choosing, often in lieu of traditional gifts like flowers from friends and relatives. Friends and family can also post the funeral notice, photos, videos and messages to their loved one’s tribute page no matter where they are in the world, which has helped people come together and mourn during this terrible pandemic.” John Gray & Co was inspired to offer the MuchLoved service to families when the Covid-19 outbreak made traditional methods of contacting families, as well as cash donations, difficult to process. Barbara said: “We used to send donated cheques and gifts to charities by post, but this

became difficult to do as the mail faced logistical problems and social distancing restrictions came into place.” John Gray & Co has so far helped families raise over £8,300 for the Alzheimer’s Society, £6,800 for Marie Curie, £6,200 for Cancer Research UK and £4,300 for Macmillan Cancer Support, as well as donations for 33 other charities. Bairds of Antrim Funeral Directors has helped their clients raise more than £51,000 through MuchLoved tributes, while Mulhollands Funeral Directors in Carrickfergus and Larne has helped raise over £46,000. Collectively, Funeral Partners funeral directors across Northern Ireland have already helped families raise over £200,000 in online donations through MuchLoved, with a range of charities and good causes receiving the much-needed support. Richard Baker, Funeral Partnerships Manager at MuchLoved, said: “MuchLoved are delighted to be working with John Gray & Co, and the rest of the dedicated Funeral Partners teams in Northern Ireland, providing a service that not only has benefited the aforementioned charities but also has given a valuable bereavement service to families by way of a place to share funeral information and messages on the online tribute page.” FuneralTimes | 15

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Exciting Announcement Quinn Hearse and Limousine are delighted to announce that we will be launching a new range of hearses and limousines in 2021. Based on the Volkswagen Passat, these will be a unique offering into the UK and Irish funeral sector.

he range will be available in 3 Door, 5 Door and Limousine versions with petrol, diesel, hybrid and 4x4 options too. This is the first time there has been such an affordable array of choices for funeral directors in the British Isles and we’re proud of the work that has gone into providing the opportunity for the industry. Why a Volkswagen Hearse? In late 2020 we realised there was a need in the UK and Irish funeral sector for a reliable, affordable selection of vehicles. We spent a number of months, zoom calls and cups of coffee researching car markets for the best fit for our project. While a few options stood out, we eventually settled on the Volkswagen Passat. It was for several reasons. Not only is it an affordable vehicle to purchase, but it’s also easy to run, easy to maintain and comes with a reputation for reliability. It also has a design which lends itself well to extending the chassis, making a stylish hearse or limousine easy. The design Using state-of-the-art CAD and CAM we have developed a vehicle and a build process which

makes this one of our most forward-thinking vehicles yet. Complete with new tooling and cutting edge composite technology, the Passat range is at the forefront of advanced manufacturing. The 3 Door Available to order now is the first instalment of the series. Designed with rural funeral services in mind, this vehicle is perfectly suited for tough winding roads that can be difficult for bigger vehicles. An agile, versatile, and practical hearse, the 3 Door Passat is perfect for rural undertakers throughout the British Isles. Keeping that signature Quinn look and feel, we are proud to have blended the traditional with the innovative to provide this stunning new hearse to the market. What’s next? Over the coming months we will reveal the Limousine and 5 Door versions which will be an incredibly affordable fleet option. Exciting times lie ahead at Quinn’s and stay tuned to our social media pages and website while we keep you updated with everything coming up. FuneralTimes | 17

Have you experienced difficulty contacting next of kin?

taff at Finders International Probate Genealogists locate Deceased’s next of kin on behalf of Funeral Directors, Hospitals, Councils, Nursing Homes and Solicitors. Staff at our Dublin office were contacted recently by a Social Worker from a regional hospital. One of their patients was critically ill and the Social Worker needed to contact the patient’s next of kin to inform them of his condition. The information on their file had been provided by the nursing home where the patient had been a resident for a number of years. The information for next of kin was a name, partial address and landline number. It was believed that the next of kin was the patient’s sister, however, no relatives had been in contact with the hospital during his time there. Attempts to contact the patient’s sister were unsuccessful, as the phone number was no longer in service. The address on file was for an area in County Dublin and no house number or street name were recorded. Shortly after we received information about the patient, he sadly passed away. It was now necessary to locate his next of kin in order to organise his funeral and burial. Research commenced and we identified a birth

certificate for the Deceased. It was discovered that he had a brother who had died tragically a number of years ago. A birth certificate was found for his sister and searches were carried out to locate her. Research was also undertaken to identify death certificates for the Deceased’s parents. One of our Representatives called to the last known address for the Deceased’s parents and made enquiries with families living in the area. His enquiries resulted in him making contact with a cousin of the Deceased. He discovered that the Deceased’s sister had emigrated to Canada and died a few years ago. Her children still lived in Canada and contact details were provided for one of her sons. Contact was made with him to inform him of his uncles passing. Research carried out also located the cemetery where the Deceased’s brother and parents are buried. The Social Worker was provided with a report of our findings which included contact details for the Deceased’s next of kin in Canada, his cousin in Ireland and the location of the Deceased’s brother and parents graves. We would be delighted to discuss our services or answer any queries. Please contact us by phone (01) 5676940 or email on contact@findersinternational.ie if you need our assistance, or if you would like to know more about our services.

HAVE YOU BEEN ASKED TO ARRANGE A FUNERAL WHERE SOMEONE HAS DIED WITH NO KNOWN NEXT OF KIN?

18 | FuneralTimes

Thinking of selling your business? You’ll be in safe hands

Over 100 family businesses and growing Be part of our story Selling is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make for your business. You’ve worked for years to build your business, so we understand there is a lot to consider, let us assure you, you will be in safe hands.

“I feel it’s a very positive step because Funeral Partners share our core values, they understand that the families we work with are the foundation of all funeral businesses.” Jon Baird, Bairds of Antrim Funeral Directors

Your reputation is our reputation Funeral Partners is interested in further expansion in Northern Ireland and would be happy to have an informal and confidential chat with any Funeral Directors who are considering selling their business. Contact Chief Executive Officer Sam Kershaw, directly on 07834 531822 or email: sam.kershaw@funeralpartners.co.uk or Acquisition & Mergers Director Steve Wilkinson on 07528 970 531 or email: steve.wilkinson@funeralpartners.co.uk

IAFD News New Board Appointment

T Member’s Survey

uring February 2021 we conducted a survey of our members. We were pleased to receive a response from at least half of our Members and the feedback we received about the Irish Association of Funeral Directors was very positive. The key findings of this survey will be used to drive change across the Association.

he President and Board are pleased to announce the appointment of Kylie Gourley from Funeral Partners Northern Ireland to the Board and look forward to working with her. Kylie is the Operations Manager for FPNI and her appointment will ensure our Northern Ireland Members have a voice on the Board.

Kylie Gourley

IAFD in the media O

Mary Cunniffe

ur Public Relations Officer, Mary Cunniffe has participated in numerous media interviews over the last number of months. Recently Mary and fellow Member, Colm Kieran participated in a ground breaking interview with Business Radio “Lets Get Social Show “ with Phillip Twyard & Eimer Duffy. If you would like to listen to the interview you can find it at: https://letsgetsocialshow.podbean.com/e/ episode-72-how-the-funeral-industry-is-using-socialmedia-effectively

NATIONAL SUICIDE BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT GUIDE

The launch of the National Suicide Bereavement Support Guide took place online: national-suicide-bereavement-support-guide.pdf (hse.ie). Physical copies of the guide will be available to order and download from the Health Promotion website. 20 | FuneralTimes

IAFD Contacts Donal Forde (President) Forde & Sons Funeral Home South Gate Bridge Cork Co. Cork Ph: 021 4318222 Email: fordes@indigo.ie Dara Gillespie (First Vice President) Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Robert Fanagan (Immediate Past President) Fanagans Willbrook Street, Rathfarnham, Dublin 14 Ph: 01 4931000 Email: robert@fanagans.ie Niall Mulligan (Hon. Treasurer) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com Mary Cunniffe (PRO) Massey Bros Funeral Home Templeogue Village Dublin 6W Mobile: 085 8010742 Ph: 01 4907601 Email: mary.cunniffe@hotmail.com

Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer) Fanagans 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01 4167700 Email: fintanjen@gmail.com Niamh Sweeney (Education Officer) John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow Co Wicklow Ph: 0402 32333 Email: niamh@johnsweeneyandsons.ie Dermot McCarthy McCarthy’s Funeral Home Gurrane, Banteer, Cork. Ph: 029 56044 Email: dermot@mccarthyfuneraldirectors. com Edwina Fitzgerald Fitzgeralds Funeral Directors Channel Road Rush Co. Dublin Ph: 087 3512949 Email: edwinafitzgerald78@gmail.com Keith Greaney Conneely Funeral Directors Flood Street Galway 091562866 keithgreaney@gmail.com Tom Lawless Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore Co. Offaly Ph: 057 9322622 Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie FuneralTimes | 21

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BIE News BIE News Ireland Division Hi All, I hope everyone is still surviving through this pandemic and looking forward to the brighter days ahead, with the restrictions starting to ease and finally getting to see our family and friends again. This is such an important time for us all to tread carefully and not lose focus on the importance of treating every case as an infectious case as people may start to relax with numbers decreasing. I know I mentioned our last meeting in the last chairpersons letter but I don’t think I gave it enough credit! Mr. Gordon Findlater gave an amazing and intriguing presentation for our members with an added extra at the end with “useless but interesting anatomy facts”. I think it is safe to say everyone who attended really enjoyed it. A huge thanks again to Gordon for making the time out of his busy schedule and to our members who attended. Our next meeting is on the 25th July via Zoom and we have another exciting guest speaker lined up which I think everyone will enjoy. So once again I would really encourage all our members to attend as I can guarantee you won’t regret it! On a final note, we will hopefully have a face to face meeting soon but at the minute we need things to get a little better so for now it’s Zoom but we will stay positive and enjoy our meetings from the comfort of our homes. Stay safe everyone. BIE Irish Chairperson

Niamh Cusack

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2021 IRISH DIVISION Chairperson: Niamh Cusack MBIE Ballingowan West, Villierstown, Cappoquin, Co. Waterford. Tel: 086 3744762 E: cusackembalmings@gmail.com 2nd Vice Chairperson: Robert Fehily MBIE Strand Road, Carrigaline, Co. Cork Tel: 087 660919 E: robertfehily@gmail.com 24 | FuneralTimes

Secretary: Jennifer Tighe MBIE St. Patrick Street, Boyle, Co. Roscommon Tel: 086 8854333 E: Jennytighe30@yahoo.com National Council Rep 1: Pamela Murphy MBIE 14 Parknasillogue Court, Enniskerry, Co. Wicklow Mobile: 085 7415421 National Council Rep 2 & Divisional Liaison:: Barbara Fowley Cruagh Lane Killakee

Rathfarnham, Dublin 16 Mobile: 086 1911022 E: Barbarafowley@yahoo.ie Treasurer: John Hawe MBIE 12 Meadow Vale, Smith’s Road, Charleville, Co. Cork Mobile: 087 6390087 E: jmhawe@eircom.net Public Relations Offcer: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582 E: cyril.gantley@mortuaryscience.ie

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2021 Professional Standards Rep: Susan Moran 20 Cedarwood Park, Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile: 086 0619500 E: susan.moran@mortuaryscience.ie National Education Rep: Ann Shepherd Lisameen,Ballinalee Longford, Co longford Mobile:086 2784244 E: annshepherdbie@gmail.com NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION Chairman Pat Harley, MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137 E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk Vice Chairman: Mrs N Taggart, MBIE 11 Alderley Crescent, Newtownabbey BT36 7WY Tel: 07917 220073 E: nikkiknockaning@aol.com 1st National Council Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 E: oneill8210@hotmail.com

2nd National Council Representative: Ellison Sloan MBIE Tel: 028 3833 6175 Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265 E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals. com Secretary: Liam Edwin Boyle, MBIE 4 Bradford Place Belfast BT8 7AW Tel: 07713 575501 E: liamboyle15@hotmail.co.uk Public Relations Offcer: Ciaran Bailie Tel. 07523 477852 27 Navan Court Armagh 1st Educational Committee Representative: Stephen Shields MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021 E: jamesbrown.belfast@ funeralpartners.com Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE

National President: Bobby Hopkin-Hoggarth MBIE Imm. Past President: Dr Phil Gore MBIE 1st Vice President: Dianne Hughes National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Tel: 01332 349035(BIE) Mobile: 07786 432014 E: karencaney@btopenworld.com National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Business Tel: 01582 490005 Home Tel: 01525 860117 E: michael@silsloe.wanadoo. co.uk Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld.co.uk Master Fellow: David Kaye FBIE Student Liaison Officer: David Coster MBIE

BIE News BIE News FuneralTimes | 25

The End of an Era

Ford will cease production of the iconic Mondeo in 2022.

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To discover the full benefits, pricing options or arrange a demonstration please contact your Coleman Milne area sales manager: T: +44 (0)1942 815600 E: info@coleman-milne.co.uk

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Despite several postponements last year we are delighted to announce a new date for our Slieve Donard Challenge, it will now take place on SUNDAY 8th August 2021. Places will be held for those who had previously registered and we have opened up the event for new registrations, please visit https://www.tickettailor.com/ events/tinylife

Slieve Donard is the highest peak in the Mournes (some 850 metres). It offers some fantastic views in reward for walking to the summit. Gaze south over the Carlingford Mountains and beyond Dundalk Bay towards the Wicklow Mountains on the southern horizon. The Isle of Man and a glimpse of Scotland can be seen eastwards with Belfast City easily visible to the north. This guided challenge will be led by expert mountain leaders ‘Life Adventure’. Registration is £20 and each participant is asked to raise a minimum of £60 sponsorship. The challenge will take approx 5 hours to complete. Participants must be 12 years + (under 16s must be accompanied by an adult). FuneralTimes | 29

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Gordon and Regina Clarke collect their new E Class hearse from Quinn Hearse and Limousine.

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Edward J. Grey The 5th

Checking out the workings and going on’s in Grey’s Funeral Home, Templemore. Pictured with his very proud Dad in the lobby of Grey’s by his, even more proud, Mam Louise. Padraics Civil Advert July 2020.qxp_Layout 1 17/07/2020 13:50 Page 1

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FuneralTimes | 31

Daniel O’Donnell pays personal tribute at funeral of fan Margaret I t is not unusual for families to request that a loved one’s hobbies and interests are recognised in their funeral service. Manchester United or Celtic floral arrangements might be displayed or their local football team might provide a guard of honour. But it is rare indeed that a major celebrity offers to play an important role in the final farewell of a fan. When Bandon funeral director Robert Gabriel was asked to arrange the funeral of local lady Margaret McCarthy, the family told him of her fondness for

32 | FuneralTimes

Daniel O’Donnell and requested a recording of ‘Beyond the Rainbow’s End’ to be played as they gathered to pay their last respects. Margaret had met her musical hero on a number of occasions when her and husband Jimmy had attended concerts regularly over 30 years. Daniel heard of her passing, and in keeping with his reputation for treating fans as friends, he had both posted a condolence on RIP.ie and phoned Margaret’s daughter Catherine to personally extend his sympathy. Indeed the star

followed the service online and when he heard his name referenced on a number of occasions, including a joke about him being the third person in the marriage, he decided to take a larger part in proceedings. Robert doesn’t usually answer his telephone during a service, but this time he was glad that he did, as Daniel O’Donnell was personally calling to offer to sing the final song live to those gathered. It was particularly touching as Daniel had performed the same song at the funeral of his own mother, Julia. Fortunately Robert’s daughter Rosemary was on hand and together they made the arrangements to allow the star to play his part in the final farewell of a fan and a friend. At the appropriate moment Robert was able to announce that ‘We have the man himself, live on my telephone!’ “It was a magic moment” he says, “for the family, the congregation, the Clergy, for me and of course, for Daniel”. Rosemary recorded the whole event and with the permission of the family arranged for the video to be posted on the website of local magazine ‘The Opinion’. The posting has been viewed over half a million times and editor Eddie Goggin says ‘We’ve never seen anything like this. Margaret was a much loved lady and her devotion to Daniel was well know, so there could not have been a more fitting tribute’.

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Frank Campbell at his Desk

Funereal Soft Furnishings Ltd, are a family run business since 1942. We supply funeral directors and coffin manufacturers with coffin interiors, shrouds, coffin pads and consumable products. Our company has been in operation for over 70 years. The company started as Shroud Manufacturers, part of W L Doggart & Sons, Undertakers Merchants on 26 February 1942. The factory was based at 7 James Street South, Belfast. Frank Campbell, joined the company in April 1951 and went on to be Managing Director in the company until his retirement in 2001. Franks son Mark who joined the business in 1991 now owns and runs Funereal Soft Furnishings.

