Instant(aneous) Connections

I think we can all say, even if somewhat squeamishly and at a very low volume, that if we were to scroll through our TikTok feeds and hop into our Instagram explore, or even hark back to Tumblr, a remnant of 2014, we would find at least a few edits and thirst traps of celebrities and probably more than a few fictional characters. I know when I was watching House of Dragons, my social media was full of thirst traps about Matt Smith and Emma D’Arcy. They were generally slow-motion close-ups with a hot and heavy R&B soundtrack trying to seduce me through my phone screen, and I didn’t bat an eyelid.

And I wonder if that isn’t the case for many others.

In an age of increased online usage coupled with national lockdowns and a reduction in face-to-face interactions, perhaps people have turned to fan edits and thirst traps to satisfy a need for sexual stimulation that they were deprived of during the pandemic. According to Survey Monkey, 75% of young adults (18-24 years old) use Tinder, which is widely used for casual sex. Whereas Bumble, an app where women initiate conversations, trails behind at only 31%.

The trends suggest that people prefer casual hook-ups over the potential for long-term relationships and so perhaps our social media reflects this.

But I can’t help feeling that that might be a slippery slope. Watching fan edits of your favourite celebrity allows you to view a carefully curated series of their best angles or the hottest moments. Liking a video compilation of Timothee Chalamet licking his lips in slow motion as he moves the hair out of his face hardly bears any relation to the reality of dating him. As disappointing as it may be to hear for those die-hard Chalamet fans, he would not be licking his lips seductively towards you 24/7.

Such expectations of carefully crafted seduction and sexualisation are bite-sized and inauthentic. And the question must be, how does such a view shape our relationships with mere mortals. Are people dissatisfied in their relationships because they don’t live up to such well-crafted snippets? And are people bothered about having relationships if they can just as easily access a quick fix of sexual fulfilment?

Amongst my own friends I have heard their relationships woes; the partner who doesn’t want to be anything official but still calls for the hook-up, the girlfriend who doesn’t want to be tied down to one person, or the boyfriend who isn’t ready yet. All of these reasons are spat out quickly before being repeated with a new set of people. My friends’ break-up stories are similar. Tales of breaking up over what could be considered silly things, and when I’ve relayed these tales to my mum she has replied with “they can’t be so picky, people aren’t perfect, you just have to find someone you like enough” etc. But is that the case? Are people becoming pickier; are they laying out clearer boundaries for what they want in a relationship, or is it an excuse to keep from commitment?

I’m not sure but I think that a move away from relationships to online connections seems a clear reality. Fan edits and thirst traps seem more of a symptom of this preference for a quick fix of sexual gratification over the commitment of a relationship but it’s a fine line. Is this all just a storm in a teacup?

Words by: Poppy Atkinson Gibson

Page Design: Ananya Ranjit