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Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

75 years by your side T

his summer, local health charity Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke celebrates its 75th anniversary. First established in June of 1946, the charity was set up by 16 visionary volunteers as the first NI branch of the National Association for the Prevention of Tuberculosis. Today, 75 years on, the charity continues to care and support for the local community. By 1946, the second world war had ended but the repercussions still rippled through the farthest corners of Northern Ireland. In the city centres, poor nutrition, inadequate cramped housing and poverty, exacerbated by returning servicemen, waged a third war – this time on health. The new enemy, an airborne bacterial infection, Tuberculosis (TB) had existed in Ireland since the 1600s. But, with the poverty of post-war, the infection rate was on the rise and Northern Ireland was suffering from the highest death toll from TB of anywhere in the UK. Northern Ireland was in crisis. Recognising the devastating effects of this pandemic, the 16 volunteers called a meeting on Friday 14 June 1946. Their mission was to educate people about TB and to care for those suffering. Once the war against TB had been won, the charity adapted and evolved, changing its focus to concentrate on all diseases of the chest and heart in 1959, and further expanding to include stroke in 1976. In 2020/21, NICHS has continued to support the front line in the face of adversity and, during the recent COVID-19 pandemic, has committed to evolve and grow. All rehabilitation programmes, care groups, and even the respiratory-support choir normally all delivered face-to-face, have been adapted to a virtual platform. Through lockdown the charity has continued to disseminate advice on health and preventing disease, hosting webinars on sleep, stress and diet, delivering health checks to the public, and offering

36 | FuneralTimes

a wellbeing programme to local businesses, all online. NICHS has kept close contact with clients through posted monthly newsletters and a system of support telephone calls (32,100 calls made to date!). And, what’s more, its one-of-a-kind COVID recovery service is actively caring and supporting sufferers of long COVID. It has, no doubt, been a challenging 15 months but, as always, NICHS has adapted to face your most immediate needs and to support you and your family through your most difficult time. To find out more about NICHS care services and health support, visit www.nichs.org.uk

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Revolutionary new aid for Funeral Directors • The Coffin Square™ hailed by some as the best invention within the Funeral Industry in over a decade! • Never have a cross, breastplate or religious emblem crooked again. • Pinpoint accuracy, perfectly square and symmetrical – every time. • In simple terms as long as the number increments match left and right both on the bottom of The Coffin Square™ and same on the top – you have achieved perfection. • Save time at a critical point in preparing a funeral. • One-time purchase – long-life product if looked after – competitively priced. The Coffin SquareTM doesn’t just aim for perfection, it delivers it – every single time!

EARLY BIRD OFFER The Coffin Square™ is set to be the go-to device in every coffin room, get yours today at the early bird price of €95.00 (S. Ireland) or £85.00 (N. Ireland) £95.00 (U.K) delivered to your door. SIMPLE A simple measuring device to assist the funeral director to accurately place items such as a cross, breastplate, or other adorning emblems upon the awkward shape of a coffin/casket lid. ACCURATE The Coffin Square™ is a 2D, square-shaped measuring aid with foursided calibration to allow equidistant symmetry from both sides of the coffin/casket lid to accurately pinpoint the exact location of the various adornments to the lid centrally and squarely. 38 | FuneralTimes

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James Ryan with his new Insignia hearse by Quinn Hearse and Limousine.

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•

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F or more information on any of these benefits you receive as a member of the NAFD, please call: 0121 711 1343 or email: su@nafd.org.uk  National Association of Funeral Directors  @NAFD_UK @NAFDUK NAFD is an appointed representative of SEIB Insurance Brokers which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority

NAFD News Former Government Minister the Rt. Hon. David Heath CBE appointed to chair new funeral standards organisation

he Right Honourable David Heath CBE, former Deputy Leader of the House of Commons and Minister of State in the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, has been appointed Chair of the Independent Funeral Standards Organisation (IFSO) - the new independent regulatory body being set up by the National Association of Funeral Directors. IFSO will take over all the Association’s current inspections, complaints and monitoring activities - providing a robust mechanism to monitor quality standards among funeral firms that, the NAFD believes, will satisfy the Competition and Market Authority’s (CMA) recommendations. IFSO will operate completely independently from the NAFD and will also be open to non-member firms, ensuring all funeral homes have the options to demonstrate to the public that they are abiding by a common set of industry high standards. Jon Levett, Chief Executive of the NAFD, said: “This is a bold step by the NAFD. We are seeking to create a truly independent regulatory body for the funeral sector and I am delighted that we have been able to attract an independent chair of David’s calibre to lead it. David brings with him extensive experience in regulatory issues - and in standards monitoring in other consumer-facing sectors - that will ensure IFSO can quickly build the respect of Government, the CMA, the funeral sector and, most importantly of all, bereaved people.” David Heath explained what attracted him to the new role and his immediate priorities: “I am not an expert in the funeral sector and that’s important,” he began. “It’s essential that I am

independent and bring an objective perspective on the way the profession carries out its work. I will bring in the point of view of the consumer, but will also be considering what regulators are looking for - and why - to ensure that IFSO supports delivery of those outcomes. “I don’t underestimate the hugeness of the task ahead of us in establishing IFSO. We need to make sure it acts in a proportionate way and we avoid over-prescriptive rulebooks. And we must also make sure that it makes a difference to the people that we are seeking to protect. In this respect we aren’t starting from a blank canvas. We already have professional standards monitoring in the sector through the two main trade bodies. It will make sense for regulators to use structures already in place that work well and we now have to make sure IFSO becomes effective in driving up standards.” Over the next few months, David Heath will oversee appointment of a director of regulation for IFSO, a board of directors and the creation of a constitution. Another priority will be getting out and about - even if mainly virtually in the first instance. He added: “I need to grow my understanding of the issues, so will be meeting with people from across the sector, as well as the CMA and Government, including in Scotland, so that we can seek to ensure that there is consistency across the four nations. “I’m very much looking forward to this new role - both to demonstrating the value and importance of IFSO to consumers and to supporting the funeral directing community, through the monitoring of high standards, in the important work they do with both bereaved and deceased people.” FuneralTimes | 45

DipFD Direct Entry pass opens up new routes to study

ollowing the launch of the new DipFD funeral directing qualification earlier in the year, the NAFD has launched the Direct Entry route. Available from 1 June 2021, this route is a fast-track option to registration for the DipFD aimed at funeral professionals who have years of experience in funeral service, but no formal prior qualifications. The NAFD’s suite of qualifications are considered the gold standard in the sector, and this route offers a fantastic opportunity for funeral professionals to achieve qualifications, using the skills and knowledge already gained from work experience. This option is part of the new career pathway developed by the NAFD and will provide progression for employees working in the funeral industry wishing to access the Diploma. To access the Direct Entry route, applicants must complete the following: • an online pre-qualifying assessment, testing current knowledge and understanding of legislation and

practice associated with arranging a funeral; • evidence of a minimum of three years arranging and conducting a minimum of 75 funerals, evidenced by employer or colleague sign off. Students will be required to complete and upload a spreadsheet of evidence; • completion of an application form with a series of experience-based questions. Students will be required to indicate their preferred tutor for the DipFD, and the application form and spreadsheet of evidence will be sent to the tutor for review and approval. When an applicant passes, the Direct Entry route pass will be valid for 12 months, meaning individuals will be required to register and begin studying for the DipFD within 12 months of completing the Direct Entry route. If this time lapses, applicants will be required to re-register and pay again for the Direct Entry route. The cost of the course is £170, which includes one assessment resit.

UK Government recognises work of ‘unsung heroes’ in funeral sector in response to CMA

n April, the Ministry of Justice published its response to the Competition and Markets Authority final report. Its response recognises the hard work of funeral directors, their important and often unrecognised role in the community - and sets out an intention to work with the sector to craft a standards framework that will give confidence to bereaved families that the funeral firm they choose will adhere to an agreed and consistent set of high standards when caring for deceased people. In the report’s introduction, The Ministry of Justice says: “The funeral sector, in one form or another, has provided a valuable service to the country for centuries. The funeral sector is often made up of unsung heroes within the community, with much of their work unseen by the public. The government recognises the hard work of the funeral sector, and further appreciates its dedication through the particular challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic. Funeral directors have met the demands of this particularly challenging period, often providing informal bereavement support in addition to their usual services. The NAFD is delighted that the points it has consistently made across the past twelve months

46 | FuneralTimes

(and since the CMA launched its investigation in 2018) - including the impact of the pandemic on the profession, both now and in the future - and the significant cross sector work that has already gone into addressing this issue, both within the NAFD and through the Funeral Service Consumer Standards Review - have been heard. In the response, the Government recognises that now is not the time for wholescale regulation of funeral firms and instead will work with the sector to achieve this outcome. NAFD Chief Executive Jon Levett said: “The NAFD looks forward to working closely with the Ministry of Justice to demonstrate that our revised inspections regime and comprehensive industry code of practice (The Funeral Director Code), which has been created in consultation with consumer bodies and representatives from across the sector through the work of the FSCSR, and our work to create the Independent Funeral Standards Organisation, an independent body which will oversee standards monitoring, inspections and complaints, will provide Government with the assurance it needs that the funeral sector is committed to acting with transparency, high standards and in the interests of bereaved people.”

Training for frontline funeral service operatives launched T

he NAFD is also pleased to offer the Frontline Funeral Service Operations Training Programme, an entry-level course designed and delivered in conjunction with the North Tees & Hartlepool NHS Foundation Trust. This is a course designed specifically for the needs of funeral service operatives, funeral assistants and new funeral directors. The role of a funeral service employee is varied and they are caring for clients who are often distressed, so it’s essential that all key employees are trained to client care as well as competent in all aspects of their role. This occupational group is often a first point of contact for bereaved people, from removal of the deceased person from the place of death to liaising with Coroners and Procurator Fiscal personnel, mortuary and bereavement teams and the Police, during transfer and care of the deceased. They are also often involved in the care of deceased people and aiding their bereaved relatives and friends during visitation. The objective of the training programme is to equip students with the knowledge and skills to carry out the functions of funeral service operations - including all physical and administrative responsibilities - safely, and with care and consideration at all times. The training will be completed over a period

of six months via a series of online workshops, assessments and portfolio of evidence. Each cluster of units within each module will be completed within approximately one month, assessed by basic tests, completion of learning, examination questions, a visual competency test or by the student providing reflection and a portfolio of evidence throughout the duration of learning. The six syllabus modules are: • Sensitive communication • Health and Safety within the funeral business • Manual handling of the deceased and infection control • Mortuary practice • Care and preparation of the deceased • Preparing for and conducting visitation of the deceased The total cost of this course is £750 and includes the NAFD registration fee, external verification fees, two full teaching days, online resource access, regular access to course facilitators, support for both the student and the mentor and lecture programme/training notes. For information on any of these courses please contact the NAFD Education team at trainingadmin@nafd.org.uk or visit www. nafdeducation.org.uk for registration and further details.

National Association of Funeral Directors raises concerns about accuracy of CMA’s Standardised Price List

n its response to the Competition and Markets Authority’s (CMA) consultation on the draft Order, the NAFD set out a range of comments and concerns, making it clear that, while the Association supports the policy intentions behind the proposed measures, it has concerns about some of the detail which, it believes, could lead to unintended consequences for funeral firms and for bereaved people. Such were the NAFD’s concerns, the Association went as far as to completely redraft the Standardised Price List, with support from small, medium and large member firms, to highlight the

issues with the CMA’s own proposed version. The NAFD also highlighted concerns over the proposed three month timetable for implementation. Under normal circumstances, this would be tight but achievable but, under the circumstances does not take into consideration the awareness, resource, time and certainty issues that the pandemic has conspired to create within the funeral profession - given its frontline role over the past sixteen months. Read the NAFD’s full response at: nafd.org.uk/ news/policy-legislation. FuneralTimes | 47

An unprecedented 400 people attend the 2021 NAFD AGM and Conference

he largest number of voting members to attend an Annual General Meeting in more than a decade helped kick off an extraordinarily successful 2021 NAFD Annual Conference in May – one held entirely online and broadcast live from a studio in Birmingham. The event, which under any other set of circumstances would have been held in NAFD President David Barrington’s home city of Liverpool, was instead brought to life online. Having 185 members attending the virtual AGM was a welcome indicator that there is greater interest in the NAFD’s Governance than can normally fit into a Conference venue. The numbers continued to climb, with 377 attendees for the Friday afternoon Education Sessions and 322 joining the event on the Saturday. Welcoming members to the AGM, NAFD President David Barrington, who chaired the meeting, reminded the attendees of the extraordinary year they had been through and that they should be proud of the support they have provided the nation, “You find out a lot about people when you put them under pressure,” he said. “Well, the funeral profession has certainly been under pressure over the past twelve months - and I think it is fair to say that we have more than risen to the occasion. In fact, we have done ourselves truly proud.” He also reminded members of the hard work, behind the scenes, of National Office. “They aren’t a big team but, my word, they’ve worked hard to ensure the NAFD could be there for its members in a time of crisis,” he said. “As part of the COVID Advisory Board, along with colleagues representing all parts of the membership, I have met weekly with the NAFD team, wrestling with issues ranging from access to PPE and vaccinations, to the impact of restrictions and safety measures on bereaved people and funeral employees. I have also taken part in late night and weekend ‘WhatsApp’ discussions, on urgent issues, as the team sought to deal with problems while members had a few hours of much-needed rest. “Somewhere in the middle of responding to the pandemic, in 2020-21 the NAFD team also launched a whole new Education framework and made sure

48 | FuneralTimes

students could sit their exams. They moved the National Funeral Exhibition - lock, stock and barrel - , back by twelve months and kept exhibitors on board. They pressed ahead with Governance reform, including a complete overhaul of how the NAFD accounts for its revenue and expenses. “They persisted with representing our needs to the CMA and putting plans in place to ensure we meet the Government’s future requirements of us, in terms of standards – and they developed and launched a new code of practice and inspections regime. These are just some of the good reasons why your NAFD is shortlisted for UK Trade Association of the Year for 2021.” On Friday afternoon, the focus of the Education Sessions was regulation, with sessions from Ecclesiastical on regulation of funeral plan sales by the Financial Conduct Authority, updating your terms and conditions of business by BEB Consultancy and two sessions exploring parallels with the imminent implementation of statutory regulation, one with David Moger of the Funeral Directors’ Association

of New Zealand and the other with Richard Flint, the former chairman of SkyBet. On Saturday 15 May, attendees enjoyed four very different presentations – all designed to be thought-provoking, informative and memorable. First, Hasina Zaman, from Compassionate Funerals in East London, spoke frankly about arranging funerals during COVID and shared a ‘culture competence model’ that guides her approach to arranging funerals for many different faiths and cultures - through the example of the funeral of community leader Fuad. Hasina was followed by Debbie Kerslake, former CEO of Cruse Bereavement Care and now a bereavement researcher and specialist, who talked about the growth of direct cremation and why marketing slogans like ‘avoid the fuss’ ‘ditch the mourners’ and ‘save your family the distress’ have made her shout at the radio in frustration. The third speaker, communications and marketing consultant Ashley Riley, asked the audience how well they understood the reputation, strengths and weaknesses of their business and explained what they can do with the information to build their brand and shape how they talk to their customers – and the keynote session on the Saturday was from Invictus Games athlete, Hon Col Andy Grant. In a riveting session, complete with video excerpts covering his life story, Andy talked about losing his Mum to leukaemia aged just 12, joining the Marines at 17, serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, being shot at and then eventually blown up. He shared his experience of going through two years of rehab before eventually choosing to amputate his leg for a better quality of life. Since the amputation, Andy revealed that he has competed at the Invictus Games and won gold, climbed some of the highest mountains in the world and become the fastest

single leg amputee in the world over 10 kilometres. As well as the speaker sessions, a fringe programme was launched online, featuring seven short video workshops on key sector topics, including bereavement training for funeral directors, mental health and wellbeing, effective complaints handling, Muslim Burial Traditions and Customs, reducing client debt, putting your prices online – and forthcoming new NAFD website and CRM system. These videos are available for delegates and NAFD members to watch until 15 August 2021. At the close of Conference, the traditional handover from one President to another took place – naturally, with some modifications for COVID times. Each handover was done separately, with outgoing President, David Barrington, providing a running commentary as Cardiff-born NAFD tutor Kate Edwards was installed as the 101st President - the first Category E member to hold the office. John Adams, of Perry and Phillips in Shropshire, was installed as First Vice-President and Barry Pritchard, of Barry Pritchard Funeral Services, was installed as Second Vice-President. The NAFD would once again like to thank Conference sponsors JC Atkinson, Auden Funeral supplies, Citation, Coleman Milne, Funeral Partners, Funeral Products, The MazWell Group, Motorcycle Funerals, MuchLoved, Rowland Brothers, SEIB, Seker and principal sponsor Ecclesiastical Planning Services, without whose support the event simply would not have been possible. FuneralTimes | 49

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Quirky Flowers - the florist that’s doing it differently! V

ariety is the spice of life. At Quirky Flowers we take that quite literally! Our name says it all - from our Tribute Sprays to Panels, we offer something different to the funeral trade. Our wide ranging selection is available in a range of styles and colours, complemented with lettering from the latest Medite Tricoya Board, designed especially for outdoor use, offering years of durability against our harsh Irish weather conditions. Having watched the demise of the industry due to the supply of cheap, plastic, artificial imitations, prompted us to start up Quirky Flowers.ie. All our Sympathy Range of Sprays, Panels, and Wreaths are manufactured in

our own family run premises just outside of Enniscrone in Co. Sligo. Our Silk Floral range of Sprays and Wreaths are the perfect choice, providing a long-lasting, realistic, low maintenance alternative to fresh flowers, giving you that “Picked this morning fresh look” all day, every day! A large selection of Posies, Hearts and Sprays are also available. All our Sympathy and Memorial ranges are specifically weighted to withstand our harsh windy weather conditions. Personalised names can be supplied within a 24 hour turnaround with nationwide overnight delivery available. For prices and further information, please give Padraig a call on 086 2596730.

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Exclusive Bespoke range of Name Tribute Sprays and Panels. Sprays are interchangeable reducing stocking costs, offering your customers a complete in-house service; Our Name tribute Panels offer huge savings over traditional panels; Designed complete with their own stand allowing proper visual display wherever they are positioned.

1.2 Meter Casket Spray Visit our website www.quirkyflowers.ie E-mail: quirkyflowers.ie@gmail.com | Mobile : 086 259 6730 FuneralTimes | 51

How Lakelands helps create a bespoke and personal farewell

he first crematorium in the island of Ireland opened in 1961, in Belfast. The first in the Irish Republic opened in 1982. Not exactly today or yesterday but in the greater scheme of Irish funeral traditions, it’s still a relatively recent development. The first cremation took place with ourselves in Lakelands in July 2015, a first for a crematorium outside of a major Irish city. Over the last 6 years, we have seen so many come through our doors and yet there are still many more who come, not knowing what to expect. Even in our open minded, forward thinking Ireland, there still remains something of a pall over death and how we mark someone’s passing. There are many reasons for this: superstitious, emotional, psychological and religious reasons along with how we sense our basic human mortality all play a part in how we view death and its rituals. Sometimes experiencing something new in those rituals unlocks a flurry of curious questions and untainted observations. Cremations stir up thoughts and 52 | FuneralTimes

reflections that may have gone unexpressed or even unrealised at a more traditional funeral and by a graveside. Whenever we move away from what may be seen as a conventional approach to a funeral service and choose something less familiar, our imaginations are engaged and new possibilities and opportunities offer themselves to how we may wish to celebrate the passing of someone close to us, or indeed how we ourselves might plan for our own farewell. Here at Lakelands, we have celebrated religious and spiritual services from the Catholic and Protestant traditions, as well as Sikhism, Buddhism and services created to acknowledge the very individual beliefs of others. Along with these, we conduct civil ceremonies, as well as for those who follow the Humanist philosophy. With the help of clergy and religious ministers, celebrants and speakers, family and friends and members of our own staff here at Lakelands, we can create a bespoke farewell that is personal, unique and memorable as you celebrate the life and legacy of someone special.

Our Crematorium, Facilities and Remembrance Garden are available 7 days a week to accommodate Families and Funeral Directors (no weekend surcharge) Memorial Keepsakes

Lakelands Crematorium, Dublin Rd, Cavan, Co. Cavan Tel: 049 4362200 / mob: 086 2458489 email: info@LakelandsCrematorium.ie www.LakelandsCrematorium.ie

New Delivery -

Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Paddy Quinn hands over the keys of a new E Class hearse to Donal Forde.

54 | FuneralTimes

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn. Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly. We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

For more information contact us or visit our website Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579 info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

Obit turns five! A

t the end of May this year, Obit celebrated its 5th anniversary having originally launched with early adopter Griffins back in May 2016. Griffins have been in the business since 1860 and current MD, John-Mark says “I’m delighted that I made the decision to work with the Obit team to create this tool. I can’t believe Obit has achieved and developed so much in 5 years. It has far surpassed my expectations and is now a fundamental part of our business. The fact that it’s constantly evolving within an ever-changing industry is a testament to Mark, Richard and Co.” In that time, we have tried to stay true to our original mission to make Obit the software of choice for Irish Funeral Directors by listening to our new clients as they came on board. Almost every single new client brought slightly different perspectives and wishes to the table and that is reflected in the mature product Obit is today

The overall thrust has been to make Obit more intuitive and easy-to-use, while at the same time evolving functionality to support messaging, notifications and customization. The Covid pandemic brought a new impetus to the need to support colleagues working remotely the last three releases of Obit have all focused at least in part on making all functions easier to handle on mobile. Over the past five years, through improvements in templates and enhancements like the Funeral Wizard, we have cut the number of clicks needed by over 60%. We also offer free support and assistance to all existing clients to help them take advantage of any new features. To celebrate the 5th anniversary we are making a one-time offer of 50% discount for the first five months for any new clients quoting Funeral Times - just visit www.obit.cloud and send us a message or email us at robin@lytesoft.com

Bury Your Paperwork In The Cloud obit

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hello@obit .cloud 56 | FuneralTimes

w w w.obit .cloud

www.coachbuilders.ie sales@coachbuilders.ie Tel: +353 87 269 0044 Ballyfinane, Firies, Killarney, Co. Kerry

Join the association that’s leading the way. Representing and promoting the interests of 850 independent funeral directors. SAIF is at the forefront of tackling the big industry issues that matter to you. As the united voice of independent funeral directors we have led the way in setting the highest standards of professionalism and conduct within the industry. By joining SAIF you too can demonstrate that you uphold this same commitment. For over 25 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.

Join SAIF now: visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726 777

Saif News Saif News

SAIF AGM 2021 T

his year SAIF held their first virtual AGM, which apart from a couple of technical problems went very well. It began with an introduction and welcome from Terry Tennens, Chief Executive, followed by National President Mark Porteous who provided a summary of the past year highlighting on the challenges faced by the profession concerning the pandemic and the Competition Markets Authority (CMA). 1st Vice President Jo Parker offered a minute’s silence to all those who passed away connected to SAIF member firms during the last year. Terry Tennens also gave a summary of the past year which included the work carried out to support the profession during the pandemic including the creation of the Deceased Management Advisory Group (DMAG) from seven major death care trade associations. The CMA investigation was also raised along with the Funeral Services Consumer Review (FSCSR) which was formed by both SAIF and the NAFD to explore a common benchmark for a

national code of practice. The AGM minutes from 2020 and the Accounts for the year end 31st December 2020, were formally adopted.      This year, the reports that were included in the AGM booklet were pre-recorded with those who had provided a report available for a virtual Q&A session after and were formally adopted.   Elected to the National Executive Committee was Declan Maguire, Amanda Dalby and Gary Staker with Paul Allcock, Ross Hickton and Gemma O’Driscoll being re-elected, with the SAIF Officers being formally elected.   The meeting formally closed at 5.40pm. The full version of the reports can be found in the AGM 2021 booklet, which was emailed to all members and is available in in the members area of the SAIF website. Next year’s AGM will be held in Edinburgh at the Dalmahoy Hotel & Country Club on Saturday 19th March 2022. Further details of the weekend will be available later in the year, but please reserve 17-20th March 2022 in your diaries.

Save The Date - Good News We are pleased to announce that following Government guidelines, SAIF’S EDUCATION DAY will be held in person on Wednesday 10th November 2021, 9.30am – 4.30pm. There will be the associates’ exhibition along with a variety of speakers covering topics including but not exhaustive to: • how the climate and environment will affect the funeral profession • CMA and FCA regulation updates • how skilful funeral arrangers can use emotional intelligence (EQ) to further assist the client experience

• how diversity & inclusion can impact the funeral director • updates from the IFD College including the launch of the new qualification Following last year, it will be a good opportunity for both funeral directors and those who provide services to the profession to catch up and network. The agenda along with the booking form will be provided soon. We cannot wait to see you all again IN PERSON and it’s going to be a fabulous day together. FuneralTimes | 59

Saif News Saif News Meet the Team Many of you may have spoken to the SAIF Business Centre at one time or another but apart from continuing to provide the support to our members each of the team has a key responsibility: Terry Tennens: Chief Executive Claire Day: Administration Manager Corinne Pengelly: The administrator for The Independent Funeral Director (IFD) College Maria Sherlock: Administers the new application process Sam Reynolds: Administers the quality assurance inspections and the annual subscription renewals Angela Camp: Administers the digital arena including the SAIF website, SAIF briefings, social media, webinars as well as arranging and coordinating regional meetings

GerryWreath McDermott Manufacturer Circular Road, Roscommon

Mob: 086 2544126 or Mob: 086 8205215 60 | FuneralTimes

New Delivery -

Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Tony and Andrew Shevlin collect the latest addition to their fleet, a new Quinn E Class Limousine.

Mortuary Services & Training Specialists Professional and very Competitive Repatriation Service. Nationwide Collection and Embalming Service. Daily Collections from Dublin Hospitals, Nursing Homes etc. (deceased can be then collected from our premises or delivered to your Funeral Home)

Fully Equipped Fleet of Private Ambulances Woodstock Ind. Est. Athy, Co. Kildare

086 0619500 059 8631541 085 7671582 www.mortuary-science.ie FuneralTimes | 61

Muldowney Memorials is the best advocate you and your families need today.

Someone who is there to help your families see the passionate and knowledgeable supporter you really are. We will encourage and guide you in updating and renewing your expertise and outsource services where needed to completely pay homage to a life lost that will engage all ﬁve of the human senses. You need to get all of those precious details right the ﬁrst and only time for your families. You are a part of a community who cares for their community’s loved ones when they pass, you know your family's best and we can help you to bring them the very best.

Services include: Memorial Planning Memorial staff education and training Celebrant officiation Celebrant education and training Staff sales training on value-added offerings Modernization consultancy Rebranding consultancy Service/product brand ambassadorship PR & marketing - digitally and beyond B2C communication strategy

www.muldowneymemorials.com

Jennifer Muldowney is the event planner for memorials in the United States of America and Ireland and currently partnered with the prestigious Frank E. Campbell - The Funeral Chapel in NYC as their in-house event planner. Jennifer is also notable as author of Say Farewell Your Way, Tedx speaker of ‘Grief as Unique as your Heartbeat’ and host of ‘The Glam Reaper Podcast’. Check out Muldowney Memorials (.com) to learn more.

By Jennifer Muldowney

Write it all down! L

ast issue I wrote about funeral style events I call ‘Off Site Events’ that typically involve catering, often with alcohol, and are a potential new source of revenue to funeral homes and are an incredible opportunity to further build loyalty and relationships with your community. I even included how to help broach the topic with families, but I want to further that topic because getting anything in writing with a family will help when you call on them in a few weeks or months – it will seem less like a cold sales call and more like a friend calling for a chat and to follow up on a conversation. Win Win. When you have the family in the room and they are planning a direct burial or direct cremation or extremely limited service due to COVID restrictions, you can initiate a conversation about what kind of ceremony or gathering they would like to have in the future. Some families will want the official and more traditional full mass or funeral home send off and some will want a memorial ‘off site’ in a restaurant, bar, beach, school, field or whatever! Anything goes but the more they can dream of this with you, the better. WRITE IT DOWN. Take all the details, of names and vendors that might be an option for them and who from their family will be helping with the event. Get into as much detail as possible. Perhaps it is mentioned in the obituary too which makes it even more official. If you can get a date confirmed too all the better. A birthday, anniversary or their death anniversary might be appropriate and you as the funeral home have

1. Family wants a ‘simple/direct’ cremation - “Where will you be having a memorial service?” 2. Family talks of 200+ guests -”We have partnerships with venues that can hold up to 1200 people and we could arrange a priest/rabbi?” 3. Family wants something different - “Some people find churches and funeral homes too traditional, have you considered a different venue?” 4. Family wants no hassle - “We can arrange for everything including invitations to be sent out” access to all of this knowledge so you should use it to help your families further. You can also offer to put down deposits on behalf of the family if you have that capability. Always send the family and other ‘helpers’ a copy of the document once it has been professionally put together after the meeting. This will help solidify the service in their mind. Whether you choose to hire an event planner to execute the plan or you just help point the family in the right direction or your funeral home takes care of all the details itself, you have done an incredible justice to those grieving during COVID and beyond who rely on your expertise to get them through one of life’s toughest moments. Bravo! FuneralTimes | 63

Your Partners In Delivering Excellence In Funeral Products & Services Nationally

e in the Funeral Sector have worked through a challenging and at times a difficult period over these last fifteen months and we have seen many changes. We at Finlay have learned a lot through the pandemic and no doubt we have made mistakes during these exceptional times, but with the experience we have gained, we continue to evolve and improve the service we provide moving forward. Through this feature we would like to give you an update on where we as a business are now and what we are working on at this time.

• During the pandemic we took a number of actions in our business which have allowed us the ability to increase our coffin production and this capacity remains in place to support you and allow you to plan for whatever your business needs are in the months. • Over the past 15 months we have recruited and trained up to fifteen additional factory Team members and we are currently maintaining an increased number of Team members as we work through both our carried forward 2020 holidays and our 2021 holidays. • While mortalities have been somewhat lower recently our Dispatch Team led by Martin Carroll, Jimmy O Reilly and Carles Mahiques continue to deliver daily throughout the island. • What we have noticed in 2021 is a very definite return to a higher level of personalisation of coffin choices and our range has now grown to in excess of 130 different coffin models. • We have been using the quieter recent weeks to carry out maintenance and preventative maintenance in the factory which wasn’t possible during the pandemic. On the day I write this our electricians were onsite this morning at 4am to complete an installation before the factory Team arrived for the day. • We have also continually maintained and updated our factory operations including our Health and Safety rules and procedures to ensure the ongoing safety of our Team members and all stakeholders. • We will continue to monitor your needs and we will plan our factory and distribution volume accordingly in the weeks and months ahead. • We are your Partner and we will be here to support you and your bereaved Families when you need us. For now, keep well and I hope you have a very enjoyable summer. Colman

Excellence in Funeral Products and Services 64 | FuneralTimes

MEET OUR CUSTOMER CARE TEAM

Eimear Grimes

eimeargrimes@finlaygrp.com

Shauna McNally

shauna.mcnally@finlaygrp.com

Finlay Green Coffins

Kayden Quinn

Kayden.quinn@finlaygrp.com

Support World Environment Day 2021 Finlay encourages and supports green actions and in our business we aspire to environmentally sustainable sourcing and work practices. Our Green Coffin & Green Cremation range include: • Pandanus products • Seagrass products • Willow products • Wicker products • Cardboard products • Wawa products

Finlays of Ardee Ltd. Office: Tierney Street, Ardee, Co. Louth Factory: Kells Road, Ardee, Co. Louth Tel: (041) 6853603 (Int'l +353) • From the U.K. call: (0870) 241 0652

www.finlaygrp.com • info@finlaygrp.com FuneralTimes | 65

Seriously A Living Funeral, is that really possible? BY SUE ANNE O’DONNELL Yes, it is! As a celebrant, I am very privileged to spend my working day helping people to celebrate momentous occasions in their lives - including death. For this edition of the Funeral Times I have chosen to share some thoughts on Living Funerals sometimes referred to as a pre funeral. Now bear with me as this I agree is a newer and to some most unusual idea and quite naturally will not appeal to all. I first learned of a funeral for a living person when I read ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom and after I dealt with my internal dialogue of thoughts such as: -that’s not how it’s done, that’s odd, sure a funeral is only for the deceased, this would be too upsetting, I found myself beginning to look at the idea more, and the more I did, the more I could see how peaceful an experience this could be, what a gift not only to the person dying enabling them to say good bye in their way, but for those who attend they too can say good bye, share their stories and say how grateful they are to have shared life with the soon to be deceased. I have been captured ever since by the idea of Living Funerals and I can hand on heart say, ‘they are so moving, so personal, and unique to each person I have had the honour to plan, write and hold one for’. A living Ceremony/Funeral allows them to be fully present at the celebration of the life they have shared and lived. They get to tell those they love, how they love them, with the Ceremony from start to finish being on their terms. I agree that for many this is a sombre and sad occasion, but for others if you are open to it, if you are willing to be there for your nearest and dearest, it is an opportunity to celebrate their life in the way they would like. Maybe you have decided you would like to hold your own living ceremony. 66 | FuneralTimes

Now, I am aware you may be unfamiliar or unsure about this concept, so let me take you through a little of what is involved, what I do and how it can truly be a glorious celebration of honouring the life you have lived and appreciating those who have helped to enrich your life. Or maybe you are reading this and know someone who would like to organise their own living funeral. Maybe you would like to share with them how it works as your way of showing them you support them in their wish to plan their Ceremony with me. When someone is informed that they do not have much time left, they can be saddened at the prospect of not getting to say goodbye to their nearest and dearest. Arranging a living funeral can be a rich, rewarding and heart lifting way to celebrate a life lived, a life treasured, a life blessed with friends and family and adventure. And yes, I do believe we all have elements of these experiences at varying levels, at one time or another in our lifetime. This Ceremony can take place wherever you wish – in your home, a place of special meaning, by the beach, in the garden at evening time, and while not as personal, online does allow those living further away to be present virtually. Of course, there will be tears, but there will be laughter too. Can you just imagine the feeling of love in this Ceremony as everyone gets to say what is in their heart? You can imagine how love filled the dying person will feel, the peace experienced, for they too will have shared what is in their heart. The important thing is that it is your celebration and when we meet to plan, the ceremony will be crafted to reflect you, your favourite poems, memories, a slide show of moments captured in your lifetime you wish to share with those present. Your wishes are carried out in every element of the Ceremony Celebration from start to finish, making it an immensely personal event.

Family and friends can be invited to ‘be part of the ceremony’, singing, sharing their personal memory, or maybe reading a piece of prose or an excerpt from your favourite book. You can add your favourite toast, or tipple, prayer or poem, have it fancy dress, bow tie…… Here is my rule about Ceremonies- There Are No Rules! This is your life celebration ceremony; it is your time to spend with those closest to your heart to say your goodbyes. And in case you want to ask, ‘The answer is Yes’ later when the day comes, family often ask me to write a shorter ceremony including snippets from the life celebration so they can gather in honour of their beloved knowing they, possibly in spite of earlier reservations, supported their love ones wish for a Living Funeral and wouldn’t change a thing, because their heart is filled with memories to treasure. I know to say ‘It is an honour and a privilege to hear about someone’s life from those that were closest and to write their Funeral, Memorial or anniversary Ceremony is a gift in my life’ may sound strange to some. But you see I believe we all deserve to be cherished, celebrated, and loved, and for those left behind, their love, loss and sadness also needs to be held safe and given voice. That’s why I do what I do. When I am asked to write and perform a Living Funeral, I am one of the most privileged people I know. I am invited into a person’s life, a life lived and enjoyed. I learn about their life through their eyes and words, from the hard times to the good times. They share with me what brought joy, what opportunities they missed and regretted, the ones in hindsight they are glad they missed! I am invited into a very special place, ‘the story of their life’. They have trusted me to be here with them, to listen, to put into words what sometimes they cannot say, and in doing so to help them through their Living Ceremony allow their heart to feel true peace, while also making sure their loved ones get to hear once more how cherished they are. There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to any holistic

civil ceremony and I very much see my role as facilitating a tailor-made ceremony, borne from our discussions after which I start the preparations with ‘your wish list’ and create a unique ceremony that is special, deeply personal and individual. Living Funerals like funerals, can be deeply emotional events and another my roles as your Celebrant is to support you at all times, this can mean I step in to finish reading a poem or simply stand beside you to reassure you as your tears fall softly. The crux of the ceremony is the honouring of a life, and it is my privilege to help you do that in whatever way you deem appropriate. For me personally a living funeral is simply, respectfully, and beautifully the gift of closure on ‘the hearts unsaid love’. I will have told you how my heart adored you, and mine will have heard how you loved me, even on the days I drove you crazy. My heart as I leave this world will be so filled that I will carry you with me to wherever it is I go when my time to leave arrives’ (Sue Anne O’Donnell) Please feel free to contact me to celebrate your or a Dear Ones Living Funeral Civil Ceremony. I travel the country for Funerals, Memorials, Interment of Ashes, Anniversary, and other ceremonies. I can of course be present with those allowed at the Funeral home, Crematorium and or Graveside, while on other occasions the Ceremony is held for all the family and friends at a later date depending on the family’s request. At this time where family and friends cannot gather, I offer ceremonies online should this suit your needs better. With Love and Understanding Always. Sue Anne, The Celebrant By Your Side Associate Member of the IAFD, IIOC Trained Mobile:+353868239431 Email: sueannecelebrant@gmail.com www.thecelebrantbyyourside.com I always appreciate connecting and if you would like to connect, you’ll find me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter – Sue Anne The Celebrant By Your Side

Sue Anne O’Donnell - ‘The Celebrant By Your Side’ Certified Grief Recovery Specialist

IIOC Trained and Associate Member of IAFD Civil Celebrant

As a Holistic Celebrant I offer an alternative to church ceremonies. Every ceremony is personally written and delivered respectfully to pay homage to the life of your loved one ensuring they are remembered with grace and dignity. Civil Funerals, Memorials and Anniversaries allow us a time and space to mark our loved one’s passing while also honouring our grief. The ceremony can take place in your home, funeral chapel of repose, crematorium, grave-side or place of special significance. If I can be of help in my role as a Funeral Celebrant for a Funeral, Memorial or Anniversary, please feel free to contact me.

Funerals conducted throughout Ireland 7 days a week Mobile: +353 (0)86 8239431 Email: sueannecelebrant@gmail.com / Website: thecelebrantbyyourside.com FuneralTimes | 67

Tallon Mortuary Specialists Professional, Confidential and Caring Services

School of Embalming Qualify for membership of an internationally recognised embalming qualification at your own pace • The ‘Tallon Mortuary Specialists School of Embalming’ offers students and registered embalmers the highest standards of teaching and practice in a supportive environment, with full use of our training facility. • We offer both Distance Learning and attended courses.

For further information and to discuss how this course might work for you please contact us:

Glyn Tallon - 14 Academy Street, Navan, Co. Meath Tel: 086 826 8876 / Fax: 046 903 6001 Web: www.tallonmortuaryspecialists.com Email: info@tallonmortuaryspecialists.com

Comprehensive Grief Support Resources

The Centre for the

Grief Journey After Dr. Bill Webster lost his son 2 years ago, he recommitted himself to assisting those suffering the loss of a loved one. His newly designed website contains a wealth of timely articles, numerous videos , live online sessions and ongoing support programs to help people in your care and community navigate the grief journey. Visit www.griefjourney.com to start your journey.

68 | FuneralTimes

A Lonely Kind of Grief By Dr Bill Webster

n 1965, Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders recorded a song which resonated with many baby-boomers: “Wouldn’t you agree, baby you and me, we got A Groovy Kind of Love”. May I suggest that this present pandemic generation are singing a different song to the same tune, because “we got a lonely kind of grief”. This thought was triggered by a comment in one of my ZOOM support groups. “I was not prepared for how lonely grief could be,” John, who recently lost his wife of 56 years, stated. This idea of “lonely grief” is nothing new. Many people over the years have felt isolated in their grief. Shortly after the death, many feel abandoned by those who rallied round with sympathy and care at the funeral. A few months later, other people’s lives return to normal and they move on. But for the grieving person, their world is different. It becomes a place of lonely grief. Wouldn’t you agree? But the pandemic has raised this to a much higher level. Social isolation has meant that much of the support formerly shown and expressed in funeral services, visitations, social gatherings and other opportunities has been lacking. To make a comprehensive list of how social distancing has affected people and families in nursing homes, those dying in emergency and isolation units would fill a book. I am sure you would agree. The definition of loneliness that I use is “the sense of isolation that comes from the absence of a needed relationship.” This allows us to understand that you can be lonely without being alone. The bereaved person can be surrounded by friends and family, and still feel lonely, because they are missing THAT needed relationship … for John, his wife, for others a child, parent or other significant relationship. Loneliness occurs when a person’s social

relationships don’t meet their interpersonal needs or desires. While loneliness cannot simply be alleviated by the presence or participation of someone else, my point is that the pandemic and its after effects has and will cause a more lonely kind of grief than ever before, complicated by the restrictions of social distancing. While this has been a crucial part of the pandemic strategy to avoid spread, there is a price to be paid, especially for people who at a time of loss, depend on social, emotional and psychological support. Oh, I’m not just talking about a quick 30 minute phone call, or even a social media connection. Social media has overflowed with suggestions on how to cope, like practicing self-care or volunteering. These things are all good in themselves when available. But I’m tired of advice that constantly expounds the “What” without encouraging the “Why” or even the “How”. There are no easy answers. Wouldn’t you agree? While I have been pleasantly surprised about how helpful and well-received my online support groups seem to have been, I am the first to admit that while these things can make a difference, they are not the total solution to “lonely grief”. Here are 3 challenges that have to be addressed in “lonely grief”: 1. The Danger of Depersonalization A friend of mine is a professional athlete, but suffered a career ending injury a year or so ago. He told me that he felt he had gone from being a hero to a nobody in that split second. When you lose a loved one; a job; or your purpose or role in life; the result is often depersonalization, which is defined as “a detachment within the self, or being a detached observer of oneself.” In such situations, people feel they have changed and that the world has become vague, FuneralTimes | 69

less real, lacking in significance, with the sense of being outside reality looking in. Within the experience, people may ultimately feel like they are nothing but “a replaceable cog in a heartless machine”. It becomes a loss of status in a world that too often has a “what have you done for me LATELY?” attitude. As my friend John said. “I appreciate my family friends and this support group. But it’s strange. Only one person is missing, but the whole world seems empty.” C.S. Lewis made a similar discovery: “Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” 2. The Need to be Valued All of us want to feel we are needed and that our life has some value. The important word in that sentence is the word “feel”. All too often, in personal and professional relationships, when asked if a family member, colleague or client is valued and loved, the response is often “That goes without saying”. But that is exactly the problem. Love and appreciation often GOES …. WITHOUT saying! It is important, in grief and every life situation, to impart to people that they are valued; their

struggle is respected; that the smallest victory is a major achievement. 3. The Importance of having a Purpose We like to feel that things happen for a purpose. We want to believe that everything in life will be meaningful and work out in a way that makes sense. Yet sometimes stuff happens that doesn’t seem to have a lot of meaning or serve any obvious purpose. Any bereavement or life-loss can strip us of what we regarded as our purpose in life. In the light of the pandemic, many are left feeling their life no longer has purpose. They need to be encouraged to see, that no matter what happens, life can still be meaningful. However, this involves finding a renewed sense of meaning and purpose for life, even though there may still be many unanswered questions. It requires coming to where I can say that even though some external circumstances may never make sense, I can still believe that I have a meaningful life in spite of what has happened. Remember! People don’t fake grief or loneliness. They just fake being OK! Wouldn’t you agree?

First you hurt, then you heal Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process . He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process. This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life. First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon. 70 | FuneralTimes

Mondeo End Of Production Spells the End of an Era, and the End of the Reasonably Priced Funeral Vehicle

After 28 successful years of production, Ford Motor Company has announced that the iconic Mondeo models will roll off the production line for the last time at the end of the first quarter in 2022.

aunched in 1993, the Mondeo was developed as Ford’s first truly global car, as the French word “Monde” meaning “World” suggests. The model quickly became a huge hit and earned What Car? Magazine’s prestigious Car of the Year award in the same year. The model has been just as successful for Coleman Milne. Since production of our Norwood & Rosedale range began in 2015, we have delivered 580 vehicles to Funeral Directors in the UK and Ireland. Despite its popularity over the decades, Ford sited that the demise of the Mondeo is another step on Ford’s electrification journey, providing a bridge to an all-electric passenger vehicle future. Changing customer preferences has also seen the progression towards SUV style vehicles. Due to pressure brought by the government’s climate change targets to cut CO2 emissions, all car manufactures must produce electric vehicles, so naturally, in the near future the only new cars available will be fully electric and

we anticipate that the base cost will be in the region of at least £30,000 more expensive than the Mondeo. A full fleet replacement will result in a very costly exercise. Although we know that there will be no fully electric Mondeo replacement, our engineering teams are actively working with a number of leading manufacturers to explore cost effective, perhaps full electric, alternatives. For now, we have an opportunity to secure a limited number of Mondeo units to see us through until 2022. This means customers have a very limited time frame to secure a new Mondeo hearse or limousine in Hybrid and Ad Blue Diesel variants that meet the stringent LEZ and ULEZ requirements and also effect a positive and sustainable contribution to your communities. To discover the full benefits, pricing options or arrange a demonstration please contact your Coleman Milne area sales manager on 01942 815600 or email us at info@coleman-milne. co.uk. FuneralTimes | 71

Grave Robbing, Digging and DIY Coffins... By Mattie Lennon

ver see one of these on a grave? It’s called a mortsafe. They were invented because after the Murder Act of 1752, surgeons could only dissect the bodies of convicted murderers who were hung for their crimes. This meant only 30-45 bodies a year were ever available. In order to be able to keep working however, Scottish anatomist, Robert Knox, would pay for any body which was brought to him regardless of the cause of death so he could examine it. The problem then was people would break into graveyards and steal dead bodies and bring them to Knox. (No questions asked.) The authorities turned a blind eye to graverifling because surgeons and students were working to advance medical knowledge. Publicity was kept to a minimum to prevent people from realising what was happening. The cases of grave-robbing that came to light caused riots, damage to property and even fatal attacks. In the early 19th century, with the great increase in numbers of schools and students, there was continual rifling of secluded graveyards, fights in city burial grounds and other disturbances. Men were employed to steal bodies and transport

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them from place to place, even across the sea, for sale to medical schools. Revelations led to public outrage, particularly in Scotland, where there was great reverence for the dead and a literal belief in the Resurrection. It was popularly believed that the dead could not rise in an incomplete state. The story of the Irish pair Burke and Hare has been well documented. Over a 10 month period in Edinburgh they killed 16 people and sold Knox the bodies. They were eventually caught. Hare was imprisoned and Burke was hanged. Burke was then ironically dissected and his skeleton is currently on display in the Anatomical Museum of the Edinburgh Medical School. And of course we in Ireland weren’t behind in the art of grave-robbing. In 1943 author George A. Little interviewed Malachy Horan, a farmer, in Killenarden, County Dublin. Horan told him, “There were in those days men who went by the name of ‘sack-em-ups’- what you would call resurrection men. They used to rob the graveyards and sell the bodies to the doctors.” Up to the middle of the twentieth century there were Irish families who carried the nickname, “The Sack-em-Ups.” (Often, I presume, undeservedly.) Burke and Hare

Grave-digging competition in Siberia. By God, the old man could handle a spade. Just like his old man. (Seamus Heaney.) In the days when graves in Ireland were dug voluntarily by neighbours such a person would be in demand. However, in Ireland we didn’t have a monopoly on respect for the dead and the willingness to assist at a time of bereavement. In Hungary, grave diggers used to be honoured members of society. Nowadays, unfortunately, most people look at this profession as a low grade way of life. In order to preserve the grave digging professions dignity and good name, MTFE (the Hungarian Cemetery Maintenance and Operation Association), revived the tradition of Hungary’s grave digging competition in Debrecen, in the year 2016. The competition, held at the same time as a professional conference, garnered quite a lot of media attention, and it achieved the goal of the association: it was an interesting challenge for people working in the field and it has shown the people of Hungary how much skill this profession, (and also other challenging physical work) truly requires. The National Grave Digging Competition took place on the 3rd of June, 2016, between 8-10AM, in front of the public, in the cemetery of Debrecen. Teams of two could compete in the event. Besides speed, the judges also took into consideration aesthetics, and work safety measurements, when choosing a winner. Sándor Kerekes of Országos Temetkezési Egyesület és Ipartestület told me. “The team reaching 1st place were able to represent our homeland in the V4 National Grave Digging Competition in November of the same year, in Slovakia. Up until the coronavirus pandemic, Hungary has held the grave digging competition annually, with different locations

each time. This year, due to uncertainties regarding the current situation, the competition will be held off. Hopefully, in 2022, the competition can take place again.” Wouldn’t a grave-digging competition be ideal as a fund-raiser or some such on this island? It wouldn’t have to be in a cemetery. Any reasonably level field in the Golden Vale or the Central Plain would suffice; any area that is relatively free of subterranean rocks. It wouldn’t work in my neck of the woods. Our family burial ground, in Baltyboys, sits on a vein of granite which stretches from Bray to Carlow. Even Seamus Heaney’s father’s spade wouldn’t make any impression on it!

DEAR ANCESTOR

AUTHOR UNKNOWN FuneralTimes | 73

lderly people in New Zealand are enthusiastically embracing a new pastime: coffin construction. Scores of retirees across the country have formed clubs so they can get together and build their own coffins. They say the activity is cost-saving and helps to combat loneliness. The original coffin club was founded in Rotorua in 2010 by former palliative care nurse Katie Williams, 77. Since then the model has spread around the country, and there are now a dozen coffin clubs operating in both the North and South Island. One woman who had made three coffins, for herself, when asked why? replied “Because I keep putting on weight.”

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Funeral Times issue 3 2021

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Kylie Gourley joins IAFD Board